Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

ArborlonElf — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 08:54:52 -0500

One of my favorite threads from last year! I'll start with one someone posted last year (I forget who posted it or I'd credit them): C1: *microwaving something* C2: What are you doing? C1: Trying to kill myself through overexposure to low levels of radiation. What does it look like I'm doing, microwaving something? And one of my own: "Come right in! Thanks for ignoring the closed door and the do-not-disturb sign; I only did that out of boredom."

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LeighLeigh — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 09:08:45 -0500

I'm taking that second one. It's perfect for my character

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chalkdust — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 09:22:49 -0500

C1: Have you done [insert chore] yet? C2: I did that yesteday! C1: Really? Because when I checked ten minutes ago it wasn't done. C2: I did it yesterday, five minutes ago!

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ArborlonElf — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 09:26:44 -0500

I love that! I'd take it but it doesn't fit. :(

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guardian-hope — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 14:16:03 -0500

The second one is perfect for my story, I'm going to adopt it too.

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guardian-hope — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 14:17:24 -0500

I don't suffer from multiple personality disorder, in my mind, the more the merrier Fear the Penguins

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emmanatrix — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 17:57:28 -0500

C1 falls off a bed. C1: It would be pretty pathetic if after all of those near death experiences, I died from falling off my bed. C2: It'd be better than the toilet. C1: Fair.

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Lyndsi Strata — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 18:16:19 -0500

Totally nabbing "I don't have multiple-personality disorder. In my mind, the more the merrier." My story's MC has a girl with DID in it, so... :P

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SilverGryphon — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 01:14:06 -0500

So stealing this for my superheroine and her roommate. :D

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Madkatt — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 02:06:33 -0500

Heres some from last year I would explain it to you, but I am fresh out of crayons. I do have a sense of humour. For example, I'd laugh hysterically if you got run over." "You forgot the ammunition?" I could have shot him. Except, of course - no bullets. C1: You're not dead. C2: No. C1: Congratulations. That was actually a pretty good one. I'm shocked it came from your mind. "Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people."

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Lycaenion — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 11:51:44 -0500

I like the first one. My FMC and her boyfriend might end up with those - she's rather meaner to him than he deserves.

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Miss Katelynne — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 13:05:11 -0500

"You're right that wasn't funny. That was hilarious!"

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Swimmer117 — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 14:05:15 -0500

I'll take it, it fits

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dssmith — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 14:48:09 -0500

"If I had a dollar for every time you ( annoying action character does repeatedly ), I'd get change for those dollars, put the change in a sock, and beat you with it."

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Miss-Q-10 — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 15:23:48 -0500

C1: *walks in on C2 shirtless* ...Wow, you been working out? C2: *sounding flattered* Not really...but thanks for thinking so. C1: Really? Because you're sweating like a pig. Go take a shower. Female Character: ...Yes, please. Just walk right in. It's not like I could have been naked or anything.

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pastmeetspresent — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 19:49:09 -0500

C1: He could have killed you. C2: Yep. C1: But he didn't. C2: yep. C1: ...Damn. C1: They say sarcasm is the refuge of a shallow mind. C2: My friend, if that were true, your mind would be a kiddy pool. C1: *after a deep conversation* Sigh... C2: What are you sighing about now? C1: (weird look* Nothing. What, a brother can't take a deep breath when he feels it necessary?

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wingch — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 20:29:33 -0500

Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Girl: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. -- Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: Hiding from you. -- Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you. Girl: But would you stay there?

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Madkatt — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 07:11:22 -0500

This is one of my favourite threads. I can't take credit for any of these, I think they are all from last year. "I thought about being sane. This seemed like more fun." If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong." "See, the thing is we have a love/hate relationship. She loves to hate me and I hate to love her..." 1: Are you talking to yourself? 2: I was until you interrupted. A - "hey look a shooting star, let's make a wish!" B- "It's probably an airplane or something." A -"seriously out of everything that we've been through the last couple of days, can't we really just pretend that's a freaking shooting star!? will that be so hard to ask?" "You know, I could have shot you in the face. But that would've been rude." "Thanks for the polite consideration. I guess..." C1: [growls] I'm going to kill you. C2: [coos] Aww. Your struggle to hide your deep affection does wonders for my ego! Don't you ever shut up? No wonder your friends aren't coming to rescue you." C1: Put like that, it sounds like you don't care. C2: Sorry, I didn't mean to give you the impression I might. C1: "So there I was, confronted by a five year old asking me if someone had punched me in the neck and contemplating the eternal question: which is worse, sex or violence?" What's life without a little adventure?" "Safe?" C1: For the record, I blame you. C2: What!? This was your idea! C1: Well, you should've talked me out of it! C1: You are completely out of your mind!! C2: Duly noted.

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sadie. — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 13:44:27 -0500

C1- didn't we used to have more friends to chose from? C2- we drove them away with our sheer awesomeness C3- yeah we did! high five!

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Perse_Rising — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 21:12:45 -0500

"He always sounds so happy when she's trying to kill him." And this is one of mine from before the forum wipe: *three characters are standing before a looming, ominous building that they have to enter* Ch1: It's a trap Ch2: When is it NOT a trap? Ch3: *staring at the door* How about when (Villain's) symbol is not 'cleverly' hidden in the designs around the doorway? *Inside/Elsewhere, Villain slaps himself on the forehead at his/his minions' stupidity* This one is from my best friend, feel free to change the genders: Ch1: You, sir, are corrupting my civilians. Ch2: And you, sir, are ruining my business Ch3: You're both that special kind of genius-stupid, just kiss and get the UST over with *Ch1 and 2 begin to sputter in protest* "Oh god, he's humming Sephiroth's theme, we're screwed."

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isadorjoutinandvioletmanson — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 23:37:03 -0500

I LOVE YOU. :) Adopting!!!

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ArborlonElf — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 08:34:26 -0500

I am SO adopting the last one for my MCs. That is PERFECT!

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Blueocean — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 10:20:19 -0500

"You have the attention span of a goldfish with Alzheimer's."

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Sexmuffin_Cannibal — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 10:37:25 -0500

I love the second one!!

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RebelAngelMist — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 12:02:14 -0500

I love the last one. When Sephiroths theme starts playing . . . everyone dies (panties hit the floor.)

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RedxLuna — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 14:52:13 -0500

This one is perfect for my MC and his FC friend XD "What's life without a little adventure?" "Safe?"

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RedxLuna — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 14:54:58 -0500

Ch1: "Quick, its zombies! Head for the hills!" Ch2: "I highly doubt that its zombies." Ch1: "And I highly doubt that its unicorns."

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meggie358 — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 15:21:05 -0500

Nabbing the one about sarcasm! Thank you!

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meggie358 — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 15:25:54 -0500

Taking these ones! Perfect for my MCs! "See, the thing is we have a love/hate relationship. She loves to hate me and I hate to love her..." C1: [growls] I'm going to kill you. C2: [coos] Aww. Your struggle to hide your deep affection does wonders for my ego! Thanks!

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enthralling — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 16:34:05 -0500

"I'd like to offer moral support but I have questionable morals." "If you need to talk, I will pretend to listen."

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IzzieLostHerMind — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 16:46:26 -0500

That's my line. I'm so exited that someone remembered it!

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Frenzy — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 17:20:18 -0500

[quote=Miss-Q-10]Female Character: ...Yes, please. Just walk right in. It's not like I could have been naked or anything.[/quote] So adopting this! :D Leaving: C1: Is your room always this... messy. C2: No, of course not. Sometimes you can actually see the floor.

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DameIneffable — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 18:11:49 -0500

Adopting the three-liner! Thank you!

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not-a-damsel-in-distress — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 19:06:18 -0500

"I do have a sense of humour. For example, I'd laugh hysterically if you got run over." I'm stealing this one.

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ArborlonElf — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 13:33:21 -0500

I love that last one! I have One Winged Angel on my ipod specifically so I can write villain scenes easier.

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MollyRosey — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 15:18:45 -0500

All of these are ones from last year that I saved! Any part of you that touches me you're not getting back "The fact I haven't maimed you horribly is celebration enough. Woo hoo." "You get three guesses on where I'm going to stab you with this pencil." "I think about death everyday. I think about YOU everyday. It's funny how often the two thoughts coincide." "Stop telling everyone we're friends! You're amplifying my shame." "You don't make me laugh. You make me want to shoot something, and then laugh." "Nature can be so cruel. I mean, look at you. How could it screw up that badly?" "The problem with your face is that I can see it. Get lost!" "If only you were able to stop being such an idiot, I wouldn't have to hate you as much." "That's what I like about you. You're a reliable disappointment." "I really dislike you. Honestly, it keeps me up at night." "[Name] is the most evil human being on the planet, and may, in fact, be Satan himself." "I was just wondering how you comb your hair so the horns don't show." "I haven't had my morning coffee so I'm finding it difficult to find a more colourful way to say I don't care." "If you ever do want to know my opinion, rest assured it will always be that you're an incredible pain." "Don't look her in the eyes - she'll steal your soul." "Do you at least remember what you were doing the day they were passing out common sense?" "They say things happen for a reason. So remember, when I murder you heavy, blunt object, I had a reason." "Sure, sure. That's a great idea! I was just going to recommend throwing ourselves off the nearest cliff and saving them the trouble of killing us, but you're spot on with that one!" "My biggest regret is that I never got to push you into a wood chipper." "You're SO lucky you don't have any balls for me to kick you in." "Why don't you slip into something a little more comfortable... like a coma" Guy: Did it hurt when you dropped from heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were dropped on your head repeatedly as a baby? Guy: Hey, what's your sign? Girl: Do not enter Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: Hiding from you. "I think you know that as long as we're together, neither of us is going to be happy. So one of us had to step up and end this before we started hating each other." "See, it's like this; by breaking up with you, I am getting rid of an annoying, ravenous, blood-sucking tick!" I like my men like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer. Female Character: What's it like having a mind of pure filth? Male Character: Endlessly entertaining." Ledge: Hey, Solene-- Solene: I swear, if you take one more step, I'm gonna stab you. In the face. With this knife. Ledge: *pauses* sounds good to me. C1- Have you no conscience! C2 - Of course I do! It's in a little silver box at the back of my closet screaming, "Let me out, let me out! You're making bad choices!” "And what part of 'I'm taking a bath' did you take to mean 'come on in'?" "How dare you deny my nonsense with your logic! I won't stand for it!" "Welcome home. Explore. Knock yourself out. Please note that that is a figure of speech and that it would really suck for me if you managed to beat yourself unconscious whilst doing something." It’s like playing tag at recess in elementary school. You make up the rules as you go, and they always benefit you! "He's like a hormonal teenage girl in a man suit when he gets his feelings hurt." "I would think C2's smile lights up the room, but now I know it's just the glow of everyone else's hopes and dreams being incinerated." I'm not a bitch, I'm just honest C1: If you kill me, I’ll haunt you for the rest of eternity. C2: A tempting offer: An eternity haunted by you must be better than five minutes of conversation with you. "Boys are like parking spots. All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped." If I cry now, it will only make you that much more happy. "... I just fell for one of the single most obvious and oldest tricks in the book, didn't I." "Yeah, that's kinda what I was trying to tell you." *looks at mood ring* "I want to sleep with you. Or I'm stressing about my (home)work. I can't tell which." C1: "Stop acting so oblivious." C2: "Ah, so that's the word. I usually consider myself as an absent minded bad ass." C1: "Now why would I do that?" C2: "Because you love me." C1: "I most certainly do *not* love you; I don't even*like* you!" C2: "Okay, I'll admit that much. But you *do* hate me marginally less than you hate everyone else." C1: "The key word there being *marginally*." "But yeah, if I can get into this kid's pants, then I can probably also cure cancer and run a marathon and build a rocket ship." "All at once?" "Perhaps." "Name! Are you alright? How are you..?" "I'm fine, I'm fine. Only hurts when I breathe. I am fine." "... so do you want help or not?" "... no, I want to know if a granny skirt is fashionable this year. Yes, I want help. Twit." Just die. And if you won't die, just go away!!" "Can someone please diffuse the sexual tension in here?" C1: "The capybara is the world's largest rodent!" C2: "I thought *you* were. [C1 and C2 hate each other, C1 usually fights physically with C2] C1: "Let's just go have a civilized talk about this in the classroom instead this time okay?" C2: "No. I don't trust you." C1: "Seriously? It's a classroom, what could I possibly do to hurt you in there?" C2: "Stab me to death with a pencil." *All characters are in high school, C1 is drunk* C1: She laced my drink? Why the hell would she lace my drink!? C2: Maybe she wanted to tie you up and paint your nails! I don't know! C3: Or maybe she's evil? C1: Oh really? What gave you that idea? C3: I meant big bad evil. C1: Oh yay, does that mean I get to kill her? "We have a love-hate relationship. I love her and she hates me." C1: For the record, I blame you. C2: What!? This was your idea! C1: Well, you should've talked me out of it! C1: "Oh, god." C2: "Yes?" C1: "Sorry to destroy your ego, but you're not God." C2: "Only as far as this dimension is concerned." C1: Oh, bite me. C2: How hard Character 1, flabbergasted: "Dude! What the hell! Dude! What... what the fuck?!" Character 2: "Is that your entire vocabulary? Pathetic." Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? I’m gonna kill him. I don’t care if I have to jump to do it, tall bastard. C1: "I love you." C2: "I hate you." C1: ".... I'm glad we could have this little talk. "Will you please sit down, shut up, and at least PRETEND like you MIGHT have some sort of a brain?" C1: Your eyes are just so blue. Like a lake or something. C2: Speaking of lakes, do you want to find out how long you can hold your breath? C1: Are we fighting? C2: Oh, how I wish we were. C1: 'Cause you've really knocked me out. C1: What do you want? C2: World peace. A million dollars. A hot fudge sundae. One of those human-sized plastic hamster balls. C1 - “You’ll be the death of me (Name)” C2 - “Aww, but if you die who’s going to keep me out of trouble?” "Alright, I'll apologise for hitting him in the face. But he's got to apologise for existing." "This is [character name]. Careful not to trip on the pole up his ass." C1: Having butterflies in your stomach is a sure sign of love! C2: Or a sign that you may have swallowed a caterpillar. MC1: She terrifies me. MC2: As any proper woman should, right MC3? MC3: I wouldn't know, I don't deal with proper women. FC: My mother was very pleased with herself when she gave birth to a girl after having four boys. MC: And then that girl grew up to be you and she's been marginally less pleased ever since. "She has about as much tact as a lumberjack swinging an axe in a china shop."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

meggie358 — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 15:39:15 -0500

"Alright, I'll apologise for hitting him in the face. But he's got to apologise for existing." FC: My mother was very pleased with herself when she gave birth to a girl after having four boys. MC: And then that girl grew up to be you and she's been marginally less pleased ever since. C1 - “You’ll be the death of me (Name)” C2 - “Aww, but if you die who’s going to keep me out of trouble?” C1: Your eyes are just so blue. Like a lake or something. C2: Speaking of lakes, do you want to find out how long you can hold your breath? "Will you please sit down, shut up, and at least PRETEND like you MIGHT have some sort of a brain?" C1: Oh, bite me. C2: How hard C1: "Stop acting so oblivious." C2: "Ah, so that's the word. I usually consider myself as an absent minded bad ass." Female Character: What's it like having a mind of pure filth? Male Character: Endlessly entertaining." "You're SO lucky you don't have any balls for me to kick you in." Adopting! Thanks, I'll really be able to use these, especially the second one because my FMC actually does have four older brothers! THANK YOU!!! =D

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Drohd-b — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 17:02:55 -0500

love all of these!

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Drohd-b — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 17:04:55 -0500

love the third one! stealing!

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Drohd-b — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 17:16:12 -0500

Female Character: What's it like having a mind of pure filth? Male Character: Endlessly entertaining." C1: "I love you." C2: "I hate you." C1: ".... I'm glad we could have this little talk. these are perfect for my book! Thanks-a-million!

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I am the bookwyrm — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 18:14:57 -0500

Adopting: C1: What do you want? C2: World peace. A million dollars. A hot fudge sundae. One of those human-sized plastic hamster balls.

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Ophelianime — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 21:24:42 -0500

I'm taking the second one

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jade bear — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 21:56:19 -0500

I am leaving these: Ch1: "When you say it like that, it makes me sound like I'm crazy." Ch2: "Only sound like?" Ch1: "Could you make some noises, it's like doing it with a pillow." Ch2: "Well baby, you said you wanted to try role playing... So I'm pretending to be a pillow." Ch1: "So tell me the truth about (insert whatever is in question)." Ch2 (Replies with the truth) Ch1: "So you really need to tell me the truth." Ch2 repeats the truth. Ch1: "But really... You don't need to lie to me. You can tell me the truth." Ch2 groans.

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Madkatt — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 05:03:25 -0500

Some more from me, feel free to tweak. "And I thought things couldn't get any worse" "Sorry, my quota for stupid people has been filled for today. Try again when you develop some brains" "The last time you said 'hmm', we got arrested, so I think I reserve the right to know why you're going 'hmm'." Ohhh, let me turn on the part of my brain that gives a damn. C1 "Did you miss me?" C2 "Obviously. Wind must have thrown my aim off or something, I'm usually pretty good with a gun." "If you feel any pain, then let me know! I like to know I'm doing my job right." C1: "Are you insane?" C2: "I'm not insane! My Mother had me tested!" "Good Guy, Bad Guy. What matters is I'm the guy with the gun." "Do you think I'm stupid?" "Well I've had my suspicions."

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RemiMayier — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 09:03:50 -0500

I love your icon. Just thought you should know. /off topic post is off topic

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imaginepageant — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 09:29:09 -0500

Hah, I love the microwave one. Socking it away and hoping I can work it into my novel somehow.

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imaginepageant — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 09:31:28 -0500

Snagging the second one. Perfect for my FMC.

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imaginepageant — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 09:33:06 -0500

Snagging the first one! (And probably going to use it myself, next time that happens...)

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imaginepageant — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 09:42:37 -0500

These are great! Taking: "I was just wondering how you comb your hair so the horns don't show." "I haven't had my morning coffee so I'm finding it difficult to find a more colourful way to say I don't care." C1- Have you no conscience! C2 - Of course I do! It's in a little silver box at the back of my closet screaming, "Let me out, let me out! You're making bad choices!”

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imaginepageant — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 09:44:01 -0500

Sheldon! :D Taking: "Good Guy, Bad Guy. What matters is I'm the guy with the gun." Perfect for my antagonist.

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stephensdemise — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 11:12:01 -0500

Were you born this stupid, or did you have to work at it? I'm sorry. I don't recall asking your opinion. Kings aren't supposed to have common sense. It's too common. I'm not racist. I hate everybody equally. Your village called. Their idiot is missing. (saw this on a t-shirt) Why is it that my eyes glaze over every time you open your mouth? I'm sorry, you have to leave. This building isn't zoned for stupidity.

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Jade_the_witch — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 13:26:09 -0500

C1: Don't get smart with me! C2: Fine, I'll dumb it down for you. I used that on a guy at work and he just stood there trying to think of a comeback while I lol'd. Good times.

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Chyenna — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 13:44:14 -0500

I love you! They're all so hysterical!

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cayjay — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 15:44:02 -0500

What's life without a little adventure?" "Safe?" I LOVE this one! I can see where it can fit perfectly into my story! :D Thanks!

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AgentReyes — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 17:39:25 -0500

Taking that last one :)

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MonDieu — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 22:12:30 -0500

“Well this is much better than I expected!” You expected something worse than being tied to a bonfire? Certainly not! But I pictures myself alone!” I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles.

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Windstorm 124 — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 22:29:15 -0500

What a nice person you seem to be...

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Lexi.Gaire — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 23:15:55 -0500

Seconded.

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spookofnight — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 04:00:38 -0500

Taking the last one!

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spookofnight — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 04:05:16 -0500

Leaving: "I don't know what's more questionable; his morals, or his sanity." "When I say jump, you say?" "Off a bridge." "You know, I couldn't believe I'd died at first. I went to the bottom of a lake and sat there, just to see if I would drown. You know what happened?" "What?" "Diddlysquat."

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Madkatt — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 07:54:30 -0500

I'm not sure which of these are mine or which of these are from previous Nano's. C1 "Good morning (C2)" C2 *With a sigh* "I see my assasin failed to kill you again" "Oh, come on, can't you come up with an original way to kill me?" "What are you trying to do, talk me to death?" "I was born a pessimist. My blood type is B negative." C1: Are you crazy? C2: I wouldn't say crazy. Maybe an eccentric who looks good in jeans "Really? That's all you could come up with? I would have figured you'd be a bit more creative than that. But I guess I overestimated your intelligence." "I tried being good once. Most boring thirty seconds of my life." I do not have an attitude problem. I have an attitude, but you're the one that seems to have a problem with it!" Ask a silly person, get a silly answer. He bragged, "I've got a mind like a steel trap!" She whispered to me, "Yeah, rusty and illegal in 37 states." He is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. "I never did like you" "Yeah, well the feelings mutual" C1 "We need some rope C2, can you go find some" after C2 has gone C3 "I don't remember the plan involving rope" C1 "It doesn't, but did you really want that idiot to come with us?"

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Azzandra — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 10:18:00 -0500

"Darlin', you ain't half as smart as you think, and I ain't half as dumb as I look."

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Chanit_Henellia — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 11:19:51 -0500

That... is awesome. xD

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meggie358 — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 12:21:27 -0500

Ch1: "When you say it like that, it makes me sound like I'm crazy." Ch2: "Only sound like?" HAHA FUNNY! ADOPTING! THANKS!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

meggie358 — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 12:23:45 -0500

I'm sorry. I don't recall asking your opinion. Were you born this stupid, or did you have to work at it? LOVE THESE! thank you!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

meggie358 — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 12:24:36 -0500

C1: Don't get smart with me! C2: Fine, I'll dumb it down for you. LOL! Adopting! Thanks!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

meggie358 — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 12:26:36 -0500

"I was born a pessimist. My blood type is B negative." LOVE IT! THANKS! =D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Sayaren — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 23:30:23 -0500

My friends did this in a gaming session. It was something along the lines of: "Why is this happening?" (a bunch of strong enemy monsters showed up) "Because, Jimmy, God is pissed!" I'm so glad this thread is back! It's one of my favorites! :) I'll probably have a few more lines later, but I thought I'd share this one.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Dennis Dunjinman — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 23:36:06 -0500

"Good evening, ladies and germs. And lady with germ." *motions to weird, grinning woman in the back carrying a Giant Microbe toy* I've been carrying around my Giant E. Coli, and this line just came to me.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

MaggieSticker — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 01:12:04 -0500

Oh man, this thread makes me laugh every time!! C1 talking or complaining about something to C2 C2 starts looking around for something, not paying attention to C1 C!: What are you doing, I'm trying to talk to you! C2: Isn't it obvious? I'm looking for a shit to give. the original had stronger curse words though... lol

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

wingch — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 09:37:33 -0500

There are times where I think you're the smarteste person in the world, and there are times when I'm sober...

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

wingch — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 09:41:44 -0500

Guy at Customer Service: May I help you? C1: Yes, I'd like a hamburger, a Sprite, and a small thing of fries Guy at CS: Sorry? C1: (repeats) Guy at CS: I'm sorry... we can't help you here. C1: Oh - so this is because I'm (insert minority). You know, (minorities) are people too, you know. *walks away crying* "You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me. " "He who laughs last, thinks slowest." C1: I blame myself for everything! C2: Don't blame yourself. Leave that to me.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Cecile_Bouquet — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 10:18:36 -0500

"I don't know what's more questionable; his morals, or his sanity." omg, this one is perfect for one of my characters! Thank you <3

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Kerantli — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 10:55:59 -0500

taking for my MC and her roomie

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Kerantli — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 11:31:45 -0500

I had a great plot worm bury into my head with that

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

cindy9712 — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 11:48:16 -0500

Adopting "Crayons", "Sense of Humour" and the three-liner.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Blarfkey — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 12:16:19 -0500

"I had a dead body and I didn't know what to do with it! Apparently throwing a dead body out of the window is littering in excess."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

lycaenide — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 13:00:51 -0500

Adopting 'If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong." That one's great!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

riddikulus-grin — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 15:28:10 -0500

These remind me of the kind of wit Iin Derek Landy novels (Skulduggery Pleasant). Taking the "pretty good one".

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

quietly-making-noise — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 16:41:15 -0500

Snagging the one about combing your hair so the horns don't show xD A historical contribution: Irritated FC: "Sir, if I were your wife, I would poison your wine." MC: "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

quietly-making-noise — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 16:41:58 -0500

... original (c) Winston Churchil and friend(?), sorry, forgot my source. Carry on..!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

iLove — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 17:04:15 -0500

Leaving a couple here, anyone can have at them. C1: *Reading* C2: Well, he just sort of gave me that angry kind of surprised look, with his eyes all bugging out and his eyebrows raised, like--okay, so you know how at the end of that book, the main character dies? C1: WHAT?!? C2: THAT'S the one! I heard that some idiot had taken the wrong bag at the airport. But then I found out it was me... C1: How could you say that? C2: It's easy, my vocal chords vibrate and my mouth and tongue anunciate! I can do it without even thinking!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

crazygirl9310 — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 18:35:47 -0500

also adopting the second line

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Kahol — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 03:12:32 -0500

C1: *mumbling to themselves* C2: People will think you're crazy when you talk to yourself. C1: Just, shut up. C2: Oh, I wasn't talking to you. C1: Did you know, that some people consider glitter as another form of herpes? C2: Oh, so that's why the vampires sparkle. "Well excuse me, sexless man woman" ~ MST3K

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Madkatt — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 03:52:16 -0500

I steal loads from this thread every year :) Some more from my notebooks “It’s complicated…” “Talk slowly!” (Good for a character who cares about their appearence) "You'll have to excuse C1's attitude, S/He’s a little upset, s/he misses his/her wardrobe." C1 "You have to trust me" C2 "Now that is a risky proposition." "I can’t watch your back if I can’t see it" C1 "There you are! Thought I'd lost you." C2 "I know, for a short while I thought I had suceeded" C1 "I'm not appearing in public with you if you insist on wearing that." C2 "Whats wrong with my outfit?" C1 "For a start you need sunglasses just to look at you." C1 "Whats wrong with you/me?" C2 "You want a list?"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Awy — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 04:21:10 -0500

The love/hate sentence fits so well into my novel that it's almost scary. Most certainly adopting it!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

manning_chase — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 05:41:12 -0500

Adopting the shirtless one-that's brilliant!!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

i heart manga89 — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 07:06:36 -0500

FC1: "It's a official, all the hot ones are evil." C1: "What happened?" C2: Well, I was bored..." C1: "well that never ends well."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Tooterfish — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 09:03:39 -0500

Bahahaha I'm taking all of these!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Tooterfish — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 09:08:58 -0500

Taking these for my android!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Xyanoid — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 10:28:58 -0500

I'm taking the fourth one~

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Embersfire — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 10:37:44 -0500

Family funeral, the two remaining siblings of the main participant are sitting together. Finally, to break the silence, the old lady leans across to her brother. 'Well, John, that just leaves thee and me.' She pauses, gazing at his old, weather beaten face, 'and thee don't look too good.'

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Harriet12_3 — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 16:49:47 -0500

I am so taking this one. Love too much not to use it. Thank you!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Harriet12_3 — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 16:51:52 -0500

Actually meant to reply to dssmith, my bad.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

just.another.unique.mind — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 19:35:40 -0500

"The only reason I'm protecting you is because your very rich father is paying me to do so. If your step-mother were in charge of the accounts, I could very well be ending your life instead of saving it. Now shut up and let me do my job."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

loracarol — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 20:24:03 -0500

[after throwing something at someone else] I didn't throw anything at you- I just drop it. Horizontally.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

loracarol — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 20:24:42 -0500

"dropped", not "drop". CURSE YOU LACK OF EDITING! :D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Fractured_Chaos — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 21:32:53 -0500

Guy:L Your butt's so big it has a gravitational pull all its own. Girl: (w/o missing a beat) That explains why so many men are attracted to it. You're so skinny, if you stood sideways and stuck out your tongue, you'd look like a zipper. You're so skinny, if you stood sideways and got a woody, you'd look like a bumper jack You're so skinny, we need to tattoo an anchor on your ass to keep the wind from blowing you away.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 21:35:58 -0500

"I would explain it to you, but I am fresh out of crayons." This is just the sort of thing my MMC would say... Taking!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 21:39:36 -0500

Taking the first and last ones. Just brilliant!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

MissElizabethBennet — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 23:43:01 -0500

C1: What do you think you were doing, you could have killed me! C2: Nah, Dreams don't come true these days.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

versimilitude — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 23:55:53 -0500

I love your first one! I'm going to take it, if only to use as inspiration.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Kishi-keahi — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 00:04:47 -0500

Stealing but tweaking: C1: "There you are! Thought I'd lost you." C2 "I know, for a short while I thought I had suceeded" This might just work on the scene im struggling in where my MC's ex shows up!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Kishi-keahi — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 00:10:58 -0500

Leaving: C1: I thought I'd never see you again. C2: And that would've been a bad thing?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

person_person — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 01:50:54 -0500

C1: To a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. C2: Well I'm a pessimist, so all our problems are looking like screws. If living was easy, everyone would do it. (Eh...they make sense in my head.)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

hallidays — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 05:14:33 -0500

Adopting the "you're not dead" one, thanks!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

MollyRosey — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 15:17:34 -0500

These are things said me and friends :) C1: I did not walk into a door! C2: How did you get the bruise on your head. C1: (pause) The door walked into me? C1: Glad to see somebody else is up at ridiculous times like me C2: Yeah I get up at half 6 to shower otherwise I cant have one. C1: Woah! I have one at the same time! We are like shower buddies. Actually that sounds wrong. C2- What are you getting C3 for christmas? C3- Yeah what are you getting me? C1- I aren't telling you! I will text you, C2. C2- Ok C1- Shit! C2- What? C1- I sent it to C3... C2: Urgh that bloody maths teacher! C1: Who? C2: The tall woman? C1: Who? C2: Long blonde hair? C1: No doesn't sound familiar. C2: Looks a bit deformed? C1: Oh yeah! (This is a really long one and I hope you find it as funny as we did C1 is a girl, C2 is a boy, C3 is a boy, and C4 is C3's girlfriend!) C1: I cant believe this has happened! Will will have to tell C2! C3: Okay, but only if he agree's to come into the vault. C2: (walks in with impeccable timing) Hey you two, what's up! C1: Well, we have something to tell you, but only if you come into the vault. C2: Okay just tell me! C1: Your sister is dating (insert a bad influence here) C2: I have to break them up! C3: You can't because you agreed to be in the vault! C2: Well let me out of the vault! C1: You can't because it is locked. C2: Well find the key C3: We lost the key. C2: LET ME OUT OF THE FLIPPIN' VAULT!!!! C4: (Runs in interested) There is a vault conversation and you didn't invite me! C1: I wanted to but C3 said we needed a mans opinion. C2: If you ever involve me in a vault conversation again I will not hesitate to kill you. C4: I am in the vault now tell me! C3: C2's sister is dating (le bad influence) C4: Ah. I am going to walk over to that wall, throw my head against it, and hope that I forget this horrible incident. And that was my ridiculously long real life quote. I am also sorry to say that I am C1 in every one of these. Yes I am a but of an idiot xD

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

ShinyRaikou — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 15:48:58 -0500

C1-You thinking what I'm thinking? C2- Marsmallow death match! C1- What's wrong with you?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

soccernines — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 20:38:23 -0500

omg. these are great!!! i'm taking the shooting star one, the one where C1 coodve shot the one guy in the face, and the wrong impression one. they all fit great with my story!!! <3 thanx!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

soccernines — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 20:41:24 -0500

this is awsome. using it for my NaNo=yes!!!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

soccernines — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 20:57:07 -0500

o.m.g. these are great. i am taking about half of them, lol. i especially like the one about the giant hamster ball and the mind full of filth is endlessly entertainling! pure geniousness! =D!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Azzandra — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 10:51:03 -0500

C1: You left them alone? They'll kill each other! C2: Well, that saves me the trouble.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Sawyer — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 18:04:26 -0500

Taking a lot of these! THANK YOU! They're so funny.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

CarlieD — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 18:25:26 -0500

I am taking this one. I have a perfectionist, overachieving FMC and a socially-awkward MMC who doesn't read social cues very well. I can totally see Ciaran missing the sarcasm in that line and being totally honest with his reply.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

geeelouise — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:17:14 -0500

I love that first one, perfect for one of my characters. thank you!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

blackkeysonly — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:26:15 -0500

Just wanted to say... I love your picture. Death Note for the win.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

necropolitician — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 20:03:52 -0500

Oh wow, that ammunition line was mine. :) Now I feel all warm and fuzzy. :D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

necropolitician — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 20:09:13 -0500

When I go boyfriend hunting, I pack heat.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

AndreaMuse — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 21:30:48 -0500

I had to admit, the forum wipe had me sad since I had like thirty different lines in here, but then I saw your post and boom. The Blood Type was mine! :D I feel fuzzy inside! This is why I love Nano, someone always remembers.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Drohd-b — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 21:55:06 -0500

lol this is perfect for a non-nano project i've been working on! stealing!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

music19 — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 22:04:24 -0500

Totally taking the one about having a sense of humor and getting run over. It fits into my story perfectly.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

AndreaMuse — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 22:08:52 -0500

Reposting some old ones I put up last year. I didn't save any, so it's all to memory. x_x ~"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese." ~"Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?" ~"Isn't it scary what doctors call what they do practice?" ~"A flashlight is a case for dead batteries." ~"I was born a pessimist. My blood type is B negative." ~"I like my woman the way I like my coffee. Cold and bitter." ~"I like my men the way I like my coffee. Stuffed in the freezer." ~"If a person who multiple personalities threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?" For the life of me, that's all I remember. New ones and possibly someone's old ones. ~Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will just cause me permanent psychological damage. ~What do we have to lose? Our lives? We got those for free anyway. ~It’s not really a sacrifice if you want to give it up. ~Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh. ~Aren't you a little old for a midlife crisis? ~Love without gyration is love without emotion. ~You do good for good's sake. My God would be proud of you. ~That was written by a forty-something-year-old, too. Granted, she smokes a lot of weed, but that's no excuse for illiteracy.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Madkatt — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 22:09:43 -0500

I feel the same. It always makes me feel so good when I see someones reposted one of my lines from last year. :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Chillibean — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 01:06:56 -0500

Taking! =D My MC is a thief-turned-Liar who probably doesn't know the meaning of neatness if it slapped him in the face. My other MC is an aristocrat. This is perfect :) Thank you!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

mycatduncan — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 01:29:42 -0500

Let me set the scene here: three characters are debating on [insert topic, it can be pretty much anything] while eating a cafeteria lunch. C1: "We should do it [method]." C2: "What's the worst that can happen, right? [Character] can't say no, right?" C3: "This IS chicken, right? Because it just moved and I ain't touched it." This is based off something my friend told me after eating lunch at a cafeteria. She swore her lunch was living. Anyway, it probably doesn't fit in a lot of places, but I used it for a short story once and it turned out pretty funny.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Florida Karma — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 10:44:20 -0500

"You're so luck you don't have any balls for me to kick you in." Perfect for my FMC to say to the wimpy MMC!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

soccernines — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 13:26:44 -0500

love this, and totally using it. =)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

soccernines — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 13:39:13 -0500

lol. my characters r really sarcasttic and perfect for this line. stealing!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Preziös Fränze — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 13:39:28 -0500

Brilliant lines there. :) My hands are poised to steal them. :D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Preziös Fränze — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 13:55:48 -0500

Giving my a few of my own: C1: "She's rich enough to buy your soul. If she offers to do so, name your price." C2: "Like hell I'll allow that!" C1: "Do it. Or she'll take you soul with a bullet." -------- "There are people born in this world for the sole purpose of being hated. You're one of them." -------- "I have appreciated your presence long enough. Now go." -------- "I know that laugh. It means you're thinking of things that would make parents clap their hands over their children's eyes." -------- "I'd like to offer you my sympathies, but I'm far too busy laughing."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

soccernines — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 14:02:27 -0500

C1: What's going on?!? C2: Rainbow unicorns are attacking the planet. What else would be 'going on'?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

I am the bookwyrm — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 16:56:51 -0500

Taking: "I'd like to offer you my sympathies, but I'm far too busy laughing." ~Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will just cause me permanent psychological damage. ~"Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?" ~"Isn't it scary what doctors call what they do practice?"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

K.A.Lyons — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 18:00:55 -0500

Adopting 1 and 2. Thank you.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Chillibean — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 00:45:48 -0500

Also taking "I don't know what's more questionable; his morals, or his sanity." It also fits brilliantly... well... depends on who's speaking :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

pastmeetspresent — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 04:27:44 -0500

MC:So what happens now? V: Well, if memory serves me correctly, this is the part where I shoot you. Repeatedly. In the back of the skull.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

didreams — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 05:04:59 -0500

"What's the point in being two-faced if they're both ugly?"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Cherri — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 09:41:05 -0500

I'm going to have to adopt a few of these, as they're awesome. ^^ Thanks for sharing. "[Name] is the most evil human being on the planet, and may, in fact, be Satan himself." - To introduce one of my MC's flatmates. In a friendly way, mind you. "He's like a hormonal teenage girl in a man suit when he gets his feelings hurt." "Can someone please diffuse the sexual tension in here?"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

HecticZ — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 10:43:04 -0500

I'm taking so many that I can't be bothered listing them all, thank you :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Feliciia Winters — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 19:38:48 -0500

"Welcome home. Explore. Knock yourself out. Please note that that is a figure of speech and that it would really suck for me if you managed to beat yourself unconscious whilst doing something." I'm taking that one and probably about a million more, but I haven't decided which ones yet.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Cephalopodesque — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 20:31:11 -0500

Leaving: "There comes a time when you just have to cut your moral losses and shoot someone in the head." "… What morals?" "This won't hurt a bit." "OW!" "Told you. Hurts like hell, doesn't it?" "That's awful! I mean, it's hilarious, but awful!" "You tortured them to death, didn't you?" "Er… I may have." "See, this is why no one likes you!"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

contagonistlove — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 21:03:02 -0500

"I do have a sense of humour. For example, I'd laugh hysterically if you got run over." Taking and tweaking. Thank you! :D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

NerdlyLindsey — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 21:15:11 -0500

"If I can't look pretty I might as well be intoxicated!" (This was said in real life and made me laugh so hard, tell me if you use it!)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

AndreaMuse — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 21:19:55 -0500

Definitely taking! :D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

bloodkissed — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 00:21:58 -0500

"Now, I do not believe that a man should have to go around armed all the time. I do not carry a gun all the time, that would just be the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard of!" "You carrying the Beretta today, right?" "Yes."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

mals86 — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 11:10:07 -0500

Adopting the first one and tweaking just a bit for my FMC, who struggles with anxiety disorder but is trying to keep a sense of humor about it. Perfect, perfect... thanks.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

liliaevermore — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 11:58:56 -0500

C1: *ranting about something* Hey, are you even listening? C2: (you could put pretty much anything here but here are a few of my suggestions): C2: I just realised...I have FEET. C2: Do you know, there's a sale on at DFS! C2: It's just come to me that my inner voice sounds a lot like Michael Caine on happy drugs. AND MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE (I came up with all of these btw :)) C2: Now, listening, that is an extremely subjective term. The exact definition of the active verb 'to listen' was first explored by.. *C1 hits him* Ow, that hurt! C1: Now, hurting, that is an extremely subjective term. The exact definition of the active verb 'to be hurt' was first explored by ME, with my frying pan. Guess who's going to be my guinea pig if they don't listen to me? C2: *sighs* Fine, you win. C1: *smiles* What did you think was going to happen, dumbass? I have a frying pan! :D Kara x

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

vampyre_smiles — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 13:36:17 -0500

"You tortured them to death, didn't you?" "Er… I may have." "See, this is why no one likes you!" ^That second line sounds like my vampire. He'd have a giant grin while saying it.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

canary888 — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 14:55:15 -0500

Adopting second one. Thanx!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

thelemonadebandit — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 15:31:15 -0500

I don't think I can use this sassy bit of dialogue from my characters, after all... so here you go. C1: "When was the last time you brushed your hair?" C2: "When was the last time you had a rational thought?" C1: "At least I bathe." C2: "Yeah. In the tears of children."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

canary888 — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 16:10:25 -0500

Perfect for one of my characters. Thanks!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Dragoncharmer — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 21:53:34 -0500

There was no need to clarify my finger snap. The implication was clear in the snap itself. Are you crazy? Why, yes! What gave it away? Have you lost it? Sweetheart, saying I’ve lost it implies I’ve had it at one point. Go to hell! I’ll see you there. What? What what? Why are you staring at me? That isn’t a ‘what’ question. She was doing it again. Girls, girls. You're both pretty. Can I go home now?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

ClumsyLittleHeart — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 21:56:37 -0500

I'll just adopt the second one.. :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

ClumsyLittleHeart — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 22:00:47 -0500

I'm just going to adopt these ones. (: "I thought about being sane. This seemed like more fun." 1: Are you talking to yourself? 2: I was until you interrupted. C1: [growls] I'm going to kill you. C2: [coos] Aww. Your struggle to hide your deep affection does wonders for my ego!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

moiraking — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 22:46:10 -0500

ooh I love these I've collected hundreds tons! Lets see these are my favorites... 1. I'm glad to see you're education isn't getting in the way of your stupidity 2. How about never? Is never good for you? 3. Sorry, I wasn't listening. I was trying to imagine you with a personality. 4. I'm busy. Can I ignore you another time? 5. Just keep right on talking. Something intelligent is bound to come out of that mouth of yours sooner or later. 6. Sure, I'll help you out, now which way did you come in again? 7. I'd love to agree with you but then we'd both be wrong. 8. Who left your cage open? 9. If you stand right next to him you can hear the ocean. 10. Leaving already? I was just about to poison the tea. 11. Sorry, I don't talk to animals. 12. I've met people like you before but I've always had to pay admission. 13. I know that you're lying. You're lips are moving." 14. Now imagine if he had enough oxygen at birth 15. Are your parents siblings? 16. I never forget a face... unfortunately. 17. You're not stupid! You're just... possessed by retarded ghost... 18. I thought I understood evolution, but then I met you. 19. Do you think if I pretend to throw a stick he'll spend the rest of the night looking for it? 20. I thought the night couldn't get any wore, but then you walked in "Please, Lord, give me a chance to prove that winning the lottery won't change me." "I've changed my mind." "Good! Maybe this one will work this time." "There's something about nature I just love." "Despite what it did to you?" And finally the one I like to you on my dad: I'd love to see your point but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass...

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

SquirrelWizard — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 22:56:41 -0500

C1: "You people keep talking and I can't get a word in edgewise!" C2: "Well, there is your problem. You don't use words for their edge, you use them to make a point."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

megameg — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 23:14:42 -0500

Taking the Run over one for the Dictator to my MC :D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

The_Seventh_Sage — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 07:44:20 -0500

The crayon one actually made me chuckle :P.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

dragonKhorse — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 08:11:48 -0500

"Unlike my real grandchildren, I can't take their kidneys." "Why'd you exchange your six pack for a family pack?" "You drugged him and posed him like an action figure, didn't you?" "Why hello there! Here to take another child from me?"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Tonksonthetardis — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 18:37:53 -0500

Taking! it's perfect!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Tonksonthetardis — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 18:38:20 -0500

Last one! :D LOVE IT!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Tonksonthetardis — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 18:40:17 -0500

I'm adopting the crayon one :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Tonksonthetardis — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 18:44:21 -0500

I'm just going to save ALL of these :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

MusicalRaven — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 19:09:52 -0500

Taking: Any part of you that touches me you're not getting back. "You don't make me laugh. You make me want to shoot something, and then laugh." "I haven't had my morning coffee so I'm finding it difficult to find a more colourful way to say I don't care." "If you ever do want to know my opinion, rest assured it will always be that you're an incredible pain."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

MusicalRaven — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 19:12:19 -0500

Also taking: "Good Guy, Bad Guy. What matters is I'm the guy with the gun." For my detective, strangly enough.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

MusicalRaven — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 19:15:04 -0500

C1: Are you crazy? C2: I wouldn't say crazy. Maybe an eccentric who looks good in jeans Gus ans Shawn crack me up. *Grins*

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

curioustreemochild — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 19:17:54 -0500

If I had a dollar for everytime you (beat a drunk guy up in a bar), I'd get change for those dollars, put the change in a sock, and beat you with it." I think I'll be taking that one :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

moiraking — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 19:32:06 -0500

Ha! this reminds me of... "if you're going to be two-faced could you at least make one of them pretty?"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

CatOfManyWhiskers — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 19:46:34 -0500

"Why yes, I would love to plunge off a fifty-foot cliff, keeping in mind I am trusting only the word of a self-proclaimed embodiment of unpredictability that I will NOT splat into a little grease stain at the bottom." "Tell me again. Sloooooooooooo-" (five minutes later) "-oooooooowly. Ok, no don't I already took up too much time." (Actual conversation) P1: Your FACE is a dog's butt! P2: ...If my face is a dog's butt, you don't want to know what yours it. Seriously. "Oh look. A (insert unbelievable animal here). How charming."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

MusicalRaven — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 20:02:44 -0500

Tweaking a bit. More of an annoyed banter between partners (as in police) if you will.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

The Peahen — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 20:48:40 -0500

A nice way to insult to characters at once Tell me, is your face always like that or is just because you're next to ________

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

MarzipanManson — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 21:07:31 -0500

"You are more irrational than pi."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

aktersnurran — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 21:10:23 -0500

"ARE YOU SHAVING IN MY SHOWER?" "Oh no, just making sausages out of my leg. Raw or cooked?"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

wovenshadow — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 22:52:32 -0500

Snagging the three-liner too, it's perfect!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Tooterfish — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 23:19:33 -0500

What? What what? Why are you staring at me? That isn’t a ‘what’ question. LOL taking. :3

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

HNRiff — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 00:27:44 -0500

The "sense of humor" one is perfect! Thank you!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Perse_Rising — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 03:06:36 -0500

"Nice ego. Do you polish it in the morning by kissing yourself in the mirror?"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

the-lonely-angel — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 05:37:15 -0500

[quote=quietly-making-noise] ... original (c) Winston Churchil and friend(?), sorry, forgot my source. Carry on..! [/quote] The friend was Lady Astor. ^^ Lovely couple.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

tyburn_cross — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 07:34:50 -0500

C1 - I've not had that much fun since that little prank we pulled in Belfast. C2 - Yes . . . sticking your head round the door of the most staunchly Catholic pub in the whole of Ireland and shouting 'eff the Pope begorrah!' isn't a prank. It's inciting a riot.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

mycandlemelted — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 10:59:37 -0500

[quote=MarzipanManson] "You are more irrational than pi." [/quote] [quote=Perse_Rising] "Nice ego. Do you polish it in the morning by kissing yourself in the mirror?" [/quote] I'm taking both of these! Thanks guys I'll leave these: "What if that piece of cake on the table accidentally fell into my mouth?" C1: "Dude, isn't that crazy?" C2: "Sure." C1: "Seriously?" C2: "I don't know man. Personally, I'm still amazed Sarah Palin can blink without closing both eyes." "How are we supposed to be happy? That man didn't even GIVE us the phone number." -originally my dad, after he heard Bob Marley's song "Don't Worry Be Happy."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Deadly off Topic — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 11:23:17 -0500

Me too.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

readrider — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:19:37 -0500

C1: *drops a very important/precious/crucial item accidentally* C2: What the hell we might never be able to defeat Villain now you clumsy oaf how could you *general rant* C3/1: At least we know gravity still works. Adapted from real life.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Cinderpaw — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:29:09 -0500

Can I have the "Are you talking to yourself?" one? Because it would fit perfectly into my story! :D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Cinderpaw — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:46:25 -0500

C1: How could you say that? C2: It's easy, my vocal chords vibrate and my mouth and tongue anunciate! I can do it without even thinking! Adopted by me! Yeah!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Feliciia Winters — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 19:17:15 -0500

So, I'm taking so many, I'm not going to bother telling which are which. So I'm leaving something that occured between me and my sister, but yes, I did pull the scarasm ilne from here. C1: (insert something really sarcastic) C2: You know, some say that sarcasm is the refuge of a shallow mind. C1: No, actually sarcasm is a way to insult idiots without them realizing it.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Tamisin Flame — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 21:42:56 -0500

Hmm... "There's a unicorn behind you. Back away veryyyy verryyyy slowwwyyy. Wait! Noooooooo...I meant move forward...ouch. That looks like it hurt." Person 1: We're going to a magical world through this door. Person 2: Cool. Is it a magic door? Person 1: Yep. Person 2: How so? Person 1: Well...um...it has wings. Person 2: Seriously? Person 1: No. It's just a door. "I don't suppose you would know how to remove a package of freeze-dried potatoes coated in super glue from the engine of my car?" Person 1: I've been thinking. What happens if I press this button? Person 2: The icecaps will melt, all the forests will burn, the sun will explode, and I'll throw a sandwich at you. Person 1: Really? Person 2: No, it just turns on the TV.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Perse_Rising — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 03:50:59 -0500

*Ch1 is holding Ch2 at gunpoint, and is leafing through a PDA or something with one hand* Ch1: Let's see... Goes by (Alias), age, (age), gender, (gender), birthdate, (mm/dd/yy), true name, (true name) [REDACTED] [REDACTED] *pauses* What the hell? What kind of sociopath names their child-?! Ch2: *bolts* Ch1: *does a double-take* Hey, get back here! I demand to know why your parents named you [REDACTED]! *gives chase* Cookies if you know what inspired this joke ^___^

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Drohd-b — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 16:07:55 -0500

lol! trying desperately to find somewhere to use this line!!!!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Camilalee — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 17:16:56 -0500

C1: I thought you were going to do some more gardening. C2: Yeah, but it started raining. C1: The plot thickens!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Aimless Ambivalence — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 17:45:33 -0500

“You wanna fight?” “Don’t tease me. I’ve wanted to fight you since the minute I saw you. If you don't punch me in the next thirty seconds I will be incredibly let down.”

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

isis_athena — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 20:10:57 -0500

I am snagging all of then, the middle 3 I already have people to say them, but the others are too funny to leave behind. Leaving: C1: I know I am simply too brilliant for words, but close your mouth before the frogs jump in. C2: I thought it was flies. C1: Your mouth is too big for it to simply be flies.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

isis_athena — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 20:17:13 -0500

Adopting that last one, I have a crazy neighbor who needs to do some strange stuff.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

isis_athena — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 20:18:22 -0500

Wow this is awesome, don't know who will say it but it will get said. Leaving: "Wow sometimes the amount of intelligence you commonly show me astounds me." Bonus points if the character they are talking to says thanks.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

isis_athena — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 20:44:43 -0500

I am not going to write down which ones I'm stealing because I am taking most so thank you. Leaving: "Men are like kleenex, cheap and disposable." MC: "Wow, are you an angel in disguise" FC: "If I was I would smite you." C1: Can you be any more of an idiot. C2: Yep, I am just that special. C1: Do you have a candlestick? C2: No why? C1: Damn, because you are pissing me off. C2: Excuse me? C1: I was about to call you Mr. Body, and consider myself Ms. Scarlett in the library with the candlestick.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

ELOAgent — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 21:54:07 -0500

Taking: C1: "Stop acting so oblivious." C2: "Ah, so that's the word. I usually consider myself as an absent minded bad ass." "There are people born in this world for the sole purpose of being hated. You're one of them." Leaving: Are you always this egotistic or did you wake up this morning with a sign glued to your forehead that screamed, 'I'm too stupid to not kiss my reflection?'" "Good for you. Two plus two."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

isis_athena — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 22:23:10 -0500

Wow this is perfect for my two deputies. One is an idiot and one is sarcastic, you get to figure out who says what.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

isis_athena — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 22:32:30 -0500

Thank you stealing perfect for my sarcastic deputy. Leaving: "What the hell, were dropped on your head as child? Frequently?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

isis_athena — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 22:37:35 -0500

My poor customer service rep, would totally not be listening to someone ranting, this is perfect. I especially like the Michael Caine one. Thank you. Leaving: C1: The world is ending and I am a virgin. C2: How sad, just think up there is some guy waiting for you and 41 others. (A little dark so sue me)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

StrawberryCheesecake — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 22:45:46 -0500

Hahaha! There are so many I want to use! I don't even know which ones right now! Since I'll probably be taking so many, I'm leaving (sorry, most of them aren't very good :S): C1: Are you a decisive person? C2:I could make this ironic... C1: My middle name is nobody C2: so? C1:Obiously, I am perfect. C1: Do you want your coffee black? C2:Can I have it purple? C1:How old are you?! C2: Well, old enough so that when I was in school, history class was "current affairs" C1:Will you tell me you love me? C2:You love me.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

isis_athena — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 22:47:17 -0500

I literally have no place for this, but I so want to use it. This is hilarious. One of the funniest yet. Leaving: "If you are calling to talk to me then I am away from the phone right now and since I have a life I do not know when I will return your call. Theoretically I'll get to it eventually, but don't expect miracles. However if this is my stalker then you already know where I am at so remember the distance on your restraining order.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

isis_athena — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 22:52:05 -0500

Stealing : C1: Do you want your coffee black? C2:Can I have it purple? Leaving: C1: Its the end of the world . . . C2: If you ask me to have sex, the end of your world is happening sooner than anticipated. (Bonus points if you get what inspired this)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

JStipe14 — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 02:30:46 -0500

Adopting: "Wow sometimes the amount of intelligence you commonly show me astounds me."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Rainwolf — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 06:30:01 -0500

"This coffee isn't strong enough for the amount of fucks I need to give."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Juliett — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 12:40:50 -0500

Taking a whole slew, leaving: You're not as objectionable as you seem to be, are you? How about never? Is never good for you? Oh, I get it. It's very clever. How's that working out for you? I don't ever want to hear about that night. It was a horrible idea.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Feliciia Winters — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 17:48:16 -0500

Leaving: I don't obsess! I think intensely! I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse. The only reason I'm here is because heaven wouldn't have me and hell was afraid I'd take over. He who laughs last thinks slowest. I can take credit for none of these.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

ModestTreasure252 — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 00:13:18 -0500

"Dogma" by any chance?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

ModestTreasure252 — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 00:15:41 -0500

I heard this in real life conversation and had to post it! (*Character 1 and Character 2 are married. Character 1 was hugging Character 2 tightly--Character 2 sitting at the computer--until Character 1 farted. Character 2 broke free from Character 1*). Character 1: I was just trying to love on you. Character 2: No, you were trying to hold me down!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

GoldThorn — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 04:19:31 -0500

Men are like nappies ... Hard to Change and full of shit!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

_lunalongbottom — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 04:20:19 -0500

Not gonna say which one's I'm adopting because I'm pretty much taking most of them :P

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

pokerowan — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 04:20:56 -0500

3rd-ed. (That's not a word.)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Parlanchina — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 08:58:50 -0500

'Excuse me, I'm just going to go find someone sane...'

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Parlanchina — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 09:08:11 -0500

*laughs* i've been giggling about that for about five minutes - disturbingly it sounds like something i'd say :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Parlanchina — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 09:12:57 -0500

I also like C1: Sir, you are drunk! C2: Yes, madam, but tomorrow I will be sober, and you will still be ugly! which i think was also them

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

ReadySetWrite — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 10:30:21 -0500

4th-ed

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

JimMyJaZzCG — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 15:13:47 -0500

I`ll adopt the second one

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

treehiller23 — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 16:47:13 -0500

"And how should I say I came about this information? Divined it from a bowl of Foot Loops?!"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

nerinne — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 18:52:31 -0500

"You're just angry I get sexually zergrushed wherever I go."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

crownoflaurel — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 19:21:28 -0500

I've always liked this one. C1: "I knew it wasn't a good idea, I just didn't get why I should care. No one has fun doing things that are 'good ideas'." C2: "And therefore you are a brilliant, creative person who's also brave and should be worshipped for life and made into a god, etc." C1: "How did you know I was going to say that?" C2: "You're just a little predictable."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

tophness — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 19:37:27 -0500

I too am also gonna be taking so much of these, that I can't list them.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Arbalest — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 20:15:01 -0500

Taking many, leaving this: C1: Okay, you're smarter than you look, but still not as smart as you act. C2: Either way, I'm smarter than you.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

MusicalRaven — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 01:13:12 -0500

"The only reason I'm here is because heaven wouldn't have me and hell was afraid I'd take over." Gotta be supernatural.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

starryskies — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 05:49:41 -0500

Taking oh so many... leaving: C1: I'm confused. C2: I'm (insert c2 name here). Nice to meet your acquaintance.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

ChanDeere — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 07:40:31 -0500

Taking and tweaking the first one (he could have killed you...), 'cause I love it! I'll have to write a whole extra scene to put it in but it deserves that. C1: (as a pickup line) So, want to marry me? C2: Do you have friends that would shop from a Tiffany's registry?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

boosh — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 08:25:07 -0500

Pretty much all my characters are comedians so this is the perfect topic for me! Thank you guys. I'll be back with some of my own stuff at some point.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Marichosa — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 08:40:24 -0500

*Casually adopts*

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Marichosa — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 08:52:16 -0500

I'm determined to somehow use this.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

pbody_adams — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 07:30:41 -0500

Using the "Do-not-disturb" one and the "Sense of humour" one. :D Thanks~

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Kade Estella — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 07:52:22 -0500

Adopting for my half demon MC and his trainer XD

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

R.Watson — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 08:23:17 -0500

Taking the congratulations 3 liner. Perfect, thanks!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Kade Estella — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 08:27:22 -0500

Omg stealing the first one!!!! It is perfect for my FMC who was dating the main villian :D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

R.Watson — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 08:38:30 -0500

"Any part of you that touches me you're not getting back ." "You're SO lucky you don't have any balls for me to kick you in." Adopting! Thanks.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Toirse — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 09:46:18 -0500

I am taking: "Are you always this egotistic or did you wake up this morning with a sign glued to your forehead that screamed, 'I'm too stupid to not kiss my reflection?'" It is just perfect for my MC and one of the very unimportant side characters. *rubs hands in excitement*

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

sarmorrow — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 09:51:25 -0500

[quote=Blueocean] "You have the attention span of a goldfish with Alzheimer's." [/quote] My version is: "S/he/you have the attention span of an amnesiac gnat."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Somnyi — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 10:05:14 -0500

... I think I have to steal that. Thank you!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Somnyi — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 10:31:39 -0500

Not taking this, can't use it, but I would like you to know I love you for this. Honestly and truly.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

princemybaby — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 11:43:59 -0500

Taking I don't obsess!!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

princemybaby — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 11:56:35 -0500

Taaakkingg...... :D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Kareman — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 12:58:13 -0500

Leaving: "He/she put the promise in promiscuity" "I think glaciers have completed marathons faster." "if you think politicians are so bad, why do you keep voting for them?"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

a.quizzical.quagmire — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 13:18:55 -0500

Leaving: C1: *reciting some long monologue/speech/plan, then pauses* Do you always have to fall asleep while I am talking? C2: No, I assure you, it's entirely voluntary. (loosely based on a quote from Churchill)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

BoBanda — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 13:25:43 -0500

wow, these are good... I may have to nab a few of them for my sarcastic character

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Artsy_Werewolf — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 13:46:25 -0500

I would love to adopt the second line, if you don't mind.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Drohd-b — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 14:15:32 -0500

love the politicians one! i might be able to use it too!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

AndreaMuse — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 16:47:52 -0500

At weddings, old people poke at me and say "You're next!" so I started doing the same thing at funerals.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

A.Rinehart — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 16:53:42 -0500

Adopting "Congratulations, You're Not Dead". X3

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

scorpiogirl89 — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 16:55:08 -0500

This one is SO Adopted !!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Currer813 — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 17:38:37 -0500

This one my dad actually said, but it doesn't fit with any of my characters. "I ate lots of mangos in Puerto Rico when I was a little boy. That's why you girls speak Spanish so well."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

GotReins — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 17:57:05 -0500

Taking the first one you took, and the first one you left! They're great!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Foxstar2000 — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 18:10:02 -0500

My dad and I were talking about politics, which got into pecking parties, which got us into "And then you end up with a house of dead chickens."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Alianora La Canta — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 18:24:41 -0500

"OK, who made infinity the square root of 2?"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

maarow — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 19:18:37 -0500

Ha! I love this thread. I have a word file of little exchanges I've never gotten to work into a story. Might as well throw some of them here for perusal. "Do I detect a note of sarcasm?" "Buddy, you detect a whole symphony of it." Girl: I had a dream once that I bought this really great sweater, but then when I tried it on, it didn’t look good on me. Guy: Nightmares of mild disappointment are often the most frightening. *people are digging up a guy’s basement and find a body* Guy: Okay, two dead bodies in my basement and suddenly I’m a murderer. Somebody in basement: We found another one! Guy: Three. Three dead bodies and suddenly I’m a murderer. You know, we used to have a thing called trust in this country. "When I was ten my dog dragged me out of a burning house and deposited me in the shed in our backyard for safekeeping." "Wow. That's pretty amazing." "Yeah.... Well, actually, the shed was also on fire, but I'm sure he meant well."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Feliciia Winters — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 19:59:40 -0500

Um, this was an exchange that happened between my sister and me many years ago. C1: "Shut up Kabob!" C2: "What? Kabob?" C1: "Shush Kabob!"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

eliezha — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 20:12:07 -0500

C1: "Are you a man, or a mouse?" C2: "I could ask you the same thing. Why don't you go be the man, and I'll wait here?"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Ellen.Mirch — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 20:28:01 -0500

I'm going to adopt this one: C1: [growls] I'm going to kill you. C2: [coos] Aww. Your struggle to hide your deep affection does wonders for my ego! It's perfect!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Ellen.Mirch — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 20:30:24 -0500

Adopting that first one :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Ellen.Mirch — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 20:35:10 -0500

Taking these two: C1: "Oh, god." C2: "Yes?" C1: "Sorry to destroy your ego, but you're not God." C2: "Only as far as this dimension is concerned." "I was just wondering how you comb your hair so the horns don't show."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Ellen.Mirch — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 20:35:54 -0500

Haha, adopting this one: Ch1: "So tell me the truth about (insert whatever is in question)." Ch2 (Replies with the truth) Ch1: "So you really need to tell me the truth." Ch2 repeats the truth. Ch1: "But really... You don't need to lie to me. You can tell me the truth." Ch2 groans.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Ellen.Mirch — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 20:42:20 -0500

I'll be taking that one :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

shogungari — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 21:14:56 -0500

C1: *explains something important* C2: Wait, what? I don't get it. C3: Hang on, I'll go get the puppets.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

trans.solem — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 21:36:08 -0500

Fifthed.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

I Can't Write For My Life — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 22:05:11 -0500

"Wow sometimes the amount of intelligence you commonly show me astounds me." Adopting this one!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Kiyene — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 22:06:05 -0500

Sixthed

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

WoolRanch — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 22:47:25 -0500

My mother said this: "They're meat bees. They don't want to sting you, just eat your flesh."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

William C Poe — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 23:09:15 -0500

C1 "I woke up this morning expecing to have a good day. Too bad that didn't last." C2 "Really, what went wrong?" C1 "Remember about 5 mins ago when you walked into the room?"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

William C Poe — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 23:23:29 -0500

C1 "I am so bored." C2 "How bored are you?" C1 "I am as bored as the two men who played Russian Roulette with no ammunition." C1 (speaking to C2) "Can you go into the kitchen and grab me some coffee?" C2 "It's only nine o' clock, are you already tired?" C1 "No. I just really want to throw a glass of hot liquid on you, but I am too lazy to go to the kitchen." *C1 is writing something in a notebook as C2 asks over and over again what he is writing* C1 "So, do you still want to know what I am writing?" C2 "Yes, and I am not leaving until you tell me." C1 "I am writing down a list of people I want to stab with this pencil, and it looks like your on the top of the list." C2 "Oh, okay. While you're at it you might want to write down an anger management hotline number...." C2 "So, you say you are not crazy, yet how many people have you killed/fought/robbed/random verb. C1 "Well there were the two cops, four hobos, six women, and three preachers. So 13, why?" C2 "13! And you say you are not crazy!" C1 "Well yeah. How many mentally unstable people do you know that can count past five?"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

LindseyyySueee — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 04:33:17 -0500

Taking do many of these :D Leaving: C1: [C2's name], clean your room! We have gusts coming over for dinner! C2: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that we would be eating in my room!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

LindseyyySueee — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 04:34:15 -0500

Wow, I meant *so many not do many. I'm so tired.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

PrincessKayleeJ — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 09:04:30 -0500

Anyone and everyone is free to take these! -Mm...it's too beautiful to go outside. Maybe I should spare ruining the perfect scenery and go back to sleep... -P1: "The shark attack theme of 'Jaws' was playing." P2: "Fast or slow?" P1: "Fast." P2: "He's fucked then." -P1: "Did you get a haircut?" P2:"No, I dyed the tips of my hair invisible. " -Payback is a bitch named after me. -42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. -The only reason I am always listening to music is to drown out the sound of your voice!~ -You say physco like it's a bad thing

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

That Guy You Met Once — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 09:16:25 -0500

Lucky number 7thed.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

simplypirate — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 10:09:25 -0500

Stealing the sense of humor line! Leaving: Oy! You! Off my planet! No! Not down there! I make babies with that! You will need a very large suitcase, or a highly compactable boyfriend.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

simplypirate — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 10:11:26 -0500

Adopting the naked line! :D Totally fits my character!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

amc735 — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 10:36:47 -0500

Okay here's some for you guys... C1: Did you just throw a book at me? *C1 picks up book and reads title.* C1: A Bible? Figures. (This next one is really mean..but if you have a character that's a racist asshole it might work for you...) Black character: Wanna go out with me some time? White character: Sorry, but I don't go out with people I can't see at night. C1: Why are you playing footsie with me? C2: Oh, sorry. I thought you were [insert name]. C3: Why, does C1 have hairy feet too?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

dmcduck — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 11:07:30 -0500

In my family, out-punning each other is a favorite activity. The following conversation took place in a car as we were driving to a family reunion. C1 was my brother, C2 was me, and C3 was my son...who got fed up with the whole thing. I saved it hoping to use it, but I don't see that happening any time soon. C1: Right lane closed ahead? How will I handle it? C2: I guess you'll be left to your own devices. C1: That's not right. C2: No one in his right mind would think it was. C1: I've got nothing left. (Pause) C1: That wasn't too painful. C2: We made it right through. C3: Would you stop that?!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Lomax343 — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 11:41:13 -0500

"You're living proof that the human gene pool has a shallow end." "Come here: I'm writing a story about a loser and I need some material." "If all the girls in (town you don't like) were laid end to end, no-one would be a bit surprised." "You should form a double-act with (generic nice guy). You could call yourselves Clean and Jerk."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

A.Rinehart — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 11:48:18 -0500

This actually happened between my mother and I. I'd love to use it, or just see it used. Mom: It doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong. Me: That's what the wrong people say.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

michaelmichael — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 12:07:34 -0500

Snagging the crayons one. Definitely something my main character would say. He's already accused a doctor of looking and sounding like a TV doctor.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

michaelmichael — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 12:32:14 -0500

C1. [Offers to do something painful to C2.] C2. "Don't threaten me with a good time."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

L-storyteller — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 12:36:29 -0500

*looks at mood ring* "I want to sleep with you. Or I'm stressing about my (home)work. I can't tell which." Ah, the epicness... and it's perfect for my MMC x'D <3

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Miss Young — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 12:55:41 -0500

Sorry, but your picture just blew my mind. Doctor who all the way. And I'm Snatching that line. :D <3

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

JAO5 — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 13:41:40 -0500

[quote=A.Rinehart] Mom: It doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong. Me: That's what the wrong people say. [/quote] So adopting this one. Unfortunately, I am not witty and have nothing to leave behind. :3

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

smokey0423 — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 14:35:19 -0500

I took too many phrases from this thread to count. And I'm leaving couple from last year: "Mmm, what a morning - bright, with a chance of nuclear fallout. Radiation really is the gift that keeps on giving." "We all have our hobbies. Grandma knits; the hobo sleeping outside the liquor store collects cans. I...Blow stuff up." "Gimme a second, let me put on my scared face. I know, it looks a lot like my bored face...oh wait, sorry, it *is* my bored face. Let me give you a tip - if you're going to threaten someone, make it believable."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Rescue Alice — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 15:58:33 -0500

I love quotes, so please forgive me for taking just about everything. Leaving: Of all the things I've lost... I miss my mind the most. Have you seen my sanity? I seem to have lost it. You're such a good friend, if we were on a sinking ship with only one life jacket I'd miss you dearly and think of you often. After two years of counseling, my therapist finally said 'Maybe, life isn't for everyone.' I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. Some people are like Slinkies: not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face, when you push them down a flight of stairs. You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor. My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems. People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up. If a fork is made of gold, will it still be called silverware? To put it nicely, I hope you choke. You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear. Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot. Flying? No big! Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you. Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

RaVnR — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 16:00:30 -0500

"Don't mind ______, he's just not flexible enough to too his own horn!"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

RaVnR — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 16:01:37 -0500

Stealing your radiation line! LOVE IT!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Carley124 — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 18:22:13 -0500

I'm taking the crayon one. :) And I may not limit its use to books. It's great!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

iaculum — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 20:50:35 -0500

Stealing the other two. Thanks!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

alannathelioness — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 22:15:36 -0500

"All is fair in love and war. This is why you bring knives to a fistfight, guns to a knife-fight, and tanks to a gunfight. .. don't get into tank-fights. " "but that is called ‘cannibalism', my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies." (i actually stole this from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory...) "It's not denial... I'm just very selective about the reality I accept." (and that is from Calvin and Hobbes.) Just think, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. parachute for sale, used once, never opened, small stain... 1: "Stop. Before you open your mouth, think about what you are going to say. Does it make you sound stupid? Yah, I thought so. Don't open your trap unless you have something intelligent to say." 2: "But..." 1: "What did I just tell you?" 2: You are so stupid!" 1: *sighs* "Okay, let me put this in a way you will understand. Shut...Your....Mouth....Or....I....Will...Shut....It....For....You. Capeesh?" 2: *gulps*

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Strytho — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 23:12:20 -0500

Hay, try these on for size C1: So why did we come to this waffle house, are we gonna eat some waffles? C2: No you idiot we're looking for the current whereabouts of Aunt Jemima! C1: I'm starting to get the feeling you don't like me. C2: I'm starting to get the feeling your crazy. C1: Okay, I bit the head off a chicken one time... C2: Point in case. C1: It's a trap! C2: Nope, it's not a trap. This is just a big costumed welcoming party. C3: Does this mean we're going to a costume party? C2: I'm surrounded. C1: Holy (insert coller here) on a (insert object here). I'm actually looking at something bigger than (Insert name here)'s losing streak at (insert sport or game here) C2: Hey! you know, you are the reason I go the therapy on Tuesdays!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

CatOfManyWhiskers — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 23:24:11 -0500

After the class Stereo Blonde (no brains) shouted at me 'do you forget anything!?' in a class, I said: Excuuuuuse me for remembering things. But, what I COULD HAVE SAID, was this (with help from mom, who loves catty remarks): Don't blame me if you're the idiot of the class. Do you REMEMBER anything? Wow, I'm surprised you got enough brainpower going to get up and say that. Oh yeah, I did forget one thing, that you have a brain. Wait! No, I didn't, because you don't have one. Similar responses to her snap at how disgusting my soda flavor sounded (mandarin lime, btw, which is AWESOME): I'm sorry, did I ask your opinion on my beverages? Oh! I didn't know I needed your approval on the flavor of my soda. I'll keep that in mind next time I want to ignore something. Oooh, you'd better not touch it. You might get infected by not liking something of mine. Eh, that's all I've got so far.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Drohd-b — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 01:36:10 -0500

lol hilarious! wish i could use this!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Drohd-b — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 01:50:13 -0500

some from last year! i don't know whose these are: "She has two brains, ones lost and the other is out looking for it." When he opens his mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there. Patience is not a virtue - it is a waste of time! Ignorance killed the cat, curiosity was framed. My name is Jonathan, but my friends call me Johnny. You can call me Fred. " God may make no mistakes but if he made you he has quite the sense of humour." " This shotgun is my master key, any lock opens magically when I blow a door off it's hinges." "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." "you know, if you say pickles really slowly it will sound like green beans." “Good morning! Have a great day... somewhere else.” “You know, there's a little bit of me that is excited to see you—Oh, wait. It’s all gone.” "In this world, there are two types of people: those who are different, and those who are not the same." "Let me rephrase my, um, phrase..." "When I said 'death' before 'dishonor,' I meant alphabetically." "The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it." "Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect." I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids." "Nobody goes there anymore because it's too crowded." C1: And besides, what better time to watch a Christmas movie than at the end of June? C2: Hmm...maybe Christmastime? C1: ...Well, that's just...so cliche.... Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. "I did not fall, I attacked the floor." if these are yours, feel free to make claims!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

leilaisawsome — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 06:46:53 -0500

8thed

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

leilaisawsome — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 06:48:14 -0500

mine!!!!!!!!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

leilaisawsome — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 06:50:51 -0500

im stealing that to!!!!!!!! and off topic..... OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE DEATHLY HALLOWS SIMBLE

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

A.Rinehart — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 07:50:49 -0500

Stealing "Ben Franklin", "Stupidity", and "I hope you choke". X3 lol

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

A.Rinehart — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 09:31:05 -0500

I may have to use "Death before Dishonor". lol

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

goodgonegirl — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 09:45:49 -0500

Leaving... "Curiosity killed the cat, I'm aware of this but fortunately for me I am not a cat and have no intention of becoming a cat."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Elemental494 — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 13:04:56 -0500

"You get three guesses on where I'm going to stab you with this pencil." One of my friends would so say this. XD Not stealin' it, but I'll have to tell her about it. Here's a few my friend came up with: C: If your IQ was my meals, I'd be pretty hungry. C: If my head were on fire, and you had control of all water in the world, I'd let it burn. Some RL stuff: C1: I like villains who are rational. C2: He tried to destroy all humankind! C1: Yes, but he did so rationally. C1: How'd I burn the popcorn?! I did what the instructions told me to do! C2: That's your problem! You don't follow the instructions, you just press the popcorn button! C: Huzzah! I've always wanted to say that in a rational setting. (silence) I haven't gotten the chance yet. Some old lines from my ScriptFrenzy: C: This is why I hate archers! They never supply their own arrows! C1: Pretty much, yeah. You don't seem the strong type. C2: Why does everybody say that?! C1: Because it's probably true. C1: You're threatening me?! C2: Consider it a warning. C1: Y-You do know, that by attacking someone, you're breaking several laws... C2: You do know that you're a wimp? And I'm a thief? Translation: I. Don't. Freaking. Care. About. Laws. C: This is where it pays to be ambidextrous. Hope people can make use of these! I'm gonna keep looking for some to steal. ;P

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Strytho — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 13:12:29 -0500

repost due to spacing error C1: So why did we come to this waffle house, are we gonna eat some waffles? C2: No you idiot we're looking for the current whereabouts of Aunt Jemima! C1: I'm starting to get the feeling you don't like me. C2: I'm starting to get the feeling your crazy. C1: Okay, I bit the head off a chicken one time... C2: Point in case.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Brandy Alexander — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 13:51:14 -0500

Okay, I laughed so loud just now I think I scared my dog.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Brandy Alexander — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 13:59:53 -0500

Was it Psych?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

CS Waters — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 14:00:25 -0500

*Hearts all of them* I especially love the missing the floor one.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

CatOfManyWhiskers — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 14:10:16 -0500

C1: "...Are you a knight?" C2: "..." *looks at his armor, his shield, his sword, and touches his helmet* "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I am." C1: "You're taking this quite rationally, you know that, right?" C2: "On the outside yes. Inside I'm screaming in utter and total confusion and terror." C1: "What is that smell!?" C2: "That would be you." (something that was said at my class) P1: *as the girls leave first* "Can I be a girl today?" P2: "You look like one." Me: *as I leave* "And you whine like one, too." The guys: "OOH!" Me: *pokes guy in front with a pencil as he talks over the movie* P1: *turns* "What?" Me: "STFU." P1: "Rude!" Me: "Yeah, yeah you are." Teacher: "How could alcohol with a 80% alcohol content be of use to anyone!?" Me: "Murder device?" Class: *stares at me in silence*

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Brandy Alexander — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 14:12:22 -0500

That would have been funny to witness

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

CS Waters — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 14:13:19 -0500

Got some to give and a request; When life gives you lemons, keep them in close reach so you can throw it at the guy who flips you off on the highway. He who laughs last didn't get the joke unil after it was explained. Loose lips make Gossip Girl. This is going to hurt . . . A LOT! I'm not going to lie to you. “It’s not like I didn’t know that. I just ignored it.” “I’m just stuffing my leg into my locker.” C1: “Where were you?!” C2: “Oh, I just fell off a ship.” C1: “WHAT?!” C2: “Yeah, it hurt.” C1: “What in the world are you doing on a ship?! How did you survive?!” C2: “Oh, it was easy. I just used my head.” C1: “. . . I won’t even bother.” C2: “Good. Because it’s a looooong story. I don’t think I have the time.” “It’s not like I forgot. I did remember! I remembered that I forgot to remember this. So, really, I never really forgot . . . Uh, what was I forgetting to remember again?” “Words of wisdom are wonderful things. But big, heavy machine guns are even more wonderful.” “I’m not crazy; I’m insane. There’s a difference, you know. Crazy is when you’re a mindless buffoon, no thoughts what-so-ever. Insane is when you have a mind, you just choose not to use it. Or any logic for that matter. But you still have a mind.” C1: “I’m doing the mo-ka-lo-ka!” C2: “Why are you doing that?” C1: “I don’t know. Why am I doing that?” C1: “I’m still hypothesizing!” C2: “What?” C1: “I’m still thinking!” C1: “I’m going to have to hurt you now.” C2: “EEEEE! Don’t hurt me!” C1: “Don’t worry, I can’t even hit the side of a barn, let alone a person.” C2: “Will you miss me then?” C1: “Miss you? I don’t even know you!” C1: “Don’t worry, we’re professions at being stupid!” C2: “That’s what teens are known best for!” C1&2: “Being stupid!” C1: What are you? Some sort of pervert? C2: I’m not a pervert! (grins and gives her double thumbs up) I’m a super-mega pervert! (totally stole this from Naruto) And my request? Werewolf jokes. Or puns. Or insults. I don't really care which.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Fabulous Scones — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 14:27:59 -0500

I think I might use this!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Fabulous Scones — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 14:28:56 -0500

Love the crayons one!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Strytho — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 16:34:44 -0500

C1: I know nows a bad time to tell you this but I'm a werewolf C2: Suuuuuure, and I'm you rival for love, Sparkles the man vampire C1: Okay, I admit that I'm a werewolf. C2: Now we just need to deal with the werefleas

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Elemental494 — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 16:57:54 -0500

“It’s not like I forgot. I did remember! I remembered that I forgot to remember this. So, really, I never really forgot . . . Uh, what was I forgetting to remember again?” This fits one of my characters PERFECTLY! Stealing it.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Elemental494 — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 16:59:08 -0500

Haha, another scene between friends I hope someone can use: C1: I just killed a mosquito! C2: That, or you were looking for an excuse to hit me. C1: It could have been both.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Feliciia Winters — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 19:27:02 -0500

Science Teacher: "This is the way schools should be run, but, since I am not Einstein, nobody will listen!" MC: "It's okay. When I take over the world, I'll run schools the way you suggest." Science Teacher: (staring) What?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

thecandiedmango — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 22:35:24 -0500

Don't you mean Sparkles the manpire?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

snhou — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 22:57:50 -0500

Description: She was perky, but in a refined way. Her personality was best described as "effervescent," not "bubbly."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

audiii — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 23:08:07 -0500

Adopting the third one, it would be perfect(:

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

WitchyRainGirl — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 23:28:48 -0500

[quote=Miss-Q-10] Female Character: ...Yes, please. Just walk right in. It's not like I could have been naked or anything. [/quote] Adopting! I have a superheroine character who keeps bursting into her sister/arch-enemy's apartment, usually by kicking down the door.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

WitchyRainGirl — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 23:40:33 -0500

[quote=Madkatt] "See, the thing is we have a love/hate relationship. She loves to hate me and I hate to love her..." C1: "So there I was, confronted by a five year old asking me if someone had punched me in the neck and contemplating the eternal question: which is worse, sex or violence?" [/quote] Adopting both of these, they're perfect for my MC.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

WitchyRainGirl — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 00:51:14 -0500

[quote=Tamisin Flame] Person 1: I've been thinking. What happens if I press this button? Person 2: The icecaps will melt, all the forests will burn, the sun will explode, and I'll throw a sandwich at you. Person 1: Really? Person 2: No, it just turns on the TV. [/quote] Adopting.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

HecticZ — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 06:48:18 -0500

Tweaking the blowing stuff up one to fit my Pyrokinetic. Thanks :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

HecticZ — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 06:51:53 -0500

Stealing the therapist one, works perfectly with the running gag that my MMC says that he knows he should see a physiologist and he keeps reminded the audience that he can't whenever he says or does something disturbing.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

AndreaMuse — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 07:38:43 -0500

woop. Some more. ~Letting the cat out of the bad is a whole lot easier than putting it back in. ~If God is watching us, then the least we can do is be entertaining. :D ~Light travels faster than the speed of sound. It's why people seem bright until you hear them speak. ~Early to bed, early to rise ensures a healthy, dull demise. ~A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. ~I didn't fight my way to be on the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. ~I can have any woman I please. It's just that so far, I haven't pleased any of them. (To innuendo or not to innuendo, that is the question.) ~Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. ~My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. ~My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician. ~My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. ~Constipated people don't give a crap. For some reason, I love the phrase, "You silly," before saying anything cruel, crude, sarcastic, or just about anything remotely funny. Particularly before anything demented... >D *cackle* ...my nano is affecting my mental health.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Laice_P_S_Enoon — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 08:21:12 -0500

"I never leave an online chat room through the door, My computer only has windows!" "I'm smart, I'm beautiful, I'm wonderful and I'm modest ... especially modest"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Shizuru1412 — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 08:40:53 -0500

so taking this.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Shizuru1412 — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 08:43:08 -0500

I loved the one with ammunition and humor! Thank you! so gonna use 'em.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

TwilightSparkle — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 09:10:52 -0500

Perfect for one of my non-Nano novels that has a MC that's survived everything.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

TwilightSparkle — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 09:11:47 -0500

I'll take them all.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

loveisastateofmind — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 09:29:04 -0500

Do you know that is my message machine right now. lol

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

TwilightSparkle — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 09:31:13 -0500

Taking the airplane-star one. Leaving: C1: Are you partially insane? C2: Dunno, but I'll keep you posted. C1: Your parents call you 'cupcake?' Surely it's because of your sweet and cuddly personality. C2: Don't make me pepperspray you. C1: See? You are a cupcake! C1: You ever get a stiletto to the face? C2: Once, yes, at this crazy bachelorette party. C1: So? Once when I was ten, he left us to our own devices for an entire Fourth of July weekend because he was out partying and drunkenly setting off fireworks. He leaves occasionally. C2: (shocked face) C1: He was sober when he came back! And nobody got hurt! That I know of. C1: My last husband cheated on me while I was pregnant! What did he think I'd think? C2: Um... 'Man, I'm craving some nachos?' C1: (glare) C2: What? It's the food most craved by pregnant women! C1: You'd better have a good excuse. Like... kidnapped by Aboriginies, or sold to a glue factory. Because she is so not happy.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

TwilightSparkle — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 09:33:32 -0500

Mine is "You have the attention span of an ADD goldfish." I've also frequently been told I've got the attention span of "an ADD rock."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Jenny_1981 — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 10:28:30 -0500

taking this "[Name] is the most evil human being on the planet, and may, in fact, be Satan himself." one of FMC's friends will say it to her about MMC thanks so much

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

theycallmeAlice — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 14:22:30 -0500

This is now mine.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Stacirox — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 15:18:43 -0500

okay, i just used this. thanks-a-million

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Stacirox — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 15:19:12 -0500

stolen!!! both of 'em! :D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Eternally_Lost_Zeppo — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 15:24:17 -0500

Taking: 'A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.' It sounds cynical enough to be something one of my characters would say.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

zizenzic — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 15:32:46 -0500

[quote=Madkatt] If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong." 1: Are you talking to yourself? 2: I was until you interrupted. What's life without a little adventure?" "Safe?" [/quote] love these!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

KristinDawn — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 17:15:03 -0500

C1: Get to the point. *irritated* C2: Or what? C1: *smiles* Or I'll reach in through your stomach and rip out your spine...savvy? C2: *pales* After C1 has been thrown into a cell in C2's basement C2 stops by to visit. C2: I'm sorry. C1: Excuse me? C2: We have to know that we can trust you. C1: *confused* And you're going to find that out by letting me rot in your basement? C2: *sigh* Are you hungry? C1: *raises eyebrows* Am I hu- Are you freaking kidding me? You knock me out, lock me in your basement, and then you ask if I'm hungry?! -You think your life sucks? Welcome to mine. C1: You're insane. C2: Probably. A millennium of self-loathing and depression hasn't exactly contributed to my sanity.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Tigerlover — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 18:35:23 -0500

I have a random line I used in my book. Here you go. C1: “You’re making no sense.” C2: “Yeah, I know. It’s a talent.” C1: “Well, if that’s your talent I’d like to see the teachers when they’re grading your essays.”

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

13LuckyWishes — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 19:22:27 -0500

C1: Oh my god, what did you do? C2: I'm not your God, and I did what I could under that severe limitation.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

TwilightSparkle — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 20:18:50 -0500

C1: Are you partially insane? C2: Dunno, but I'll keep you posted. I may not know what that means, but I do know that your cooking tastes like a dead giraffe. Get this frigging Vaseline off my teeth before I break both of your legs. Oh my gosh. You look like a unicorn barfed on you. C1: Riddle me this. Wasn’t the Titanic just a cruise? Did that not end in disaster? What about the Hindenburg? Did that not catch fire before going anywhere? C1: One, never say ‘riddle me this’. EVER. Two, the Hindenburg was a BLIMP. Not a cruise ship. Three, the Titanic was going north, where there are ice bergs. That’s why it sunk.” C1: Are there not ice bergs in the Caribbean? C2: Uh, NO. C1: Oh. Thought global warming would have fixed that by now. C2: Honestly, how did you get an A in geography… or any subject for that matter? Global warming DESTROYS ice bergs. It doesn’t MOVE them to the equator! C1: Touchy... My point is that this will end badly. So I'm gonna stay here and practice saying 'I told you so' for when you get back. C1: You're paranoid. C2: Am not! I'm just crazy prepared. C1: Prepared for the crazy is more like it. Don't say 'I told you so', just come rescue us. Just because I broke my foot doesn't mean I can't still punch you in the face.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Simply.Fictionesque — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 20:58:09 -0500

So many good ones here... I'm borrowing a few and leaving this: C1: Gee thanks. C2: Of course, What are friends for? C1: Torture? C2: Only for your own benefit.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Elemental494 — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 21:33:21 -0500

No problem! Glad you like it :D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Inkblot — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 01:15:37 -0500

I just wrote that and went, "Self, that's actually... not too bad... wow.." So just because it made me feel all warm and fuzzy: C1:“It’s kind of... not.... good.” C2:“Not good in what way?” C1:Well, I guess it’s kinda.... just generally not good.” C2:“Not good as in “not legal?” C1: “Well, yeah, that too..”

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Laice_P_S_Enoon — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 04:40:36 -0600

This is based on a real conversation!!! C1 *reading sign infront of church* : This Sunday, The Bible Chapter Two C2: Does the Bible come in chapters? C1: Yeah I think so ... well it has books C2: But dont they all cover the same thing from different points of view C1: Nah they're different stories, but I dont know exactly ... i dont know what the bible covers C2: I know it covers a Mmultitude of sins!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

trans.solem — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 05:25:30 -0600

C1: (referring to C2) Ugh. Simpleton. C2: (talking to C3) And now you’re introduced to his incredibly delightful and yet vaguely malevolent charm that so draws me in.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

eccedentesiast — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 06:17:08 -0600

*C1 leaps onto C2's back and clings* C2: (annoyed) will you please stop that? C1: (cheerfully) nope! C2: will you stop clinging so damn hard, then? C1: nope! but i value your feedback.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

cougarswithguns — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 06:34:13 -0600

I've stolen so many of these...thank you all so much! they've given me so much insipiration...

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Liberty Girl — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 07:13:26 -0600

Ninthed

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Liberty Girl — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 07:16:38 -0600

Taking the crayons and the shocked one. I love the sarcasm and ammunition ones, too. I might use them if I find a place to use them.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Liberty Girl — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 07:18:40 -0600

So adopting the Female Character one!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Liberty Girl — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 07:20:07 -0600

I love all of these! I'm adopting the first and maybe the third.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Liberty Girl — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 07:25:17 -0600

I adore all of these! Taking "What's life without a little adventure?" definatly and maybe some others. Like "You know, I could have shot you in the face. But that would've been rude." "Thanks for the polite consideration. I guess..." and really just all of them with two lines

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Liberty Girl — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 07:41:13 -0600

There are too many of these these to quote whicih ones i want.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Liberty Girl — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 07:49:13 -0600

FMC says something (doesn’t matter what) MMC: You know, it scares me how much you’re like (insert character here) MMC “All boys have a dream. It is placed in their minds since birth. This dream is... to be a ninja.” MMC “I don’t know what all little girls dream. Maybe it’s to braid hair. I mean, have you ever seen them? When one of them is upset they’re all ‘Oh, oh (makes hair-braiding motions)It’s okay.’ When you come back they all have braids!”

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Liberty Girl — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 07:53:18 -0600

So adopting

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Liberty Girl — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 07:59:13 -0600

Stealing the second!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Liberty Girl — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 08:04:37 -0600

I'm adopting these. I have so many of these. I'm really glad my FMC and best friend are sarcastic.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Liberty Girl — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 08:29:33 -0600

Adopting.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Liberty Girl — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 08:31:32 -0600

Leaving MMC; Come on, man up! MFC: I can't! I don't have the stuff to do that! MMC: Well, you should get some! One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Feliciia Winters — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 08:48:16 -0600

Taking so, so many. Leaving: When it rains on my parade, I bust out my slip n’ slide. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you’re a mile away from them and you have their shoes. In a world full of cheerios, be a fruit loop. I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned. When life hands you lemons, throw something harder back. That which does not kill me…should run. FAST. Never knock on Death’s door. Ring the doorbell and run. He HATES that. I hear voices in my head. But that’s alright. Most of them are pretty nice. The world is full of crazy people. They made me their leader. It’s you and me against the world. We attack at dawn.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Liberty Girl — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 09:00:09 -0600

C1: He took it! C2: No, she took it from me first! C3: I'll solve this. I'll take it. C2: What about the (insert other not as good object.) I traded her for it. C1: NO you didn't! You stuffed these in my hands like it was some great gift and grabbed the (first object)! That's not trade!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

OneTravisToGo — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 10:10:50 -0600

Tenthed

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Prudence Fang — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 10:15:52 -0600

Me too!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

sabrina angel — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 10:21:27 -0600

Okay, so C1 is angry at C2 and C2 is trying on a suit or new outfit or something C2: So what do you think? *motions at outfit or whatever* C1: i think you're stupid, arrogant, and conceited. C2: So you like it? C1: *rolls eyes* Its really bad but oh well!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

sabrina angel — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 10:42:53 -0600

these are all so funny, taking practically all of them. leaving: C1: "You must hang out with a lot of ugly people, considering you seem to like hanging around me." C2: "No. It's just you."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Doodles13 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 11:20:58 -0600

I’m gonna kill him. I don’t care if I have to jump to do it, tall bastard. Oh, this is perfect for my FMC and her new love interest. Taken :D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Doodles13 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 11:27:37 -0600

I can't take credit for any of these, I saved them from last year. If any are double posted, forgive me. -------- "I'd do backflips, but I am way too cool!" The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative. In an argument, a woman always has the last word. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. Optimism means you just lack information. "I swear, if he takes another step towards me, I shall shoot him. In the face. With a missile." If all we have between is lust, well then that's good enough for me! Okay, so that wasn't funny. Help! Someone stole my humor! "Good morning. I see the assassins have failed again." "I'm blonde. What's your excuse?" "There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives. " "Quit typing - I'M TRYING TO SEDUCE YOU!" Yeah, I hit like a girl but you could too if you hit a bit harder. "FBI, Open the door!" "No... it's cool when you break in" I would explain it to you, but I am fresh out of crayons. And so after much wrangling with our consciences (and by "wrangling" I mean "ignoring" and by "much" I mean "about ten seconds")… "Sacrilicious. Yeah, so delicious ... it's sinful." You know that thing you just did? Don't do that. The person who made an awkward and embarrassing moment: "I'm just gonna go...marinate in shame." "I'm not a pessimist, I'm a realist. Life sucking doesn't make me all emo and gloomy." Don't play stupid with me, I'll win. Sorry, I become grammatically detached when I'm excited. "If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong." “I didn’t lie, I just twisted the truth slightly” C1: What do you WANT from me?!?! C2: A dollar. C1: BESIDES a dollar. C2: Two dollars. C1: "I really like your hair." C2: "Oh. Thanks." C1: "It just looks nice." C2 (grinning): "Yeah, well, I grew it myself." The sole purpose of having a full name is so you can tell when you're really in trouble. I'm a bomb tester. If you see me running, try to keep up. I'm not your type, I'm not inflatable. C: Why are you so sarcastic? C2: It is my body's natural defense against stupidity. C1: You're not dead. C2: No. C1: Congratulations. For someone who claims to love me, you put on a spectacular act of hatred. "You've got some great boobs." C1: Are you crazy? C2: I wouldn't say crazy. Maybe an eccentric who looks good in jeans. How can you tell that someone's a compulsive liar? I mean, assuming that their pants aren't on fire. Clearly you're incapable of appreciating my genius. That was actually a pretty good one. I'm shocked it came from your mind. C1: I beg to differ. C2: Then you beg to be wrong. "Let's be civil about this! In my defense, I fully expected the fire to kill you!" C1: I love you. C2: I tolerate your existence. "If you're gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty." C1: You're an ass! Stop being an ass, you ass! C2: You know, sometimes your brain is amazingly eloquent. I mean really, it's astounding! "Damn it Carl! How many times do I have to tell you! Pillage THEN burn." "Here's your bread; it's hot like me." C1:"It's hopeless talking to you ..." C2"I know. It is. So why do you keep doing it?" "Becoming rich didn't make me insufferable; I've always been this way." "I'm not opinionated, I'm just always right." c1: You can argue with anyone about anything c2: No I can't c1: You just proved my point. c2: No I didn't C1: There are no words to describe how disgusting you are. C2: Yes, there are. You just never learned them. CH1: "The economy sucks!" CH2: "I'll drink to that." CH1: "You'll drink to anything." CH2: "I'll drink to that too.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 11:32:33 -0600

I'm taking all of them

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 11:33:01 -0600

I'm so taking this

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 11:34:56 -0600

taking it thanks!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 11:35:32 -0600

those are perfect i'm adopting both

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 11:47:32 -0600

totally adopting this!!!!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

CaitlynnJ — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 11:53:24 -0600

[quote=wingch] Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Girl: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. -- Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: Hiding from you. -- Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you. Girl: But would you stay there? [/quote] Adopting!! Thanks soo much. This is soo cute!!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 11:58:50 -0600

I like the second one i don't know if i'll actually be able to use it but i'm going to try

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 12:01:20 -0600

Totally adopting them!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 12:09:38 -0600

I'm going to try to use all of them but i'm definitley using the 3rd from the bottom

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 12:12:54 -0600

I like the cupcake one so i'm adopting it!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 12:21:47 -0600

I like the last one

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 12:23:59 -0600

I like them both and i'mm going to try to fit them in

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 12:49:10 -0600

i think im adopting all of these some i can use now but most of them will be for future reference

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 12:51:29 -0600

I like the first one

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 12:52:38 -0600

Also adopting the third one

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 12:57:55 -0600

Adopting just about all of them

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 13:01:10 -0600

I love all of these!!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 13:01:33 -0600

Lol totally adopting this!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 13:05:25 -0600

I love the first two!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 13:08:44 -0600

Love these!!! "I was born a pessimist. My blood type is B negative." Really? That's all you could come up with? I would have figured you'd be a bit more creative than that. But I guess I overestimated your intelligence." "I tried being good once. Most boring thirty seconds of my life." I do not have an attitude problem. I have an attitude, but you're the one that seems to have a problem with it!"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 13:14:07 -0600

Adopting the last one!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 13:16:33 -0600

stealing both

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 13:17:45 -0600

"You'll have to excuse C1's attitude, S/He’s a little upset, s/he misses his/her wardrobe." Adopting this!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 13:26:04 -0600

Here are the ones i'm leaving: “Why don’t you, take a long walk off a short pier.” “Build a bridge and get over it.”

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Addy Silver — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 13:26:54 -0600

"You know, if you say pickles really slowly it will sound like green beans." I got my friend to do it, and I start laughing so hard, and she's like, What? What? And I'm just like, i can't believe you did it! And my other friend, who's sitting near us, goes, "I would be laughing at her too, but I was doing it over here." I start cracking up.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 13:32:40 -0600

i'm adopting Yeah, I hit like a girl but you could too if you hit a bit harder.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

love.in.the.city97 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 13:38:49 -0600

This is like, my motto... "Before critisizing somone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away, you've burnt calories and you have their shoes. And C1: Dude, your stealing my thunder... C2: I've always thought you a more lightning type of person C3: Well there's a shocker

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

love.in.the.city97 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 13:45:56 -0600

Dude, you're hilarious. I'm adopting the one about chickens, death, and attacking the world at dawn.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Kira Wonrey — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 14:04:30 -0600

I may be using this! Thank you so much!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Dark.Angel — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 14:35:26 -0600

Actually, it's 68% of all statistics are made up on the spot. ;)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Emz_Sophie — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 14:56:23 -0600

Taking so many of these. I'm not a very witty person, but one of my characters is so this is great!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

SignoraPsycheZenobia — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 15:05:36 -0600

Alright, who cleaned the counter with holy water again?! C1: Who did you eat? C3: ... don't you mean what? C1: I mean who. Don't you even know C2? I got a call. The anti-christ is vomiting the cookies I made him all over the school, AGAIN, and I have to go help clean it up. Is your blood hallucinogenic today? I like to think of it as you winning to soberiety game. **** All taken from another story I've written, and scrapped. :D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Crystalme13 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 15:49:28 -0600

C1: Would it kill you to try? C2: Yes and I'm to young to die.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Kieran.W — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 16:25:47 -0600

[quote=Madkatt] C1: For the record, I blame you. C2: What!? This was your idea! C1: Well, you should've talked me out of it! [/quote] If I get a chance I am adopting this, I love it.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

MouseShadow — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 17:00:56 -0600

xD That's perfect considering one of my characters has electric powers.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

ThinlyVeiledInsanity — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 18:13:19 -0600

Eleventhed?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

GreenEyedOrchDork — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 18:19:52 -0600

I'm adopting more than Brangelina, but I'll leave a few, mostly from past stories I'll never finish: (Sarcastically) Good job! That's right! You get a gold star! C1: I hate you! C2: I love you, too. C1: Do you think I have a chance with her, or does she think I'm some kind of freak? C2: Do you really want me to answer that question? C1: I feel like I've just landed in a bad horror movie. Am I gonna die? C2: No, it's usually the sexy, drop-dead gorgeous blondes that go first, so you're good. (Scene in which C1 is mad at C2 and standing on his/her lawn) C1: (Throwing an apple on the ground) There! I littered on your PRECIOUS lawn! What are you going to do about that, huh? C2: You know, the apple is probably just going to decompose into the soil and grow another apple tree. C1: Quit killing my mood. C2: Yeah, well, thanks in advance for the apples. The place was pathetic, untended, depressing, ugly, slightly smelly, and just plain sad. So that's probably why I liked it immediately. C1: I have a plan. C2: Hit me. C1: As much as I'd like to, I should probably get on with the plan. C1: It's freezing cold. Can I get a sweater? C2: Oh, you'll be fine. It always gets really hot inside the school dances. C1: Er... C2: Interpret that however you wish. C1: Hey, what's up? C2: Your face is up! C1: That doesn't even make sense. C2: Your face doesn't make sense! C1: Seriously, dude? You're making this painful and awkward when it should be fun. C2: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID! C1: Okay, I'm leaving. C1: Did you eat a tad too many bitch flakes this morning, missy? C2: But bitch flakes taste delicious with smart ass milk and sarcasm juice! C1: You need a shopping day! C2: Really? C1: Yes! Every girl needs to take one day a week to just look around at wonderful and expensive things she will never buy. C2: You mean be a brainless airhead? C1: Exactly! C1: You're not exactly in a position to give relationship advice. The only boyfriend/girlfriend you've ever had was [name] in seventh grade. And that lasted for, like, three minutes. C2: It was five days, actually. Five days, 10 hours, 25 minutes, and 43 seconds exactly. C1: And the fact that you know that is precisely why you're still single. Female C1: I think my favorite type of bra is a pushup bra. Female C2: Oh, me too! Those are so cute! Male C: Are you guys talking about underwear or popsicles? C1: How important am I to you? C2: Well, let me put it this way: if you and a cherry pie were on a sinking boat and I could only save one of you, I'd take the cherry pie. C1: Seriously? C2: Seriously. C1: Well that's harsh. C2: I know. Especially because I hate cherry pie. C1: I know what they're doing! They're trying to take over! Well, I won't stand for it! C2: But you are standing. C1: Shut up! I'm trying to be motivational! (After something embarrassing) C1: If you tell anyone about what just happened, I I will cause you severe physical and emotional pain for the rest of your life. C2: Wow, impressive empty threat. C1: You think so? You really want to find out how EMPTY it is while we're still alone? C2: Uhh, nope, I'm good. (C1 is not a very intelligent person, C2 is pretty smart) C1: God, this book is boring! Was it written in, like, the 18th century or something? C2: It was written in 1742. C1: Oh! So the 17th century, then? C2: Ugh. No. C1: You should go talk to [name]. He's the hall monitor. C2: Where can I find him? C1: In the halls... C1: Hey, my name's Graham. C2: Like the cracker? C1: [Name] iis so weird. S/he has a ton of paintings of chickens, but s/he puts them all on his/her ceiling. C2: Really? Why does s/he do that? C1: S/he says it's because s/he doesn't have anywhere else to put them, but I think it's because when people come over and ask him/her "Guess what?" s/he can tell them... C2: Chicken butt! Okay, that last one was kind of corny, but whatever... You can edit these, of course, to your hearts content. And thanks to everyone else for your witty brains and magical writing powers. I've stolen way too many lines already.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

brightestdarkness — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 18:52:27 -0600

twelved.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Horsey-Girly — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 19:40:33 -0600

Taking the three liner! My MC died, and I was planning on having her return! Thanks so much!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Feliciia Winters — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 19:44:55 -0600

Thanks! I can't really take credit for them though. @.@

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

JezebelK — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 20:04:58 -0600

Did you perhaps take the Kleenex one from the movie Clue? xD

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

stackismyblack — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 20:05:55 -0600

I''m so using the ammunition one! lololololol! And quite possibly the 'You're not dead' one as well. They both fit so well I can't not try and use them.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Haili73 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 20:13:09 -0600

[quote=jade bear] Ch1: "So tell me the truth about (insert whatever is in question)." Ch2 (Replies with the truth) Ch1: "So you really need to tell me the truth." Ch2 repeats the truth. Ch1: "But really... You don't need to lie to me. You can tell me the truth." Ch2 groans. [/quote] I am so using this for my FMC talking to my MMC's best friends about where my MMC disappeared to! The truth is really outrageous (he's in another world) but they obviously won't believe her LEAVING C1: What do you think you're doing? C2: What does it look like I'm doing? C1: It looks like you're trying to cause Armaedeggon!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Haili73 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 20:14:00 -0600

I'm so using the king one. Except he used to be king until he got the boot, and it's the new king that's talking to him. makes it even funnier

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

The Bright Side of Toast — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 20:26:36 -0600

Taking almost eveything here. Yoink!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

forcedtotry0123 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 20:46:38 -0600

thanks I think I'm going to use the first one

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

sabrina angel — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 21:36:45 -0600

taking so many, i must give back "I hate you." "What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" "Erm... I hate you."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

SuperFlyingCow — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 22:11:08 -0600

"Any old man can fart in an empty room and claim to be able to control the wind." (This is derived from a previously read book, so it might be stealing, but...) C1: They thought they were doing something good. They thought they were going to heaven C2: Guess where they are now?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Prudence Fang — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 23:41:46 -0600

My (not so) witty lines: "X never marks the spot. It's where you're supposed to stand when the booby traps go off." "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade and sell it at a ridiculously high price and blame it on the economy while you secretly use the money to build up an arsenal of highly destructive weapons to end the world as we know it." "Life is full of ups and downs, I'm always told. Eventually things will get better, they say. The bumpy road of life will eventually smooth out. Really. They obviously never sat in the backseat of my metaphorical car riding along on this road called 'life'." "Good henchmen are hard to come by these days. There used to be times when they were loyal, trustworthy and completely diposable. Now they have lawyers. There was a time when they were disposable too..." "Argh! Stop doing things like that! You're making yourself indispensable!!" "Sanity is overrated." "Who needs a tiny voice in their head telling them to do good and make right decisions when they could have five telling them to do things that are much more fun?"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

WestWinds — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 23:43:55 -0600

C1: Why have you never challenged me to a battle of wits? C2: Well, I would have, except for the fact that I don't fight unarmed people. (got this from a friend)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

TheLadyInWriting — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 03:01:14 -0600

Adoptng "Wow sometimes the amount of intelligence you commonly show me astounds me." for my mc and I can totally see c2 saying thanks..

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Perse_Rising — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 04:23:52 -0600

Nope. Portal 2 actually xD The main character Chell's last name is always given as [REDACTED] and my mind goes weird places... Good guess though!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

leilaisawsome — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 06:46:49 -0600

mine all MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE IT

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

leilaisawsome — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 06:49:59 -0600

MINE ..... love the frog ang mouth thing thx

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Serious Desi — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 10:44:23 -0600

This one is perfect for my characters. :D C1: I have a plan. C2: Hit me. C1: As much as I'd like to, I should probably get on with the plan. Adopting it.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Serious Desi — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 10:51:02 -0600

I'll leave my favorite here: C1: What are you doing here? (Or How did you get here?) C2: Condom broke. I never seem able to use it accept in siggies.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

starbursted — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 10:53:45 -0600

Unlucky thirteenthed!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

starbursted — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 11:08:16 -0600

BAHAHAHAHA Not taking any of these but they're all hilarious! xDD

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

WestWinds — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 11:59:14 -0600

I thought it was 84%... I think we should review our sources, haha

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Tamisin Flame — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 12:48:49 -0600

Which line? :D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

gurugirl — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 16:49:22 -0600

C1: For the record, I blame you. C2: What!? This was your idea! C1: Well, you should've talked me out of it! -Fits perfectly with my plot!!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Sooba — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 16:51:12 -0600

And I'll fourteenth that.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

isadorjoutinandvioletmanson — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 17:42:29 -0600

15thed. Just because I can. :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

RoboKitty — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 18:09:52 -0600

Totally just sixteenthed that!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

rainbowdiva1 — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 18:24:11 -0600

this is so neat for my story adds humour to the horror

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

One&Only — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 19:19:01 -0600

Haha I'm so stealing this! Perfect :D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

DalanieBeach — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 19:25:35 -0600

Here's mine :) "Don't get excited, second place is techincally first loser."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

One&Only — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 19:29:47 -0600

Amazing. All of them. Especially the shooting star one and "I was until you interrupted!"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

UndercoverGambit — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 20:38:20 -0600

Adopting C1: Do you think I have a chance with her, or does she think I'm some kind of freak? C2: Do you really want me to answer that question? It's perfect!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steph1093 — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 20:44:18 -0600

I love it i'm totally adopting this one!!!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

immortality1278 — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 21:07:43 -0600

"C1: Are you crazy? C2: I wouldn't say crazy. Maybe an eccentric who looks good in jeans" A fellow Psych fan! If you're ever in need of witty lines, just watch that show XD

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

TwilightSparkle — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 21:24:37 -0600

"Alright, who decided it'd be a good idea to let the angry pregnant woman carve a pumpkin?"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

piccolafata — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 22:42:47 -0600

Two old people(my grandparents, actually) conversing. C1: Honey, would you like a fig? C2: What? You think my head is big? C1: I never said anything about your head! C2: I distinctly heard you mentioning my head. You said it was obnoxiously large. C1: Ugh! I never said anything like that! And your head is perfectly proportionate to your body! C2: Oh, so you're calling me fat now?! That was when Grampa broke out the measuring tape.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Madkatt — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 23:23:56 -0600

I use this all the time, especially to annoy my brothers

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Madkatt — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 00:02:15 -0600

"How the hell did he break that light?" "Well, apparently he forgot how tall he was..." "If you don't stop looking at my chest soon then I'll make it so all you can see is stars." Something my dad tends to say if someone says "Do I look stupid" "I'm not going to answer that on the grounds of incriminating myself" "Violence is not the answer. It's the question. The answer's yes." "FBI, drop your weapon!" "CIA, kiss my ass!" Why did you say that if we aren't going to do it?" - C1 "I just wanted to clarify what you wanted so I could shoot it down completely." - C2 Is it wrong to want to be the designated driver just to you can drop off obnoxious drunks at random houses that aren't theirs?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Genevievey24 — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 00:54:21 -0600

C1: "You have to be patient." C2: "I will!!" C1: "Just not now?" *C1 is leaning out of a window/doorway, while C2 stays inside* C2: "What's it like out there?" C1: "Big."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

nesser_z — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 05:37:26 -0600

C1 "You are a complete idiot," C2 "Nuh uh, I'm only at 95% capacity," Or something along those lines. Going to use it in my own novel. =)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Dean_Girl — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 08:34:33 -0600

FBI Agent: FBI! Open the door! C1: No! It's cool when you kick the door down! C1: Say one of your friends decides to visit your home country, where would be the first place you would take them? C2: Back to the airport. C1: Uh, I'm like four times your size. C2: With one-eighth of my brains. C1: It reeks down here! C2: Yeah, who thought a sewer system would stink?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Dark.Angel — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 08:35:54 -0600

Leaving: Maybe if you put down Call of Duty, you would get some call of booty.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

spoons214 — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 14:40:18 -0600

Real life conversation between me and a Kindergartner, never found a good place to use it: Him: I have a girlfriend? Me: A girlfriend? Aren't you a little young for that? Him: No, she's five too!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Ofoust_2011 — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 17:07:15 -0600

Geez... I love these! Sooo my MMC! lol.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

meggie358 — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 18:42:50 -0600

Yeah, I hit like a girl but you could too if you hit a bit harder. Don't play stupid with me, I'll win. C: Why are you so sarcastic? C2: It is my body's natural defense against stupidity. Clearly you're incapable of appreciating my genius. C1:"It's hopeless talking to you ..." C2"I know. It is. So why do you keep doing it?" C1: There are no words to describe how disgusting you are. C2: Yes, there are. You just never learned them. GENIUS! thank you so much!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

SapphireRose — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 18:50:08 -0600

Nurse:“Ok, now lift up your head and Dr.Blank and I will apply the numbing medicine and you will feel just a little prick.” C1 thinking :Feel a little prick, why bother when I had one for a doctor?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Inkblot — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 02:31:01 -0600

C1: You know, there's a very fine line between genius and insanity. C2: I have erased that line, and replaced it with a trout. C1: I'm a ninja C2: psh, no you're not! C1: Oh yeah? Did you see that?" C2: See what? C1: Exactly. C1: I used to have a friend... C2: Really? I never saw you with anyone... C1: Oh, s/he was there, but then the rope broke and he got away...

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Aella Mae — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 05:00:14 -0600

C1: Oooh, watcha drinking? C2: A liquid compound of two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen. What do you think I'm drinking? Read this somewhere... can't remember where though T^T

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Aella Mae — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 05:47:49 -0600

More awesome lines not written by me: C1: Don't you get smart with me. C2: Apologies, because you only want the dimmest of the dim for your team, sir. Two people ordering coffee C1: I'll take the usual. Server: And your companion? C1: Oh, he'll have it black and bitter, like his heart. C2:... C1 dragging C2 to the hospital after he gets injured. C1: Oi, Doctor! Got someone dying to see you. C2: Bloody hell... C1: Okay, maybe that was a bad choice of words. Doctor: What in god's name did he do to warrant this? Besides fail to duck. It wasn't as if he'd actually hit the guy that much. Mostly he had simply... rebounded. Generally into hard objects. It was obviously, he thought wryly, the floor's fault. Some more random ones... C1: Don't you trust in my infallible genius? C2: As much as it pains me to say, I suppose I have no choice. C1: (turning to the world at large) Behold, all ye unbelievers: a conversion! C2: /sigh... C1: So are things here still the same system of testosterone addled asylum for the maladjusted? C2: ...yep, pretty much. Unless you're thinking of the chicks. They've got slightly less testosterone and a whole lot more rage.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

selenagabrielle — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 12:28:53 -0600

i love it!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

selenagabrielle — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 12:29:07 -0600

can i have them all?!?!?! <3

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Catorrina — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 13:18:02 -0600

How can you tell that someone's a compulsive liar? I mean, assuming that their pants aren't on fire. Not taking but... Reminds me of something on Psych! Love that show!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Scat.Le.Cabbus — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 13:20:20 -0600

"Yeah, guys; I'm not entirely sure the microwave should be smoking like that." (while being amusing in hindsight, this is only one of the reasons my friends should not be allowed in a kitchen)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Elle Griffin — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 18:08:19 -0600

This is a short list of lines, that I have picked up from here and there. When you black-out in a bad situation, you never wake up in a better one. Murphey's Law. Anything that can go bad, will. C1: "That was mature. I'm loving this conversation." C2: "I bet you are." C1: "How can you not have notied?" C2: "Noticed what?" C1 is pointing at the person on the floor. C2: "Oh...yes. I've just noticed that. It is kind of weird, isn't it?" C1: "That's what you have to say? How come you haven't noticed her/him before? S/he's been lying there for three days!" He looked like he smelled horrible. I know what's around the corner! That's not the problem. The problem is, that I don't know where the corner is. I wanted this whole mess to be over with. My ideal Friday night is hardly spent breaking and entering. C1: "Is C2 here?" C3: "Absolutely, I drove her/him here myself." C1: "Is s/he still alive?" C was more than ready to flee the scene of a brutally murdered conversation. C liked to follow random strangers around, to see if they did something interesting. C couldn't cook. At best, s/he could place a bag of popcorn in the microwave and pray that it didn't burn down the house. When insane things start to arrange themselves in sane patterns around you, you know you've got problems. I don't think I'd ever seen him so angry, and I'd definitely seen him when he wasn't at his best. Weirdness seemed to latch onto me like magnets to a fridge. "I am not mad." Maybe he was referring to his feelings regarding the incident, or maybe he was talking about his own mental state in genral. No matter what the subject was, his statement was still a lie.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

WestWinds — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 18:30:24 -0600

Two characters are are each waiting for the other to go through a door first (just an example), as if they were being polite, but they are actually just being stubborn. Two new characters walk up. The new characters have a conversation. C1: What are they doing? C2: Having a maturity contest. apply as needed.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

merrygolightly — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 19:09:25 -0600

I think I may adopt ""I did not fall, I attacked the floor." But my FMC is a little sweeter, so I may make it-"I did not fall, I hugged the floor." Thanks!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

An Unromantic Comedy — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 19:15:56 -0600

I love Death Note but not L :P Nice picture anyway!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

An Unromantic Comedy — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 19:58:11 -0600

Fullmetal Alchemist... FTW :) Team Edward. ELRIC.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

An Unromantic Comedy — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 20:07:32 -0600

When I was little, I'd say to my Aunt Nancy "I'm thirsty." And she'd say, "Hi Thirsty, I'm Nancy!" Ahh memories :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

julie.difebo — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 20:35:33 -0600

This especially works if C2 points out that it's 12:04 AM.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

An Unromantic Comedy — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 20:47:36 -0600

Ahhhh Naruto... :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Drohd-b — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 21:13:55 -0600

Yeah, I hit like a girl, but you could too if you hit a bit harder. lol, this is a perfect line for my fmc to break up with her boyfriend.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

BrOnTePeReZ — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 21:25:43 -0600

im barrowing everything from this first page it all fit's my story! you guys are great <3

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

ArtsyGal — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 21:57:52 -0600

I have to say, I LOVE both of these!!!!!! Unfortunately they won't work for my novel, but I might take them anyway for future use. I can just see the second one on a little plaque somewhere. :D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

piccolafata — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 00:40:53 -0600

Taking the bitch-flakes :) that is awesome! Leaving: He's a peeper, not a keeper. C1: Please don't insult my intelligence. I've had enough of things I care for demeaning me. C2: What do you care for that demeans you? C1: Oh, you know, the usual. My sister, my brother, my computer playing chess. I'm not sure if this one was posted already, but I saw it last year and loved it: C1: Where are we? C2: Somewhere. C1: Thank you, Mr. Specific, your attention to detail astounds me. C2: I was rather eloquent, wasn't I?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

asksmommy — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 04:35:11 -0600

I'll be using this myself, but thought it too funny not to share: I can never get a break. If Dolly Parton got triplets, I'd be the one with the bottle.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Awy — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 09:36:20 -0600

"When insane things start to arrange themselves in sane patterns around you, you know you've got problems." I love it. Really. Though I'm not sure it'll fit in my story. Ah well, I guess I'll just throw it in somewhere.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

theelfchild — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 11:16:39 -0600

Taking a number of these. Leaving: You're only immortal until you die. You're like an honourary girl, in a manly way. C1: Love you. C2: Well, that's your problem, isn't it?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

ArtsyGal — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 16:14:15 -0600

Not taking any right now, but had to leave this one. C1 is talking to someone and using very dramatic hand gestures. C2 is walking up behind C1 and gets smacked. C1 is so deep in conversation they don't realize what just happened. Finally they turn to greet C2 C1; *gasp* Where did you get that black eye/bloody nose? C2: Oh, I just woke up this morning and decided to WALK INTO SOMEONES FIST! Just to shake my day up a bit. Bonus points if C1 gets all concerned and starts a gentle lecture about C2's hobbies and strange ways. :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

ArtsyGal — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 16:14:43 -0600

Oh, and I forgot to add you also get bonus points if C1 still doesn't realize it is there fault!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Anryan_Queen — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 19:59:46 -0600

"See, the thing is we have a love/hate relationship. She loves to hate me and I hate to love her..." This.. This is exactly what my story is about... Minus the sarcasm. Adopted. Leaving: I'm an apathetic sociopath - I'd kill you if I cared. It's dishonorable of me to engage an unarmed person in a battle of wits.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

The Wright Remedy — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:21:41 -0600

C1: The good news is we aren't dead. C2: Well that's comforting. C1: I do what I can.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

MCR_dynamite — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:31:31 -0600

The sense of humour one is REALLY familiar. I may be (probably am) taking credit for other people's lines, but I think I posted that one!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Ominous Rain — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:36:27 -0600

Pssssssh! I gets to 17th it!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

StoryGirl19 — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:45:31 -0600

Totally love these lines and are adopting them they may not work in my story for nano but I can totally use them in something else. I know what's around the corner! That's not the problem. The problem is, that I don't know where the corner is. When insane things start to arrange themselves in sane patterns around you, you know you've got problems.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

MCR_dynamite — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 13:44:19 -0600

I was going to say Portal! XD

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Freya-Rhianna — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 14:05:55 -0600

I love this xD and its perfect for this point in my story x3 adopted ^.^ thank you (: xx

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Shizuru1412 — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 18:18:35 -0600

love the second line. Going to adopt it. :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Will64 — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 18:35:33 -0600

18thd

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Will64 — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 18:40:00 -0600

WOOT!!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Will64 — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 18:40:43 -0600

*GASP* D:

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Shizuru1412 — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 20:57:54 -0600

loved 'em. Especially the butterfly lines one! :D So gonna adopt it.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Shizuru1412 — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 21:02:10 -0600

adopting most of em, I think. Love it!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Shizuru1412 — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 21:05:16 -0600

[quote=Madkatt] "Oh, come on, can't you come up with an original way to kill me?" "What are you trying to do, talk me to death?" [/quote] love 'em!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Shizuru1412 — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 21:31:49 -0600

adopting the tv lines too. xD

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Narnian Speedstacker — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 00:48:07 -0600

C1: "If I had to put up with [name], I don't think I'd be in my right mind!" C2: "Says the guy who talks to himself..." "Why don't you just go away and take your single digit IQ with you?" C1: “Okay, okay. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone, but rainbow unicorns came, took me in their spaceship, and gave this to me as a present. Where do you think I got it?" C2: (narrates) I had some serious suspicions that C2 had a near-fatal overdose of sarcasm pills that morning. Then again, maybe he'd just had a late night. After all, I couldn't expect the rainbow unicorns from outer space to know his bedtime.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

lncurtis — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 01:30:26 -0600

"You know, I could have shot you in the face. But that would've been rude." "Thanks for the polite consideration. I guess..." That one is so perfect for two of my MC's! Totally adopting; might use C1: [growls] I'm going to kill you. C2: [coos] Aww. Your struggle to hide your deep affection does wonders for my ego! that one too!(:

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

jboy — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 04:34:20 -0600

MC: One of these days I'm finally going to get rid of you FC: Then what would you do for fun? MC: Your sister

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

jboy — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 05:16:17 -0600

I've never seen someone hold their head so high, while talking out of their ass

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

storywriter84 — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 07:33:20 -0600

Seriously, that second line fits so perfectly. Adopting it! I promise to take good care of it.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

storywriter84 — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 07:36:10 -0600

I would love to put the second one in because it made me laugh. I'm competely going to try that. Thanks.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Emma_Sunshine — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 16:28:06 -0600

I love them all!!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

jodicompton — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 19:40:22 -0600

This might work for someone doing chick lit: "Casual sex is not for everybody. Moping around by the phone might be a sign of a rare but serious side effect: Love."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

melwrites312 — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 21:28:16 -0600

Adopting the titanic/ told you so convo, I can use that one!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

melwrites312 — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 21:50:18 -0600

Leaving: C1: What do we need in there? C2: Condoms, did you sleep through sex ed? Do you want a (insert character name) junior on the way? C1:I have to buy them? C2:No I was thinking we shoplift.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Serendipitist — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 22:04:02 -0600

Taking: MC: One of these days I'm finally going to get rid of you FC: Then what would you do for fun? MC: Your sister How could you not use a line like that? Leaving: C1: I ran into all of my friends today. C2: All two of them

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

j-cat — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 04:18:23 -0600

[quote=Kareman] "He/she put the promise in promiscuity" [/quote] Oh yeah! Taking!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

j-cat — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 04:25:33 -0600

Yes to stupidity!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

TwilightSparkle — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 08:20:53 -0600

MMC: (while packing) Shirt... pants... shirt... jacket... pants... socks... MMC2: (while packing) Jacket.... pants... shirt... pants... shirt... shirt... FMC: (while packing) Shirt... bra... shirt... jacket... bra.... tampons... MMC and MMC2 give each other disgusted looks. FMC: I'm a girl. Get over it. C1: (argument with C2) C2: (argument with C1) C1: (storms off, huffing) C3: Great job, buddy. You broke him/her. C1: I suggest getting your act together before I get very agitated and decide to stab someone with a spork. C2: Don't try him/her. S/He's stabbed me before. C1: Kill me. C2: Okay! C3: He was kidding, C2! C2: Oh... Darn. C1: Why would I do {insert bad thing here}? C2: Because that's what you do. C1: You suck. But you're completely true, and for that I respect you. C1: Every member of this team is emotionally compromised! C2: Except me. I just really hate you guys.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

whargdfa — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 12:27:18 -0600

Leaving: C1: “…You have a kitten concealed about your person.” C2: “That’s right.” C1: “And her name is a synonym for ‘prostitute’.” XD! The kitten's name was Trollop, which I think is rather adorble, but other synonyms for 'prostitute' that might work are Floozy and Strumpet. An irishman was keeping her in the pocket of his trenchcoat, and this conversation happened while he and FMC were tunneling out of prison. o.O... Keep or change whatever you like!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Luthian11235813 — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 14:27:33 -0600

What makes the last one truly hilarious is that 2+4+6+3=15.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Drohd-b — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 14:36:09 -0600

LOL! I can use some of these! thanks

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

tyburn_cross — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 15:20:23 -0600

"I'd kill you, but then I'd have to bury the body."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

j-cat — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 17:42:07 -0600

Taking for sure!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

NerdFightsDalek — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 17:24:10 -0600

Who wants to hug Tesla? Hahahahahahahah.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Lucy_Pryde — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 18:15:14 -0600

C1: Will you marry me? C2: Are you Bill Gates? C1: "Parting is such sweet sorrow." C2: I agree. Sweet because we're parting, and sorrowful because we will most likely meet again. Don't get ambitious; you are the chocolate candy bar in my grubby little paw, and the harder I squeeze, the softer you get.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Erica Cash — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 18:35:03 -0600

taking the crayons one, i nearly sprayed my computer laughing at it thanks :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Strytho — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 23:41:41 -0600

not really, it's a joke about twilight.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

5LittleDuckies — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 23:50:35 -0600

"Imagine a skinny Winnie the Pooh with Bieber hair, screaming terrified profanities with a Welsh accent." (An attempt to describe to a friend a really rather surreal situation I found myself in earlier tonight.)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

bloodonmytypewriterkeys — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 03:26:26 -0600

19thd (obviously a lot of HG fans here).

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

bloodonmytypewriterkeys — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 03:29:11 -0600

Just randomly, first one reminds me of Catch-22, where the guy was in love with the prositute. /offtopic

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

bloodonmytypewriterkeys — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 04:36:08 -0600

Sounds perfect for my PROtagonist.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

anontfwriter — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 10:19:12 -0600

Taking: Many Leaving: I'm not totally useless, I can be used as a bad example!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

jaspar lydirck — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 13:55:14 -0600

[quote=Madkatt] Heres some from last year I would explain it to you, but I am fresh out of crayons. I do have a sense of humour. For example, I'd laugh hysterically if you got run over." "You forgot the ammunition?" I could have shot him. Except, of course - no bullets. C1: You're not dead. C2: No. C1: Congratulations. That was actually a pretty good one. I'm shocked it came from your mind. "Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people." [/quote] Oh my gosh, I am SO using the "sarcasm" and "humor" ones!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

jaspar lydirck — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 14:15:10 -0600

LOVE this thread! Just added 300 more words from an idea I got from one of them! Hm...I'll leave: C1:" Unbelievable!" C2: taking his/her physical appearance in- "Yes, you very much are." (can be used for either extreme beauty or extreme ugliness.)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Teide — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 15:27:32 -0600

Oh wow, I love this one! I'll definitely try and squeeze it in somewhere. :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Shizuru1412 — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 23:53:22 -0600

Because I've taken a lot, I guess I should at least leave something. C1: *holding a corpse* Cop: You there! What do you think you are doing!? C1: Crap! ... No, officer, I'm not carrying a corpse around or anything, it's just a blow up doll! Cop: In that case, carry on then. Or something like that. xD

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

creatorx2 — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 04:33:12 -0600

No shizbucket, these are actually pretty good.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

creatorx2 — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 04:37:18 -0600

"Did you not see the explosions...?” “I don't know what explosions look like." (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sqz5dbs5zmo - reference to this video)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

yngstaflika — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 04:55:22 -0600

20thed! (Don't Panic.)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

GhostThane — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 05:01:19 -0600

Off topic, but I love your Icon. :3

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

thimbleweed — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 13:10:29 -0600

Oh, wow, I've adopted so many I can't even list them all. Really, this has to be one of the best threads, ever.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

TheLiteraryMaiden — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 16:41:09 -0600

This one is for my ragtag group of misadventurers: C1: "Hey... you don't think they'd leave us in here, right?" C2: "No one would be that horrible." SaneOne: "Or that smart." C1: It wasn't so bad. C2 You laughed. C1: A moment of weakness. *walking through bloody restroom* MC: Ugh, that's horrible! Why aren't there doors on these cubicles! *steps over corpse* "If we break his legs, he can't come over and work off the money he owes me. My porch has stairs." (got this one from a fanfic though)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

DnDmasterslayer — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:21:54 -0600

Well I've taken a few so I feel obligated to leave some. So voila; V;"okay okay maybe I'm not 'sane' as you put it, but I'm not evil either. I mean look at yourself! Trying to defend someone else when you could survive?" mMC; "yeah. I wonder at that sometimes to but I'm mostly in this for the fun, the glory, and the money I'm paid to keep person who's name I'm not revealing) from dying. So yeah here I am, 2000 years after I kicked your but and settled things to do it all over again. Cept you have a bomb this time so....." And my personal favorite exclamation; "HOLY GUACAMOLE!!!"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

RoboPhantom — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 23:02:35 -0600

"Teddy Roosevelt! I need you, zombie president!"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Lupana Ridae — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 23:10:26 -0600

Ohhh, the child one is PERFECT for my novel!!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Laice_P_S_Enoon — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 07:11:52 -0600

"Hey look I may be a weasel, but thats ok because while eagles may soar, weasels dont get stuck in jet engines" C1 '"I have $100 in this hand and $100 dollars in this hand and I going to give you one what whould that mean?" C2 "That you only have $100 and I have $100" C1 "No wrong! it would either mean i'm an idiot ..." C2 "well your not an idiot" C1 "or you've got to make me one happy man" C2 "Oh ... bugger" C1 "To the bedroom!"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

troutrd2011 — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 08:11:55 -0600

Teacher: "I'm very impressed how you can talk and do your work at the same time." Student: " Was that a compliment or were you being sarcastic?" Teacher: "Seriously? If you have to ask..."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Luthian11235813 — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 20:40:11 -0600

My brother said this to me while we were watching a movie tonight, "I believe it would be very difficult to kill someone with a forklift." I thought it would be a fantastic villanistic exchange.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Frenzy — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 13:37:10 -0600

[C1] "Don't move..." [C2] "W- why?" *[C1] repeatedly hits [C2] over the head with a newspaper while [C1] screams. [C1] stops.* [C2] "Did you get hit?" [C1] *Grins* "Get what?"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Dannycakes — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 17:59:16 -0600

C1:There that should do. FC: What's that for? C1: To give you guys a cover, so if they pass, they won't suspect anything. FC: And what exactly are they supposed to think when they see two teenagers under a blanket? C1: (Grins)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

DaniLynn — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 18:10:59 -0600

"I'm not crazy..." (lowers voice) "But that other girl...That's a different story..."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

kayla_writes — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 20:06:50 -0600

Probably gonna adopt a few of these for my villain <3

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

kayla_writes — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 20:08:02 -0600

Probably gonna adopt the ""He always sounds so happy when she's trying to kill him." but switch the genders around.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

stackismyblack — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 08:09:04 -0600

I'm gonna use this line but I still wanted to share it :3 He grabbed my waist, pulled me close and kissed me. I wanted to shove him off me, yell at him, possibly even slap him, or even use a carefully thought out mixture of all three. Instead, I gave in to the warm feel of his big stupid puffy lips against mine.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

cougarswithguns — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 08:54:02 -0600

this might not make sense out of context, but oh well: “This sounds more like your perverted ramblings rather than something that could be considered informative.” (the only way to defeat a creature in my novel is by literally making it touch itself, and this was the reaction my MC had when this was explained to him:) MC: "Sounds like the ultimate game of ‘stop touching yourself’." C1: “Alright, fine. Anything for my favorite sibling.” C2: “I’m your only sibling.” C3: “And yet it wasn’t a unanimous vote…”

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Droselli — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 10:31:39 -0600

I am taking that third one about the Ammunition. It'll be perfect for my fanfic/novel!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

kharizzmatik — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 10:44:47 -0600

[quote=iLove] C1: How could you say that? C2: It's easy, my vocal chords vibrate and my mouth and tongue anunciate! I can do it without even thinking! [/quote] This is a perfect line for my MC and his father, the doctor, who is constantly responding with medical jargon. Will be tweaking.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

TearsOnAJournal — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 11:14:14 -0600

C1: "Stop acting so oblivious." C2: "Ah, so that's the word. I usually consider myself as an absent minded bad ass." - That's my line from last year :D I'm flattered to find it here this year :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Dragoncharmer — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 12:03:05 -0600

Mandarin Lime sounds awesome. I love lime.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

decodedjoy — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 14:04:45 -0600

Wow, I was laughing out loud at so many of these! AND I'm taking so many of these! Thanks, friends! :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

allisnow — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 14:05:55 -0600

Just heard this in an interview on the news and thought someone might be able to use it, or a variation. "Do you think you're eccentric?" "I am now that I'm rich. I used to just be weird."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Kyran Rose — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 15:05:17 -0600

Adopting the Female line, my MC would totally mutter this at someone.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line -mild threats

Lynne M-S — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 15:42:42 -0600

[Double Post removed]

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line -mild threats

Lynne M-S — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 15:45:55 -0600

here are a few i admit i have used in classrooms - well after the kids and i learned each others' sense of humour... "Do that one more time and I'll wipe your face with a brick!" "I'll rip your arm off, and hit you with the soggy end!" (admitting, that's borrowed from a brit comedy tv show) "Go and tell [ terrifying character] he wants you." "You'll look good, wearing the wall!" (And, to assure the PC members, "No children were hurt or wounded in any of these segments". In fact they laughed - the whole class. And started using them as well.)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line -mild threats

Lynne M-S — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 15:46:54 -0600

Corrected version follows (No delete option nor edit option.)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Dannycakes — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 17:21:07 -0600

I am taking the arm-ripping one. Good for my sarcastic MCbestfriend. To say with a smile \^-^/

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

sarali — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 17:43:32 -0600

"I know what's around the corner! That's not the problem. The problem is, that I don't know where the corner is." taking! it fits my story right now so well.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Andicandy87 — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 22:07:47 -0600

21 umm would that be twenty firsted?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Tessenchan — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 04:06:42 -0600

Sneeeerk. I love all three of those.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Dragoncharmer — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 20:08:02 -0600

Just kill me now! If you say so! It was a figure of speech. Aww... no fair... Just an elaboration on your line.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

reachforthesky — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 20:15:31 -0600

Hah! Manpire.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

lcmortensen — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 02:47:27 -0600

Inspired by Prime Minister of New Zealand Rob Muldoon's drunken comment calling a snap election in June 1984. Coach - "You're playing too much in centre field. If the ball gets stuck in centre field, we aren't going to score any points." Player - "If the ball gets stuck in centre field, the opposition isn't going to score any points either."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Steampunk avi8or — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 18:55:37 -0600

I'm actually using this in my own novel but feel free to nab it. People might have stared, but that was okay. They needed a little excitement; it kept their bowel movements regular.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Dark.Angel — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 14:09:49 -0600

Get out of my happy bubble or I swear I'll beat you with my flute. (for someone who doesn't swear too much) You are such a... piece of... cheese!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

cassiarta — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 14:29:11 -0600

I have one so similar to your sarcasm one! C1: Is that supposed to be a comforting thought? C2 (debating): No, not necessarily. C1: That was kind of a rhetorical question. (thinks: it was such a shame when good sarcasm was wasted on such literal people.) C2: Sounded like one. You should probably work on your tone of voice when you ask those types of ‘rhetorical’ questions. It actually did sound like you were asking-- C1: Yeah, yeah I get the point. kind of a long one and it needs context but :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

cassiarta — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 14:31:57 -0600

LOL the first one, I might not be able to use it for my nano this year but I have a different story in which it would be PERFECT. :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

cassiarta — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 14:34:54 -0600

I love this one! C1: "So there I was, confronted by a five year old asking me if someone had punched me in the neck and contemplating the eternal question: which is worse, sex or violence?" I prob won't ever use it, but it just brought a smile to his face :D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

cassiarta — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 14:47:34 -0600

I'm using these too in my novel but feel free to use it Girl 1: Think of all the hot guy's we're missing at Elaine's party! Girl 2: We're stranded halfway between -place- and -place- because my car broke down and you're thinking of hot guys? Jeez, what's wrong with you? *Girl 1 is holding a curling iron* Girl 2: Noooo, no no no no. Last time I let you curl my hair, I ended up looking like a creepy doll.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Sandy Crow — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 23:41:55 -0600

22ed

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

melwrites312 — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 00:08:32 -0600

I can use the sibling one! Thanks!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

lexy1006 — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 01:21:12 -0600

I didn't use this in a story but whenever my younger sister is in a bad mood it always brings out my sarcastic side :) "Wow, did you wash your sense of humor off in the shower?" Many good quotes between us sisters... Dad: 'Please girls, no fighting.' D1: 'Dad, we're not fighting. This is how we get along.' Sister1 says something about her being the best child. Sister2 retorts. Parents don't appreciate the banter. Sister1: "They're just mad because they know it's true." Sister2: "It's comments like those that requires comments like ours." that's all I can remember at the moment :/

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

lexy1006 — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 01:27:06 -0600

Not sure how to edit so I thought I'd reply...sorry if this breaks any rules about double posting :/ To make a friend laugh I like to exclaim ridiculous things. "Holy banana pancakes.' This gets longer the more mind boggling something is. ex. 'Holy banana pancakes and canadian maple syrup'

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Educ8rKP — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 12:37:58 -0600

This is one from the book I'm working on now (though it's not X-Men, think X-Men when you read it) : C1, to C2: "So, what can you do?" C2: "Dance like a chicken and make funny smells?”

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

QueenofDreamers — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 16:36:21 -0600

I am taking SO MANY of these, thanks to all the genius writers who posted! And now I'll leave a few of my own... C1: (comes across C2 writhing in pain on the floor.) Did you hurt yourself? C2: *glare* Pepsi *any soda* tastes like carbonated Pine-Sol. C1: (shouting to his best friend) Hurry up, my back's killing me! C2: Your face has been killing me for years. Get over it! Hope someone likes these...

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

QueenofDreamers — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 16:47:29 -0600

Oh, and one more I forgot - C1: (threatening) I'll make you curse your mother for giving birth to you! C2: (indignantly) You leave my mother out of it!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

MurillionBlue — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 19:19:49 -0600

I have a whole lot here, mostly looted from my novel. C1: “Don’t insult my cousin!” C2: “Why not? _You_ don’t like her.” [C1 has just said something insulting to C2] C2: "I’ll make you eat those words!” C1: “It is physically impossible for any humanoid to consume sound waves. Not to mention the difficulty with mastication." *C3 laughs* C1: "It means 'chew'." C1: "I'm doing this under proteest." C2: "Protest noted." And a couple for a prophet to say: "Disaster will strike if the heroes are not found in time. Chaos will ensue if she is taken. The world will end if I miss Buffy because of you, you damn kid." and "Trust me, I'm a prophet." "Parallelepipeds are purple." Bonus points if you put it in a serious context. [after an alien invasion] “Why?! There are no cows on this planet!” “Your Princess is on another planet.” [C1 has a hammer] C2: “What are you doing?" C1: “Breaking the fourth wall.” *smashes fourth wall* "Get my hands away from there!" C1: “You’re an idiot.” C2: “Rubber glue, back to you. Or, as Dr. Sheldon Cooper would say, ‘I’m polymerized tree sap and you’re an organic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns to its original trajectory and adheres to you.’.” something for the Narrator to say: Remember when [character] broke the fourth wall earlier? It still isn’t fixed. The builders in charge keep encountering bugs. Large bugs. Muahahahaha!!!!! Um... Please ignore that. "No! The lamppost! It will eat your souls! Run, before it’s too late!" C1: “What is a clothes dryer doing walking along the street?” C2: “They do that occasionally.” "Well, excuse me, Princess." Bonus points if its said to a guy. “How can you tell the difference between left socks and right socks?” “Left socks smell like caramel." “And what do right socks smell like?” “Socks.” "I have to go iron my dog."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

MurillionBlue — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 19:24:09 -0600

And one I forgot: C1: “Shut your face!” C2: “How? Yet another example of your lack of intelligence. Were you the top of the class?” C1: “Of course! I passed with 98%!” C2: “What did you get wrong? Was it the square root of four? It’s irrational, you know.” C1: *checks on calculator* "It is not!" C2: "You had to check a calculator?" (For anyone wondering, the square root of 4 is 2.)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

MurillionBlue — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 19:58:38 -0600

And even more, looted from some of my older stories: Back to the thing mistakenly referred to as a plot. Greetings! This is the new Narrator. Everything you have just read is a lie. "Bazookas have feelings, too." C1: "Are you reading over my shoulder?" C2: "No, I'm reading through your torso." The Narrator had sabotaged (c1)'s bike, so that while they were biking, it collapsed under him, leaving (c2) riding ahead on her own. The Narrator captured (c1) and took him to the Narrator's castle, locking him in the dungeon, where he was subjected to cruel and unusual punishments. (c2) received his corpse in the mail a week later. Just joking. (character) reached for the Bazooka. But the Bazooka wasn't there, as it was at a family reunion. It was not enjoying itself. And so they frolicked in a nearby meadow for a few minutes, until (character) got bored. Then they went and played WarCraft. [after talking about gravity] "And that had nothing to do with the gravity of the situation."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

A.Madele — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 20:56:11 -0600

"Ah, but the best part is you don't HAVE to understand. If you got it, then you'd have killed me already!" - An Overcomplicated Villain C1 "I see. That's fascinating. Really it is." C2 "What is? I didn't say anything." C1 "But that's just it. That's what is so fascinating. Normally you never shut up."] C1 "Did you know that cats have nine nipples?" C2 "...No they don't." C1 "They do, it's so they can feed all their kittens." C2 "I'm not arguing that they have plenty of nipples. I'm arguing that they don't have nine." C1 "Well then how many to you propose they have?" C2 "Y'know... Nevermind. I'll let you think they have nine." (The following characters are NOT related, and should have only recently met) C1 "Hey, you're making a midnight snack?" C2 "Yep." C1 "Mashed potatoes, huh?" C2 (tiredly) "Yep." C1 "Hey, remember when your mom used to put peas in and mix them all up so you'd eat your peas?" C2 "...My mother never did that." C1 "Really? Mine did. Yours should have, too. Are you sure she didn't?" C2 "Yes, I'm sure." C1 "Huh." And finally: C1 "Oh man." C2 "What?" C1 "I fell asleep during the DVD." C2 "Oh, I'm sorry." C1 "That's okay, that's why you put DVDs on anyways, right? So you fall asleep?" --Please note, the three C1-C2 dialogues are based off of REAL CONVERSATIONS I had with a presumed lunatic who I had only JUST MET that night. O.o

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

PhantomDream — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 00:21:44 -0600

22nded. I have a quote from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy on my wall...

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Windywords — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 16:01:24 -0600

Everyone's immortal until they die.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

TwilightSparkle — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 21:16:57 -0600

"I keep trying and trying to pay attention... but your voice... it's like listening to elevator music." C1: What's wrong? C2: C3 and C4 are arguing. C1: Normal stuff or pregnancy hormone stuff? C2: Pregnancy hormone stuff. I think C4 was yelling about cereal. C1: What about- C2: Nope. C1: Or maybe- C2: Can't. C1: Well, how about- C2: He moved. C1: Well, we can- C2: To Australia. C1: Isn't that- C2: It's in a different hemisphere. How did you get into high school, again? C1: You know you're irritating, correct? C2: Yes, and I exploit it. C1: Want to go catch a movie? C2: I'd rather eat my own foot. "I don't murder all of my dates, but if you keep it up, you'll be the first." C1: If we don't do something, we'll be trapped here eternally. C2: Like, forever? C1: Thank you, C2, for that insightful definition of the word 'eternally.' "What? I thought we decided I would be the first to get arrested! That's it! The second we get home, I'm stealing a goat or something." C1: Are we just going to sit here and wallow in self pity? C2: Oh great, a speech. MMC: What's up with her? FMC: Oh, she's got her first date. Studying. MMC: I remember studying... (chuckles, then freezes) You might want to keep her door open. "Just know that we're all wearing guns, and we don't want {female character} to get hurt, okay?" C1: Did you really have to embarass her like that? I mean, if not for her benefit, than for your own. I'm gonna have to hear all about this later tonight, when I want to be sleeping. When I don't get a good night's sleep, I'm a monster in the morning, and who do I see in the morning? Oh, that's right--YOU. C2: Oh, C1, you're a monster every morning. C1: (glare) C1: I need a freaking drink. C2: You're {underage age}. Drinking is illegal. C1: Fine. I need a freaking cookie.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

cerulean-glass — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 22:05:17 -0600

Haha, so I was just chatting with my friend and came up with two: C1: How's the weather? C2: You can see it too. You're right there. C1 (asks a very strange question): It's a perfectly normal question, really. C2: Yup, perfectly normal. Right up there with "How's the weather?"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Amarantawriter23 — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 21:16:23 -0600

C1: I blame you. C2: What? Why me? I had nothing to do with this! C1: I don't know. Because you're right here and it's easier to blame others for my stupidity.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

meggie358 — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 11:33:38 -0600

No taking, but this made me laugh soooooo hard! Thanks for making my day! :D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

meggie358 — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 11:36:00 -0600

[quote=TwilightSparkle] MMC: (while packing) Shirt... pants... shirt... jacket... pants... socks... MMC2: (while packing) Jacket.... pants... shirt... pants... shirt... shirt... FMC: (while packing) Shirt... bra... shirt... jacket... bra.... tampons... MMC and MMC2 give each other disgusted looks. FMC: I'm a girl. Get over it. [/quote] I.Love. This. Made me laugh! Taking! :D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

meggie358 — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 11:39:58 -0600

Using in my stoy, but feel free to use it too! " {Name}, who the hell was that and why was she freaking *eating* your face?"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Sayaren — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 08:06:33 -0600

Heard this one IRL: (Can't remember how the beginning of the conversation went, but these are the ending lines) “I don’t think a rapist rapes everyone he’s ever met.” (male speaker) “Just the pretty ones!” (female speaker. I couldn't tell if she was serious or joking. They walked out of earshot right after this) These are just ones I thought up: FMC: “Why did I take you with me again?” MMC: “Because you’re hot and I have nothing better to do.” FMC: “…” MMC: “And also because I’m blackmailing you.” FMC: “Oh yeah.” “Every time you open your mouth, you make me want to punch something.” “But there isn’t anything around here to punch.” “That just leaves you then.” “I can be patient!” 30 seconds later… “THIS IS TAKING FOREVER!”

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Nasokoukaii — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 12:59:51 -0600

These three actually happened... Avery: "I blame yooooouuuuu....." Me:"Why me!? Why do you always blame me!?" Avery: "You're fun to blame." Me: *twitch* "..." Avery: "..." *15 seconds later* Me: "...What type of reason is that!?" *me and Avery talking about a Death Note fan-fic we made called Life Note* Me: It's like, "Y!" Avery (acting as Y, L's counterpart): "For science!" Me: "No, Y!" Avery: "For science! I told you that!" Me: "No, Y!" Avery: "FOR SCIENCE!" Me: *facepalm* "No, your name is Y! Y!" Avery: "Ohhhhh....What?" Me: "Why do you keep saying 'for science'?" Avery: ".............................................................................FOR SCIENCE!!" *walking into the gym* Avery: Why are we here? What did we do wrong? Me: Maybe we're going to meet Kira. Avery: Why!? Me *in my imitation of a creepy voice*: We know that he's Light... Avery: What...!? Me: He's going to kill us! Avery: Oh, yay! :D And this is one I have in my story I'm typing. “Keep it down; we’re in a church…” “IT’S A BOOKSTORE!!” Corpse Bride reference! :3

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Nasokoukaii — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 13:02:33 -0600

And one more I forgot...This one actually happened. Again. *me and Avery are talking about some anime* Me: Oh yeah! Avery: What? Me *smiling evily*: The game! Avery *play glaring at me*: I hate you.....

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

wingch — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 22:52:33 -0600

This from my Christmas Dinner: C1: All my friends are backstabbers! C2: We're in America - remember? You pronounce it Po-li-ti-cian.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

lionhuntermo — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 09:04:10 -0600

really wanted to use this in my story, but I just rewrote the scene... C1: [says something philosophical sounding. I used: "'Should be' doesn't mean 'is'."] C2: "What are you, a freaking fortune cookie?" C1: "Signs point to 'yes'." C2: "That's a Magic Eight Ball, you moron."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

wingch — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 08:48:19 -0600

They who live in glass houses should change in the basement.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

jaytee9 — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 01:12:21 -0600

23rd-ed Honestly, can we get this to 42thed?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

ElliMelody — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 14:06:39 -0600

An expansion of the second one(That I am totally using in my novel) C1: "Fear the penguins." C2: "Those aren't penguins." C1: "Crap."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

ElliMelody — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 14:33:19 -0600

Seriously just took 90% of these. They are awesome and perfect for my characters!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Liberty Girl — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 21:51:17 -0600

That reminds me of my little brother!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Taelia — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 14:52:00 -0600

I came up with one I am using in my fanfic, I don't think it's as funny as most of the others on here. (Robin and Mira are dating. They are out at a diner with some friends, Robin is talking and Mira is waiting for her Ice Cream Sundae...once she gets it...she takes the cherry off the sundae and makes a motion like she's gonna feed it to Robin.) Mira:*coos* Open up.. Robin:No thanks babe. Mira: Oh come on, it wouldn't be the first time you popped my cherry.... or...something like that....

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

frenziedmythology — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 20:14:28 -0600

I'm taking the "You're not dead" one. Thanks!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

helltank — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 02:27:22 -0600

[Talking about the best way to deal with a monster] C1:We need to find and attack its weak spot. C2:How do you suggest we attack its groin?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Taelia — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 23:55:58 -0600

I just remembered this from 2 Sundays ago, during the Ravens vs Patriots football game. My dad made one of those oven pizzas and got himself a piece right after it came out the oven. He bit into it and burned his mouth cuz it was still hot. My sis asked him if it just came out of the oven and this is what they said: Dad: Ah! I burnt my mouth, it's still hot. Sis: Did you just take a piece? Dad: Yeah, it just came out the oven. Sis: *sarcastically* Gee, I wonder why it's hot.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

RoboPhantom — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:14:19 -0600

C1: "Goodnight, C2" (or some variant) C2: (Smiling innocently) "Goodnight, and may the worthless cesspool that is humanity prevent itself from destroying the world for another day."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Taelia — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:15:52 -0600

I just heard this one today while watching 'The Chew' "I'm not overweight, I'm just under-tall"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

KatieHere — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:42:02 -0600

36th-ed! Going by the posts, but 24rd-ed if your going by the amount of people who said number-ed! =)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

KatieHere — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:47:22 -0600

Best. Icon. Ever. =) Oh, and I'm taking them all!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

All Things Bright and Beautiful — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 11:11:08 -0600

I love your icon! Just saying...

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Drohd-b — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 17:51:30 -0600

Eight-year-old boy: I don't forget anything! Mom still isn't sure whether that's a blessing or a curse...

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

TotalNerd — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 14:18:24 -0600

C1: As I'm sure you realize, that is not the point. C2: Who cares about 'the point'? I like to stay as far away from points as possible; they're sharp.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Silhouette. — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 18:39:16 -0600

These made my life.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Taelia — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 14:53:16 -0600

C1: Why did the chicken cross the road? C2: *annoyed* To stab you with a spork.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

EaterOfWaffles — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 16:27:15 -0600

Lines from my classmates: "Also, Taylor Swift was my backup singer." "Since when were you an airplane?" "Since gym." "I don't feel like getting another black eye." "But then you could be a panda!" *while reading Romeo and Juliet* "You are too hot-TEMPERATURE WISE!" "You're not going to command respect with onions." "So then this hot dog turns everyone into zombies..." "Let's go to Canada!" "We're in Newfoundland." "OH MY GOD WE"RE HERE!"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

QueenofDreamers — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 11:58:23 -0600

C1: We could be, like, in cahoots! C2: No good. I work alone. C1: OK, well, I could go incognito! I've been incognito. It's fun. C2: No, C1. I told you: I work alone. C1: (dreamily, to himself) I've been insane once, too. (turns to C2) And - hey, you know what? They didn't have an airport. C1: What're you reading? C2: The Complete Idiot's Guide to *whatever* C1: Oh. C2: You could always object to the way they phrased that. Twenty bucks says that guy got dropped on his head as a baby. C1: Where are you taking me?! Villain: Aren't you hungry? C1: Well, yes! Why don't you drop me off at McDonald's.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Alais DuBois — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 15:52:34 -0600

I can't use it, but it made me laugh! :D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Feliciia Winters — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 19:43:48 -0600

God I love this thread. Taking...a bunch. Leaving: I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones. If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out. I am who I am. I do not seek your approval. Between two evils, I always try to pick the one I’ve never tried. I’m not saying you’re stupid I’m just implying it. I’m bored…run for your sanity. Never do anything you don’t want to explain to the cops or paramedics.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

cindy9712 — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 09:44:10 -0600

Totally off-topic... But I love your icon!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

MariahBurkett — Sun, 04 Mar 2012 05:21:18 -0600

24th-ed

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

MariahBurkett — Sun, 04 Mar 2012 05:39:08 -0600

[quote=Miss-Q-10] Female Character: ...Yes, please. Just walk right in. It's not like I could have been naked or anything. [/quote] I read this during Nano and now I use it whenever my sisters walk into my room without asking XD

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

ShiyardiaGariepy — Sun, 04 Mar 2012 23:16:36 -0600

25thed

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Fantasy-Is-Reality — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 03:40:56 -0600

Actual conversation between my fiance (C1) and myself (C2): C1: You get identical twins, you know. C2: No shit. They come from the same egg. C2: Not always, there are non-identical ones too. C1: That has the be the most well-kept secret in the history of the universe.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

DarkOwl — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 21:49:51 -0600

I'll be adopting: C1: [growls] I'm going to kill you. C2: [coos] Aww. Your struggle to hide your deep affection does wonders for my ego! and What's life without a little adventure?" "Safe?" for my Script Frenzy.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

DarkOwl — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 22:04:15 -0600

For Script Frenzy, I may adopt: "I think about death everyday. I think about YOU everyday. It's funny how often the two thoughts coincide." "If only you were able to stop being such an idiot, I wouldn't have to hate you as much." "I really dislike you. Honestly, it keeps me up at night." "If you ever do want to know my opinion, rest assured it will always be that you're an incredible pain." "Don't look her in the eyes - she'll steal your soul." "They say things happen for a reason. So remember, when I murder you heavy, blunt object, I had a reason." "And what part of 'I'm taking a bath' did you take to mean 'come on in'?" "Will you please sit down, shut up, and at least PRETEND like you MIGHT have some sort of a brain?" C1- Have you no conscience! C2 - Of course I do! It's in a little silver box at the back of my closet screaming, "Let me out, let me out! You're making bad choices!” C1: "Now why would I do that?" C2: "Because you love me." C1: "I most certainly do *not* love you; I don't even*like* you!" C2: "Okay, I'll admit that much. But you *do* hate me marginally less than you hate everyone else." C1: "The key word there being *marginally*." "Name! Are you alright? How are you..?" "I'm fine, I'm fine. Only hurts when I breathe. I am fine." "... so do you want help or not?" "... no, I want to know if a granny skirt is fashionable this year. Yes, I want help. Twit." C1: Oh, bite me. C2: How hard I think you've covered almost every single one of my characters, except for the one that speaks only in French. Thanks ^_^

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

heimarmenee — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 22:40:40 -0600

Seconded! (here we go again^)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

heimarmenee — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 22:43:16 -0600

[quote=simplypirate] You will need a very large suitcase, or a highly compactable boyfriend. [/quote] LOL, I so want that.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

ARealHope — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 08:49:40 -0600

Snagging!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

ARealHope — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 08:51:22 -0600

Taking the panda one!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

japeningrish — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 10:56:34 -0600

25th-ed. That book is too many forms of awesome.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

heimarmenee — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 17:07:12 -0600

[quote=Dragoncharmer] There was no need to clarify my finger snap. The implication was clear in the snap itself. [/quote] Magnus Bane FTW.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

DarkOwl — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 20:53:09 -0600

[quote=Cephalopodesque] "You tortured them to death, didn't you?" "Er… I may have." "See, this is why no one likes you!" [/quote] Might be borrowing this for Script Frenzy, as there is a rather large amount of wanton torture.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

DarkOwl — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 21:08:58 -0600

Adopting: C1:Will you tell me you love me? C2:You love me. for Script Frenzy.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

ShiyardiaGariepy — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 21:13:09 -0600

Since every year i steal this entire thread for word prompts later on down the road I thought i would leave one this year since i'm not the create a witty anything kinda person. "I'm a full service husband." I know not very good but hey i'm more of the build a character through character sheets kinda person

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

DarkOwl — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 21:15:49 -0600

Using the bored face to insult the newbie in our government agency in Script Frenzy... yays.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

DarkOwl — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 18:36:27 -0600

Adopting: C1: How important am I to you? C2: Well, let me put it this way: if you and a cherry pie were on a sinking boat and I could only save one of you, I'd take the cherry pie. C1: Seriously? C2: Seriously. C1: Well that's harsh. C2: I know. Especially because I hate cherry pie. Though the cherry pie may be changed to something else.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Scarlet Siverweaver — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 23:31:06 -0600

I'm taking too many to list... Leaving: Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars, and I thought to myself...WHERE IS MY CEILING?! Evil beware: we have waffles. Do you smell it? That kind of smelly smell, that smelly smell that smells... smelly. Wow, can you believe we've gotten 40 pages of conversation in one day? I rarely have and words of wisdom but I have heard of a few quotes. Zombies will one day take over the world, and the only defense we will have against them will be gamers. I'm sort of rich. I can rent anything I want! I hope someday to make you all a cup of coffee. Alright peace. C1: On a scale of one to ten, how much trouble are we in now? C2: Twelve. It's curtains for you. Lacy, gently wafting curtains. All generalizations are bad. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. If you are still determined to take your own life, please do so outside... Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car. After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles." Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? Teacher: Why don't you have your homework? C1: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? C1: What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? C2: In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. C1: Who are you and how did you get in here? C2: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Drohd-b — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 19:42:58 -0600

taking pretty much all of them. those are great!!! thanks! you're helping out my plot. especially the illusion one...drat! now I might have to write!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Drohd-b — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 22:38:03 -0600

You can all hear that, right? Have you ever seen this before? I have. I looked out my window one day, and there it was. It's a chicken moose! c1:The right eye needs to be bigger. c2:(seriously offended)No! It's too small! *silence*

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Laurence — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 08:52:15 -0600

"Please get that toxic breath of yours out of my face." "I ordered a pizza, not an obnoxious, teenage delivery boy." "Remember when I told you to dig a hole and die in it? Well, don't worry, I'm sure I have the time to do it for you." "Wow, you managed to say an eight letter word. That's at least four letters more than your brain could usually handle." "Since when did you have any muscle?" *Character who C1 hates walks into the room* C1: "Is it me, or did it just get ugly in here?" "Any blind, deaf, mute girl, without the sense smell would be lucky to have you." C1: "You're a horrible person, you know that?" C2: "Ha, please! If I wanted to be horrible, I wouldn't have had the decency to drug you before I shaved your eyebrows." C1: "You've got to meet me half way, here." C2: "No. No, I don't. You've got to accept this offer. Otherwise, I'm gonna make your school life even more pathetic than it already is." "Everytime I see you it's like my eyes want to puke." C1: "So, how did your date go?" C2: "Brilliant! Great! I couldn't have asked for a better night. I mean, I may have accidently set her dress on fire, and made her nose start gushing blood, but it's not like she's going to file a restraining order against me, or anything." C1: "You think he's finally dead now?" C2: "No. I'm sure that the doctors can reattach his head." "You really are the dumbest thing ever to walk the earth. I'm surprised you haven't accidently killed yourself, yet."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Neptunes Sea — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 11:06:25 -0600

"Please get that toxic breath of yours out of my face." "Since when did you have any muscle?" Perfect! :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Drohd-b — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 12:20:45 -0600

love your avatar!!!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

katehenri — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 15:10:43 -0500

Taking: A - "hey look a shooting star, let's make a wish!" B- "It's probably an airplane or something." A -"seriously out of everything that we've been through the last couple of days, can't we really just pretend that's a freaking shooting star!? will that be so hard to ask?" thanks for posting these :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

katehenri — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 15:18:55 -0500

Taking: C1: Having butterflies in your stomach is a sure sign of love! C2: Or a sign that you may have swallowed a caterpillar. and "I haven't had my morning coffee so I'm finding it difficult to find a more colourful way to say I don't care." all of these are great! thanks for posting

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

katehenri — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 15:20:37 -0500

Taking: "Do you think I'm stupid?" "Well I've had my suspicions." thanks!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

katehenri — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 20:52:23 -0500

taking The only reason I'm here is because heaven wouldn't have me and hell was afraid I'd take over.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

katehenri — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 20:55:40 -0500

taking "Do I detect a note of sarcasm?" "Buddy, you detect a whole symphony of it."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

katehenri — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 20:58:08 -0500

not taking this but P1: "Did you get a haircut?" P2:"No, I dyed the tips of my hair invisible. " is hilarious so saying this next time someone asks me if I get a haircut!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

katehenri — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 14:54:23 -0500

taking: C1: I have a plan. C2: Hit me. C1: As much as I'd like to, I should probably get on with the plan. so great thanks!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

katehenri — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 15:02:11 -0500

taking this is hilarious!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Luminosity.of.a.Shadow — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 11:42:07 -0500

[quote=Scarlet Siverweaver] If you are still determined to take your own life, please do so outside... [/quote] "Oh, you're so kind!" If I'm barking up the wrong tree, smile and nod and don't hold it against me... Leaving: (because otherwise I=offtopic as heck) "It's a feather quill? But what if it has rabies?!" "I think it's safe-" "GET THE LYSOL! QUICK!" *sigh* I can't say kicking you in the crotch seemed like a bad idea at the time. Or now. But it caused *insert some disaster*! Still worth it. *if the lottery pays into college financial aid in your story* C1: *to C3* They call the lottery the stupid tax for a reason... *C2 comes up with a pile of tickets* C2:...And, like, I didn't win ANYTHING! It was totally embarrassing. But I think I'll get lucky tomorrow! C3:...Thanks for the donation, C2. C2: Huh?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Drohd-b — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 15:28:25 -0500

Okay, here are a few I've been picking up along the way. The first two are from my church group and are supposed to be conversations with jesus: C1: You shaved! J: No, they pulled it out... C1: Wow, those wounds really are healing up nicely! I wasn't sure who it was, but as soon as he/she turned, I recognized their protruding forehead. So I'm asking you what C1 asked us to ask ourselves... I buy cheap Timex. Then when they run out, I buy another cheap Timex.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

harrypoter4ever — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 08:41:57 -0500

Snagging the third!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Drohd-b — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 15:32:21 -0500

We were at one of our first tae kwon do lessons when one of the black belts said this during a form: Right foot! No, not right foot. I mean, you moved the right foot. No, you moved the left foot, but it was the /right/ foot...do you know what I mean?

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

BookGoddessXIII — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 15:54:34 -0500

twenty-sixth-ed

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

BookGoddessXIII — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 15:57:39 -0500

"If you do that again, I swear that i will pull out all my hair and strangle you with it!" My friend actually said this...

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Scarlet Siverweaver — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 14:12:23 -0500

My librarian said this the other day at the book fair: Guys, the voices in my head don't like the competition. Now, shush.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Luthian11235813 — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 00:56:44 -0500

Good one from our house guest today: "He's a terrible man, a horrible human being, and he's one of my greatest friends." Villain? Cannibal? You pick it, it'll fit somewhere...

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Drohd-b — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 12:19:23 -0500

c1: (hesitantly) so...would you mind... c2: (excitedly) dying my hair black?! c1: yeah... c2: sure!!! c1: *stare* c2: was that too little thinking for you? okay. hmmm. suure? this was a conversation between my best friend and his mom over how much he was willing to get into his role ;)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

BookGoddessXIII — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 13:58:20 -0500

i second that.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Drohd-b — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 14:19:19 -0500

now during the process: c3: so what'll happen if you don't get wash the dye out? c2: my hair will disintegrate and melt, or, *gasp* c4's worst nightmare, i'll get split ends!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

TroubledTroubadour — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 16:29:59 -0500

Taking: He's a terrible man, a horrible human being, and he's one of my greatest friends. Leaving: It’s genetic. He’s like my fourth brother that I’ve never wanted.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

byrd77 — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 20:41:29 -0500

Twenty- seventhed

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line -mild threats

Cinderpaw — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 08:16:56 -0500

I'd like the "Go tell [terrifying character] that he wants you] quote! I've got a character that that would work perfectly, and one of her crewmates is really scary! :D

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

lily_dalbkce — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 10:43:08 -0500

C1: What's wrong with you? C2: Well if you really want to know, I can give you my therapist's number. S/he some very interesting theories.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

lily_dalbkce — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 11:00:43 -0500

This is where editing would be really handy. I forgot a couple: C1: I love being in charge, then I can just blame whoever is closest. C2: *Takes a step back* C1: *nods* Smart. (This happened in real life but C1 laughed and said "I like you, you're smart." alter as desired) C1: Where's the target C2: (C1s name) You are the target! (Another one that happened in real life, except the exchange was between like a four and five year old.) Teacher: *to class* Well do you use a harness when climbing trees? Class: *Laughs and says no* Teacher: Oh... Well you should. My brother got really hurt climbing a tree as a kid. I have one more but it's really bad. This is what my 8 year old brother said to my grandma: "What's the point of gay porn? Why don't you just look at yourself?"

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

MariahBurkett — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 13:13:16 -0500

26thed

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Celticsmc12 — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 20:51:49 -0500

I don't think you're lying.I'm just seriously doubting your sanity right now. C1:Do yo think there's a God? C2:I dunno...Why? C1:Someone's out to get me. Teacher:(After calling Mc's name ofr five mins straight) Mc!! MC: Hmm?Wat? Teacher: Ibsuad,wt state do you live in. MC(gris cheekily): Denial. Teacher: (Sighs) Wel,there's no denying that..

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

MariahBurkett — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 22:37:06 -0500

XD I've actually used that third one before

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Drohd-b — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 13:17:00 -0500

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh! I'm not the only hogan's heroes fan on here!!! *clears throat* I mean, I like your avatar.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Aerin's Heart's Song — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 05:18:57 -0500

I think I'll take "crayons" and "shocked it came from your mind" So good!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Aerin's Heart's Song — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 05:23:12 -0500

sooo adopting 12!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Jazlyn Cross — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 02:50:38 -0500

*Adopts the second line from the main poster* Oh yeah, I can picture Gao saying that XD

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Taelia — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 17:30:57 -0500

I seriously LOVE your brother after that XD Even if it won't work in my story right now, I WILL change it and MAKE that work. It's too funny to pass up.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Drohd-b — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 00:29:05 -0500

love this...for rl uses...i have plenty of "friends" who ask all the time...

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Andrew_Hennin — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 01:37:03 -0500

twentyeighthed

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Luthian11235813 — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 22:24:07 -0500

Okay, honest to goodness, I just had a serious conversation (four of the six participants were over fifty years of age) about jousting with chainsaws on segways. It started with just plain dueling chainsaws and how advantageous it would be to have a 40 incher when going up against a 32 inch one... then what about the hedging saws that go on poles, and from there it was a natural progression to do it on horseback, motorcycle, and, finally, segways. If you can EVER find a place for this in a script or novel PLEASE tell me about it!!!!!! The line that summed it all up: C1: "You know, you could actually joust with chainsaws." C2: "But it isn't safe to chainsaw with one hand." C1: "Yeah, but you could do it on a segway."

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Drohd-b — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 22:40:39 -0500

c1: i don't know where that came from...it must have been someone else's mind... if anyone uses this one, my friend wants to know ;)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

D.M. Lansberry — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 19:17:02 -0500

Taking a few of these! Thanks! :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

D.M. Lansberry — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 19:26:11 -0500

Hahaha taking it. :)

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Taelia — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 23:23:50 -0500

I am totally taking that. My main character does and says stupid things all the time, this would be perfect for her to say X3

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

angelgal1598 — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 08:23:07 -0500

Practically verbatim from an old TV show I used to watch and only recently re-discovered: C1: How do I look? C2: With your eyes. Too funny!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Drohd-b — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 23:24:33 -0500

my adorable six year old can say that!!! thank you!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

RoboPhantom — Tue, 01 May 2012 22:11:00 -0500

"Ah! I'm bleeding! Wait. Where am I bleeding? Oh. It's my forehead." ^ My sister, whose skin appears to spontaneously rupture without her knowledge.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Cheesypriestess — Thu, 03 May 2012 20:04:54 -0500

Yay for the bouncy ferret! *Post is a circle because Post has no point, but Post cares not for angularity*

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Cheesypriestess — Thu, 03 May 2012 20:06:53 -0500

That bit with the struggle to hide your deep affection would be perfect for a couple of my characters who are siblings! *Steals and runs away*

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Cheesypriestess — Thu, 03 May 2012 20:12:38 -0500

I love the second one!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Cheesypriestess — Thu, 03 May 2012 20:14:09 -0500

And goldfish already only have three-second memories, so...*sadly shakes head.*

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Cheesypriestess — Thu, 03 May 2012 20:15:09 -0500

Stealses! I need!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Cheesypriestess — Thu, 03 May 2012 20:21:06 -0500

So many of these are excellent...I'll definitely be adopting at least a few of them.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Cheesypriestess — Thu, 03 May 2012 20:31:39 -0500

Stealing the first two.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Cheesypriestess — Thu, 03 May 2012 20:34:59 -0500

I like. I steal. I plot to use.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Cheesypriestess — Thu, 03 May 2012 23:02:32 -0500

Yay fanfiction.net!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Cheesypriestess — Thu, 03 May 2012 23:03:42 -0500

I love the first one.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Tattered Wings — Fri, 04 May 2012 13:51:07 -0500

Twenty-ninthd.

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

Liberty Girl — Sat, 05 May 2012 09:02:38 -0500

Okay, one that line is wonderful. Two, your avatar! (I think that's what it's called?) Eeeee! Holy Roman Empire!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

nonamas — Thu, 17 May 2012 06:35:15 -0500

Adopting the three-liner, it's perfect. Merci beaucoup!

Re: Adopt a Witty/Humorous/Sarcastic Line

nonamas — Thu, 17 May 2012 06:43:45 -0500

[quote=Madkatt] If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong." C1: Put like that, it sounds like you don't care. C2: Sorry, I didn't mean to give you the impression I might. What's life without a little adventure?" "Safe?" C1: For the record, I blame you. C2: What!? This was your idea! C1: Well, you should've talked me out of it! C1: You are completely out of your mind!! C2: Duly noted. [/quote] These are all perfect fghkjkl, I am most definitely nabbing these! Thank you!!