Excerpt:

“Humans are so dumb.”
The scrying pool shimmered innocently. There really wasn’t much else to do in these situations.
“All right, I’m done. You can stop now.”
The scrying pool obliged. The top of Calvin’s bleach-blonde head walking alongside Matt’s much shorter, sandy brown one disappeared and was replaced with a reflection of the roof of the cave. A bat peered down at it interestedly for a minute, stretched its wings, and went back to sleep.
“God, Nester, you’re such a bum!” The elf glared irritably over at the bat, which obstinately continued to sleep.
“Nester! Foul deeds are afoot!” the elf exclaimed, waving his arms wildly over his head.
He was tall and blonde and typically elvish-looking. His stately appearance was somewhat diminished, however, by the long, fake grey beard he had attached to his chin. It was held on by two ridiculous-looking elastic straps that did not quite fit behind his pointy ears, but were instead wrapped tenuously around the point.
The bat continued to ignore him. The elf stormed around angrily for a bit. Suddenly, there was a knock on the wall of the cave.
“Enter!” the elf shouted dramatically. “Enter but BEWARE, for here lie secrets men and elves dare not speak of! Enter, but at risk of learning that which you would fain never have known! Enter, humble soul, but only at your own risk for you have reached the cave of the great sorcerer Fred!”
Three more elves entered.
“Greetings, Lainedon,” the tallest one said with a stately nod.
“There is none by that name here!” the elf exclaimed. “You see before you only the great sorcerer Fred and his humble familiar Nester.”