Stuff
an excerpt

“Hi. Deanna? Remember me, it’s Random? You know, from back in Pleasanton? We went out a few times a couple of years ago?”
There was a moment of silence.
“Random? The cable company guy? Right? With the mustache?”
“Um, yeah, I think I probably had a mustache back then. Sorry to bother you and all, but I was just thinking of you and thought I’d give you a call and see how you were doing.”
“Random, right? Yeah, I’m doing good. Were you the guy that I went to Tinka’s Halloween party with? I was so wasted that night, I could hardly remember anything that happened.”
“Tell me you do remember your cousin’s MG Midget though? Man, I thought I was going to rupture something in that car, it was so small. We were both pretty wasted that night.”
“Oh, yeah,” she said. “I forgot about that.”
There was an awkward silence. Then Deanna laughed.
“God, but Tinka always has the best parties. I remember she made up some story, like there was something about an axe murderer who had lived there once and everybody got real weirded out, especially once we’d been toking for a while. You know how paranoid it gets.”
Random laughed. “Yeah, I remember being pretty freaked. Tinka likes to do it up right. She made up some kind of story about a crazy old lady who lived in the attic and killed anybody who talked about her with an axe. It was a pretty good story. She really gets into that shit.” He paused for a moment, then
“So would you like to get together some time? You know, maybe talk over old times?”
“I’m sorry, Randall, but I’m kind of seeing someone right now.” He had to give her credit; she actually did sound kind of sorry.
“Oh, well, that’s o.k.,” he said. “I was asking just in case. You know, just in case you might like to get together again.”
“He’s a real nice guy. Super ambitious, but still sweet. That’s so hard to find, believe me. Most guys are either complete assholes about having money or they can hardly get off Mommy’s couch to go work at Walmart,” she said. “Peter, that’s his name, he actually owns his own business, a Jag dealership out on 206. It does real well. He figures that he’ll be able to retire with a few mil. in another five years when he’s forty. He says we’ll put it in a safe place, then live on the interest from all his investments, then he’ll just run a classic car shop, for fun and tax benefits, you know. He says between what I earn with my MBA and his investments we should have a comfortable life when we get married.” It almost sounded as if she’d memorized it--the Speech to Make All Your Friends and Enemies Crazy with Envy.
“O.K.,” he said. Christ. The only thing that could make her life sound any better was if she’d won the lottery. A far cry from the girls at Charlie’s House of Hiney. “Well, I just wanted to—”
“Sure,” she said brightly, and hung up.
Bitch. And she hadn’t been so much. If he remembered correctly, her ass had been huge. She was probably just making this guy up.
Then he yelled into the dead phone “Random. My name is Random, goddammit.”