Thanks to everyone who came to the Pan-Bay TGIO. While you were all partying, some people worked together to create a great collaborative story, one sentence as a time. We've typed it up and are posting it here -- read it for a good laugh!
Once upon a time, there was a pair of talking scissors. Their names were Cut and Snap. One day, Cut decided he needed more spork to his life. So Snap hooked him up to a generator. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" Cut asked.
"Less talk, more juice!" said Snap.
At just that moment, a parade of insomniac clowns burst through the door, demanding a sniff and he said, "And by the way, less cowbell also."
"I'm sorry, the cowbell was an accident," said Snap.
"Hello--trying to get some spark, can we hurry this up?" asked Cut from his position, which was prostrate on a fold-out table.
Just then, the Sears opened, and the Store Manager discovered the scissors attached to the generator.
But Cut said: "I said I wanted spork in my life."
"In that case we must go to KFC, not Sears, where the spork comes with the moist towelette."
"By to get a spork from KFC, we'd have to go through Colonel Sanders, and his checken powers are tremendous," said Snap.
"Let's not go," Cut pleaded, "I really don't want to go near any towelette." Little did they know, the feral sporks of KFC caused Snap to snap; Cut got a new friend--Run.
"Excuse me," said one of the insomniac clowns, "but I'm still waiting on the cowbell thing here."
"More cowbell?" asked the priest.
"No, less cowbell, damn it!" said the now insane Snap. Suddenly Snap got a grand idea. "What we need is some color to brighten things up," she smiled. "Purple would do just fine."
Cut heaved an enormous sigh of relief -- "No more rental white! No more, we're free!"
"Only so long as they don't go hysterical like the last one we cut up," Snap stated mournfully.
Run got jealous and started after Snap, wielding the spork dangerously.
"Wait a minute," Cut interrupted, "that doesn't work. He's not supposed to get the spork 'til part three."
So saying, cut dropped a forearm sliver into Run, sending the spork flying through the air, along with Run's forearm, splattering the room with bright red blood, breaking up the dreaded rental white of the walls.
"Thank goodness!" Cut exclaimed. "You know red is my favorite color!"
"But the blood throws off the Feng Shui of the room," Snap concluded, a convenient tourniquet ceasing the bloodflow. Just then, Evanescence popped up and Amy Lee claimed copyright. Followed by the band that originally wrote the song, which resulted in a very entertaining episode of Jerry Springer.
When out of the blue, Rock appeared and growled menacingly, "What have you done with Paper?"
Paper was hiding behind the door, which meant, of course, that three of the traditional five Feng Shui elements (earth, metal, and wood) were represented, leaving only the priest, who was, in fact, more of a vicar, skulking in the corner, upset that he had been ignored. Fortunately, the priest believed in recycling, so he grabbed Paper and, with a few folds, designed a new airplane! Four paper cuts later, he realized that he had discovered a new and utterly unexpected principle of aerodynamics--namely, that if you can dream it, you can do it. Unless you've ingested too many steroids and your arm explodes.
At which the Rock said menacingly, "Are you implying that I took too many steroids?"
"Vat ees these--eempleecayshun?" was the reply. But the conversation was interrupted by the sound of Chris Baty's laptop crying to itself in a corner.
Rock, Paper, and the scissors turned to it and said, "Don't worry, there are support groups for that, but you should probably brush your teeth before we head out.
Snap and Cut could not agree on how they would dispose of the body, but they knew that something would have to be done. They grabbed a rake, a shovel, and other implements of destruction. Suddenly, a helicopter appeared overhead and dropped a large object on their heads. It was a piano. Though just like in the cartoons, Cut and Snap popped back into 3D, A.O.K.
Suddenly, a disenchanted stripper ambled by, dragging a feather boa and a broken G-string. "Damn it," she mumbled, tripping on the broken piano.
It was at that moment that a door opened above the piano and a cube, with hearts on each side, fell onto it while a woman's voice explained that this weighed campaign cube will never threaten to stab the stripper in the back and, in fact, cannot speak," which the stripper found to be quite odd, but she was also quite drunk. Which went a long way towards explaining why she had woken up married to an Elvis impersonator, with "I love Bill Gates" tattooed on her butt…and she didn't know a darned thing about computers, and therefore had never played Portal--just the occasional game of DDR--and thus was quite chagrined when the DDR game was loaded.
It changed her life. She'd been a stripper but never really danced. Sure, she'd gone through the motions that the production coach screamed, but she'd never felt the music like she had when DDR came on, saying, "This is a fun dance party. She was hooked. And she was liberated. Life was good.
Just then, Tavia entered and exclaimed, "Enough! NaNo has ended. Please go home and sober up! If you survive there might be another year…"
…and in conclusion, they put in more cowbell.
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2005 NaNo: Lunar Reflections: 50K
2006 NaNo: Kes Running: 60K
2006 SF: Words Alone: 20K
2007 NaNo: The Printer's Daughter: 70K
