Length of a Wedding Ceremony?

So I've never been married myself, but I've been to a number of marriages. Unfortunately, I've never been to a Catholic one (well, one or two were Catholic, but not a Catholic ceremony). It honestly depends on the people. The longest marriage ceremony I went to was a Charismatic (spelling? It's a Christian sect type thing...) ceremony, where partway through the preacher went off preaching about sin and then started 'speaking in tongues'. Oy. It actually wasn't boring, but he ranted for a good hour before getting to the actual 'I do's'. The preacher also seemed really angry because my cousin was marrying some kind of holy person in their church, which took up a portion of his rant.... I don't really remember, I kinda tuned him out after about five minutes of such ranting and tongue speaking.

As far as I can tell, the more traditional "ceremonies" one packs into the ceremony, the longer the ritual takes. I've been to ones that were literally about 20 minutes long from the time the people walked down the aisle to them kissing to seal the deal. I've also been to ones approaching two hours (the Charismatic one). The longer ceremonies tend to be rarer (at least in my experience) just because people get bored after about 10 minutes, unless the couple has come up with something very unique (my cousin had a Jewish/Christian ceremony where they split the traditions evenly, which took time but was really interesting for everyone because of what they picked, etc, and they also took care to mention what the ritual meant so both families knew what was going on).

Some people write personal stories they'd like to be mentioned or read in addition to the vows, to make the ceremony special to them. Or the priest/preacher will mention something about how the couple interacts with each other....how the couple met....things like that. Now since marriages are encouraged to be so tailored to the couple's taste, it's hard to make generalizations.

The only time I could see a ritual going over two hours would be if something goes wrong, so things need to be held up for it, or if the couple underestimated how much time things would take, or they just wanted to do so much that it took so long. Most marriages I've been to have been about 30 mins-1 hour. Usually less, but...yeah.

Um, hope the rambling helped!

I would say two hours is probably too long. Probably more like an hour for a Catholic ceremony with a full mass (with communion). However, the family/wedding party may be at the church for a while beforehand taking the sacrament of reconciliation (confession), so they could easily be at the church for two hours, especially if they dress or take pictures at the church before the ceremony.

There will definitely be three scripture readings and a homily (sermon). There will probably be a unity candle, and at some point someone will probably sing or play Ave Maria. If there is communion (and if they're heavily religious, there will be) there will be a Presentation of the Gifts, where three people will present the bread/wine/monetary offering. They walk down the aisle and hand these to the priest. Oh, and any guests or members of the wedding party who are not Catholic cannot take communion. I've seen this cause issues at a couple weddings where some non-Catholic guests believe they should take communion any time it's offered...and someone had to ask them not to. (This seems to happen particularly with Lutherans for some reason...although that might just be because I know a lot of Catholics who married Lutherans.)

I haven't heard the "speak now or forever hold your peace" in real life...but that doesn't mean you can't include it. My priest told us he's never used it because it just invites trouble.

This website has a pretty good description of the ceremony:
http://www.catholicbrides.com/cathinfo_details.php?ID=23

I'm not Catholic but I have been to several Catholic weddings and they are LONG. An hour to an hour and a half, but a I bet you could come up with a priest who could drag one out to two hours. Sorry I can't tell you any more details about Catholic weddings. There's alot of praying and kneeling and alot of ceremonial rigamarole.

I've been to a protestant wedding that lasted only fifteen minutes once, but usually they last around 30 minutes, depending on the amount of music and songs and the length of the vows and the pastors sermon.

Hey, I'm Catholic and I've been to a bunch of Catholic weddings. Yes, to an hour- or maybe hour and a half. two would only be if the preist made his sermon (called Homily in the Catholic church) really, really long. And yes, some of them do. There would probably be grumbling about it from some of the guests.

Most of what happens has already been mentioned, but there are two things I'd add.
1) the ceremony includes threee kisses, only one of them at the end of the vows (one is at the handshaking part just before Communion and the other I can't quite remember when, but it's there).
2) Many really devout families include a Presentation to the Virgin- the bride precesses up to the statue of the Virgin Mary and gets a blessing form the Preist that is mean to insure that she is fertile. I wish I remembered when this occured in the order of Mass, but I only remember that it is sometime before the Vows (which follow the Homily) which follows communion).

Happy Writing,
Ginger

Catholics do not include "speak now or forever hold your peace", as a rule, and I don't think most priests would even allow it to be added as a "neat little family custom". This is because we get at least two people who know the bride and groom well to verify that they aren't related, aren't currently married, haven't made a solemn religious profession, are mentally capable of marriage, that sort of thing, so all of that is done with long before the day of the wedding.

If this is taking place before the 1960s, let me know - the answer changes, quite drastically, if that's true.
If not, keep reading:

If both families are Catholic and both people are Catholic, the wedding will very likely be during a Mass. Before Mass, the priest is likely to say a few words of greeting and introduction. (There was more at my wedding, because my husband's family wasn't all Catholic, and most of our guests were non-Catholic or hadn't been practicing Catholics since childhood.)

Then there will be the procession in, usually with some instrumental melody but sometimes with a hymn. (A secular song will need approval from the priest (or, more realistically, whoever he tells to listen to it and make sure it's appropriate) and will be discouraged anyway.) Sometimes the groom waits at the altar for the bride, sometimes he walks in with one or both of his parents (but if he does, he arrives first so he still waits for her).

There will be the opening prayers of Mass at this point. If you're interested, I'll type up the ones that were said at my wedding this summer. (There are only a few to choose from.)

Then there will be a reading from the Old Testament, a psalm sung, a reading from the New Testament (but not one of the gospels), and then a reading from one of the Gospels.

Then there will be a short sermon. (Or, depending on the priest, perhaps a very long one!)

At this point, my husband and I (well, my husband-to-be at that point) took some flowers to a statue of Mary and asked her to pray for us, while one of my favorite hymns was sung. This used to be extremely common and is less so now.
I suppose someone could have a poem or something read at this point.

Then the priest will ask the bride and groom some questions, I can type them up if you're interested - basically, "are you willing to be married?" and "are you willing to have children?". I think there were four.

Then come the vows. They must be in a certain format and must include certain promises, and most Catholics just use one of the two (I think two) official phrasings. They can be asked as questions, can be memorized or read, or can be repeated after the priest.

Then there's the blessing of ring(s).

Next, there's the "prayers of the faithful". These are things like, "For the Church, that God will bless it, we pray to the Lord." and "For John and Jane, that God will bless them and give them many years of happiness, we pray to the Lord." (After each, the congregation would respond, "Lord, hear our prayer.") This could be an occasion for creativity - I wrote the ones used at our wedding - but in general they go: prayers for the world, for the Church, for the specific parish, for the families, for the couple, for deceased relatives. The first and last can be left out.

Now, if this is taking place during a Mass, the second half of Mass takes place, like normal except there are probably some differences to the specific Eucharistic prayers. Otherwise, the Lord's Prayer is said.

Then there's a blessing for the bride and groom (but mostly the bride) - it's basically "bless him as he starts his new life, bless her with patience, understanding, helpfulness, joy, and kids". I could type that up for you if you wanted, too.

Then there is the recessional (the bride and groom walk out, with the wedding party, any altar servers, and the priest).

The ceremony will probably not be two hours long, but an hour and a half wouldn't be unreasonable if it's taking place during Mass and a large number of people are receiving Communion, or if very long readings are chosen (though that might be discouraged).

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Uncle Cosmo, why do they call this a word processor?
It's simple, Skyler. You've seen what food processors do to food, right?

The three kisses are optional. One comes after the vows, because that's the first kiss as husband and wife, but that's optional. The second you're thinking of is the sign of peace, where in the US most people shake hands (because we don't hug or kiss people we don't know well). The third would probably be right before the procession out, when the priest introduces the couple as "Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe".

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Uncle Cosmo, why do they call this a word processor?
It's simple, Skyler. You've seen what food processors do to food, right?

I'm a traditional Catholic and had a nuptial Mass. The ceremony takes about an hour and a half, although the wedding part itself is only a few minutes. There is no "speak now..." in it. The vows are first, and they are very simple with no superfluity of words. Then the blessing and giving of the ring. The Mass then starts and continues, as usual, with the homily before the Offertory (about mid-way through). The priest would talk about the something spiritual in nature, because a traditional Catholic marriage is viewed as a way to get to Heaven, and traditional priests usually focus on spirituality and the meaning of true love. This is usually about 15 minutes, roughly. The Mass then continues until the 'Our Father,' which is just before communion. Directly after the 'Our Father,' the priest gives the nuptial blessing, which is about the length of 5 'Our Fathers.' Then the Mass continues to the end, and at the end, the bride offers a small bouquet to the Virgin at her altar, which is to the side of the main altar, and it is not to do with fertility, at least in the traditional Church, but as a consecration to her, to be holy like her in being a wife and mother. No secular songs are played (no 'Wedding March' -- that is not allowed), although, for the entrance music, a classical piece may be played. The music throughout the Mass is religious, such as the Ave Maria or Panis Angelicus.

The day before, the entire wedding party (the Catholic members) and family would go to confession. If they say a family rosary, it would be offered for the bride and groom.

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Uncle Cosmo, why do they call this a word processor?
It's simple, Skyler. You've seen what food processors do to food, right?

A bit off-topic, but if you are writing about a Catholic wedding ceremony, perhaps you can use this little story that happened to me.

Backstory: It was the first Catholic wedding I'd ever been to. My boyfriend's whole family is Catholic and I was raised a good ol' Southern Baptist. So I wasn't totally in the dark about the Bible and such. But as it turns out, the Catholic Bible has more books than the bibles used in (most) Baptist churches.

Including a book with the story of Tobit. Which I had never heard.

So the priest is doing the wedding ceremony and starts talking about Tobit. It's a pretty normal Bible story, up to the point where a bird shits in Tobit's dad's eyes. I must've had a look like "WTF" on my face, because the priest looks RIGHT AT ME (the only non-Catholic) and says "You look worried. But this is a good story." And everyone laughed at me.

And it's on their wedding video.

Seriously the most embarassing thing ever.

The Catholic wedding I attended had a Shania Twain song playing during the lighting of the unity candle...

By "traditional", elizabethm means "the way things are done in the extraordinary use" ('use' is a specific term meaning a specific way of celebrating the sacraments) or "a person who attends mostly services celebrated according to the extraordinary use", I think. (Sometimes the extraordinary use is called "the Tridentine rite".) In the rite of marriage in the extraordinary use, or in the rite of marriage prior to 1970, there is no unity candle. (The actual rite of marriage in the ordinary use only allows that particular ceremony, it doesn't encourage it.)

Priests who celebrate the Mass according to the extraordinary use, i.e. the ones most likely to celebrate a wedding according to the extraordinary use, are much more likely to refuse requests to have secular music than priests who celebrate the "ordinary" rite; the guidelines for celebrating a wedding according to that use may actually forbid any secular music, but I don't know that for certain.

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Uncle Cosmo, why do they call this a word processor?
It's simple, Skyler. You've seen what food processors do to food, right?

My husband and I were married in 1991, and we had a full nuptial Mass. Our wedding was probably right around an hour. That is a bit on the short side for a full nuptial Mass.

Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.
-- Charles Bukowski, From "Betting on the Muse"

Is somebody giving a sermon? If so, you'd better check on whether or not this person is longwinded. That's all I have to say.

and in the snowy graveyard
white roses still can grow