Dating

1. a date is attending an activity where the two people interact...the more the interaction, the more interest the couple has in each other. Going to a movie on a first date is not a great date, but dinner and a movie is perfect since the couple will at least have the movie to talk about if they run out of things to say.

2. a camping trip with lots of time to play and a lot of time to talk in front of a fire.

3. My answers changed in my twenties and then again in my thirties...most changes happened in accordance with the seriousness of the relationship I was in at the time.

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1. A date, of the romantic sort, is a meeting of people (two, or more - it happens) whom are physically or emotionally attracted to each other that tests compatibility through conversation and entertainment. If amiable conversation, that is relatively steady and free of awkward silences, persists and mutual entertainment is found - it should be considered a successful date.

2. A restaurant, nothing too expensive but nothing too cheap, with a lot of food options - don't take a girl to a sushi place unless you know she likes sushi, you know? Make sure it is a quiet enough setting so that you can chat; while the ESPN Club has some excellent chicken wings and good entertainment, it is a bit awkward for a first date. While entertainment is good, it can be tricky if you don't know your date very well. This will mostly depend on if you were friends beforehand or not. Were I to date one of my friends, I would know what sorts of movies and music we both liked and could plan accordingly. If, however, I were going out with a relative stranger, I wouldn't presume anything - particularly as my tastes are awfully esoteric. That being said, allot for time to be spent doing something spontaneous, and look into options near where you'll be dining to suggest during the conversation.

3. I don't think they really have, honestly. I've only had a handful of relationships, and a smidgen more dates. The latter never becoming relationships simply because of a certain level of awkwardness. And all but one of my relationships came from previous friendships (usually very close ones). The one exception was a girl, a cousin of a friend, whom I only knew through reference. However, I was still very young when this relationship began, so we found our mutual entertainment through means of an arcade and pizza. Then again, if a man was ever ballsy enough to say "Let's go to Dave and Busters, then maybe get a pint," he'd probably have me in bed with him after the first date. ^^;;

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1. A date----two people going out with the intent of getting to know each other romantically

2. Something light and fun---NOT a movie (movies are not a way to talk). But coffee for some would be nice. Or a trip to a nice event.

3. I used to think that a movie would be a good first date. Now I don't.

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1. What constitutes a date?

'A date' has confused me for so long. I went out to lunch a few times with a workmate, and only now do I look back on it and realise it was a date. It all depends on feelings, I guess. If there's attraction there, and intent, it's a date. I didn't realise it was a date until now, because I didn't want to get my hopes up haha

2. What would be the perfect first date?

Now? Hmm. An afternoon of writing together at a coffee club - since I think I'd be dating a guy who's a friend first... Then dinner at a very nice but casual place, with quality of food and quietness above everything... and then a nice walk somewhere - but not at a beach.

3. How have your answers to these changed as you've grown up?

Hmm. I don't think I'd want that kinda date when I was younger - I probably would have thought of the movies first. And I would have thought a date was something where it's more of a 'alone with two people' kinda thing.

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1. I think the 'date' tag is made when the person who suggests the meeting makes it quite clear that they just want the other person, no one else, to attend. But of course, the two must also be relatively unknown to each other for this to apply; if I get along well with my girlfriend's sister, and we're both interested going to the same exhibition, say, that would not necessarily be a date if we went together.

But of course many, many people have fretted over whether an activity constitutes a date. It's a damn good debate. Perhaps to be explored in some kind of lengthy prose.

Like a novel.

'will you go out with me' is an obvious dating question. A perfect first date would be one where two people actually want to spend their lives together! none of that 'oh hes hot but stupid' crap!

1) A Date is (as someone said above) an activity two people paticipate in together with the general intention of getting to know each other better in some way.

2) Well, some good dates I've been on have been new activities that allow time to talk - my favorites have been ice-skating, watching a Roller Derby Battle, dinner and the circus, a trip to a museum or gallery (even better if it's one of MY exhibitions as I like it when they like my art!) etc.

3) My definition of dating has not really changed over time, more the motivations for doing so.

Hi
Well I am from England and Im 18 years old and I have never been *on a date* - but I have had a few boyfriends.

I think we dont have the whole *date* thing over here. Theres none of that *Oh do you wanna go out on a date with me* type of stuff, and no going to see a movie *on a date* and all that.
You *go steady* and *start going out with* a person but Ive not seen anyone experience the formality of a date. The concept is actually strange, it seems too organised and contrived to me.

So I can only give you my IMPRESSION of what a date is- a meeting of 2 people who are looking to be romantically involved with eachother.
Typical dates I gather would be like, going to the cinema, going ice skating, going out for dinner (but I never did this with anyone I dated). I noticed this happening a lot in early-teen years and as me and my friends progressed into late-teen we stopped doing stuff like this. Maybe its an English thing, I dunno!

For me, the perfect date would be one of my typical experiences with one of my previous boyfriends - just walking around the neighbourhood together for hours and hours, just talking, until it got dark. Doesnt sound like anything special but in any of the stronger seasons it is romantic as hell (In Summer, if its late afternoon you get the golden glow everywhere and then you see the fiery sunset and then its dark but still warm. And if it is Winter then you get frost and snow and you will be snuggling up together in your coats while wandering around). I mean that could give you some great imagery if you want to go with that angle, you know the simple yet beautiful thing. Or highlighting the fact that a date doesnt have to involve money.
More often than not I have just sat in the park with a guy the first time I went out with him. Its free and youre surrounded by so many beautiful things.

I dont know if I would LIKE to go out on a date. There would be such a feeling of pressure and expectations and that whole OH WHAT AM I GONNA WEAR malarky and that. A casual meeting is much more comfortable. The poster up there ^ who mentioned going out to dinner - see the thought of going out to dinner with someone I just met actually puts a lump in my throat and I get nervous. Its too pressure-y! Haha...
But my idea of dating is what I have outlined and as you can see has changed over the pre-late teen years.

Anyway, sorry for being lame haha. Dont know if that helped at all!

1. Two people spending time together for the purpose of getting to know each other, with the intention of pursuing a more than friendly relationship if things go well.

2. Coffee and a walk. I know it sounds like it wouldnt apply to younger people but I remember my first date when I was about 14 and that's exactly what I did. I guess one of the two would have to be pretty conversational to make it work. I personally dont like horror movies, but aparently going to the movies to see a horror film is supposed to be a good date because fear is often mistaked for intense attraction

3. Not really, more that the answers would change the longer I was in a relationship with someone, having said that I'm still young and havent 'grown up' yet haha

1. Same as the answers above.
2. Going for a walk. In the case of my fiance, the walk was more of a way to get to a destination, but we still remember it as the highlight of the day.
3. I have realized that I hate dating. I like being with my fiance and I like going on dates with my fiance. However, dating usually means worrying about whether or not the guy likes me and if I will like him.

1. A date is where a young man and a young woman go off together with the intention of getting to know one another better, which might lead to future dates or even marriage. A date must be planned ahead, paired off, and paid for -- otherwise, it's just hanging out. (Thank you, Dallin H. Oaks.)

2. I think the "perfect" date would depend on the couple. My idea of a perfect date would involve two hours of religious service and dinner at a nice Italian restraunt. Or maybe a NaNoWriMo write-in.

3. I've changed my opinion on a perfect date. And the first answer was defined by a fireside a couple years back.

"What you create doesn’t have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast is burned? Don’t let fear of failure discourage you." - Dieter F. Uchtdorf

1. Wait a minute... Dates are not only for people that are young and just getting to know each other! Married people still date each other oftentimes to continue romantic feelings, get rid of other distractions and grow closer to one another.

However a "Date" is generally an activity where two people romantically inclined towards each other engage in some sort of planned activity (dinner, movies, snorkling, carnival) where they can talk, enjoy each other's company etc. (Although there's always group dating...)

"Dating" however is generally a term for people who are young, looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse and interested in getting to know someone new or someone they've been friends with at a romantic level

You may also be interested in "courting" a term that had gone out of fashion and made a come back. Some young people prefer this route as opposed to dating where the intention is not a series of fun activities but seriously looking to be with someone in a marriage relationship.

Okay - hope none of that sounded like I was talking down - I'm just going for the most generic definitions from my head.

2. Perfect date... Oh I don't know. My husband and I consider our first date when he asked me to his sister's wedding. Meeting my future-in-laws and 400 of their closest friends ;) He was glad I wasn't scared off!
Some people (usually older like mid-20's to 30's) seem to be more into more "activity" things - snorkling, rock climbing...
Some people (Hate to peg it but the girl, I'd guess more often) don't care for creativity as much as longing for that traditional movie and dinner date just because that's what they've seen and waited for someone to ask them on...
Basically - "perfect" is totally going to be defined by your character's personality and desires.

3. for sure! I used to think going out to a resteraunt was like "the" deifnition of a date.... taking a walk with my husband now, going to the beach and sitting and watching the water... I mean we've even gone and just gotten ice cream. (Cheap or free can be great dates... Lots of people do coffee but we don't drink it.) I mean we still like movies and dinner, but often more simple stuff enables us to actually date more often and we enjoy that.

1. I think the definition of 'date' has changed quite a bit in the past few years. These days, I think any type of 'hanging out' with a guy/girl you like is a date, or dating... But I still qualify REAL dates as going to the movies, dinner, different kinds of events.

2. The perfect first date? A movie. I think the movie theater is the best place for a first date, because it's so simple, yet it really lets you know about the person you're with. First off, if you're both seeing a movie you like, there's one thing in common! I also found that on my 'first date', I learned a lot about my now-boyfriend that I never even knew -- what he liked, what inside jokes he had... It also takes the pressure off of you, since you really don't need to worry about anything once the movie starts. Haha. I know, I'm a dork.

3. Not very much. I don't think I've technically gone on a date yet... I mean, I think I have, but it would've been a double date and whatever. And yeah, I sort of constitute 'hanging out' as a date (my boyfriend asked me out, but we didn't really do anything except for walk around and be silly. xD)... But, whatever. Hope I could help!

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Keep the answers coming, guys...

one more question:

4. How do you know it's a date? (especially if the people involved don't say "hey, lets date!" ??)

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4. Well, I have been on a few dates, and speaking as a teenager, usually, you have no idea that your going on a "date" and usually everyone else around you makes the decision to call it that. Every first date I have been on wasn't called that by the participating members.

Just my experience.

1. What constitutes a date?
There are two types of dates--individual and group. On an individual date, only the couple is there. On a group date, the couple is there, along with a few friends to kind of take some of the pressure off. Most people prefer group dates in middle school/early high school, when they first start dating, but as they become closer to their partners, they prefer to spend more time alone. Once a couple decides they are "dating," anytime they hang out could be considered a date.

2. What would be the perfect first date?
Something simple and sort of romantic, but not too much pressure. Maybe going for a walk, or going to one person's house and watching a movie

3. How have your answers to these changed as you've grown up?
I'm only dating people who I'm friends with first now (I've been friends with my girlfriend for 6 years), so there is no awkward get-to-know-you pressure on the first few dates. I've always been someone who prefers individual dates over group dates, because I get shy and awkward around too many people, and I wouldn't be able to say anything. But my first two boyfriends I didn't know at all before I started going out with them, so there was a lot of time and energy wasted trying to figure each other out. With my current girlfriend, we already know each other inside and out. When I was younger, my idea of a good first date would be something quick and to the point, like going to a movie and then going home right after, because I liked the idea of being in a relationship far more than I liked actually being with the person I was dating, so I wanted it to be over as quickly as possible so I could get back home and back to my normal life. Now, though, I prefer that my girlfriend and I don't go on traditional dates, that we more just live in each other's everyday lives, if that makes sense.

4. How do you know it's a date?
It's not a date if they're not dating. Even if there's a crazy amount of sexual tension between two people, as far as I'm concerned anyway, they're still just friends hanging out until they actually declare their feelings to each other. The only exception I can think of is a "cheating" situation where one or both people can't really commit to a relationship with the other person because they're already with someone else. But when they get together, they're still dating.

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1. What constitutes a date?

lol. I don't know. I'm 23 and haven't had a date yet, so you see, no snide comments here.

2. What would be the perfect first date?

I've always figured I'd like to be taken somewhere fun--maybe rollerblading, paintball, laser tag, something like that. The guy will pay, and he'll pick me up and drive me home. The most important thing about the first date though I think, would be who I was going out with. Since I'm shy, he'd have to be very charming to charm me out of my shell, funny, easy to get along with/nice so I don't feel self-conscious, smart, and able to help me out since I stink at all three of the aforementioned activities. XD I guess the perfect first date would be doing something fun with a guy I already know a little or am friends with.

3. How have your answers to these changed as you've grown up?

Immensely. When I was younger, my idea of a perfect first date was the typical dinner and a movie deal because I just didn't know of anything else. I also thought about picnics alot. I got the new ideas above after watching the paint ball scene from 10 Things I Hate About You. It looked like such a blast that I felt it would be the very most perfect way to start a relationship.

For what constitutes a date, I've always heard the 'three p's." Although I've actually heard it a couple different ways, so it's four p's-- planned ahead, picked up, paired up, paid for. Although I guess these days people go 'dutch' more, but traditionally whomever asks pays for the date.

One of the best first dates I had involved dinner, a string quartet concert, and ice cream after, but the best part was just talking. Actually, I prefer when first dates are inexpensive, there's a bit less pressure if I know I'm not making a dent in the guy's wallet. And I'm sure the guy prefers it, too.
The best is when there is time for communication, but distractions too. For example, I would pick a museum over a picnic or a movie, because you can talk and have good conversation, but if it gets awkward or you run out of things to say, you can just say "How 'bout that painting?" or whatever.

I don't know that my answers have changed that much, although I've come to realize going on a first date isn't as huge of a deal as it seemed when I was younger.

If it makes you feel better, I was 22 on my first date ever.
Obviously, I learned very little by the experience. (Seriously, question 1 exists because I really am that cluessess and need it defined.)

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When we were young and poor my now DH and I often went to the local miniature golf course or to the conservatory to stroll among the plants (Phipps Conservatory in Pittsburgh, PA had quite reasonable admission).

One of the most memorable dates we had then was when he borrowed his mom's .22 rifle for me and took me can plinking.

After any of those activities we usually went for ice cream -- even if we had to scrape change out of the car seats to afford a sundae to share.

He gave me the perfect date on Valentine's Day a few years ago -- a surprise day out shooting at the range, strolling in the botanical gardens, having ice cream, and eating at a restaurant that didn't even have a kids' menu.

IMO, a date where you do something is better than one where you just sit awkwardly in a restaurant trying to think of something sensible to say. :) Its less conventional to visit a museum, take a class on fly-fishing, go bowling, or whatever, but you can't talk and get to know each other while watching a movie and the activity gives you something to talk about over dinner.

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1. Two people who may have a romantic interest in each other taking out time just for each other and interacting.

2. It depends on the person. I went to a movie with one person (This was actually our only date), to a big concert festival with another one (it was local and with a bunch of country bands; we just wandered around), spent a week in his hometown with another, and have plans to install Linux on my computer for my potential next first date. Conclusion? It doesn't matter as long as it makes both of you happy.

3. See above.

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all such good answers. Please keep them coming, and please include any other date related info you'd like to add.

I have one critical piece of info missing, and I simply lack the... something... to ask the right questions.

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I can tell you how young people date - they don't.
I am twelve and I have never been on a date, although I do have a boyfriend. I can tell you though, at my age there is no such thing as liking or loving someone. It is strictly crushing on someone, and the feeling usually goes away very quickly, although in some cases like mine, you do crush on each other for quite a while. I've been with me boyfriend for about seven months(thats a really, really, REALLY long time for my age). Dating for kids at my age is basically going to a movie with some friends or a picnic in the park - the guys can't drive yet.

Hope that helps, though I doubt it will.

1. What constitutes a date?

A romantic date can be anything. Obviously it's not going out to the mall. However, a get together can be nice. This could be a fair/carnival, a movie, dinner, a concert/show, or some other type of event. It just has to be fun. Depending on the age of the people, it needs a certain amount of conversation. It also needs to be fun and not a stressful environment (although sometimes, those little emergencies and strange situations make a great date).

2. What would be the perfect first date?

A perfect first date for me would be something fun. A carnival or fair type thing is a great first date for me. You can talk and enjoy each other's company, but there is also a lot of other stuff to do. You can learn a little about each other and just have fun. You can play games, eat food you don't normally get to eat, while still being able to have that intimacy (perhaps on a ferris wheel or something).

3. How have your answers to these changed as you've grown up?

Well, I haven't really grown up that much. When I was younger, I would consider a date as even hanging out on the couch. This is still a date, but not a great first date. A movie is something else I would've enjoyed, and I still enjoy. However, it's a little impersonal for a first date if you can hold a conversation with the person you're out with.

4. How do you know it's a date? (especially if the people involved don't say "hey, lets date!" ??)

You should be able to tell it's a date. The people would be flirting back and forth. The setting would be more romantic and there would only be pairs on the date (If you really aren't sure, it doesn't hurt to ask).

5. Is there anything you can/want to add that I haven't asked?

On a first date, there is always the question of how far to go with the person you're with. This entirely depends on age. Usually, a kiss on the first date is acceptable, but it always depends on who and where and when.

1. What constitutes a date? Anything you are doing with a person you are interestedin as more than a friend.
2. What would be the perfect first date? Honestly, if I'm with someone I want to be with, it doesn't matter what we're doing. For ME though - perfect would be a horseback ride in the woods, picnic and maybe find a lake to swim at.
3. How have your answers to these changed as you've grown up? Yes - when I was a teenager, a date was a movie, that's about it.
4. How do you know it's a date? You know it's a date if there is flirting, if you are interested in the person as more than a friend, if you aren't already friends with this person and therefore it's not "usual" to hang out, etc.

1. An activity where two people have an interest in each other and spend some time interacting one-on-one, hopefully in a romantic setting.

2. For me, going to the park or zoo and kicking around. Going to see a local band play somewhere (because most local bands are bit more low-key with shorter sets to allow more interaction). Something fun and casual.

3. When I was younger I thought that the perfect date was going to a concert. A fun, loud concert. But I've realized after dating a few people that it's not much of a date if you spend the entire date focused on something else - such as a movie or band.

4. There are certain signs that people generally give if it is a date. If it's just you and one person, that's a hint. If they seem more interested in you than normal, that's another sign. If they sit close to you, touch you, show physical signs that it's a date, that's a sign. If you go to a movie or show of some kind and they ask if you'd like to go to dinner, that's a pretty good sign. My really serious boyfriends were really obvious about things. One of them asked me where I'd like to go on a date and such. The other asked me to a few dates but was really noncommittal so I just said, "Do you want to seriously date me or not?" because I got sick of it.

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