Awaiting a Reply
an excerpt

The Romans searched the streets for Jonathan, but he was not captured. He did not return to the inn, thinking they knew he had lodged there. Jonathan would have to find a place to hide. He had no idea where that would be. Thoughts came to him maybe he should go back to Hebron. He had left money at the inn under the mattress he slept on. He would not be able to get it. If only he knew where to find his brother. The thought that he may be with the Nazarene did not matter; in fact that maybe beneficial. Still that was more of a wish for he had no idea which direction to meet up with them. He wasn’t sure which way to go. Stay alive and out of prison can be difficult when you don’t know where to go. His mind drifted on to Barabbas’ welfare. He couldn’t leave him imprisoned by himself. No telling what the savages in armor might do to him. It wasn’t that Barabbas couldn’t defend himself but on the streets in Jerusalem being chased by Romans Jonathan was not sure how that would end. He could get himself killed depending solely on his strength. He needed someone to make the right decisions. Jonathan considered maybe he was not the correct man to be trying to help Barabbas after what he woke Barabbas and got him into. Barabbas was truly a young boy in a man’s body; a boy the age of Jonathan’s son, Chain. Was that why Jonathan guarded or Barabbas? He thought of Barabbas as Chai. Was he thinking if he Jonathan had died fighting Romans that he hoped some older Hebrew would watch over Chai help him grow to be a Hebrew man. He needed to wipe these thought out of his head. He needed to be concerned on where he was going and what he was going to do. The more he tried to think things about himself the more his mind continued to turn back to Barabbas and Chai. He wanted a strong drink. He needed something to make him laugh, before he reached the pointing of crying. How he would beat on his brother for weeping as if he was some Hebrew girl. He told him to stop it, or he would get hit again. Now he a warm stream rolled down his face. No one came and hit him to stop. He would have fought back if they did. It was the same thing which Simon tried to do when Jonathan hit him. Maybe that was wrong. Jonathan decided when he returned to Hebron, he would let Chai know it was good to cry. It was just alright for women and girls but men need to cry sometimes and it was good when and if they did. Jonathan would have to tell Simon he was sorry for being so mean as they grew up. He would tell him that he, Jonathan was wrong. No matter what he felt about the Nazarene, there was a warm spot in his heart for his brother.
Jonathan walked for some time he finally noticed he was at the place people were buried. Maybe this is where he needed to go sit and think. Maybe all his thoughts of a revolt to be free from the Roman Empire were a lack of true thinking. You think on such things only when you tired of thinking; tired of living; tired looking for some new direction to go, only you go around in circles making the same mistakes and blaming some others rather than yourself for all the mistakes that are made. Jonathan lay down under a tree closing his eyes and fell asleep.