Re: Adopt-a-Day Pep Talks!

I don't feel very peppy today. I feel very unmotivated.

I'm at 4500 words, and by the end of today I'm supposed to be nestled comfortably at around 13336 words.

This is how I'm feeling, yes, and I understand it's not uncommon to feel bogged down by the weight of walls, words, and a lack of will to keep going.

Fight it. I am.

I've read above many of the things I wanted to include in my pep-talk today. That I broke through a conceptual wall yesterday that leaves me hungry to write because it expanded the story. I also broke through a perceptual wall in how I self edit. Constantly. Before I even write the words to the page. My inner editor is a vile demon, wrought from the stuff of the seventh circle of hell that wants to leave me paralysed in front of a blank page constantly asking the question "Why the hell am I doing this? My writing is no good. I'm no good."

I killed my demon yesterday. It was a battle that only saw 500 or so words hit the page, but a world open up and develop in front of me. I know that I will write some crap. I need to let myself do so. We're panning for gold, here. With such a constraint of 30 days, what do you expect? Our words will be muddled, our plotlines all over the place, and our characters probably leave some things to be desired. At least, that's where I find myself.

"Damn the man, save the empire!"

So my demon lies dead at my feet, and yes there is a mountain of words left unwritten that I have to scale. I'm okay with that now. This month has become a playground of experimentation for me now. I'm going to go Pollock on my paper and see what sticks.

Don't let the bastards grind you down. The ones in your head. The ones that are telling you to just take a seat by the side of the road. They want you to sit down so they can steal your shoes and leave you begging for water or transportation or anything to get you out of the doldrums. Don't trust them. Their voices spew lies at you. You really can do this, and your writing is far better than you may think in the moment. In hindsight, later, you'll be able to separate the wheat from the chaff and bring everything together.

Now? Now is just for writing. Writing. Writing.

You can do it. Believe that you can. Know that you can. It's just one word following the next following the next.

So, I may not feel peppy today, and I may feel unmotivated at the mountain ahead, but I also feel determined. I'm not the first to feel these things in the face of falling behind or in the face of the blank page. I'm not the last either. I'm on a pilgrimage.

One step at a time, and I'm confident I am going to get there.

You can haz victory too. Trust me.