This Space Intentionally Left Blank
an excerpt

Chapter Eight: Obligatory Dream Sequence

“Della”. Richard was shaking me gently. I opened my eyes to a bright blue sky. His face swam in front of me like a big pink beach ball bobbing up and down in the ocean on a warm summer’s day. A gentle smile played on his face as I looked into his cool blue eyes. This is a lame dream.

Chapter Nine:...

...

“Here.” I rushed over and listened. A loud beeping, coming from the section of wall we were standing in front of. Puzzling. And worrying.
“What do you think it is?”
“I don’t know. I’m sure it’s nothing good.”
“Well, there must be something back there….”
“I told you we should smash through the wall.”
“Well, with what?” We both started looking around the room. The beeping got a little faster. Some mixture of panic and an unknown plot point made me look under the bed.
I gaped in amazement.
“Richard…,” I called him over as I pulled a chainsaw out from under the bed.
A mother fucking chainsaw.
“Was that here this whole time?” I was somewhat shocked and bewildered and I was getting afraid. I couldn’t fathom what was going on. It all felt like a bad dream. Nothing had been able to make me realize what a strange and foreign place I was in, and how far from home I was, than the appearance of a mother fucking sixteen inch STIHL chainsaw underneath a bed a person I barely knew and was just felt up by had woken up in a few hours earlier.
“Richard, what do you think—” I looked at him and was startled. He was picking up the chainsaw with an almost manic grin on his face. He rolled up his sleeves and flashed his big white shiny smile at me with a crazy twinkle in his eyes.
“Stand back.” Terrified, I stood back.
He pulled the cord and it roared to life. I could see the muscles in his forearm working and straining as he lifted it up and shoved the blade into the wall. I pressed my hands over my ears and backed further away. He cut a big section of the wall away with a few wild strokes. I was backed all the way against the opposite wall. My eyes were wide as he sliced into the wall with obvious jubilance, showering the room with wood chippings and drywall dust. The wall fell away with a CRASH and I looked away as dust and rubble filled the room. The noise was profound. I turned my face away and squeezed my eyes shut until I heard the noise stop. I let my hands fall back to my sides. My ears were ringing. I looked from the gigantic hole in the wall— a room full of people on the other side, all looking shocked and amazed— to Richard’s maniac face that was mostly a grin. My mouth was open with shock at the look of complete nirvana on his face. I gaped at him.

“That was fucking sweet,” he said.