Synopsis: The Jeopardy Daley Chronicles

See, what you don't understand about teleportation is it isn't really like they show it in the movies. You can't just think: Oh, Hawaii is nice this time of year, maybe I'll go sing Drums of the Island Elvis style while wearing a floral shirt.

No. Teleportation is a lot more... What's the word? Unpredictable? Yeah, that's it. It's frelling unpredictable. And it has a lot to do with doors. Though I'm not sure why. I'm no scientist, heck, I took Environmental Studies just so I wouldn't have to do lab reports. And it's not like I can just go up to some prestigious university think tank or whatever the heck you call those researchers, and be like: I go to random places every time a step through a door. Want to study me and dissect my liver to see if I have some sort of odd genome that causes spontaneous facsimilation? Yeah... no. I'd rather see myself living a long life, even if my life consists of traveling to another place, time, or dimension every time I walk through a door.