After Fifty Years
an excerpt

Chapter 1

Addie Haralson felt her heart pounding in her chest as she stood up, clearing her throat in front of the crowd of guests who were just finishing up bites of cake. Addie had made the cake herself the day before, a four-layered tiered beauty with white frosting flowers and swirls, an exact replica of the cake she and Alfred had cut, holding the knife together, when they’d gotten married 50 years ago today. Fifty years ago today! It was so hard to believe… she felt like she was in some ways, no different from the 18 year old girl she’d been then, and yet it also seemed light years away. Half a century. It sounded so long, and she could remember going to her grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary when she was little and they had seemed ancient to her, gray hair and wrinkles and bodies shrinking in on themselves. Addie did not feel that old. She certainly didn’t want to act that old.

She was standing up at the head table, the guests still talking. Alfred looked up at her quizzically, and one by one the kids all noticed her too. She spotted the cordless microphone on the long dinner table next to Perry, who’d been the last one to make a toast before dinner, and when he looked up at her she motioned for him to pass it down. He shrugged and passed it along until the smooth black metal was in her hand. Her heart now sounded like a huge Native American drum pounding quick, thunderous beats. She clicked the tiny button to “on” and raised the wire- mesh head to her suddenly very dry lips. “Hello? Hello everyone. Excuse me; I’d like to say something.”
The cacophony of talking voices slowly halted, winding down to silence. Addie’s cheeks felt hot and she knew they would be rosy red. She swallowed and tried to smile brightly; she closed her eyes for just a second and then dove, just as hesitant as she’d be before jumping into a cold lake.

“First of all, I’d just like to say thank you, to all of you, for being here today. It’s been such a lovely day, and it’s so special for Alfred and me to have all of our dearest family and friends celebrating with us today. And kids, “she turned her head to look at her sons and daughters and their spouses, “thanks to you for planning this anniversary. That means a lot to me.”

She took a deep breath and held the microphone in both hands, as if praying, as if pushing the words up with her arms as they flew out of her mouth. “I have an announcement to make, and I know this will be hard for some of you to understand. I’ve had 50 good years with Alfred, and I’m so proud of the life we’ve had together and the family we created.” She looked down at her husband sitting beside her, a small pleased smile on his face, and she knew that what she’d say next would probably smash that smile to bits. She went on. “I do love you, Alfred, but I always said I only wanted to be married 50 years. You’ve heard me say that, haven’t you? Kids, I’ve said that many times, haven’t I? You all laughed, and maybe I was joking the first few times I said it, but I’m not joking now. We’ve had 50 years of marriage and I’m done now. I want something different, I’m not sure what yet, but I’ll figure it out. I’m leaving tonight to go on a cruise all by myself. Don’t worry about me, I love you all. The lawyer will come with divorce papers, tomorrow Alfred.”

With that, Addie grabbed a wine bottle off the table, picked up her purse and marched toward the door. The crowd had been stunned into silence but as she walked out she heard the roar of voices, full of exclamations and questions. Addie walked as quickly as she could in her two- inch heels, her panty- hosed legs rubbing together beneath the swish of her special dress. Penny and Rose had helped her pick it out special for the anniversary, and she knew she’d never wear it again… in fact she’d probably give it to charity just as soon as she could. She clicked her way through the doorway of the reception room, down the hall and had just gone through the doors to the outside when she heard fast footsteps pounding, and she felt a hand grip her shoulder. She had been afraid of that, afraid someone or maybe a whole mob would come after her, demanding that she change her mind. She could see the limo outside the door, not too long but dark and shiny, the limo she’d hired a few weeks ago to whisk her away to the airport. There she would fly late that night to Florida, where she’d board her with her single ticket the ocean liner for her Caribbean cruise. But first, the hand gripped her desperately as she stopped and turned.

It was Nick, her first born, piercing her with his deep, sky- blue eyes that were almost like looking into her own eyes. He was tall like his father, the same lean but sturdy build, and his wavy light brown hair and beard showed squiggles of gray here and there. He was 45 and always the super-responsible one—no wonder that he had been the one to catch her before she left. “Mom, what *are* you doing?” he nearly shouted as he gasped for breath from the running.

Addie felt a stab of pain but she wouldn’t let it weaken her resolve. “Oh Nick, please! This is what I have to do. I, Have, To,” she punched out each word firmly. “I can’t explain it now. Tell the others that I’m fine, nothing is wrong, there is no lover or anything like that. I’ll be in touch after the cruise. Help your father—he’ll need it at first.” She stepped forward and hugged him fiercely, this grown up man who had once been the baby she rocked and sang lullabies to. “I love you, but I need to go now.”

She pulled herself away and nearly jumped into the open door of the limo, where the driver waited patiently, closing it after her. When he got in the driver’s seat, she said, “Quickly, please!” She settled back against the velvety deep red seats and turned to look out the darkened glass at Nick, standing there with eyes full of pain and shock, his mouth gaping open with words he was too stunned to say.