Excerpt: As It Should Be

“Hey, check this out!”

She looked at the screen where Peter was pointing and read the text.

“What do you think?” he asked.

“Hmm...” she responded. It wasn’t the job of her dreams, but it was... interesting. Different work than she’d done before but not out of her area of expertise by any means. It sounded like the work would be variable, interesting, and while it wasn’t as prestigious as she had been aiming for, it certainly wasn’t below her. In fact, it might be useful sideways step to gain experience that would enrich her resume. It might even put her in with other researchers in her field and make the whole business of paper-writing and publishing a whole lot easier. Maybe -- it wasn’t entirely clear from the advertisement, but it might.

“Well?” he asked.

“It sounds kind of interesting. In fact, it sounds really interesting. Like the kind of thing I would have definitely gone for if I hadn’t ended up on the tenure track. Now... I’d be giving up a tenure-track position, so I’d have to do some investigating to see if there are comparable benefits, something I could gain from it that might leverage into a tenured position later.”

“Or maybe,” he added with a grin, “the ‘comparable benefits’ could be a job that you really like instead of one you just work at. What’s the big deal with chasing after tenure, anyway? Why does that have to be the goal?”

“Now don’t you start trying to talk me out of having goals. That’s what’s kept women powerless all these centuries. ‘What do you want to go and get ambitious for,’ kind of thing.”

“Oh, it’s not like that,” Peter said. “You know I’ve never wanted to interfere with your success in any way. I’m just concerned that you’re driving yourself nuts reaching for something that, while it’s not unachievable, takes so much effort and takes so much energy out of you that I’m wondering if it’s really what you want after all, or if it’s something that you think you should want because, I don’t know, it’s something women have been denied in the past.”

She frowned, but he had a point. Chasing after tenure was driving her nuts. Why did it seem so hard?

Probably because when it came to social research, she only thought she knew what she was doing. Maybe because, she had to admit to herself, she’d driven the other people around her nuts with always trying to be more “scientific” than they were, which was really her way of covering up her own ignorance of social research. It was much easier to just put it down as “unscientific” than to wade through all the literature on qualitative research.

But if this job were really as good as the announcement made it sound, she’d be back on solid ground again, back with people who understood what she was talking about, and people who knew the education piece. Maybe she’d pick up more of what the research piece was all about this time.

“Well, I guess it does sound interesting. I can’t lose anything by applying, right?”

“There, that’s the spirit! I’ll keep my fingers crossed for my application, and we’ll both cross our fingers for yours, and let’s hope one, the other, or preferably both come through for us. Wouldn’t it be perfect if that happened?”

Strangely, with the decision made, she felt lighter than she had in a long time. If both jobs came through for them, then yes, everything would be easier. Peter would have the job of his dreams, and while she might not have the absolute job of her dreams, she’d have something she really liked. They’d be working in the same city, a city they’d both liked. No, a city they’d both fallen in love with.

“I won’t get my hopes up too high yet,” she said. “But I’ll give it my best try.