Excerpt: Hetrazediphitadol

Inside the box was a small iridescent stone, about the size of an egg and shaped not entirely unlike two and a half servings of fruit salad. I turned it carefully in my hand, contemplating it, and still understanding nothing.

I glanced over my shoulder quite suddenly, not because I heard or sensed anything there, but because this is usually the part where somebody like an old wizard or something appears behind the hero to explain everything. There was nothing there. Slightly relieved, though no less confused, I turned back to face the wizened old cat-lizard sitting in the seat across from me.

I nearly fell out of my chair.

“So as I was saying” he said in a voice that oozed across my ears like rancid honey, “If we divide the ten ton horkelfax by—wait a minute, who the hell are you?” He looked at me with a ferocity unmatched by anything I’d ever seen before, unless you count my neighbor’s new kitten. That thing is vicious! “What is this place? This is nothing like the zoo back home. But no matter. On with the zargleblazzit!” And with that, he vanished, for no apparent reason.