Excerpt: Fires of the Mind

Finally the bell rings and I exit slowly, trying to let other people out so I can hear Mrs. Smith. I drop my pen so everyone else leaves. Mrs. Smith goes to her desk and tries to focus her thoughts on an e-mail, she does not manage it but I leave as in her mind she is panicing and confused. I should just let her think about it. I’m not that mean. But as I walk out I do purposely say in my mind “Its true. But don’t worry. I have always been this way. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I don’t know if she’s listening to my thoughts because I stay out of hers on purpose. I know I would hate it if I felt that horrible and didn’t even have my thoughts to myself and knew it.
If she did hear it, I hope it helps. I’ll see her tomorrow and find out then I guess. I hope I didn’t hurt her too much, or scare her. I really would hate myself if I did that…maybe I should try to stay out of her head again tomorrow. But I’m not sure I c an do that as I will be too curious and I am so used to going inside peoples heads. I could try to focus on the other students, I barely did that at all today. Actually thinking about it I can’t even name the kid sitting next to me. Its horrible. But still, I think I’m going to have to figure out Mrs. Smith first, the students, later.
I head to the barn after school to figure out my thoughts. I love the barn because I can actually think for once. I can’t hear the animals either, which gives me more of a feeling of what it must me like to be normal, which I often wish for. It’s the only place I can think with only my opinions.
When I get there I do really think as I stand in Thistles stall. I think about my teachers and classes, and which ones will be good, or bad. But what I think about mostly is Mrs. Smith. Could she really be able to read minds? I don’t know if I want her to or not. It would be sort of cool, but also scary. What am I going to do if she can? I lean on Thistle as I try to figure it all out. She did say she became a teacher because she likes “getting to know all of the personalities of her students and seeing them grow and learn together” and she also “loved going to school as much as teaching it!” That could be a clue she could read minds. Or am I just making stuff up to make it work. I don’t know. I’m so confused. Possibly more confused then I’ve been except when I first started reading minds. This is very confusing. I try to leave it behind as I saddle an impatient Thistle and go for a long gallop across the meadow, throwing dirt up in our wake. But as I soon as I finish our stretch out over the meadow my mind returns to Mrs. Smith and my problem at hand. I guess I will have to wait, and see what happens tomorrow. Can she, or can she not?