My Year in a Dysfunctional Nonprofit (and an otherwise Dysfunctional Life)
an excerpt

The Slipper Debacle (a chapter)

I met Ellen, our Director of Marketing, that very first week. I was still dressing my best with a skirt, a button down shirt, and very high heels. I met her at the fax machine one day and she just looked me up and down and said,

“Oh girl, you can’t be wearing shoes like that all day. It will ruin your feet! You should get a pair of slippers and wear them during the day instead. That’s what everyone is doing now.”

And, in fact, she was wearing a pair of bright blue slippers. I wanted to fit in at my new job, and I had seen other people wearing foot-friendly shoes, so I went home that night and began to look for slippers. I settled on a cute pair from Victoria’s Secret and once they arrived in the mail, I brought them to work.

I have to admit one thing, Ellen was right: wearing those slippers around all day was vastly better than a pair of four inch stiletto heels. But, that’s so logical, why on earth wouldn’t it be true?

I wore them for a few days, maybe a week, before Jane called me into her office.

“Catherine, you cannot wear slippers around the office. It’s unprofessional.”

I must have just gaped at her, stunned into silence. I had been trying to do the right thing, to fit in, to not make any waves.

“I know they wear them in other departments, but we have corporate members back here all the time, and seeing you wear slippers is just the height of bad taste.” She continued as I watched her. Somehow I managed to nod my acceptance and went back to my desk, rather upset.

(As a side note at this point, I feel the need to mention that in an entire year in this job, only twice have I seen any corporate member come in that I had not already been expecting to see.)

Later that day I was wearing my stilettos again and Ellen saw me in them. “Catherine, why are you wearing those again? I told you to get some slippers so you wouldn’t hurt your feet or back!”

I smiled and shrugged and told her, “Jane thinks they’re unprofessional and wants me to wear shoes.”

Oye, if I had known what sort of mess that statement was going to create, I would have lied.

“Oh no she didn’t!” Exclaimed Ellen, putting her hands on her hips in outraged indignation. “It’s not her place to tell you that you can’t be comfortable.”

With that she stalked off into Jane’s office and began arguing with her.

“How can you be so unreasonable and demanding of the women who work for you!? You should be encouraging those girls to save their feet and their backs, not blindly hammering them into the same mold as everyone else.” I heard it clearly, even from my desk two rooms away. This was not going to end well.

“This isn’t about some women’s liberation movement, Ellen! This is about dressing like a professional in a professional setting.” Even though I wasn’t in the room watching, I could feel Jane look pointedly over Ellen’s outfit and shoes. Ellen had chosen to wear a jean skirt and white, button-down shirt with a cardigan and bright orange slippers that day. The resentment pouring out of Jane’s office could be felt simmering down the hallway.

“Just what are you implying?” Ellen said in a scathingly icy tone.

“I just think that if the shoe fits, or in this case the slipper…” Jane trailed off, letting the words she hadn’t said explode through Ellen. It was the psychological equivalent of waving a red cape in front of an enraged bull.

“Excuse me! I do my job just wonderfully, thank-you-very-much. And I’m always professional about it. You don’t hear anyone complaining, do you?!” Truth be told, I had heard a few complaints, but this was not the time to bring them up. Ellen was about to go on ballistic and all I could do was try and hide at my desk.

“Actually…” Jane said, implying that she had heard complaints as well.

The whole office seemed to hold its collective breath. Ellen gaped silently for a moment and was drawing breath to let loose a tirade the likes of which I am certain I have never seen when Arvin stepped out of his office.

In a sharp, no nonsense voice he said, “Just what is going on here?” I’d not seen Arvin command that sort of instant attention in my few weeks at the Society, and in the last year I’ve not seen him repeat it, but it was marvelous.

Ellen and Jane both seemed to shrink under his scrutiny, deflated of all will to continue with the argument. Ellen muttered something low and with one last scowl at Jane, quickly turned and left her office. With one last annoyed look at Jane, Arvin turned and went back into his office, closing the door behind him. It was a very definite end to the argument.