Have you suddenly hit a brick wall, confidence-wise? Are you looking at what you've written so far and going "OMG, this SUCKS!"...? Are you gnawing on your fingernails, afraid to type another word?
Well, fear no more! Time to give encouragement to others who are feeling the same sinking sense of dread, and then get some in return!
With thanks to Larking, who started a similar thread in the Science Fiction lounge, based on a thread in the Fantasy lounge...
Read the excerpt of the WriMo who posted above you. Tell us what you think, offer some suggestions, and then wait for someone to do the same to you. Also, if you could post the name of the person you're evaluating as well as your review, because occasionally more than one person replies at once and things can get confusing.
(And yes, I'm gnawing my own nails, pounding my head against the brick wall, and trying to find a way to climb up and over it. Rawr!)
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52,713 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 12 47
@prairiecrow
Awesome! Love it! I'm amazed by the originality of your idea. And your style is so descriptive, it's a great painting of the scenery and your characters. I get zero sense of suck-ery at all. Keep up the good work! :P
----------39,048 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 12 56
Yours is so bouncy and energetic and genuine. It's the kind of thing you can just sit back and enjoy reading because it feels like the writer has really flung themself into writing it. It's very vivid and pretty funny, too.
84,493 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 13 26
chokeonirony, your excerpt, although short, has a lot of depth and character to it. The style that it is written in and the format gives wonderful glimpses into your character. Great job, keep on writing!
----------"And alll I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by." - John Masefield
53,318 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 13 50
@MarcyCabaras,
Wow. I got completely lost in that excerpt! (In a good way!) I was surprised and disappointed when it ended. It's very engaging and does a great job lulling the reader into a false sense of peace, the pretty dress, the gorgeous day, the picnic, and suddenly a cloud is cast over all of it. Nicely done.
----------http://swdooley.blogspot.com
NaNo 08 -- LIVVIE OWEN LIVED HERE (Feiwel and Friends, 2010)
NaNo 07 -- JOY, HOPE, AND OTHER LOST CAUSES (in revision)
161,000 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 14 09
@sarypotter I love your excerpt! The sense of loss, the sense of confusion, and coming to terms with the universe not doing what you expect. Very atmospheric!
----------45,032 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 14 08
@sarypotter
I actually love your excerpt. The beginning is really effective at drawing the reader in and you are very good at capturing emotion and creating a voice for your narrator. Your descriptions are also often very well done, and I like that you use description to tell more about the characters, rather than just infodump (Such as your line: "Embers still glowed deep red like the throat of the vicious dog that bit Ivy last year.") The writing is clean, easy to follow, and interesting. Definitely seems like something I would like to read more of!!! KEEP WRITING!!!
----------Nano '05 - Words Left Unspoken 51k
Nano '06 - The Last Page (version 1) 16k
Nano '09 - The Last Page (version 2) - WIP
sanity - 56%
7,645 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 14 11
Adrianne, I guess I did this wrong, because I think you already have a post about your excerpt - But I read your excerpt, thinking yours was the one I was meant to comment on, and i just have to say, *what an original idea*! I just love the concept! Do keep writing - I want to be able to pick this up off the shelf of my local bookstore and read the whole thing. You go! JA~
----------161,000 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 14 13
@amantila oops, looks like we posted at the same time! LOL
I loved your excerpt, I'm intrigued by the moral dilemma aspect of it. I think it'd be fascinating to watch such a confident, assured person realize that there was one thing that they couldn't do--very nice!
----------40,668 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 14 15
@amantila
I love it! It looks like you're able to write fast; there's a definite sense of purpose and flow to your words. It reads like they were conceived intact and then quickly written down without anything lost. I especially dig "he was surprised by the warm, salty flavor of crying." Keep it up(!)
----------7,645 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 14 23
Looks like things are breaking down here at the "Say Somethng Nice..." thread! @ SaintJoi - The descriptions of wear and dust are terrific. I could feel the age and brittleness of the old equipment, and had a strong impression of how desolate the environment is where your protags are arguing. Great atmospheric work! JA~
----------7,645 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 14 30
P.S. - Next poster please comment on Cupofcoffee's excerpt (two below this one.) Thanks!
----------17,716 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 14 46
Cupofcoffee-
Although I had no idea what was really happening I liked it a lot.I REALLY want to get to know these characters more. Good job.
----------My NaNo Blog
40,012 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 14 53
@Fantasyfreakazoid
Your excerpt made me smile. I loved the description of Hydrangea, especially the bit about her lips. I felt a strange empathy with Fury, and hope he gets someone to attack soon. Which may or may not have been the point. :) I definitely enjoyed your concept and the little bit of world building I glimpsed from such a small excerpt. Excellent job so far and keep it up!
7,763 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 14 54
Fantasyfreakazoid - I really liked the description. It paints a vivid picture, so one knows exactly what the characters look like.
43,580 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 15 02
@Fantasyfreakazoid
I really like the names you've chosen for your characters, they're different without being impossible to read or commit to memory. I actually liked your synopsis of your story more than your excerpt since it sounds like a really interesting plot whereas in your synopsis I was waiting to read of your MC and was reading about Hydrangea instead. You broke the fourth wall in your beginning paragraph which was a little iffy for my personal tastes but it reads like there's been alot of thought behind the entire history and background of your characers and world, and that's awesome :)
@indeliblecello
So I'm not used to reading this genre so you'll have to forgive me if I don't know what the heck it is I'm talking about. Your synopsis sounds really cute, like it could be one of those warm family movies everyone loves to watch around the holidays. The set up I felt was realistic without it being overbearing or cheesy to show that its set in the real world, but after only two weeks and wanting to introduce her boyfriend to her family seems a little off to me. That's probably just personal preferance though in that I know in real life that'd also bother me but at the same time I wonder if I would sympathize with you MCs mom on the matter of getting married since it might feel very rushed. In any case though, since I don't know your whole story it's hard for me to say and as fr your actual writing style I think you carried out out wonderfully.
----------51,651 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 15 55
@InkyBear: Whoa. In a good way. I'm liking this excerpt. I'll definitely have to keep an eye on you. Two eyes, whenever possible. I love the concept, the execution, other worldly feelings, and generally everything about this excerpt. "They were all dead." That made me shiver.
----------stock from http://tonne124.deviantart.com/ and me!
50,809 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 15 56
@ InkyBear
Beautiful, in a horrifying way. I found myself wishing you'd given a longer excerpt. I may just be half asleep still, but the description, specifically just after she (whoever she was) jumped up after seeing whatever they'd brought out. Was it meant to be so confusing? haha
----------Either way, it was intriguing, mystifying, and utterly terrifying, as I think it was supposed to be (again, unless I'm so half asleep I can't read correctly).
16,000 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 16 09
I LOVE your description and pacing...exactly the things I'm having trouble with at the moment, actually. I can feel her worry about the man, and I've experienced similar things, where I went past one threat, only to see another. (I've never been abducted, though....)
You also seem to have a plot, and I definitely want to read more -- I want previous context AND what happens next!
I don't have a plot.
Oh well.
----------from the ashes a fire shall be woken/a light from the shadows shall spring/renewed shall be blade that was broken/the crownless again shall be king.
51,651 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 16 13
Boo, I was skipped.
@Tar.miriel: Cute scene. Dani's already believable and sympathetic, and I want to know more about Shaun.
Also, awesome signature. I have that memorized. ^_^
----------stock from http://tonne124.deviantart.com/ and me!
50,809 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 16 18
@Tasha
You are not forgotten! =D
Your description of the fighting was very good, though a little brief. Had I been writing it, I probably would have gone into endless detail about the fighting, until my audience was bored to tears. As it was, it was very brief and concise, and it got the point across nicely. I couldn't help wondering what exactly a Shadow is, and who the girl who killed the Shadow was.
----------Wonderful names, as well. Names are always the hardest thing for me to come up with
51,651 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 16 22
You are not forgotten! =D
Your description of the fighting was very good, though a little brief. Had I been writing it, I probably would have gone into endless detail about the fighting, until my audience was bored to tears. As it was, it was very brief and concise, and it got the point across nicely. I couldn't help wondering what exactly a Shadow is, and who the girl who killed the Shadow was.
Wonderful names, as well. Names are always the hardest thing for me to come up with
Well, good. That's exactly what I want people to wonder about. ^_^
CRIT LADY EEMIA
----------stock from http://tonne124.deviantart.com/ and me!
40,012 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 16 27
@Lady_Eemia
The end of that is so startling. I mean I kind of saw it coming, but not really. The description of the autumn day was perfect. Fall is my favorite season too and I really felt empathy with Ember at that point. I could almost smell the leaves. It is definitely an interesting excerpt. I would love to read the rest. I'm so curious as to who is who and who is doing what and why. Nice work. :)
50,809 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 16 39
@ idc_chan
Very interesting. I automatically felt that your MC was a likable character (omg, why aren't names registering in my brain right now?! D: ) and I was curious about what may or may not have attacked her. It was definitely enough to catch my interest.
Good luck with the Vampires, haha. I once tried writing something about vamps, and I failed horribly at it. They're hard to find any sort of plot for. D: So good luck =)
----------57,539 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 16 54
@Lady_Eemia
Your excerpt leaves me wanting to read more! I want to know what happens to Ember (love that name, by the way). The general premise is great; it reminds me a little of the Uglies series by Scott Westerfeld (not enough to be derivative though) which is definitely a good thing. Nice job. :)
I don't have an excerpt yet, just a synopsis, if someone would be kind enough to take a look at that. I would have to edit an excerpt for about a week before I'd feel confident enough to post it...
----------"When writing a novel, that's pretty much entirely what life turns into: 'House burned down. Car stolen. Cat exploded. Did 1500 easy words, so all in all it was a pretty good day.'"
-- Neil Gaiman
51,651 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 16 59
@Lady_Eemia: Dang, that's harsh. It's very good, though. Showing this point in change in Ember's life: she'll obviously never be able to be the same again. I'm very curious about NCIR, the mysterious ------, and her fellow captives.
@GeorgeEliot: First of all, let me say I love that author, and now I'm pretty sure I"m going to love your works too. A delicious spin on tales of faery and the classics. I look forward to reading your excerpt. (Especially since it's set in Michigan. w00t.)
----------stock from http://tonne124.deviantart.com/ and me!
63,872 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 17 24
@Tasha
This seems like quite the fascinating story, even just going by your excerpt. Also, for some reason it really tickles me that the hero (I assume? He seems like the hero) wears glasses.
----------9,500 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 17 58
@Cuno
I like it! I'm not usually big on dragons, but the end left me hanging. Good job!
----------Caffeine makes the heart grow fonder~
40,149 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 18 09
@Cuno -- Hah, I love dragon stories! Though this little one still seems like quite the handful. I really like all the little descriptions of how the dragon shifts appearances throughout the scenes, and Tobi's personality is pretty quickly defined as soon as he's introduced (I wish I could pull that off, hah). Would be really curious to see where this story goes :)
@ Panacea -- Ooh this one raises so many questions and curiosities-- is it an opening scene? The portrayal of the mother cracks me up, and Drasil's response to the whole incident, everything is okay because he didn't die! Pretty interesting characters overall. (Also, off topic, but your signature made me giggle)
----------2007: In Tyger's Eyes (unfinished)
2008: The Dreamer Duet (Barely started)
2009: Who knows?
56,003 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 18 17
@ Amaikokonut:
This sounds fascinating! I'm curious to know if Terrabyte's name has any particular significance to its origins. Her brother's condition also reminds me of an episode of CSI (haha) in which a brother and a sister both looked like werewolves because thick hair grew all over their bodies. I definitely want to know more about Terrabyte, though, and the "something bigger" you mention at the end. This is absolutely something I would pick up and buy at the bookstore.
----------40,668 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 18 32
maxvinyl, yours sounds supah-cool. The setting seems to have a really individual feel, which can be difficult to pull off in a genre like sci-fi where most of the conventions are used over and over again. I'd definitely pick it up if I saw it in a store (which reminds me, your cover art is ruley!)
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