Young and single!

Tika — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 13:19:04 -0700

I remember there being a thread like this 2 years ago and maybe last year... Why don't we have one this year? There are one for parents, for engaged Wrimos, for expecting Wrimos and I kinda feel left out. (Though the brooding topic did catch my eye.) So I dedicate this topic to singles, whether by choice or by circumstances, I welcome you here! Let's talk about the ups and downs of single life and rant if you feel like it. We understand you, even if no one else does ;) ~~~ For topic-starter, I broke up with my boyfriend 2 years ago, during my first NaNo. However, it wasn't because of NaNo, the relationship didn't really worked out since... a couple of months before. I just wanted to give it a chance, thinking maybe it's just one of those moods I'm in, but it became clear that it isn't the case. After that, I felt free (again) and relieved, then concentrated on my studies, but now... Now I would really like some development on that field. But again, first comes work. I need to find a job. Or am I overthinking it? *smoke comes out of her ears*

Re: Young and single!

mavjade — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 15:33:08 -0700

Ugh... I'm single. :( My fiance broke it off a little over a year ago, 1 month before our wedding. We had been together since high school (9 years) and decided to wait to get married until we were out of school, had jobs and relatively financially stable. While his timing could have been better it could have be much worse (we were about to buy a house) and we are still friends. But this now leaves me 27, having never been on a date as an adult which terrifies me! We've been broken up for over a year as I said and I haven't been out with anyone. There've been a few potential dates but nothing has ever come of it.

Re: Young and single!

PenGryphon2007 — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 15:34:57 -0700

I'm sort of in the same boat with wanting to find a full-time job... I'd rather have my own place and be all set up before I find my "white knight" or "prince charming". But then, how I imagine things isn't always how they play out. I'm tired of the guys who have no jobs, no money, no driver's license, and no car. I refuse to be the sole "bread winner" in the family. I already dated a guy like that once and I ended up paying for the date and I decided that never again would I do that. I ended it when he said "well, you're the one with the job." Yeah, and he's the one looking for a girlfriend. /rant. Anyway, if he wants to date me, he's gotta shell out the pocket money. I don't want to be taken advantage of. So yeah, I'm single, I'm hoping to find Mr. Right, and I'm only just now beginning to look for him. Before this I was too busy studying and working on grades and stuff. Right now, I'm still in the process of figuring out what I want to do for the rest of my life--teaching preferably which means going back to school for my certification--but I'm at least starting to notice when guys flirt with me. ...though that's still not a guarantee that I'll recognize it when it happens. Sometimes there's a delay. I'm bad at figuring this stuff out--I missed Flirting 101. I have a lot of guy friends, but no boyfriend. ...we'll see what happens in the next year or so. I have a feeling things are going to change quite quickly.

Re: Young and single!

Allicat232 — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 15:51:24 -0700

Ah home sweet (?) home... So I skipped NaNo last year because I was spending half the month with my then much beloved boyfriend on a rare visit of his to the UK (note to self - avoid dating military men based abroad - it's expensive and complicated) and knew I wouldn't get any writing done whilst playing hostess. We were speaking daily, planning a holiday, talking lightly-but-not-fully-jokily about the future etc... Then in January he decided to call it off. The plan was to stay friends, but that didn't so much work out. Anyhoo, that left me, a somewhat socially awkward twenty-something, returned to the world of singledom without much of a clue of what to do. I hadn't been dating the military man for that long, but he had been a former 'highschool sweetheart', so there was groundwork already there. Oh well - more time to focus on NaNo. And the very slightly bitter part of me is quite looking forward to breaking the hearts of my characters in some sort of futile vengeance... Le sigh...

Re: Young and single!

LHSflute — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 16:23:21 -0700

My boyfriend of 5 1/2 years just broke up with me about three weeks ago, so the pain is still kind of fresh. It's especially hard since not long ago we were talking about marriage... I don't really know what happened. We'd been together since right before I turned 18, so since high school. I joked the other day that if I had to be dumped, now was a good time for it. I'm a full-time student and now I'm planning for NaNo on top of it. If this had been over the summer... it wouldn't have been pretty. Nothing to do but brood all day. Now if I did that I'd never get anything done and I'd fail my classes and that's not really an option. So I'm moving forward, but it sucks a lot. I'm the type who's never liked being single, especially since really all I want is to be a wife and mother, so being single is kind of... counter-productive. But at least the free time will help in November. :)

Re: Young and single!

Kells399 — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 16:24:14 -0700

I'm single now, was single during last year's NaNo, and single another year before that. My last (and first) relationship lasted almost two years, but ended rather badly, so when we broke up the experience didn't exactly leave me longing to search again. Now that I have a driver's license, I'm considering if I want to attempt a relationship again, but part of me wants me to wait until I have a stable job, home, and can be fully independent (however long that takes). Besides, I'm so shy I don't even know how to meet anybody (and I view dating sites as a last, LAST resort). I get lonely sometimes, but overall I see being single as a relief. I'm somewhat of a commitment-phobe, the thought of being married/in a very serious relationship rather scares me.

Re: Young and single!

Mnemophage — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 16:47:13 -0700

I'm not going to talk about my last relationship. It lasted too long and ended amicably, and me and the dude are still friends. It can be jarring returning to the single life after a long time spent with one individual, if only because the social cues learned from early 20's dating have to be acquired in the period where everyone assumes you already know everything. It took me quite a while to learn simply how to recognize when a man was interested in me... and there's a whole other group of signals to watch for it you happen to be the kind of mad free spirit who occasionally dates within your own gender as well. I'm fairly successful at being single, admittedly... but I'm also getting kind of lonely. I miss having a humanfurnace to snuggle against for body heat during the long, cold, harried November.

Re: Young and single!

WritingBandit — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 19:03:29 -0700

Let's see here... as we all know, I'm just about 20. My last relationship was in my freshman year of high school. It was with my next door neighbor, and then he moved several states away. I probably sound pathetic. It's just hard for me to talk to guys, or be social at all, really. I really need to work on that. I really dislike being single.

Re: Young and single!

shonirue — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 23:44:29 -0700

Oh, good, I'm not the only one! I haven't had a real relationship for a while, just odd dates. I am a frenetic sort of person, so I like the free time and enjoy it, but it is lonely. To cope with the fears already voiced in this thread, I have planned out an elaborate single life that includes buying a ticket into space and moving to antarctica, not in that order. So really, it's all win-win.

Re: Young and single!

Tsukasa — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 00:24:18 -0700

Hi! I'm single, loving it, and have no plans to change. In every one of my relationships, I felt absolutely smothered and crowded out of my own identity. I wasn't "me" anymore, I was "so-and-so's girlfriend." I never had any time for myself and never had my own space. I was once yelled at for not texting my partner every day (although admittedly, that individual was fairly unhealthy in many ways). So yes. No obligations, no responsibilities, never worrying about being cheated on, or caught "looking" or having to deal with misplaced jealousy. If you ask me, I have it made. :)

Re: Young and single!

daqu — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 07:28:15 -0700

Yup. I'm single, partly by choice and partly…I dunno, not? I'm just a really bad girlfriend, so I don't want to put anyone I like through the horror of dating me. I'm not like one of those high-maintenance girls, I'm actually really laid back, I'm just kind of a sociopath when it comes to relationships, and I solve every disagreement with "let's just break up, then." Which I thought was really weird until my brother told me he was the same way, so now I blame our genetics.

Re: Young and single!

ariake — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 09:09:13 -0700

Young, single, and pretty happy with it. Haven't had a boyfriend in a while but haven't needed one. And then I moved halfway around the world to another country for at least a year, so needless to say leaving a boyfriend in the states wasn't on my list of things to do. Besides, you have more fun when you're single XD

Re: Young and single!

i am the moon — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 11:07:28 -0700

Happily single. :) I don't really do relationships. I've tried them, but I get bored about two weeks in and so they're pretty self-limiting. Or maybe I'm the boring one, who knows? :P

Re: Young and single!

kmccro — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 11:14:11 -0700

Single and enjoying it as well. Got out of a rough relationship over the summer, still have feelings for the girl, but don't miss being in a relationship. For anyone who's feeling rough about a breakup, look how much freedom you have and enjoy it :D. It's fun to go out and get bombed without worrying that someone will be angry you had fun. Glad to see some like minded single nanos here.

Re: Young and single!

Screnwriter — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 12:33:38 -0700

I had my first relationship ever this year, but she ended it just under two months ago. We're still friends. I still have a few feelings for her, and I'd rather be in a relationship than single in general, but I'm alive. And in a way being single is nice — I can do pretty much whatever I want. I do look forward to Nano coming up. Should help me stay too busy to get very lonely. :-) I sure hope I find someone eventually, though. A whole slew of my friends have gotten engaged this year! But I'm on the other end of the spectrum — 21 and only just started dating. Eek.

Re: Young and single!

CherokeeAlex — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 12:33:40 -0700

I'm single and tolerating it. It's been a couple of years since my last relationship (four years and expected to get married, got dumped instead) and I have no idea how to date as an adult. That scares the crap out of me. Plus I'm a first year grad student, so I don't have a lot of time to date.

Re: Young and single!

benarol — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 12:52:07 -0700

I'm here. Haven't met anyone who suits me in quite a while... there's a lot I like about being single (even in relationships I like a lot of space) but I'm getting tired of it. I know I'm a difficult match, so when I do find the right person, I've got to make it stick.

Re: Young and single!

rachelwrites — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 14:07:47 -0700

I'm single and quite happy. Though I wouldn't say no to a relationship, I just don't meet that many people I'd want to be in a relationship with...

Re: Young and single!

WiresInABox — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 15:59:36 -0700

Lucky you didn't break up of course of NaNo!! I'm single, and how I feel about it varies. Right now it's very practical, because I'm looking for a new job and I can move anywhere for it without worrying about someone else. I'm also used to being alone, it's safe and I have a lot of space. However, those are things I would gladly sacrifice for a partner! Because I don't want to be single for the rest of my life. I had my first and only relationship when I was 21, that was like 4 1/2 years ago! I'm a bit of a loner, I don't have so many friends either (but the few I have is very close). I have had some identity struggle which probably is one reason why. I have a hard time falling for people, and when I do it I fall hard!! I had this crush on my dancing instructor in the beginning of this year and I was quite successful in my communication, I wasn't awkward and clumsy like I always am around pretty people. So that sure was some progress! I asked him out as friends a few times and we had fun on our "dates", but when we had to move apart to different parts of the country because of job and studies, and he wasn't really interested in keeping contact on distance so it kind of fizzled out. I was a bit disappointed but I'm over him now.

Re: Young and single!

harmonyturtle28 — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 16:01:34 -0700

I feel like I'm in the same boat as a lot of people here! I've been on a good bit of dates the past year, and just haven't found anyone I'm clicked with, and I've only been out with one guy I was truly interested in. I finally decided that unless I absolutely felt that way again I just wasn't going to date as much as I was. It isn't worth it for the sake of company. I enjoy the freedom of being single, but if someone came along that I felt I had that connection with I wouldn't pass up on it. There are times it would be really nice to have someone to go out with, but I'm content with waiting to find someone I genuinely like, and they me in return, before jumping into dating again.

Re: Young and single!

Lucius_Antony — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 16:40:44 -0700

I can feel for the people who don't know how to date as adults, I never even had the chance to learn as a teenager, no one has really had that much interest in me, I guess I'm just not all that exciting. Being single doesn't bother me as much as just not really having anyone. I recently moved, so basically I have my job and Netflix and that's it.

Re: Young and single!

kitandkat — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 18:39:45 -0700

The closest thing I've had to a relationship was three years ago? I don't *mind* being single. I'm pretty independent (sometimes I think to my detriment, I have no issue entertaining myself for days), and I've had some great experiences in which I've been glad I wasn't attached (study abroad, for example - I wouldn't have wanted to worry about keeping up a long-distance relationship). For years... all of high school and most of college, I didn't want a relationship at all. I figured if the right person showed up, I'd consider it, but it just wasn't a big deal to me. I feel like now that I'm graduating college this year, I at least want to get some dating experience under my belt. I've had a lot of independence and if I get into medical school, I'm starting my career officially next year with that, so I feel like it's time to grow up a little in the dating arena, too. A lot of my friends are getting engaged or into more serious relationships now, too, so I guess I feel pressure there. One of my coworkers and I have been let down because guys thought we were "out of my league" and we are both like - what? We are really low maintenance people, lol. I do really want to get married eventually - I wouldn't mind giving up some things for that, as long as it was a mature relationship (as in, we could still be ourselves, not stifling, not abusive, etc. - and I agree that I would want us both to be able to support ourselves financially). I just love the idea of always being there for each other and approaching things together. Of course it wouldn't be perfect, I don't want to sound like I have an idealized view of marriage or anything. I just really, really like the idea and wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I'm also the type of person who has a few good friends rather than a lot of acquaintances.

Re: Young and single!

Ruria — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 19:29:21 -0700

Eh. After my last 3 year relationship ended (he switched me for another girl) I never really had an interest in anyone. I'm more than all right with being single, any attempts to flirt or anyone that tells me they 'love' me usually ends up with me feeling supremely awkward. I'll concentrate on my schoolwork and looking for actual work before trying to find anyone.

Re: Young and single!

sushimustwrite — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 20:39:40 -0700

As the Deirdre Flint song says, I'm single. I confessed my feelings to a friend (and Wrimo) last weekend, only to find out he doesn't like me back. This could end well or badly given that I'm one of his MLs.

Re: Young and single!

PopPrincess89 — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 21:10:19 -0700

I broke up with my boyfriend at the beginning of July after dating him for a little over three months. It was a very dragged out and miserable break up (he spent a month trying to convince me that I made the wrong choice by ending things with him and that we should just focus on the good and try to fix the bad and make things work). I'm 22 and that was my only relationship throughout all of high school or college (prior to that I had a summer fling when I was 14, the summer before 9th grade, as well as other various puppy love "relationships" throughout middle school). For the most part I'm ok with being single. I enjoy doing crafty things and being single gives me all the time in the world to do that (not to mention time to write, obviously haha). But on the other hand, I just graduated college in May and I'm now out in the "real world" searching for a job and all that, so it would be nice to have a mature, adult relationship as well. Since May of this year, 12 people I know have gotten married and another one will be getting married next month. I went to one of these weddings and the rest are all just acquaintances whose pictures I see all over facebook. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't slightly jealous of all of these people that I know. I've wanted to be a wife and mother for as long as I can remember and I've always seen myself settling down at a younger age.

Re: Young and single!

Ryan Lohner — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 21:30:58 -0700

I'm 27 and have never actually been on a real date. There was one girl interested in me in high school, but she gave off a creepy stalker vibe so that never went anywhere. I've never really felt much need to get together with someone, though my parents are starting to pressure me now that my younger brother had a girlfriend for a bit (it didn't end well, and she had the same name as our mother, which somehow no one but me saw as weird).

Re: Young and single!

mastervolo — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 23:12:23 -0700

Im 20 (almost 21) never been in a relationship, but i have been on a couple dates, nothing serious though. Ive always kindof regretted not talking more to the people Ive been interested in throughout the years, but Im not an unhappy single guy so its all good. Just gotta wait till I find the right girl :)

Re: Young and single!

emmica — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 23:28:57 -0700

I've been single since January but I'm taking the approach to it (now that the wounds have healed) that my friends have – that being alone allows time to define yourself which I'm in much need of –, and enjoy the silence and solitude. I'm a bit of a loner so it does feel great to just have a lot of time and space that is my own, and that I have a high degree of control over my life and time. I do try to date now and then, but if I don't feel it I drop it pretty quickly – I don't want to be in a relationship for the sake of being in one.

Re: Young and single!

Maemi — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 05:28:52 -0700

My boyfriend broke up with me back in May because he thought I wasn't spending enough time with him. This was right after I got back from college, which is two-and-a-half hours away from our hometown. That doesn't seem like much, but neither of us have licenses so we couldn't really see each other. He KNEW we wouldn't see each other much during the year. He also knew I was doing my creative writing internship at the library so couldn't just go over and see him whenever he wanted me to during the summer. It's not like I was trying to avoid him D: Then again whenever I went over to his place he only ever had one thing on his mind, so good riddance. THIS is why I prefer women. Men are stupid :(

Re: Young and single!

Almira Torralba — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 06:35:05 -0700

I'm single at the age of twenty-two. The thing is, I've been single all my life. Like many people here, I love being single. I have time to devote to my studies (I'm a first year med student), my writing, and my other activities. I'm the girl who's one of the boys, but is never *the* girl they look for. I think my being single really has a lot to do with the fact that I'm generally more bookish and competitive than many guys I know, and because I have pretty high standards for relationships. I'd like to think that the first time I'm not single...it will be because of the right person.

Re: Young and single!

BloodRoseAngel — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 07:43:53 -0700

I'm single and I'm happy that way. :D I'm disinterested in relationships to the point that people have asked me if I'm asexual. xD I've only been in one relationship - I don't know if it can even be called that, since we went on one date in three months, and even then he told me his mum had paid for it and that we were going to the restaurant early and not on Valentine's day 'so it would be cheaper'. xD

Re: Young and single!

Veela-Valoom — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 08:09:23 -0700

Well I suppose I should check in on this thread. I've been single for a little over a year (before that was in a relationship for 14 months-ish but when my grandfather died he proved he wasn't a keeper & has continued to prove it ever since). Being single doesn't bother me as much as living in a town where I don't really have friends either. Not many people my age around for either department. I have a knitting club that meets once a month (which I love) but that's pretty much it. I mean I like boys. I like kissing (and miss kissing) but having wasted so much time on a relationship that went nowhere (& I know compared to some people 14 months isn't long) I kind of wonder both "What's the point?" and is it really worth it. If I just had someone to go hiking with me occasionally I'd be good to go. I'm just a bit of a tomboy (watches sports, outdoorsy, etc). Maybe I'm just not very ambitious where boys are concerned. Or maybe I just feel like I should start by having friends & worry about everything else later. I

Re: Young and single!

SkillfulCreations — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 11:17:26 -0700

I've been single since last May. I stayed single all last year, because I needed to be. When 2011 came around I felt I was ready for a relationship, but wanted to be single. Now I'm just seeing what happens. I'm not looking for a bf, but I'm not not looking either. If I find an amazing guy, great, if I don't, that's great too. I'm just up for whatever happens.

Re: Young and single!

Aunt_Dew — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 13:58:28 -0700

I am single and happy, but I also would love to be unsingle and happy. My last relationship was (counts fingers) FOUR years ago (Wow, was it that long ago). I ended it when I realised I was not happy in the relationship, and for several years afterwards I had no desire to enter into a relationship again. There is a guy now, I've been friends with him a couple of years, and I would be interested in seeing how we go on the next level, but I have no idea if he is interested. I am planning on saying something when it seems natural in a conversation, but I don't know when that will happen. He has exams at the moment, which he is stressing about, so now is not the time. SO for now it looks like I am remaining single a bit longer. I am not too much in a rush though.

Re: Young and single!

.edtastic — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 20:05:02 -0700

Single and happy with it. Have dated a soul since high school, which is like three years now? Well, not in Real Life -- there is this convenient thing called the internet that helps me avoid actual relationships. It's great. -snort- I'm not too fussed about relationships really.

Re: Young and single!

littlehurricane — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 20:42:03 -0700

I'm young and single, too... I got pregnant with my high school sweetheart at 22, and he didn't want to stick around. I'm raising our daughter alone, going to school, but it turns out that whole single mom thing is a real turn-off to guys, especially around here. (Utah county, hardcore Mormon population) It's okay though. I'll date again someday. Or I won't. I've learned to cope. On days when I really feel lonely, I crank up a Bill Maher podcast and realize I'd rather be single than with bad company.

Re: Young and single!

jesusfreakhobbit — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 20:49:55 -0700

I'm single, of the "never actually been on a date" variety. In high school I was homeschooled, which didn't necessarily mean there were no guys around, just not as many as there could be. Then I went to a small university, where the population was about 80-20 girls to guys (or at least it felt like that) and while I had a bunch of guy friends, they were either taken, not someone I'd ever date or not interested. Since I graduated, I haven't really been a part of any community so I'm just kinda waiting. I have high-ish standards, so I'm ok with waiting until someone who meets them comes around. I just hope its soon.

Re: Young and single!

Inkling Dreams — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 22:01:24 -0700

Young, single, and loving it. I've dated guys, my longest relationship lasted about eight months before he finally started annoying the crap out of me and I couldn't take it anymore. So for now I'm flying solo. Unless someone really, really, really special comes around, I'm gonna stay solo. Personally I don't think I'm really cut out for relationships. I have a habit of attracting awful guys. My very first boyfriend in high school was a jerk who stole my iPod, cheated on me, and broke up with me via a text message sent from the phone of some guy I didn't even know. Then he tried to talk trash about me in the locker room, called me a whore and said he had sex with me (I am still a virgin at almost 21, thank you very much) and was majorly surprised when I marched right into the boys' locker room and pounded his sorry little butt myself. He was even more surprised when he found out that the wrestling coach gave me permission to go in and "shut him up." The only other guy who made it to "boyfriend level" turned out to be a creep to the fourth degree. After the fiasco with my first boyfriend I went on a few dates with a bunch of different guys but I didn't like any of them. So my sophomore year of college I settled on this one, he was a complete 180 from the first guy. He was the kind of guy who had a nice, polite, short haircut. He always wore khaki pants, tucked in polos with a belt and tennis shoes. (yeah, don't know what the hell I saw in him...) He was the kind of guy I wasn't afraid to take home to mom, he was polite, he was very nice to girls, and well, he might have been a dork but he was a nice dork. For the first few months everything was great with him, but when we started into the sixth, seventh month his creeper colors started showing. At first I thought it was nothing, that he was just a little over-zealous with the whole chivalry thing. He liked opening doors for me, he liked helping me in and out of the car, he liked carrying things for me, he liked walking me places to "protect" me (from what, a corn stalk?). It was cute at first, but then it started getting annoying. He started getting upset and offended when I'd open the car door and get out myself instead of waiting for him to shut the car off, get out, run to the other side, and open my door for me. He started getting annoyed when I would hop in his car without him helping. He'd get moody when he found out I had walked to a grocery store by myself or gone somewhere with a group of girls and no "man" to protect me. And he got really mad when I told him all of those things were nice in moderation, but totally unnecessary. I can open doors myself, I can get into cars myself, and I can protect myself from those evil vengeful corn stalks in Iowa. From there it just got weird. I met his mother, who told me she would "let it go this time, but girls must wear skirts in this family." 0.o Have you not met me, lady? I don't wear skirts outside of extremely formal situations. And last I checked I'm... not your twelve year old daughter and you have no say over what I wear. Nor am I a part of your family. And it just got weirder. I finally broke up with him one night when he told me that when we get married (not if, mind you, and no he had never proposed) he wanted five kids. I told him that's nice, but if he wants kids he'd best find someone else because I'm not having them. He told me "it doesn't matter what you want. If your husband wants you to have kids then you do." And I told him that is not how it works in the twenty-first century and if he wants a woman like that he'd better go find someone else. We argued for a few more minutes like that, then he tried to kiss me. I hauled off and punched him and haven't spoken to the creeper since. Nor have I seriously dated since. I've decided that there will be no more dating until I am positive the guy is sane. And... apparently I have an insane-guy-magnet or something. -_-; Ah well, I don't mind flying solo all that much.

Re: Young and single!

Hëradïn — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 00:49:46 -0700

I find myself being more comfortable around guys, but being attracted to women more. I am also more socially awkward around women (win!) so my choice is get with a guy I may like well enough, but am no as attracted to as that nice looking filly sitting a few desks away in psych... anyway, the last relationship was with a girl about 2 years ago that lasted a year, she decided she would rather date one of her close friends then me. needless to say I wasn't too happy and I have shied away from relationships for fear of the same happening. I would like to work up the courage to asked that girl in psych out but, I don't know.

Re: Young and single!

trinagirl98 — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 07:53:11 -0700

Single by circumstance and a bit by choice. I have commitment issues. If I feel like I'm getting attached, I'll find any and every reason to break it off...he chews with his mouth open...he's not gentlemanly enough....He can't cook....he doesn't manscape...He DOES manscape....and the list goes on. I imagine that the perfect guy will come along and I won't try to find something wrong with him to validate a reason to break if off.

Re: Young and single!

Ally-Kat722 — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 08:55:10 -0700

Young, single, and kinda rather ready to not be single anymore. My last serious relationship ended... almost two years ago or so now? I dated this guy through most of college (almost three years) and then I broke it off when I could tell it wasn't what I wanted from a relationship. I dated another guy briefly, and then had a short relationship with a couple (guy and girl). I actually had some self-confidence issues involving being single over the summer (other things were involved too, depression is SO not fun) but a good friend has recently expressed interest in me, and even though I don't like him the same way, it's made me feel better. Still rather hoping to find someone who will either adore or tolerate my total fangirlishness and my obsessions - like NaNo. I'm kinda tempted to make a sign with my traits and what I'd like in a partner and take it with me to an anime convention and just see what happens. XD Who knows what the future will bring, right?

Re: Young and single!

DanHinge — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 09:43:01 -0700

Hmm, male representation isn't exactly astounding here, is it? Just thought I ought to pitch in and attempt to restore some of your faith in the male sex. We're not all unfeeling sex-mad scoundrels, some of us are quite nice. Not that it does me any good. I think it must be something to do with winter suddenly closing in (at least over here in England it is), and also maybe something to do with being unemployed and struggling to find a job (which is depressing as hell) but I really could do with some sort of relationship now. It's been a year and a bit, and I'm starting to really miss it. Never mind eh? Always seems to work out somehow.

Re: Young and single!

40milliondaggers — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 12:30:55 -0700

I don't mind being single that much. The thing I do mind about it is that most people around me seem to feel sorry for me and that it makes me feel left out. I'm the only one at work (together with the recently divorced receptionist) who hasn't got anyone and doesn't go to a pub every night to drink. Then again, I am not that sociable and I'm pretty comfortable with the me-time being single gives me. And the fact that I don't have to explain myself every five minutes - oversensitive men are such a pain.

Re: Young and single!

Yoon- — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 20:16:54 -0700

Yes. I am also single and most of the time I don't mind being single (except when I go out and I'm the only one who is single and for some reason they all need to hold hands, then it's a bit awkward), because I know that I'm not ready for a relationship. I have some trusting issues that I need to work out first, because otherwise it'll never work. The only thing that scares me the most is that I've never been in love with someone while my parents were already married at my age. Yes, I've had crushes and I've had some boy/girlfriends, but no one that I really loved. And that is the most scaring part for me.

Re: Young and single!

metteius — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 22:12:12 -0700

I'm single. Been single since before I was 18, and it kind of sucks. (I'm now 24) I'm a lesbian who keeps falling for straight girls so I'm just gonna go ahead and state the obvious and say that is the problem as to why I'm single :P

Re: Young and single!

lovely_sparkle — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 22:40:08 -0700

Perpetually single. Been on dates, but haven't connected enough with anyone to actually be in a relationship. I'm kind of getting really sick of it- I'm 23 now and I feel like I have a lot going for me, and I think I deserve a relationship, and deserve to share my love with someone else. But I'm not desperate enough to just date anyone. I guess I have high standards and I'm too shy and I don't know any guys- those are the big issues in my corner over here!

Re: Young and single!

Broreale — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 23:45:40 -0700

Single for a little over a year now! My last and only girlfriend broke things off when they started to get serious, and I haven't really found anyone since. Since I live in a small town, she's more or less the only girl from here I could really have feelings for, which did not help my healing process at all! We're friends now, but sometimes it's hard to keep from pining. But being single is far from bad, as I have school, job-hunts and novels to focus on. In fact, it's kind of nice not feeling the pressure I felt when I was dating; and while all that stress was self-generated, I know I'll have to deal with it the next time I'm in a relationship, and I'd rather do that when I don't have more important tasks to concentrate on.

Re: Young and single!

Zooperdoop — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 01:21:13 -0700

Haha! Couldn't help but check in to this one. I've been single for nearly two years: got a thorough dumping from a long-term relationship the night before I moved to the big city to pursue a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to study at the national film school. Yes, it sucked, and yes, it took a long time to move on; but I'm happy now that I have a chance to pursue the stuff I love doing for a career as opposed to being stuck in a country town where ambition is defined by getting married, buying a house and having kids. That stuff can happen later (a LOT later). Of course I get lonely, but so do people in relationships. I have the advantage of sinking more time into more creative avenues.

Re: Young and single!

Windee — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 08:41:14 -0700

I've been single for... going on three years now. No boyfriends, no relationships, no (real) dates, nothing. And it's been amazing. I can hang out with whoever I want, whenever I have the time and no one will yell at me. I'll go out to lunch or something with a guy friend pretty often, but we're just friends. Heck, we even pay for our own food. XD But I love the freedom of being able to hang out with anyone and/or everyone in the various circles I run in. Having a boyfriend just... limits that so much.

Re: Young and single!

slightly.sketchy — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 10:32:53 -0700

I'd like to join your single party :) Sometimes I think I'd like to stop being single, but truthfully it works for me a lot of the time. I like my freedom. I like setting my own priorities and doing things on my time. I have a pretty amazing circle of people in my life, and I'm not sure I'd want to sacrifice time with them for a relationship. Not to mention, I'm still figuring my life and myself out; that journey never really stops, but I'm not sure I'm in the right place for a steady relationship.

Re: Young and single!

paniwi — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 11:30:12 -0700

*raises hand* Yup, single right here. I've never really been in a serious relationship before. Once for a couple of months, and one or two offers. But never seriously in a long relationship. The downside is that I'm a hopeless romantic who doesn't know what it feels like to fall in love, the upside is that I'm, as many people mentioned, free. I want to go abroad next year, so for me being single is really the practical thing.

Re: Young and single!

SVolt — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 12:07:45 -0700

Single for a couple years now, went through a very rough break-up toward the end of high school an it was a bit of a spirit-crusher. So I've called of any potential search for now. The road's lonely and difficult at times but up to this point relationships for me have been nothing but stress and pain. So I use this time to focus on other aspects of my life and maybe a person will come along some day, but I'm not looking very hard.

Re: Young and single!

Ash-Ash — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 15:14:57 -0700

I'm single, and becoming increasingly unhappy with it as more and more of my friends these days are all finding their "special someone" and getting engaged. Ugh. That's not to say I'm in a hurry to get married (although it seems like some of my friends are, which worries me) but I haven't even been on a date in well over a year, and that's not likely to change any time soon. My problem is that I'm so busy and wrapped up with school that I don't know how to meet people who aren't in my classes - and I've more than learned my lesson on that one. Not that I'd really have time for a decent relationship now anyway- at least that's what I keep telling myself.

Re: Young and single!

Neo-Courtney — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 16:51:24 -0700

Another singular here! I used to actually get lonely and depressed about it-- still get lonely sometimes-- but for the most part, I've realized that I want a relationship for the wrong reasons anyway... I was looking for self-affirmation and -worth, but I realized that I needed to find that within myself. I've mostly found it, but I'm still discovering myself, and I've spent so long being depressed that I lost touch with my interests (I actually skipped NaNo last year... I'm doing it this year to make up). And besides, I suck at commitment. :P I can barely commit to finishing my novels once NaNo is over... I had to employ a friend to harass me via email until I've written the final word on the page. XD That said, I actually did fall in love last month, I think, but I blew my chances. :P Oh well, more time for NaNo, and maybe a little plot fodder for my story. ^_^

Re: Young and single!

sammyjones57 — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 18:06:01 -0700

Glad to speak to single people! I'm the girl whose friends are all married or on the verge of getting there. I'm okay with being single, but at the same time I'd be okay if I wasn't too. For years I kind of had the: "I can't even stand myself half the time let alone another person to constantly deal with." It's slowly fading now, lol

Re: Young and single!

breakingsunshine — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 19:46:54 -0700

i'm flying solo just like the rest of you. i like having time to myself, but it gets lonely at times(especially when all of my close friends have their special someone, and then there's me). and sure it gets frustrating and saddening, but at the same time i don't want a relationship just to have someone there. i'd much rather focus on school, work and writing, and if someone comes along, then why not? but i'm definitely not going out of my way to search for love.

Re: Young and single!

cornflakegirl — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 22:26:52 -0700

I broke up with my boyfriend of three and a half years about a month ago. We were together most of college and some time after. It's been rough, but I'm hoping NaNo will give me something constructive to do with my new found free time. Like many of you, I've never really been single as an adult, so I'm looking forward to having that experience and then eventually meeting someone new.

Re: Young and single!

AdrienEtienne — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 22:56:39 -0700

I've been single for about a year and a half now. The relationship that ended then was probably the most serious one that I've ever been in, and it ended in not the most conclusive of ways. For someone who is single, my "love life" is way too complicated. But I'm starting to get interested in dating casually again. I'd really like the chance to actually date a guy. The history of my sexuality as related to my gender is a little bit interesting, so while I currently lean towards being gay, I've never dated a guy before. Of course this means that all of the people who seem to be really interested in me right now are women. Go figure. I also have a kind of strange not-relationship with a friend from high school that occasionally interferes with my ability to date people because of jealousy on their parts. Basically my bonds with two of my friends (both of whom are across the country from me) are on the level of platonic soul-mates, and this confuses a lot of people. That and some trust issues that I'm working on have made me fairly tentative in working my way back towards dating. I'm only 22 and not stable in myself yet though. I've got time. Adrien Etienne

Re: Young and single!

TeeVee — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 05:34:44 -0700

I've been single for a whopping six years, I've never known what a proper relationship is and I feel like I've missed out on something because of it. Quite happy with being single, although I do feel rather lonely at times. If the right guy was to come along, I wouldn't turn him down. But at the same time, relationships kind of scare me, so being single is like my comfort zone.

Re: Young and single!

Indignity — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 06:19:30 -0700

I've been single for the 20 years I've been in existence. Sometimes this makes me feel pretty damn bad about myself (why does no one love me? boo hoo wah wah), but then other times I think of it as 1) I'm an introvert 2) I may subconsciously scare people off, and 3) at least I'm not just settling for anyone. But it really doesn't help that I'm somewhat of a hopeless romantic and a very cuddly person.

Re: Young and single!

jessicagk — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 06:37:32 -0700

Never been in a serious relationship, although I was with a guy for a few months about 5 years ago. Haven't dated since. Sometimes I wish I were in a relationship, but I'm enjoying being single. It would be nice to have that special someone in the not-so-distant future, though.

Re: Young and single!

hootowl — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 13:40:11 -0700

I had a poor first experience with the dating game when I was in early high school so it put me off romantic relationships for a while. By the time college rolled around I was interested in giving the scene another go, but then I never seemed to attract any attention from the guys (at least the non-crazy/creepy/perverted kind). At 27, I've settled down into my singleness and for the most part I'm content. I do want a special someone, but right now I'm kind of stagnant. I've gone back to school (night courses) and that has consumed my life for the past 3 or so years. I have to admit that when my younger sisters married, I did feel the sting of bitterness but that's passed now. I do have a question though, where does one meet people? I feel like I'm all alone and floating in a sea of couples.

Re: Young and single!

gargoyle575 — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 14:32:45 -0700

27 and single for...5 years. I'd like to have a partner, but, well, I just don't have the time these days. I'm also very unromantic, don't understand relationships (my last 2 started because he started calling me his girlfriend when I thought we were just hanging out and I went along with it) and dates feel like too much work. I can think of scores of things I'd rather be doing than spending 2 hours with a stranger trying to make small talk. I do, however, hate that my mother is starting to refer to me as an old maid, that all my friends are now engaged, married, or shopping for a ring, and that random twinge of fear over ending up alone before I remember I have decades of time to find someone. I have spent the last year trying to find more single people to hang out with, though.

Re: Young and single!

JCHendersoniscool — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 15:21:01 -0700

I'm 27 and been single for three years. I love being in a relationship, but I just haven't found myself a good girl that I can have a real relationship with yet. I think part of the problem is the fact that not only do I want a relationship but I want one that's based on friendship, and that's very hard to find. at least in my experience. but, next year I'm moving to a bigger city so hopefully I will start meeting people and I'll have much more of a variety when it comes to available women (cause everyone over here is either married or still in HS).

Re: Young and single!

Westwoods — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 17:36:30 -0700

I'm 23 and I've never been asked out (I prefer the guy to do the asking). I'm not sure why I've never been asked out, but I like to tell myself it's because I am so smart and beautiful that guys just are too intimidated to ask me out. When I am depressed I admit to myself that it's probably because hardly anyone has even noticed my existence as I spend most of my time at home. I like the 'too beautiful and intelligent' explaination better though.

Re: Young and single!

MissGlitterWings — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 18:14:04 -0700

27 and single here too. I have a job, but luckily I have a break from school for the whole month of November, so I get to write!!!!!

Re: Young and single!

Mylantha — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 22:49:34 -0700

20 never been on a date. Been asked but turn it down. I'm just not interested in a realtionship. I like my life with just myself and my rescue dogs. Personally the thought of comming home to someone horrifies me. I have to deal with people all day (which because I'm an introvert physically exhaustst me) the last thing I want is not to be able to be alone in my own home. Just to clarify one point. It is not that I don't like people. I love hanging out with my friends and I don't mind being around people, I just need time alone to relax and recouperate.

Re: Young and single!

Ayako — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 11:29:08 -0700

We can rant? I'm single and sooooo don't want it. I fell for a boy. Like two years ago. Said boy flirted with me, came and spent time with me, told me he liked me, then got back with his ex. Skip to now, said boy is single, flirted with me, told me he liked me, spent time with me, then decided to let me know he likes this other girl. I just keep getting strung along! >.< And I know it's stupid and I gotta get over him, that he just wants my kisses and such, but I like him. It's horrible. Stupid guys. >.<

Re: Young and single!

Enjorous — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 12:51:47 -0700

I've realized that at this state in my life there's an ideal that many people harbor that to be in a relationship that you have to be completely interdependent AND on top of that completely mutual. So for now I've given up on it until people can act like adults, of course so many people older than me still act like 4 year olds. I've come to this realization after thinking I'd found a couple of stable relationships only to find out that just below the surface they had a riptide that would drag boats to sea.

Re: Young and single!

fremd — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 13:21:48 -0700

I'm single, and plan on staying so until I actually find someone I want to date (which has never happened, lol, but I'll keep an open mind). Single life is great, since I can control my own decisions based entirely on my own priorities and desires without worrying about a partner.

Re: Young and single!

Storm Dream — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 15:10:47 -0700

28 and single. I tend to be "one of the guys" -- men see me as a pal, not girlfriend material. Which led to the demise of my last relationship in September of '10. Since then I've been...I guess just very careful about getting too interested in anybody. I've been very busy trying to establish my business, so I haven't had a lot of time to go looking, anyway. I've sort of realized over the last few months that it'd be great to have one, but I'm not holding my breath. Besides, there's a lot of perks that come with being single! ;)

Re: Young and single!

Arrakiv — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 15:42:16 -0700

I'm single, and by choice (but hey, I keep an open mind). I'm not feeling any particular motivation to change that either, given the additional freed up time is all sorts of awesome. For example, it makes having time to write significantly easier. :-P

Re: Young and single!

rottenTaxidermist — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 16:28:48 -0700

Single, have been single for all my life except for a misguided three months some years ago. Proudly flying the asexual flag (somehow people think this means I don't want a romantic relationship - they could not be further from the truth), quite possibly dying surrounded by cats named after Romantic poets and furniture in various stages of chintz.

Re: Young and single!

MissGlitterWings — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 18:03:28 -0700

yeah def. don't want to be single. blah. more power to the ones who do! I wish I didn't...but alas...hopeless romantic in your midst.

Re: Young and single!

XRoryX — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 18:25:53 -0700

You all can add me to the introverts. I'm way to shy to even look at a guy never mind hold a conversation with one. It is so hard for me to get to know someone and it takes a very long time before I'm comfortable enough to not look like a nervous, quiet, wreck. So I have been single my entire life and have never even been on a date. I like being single well enough, I imagine it's easier and less stressful maybe, but I certainly don't want to be single forever.

Re: Young and single!

Vituperator — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 18:39:23 -0700

I dated a girl all through college, but we decided to break up when I graduated because she was going to med school and it would mean several years of long distance before we could be together again. It messed me up pretty badly for a while. Now I'm independent and living the bachelor life. The freedom definitely has its perks, but overall, I'm not sure how I feel about it.

Re: Young and single!

walker13 — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 22:37:36 -0700

Single, introverted, and *still* working through past abuse/trauma issues - so probably single for a while longer. (The trauma thing also explains why I make so many of my characters suffer. Mwahahahaha...) I barely had any friends in high school and college due to crippling shyness and Asperger's Syndrome on top of that, actually. Nowadays I'm kind of where I should have been in junior high and such - actually talking to people of the opposite gender and able to joke about things. I don't mind. Just have to have patience with myself, y'know?

Re: Young and single!

croiselediable — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 05:47:26 -0700

I'm quite young and even more single. I think it's part of the "fun" of going to such an academic-based college (as opposed to all the OTHER colleges that aren't based on academics /sarcasm) -- the guys are just as busy as you. There's no time! I honestly don't know how some couples manage it. I don't actually have interest in any of the guys on campus either, though. The guys I like tend to live far, far away. Long distance is not my friend.

Re: Young and single!

rosiroo — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 07:46:56 -0700

I'm single, have been for ages, but I don't really mind to be honest :) I'm enjoying being by myself, concentrating on my fitness, studying, and writing. I have so much to do already I don't think I could fit a bf in as well! :p

Re: Young and single!

EMT-TKJ — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 11:58:41 -0700

I'm 21 and single! I love long walks on the beach, dancing in the rain, and singing whenever I hear a song I know. Okay, so, I'm madly in love with someone, who doesnt want a girlfriend. I know way too much about him, and he and I act like a couple every now and then. It makes me sad when he leaves, but I keep on holding on that maybe, one day- he'll come around. Until A) he catches up, or B) I move on I'm pretty happy where I'm at.

fadedbluejeans — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 14:42:28 -0700

I was dating someone last November. He called me at 10:30pm on the 30th when I still had 2k to write. I hung up on him :) Not what broke us up (we dated until late December), but probably proof of why I'd be a terrible girlfriend during NaNo season. This said, I'd really love to meet someone new. But I have, like, no social skills, so I don't see that happening anytime soon. Perfectly happy as I am, though.

Re: Young and single!

arrowsforpens — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 15:01:51 -0700

Hallo, all. I broke up (mostly) because of NaNo once... He wanted me to spend more time with him, I thought he was being clingy, and that was about it. o.O It's been about five years since then. I'm such an introvert that it takes a LOT to get me out of my shell, and that just... hasn't happened. Good thing I like being by myself :)

Re: Young and single!

ElizaWyatt — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 01:26:27 -0700

Another 27-year-old. Dang, we're common, aren't we? Personally, I'm baby-crazed. I'd love to finally have one of my own... but my requirements on a husband make it really hard to find someone to date, and I've never gotten excited about any of my boyfriends. I can't even imagine what it would be like to look forward to a wedding. And no, having a baby on my own's not an option. Virgin-until-marriage, two parent thing. So, I write. I work at a software company, programming full-time. I draw. I do 3d graphic design. I have my eye on a video game engine for indy designers. I sew costumes. I play D&D with a group of amazing role-players. I have a big writer's website I'm planning. I annoy co-workers with my NaNoWriMo enthusiasm. Life is good. But oh, a baby would be so wonderful...

Re: Young and single!

adivineeternity — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 06:32:10 -0700

Woot! I am very much single and, in all honesty, I love it. I haven't legitimately dated since I was 18 and a freshman in college, but I broke up with the guy after two months. There have been flings here and there since then, but nothing more. I'm more focused on doing what I want to do, establishing my independence, and enjoying my own life than I am on finding a relationship. Granted, I sometimes get super-cynical about dating, marriage, etc. but we all have our faults.

Re: Young and single!

smfortissimo — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 09:34:04 -0700

I'm single and I haven't dated since my high school boyfriend, that is if you'd even call that dating. I'd call that an intensely awkward friendship as in I boycotted Facebook for three months because I didn't want to confirm the relationship change notification. Other than that and my childhood best-friend (everyone said we would get married, but now he's married to someone else), I have yet to find love. But seriously, reading this page has put me back into perspective. I've been pinning for someone, anyone, to ask me out ever since I moved away to college. I've asked lots of questions like "What's wrong with me?" and "Why won't anyone ask me out?", but here I find a lot of really cool single people with their heads on straight. You all inspire me. Who needs a date? I've got a novel to write!

Re: Young and single!

Parmelde Lorntiere — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 12:58:52 -0700

I'm single, been single every nano I've done. I have this amazing talent of getting together with someone in December and then breaking up with them by July. I don't really do it intentionally, but I'm now going to blame it on my nano subconscious telling me not to add a guy to the things I'll have to worry about besides noveling in November. That was actually mainly just in High school. Once I hit college I just decided not to date and to focus on myself. By doing that I realized I was in love with my best friend and that led me to writing the best novel I've ever written last year. (Completely unplanned though, still don't know how I wrote it.) So this year I am still single, and waiting for an answer. It helps that I'm across the ocean so am meeting new people and able to focus on other things, like learning a new language. Hopefully I can have an answer after nano. It will have been almost a year since I told her. I mean I'm not waiting, if there was someone else I liked I could go for it. I just know that in my head I won't be able to move on until she tells me definitely no. I don't want to lead someone else on either. There was one guy who really wanted to date me (or get in my pants, still not sure) and I tried it but after the second time we went to coffee I was just like no and broke his heart. So to anyone who's single and dealing with unrequited love use this month to just ignore that person. They knew you were doing nano, (if not tell them) and to talk to you before hand. They choose not to. So now they must wait until you're really far ahead on your word count. Nano is one of the most important things to me in my life. If you don't like it, you can leave. Okay end rant or whatever.

Re: Young and single!

Frozen Sky — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 14:09:23 -0700

One of these days I should do something about being single. Always feel like I should get my own stuff sorted out first, although I wonder if that ever actually happens haha.

Re: Young and single!

Knight of Disorder — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 16:17:05 -0700

Me any my ex went out separate ways last year three days before NaNo started. She took part, or intended to, I didn't. Been single ever since, been unemployed to so that might be why I'm still single. Well how are you all doing?

Re: Young and single!

explosioned — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 20:22:34 -0700

I'm single (and have always been that way) at nearly 21 (less than a month to go!), and frankly at the moment I'm not actively looking to change that. I've always thought that people falling in love at the drop of a hat was a bit silly, and just asking for pain later! So, when I start dating, I want to look for a guy that I know I could get married to (which comes with a lot of requirements, sigh) and then meet up with to see if the chemistry side of the equation is firing up. Yeah, I know I sound a bit clinical, and I'll probably pay for this mindset by falling face first in love (I wish), but I'm a really emotional person and I think a bad breakup would probably break ME :( So, single, fairly content (though I don't want to be single forever!), and probably not going to change till I graduate and finally join "the real world" :P

Re: Young and single!

Almira Torralba — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 20:35:12 -0700

I'm torn, really. I really don't want to be single forever...I want to fall in love and stay in love. But it would be nice (no, absolutely necessary) if the gentleman in question understood the other passion of my life: helping people as a doctor. As early as now, my guy friends at med school treat me as their 'bro' and not really as one of the girls. How do I get out of this without making this so awkward?

Re: Young and single!

Phantos — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 22:31:53 -0700

I'm 23 and I've been single for about... oh, um, 4.5 years now. I've been on a couple of dates, but haven't really sparked with anyone in a long while. I think I give off a "not interested" vibe. That's mostly by choice. I'm not particularly romantic (romantic gestures make me downright nervous, actually), so I never got anything out of a relationship on that end. I'm a loner; I have friends for when I want companionship. I like the freedom of not being tied to anyone, because I can move when I want and change jobs if I get an offer. I don't want children, so it's not like I'm on a schedule here. The only thing I'm not getting by avoiding a relationship is regular sex (TMI? :D ). My last relationship was not good, in hindsight. Not abusive, just very unhealthy. I'm aware of that. Now people think I don't date because I got scared off. Apparently a girl my age is supposed to want to date and bemoan the fact that she doesn't have a boyfriend/girlfriend and that she's never going to get married. Everyone thinks I'm odd for actively choosing to be alone.

Re: Young and single!

Hobbit Missa — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 06:28:59 -0700

I'm 23 too. I had a bf for a couple of months in the spring, but he decided he wasn't ready for a "grown-up" relationship. He was the one trying to get really serious right away but whatever. Anyway...he was my first bf and I know there've been other guys who would have asked me out if I gave them any clue that I might be interested, but I'm incredibly picky. For one, I want to come to my wedding as a virgin, so the guy needs to understand that he's not getting any until the wedding night. Yeah, I know, I'm a prude, but there's just too many potential complications otherwise. Also, any guy who would try to suppress my nerdiness will never get far with me. I will always love Tolkien, Star Wars, and Doctor Who and nothing will ever ever change that. Actually, Whedonverse stuff is what got me through my break-up. And now...with two part-time jobs, teaching multiple classes at church, and attempting to do NaNo...I don't think I'd have time for a boyfriend this month!

Re: Young and single!

sillybadger — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 10:16:00 -0700

22 and never had a real relationship which gives my friends a good laugh. I'm one of those girls who is as I put it "Always the mate never the date." I get on with guys better than girls and I have been told on many occasions, "if you didn't have boobs i'd forget you're a girl!" Yeah nice touch, my guys were great. It's not like I'm un-girly but I just tend to joke alot, be crude and am the opposite to most of the girls, to put it one way, when my friend is with her boyfriend and he's playing on the Xbox, she mopes around and complains that he never shows her any attention, when I'm around a friends and he's playing I'm behind him watching and enjoying the company. The girls think I'm weird for doing that. Not that I mind, I think I've got to a point where I know I'm not girlfriend material though I am a terrible romantic who will openly admit to falling for some guys, as long as I'm happy and they're happy then that's all good to me. I think I'm too weird to actually be with someone, I'm over it and enjoy being single, it's fun and free and it means i don't have to stop being myself for someone to like me.

Re: Young and single!

somuchforendings — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 15:33:10 -0700

I'm 22. I've never been in a real relationship and, honestly, I've never wanted to. I've been kissed once and been on one date, but both of those experiences were less than satisfactory and it kind of killed my desire to find out more. I'm not anti-romance or anything, I just have ridiculous standards and ridiculous personal needs. I figure whenif I find the right person, I'll get over myself. Until then, I'll stay happily single. :)

Re: Young and single!

J.M. — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 16:02:42 -0700

Being single is so great. I took a dedicated year off from relationships from August 2010 to August 2011 after ending a pretty unhealthy relationship. It was the best year of my life so far, and I am in no hurry to get back into a relationship. It's not just the factor of having more time to myself. It's being able to find out more about who that self is. I see it happen all the time. People (of both genders) put so much of their identity into their relationship that they are completely void outside of it. I figure that if I'm working on developing my own identity and focusing on being a complete person without needing a S.O. then I'll eventually run into someone who is doing the same. No co-dependency for me. I'll hold out for a relationship that involves two independent, unique individuals enhancing each other's character rather than defining each other. Plus having more time to do things like NaNoWriMo is pretty nice.

Re: Young and single!

Sonnet2005 — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 16:31:57 -0700

So what does it say about me that my most serious relationship was with the same guy, twice? We dated the first time for a few months, broke up, got back together, dated for a few more months, and then broke up again. I just joined OKCupid because I haven't been on a proper date in over 3 years (....oh god) but I can't seem to make myself take that next step beyond seeing who's looking at my profile. And I do wonder if I don't subconsciously repel men. I agree with MeganDurham that I'd rather be alone and happy, than in a relationship just for the sake of it. But sometimes I get lonely and it would be nice to have that "special connection" with someone. Aaaand I totally sound like a romcom cliche. Yay me!

Re: Young and single!

Chirijiradin — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 17:42:30 -0700

I'm a guy and I've recently turned 20, but I've yet to have anything resembling a relationship. Never had a girlfriend, haven't had my first kiss, hell, I haven't held a girl's hand before. It doesn't help that I have absolutely no self-confidence, and I don't think I'm particularly attractive. I've had a couple crushes that never went anywhere, but that's it. I want to find someone though. I really do. But I have a hard time believing any girl would want to be with me at all. But I'm ready to give up. No girl has ever shown interest in me, and I honestly have no idea what to do.

Re: Young and single!

Rosethorn225 — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 18:52:15 -0700

Hiiii everyone! :D I have to beat the dead horse and agree: I see a lot of people around me who are in relationships because they just want to be in a relationship. Admittedly, I was on that same boat...and now I'm taking a break. I'm trying to just chill and find myself again. I'm hoping NaNo will help me do that.

Re: Young and single!

MissGlitterWings — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 19:48:27 -0700

so who wants to go on a chat-date? lol

Re: Young and single!

blissfulrain — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 00:50:26 -0700

Hi everyone, I'm 21 and have never been in a relationship. Not for a lack of trying though. I've had a few bouts of unrequited crushes and have been the target of them too. I guess I'll just keep looking for the right person to start a relationship with. In the meantime being single has its perks like not having to deal with awkwardness or a breakup when I move further upstate in January.

Re: Young and single!

BrBckRider — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 07:24:11 -0700

I love this thread. It makes me feel much better about being a spinster-in-waiting. My family is partly responsible. I have one aunt that's been married to her college sweetheart for nearly 30 years. They are considered freaks in my family. Every other adult member (parents, grandmother, one uncle, one aunt, one honorary aunt) have been divorced, a couple of them many times. One aunt is on her third marriage and never bitching about how much her husband annoys her. So I guess I'm a bit gun shy when it comes to commitment. But I am quite content to be single. I have nothing tying me down and I can pick up my life and go wherever I want. I have no one to answer to except myself. It's not that I'm against relationships or commitment, I just don't see the point (or sanity) in attaching yourself to someone for the sake of being attached. I will be single until I find someone whose company I enjoy as much as my own.

Re: Young and single!

Almira Torralba — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 09:16:14 -0700

Was talking with my sis and my best friend over coffee tonight. All three of us are dedicated to our respective professions/future professions (sis is a teacher, bestie is a law student). And we all just want to end up with guys who'll respect our choices to pursue our careers. Which may mean we may end up being single forever, if careers will take the forefront. Our reasoning: our careers came *before* the boys, why should we give our dreams up? Is this rational?

Re: Young and single!

Eunoia — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 12:10:47 -0700

Well, I broke up with my first proper boyfriend a few months ago and we'd been together for just over two years but other than that, I've been single pretty much all my life. I used to think no one would ever be interested in me but my old boyfriend proved me wrong. I'm still suffering from the break up so I have to be single and I'm not interested in anyone but him anyway. So yeah, young (twenty) and single. It's just even more depressing when I hear people my age getting engaged/married and being in long term relationships.

Re: Young and single!

JustLie — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 13:50:55 -0700

Also young and perpetually single. On the one hand, it would be nice to at least know what it's like to be in a relationship, so I can compare the two states, but on the other hand none of my dates/love interests/crushes have ever worked out. Probably there are people interested in me that I would get along with, but I'm just not yet at the stage in my life where I can notice them, respond in kind, and take the risk of getting my heart broken. I feel like I need to develop myself a lot more before I can even think about adding someone else to the mix. Right now I'd be a terrible girlfriend. The fact that I am somewhat living in two different countries, and like my freedom is also a pretty good reason to stay single. All in all, I'm glad not to be in a relationship, for now.

Re: Young and single!

Enjorous — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 17:39:05 -0700

So I heard the words that make my flesh crawl every time...those words are "so why are you single?" Somehow I managed not to throttle that person. Am I the only one that utterly hates that question?

Re: Young and single!

ClaudyKeira — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 21:05:51 -0700

I am single too xD I'd love to have a boyfriend...but I just guess I am too focused on my career goals right now. I also know that I have MUCH TOO HIGH expectations. Never had a BF...so, still naive and dreaming on THE GUY. Well...one day it'll be right....right xD Hopefully...worst case...there's always adoption xD

Re: Young and single!

LElise87 — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 22:05:04 -0700

Yep, I'm definitely the odd one out in this conversation I think. :P I am single and I hate it. I had what I thought was a really great relationship (almost 5 years, expecting a proposal and got dumped instead...for another girl no less). To say utterly crushed might be an understatement, so I absolutely agree to the people who say its better to not have been in a relationship than a string of bad ones. I tried to date "casually" for a few months but that sucked. I miss being with someone who understands me, who likes my quirks, who knows what I'm thinking without even speaking. I've tried to dive into my own hobbies and things but I can't muster any interest really because I don't have anyone to share it with, or talk about it to. And I'm always at my best in a relationship (a good one that is), a good responsive and responsible man absolutely brings out my best character traits. So I hate being lonely but I'm holding out for a good man to come along.

Re: Young and single!

Maneden — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 03:49:29 -0700

I am happily single. I was in a 4 year relationship up until about almost 2 years ago when I ended it due to various circumstances. While I miss him terribly some days, I believe it was a good choice as I could never be what he wanted from a woman. We have never spoken again, understandably. Unfortunately I lost some friends along the way - probably the hardest part of it all for me as I needed their support more than they knew. It has made me a stronger person and I have realised that I do not need to lean on anyone but I can stand on my own two feet. I miss being friends more than having a relationship - it always seems to complicate things, don't you find? Though sometimes I wonder what it would be like to know that you have someone at your side forever, but then I get over it and give the dogs hugs :D

Re: Young and single!

Trina — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 08:03:53 -0700

I'm a coward when it comes to commitment. I've been proposed to twice and I have run like the dickens both times. I am currently in a type of relationship, but with a much older man, and one that I am not going to marry. We are more like companions for each other (I love him, but he's also 'safe' for me, if you get my drift). I would like to get married someday, I think, but then I wonder about how bored I get with people I've known for a long time (I know, that sounds awful, but it's true) and how I like to meet new people and I get afraid. Plus, like many of you, my parents divorced when I was young and both remarried and neither of them seem to have been blissfully happy in any of their relationships. Then again, my 21 year old brother has been with his high school sweetheart since they were both in 10th grade and want to get married soon! We're so different!

Re: Young and single!

YGJunkie85 — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 12:29:11 -0700

Soon to be 26 (on the 7th. Whee, NaNo season birthdays) and single. Managed to pull off two spectacularly awkward relationships over the past decade. I think it's just women born on November 26th that I should avoid. (I still think there's a conspiracy of some sort as they both had the same birthday and both broke things off after getting caught cheating. If it's a matter of my life is secretly a sitcom of some sort...it needs better writers, 'cause these shenanigans are getting old.) Now I'm content in my singlehood. Let's me live my life as I so chose. I just happen to chose to spend most of the time writing, reading, and otherwise being nerdy. :D

Re: Young and single!

WileJ — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 13:06:11 -0700

I've been a life long single more by circumstance than anything. Somehow every college I attend has a greater girl to guy ratio (which has only gotten bigger as time's gone on, go figure) and then I was living at home in the middle of mostly nowhere working two jobs in a place where the only single men were either total rednecks, farmers, or wanna be gangsters. Really not a good combination. So, yeah, pretty much have just accepted the singleness. Not actively looking, not against either or. Just sort of ... waiting? Seems a strange way to put it but I'm pretty much in the mindset of it'll happen in its own good time, which has pretty much become my motto for life in general.

Re: Young and single!

ClaudyKeira — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 13:50:24 -0700

I get you guys who say that you hate being single...I'd love to say that...but I don't know anything other than being single so I guess it would be a little unfair to say "I hate it." I just don't know anything else...in my dreams I'd love to have a BF but...there just wasn't the right guy yet...And I tell you...I am 20...but knowing so many people who have their first BF at age 14 or younger makes me feel pretty old never having had a BF...not to mention the Teen Mom friends I gathered in the last couple months...not that I wanna be a mum...but having a 16 year old friend just turned mother makes me feel terribly old and I start ask myself what's wrong with me (not about the Baby-thing).

Re: Young and single!

alittlesas — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 15:28:02 -0700

I'm single too. I suppose I'd like to be not single eventually but I'm content. I know who I am and I know what I want out of life and I am not willing to compromise that just to have a relationship. Maybe I'm a little old-fashioned but I don't want to date around. I'm only going to date someone that I can actually see myself with long term....And I'm holding out for Joseph Gordon-Levitt... :) In all honesty though. Sure, I'd love a relationship. I'd love someone to snuggle with on cold winter evenings. Someone to drag to all my family gatherings. But I'm happy where I am at. I'm happy to wait for the real thing.

Re: Young and single!

lyrwriter — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 02:04:21 -0700

Aye, Singledom is where I make my abode... Truth be told, I have this weird thing where I cannot feel attracted to a guy unless I know him really well for a long time (just learned there's a word for this, actually). As a result, I have had exactly one relationship in my life (for 1.5 years in high school), and the guy in question was madly in love with me for two years before I liked him back. You've got to give him major points for persistence. I'm now almost 22, and while I don't really mind that this is how I function on the whole, I have to say that in college, it can be kind of a pain. For one thing, I can't really participate in evaluations of attractiveness because I just don't look at guys that way. When another girl says something like, "Oh, [so and so]. He's super cute!" and then turns to me with this expectant grin because she thinks I'm going to agree with her, I just have to smile awkwardly and shrug. It's like I'm missing a gene or something. I can recognize on a purely aesthetic level that someone is nice to look at, but it has no effect on how I feel about that person. Hookup culture is definitely not for me. I also seem to often find myself on the receiving end of romantic interest that I am unable to return. I don't know why this is such a big recurring theme in my life, but it is, and to be honest, I just don't get what these guys see in me. (My self-esteem is fine; it's simply not at all connected to my "attractiveness", whatever that means.) Plus, it's such an uncomfortable experience, being liked by someone I don't like (in that way). I know it could seem as though I'm complaining about something stupid or petty, but it really doesn't feel like that. I mean, being rejected may suck, but rejecting people (particularly guys I like as friends) is no fun either. Okay. Rant over. Whew. Thanks for listening. :-) The point is that these days, I'm just focusing on other stuff. I do think there is a guy out there for me, but I'm not going to go looking for him (nor do I expect him to go looking for me). And I think that when our paths cross, things will just fall into place. :-) So I guess I'll join everyone else who's in the "waiting" stage....

Re: Young and single!

Saspirilla — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 04:39:11 -0700

22 and never dated. Sure, I've met guys I like but none of them were 'right'. I'm comfortable (mostly) with who I am, but I'm shy. Painfully shy unless I'm with people I've known for a year or so, which makes things all the more awkward. I don't know how to project my emotions very well. There's a guy I like in my writing group but he's 10 years older and plans to propose to his long-term girlfriend in the next couple of months. I'm happy for him. One of the other guys (the ML actually) is a great guy, but he's been with his girlfriend for 10 years (or thereabouts). Half of the girls in my year at school are in relationships (engaged mostly), married with a kid, married with kids on the way or have kids. It gets a bit depressing when I think about it. I often have dreams about meeting someone. He's usually tall (not exactly hard when compared to me), blonde with his fringe falling into his green eyes and has a great smile. Kind of sad, really. I'm not interested in clubbing or going out and getting wasted. I'd rather wrap up in a duvet and watch a silly movie. Would be nice to have someone to snuggle up with.

Re: Young and single!

DaxBenny — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 14:37:44 -0700

24 and single here. I'd say its a little by choice and a little not. Basically I have an incredibly hard time holding interest in a girl(usually it stops before we even date). There's one girl who has defied that but there are several things keeping me in the perpetual "should or shouldn't I" mentality about it. My main issue is that for some reason the only girls that are drawn to me are lesbians and girls with issues. I'm guessing its because I'm one of those non-threatening guys who listen. Ah well, between school, work, NaNo, then Star Wars the Old Republic coming out (yeah yeah, nerd flag flying) I'll be able to keep up the excuse of being too busy for quite some time. PS. It seems so many people are in the same boat of knowing it isn't logical to date but at the same time really don't want to be single/lonely. Its good to know I'm not alone on that front.

Re: Young and single!

NikkiiN — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 16:00:56 -0700

I'm single, have been for pretty much all my life. I've had a couple of relationships that felt serious at the time but we're actually just teen relationships, very few of them lasting longer than a month or two. I'm enjoying being single in that I get to do things I want to do on my own time. Thing is I've gotten so stuck in that way that when some one comes along that I start seeing I get all miffed that I'm having to change what I want to do when. I do dislike the lack of someone to cuddle, talk to and just other coupley stuff but then again, I have a cat. My friend and I have resigned ourselves to the probability that we're going to become crazy old cat ladies, at least after I have a brief stint at a Samantha Jones (SatC) lifestyle for a little while.

Re: Young and single!

SVEllis — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 20:34:20 -0700

My son's mom and I recently ended our relationship. We had always kind of said (and it definately was more important when our son was born) that we'd separate before we loathed each other as that is the relationship her parents and my parents both had with one another. So after weeks of constant bickering she told me that she resents feeling like a single mother (we've been long distance) and I told her I didn't think she was the in the right place emotionally for a relationship and we decided to call it quits. I can't say I'm happy about it or 'over it' but I'm happy it ended when it did rather than allowing it get worse. I still love her very much and any future relationship will have to accept the fact that we will remain close if for nothing more than our son's sake. I don't think I'm looking for a relationship or anything but that doesn't mean something won't come up. I'm not sure why I'm rambling here. xD it's 11:34 at night and I'm sleepy I guess haha.

Re: Young and single!

mamavalerius — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 22:47:15 -0700

I'm 25, single, and successful. I have a bachelor's degree, I have a career that I love, I have published a book, and all around, life is fantastic. Maybe it scares away the guys? Still, I don't have much to complain about!

Re: Young and single!

Chigun — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 03:26:05 -0700

23 and single by choice. No dates or kisses or any of that jazz. I've been a fairly happy person up 'till now, and don't have a hole in my life needing to fill up with a relationship of that kind. Perhaps one day I'll get serious... But the idea of being married, having children, etc. just doesn't appeal to me in any serious way. Which is partially why I've not tried the dating scene. I see even casual relationships as the first step on the road to married life (or something analogous to it). It's not a "fear of commitment" but more of a total disinterest in that life situation. Why change something so drastic when change is not wanted? Pleasantly surprised to see so many others in the same boat.

Re: Young and single!

xclearskiesx — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 07:57:18 -0700

I've been single since the summer before this passing one (after my high school graduation), but I tried to get back with that ex last December. It was stupid and pointless, neither of us were compatible. LOL. In retrospect, we're complete opposites and not in a good way. So yeah, I don't really enjoy being single, but I think it's a good place for me to be right now. I do enjoy the freedom to look around at boys and have minor crushes, but sometimes a girl gets lonely. Not too big of a deal though, since I'll just talk to my friends or occupy my mind with something else. I've been in two major relationships, and both ended in severe disappointment, so I dunno. I think I just gotta do my thing, and eventually I'll find someone worth while. ^^ And anyway, every time I'm in a relationship my creative juices tank, so I'd rather have my muse than a boyfriend at the moment. xD

Re: Young and single!

anotherscribess — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 08:15:22 -0700

Single, and will actually be kicked out of this forum next year (I'm 29). In theory I'd like to be in a relationship, but if I'm honest with myself, I'm not really willing to put the work into it--particularly with NaNo coming up! But a lot of my friends are married with kids or trying (and have been trying for a while) to have kids. I'd like to have kids at some point in the future, and truthfully seeing the difficulties some of my friends are running into makes me a bit concerned about my chances. But I guess there's always adoption. When I'm finally willing to work at a relationship, I mean. :P

Re: Young and single!

Kandiman — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:57:27 -0700

Take a seat, folks, for I'm going to drop a story on you. For those feeling badly for themselves, let this serve as a "hey, I guess it doesn't suck so much" moment of zen. I'm 26 years (and seven months) old, I've been engaged three (technically... One was a really bad drunken idea) times, I have two kids. My ex-fiancee left me for one of my 'friends' four and a quarter years ago (Okay, four years, two months and six days. But who's counting?) and managed to do so in the most brutal fashion. It's worth noting at this point that she cheated on me constantly in the three years we were together. And I mean it when I say constantly; I was too weak-willed to leave her, plus she got pregnant pretty soon after we hooked up, so I did the 'fatherly duty' thing. One day, out of the blue - whilst we were in bed together, no less - she announced that she was leaving me. Actually, she announced that I was leaving. She told me she was seeing someone else and basically ordered me out of my own home in the middle of the night. I was living three hundred miles from my nearest relative. I refused to go, argued, tried to talk, figure things out, whatever. And yes, I got angry and shouted. Who wouldn't? So she called the police, had me arrested and charged with domestic abuse. I never - I cannot stress this enough - laid a finger on her. Even when she tried to kill me whilst pregnant with our second child. Yes, you read that right. She tried to kill me and I did nothing, I was that passive. So I'm arrested, wheeled away, put in front of a judge the following morning and offered the following options: A) Plead 'not guilty' and get called back in front of a judge a few weeks later to clear my name. Or B) take a 'guilty' plea and go home to my kids. I did what any father would do and chose option B. Only to be told, as I was leaving, that I wouldn't be allowed to go home or I'd end up back there. So I called her to reason with her. He - the new boyfriend - answered the phone. He told me she'd called my family, they were coming to collect me and my stuff, and if I came near the house he was going to kill me. I've seen my children twice since that day. They were basically kidnapped from me. My whole life stolen in a matter of minutes. I've been single (bar a week-long fling with a nutcase) ever since, and I intend to stay that way. I wasn't great with people to begin with (I'm autistic) and the one time I truly opened myself up to being in a real relationship, to being a family man, I got abused horribly. It's left me broken and literally scarred for life. I currently exist in a horrible limbo: I'm single, I'm extremely lonely, and I know I can never trust any woman again. I don't trust the women who are related to me, my best friend is female and I don't particularly trust her, either. I'm generally terrified of all women. I'm a living lesson to everyone, I think. Autism aside, I used to be an outgoing, fun-loving kind of guy. I had an easy nature, a good heart and an uplifting spirit. Now I'm the absolute picture of a broken man, a lost soul, a destroyed persona. Doomed to live alone, doomed to die alone. But I'll take that so long as I never have to experience any of that again.

Re: Young and single!

MaiaT — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 13:39:50 -0700

Yep. Single and never had a date, I'm just the girl that is a good friend for all, but nothing more. Being a little self-centered, I think they feel "not worthy" because of my many talents. LOL Being honest, is just that I'm too shy or hurt to let someone be that close. I have reached my limit of unrequited love, so I think I'm going to be a spinster. But I'm kindda ok with it. At least, most of the time.

Re: Young and single!

Amberlynn — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 19:44:37 -0700

Single partly by choice, mostly by circumstance. I was in sort of a "will they or won't they?" relationship with one guy and, well, we didn't. Long story short, whatever we had ended abruptly. After that I wasn't really interested in dating and instead focused on school and getting my degree. At least that was my excuse for last year. This year is just bad luck :/

Re: Young and single!

FallenAngel54 — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 21:59:37 -0700

Single and ready to mingle! Okay, not really... but I am single and am in the "don't-give-a-crap" category on if I get a significant other anytime soon. I'm just taking things as they come... I have been on a few dates, some were awesome... some horrible! Most of them have been horrible. Don't feel bad if you've never been on one. Sometimes I wish I was in that group. >_<

Re: Young and single!

Xue Hua — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 01:50:49 -0700

24, single and haven't ever really had a date though have no real inclination! Far too bust with work, studying, ice skating and writing - where would I find time to add a man into my life? ...Do feel a bit sad sometimes that I choose career over social life, but I'm not really confident enough to go out dating. ^^;

Re: Young and single!

Miss Dusk — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 07:28:58 -0700

I'm 23, never been in a real relationship, I work 40hrs a week, all the guys that approach me either don't have a job, no money, no apartment, no driver's license, no car. I'm not going to do everything for him. Honestly, the no driver's license scares me half to death, what if something happens and I can't drive? Who will then? Also, it just makes me mad because then I would have to be the DD every time we went out. That's not happening.

Re: Young and single!

detect_bella — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 13:51:44 -0700

I'm finding that being single suits me just fine these days. I had my first serious relationship from July of last year through April of this year, and then dated another guy for about four weeks after that. My main problem with both of them was they proclaimed they loved me after two weeks. I'm sorry, but I just don't believe love happens that quickly. And then they were both very clingly... couldn't handle that at all. So now I am single, live with my dog in a two bedroom apartment and only ever have to worry about pleasing myself, and the dog. The only thing I miss is having someone to help with the bills. LOL Does anyone else face the problem of wanting the people that you date to be as awesome as the characters that you write? The guys I've been around just haven't added up.

Re: Young and single!

Magpie Ilya — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 15:18:09 -0700

This thread is making me feel so much better! Sometimes it's really depressing when I realize I'm nearly 25 and have never had a boyfriend. And I looked it up this week, Curse of the Black Pearl came out in 2003. So that was the first/last time I went on a date. At not-quite-17... eight years ago. And that was a mistake. We could have been friends... maybe. A couple, not so much. I actually spent years feeling so ashamed of letting it drag on for about two months, sometimes making excuses to get out of dates, instead of just telling him it wasn't going to work, that I just pretended it never happened. Since then... there've been about 3 people who tried to ask me out (without counting the obvious creeps), but I was too shy (the first one, I'd only gone because I already knew the guy). At some point, I told myself I'd have to start giving them a chance... if only the chance to run away screaming when they realize how "odd" I am. Not that there's been much opportunity for that - Tuesday was the first time since I made that promise several years ago. I went for a coffee with this guy who'd asked me at work, but meh... he's much too ordinary. I refuse to believe that I'm "too odd". I'll just hold out for an equally quirky guy - they have to be out there! But at least I did tell him it wasn't going to work, and I saw no point in meeting again - major progress for me. I'm no longer as shy as I was, I can joke and make small talk all right (thank you, job, for teaching me that), but personal conversations with near-strangers still freak me out. There are definite upsides to being single... even though I've learned to have fun hanging out with people (used to be far more exhausting than entertaining for me), I'm still an introvert, and I really need my me-time to recharge after dealing with customers all day. I already find it hard enough to meet with my few friends regularly - I don't know how I'd fit in another person who'd expect to see me more often than once a month. Not to mention I really enjoy living on my own. Nobody to talk to me in the mornings (I'm so not a morning person!). Nobody to share my hot shower water with. Nobody bothering me when I want to write. Being able to eat what I want without worrying if it makes me fart. Nobody who'd mind if I go to bed without a book (or spend hours on some forum). Being able to have the occasional lazy day, drop everything - work clothes, bag, groceries - in the hall, skip the shower, and plop down on the couch... Thinking about this, I should really be glad to be single. But I want to find out what it's like to love someone, to be loved, to be in a relationship... and I want to have children, several of them, and I want to be in a stable relationship when I have them. And there are those evenings when I do feel a little lonely... Still, I'm not in so much of a hurry that I'll actively go out and look for a boyfriend. Wouldn't know how, either. I don't get out much (I've only been to a bar once in my life, and that only because I felt obligated to accompany my classmates and our partner class from Sweden), when I go dancing, it's medieval dance, where the only guys are accompanied by their wives/girlfriends (so I usually end up dancing with another woman), and the only other time I get out among people is at write-ins, which have a guy:girl ratio of about 1:10. Same thing online - the forums I frequent are dominated by women, and in the world of garden blogging... well, I can't remember who posted that line, but it's seems to be true: All garden bloggers are either women or gay. (It's really quite funny, all the gay men I "know" are garden bloggers (who I only know online)). And at work? I work in a plant nursery/flower shop, and all the guys my age who shop there are buying flowers for their girlfriends OK, with one exception so far, but as we know, he was much, much too ordinary. Still, kinda nice to know that it does happen. But oh well. I'll keep on being myself - I think I've grown up to be a quite friendly and cheerful person, and as outgoing as a basically introverted person can be, rather a lot more self-confident than I ever thought I would be, and, yeah, pretty damn quirky... keep being myself (like I could be anyone else, hah!) and keep pushing myself to get out among people, and see what happens. Life's still long (I hope, anyway!)

Re: Young and single!

peacefulmisery — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 10:07:34 -0700

i am single. i am sadly experiencing the annoyingly needy "i really just want to find the one for me!" feeling. but i am in the weird position of wanting to find a Christian man who shares my faith and complements me spiritually, as that is the most important aspect of my life. indeed, it is my whole life. so it's hard. my standards are naturally higher. i have dated a lot, but most i have known from the get-go haven't been right for me. so right now i am single and truly feel like i'm waiting to find someone who i definitely feel is worth getting to know. no more mindless dating. i'm ready for someone genuine. one day, hopefully. but here's the kicker: i am kind of quirky. and bipolar. and most guys are scared of "basketcases like me." it's hard. i'm not your average, normal girl. i am an oddball, and have always been the outcast in various circles. even in my church, which i love, don't get me wrong. but i'm different than everyone else. my problems are different. so it's hard. anyway, i fear i am saying more than what most people here want to hear, but yeah. i'm single because it's hard to find a solid Christian guy who isn't afraid of my bipolar. :P

Re: Young and single!

spidyredneckjedi — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 12:03:27 -0700

I'm 27 and single. To me, however, it's not been that big of a deal. Like some of the other people here, I got stuck in two "will we/won't we situations." Both times, ended up on "won't." One of those was in college, and it lasted almost a year and a half before being answered. After that point, the person wanted to remain friends, and graduation and the "real world" were just a few months away. The last time was a year ago when a friend hooked me up with his sister-in-law who shared a lot of the same geeky interests. We went on a lot of group outings, but we seemed to just be on different wave lengths of what our relationship was, and when I finally started pushing for a description as to what we were, the relationship ended. I've never been kissed or held hands with a member of the opposite sex, and get the label of "guy most girls add to their friends list." I think a lot of me being single, however, deals with my location (rural Midwest towns are not known for their dating scene), my personality type (introverted, where I'd rather spend my time with a few close friends then out at a bar) and timing. Glaciers move faster than I pick up on the obvious sometimes, or just as I finally decide to ask a girl out, she finds a job in another town. I believe eventually things will change in that front, or if they don't, it isn't a big deal either. I have friends. I have a great family. For now, that just has to do.

Re: Young and single!

blackshellbowser — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 13:20:28 -0700

23 and single. Some 'eh' experiences in the past have kind of lead me to choose to be single. Right now I've had a lot on my plate that I feel I wouldn't be able to give enough attention to a relationship. I feel in about half a year or so, things will cool down to a point where I can pursue one. Do I get lonely sometimes? Sure, but at the same time, lately I've need time just to cool down.

Re: Young and single!

youmeaneverythingtome — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 14:15:35 -0700

22 and single due to circumstances. Of the 3 serious relationships I've had, they've always ended things. I feel like I'm never enough for someone. I know how much worth I have, but I want to know when men are going to start realizing this. This is the first time being single that I love not being attached, but at the same time, it does get really lonely. It's a long process and I'm learning to break through my insecurities with men, but I'm using my main character to deal with these issues. Hopefully I'll figure something out!

Re: Young and single!

ThunderSong — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 22:39:12 -0700

I'm single, never had a boyfriend before, and only been on one blind date set up by my roommate's date for a dance the three of us girls wanted to go to. I've had lots of crushes, but none currently. I'm glad I'm single, after all the stuff my friends have been through with their boyfriends. Plus it means I have the chance to look at all the cute guys up here at college!!! <3

Re: Young and single!

JustinJans — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 22:42:23 -0700

Hi, I'm one of the Singles club. So my track record is horrible. The only Official girlfriend I've had was in high school, and that was horrible. I've had semi relationships, but they've never been official and never gone past a couple of weeks. Once, I was the person being used to cheat on someone (I didn't know and as soon as I did I broke it off). I'm close to calling romance dead and gone, but I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic, so I'm sure it's not, but it is comatose. At leas around me. I just don't know how to talk to people and initiate conversations, so when it comes to women, they usually pick me up which, no offense to women who do that, but in my case, it seems as if these are not the types I am compatible with. Yeah, I just don't even know what I am going to do anymore.

Re: Young and single!

Cazzamanda — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 04:06:28 -0700

I'm 26 and single for just over a month now. So a little fresh still. But it's getting time to get out there and find someone who understands me. And hopefully treats me better than the last few partners.

Re: Young and single!

Flyingkage — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 08:01:14 -0700

20 And single for almost a year. Still looking at the cute ones but so far they have their vices or just not the type of person for me. I think I've found a fault in my 'I'm going off of personality and looks are a bonus points" There is still hope it will come eventually though hopefully not another whiner because I pick school over talking/hanging out with him when I'm busy with school stuff while in a long distance relationship. More or less a person who can't stand up for himself when the people in work tease him. I do know I have an issue with being all lovely dovey in public more or less not depending on my BF and doing other things that other lovers may do together. I guess I need a partner who respects me for my independent self and choices to go to a movie to see a movie and not act like a bunch of kids. Though I do get lonely when ever the holidays come around or when I see my High school friends together.

Re: Young and single!

Sir write-a-lot — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 10:26:25 -0700

I'm digging this thread, just right up my alley for a hopeless romantic hoping to find a princess. Personally, I believe very strongly that we're not perfect, but some are perfect for each other. And I'm looking like a madman for that perfect match. Practically it's a journey, goddammit. I had many relationships, but never experienced that perfect match. Despite the unsuccessful attempts I haven't given up. Still believing in true love turning up around the corner or a bistro, must keep moving, increasing chances for bumping into her. May you all have the best of wind in the sails of love. I saw "Stardust" and reading the book these days, written by Neil Gaiman. The movie is fantastic, I was spell bound... It made me believe in love... Watch it if you want to stimulate your love muscle... Peace over and out..

Re: Young and single!

Thunder_Petal — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 11:05:40 -0700

23 and single because dating has just never happened! Working 45 hours a week as an admin assistant, and hanging out with friends (three couples) who do the same thing every week (pub, stay in, pub, pub, stay in, pub, pub, pub) because they've grown up and got mortgages. -_-' To be honest, I'm not really that bothered about being perpetually single...but once in a while it'd be nice to have that someone there. I just have high freakin' standards (which include NOT 'txt spking', and knowing the sodding difference between their/they're/there...which is apparently incredibly difficult). =D

Re: Young and single!

AniRemi — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 13:12:41 -0700

I like to say I've got a 22-year single streak. Yeah, so I'm one of those demure little girls that never dated. No, not even in high school. It's partly for lack of opportunity (a guy has never asked me out), and partly because I'm not all that interested (I've never asked a guy out either). It's just something I can live without right now, like world travel. Being attached would be awesome and I definitely want to be someday, but I'm not hurting because I'm single at the moment. And I want to at least have my bachelor's degree before I start looking in seriousness, anyway. At times I actually think I might be borderline asexual. I dunno.

Re: Young and single!

carolionroars — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 13:32:42 -0700

My ex was also my year long writing partner. Yep. I'm the one who broke it off, but it's been an awkward past few months since we share all the same friends and still have writing projects we want to finish. Finally we're mending things and I'm very relieved to be happy and friendly again, and of course to start work on our old projects. I broke things off because I felt like I wasn't being a very good girlfriend to her, and the long-distance was a little stressful for my tiny little mind to manage. I'd like to go on dates and have fun now, but I'm also paranoid and suspicious and easily bored, so there aren't a lot of people willing to put up with my neuroses. I'm twenty, so I feel like I have some time to find the right guy or girl, but I don't have a lot of experience. I do write a lot about relationships though - I'm just fascinated with love and marriage and threesomes and moresomes and the whole rainbow of sexual orientation.

Re: Young and single!

Oranbega — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 14:49:48 -0700

I'm 23 and a year out of a 5 year relationship that was an engagement. I've had a few far-from-serious flings since then but definitely find myself in a bit of a barren streak. I suppose I'm not exactly out looking for a relationship either: trying to focus on grad school and fun things like writing a novel in a month but there's definitely a companionship factor I really miss. As a few people have said I suppose this thread makes me feel somewhat secure about my situation when held up against others' situations but if I can impart anything to the young and creative ladies of the world, I'll say: Do not despair, there are people out there who appreciate your creativity, artistic affinities, and unique/individual aspirations!

Re: Young and single!

ModestTreasure252 — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 16:58:06 -0700

I'm 25 and I have been single for quite a while. Since then, I have met a few guys who went past the friends barrier but they would never cross into the dating barrier. They would either get scared b/c they didn't want to ruin the friendship, another friend would ask them out before I asked them out (I fell for the whole "guys want a patient girl" act 4 times and two of those friends are married to those guys), or they just wanted me for sex and I wouldn't give it to them and they felt awkward for it so they decided to just be friends. I'm not that upset over it. I like my job, I get to travel when and where I want, and I'm doing things in my life most of my friends cannot do. It does suck sometimes b/c where I live the people think anyone above the age of 23 who doesn't have a kid/husband is sad, lonely, and should be pitied. However, most of my offline friends were married/engage/had kids by age 21 and about all of them are divorced/no longer engaged/single parents. In the meantime I got a Bachelors and Masters degree, got my black belt, got to live in England for a while, and I got to travel to some neat places. Perhaps one day I'll find someone who wants to go on a proper date, but until then I have stuff to do, people to see, and novels to write ;).

Re: Young and single!

truecolors — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 17:55:42 -0700

I'm very single!

Re: Young and single!

LittleScissor — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 19:47:27 -0700

I'm 21 and single. I've dated but they didn't end up well but that was back in high school. At the moment, I don't have any real interests in dating or relationships. I just want to get through college and get out of this little town for a bit.

Re: Young and single!

Nicholas Sommerby — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 23:07:41 -0700

I'm single for the time being, but I have met someone that...at the moment I'm casually seeing (by their choice). I am hoping things change, but I leave it up to them when the time is right. I'm hoping NaNoWriMo doesn't end up straining anything too much, since I want to be really dedicated to it this year.

Re: Young and single!

braids — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 01:13:59 -0700

It's all my own fault, really. I'm socially anxious, so I don't get out much, and I don't have a lot of friends locally to do stuff with, plus I can't drive (not that that stops me). Add unemployment since January into the mix and now some health issues, and I've barely left the house at all. I'd like to be in a relationship, for myriad reasons (but the big one is feeling like I'm running out of time to get married and have kids), but at the same time, I like being on my own, and I also know I have to work on me first before I'm able to commit myself to something as big as an intimate relationship with someone. So I'm just staying positive and taking each day as it comes. I'm banking on 2012 being a good year, though.

Re: Young and single!

jaggedlittleme — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 02:06:17 -0700

I'm 28 and Divorced. Have had a couple of relationships since but no real luck with love. Am starting to think it is just a once in a life time thing.

Re: Young and single!

MystShadow — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 02:37:20 -0700

23 year old single loner here... though whether that's due to choice or adaptation is a little unlear. I've never been on a date, never been kissed and probably won't be any time soon. Thing is, i'm ok with that. Everyone around me is constantly on my case about why i'm still single. They tell me i won't find someone if i don't look. Could someone please tell me when being single became BAD? Most of my interests are somewhat solitary, and while i do enjoy getting out there and socialising, i'm rather shy in such situations. Once you get me going i'm fine but i'm always nervous about being social. On the flip side i love making new friends. Maybe i just haven't found someone who sparked that interest yet who saw beyond what's immediately presented?

Re: Young and single!

Duffius — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 07:10:31 -0700

24 and single here, it's not really bothered me until recently now my friends are all starting to 'find someone.' Thing is, i've never really looked so I don't even know where to start. Though I am good at making friends, and often get friend-zoned without even realising it. My interests cover fitness (mostly just cardio, love a good run), reading, writing (otherwise I wouldn't be here :D) and hiking in the Lake District or Wales. Once NaNo is over, i'm going to start hitting the bars and hope i'll strike it up with someone, if not, there's always online dating. :/

Re: Young and single!

sparkoflove — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 08:09:54 -0700

25 and single here. And contently so. I do, however, have some pretty high standards when it comes to a potential partner. But I also feel like this: if I am going to hold them to those standards, I gotta be good enough for them, too! So, I'm doing a lot of self-growth and development; everyday is an opportunity to learn something new and to transform my life. And it's not just so I end up in a healthy, vibrant relationship, but primarily so I can enjoy my life more -- no matter what the circumstance. So yes, I am 25 and single, but I am really liking this time to myself -- it's fun getting to know myself better and make my life what I want it to be. (And, honestly, that's much easier to do without balancing someone else's emotions, issues, insecurities -- "baggage" if you will, and we've ALL got it in some way, shape, or form... Yes, muuch easier, at least for now!)

Re: Young and single!

DocnOnsensical — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 09:07:42 -0700

Wow. I didn't expect this forum topic to have so many posts under it. Maybe it's the delusions and illusions of our regularly scheduled programs prodding me to think this way, or perhaps it's just because I'm naive? Still, it's surprising to me. I hope this adds some ease and solidarity to see so many people posting under this heading for those that are single (and looking/wishing/dreaming for the proverbial date montage from The Naked Gun). You can toss my name in the box too. I'm 24 and deadly serious about having a career in writing (freelancing, script writing, occasional journalism, etc.). Between that and being a self-proclaimed physician of nonsense, I feel my problem is that I'm not as attentive as I should be. Building a financial base is the number one importance now, and I can understand where that may be off-putting. Still, I feel having my own stable ground is a solid investment and base before launching full-fledged into the turbulent sea of dating. However, I want to wish you all the best when the competition starts. I hope the writing bug bites strong enough to spark a milieu of never-ending ideas. Boom!

Re: Young and single!

boblikesoup — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 09:37:40 -0700

I'm another single. My problem is I like smart girls and I'm 22 in San Diego. My last girlfriend was gorgeous but I had to break up with her because we had completely different interests: philosophy and learning vs celebrities and tanning. I don't think she ever would have done something like this writing challenge.

Re: Young and single!

number89 — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 19:29:28 -0700

22 and single for seven years. that's a third of my life right there. wow. I am surprised, i never noticed that. It's partly by choice, partly because the few choices I've made just didn't return the affection. Good thing I've got a tough hide when it comes to being rejected. The way I say it, someday there will be a girl who does return the affection and that will be fate. And that is not cheesy, lol.

Re: Young and single!

fingerpuppetporno — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 23:22:58 -0700

Power to the singles! We don't need a romantic support system, we got our own backs. At twenty, I've only ever had a handful of relationships. None of them lasted over two weeks and a majority of them we the cutesy puppy love relationships. In the area I live in, it's fairly hard to find someone my age that is interested in the same things or are tolerable in general. (Although, I'm sure I'm fairly intolerable to them in exchange.) Being single isn't really a bummer for me. My guy friends have actually openly admitted that I'm not really the date-able type, mostly because I'm pretty much one of the guys. But it all works. More time to be a dumb twenty year old, doing dumb twenty year old stuff. (And doing stupid twenty-one year old things in Vegas in February.)

Re: Young and single!

Twitch Was Here — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 23:59:28 -0700

I've never really been in a relationship. Teen years were rough (manic depressive borderline bipolar bleh), only been coming through the other side in recent years. Still not nearly comfortable enough with myself and my current lot in life to want a serious relationship (as if my social awkwardness would even allow it), but someday I'd like to explore the possibility. For now though, I just stick to shameless internet flirtering. :P

Re: Young and single!

AtalanBeardy — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 02:11:43 -0700

26, single for 8 years, and well, I've given up. At least when I die alone it will be interesting, as it's either going to be an accident, or if I know it's coming I'm going into the woods with just a dirk and trying to kill the first bear I see.

Re: Young and single!

akizakura — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 02:36:01 -0700

27 and single for about 9 months. I think I learned a lot from the last relationship. I'm an introvert and the person I was with couldn't conceive that someone would ever WANT to spend time alone. I tried to push myself, and while I do try to keep a good balance, if the person I'm with can't accept that part of me, then I am better off on my own for right now. Before that relationship I did feel like I was missing out, but for now I'm happily single because I feel like I have the freedom to do as I like.

Re: Young and single!

provehitoinaltum — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 03:42:08 -0700

I am indeed single and 21. Have had one relationship that lasted over a week during my entire dateable years and he was in love with his ex girlfriend the whole time he was with me. It worries me to no end that I will never get married. I know I'm still young, but jeepers, I want to start my family already!

Re: Young and single!

Kuragari91 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 06:26:22 -0700

I am 20 years old and graduating from my university next fall! I recently got out of a short relationship, so I don't even know if it counts. I am now in South Korea as an exchange student. PS: Female if it matters. I don't know how to check all of that on here. I'm a newbie. :)

Re: Young and single!

TGWild — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 11:17:44 -0700

26, single, simultaneously both more and less neurotic about it than ever before. (Less, because I'm not freaking out about being single or thinking that I'm doomed to die alone or that my life is incomplete without a partner. More, because my last relationship was a year ago, lasted six weeks, and was such an unprecedentedly glorious thing that I can't seem to stop thinking about her for more than a few hours at a time. I want to call this Post Euphoric Stress Disorder or something.) What is with you whippersnappers worrying about not having kissed anyone by age 21? Admittedly, I'm a bit odd, in that my first (five-year) relationship had already been over for two and a half years when I got around to my first kiss, which I understand is not the ordinary order in which things happen. Regardless, I wouldn't have changed a bit of it. (Well, I might have changed the awful personality defects that caused me to ruin my first relationship, but I think we'd have drifted apart anyway.) The second kiss was better anyway. (Note: if you are reading this and you are the first girl I kissed, please be assured that I take all the blame for any suboptimal kissing experiences.)

Re: Young and single!

rayruz — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 11:37:56 -0700

*raises hand* Yup. I'm single. About as single as they come. I've been single for the last 5 years? I've been on a few dates, and had a brief fling with a guy that turned out to be a total ass. Well, I was kinda a total bitch to him too, but he started it dammit. I've gotten hurt a lot over the years. People tell me I'm too pessimistic for being only 22, but I'm convinced I'm headed for little-old-cat-ladydom. I really do want a girlfriend though.

Re: Young and single!

welshficwitch — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 11:43:57 -0700

single and always have been! i'm 24 and i've always been overweight so never had a boyfriend (had chances to have a girlfriend but unfortunately am really not that way inclined...) and actually, given that i'm now suffering from severe depression from other issues, i'm glad! i'd hate to have put another human being through this crap, or through the lack of self that i've been...i actually wear a ring on my wedding finger at the moment, a symbol to me that i'm not ready for a fling or commitment...kinda a pledge to myself... plus i get to think "oh, that unbelievably hot man over there clearly saw the ring, and THAT's why he hasn't come over..." simples!

Re: Young and single!

gigadrive08 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 11:55:56 -0700

I'm single.. I could probably settle for some hot girl if I really wanted to do so, but I'd rather tough it out and find a nerdy, intelligent, funny, cute, conversational, likeable girl. All the sweet girls seem to be taken.

Re: Young and single!

Adaptation — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 13:22:07 -0700

I'm 23, and in July I broke up with my boyfriend of about a year. He still hangs around, wanting to get back together, and it makes me feel bad but I'm just so happy about being single right now. I don't want to have to deal with dating, or relationship politics or any of that crap. I'll get back on the dating scene later, but right now I'm happy just to be left to my own devices. Am I the only one who finds constantly being around someone else to be incredibly irritating?

Re: Young and single!

TurtleTape — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 17:43:38 -0700

I'm about to be 22 (17 days and counting!) and I've had all of ONE, count 'em, ONE boyfriend (and that was for all of three weeks). I'm a tad genderqueer and not a girly girl, rather independent, believe it runs off the guys, lol (in addition to the overweight/anxiety issues). I'm much more of a loner, anyway, though. I'm quite happy with my stays-to-himself room mate, my kitty, and my three fish. Oh, and my internet friends, they're the best.

Re: Young and single!

Angolera — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 18:16:35 -0700

22 and single! I broke up with my long-term boyfriend on January. I started dating a guy about a month ago, then realized that I was too happy being single and didn't really want a relationship right now (especially since I plan on moving out of the country within the next year) so I broke it off. This is the first time I've been single since the age of 13. I've had three boyfriends in rapid succession. I have to say, it's a very strange feeling, but so far I'm enjoying the freedom that comes with being single. Maybe because I've finally come to a place where I'm happy with myself and who I am.

Re: Young and single!

Solana Nyx — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 18:26:53 -0700

Ahem, 20 and single always have been (much to my dismay) but i am afraid i just cant accept a guy that is good looking but lacking in brains. I prefer the brains to looks any day. And i have had opportunities but alas when i date it will be for a long term relationship with a good man (if there are any left) and not some fling. Where have all the hopeless romantics gone?

Re: Young and single!

calenlily — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 19:48:52 -0700

20, single, one of the ones who really isn't happy about it. It's not the state of being single that I mind; I'm quite independent and have no desire to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. But the converse of my falling for people rarely is when I do fall for someone I fall hard, and don't let go easily, so I'm still a long way from being over my last breakup. My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me at the end of August, hadn't given any indication that anything was wrong and then one day he just calls me up and tells me he stopped loving me, he's in love with some girl in Costa Rica who he hasn't even met in person. Yeah, I'm kind of bitter, mostly because I'm still in love with the idiot. It doesn't help that he was my best friend before we were together, either. On the other hand, last year it seemed like out of doing my homework, making wordcount, and having sex, I could manage two out of three on any given day, so since I've made it past the too depressed to write stage of breakup being single this year may actually be good for my success at NaNo.

Re: Young and single!

readingme — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 20:38:30 -0700

*raises hand* Single for over a year now. I study and focus too much on my writing to have a relationship...clearly I didn't have an "I-will-die-alone-and-my-cats-will-eat-me" crisis yet :D

Re: Young and single!

Kuragari91 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 20:51:44 -0700

Okay, so once we all say that we are single and what our ages are, what do we do? Haha! I like to see how supportive you all are though! Very refreshing, esp. when it comes to writing. I didn't even know this existed until one of my new friends told me about it a few days ago. Very nice to see others with my passion. :)

Re: Young and single!

mandatheplaidpanda — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 00:12:26 -0700

22. Single. Had a hell of a year with my first few relationships. Apparently I'm not the best judge of character cause both the guys I was with Le sigh.

Re: Young and single!

notaghoststory — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 00:14:40 -0700

I'm proud to be single and I laugh in the face of those who give me looks of 'pity' whenever they find out that I am not 'settled' in my old age (I'm over 25, but barely!) Nothing wrong with being in a relationship but I am complex girl who needs a guy who is going to stick with me through everything. This includes understanding that whenever a new Silent Hill game is released, he will not see me for days on end. And that I really like Lucky Charms. Woe betide anyone who steals my cereal from me.

Re: Young and single!

maarow — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 01:01:12 -0700

I have been single for almost a decade now. Boy, it's a trifle alarming to write it out like that. I don't know if I've ever really been in a "relationship." In high school I had three girlfriends from freshman to sophomore year. The first was just a girl who hung out in my social circle; we were both single so it was sort of arranged that we would start dating. Still killed me when she dumped me six months later. The second was one of her friends I started talking to online (PSA: Don't date your ex's friends. Don't do it.). She was cute and weird and funny and our relationship was fine via text messages, but when we went on a real live date I guess I moved too fast (trying to hold her hand for example) and it freaked her out. I heard through a third party the awful things she said about me; it seemed to affirm every negative thought I had about myself and it really put me off dating, to the extent that I have still not taken a single step in that direction since. The third was a girl I'd been friends with a long time. I'm not sure I really felt attracted to her; our relationship was kind of boring when it wasn't needlessly dramatic. We argued a lot and when I broke up with her it pretty much ended that friendship. But I'm over it now. Really. I only get drunk and search for them on Facebook once or twice a month now.

Re: Young and single!

tyrantswine — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 09:19:25 -0700

Had a pretty unsuccessful relationship over the summer for about six weeks (if the definition of "success" is to be happier than one is while single)- I've yet to have a relationship last much longer than Lent. Not particularly unhappy with singledom, though I am always looking for someone who I could actually be in a relationship for any amount of time, if the qualities we have match up well.

Re: Young and single!

Gwennan — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 12:31:39 -0700

I'm 21 (about to turn 22 - I love having a birthday during NaNo) and I'm single. Considering what thread I'm posting in, I'm guessing that isn't a surprise. I've had boyfriends, been dumped and dumpee, but I've been single for the last year. I just finished college last May and it didn't make a lot of sense to find a significant other when I didn't know what city, state or country I would be in come this fall. I'm still not sure that it makes sense, even thought I'm settled into a house and job.

Re: Young and single!

munkiC munkiDU — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 13:23:10 -0700

I'm 24 and never had so much as a cheesy chat-up line thrown in my direction. Yay me.

Re: Young and single!

JMeadows16 — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 17:39:21 -0700

First of all Hi all, Im 24, been single since I was 18 and I finally after years of messed up nastiness realised and became content with being single. I see the freedom in it and enjoy my space, But I like so many out there wouldnt mind someone to snuggle with once in a while. That being said, In my experience, Im just one of the boys, my guy friends tell me so. It gets really annoying actually...*sighs* And yet I could post a sign or two in neon flashing colors for the sweet geek whom I want and he would most likely miss it. (yes I read the entire thread before posting) And I should toddle off and actually type some of my novel rather than procrastinate and hang out here. Talk to you all soon. -ta-

Re: Young and single!

Booradlee — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 18:43:08 -0700

Just turned twenty six, Went through the worst break up with my fiance last year. I've kissed about 4 girls before her. I've kissed about 15 after her. (I became a bit of a man slut for a little while) My break up was more of a long term, her moving, long distance, mother insane, on again, off again, flying to California not to see her kind of mess. Lately I mostly just try to keep myself in good enough shape, and psudo fashion, so I can be ready when Miss Nameless finally makes her entrance.

Re: Young and single!

Cmdroller — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 19:45:45 -0700

Well I really should be writing... But my creative juices don't start flowing until after midnight so I think it's ok for me to post on here for now! Hi everybody! I too am single! I went through a really awful break up 2 years ago and just haven't been the same since. I tried dating again for a while but eventually just decided to give up and wait until I meet the right girl... If that ever happens. You'd be incredibly surprised to see how hard it is to meet a really smart girl who you can actually communicate with! That being said, discovering NaNoWriMo and seeing all the amazing people on here has sort of boosted my confidence that I will one day meet that girl, as sad as that sounds! I suppose it's due to the fact that none of my friends, both guys and girls, read, let alone write. Coming on here and seeing how many great, intelligent, writers there are has been an amazing experience! But now look, here I am getting off topic! I better stop myself now!

Re: Young and single!

JMeadows16 — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 20:33:23 -0700

Being single isnt a hardship, Im sure youve seen every opinion on the topic and majority of us just kinda go with the flow. I dont hide....sorry I dont initentionally hide but somehow all the men out there have this idea that if they flash us a smile we will come willingly. (Sorry my experiences talking and i may have insulted someone with that statement, not my intention) I want to be chased but by the right guy, someone smart, who loves music, reading, and being real, warts and all. And since I have such high expectations, and he hasnt come around yet, i will remain single. Its safer... Getting off topic isnt that bad, its fun, and you never know if your characters are going to use this to their advantage.

Re: Young and single!

Maks87 — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 01:34:40 -0700

Hey guys, I am Maks. Single like everyone else on this forum and not happy about it (like 50% of this forum). Looking for a nice girl who enjoys romance and reading (writing too if at all possible) and honestly not interested in looks so much as a sense of humor and brains. New to the website and forum-type-stuff so i will leave it at that.

Re: Young and single!

Colonel Lappington — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 02:38:33 -0700

Also single here. It's almost impossible to find a girl who's happy being 4th or 5th place to all my hobbies, my dog, my family, my need for alone time, etc. I seem to attract very clingy girls :(

Re: Young and single!

Solana Nyx — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 00:02:25 -0700

Yes! I am so glad somebody said something! I agree 210%.... Maks87

Re: Young and single!

tobytoby — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 03:51:56 -0700

I'm pretty content, but a relationship would be nice.

Re: Young and single!

Melrudin — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 07:46:25 -0700

I'm single, as everyone else on the thread it. Went through a really bad breakup a few years ago when I was studying abroad. Started dating someone else a year later who then broke up with me when he started studying abroad... (Though we're still good friends) And, as a lot of people seem to be, I'm not quite happy about being single. Just graduated this year and am living on my own for the first time too so it's rather lonely. :/ (though my new-ish Kindle has certainly helped keep me company ^_^ as well as having this wonderful community on the forums!) I'm rather nerdy/geeky (everyone always has different definitions of those terms and so I never know which one to use...) and just not really the kind of girl who likes to hang out at clubs or stuff like that so it's not that easy for me to meet people since I've graduated. :(

Re: Young and single!

Quicksilver_Wolf — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 08:28:23 -0700

Yep, I'm single and not by choice. I kid you not - NO ONE will go out with me.

Re: Young and single!

nokcha8 — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 08:30:01 -0700

I'm 25 and feel comfortable being single for the most part. I'm pretty independent and just have so many other thoughts on my mind. The relationships I have with family and friends are very supportive and satisfying. But I have to admit there are times when I wish I had a significant other. I feel like I'm always looking out for others and there are days when I'd like to come home for once and have someone take care of me. Also, my family is prodding me to find a husband/have kids since age-wise I'm the 'next in line'. Which isn't helpful at all!

Re: Young and single!

Zouave — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 09:00:40 -0700

Oh, and Hi! I'm 28, currently working on the longest stretch of being single since I graduated High School, mostly by choice. I started my own business last year, am very active in a lot of areas, so I honestly haven't had time to date, or much of an inclination to. The right woman will change that, still looking for her for now.

Re: Young and single!

NightmareishRain — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 09:19:53 -0700

I'm 20, single for the past year and half and not happy about it. My ex doesn't even remember why we broke up and he's the one who broke up with me,. So I'm looking for affection honestly. ...

Re: Young and single!

mbrsart — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 09:30:46 -0700

I'm single both by choice and by circumstance. By circumstance because every romantic relationship I've ever tried to enter into has failed almost before it started. I've asked out two gals who just weren't ready for a romantic relationship, one who was a good friend but freaked out and totally cut me off before I ever asked (she still hasn't said a word to me since), a couple who I saw as way out of my league and didn't act, and one who said "I'll get back to you," and still hasn't. Call it learned helplessness, pragmatic thinking, or whatever, but I'm done with women. I made the decision that I want God to bring the right woman into my life, because looking for anybody at all has brought me nothing but depression. I've been reading the book "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy, and it's an amazing book for Christians who are romantically frustrated. But it's still hard for me to be single, because I'm a VERY romantic man. I've lived vicariously through my MMCs for years, and it's getting old.

Re: Young and single!

katieg89 — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 10:20:17 -0700

I'm in the same boat, mbrsart. Finally made the choice to be single and just wait until God tells me it's time and presents that person. I'll have to check out that book!

Re: Young and single!

snagamat — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 12:19:33 -0700

I've been so busy the last few years that I haven't had time to meet anyone new! I worry that my writing will just be a product of my not being in a relationship. I also worry that I won't get relationship-y things right because I'm so out of practice.

Re: Young and single!

Maks87 — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 12:21:15 -0700

Alright i need some female insight here for my novel. I am writing a dual narrative and one of the perspectives is female. Why are women afraid/nervous/holding back/hiding from men? What thoughts might cross your mind? Is there anything that would make it easier? Is there a circumstance that would motivate you to action? My character is slightly shy but very strong-willed and just needs the right situation to motivate her.

Re: Young and single!

reine_margaux — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 13:47:07 -0700

There's a lot of things that might make a girl hold back and honestly they aren't that different from the reasons guys hold back. One of them is self esteem. When you don't think that you deserve to be in a relationship. When you think that the guy's too good for you. When you're afraid of rejection. When you've been burned 1 too many times by guys who were more interested in sex than you and dropped you like a burning coal as soon as they don't get what they want or find something better... In my case what it took to motivate me to actually take action was that I knew the guy was interested, I knew that he was too shy to say anything, we'd known each other for years, I had realised that I was in love and he was the perfect guy. Of course because this is me and relationships never quite work out, I just got dumped and find myself among the single yet again. I'm kinda resigning myself to the fact that I'm going to be that I'm destined to be a crazy old husky lady (because I don't like cats much). My dog's always loved me much more than any guy ever has.

Re: Young and single!

parasite-z — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 14:41:30 -0700

Single and content. I'm too focused on writing, teaching myself foreign languages and entering my career to care much for dating. If I date casually, okay cool... If not, that's fine too. :D

Re: Young and single!

ilookedinthebox — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 21:58:37 -0700

I've typed on here already but I think I should make a little profile for myself now. Age: 20 Hair: bottle blond Social life: only a little here and there My deal: single ( duh) and looking as activly as I can. I was in a very serious relationship which I broke off about 9 months ago and I have yet to be able to find someone since, though I will never stop looking I have also spent this time on myself and trying to figure out whether or not having a relationship right now would be a good thing. My conclusion: No matter what I am going through I can always make time for a person I really care about therefore I should keep looking because I still want someone to share life with and I still want a lover and a confidant and I still desire someone to crack jokes with and create memories with that I want to remember whether or not we stay together. Short of the long: I am a hopeless romantic.

Re: Young and single!

ms_erupt — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 22:16:34 -0700

25, single, and very much content with that. I have absolutely NO desire to be in a relationship right now or even date casually. I have so much stuff going on that I can't imagine also having to add keeping up a relationship or dating to the mix. I have plenty of friends and family, and that's MORE than enough for me at the moment. I suppose it's possible that I might want a relationship in the future, but I absolutely do not ever want a long-term relationship. The idea is very unappealing to me, and I already have enough people I have I have to account for when I make a major decision without a romantic partner on the list.

Re: Young and single!

saluk — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 00:59:59 -0700

I got tired of chasing girls a few years back and decided to focus on finishing school and working on career and the things I like to do. Trying to like me for myself and not for what someone else thinks about me. Now I find myself fine with being single. Something in me still wants a relationship, sure, but it's kind of numb. I can't seem to want it enough to make steps to make it happen. If the right girl comes along, and happens to be single at the time, maybe it could work out. But then again I'm not that social, and I'm finding it a lot harder to meet people lately, with no school to fall back on, which was kind of the go to place back when I was in the market.

Re: Young and single!

harrowing — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 01:05:23 -0700

20. Single. Mostly apathetic about it though occasionally I yearn for a little something. I haven't been in a relationship in a while, but I also don't put myself out there. A lot of that has to do with anxiety and the fact that I'm riddled with insecurities. Being single is comfortable for me, but now that all of my friends are once again finding relationships, I'm starting to feel a bit weird.

Re: Young and single!

Bucqui — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 06:32:53 -0800

Is there anyone on this forum who is a little bit older than 21?? I'm 28 and broke up with my (in)significant other in January. I couldn't do NaNoWriMo last year because he really did suck up all of my time. So I'm quite glad I'm single at the moment!

Re: Young and single!

Cygfa — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 06:41:36 -0800

I've been single for two years, and right now nearly everybody in my circle of friends seems to end up in new relationships (some of them in that circle) so I feel a bit like the odd one out, but it's good to see that I'm not alone here. Besides that, I'm most of the time enjoying being single, just because I don't have to accomodate my life with someone else (I'm at Uni most days anyway, so I'm kinda glad to have a day to myself on the weekends).

Re: Young and single!

Sidoniehelena — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 10:04:43 -0800

I'm 22 and I've always been single (oh woe is me) but that's mainly down to the fact that when I like someone, I shy away. I pretty much like being by myself, but I also crave to have someone to share my thoughts with. I'm a bit tricky in that way. There was one guy when I was at college, but that was nearly five years ago, and I don't count him as a boyfriend as we never 'officially dated' I'm probably not with anyone at the moment either as I have anxiety issues, I'm not working and I hardly ever go out unless it's to a meeting for my anxiety. It wouldn't be fair to drag someone else into my pit of despair and put them under my constant panic attaks and bouts of 'oh crule world why me) - (as you can see I'm doing okay right now as I'm mocking myself :D ) but yeah.. For now I'm quite happy truckin' along and writing in my spare time, and doing Nano!

Re: Young and single!

quilled — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 11:37:49 -0800

I'm 22 years old as of November 4th (I celebrated by being about 2000 words ahead so I didn't have to write at all!) and single by choice. I want to focus on myself and bettering myself (I have severe TMJD and it's going to take years to reverse but at least I'm in treatment!) and hopefully publishing my novel. Not many other people understand this, for they tell me being in a relationship will make everything 'better.' Last I checked, relationships are usually stressful and require a lot of "us" time and preferably, I like just having a lot of "me" time. Call it selfish, but I vastly prefer being by myself. I don't like going out much if only because I'm in pain all the time, and I'm definitely not into the partying thing. Laying in bed with a book is much more my taste! Is it so terrible to want to be single? I don't think so! But I definitely have those people in my life who vehemently disagree.

Re: Young and single!

CB_Young — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 16:10:25 -0800

Being newly divorced count as single, right? If so, then Add another single by choice to the list. Hey, not having a SO gives me more time to work on my novel! ~CB

Re: Young and single!

bgreinhart — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 16:17:36 -0800

22 and adrift... just lived in London (UK) for a year and now trapped in rural Texas (USA). I'd describe myself as "moderately desperate" but I'm much more desperate to get a permanent job and permanent living space. Fingers crossed.

Re: Young and single!

mackenziebradley — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 16:23:23 -0800

I'm 22 and technically single. I have an unofficially on-again-off-again/friends with benefits relationship with my best friend, who I dated when I was sixteen. It's a really complicated relationship, so I just say I'm single because it's easier. I'm pretty happy with it. Except when I think about all my friends getting married/engaged/talking about getting engaged.

Re: Young and single!

Jacqueline Rochow — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 16:29:46 -0800

I'm 23. I describe myself as 'single but taken'. I neither have nor am looking for a partner. I had a boyfriend shortly after high school, and we dated for 2.5 years, before breaking it off amicably when he moved away. We're still good friends. I have no real desire to date anyone else. I don't entirely see the point. It takes a pretty special person to make me happier than I am by myself.

Re: Young and single!

Kathynja — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 19:04:41 -0800

+1 to the "Single but has a complicated friends-with-benefits thing." I'd love to be in an official-type relationship with the guy, but he keeps telling me he's not into me like that. He's confusing.

Re: Young and single!

sixleaf — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 19:22:14 -0800

Singleish. And of course, all my relationship problems have started spilling over into the novel.

Re: Young and single!

Sammet — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 09:04:12 -0800

I'm single and have been for a quite long time now. I rejected a guy quite recently, and that's my biggest fault really. I can't seem to fall in love? And still, I am in love with love itself. Maybe I'm just waiting on someone too perfect, or something. Either way, I'm single by choice but still not quite. I'm just waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right.

Re: Young and single!

Natamora — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 15:41:48 -0800

Is it okay if I ... like being single? I mean, sure I miss the physical things, but I almost prefer being by myself ._. Most people I meet don't understand my intense introvertism... but I really quite enjoy being by myself, or, being in a room with people, but not necessarily interacting. Other than that... my father thinks my eggs are going to dry up sometime soon. Apparently 22 is when I'm supposed to go through menopause.

Re: Young and single!

Hourglasses0 — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 17:24:15 -0800

21 and single. Broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years last November after a really tumultuous relationship with lots of highs and lows. So it's been a year, I'm still single, but I had a fling this summer that fizzled out. I am single by choice. I don't hate being single, but I do like the comfort of having someone to talk to and be intimate with, and having someone who truly cares about me. I love the idea of being in love, but when I'm actually a part of it, I begin to feel trapped and suffocated quickly. The problem with me is that I'm an intense person, and everything will be amazing for awhile, but the lows are also extremely intense as well. And I'm worried that I'm never going to find someone who is going to be able to put up with that. My last boyfriend was one of the kindest, and most patient people I've ever met, and even he couldn't deal with it after awhile. I've been called a "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" by various guys, and the problem with that is...they don't understand that I have my own weaknesses too. (Btw, I hate being called that, bleh.) I don't know, I've never really cared about whether I'm in a relationship or not. Rambling over!

Re: Young and single!

FariFax — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 18:16:09 -0800

I'm 27, and for the first time every i had a boyfriend and dumbed a boyfriend in 4 months. It was sort of whirlwind thing, but it went downhill fast. We met online, talked for almost two years before we decided to make things official, though we had not met each other face to face. Big mistake! When we did, thing's didn't click for me. But everyone told me that first impressions aren't the best so last week I went to visit him and it was worse. We are still friends as i do value his opinion with my writing and stuff but it was a horrible trip and it really opened my eyes with the dating thing. So in the end i'm a bit wiser then before and back to singlehood.

Re: Young and single!

tropical_fox — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 18:38:31 -0800

I'm 26 and single. My relationships have been few with much time in between each one. My last relationship was summer 2009; it ended with both of us still being friends. That same boyfriend wanted to get back with me this previous spring; yet he was moving to the west coast U.S. and I was moving to the east coast. So I told him no and I feel guilty because I think it did hurt him to some extent. I didn't mind being single all that much until this summer when my younger sis eloped. Most of my friends are married or in serious relationships. I had a guy friend who was also single; so him and I constantly joked about having "dead" love lifes. He has been dating someone for some months now. Although I haven't met her (and I don't want to jinx him), something in his voice leads me to believe that she might be his one.

Re: Young and single!

Quicksilver_Wolf — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 02:30:58 -0800

I'm 25.

Re: Young and single!

DeliciousAmbiguity — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 05:14:51 -0800

I'm 21 and I don't think I've ever really actively looked for someone to date. I'm always looking for friends though =D I mean, if something ends up developing between a friend and me, I'm not going to ignore it, but otherwise, I'm just glad to have a nice, stress-free friendship =]

Re: Young and single!

malinian — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 14:32:26 -0800

I'm 22 and ended my most recent relationship about a year and a half ago. I've had two fairly serious ones to date, which have since left me with a rather strong aversion to them. On most days, I'm very happy being single -- I like being able to structure my time my own way, and NaNo would definitely be more challenging if I had a significant other! -- but I should like to be able to date guys and not have it be too serious.

Re: Young and single!

genoboost — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 15:37:51 -0800

Turned 25, and I've been single for a little over a year now. The relationship fizzled out, but I am pretty well over it now. Plus I have so much free time to write and play video games. So I'm not complaining. Of course, someone to play video games and show my writings to still sounds nice.

Re: Young and single!

Porsche_DeadEyes — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 16:00:47 -0800

I'm 22 and like I can't keep a relationship going because I get extremely jealous, so I've more or less resigned myself to being alone. Though, I see relationships as experiences and they have been the muses of many the interesting poem or short story. I also have pieces of a novel scattered around, inspired by someone I was with. The last relationship I was in was 2 months, does it even count? That was about five months ago. But sometimes it's hard and you get all lonely -_- Meh.

Re: Young and single!

DarknessRekindled — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 01:47:15 -0800

I'm 23 and holy crap this thread is depressing. Oh well, time to add more fuel to the fire. I've been mostly single for a couple of years after the girl of my dreams dumped me a month after we started doing wedding planning. I've had a few brief relationships on and off but I tend to break them off because I have overly high standards for intelligence when it comes to the girls I date. Of course the girl who totally meets those standards isn't interested in dating me, but that's the way life goes sometimes. Because of this, I tend to have a lot of trouble putting any amount of romance into my stories. All my male/female relationships tend to be more the best friend/casual interest affairs. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but at some point I'm going to have to introduce a real relationship in a story. Any ideas on how to get some romantic inspiration out there?

Re: Young and single!

KatKristin — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 17:42:46 -0800

I've finally come to the point where I've more or less accepted being single, but wouldn't mind a relationship. My best friend in high school and I basically knew we'd get married. Then he went on a mission, (a mormon thing) and I had the chance to discover myself a bit more and found out I didn't believe in the same religion. Admitting that to him when he came back was one of the hardest things I've done. Because of it we broke off our relationship. Still great friends, but its sad to see him with his new girlfriend thinking it could have been me if the whole religion thing wasn't a factor. Blah, has anyone else had that happen to them?

Re: Young and single!

Nastashal — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 19:13:47 -0800

Totally just broke up with my boyfriend an hour ago because of the way he was treating me. I feel free at the same time I feel miserable. Hopefully absorbing myself in my novel will help.

Re: Young and single!

Shannanigan — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 19:33:45 -0800

My boyfriend of seven years and I ended things about a year ago. Seven. Years. But, we had grown into very different people than we had been when we were 16 and 17, and there was really no point in pretending that we were meeting one another's needs anymore. We're still friends. During our relationship, I discovered I was polyamorous and was able to comfortably explore that within the relationship. The end of the relationship really set me to sail on my own in new waters, and it's been an AMAZING journey that I would never take back. I've made some irreplaceable friends, some of whom have become loving partners as well, and I'm beginning to wonder if I'll EVER use the term "boyfriend" again, let alone even think about "husband." I'm too happy with the way my life is right now. :)

Re: Young and single!

rainsong — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 21:29:50 -0800

I'm recently single again - an I must kind of admit I like it that way, or I've just never met the right guy. My last boyfriend was great, except he wouldn't leave me alone! Seriously, a minute after we pated the messages would light up my phone and he would never stop, no matter if I said I'm busy, tired, don't want to talk etc. He even showed up at my house after I told him I was busy that day - actually I just wanted to sleep in - and to me that was a line he crossed as I never gave him my adress. Well I probably should kick myself for breaking up with him as he was hot, a international kkickboxer, and adored me but I just can't take that type of klingyness

Re: Young and single!

theox — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 05:54:33 -0800

I'm single (there's a reason I don't have a picture up...) but it doesn't bother me. Amongst other advantages it means I'm free to disappear for a month to write a novel. Which is nice.

Re: Young and single!

tsimbat — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 18:11:27 -0800

Single. I don't want to get into anything unless I think that there's a very good chance it could last, and I just haven't found anyone who I think it would be easier to live with (continuously factoring them into my daily decisions) than live without. I love people, but, I also need my time alone. And I don't like having to report back to anyone. But, I figure if I meet the right person, I'll want to include them in my plans. And fortunately, I'm surrounded by friends who support this, so, there's no pressure to go out and find someone. We're a kind of nerdy bunch, and there doesn't tend to be a whole lot of dating among us. (Mostly people go from being friends to being in serious relationships without much in between.)

Re: Young and single!

Cygfa — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 00:52:10 -0800

I'm a firm believer that things happen when they're supposed to happen, so I'm trying to enjoy my life as it is and just see what tomorrow will bring. There's just no use in worrying about being single, you either meet someone with whom it'll work or you won't and worrying won't change that. That frame of mind works most days.

Re: Young and single!

Saspirilla — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 04:33:11 -0800

I think I've already posted in this thread, but no matter. I'm 22, 23 in March, in my final year at University and I've yet to be asked on a date. I find it hard to open up to new people (badly burned by someone who I thought was a friend) during the first couple of years at high school. Last year, my ML and I were talking and he said "when you get a boyfriend-", I interrupted with "if I ever-" then he said I'll find someone eventually. Ha! I doubt it. Being alone sucks. I long to travel to London and see all sorts of tourist attractions and West End shows, but hotels cost a fortune when you say you are travelling on your own. I end up going with my mother or my granny, which does my head in! What I really need is a travelling companion, someone to chat to about what we've seen during the day, someone to eat out with, someone to walk hand-in-hand with through Hype Park and Kensington gardens, someone to snuggle up with in the comfy bed in the hotel. But I guess I'll just have to get used to travelling on my own. Who knows, maybe I'll meet someone on the train in the same position?

Re: Young and single!

chessapphire — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 10:03:47 -0800

Oh and yeah, I'm technically still a teenager BUT I'll be 20 on the 1st of December, so that's close enough to join the 20s forum, right? I mean I'm already 21 in Korea . . . and my co-workers say I'm 41 xD

Re: Young and single!

ppmusic2010 — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 10:56:58 -0800

Hi all! I'm single and have never been a relationship...I havent had any help with the fact that I live in a small conservative town, and that I am gay. Erin

Re: Young and single!

AsAboveSoBelow — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 11:01:47 -0800

Haha, wow, this thread is a bummer. but you know what? I'm 24, single, and kind of loving it. Being single means I don't have to answer to anyone and can actually focus on getting my shit together without considering someone else to add into the equation. It's nice. Oh so very nice.

Re: Young and single!

Ilenora — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 15:11:44 -0800

I met my first boyfriend almost exactly 7 years ago. We dated for almost two years. Then I somehow went through three distance relationships with very little time in between each - almost by accident, really. I ended the latest and most serious one almost two years ago, and have been single since. And I think I learned something. I'm not a "girlfriend-type". I've had some (even quite intense) crushes in the past two years, but I never actually wanted a relationship with any of the objects. I don't feel like I have the energy to live up to anyone's expectations. I'm fine alone, certainly better off than I was towards the end of the last relationship, feeling guilty and wondering wtf's wrong with me that I can't seem to say "I miss you" with as much feeling as the other person. What's wrong with me that I just couldn't feel as much and in the right way. Just thinking back to that time still fills me with this infinitely weary feeling. Anyway. In conclusion. Single by choice, and likely to remain that way.

Re: Young and single!

ParticleMan — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 17:55:40 -0800

Single, haven't had a girlfriend for longer than a few months at a time, I guess reading this makes it look like I'm not relationship material, but I swear I am (I think). It's certainly not through any lack of effort on my part. I haven't found a girl yet who can meet my emotional needs, I give and I give and I give and I've yet to receive anything. There is this girl I just met in Philly though...

Re: Young and single!

besasama — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 18:30:42 -0800

I'm a radical monogamist. That's what I've decided to start calling it. When I was 14 years old, I swore to remain a virgin until marriage (or death, whichever comes first). At 26, I am still serious about that vow...but it's becoming a real pain. Most of the world, if not now, then at some point in history, has implicitly expected this from young ladies, but here and now, people do not even seem to think it's possible. The worst of it is the guys who assume I'm not really serious, and hang out with me anyway, expecting that once I get to know them, I'll be open to the possibility of sex. I've even had a few try to seduce me as a challenge. Others seem offended, as though I'm wasting their time just by talking to them. To those obnoxious few, I would like to say, "Who's wasting whose time here?" I don't lead people on. If they want casual sex, then they can go find it elsewhere. It's not as though I'm holding a gun to their head, guilt-tripping them, or even judging them. This is my choice. If you can't handle it, find someone else. < / rant >

Re: Young and single!

briannajill — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 18:50:52 -0800

I'm 29 and have been single for almost two years. It's lonely sometimes, but mostly I love it. I get to do whatever I want, whenever I want. Nobody complains that I'm not giving them enough attention. I do miss having a best friend, though. That's a much worse void for me right now than being in a relationship. My ex was my best friend. He knew everything about me and then some. I have some girl friends, but I wouldn't really consider any of them best friends. It's hard.

Re: Young and single!

Lady_Shiva — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 09:00:06 -0800

I've 24 and have been single since I was 19. Most of the time, being single doesn't bother me, but sometimes, I'd love to have someone to cuddle up with, y'know? I'm not single because of a lack of guys interested in me.. it's more that I'm not interested in them. The ones that I *am* interested in, however... Yeah, typical cliche, right? XD *Shrugs* I'm figuring it'll happen when it happens, tbh. Though it would probably happen a whole lot faster if I could move out of my home city.

Re: Young and single!

ParticleMan — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 09:47:41 -0800

Ya know, Lady, I thought the same thing. I left my home town and all the girls I find myself interested in are taken. Haven't met any lesbians I had a thing for, though, so I guess I should be thankful for that much.

Re: Young and single!

breathofawen — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 19:22:12 -0800

Do I count as young? I'm 27 hahaha. I've been single for about four years now. I think I'll probably be single forever-- most people are jerks, and I'm not interested in the whole farce of dating and attachment and-- ugh. The drama. The only thing I regret is that I probably won't ever get the chance to be a mom, and I think I'd actually be pretty good at it, squicky feelings about pregnancy and diapers and vomit and the whole lot aside.

Re: Young and single!

Taiko Khan — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 16:53:27 -0800

The only thing that seems to be a plus about being single (been single since August '07), is it allows time to write uninterrupted. That, and I seem to have more money than I would otherwise. (I think I'd happily trade the money for the 'right woman'. Writing? Probably not. I'd compromise though.) This is a depressing thread though.

Re: Young and single!

involuble — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 18:20:58 -0800

Funny; I'm not depressed at all about the fact that I'm single (and always have been) at the age of 28. I have no interest in motherhood, and I have yet to find anyone worth my trouble. I cared a little more when I was younger. Mostly because I believed everyone around me when they tried to tell me what I should want. Maybe someday. Until then, meh. ;)

Re: Young and single!

MissMaro — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 18:27:40 -0800

I've been single for five years, and I'm really sick of it. But I'd rather being single than be in a bad relationship with any of the nice guys I know who I'm just not compatible with, so, I guess I'll just have to wait. It does get really old though...

Re: Young and single!

Itzika — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 21:44:16 -0800

I'm single. Not by choice, though it's convenient at the moment since I'm going back to college several states away at the end of the month. My last boyfriend and I broke up a couple months ago--we barely lasted two months. It was pretty mutual: he wanted something sexual, I didn't; I wanted something long-term, he didn't. So we broke up. It got close to getting ugly, but it stayed pretty tame. I don't think he knows he almost got chewed out. Long-term, I don't plan on staying single. I plan on finding someone to marry. Man or woman--I expect DOMA will have been repealed by the time I get to that stage. I want to be a stay-at-home mom and a writer. Possibly do something in the church. Have a daughter named Isabelle (screw Twilight and Mortal Instruments, that name is beautiful and my daughter is going to reclaim it for strong women) and no more than three kids total. Yeah, I've, ah, planned out my life pretty thoroughly; I'm just missing the person I'm going to live it with. ^^;

Re: Young and single!

Angryman — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 00:42:23 -0800

Okay, I might as well face it: I'm single. I'm a bit depressed because of it, but not directly because of it. I want to be in a relationship, but that means I have to be able to be where people are and interact. It's hard for me to do that, since I don't have a car, my driver's license, and no job to pay for gas. I'm stuck at home, living with my parents, and taking care of Grandma and all of my mother's critters. I swear, if I didn't get high speed internet back in June and started a Facebook account, I'd probably be locked away in an asylum somewhere.

Re: Young and single!

KickingKelly — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 17:13:05 -0800

The rule of being in demand is currently taking over in my life. I am still single but if one party becomes interested, so do many others. I have resolved (this being the last two weeks of being in my twenties) to be young and have fun. So far, so good. And get this, all together it isn't as hopeless. On the other hand I have the first pages of several novels that will never be. Writing has given me a serious case of adult onset a.d.h.d. when combined with lengthy days at work. I believe at this point my degree in journalism would best fit me as an editor.

Re: Young and single!

Chai Maya — Sun, 20 May 2012 23:49:57 -0700

My first and last boyfriend introduced me to NaNoWriMo when I was fifteen and he was sixteen. We were best friends, and I broke up with him right before NaNo began in 2010 (seriously, maybe a few weeks before?), but we managed to stay friends for another few months. We may have had our serious differences, and I never was in love with him, but I'll always love him for urging me to try out NaNoWriMo. It has changed my life. I haven't gone out with anyone else since him, mostly because I'm so picky, because I'm rarely attracted to anyone. I do get a bit lonely, but writing, music, and hobbies definitely outrank dating in my priority list, so I'm all right. :D on the whole, single life treats me pretty well! :)

Re: Young and single!

Nicole Jefferson — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 22:10:07 -0700

Hey, we may be single, but at least we aren't alone! I broke up with my ex last November. It wasn't pretty. I ended up with debilitating writer's block for months because everything I wrote went back to him, and was therefore awful. Thus, I kinda failed NaNoWriMo last year. This year, I have more time on my hands, no distracting jerk wad who has no appreciation for my passions, and shall be celebrating my own personal independence day the Sunday before Thanksgiving! (And all the while may or may not be crushing on this other guy... lol :P )

Re: Young and single!

DanielJPorter — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 00:18:53 -0700

Recent breakup, so I'm single--- part of the reason I think Nanowrimo sounded like such an awesome idea :D

Re: Young and single!

Auryn — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 06:35:12 -0700

Wow...this group is amazing! I'm 25 and the last boyfriend I had was almost 5 years ago. It was really hard because we had been best friends for 6 years and dated for 2 - it was not a pleasant break up. It was great until he started talking about marriage, but at the same time expected me to help him with his school work, drive him everywhere, and then I found out when he would randomly buy me something (usually expensive - that I would tell him repeatedly I didn't want; I'm not a material type girl) and suddenly have to go back home it was to get drunk and high with his buddies and other girls I didn't know about. I haven't had a very good track record before him - a lot of abusive relationships. As much as I would *love* to be in a relationship, and I know you can't judge the whole because of a part...I just kind of closed myself off. NaNoWriMo definitely helps keep away the loneliness this time of year. It's awesome it is in November, because that's when I finally stood my ground and broke it off those few years ago.

Re: Young and single!

Marius_Ryo — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 14:18:25 -0700

I had my first kiss when I was eighteen years old. O.o The guy was hot, but he wasn't my type. He was just so........well, he was just one of those beautiful dumb types. I want a nerdy boyfriend, it's great to be able to talk to someone who has an actual brain and isn't constantly asking you to have sex! >.< On the other hand, I get to do whatever the heck I want. Don't have to worry about plans for the weekend, having enough money to go out, etc. I'm also looking for a job as well and attending school full time. but I have to say, I'm loving the single life. I'll fall in love eventually. ^_^

Re: Young and single!

pinaywriter — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 16:26:16 -0700

Broke up with my boyfriend because he was saying that I paid more attention to my writing than him. *and a whole bunch of other reasons* and the funny thing was the 31+ novels I had to edit for my writing group was backlogged because I was so busy trying to that that emo. T_T Oh well. Time to use that in my writing. (exes are fun that way) I plan to use all my pent up angst over his childishness and immortalize it in my first finished Nano novel. I just hope I can finish it before I loose steam.

Re: Young and single!

lordofthedogs — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 22:41:32 -0700

Being single is nice. All the beer I buy I get to drink myself.

Re: Young and single!

RubyJubilee — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 03:32:55 -0800

23 and quite content with singledom! I find the fact that a lot of my school friends are married with children a little horrific really. I spend a few months in one place working, then once I've saved enough, I go off to Europe to work for very little money and see a bit of the world. It's not sensible to be in a relationship, because I know what I want to do with the next few years of my life, and a serious relationship doesn't fit in to that anywhere. I'm a lone wolf, a solitary eagle, a cuddly baby tapir.

Re: Young and single!

JasmineAdero — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 09:05:38 -0800

I haven't been able to break it off with anyone for a while...i am pretty much a near spinster and i'm 21. I do get lonely every so often and then i think that sometimes it would be better alone. Sometimes i think about what it would mean to be in a strictly sexual relationship or something to that effect. i have up and down moment all the time it seems like.

Re: Young and single!

Masked Maiden — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 21:14:49 -0700

You're not the only 27-year-old who's never been on a date. We are a very rare breed, but hey, we do exist!

Re: Young and single!

Ellen G — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 16:23:00 -0700

I'm in a similar boat! My fiance, who I'd been dating long-distance since high school (around 7 years on-and-off, prolly more like 5 actually together) called off our wedding last year. A month before it... Right around October. We're also still friends, but... damn, dating sucks :| I've been out with a few guys in the last year, and of the like... I dunno, maybe dozen I've been on first dates with? I only liked one. And he said he was sorry but he wasn't over his ex yet/ready to date. >.< who invented this system of finding signficant others? I dislike it...

Re: Young and single!

Amy Cookie — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 22:34:38 -0700

Could be worse. I'm 26 single, never been on a date and never been in a relationship. At least you have relationship experience. I'm not good with that stuff and I'm not anywhere near confident with approaching it. I'm happy alone though. :)

Re: Young and single!

pinaywriter — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 16:27:17 -0700

It's pretty scary when you think about it. But I still believe that Cowards don't have a right to love. Surely you are braver than that!~

Re: Young and single!

RubyJubilee — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 03:34:59 -0800

I'm 23 and only ever been on one date and it was horrible. Dates are the worst way to get to know a person. Completely unnatural. Well, that's my opinion on them anyway! How do you get to know someone going to the cinema together? Don't worry too much. Everyone has their own 'dating rules' it seems, so there's not a lot to worry about.

Re: Young and single!

oazan — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 16:24:33 -0700

And you have your awesome friends to make everything better (temporarily) and shower you with fun FUN plans! YAY!

Re: Young and single!

LHSflute — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 16:28:57 -0700

This is true. :D I do have fantastic friends.

Re: Young and single!

Fodwocket — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 07:48:36 -0700

I'm with you Tsukasa, am single and I love that I'm in control of my own life and my own mistakes - with no need to worry about anyone else. Is very liberating after being in a relationship for five years. And no disparagement to the relationship: it ended sadly but with no drama and we're still friends. Still, I can't deny I'm much happier this way. Like you, I lost a lot of myself when I was with my partner. It was mostly my doing, something I'll never understand but I suppose can be put down to 'being love's bitch,' while lacking the good sense to hold onto who I was. Stopped all my creative pursuits for years, and while I was getting back into them for the last few years of our relationship, slowly figuring myself out, since we broke up last December everything has fallen into place so easily. Life is awesome. As you said, we have it made ^_^ And I'm not averse to getting into another relationship - I'm just enjoying being single while I can, and don't see the hurry in finding someone. These things can't be forced, and if you're not happy alone, you haven't realised your own worth. And that is a real shame.

Re: Young and single!

BrBckRider — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 06:21:02 -0700

Absolutely! I'm single and free! I'm 29 and have never been in a "relationship." I don't think I'd do well in one. I need my solitude or I go stir-crazy. I like living my own life by my own rules. (Rule #47 - breakfast is a state of mind so cereal at 9:30 pm is perfectly acceptable). I possibly have a new job that's 2,000 miles away and I'm looking forward to accepting it and skipping town not having to worry about breaking anyone's heart. :) I always wanted to be a rootless gypsy.

Re: Young and single!

piemage — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 13:46:19 -0700

I have this same problem! I never understand why people dither over what to do with relationship problems when breaking up is clearly the simplest solution. Maybe I just don't get attached enough. I really like the idea of a relationship but I can't seem to manage the reality. I'm too much of a solitary person, I guess.

Re: Young and single!

BrBckRider — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 06:22:56 -0700

[quote]I'm just kind of a sociopath when it comes to relationships[/quote] Yes. This is me. I am perfectly happy on my own, so why put up with crap just for the sake of having a relationship?

Re: Young and single!

MeganDurham — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 12:58:02 -0700

I'm with both of you! I find that when I'm in a relationship it's hard to find time to do what I love to do, writing! Being single leaves me with the free time to actually do things like NaNoWriMo and not worry about abandoning someone else. There's a benefit to having the freedom to do what you want to do, whenever you want to. Plus, if you can't be happy with yourself can you really be happy with someone else?

Re: Young and single!

Argentum — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 13:35:40 -0700

Ha this is me too. I'm the rationalizing optimist though, so I'm reasonably confident it's the men I've tried who are boring:) I have great hopes for meeting someone NOT boring someday!

Re: Young and single!

TeeVee — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 05:32:55 -0700

I know the feeling. I'm also 21, but I've YET to start dating. My last boyfriend was when I was 15 and that was a trainwreck. All of my friends are either married, engaged or have babies. Don't worry about it too much though, don't rush into something because it's what everyone else is doing ;)

Re: Young and single!

Sidoniehelena — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 09:53:19 -0800

[quote=benarol] I'm here. Haven't met anyone who suits me in quite a while... there's a lot I like about being single (even in relationships I like a lot of space) but I'm getting tired of it. I know I'm a difficult match, so when I do find the right person, I've got to make it stick. [/quote] ditto times a million, why am I such a solitary person...

Re: Young and single!

i am the moon — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 20:30:47 -0700

Here's a secret, then: I'm pretty sure it's them, too. >.> I tend to require high levels of mental stimulation in everything I do, and I will find many tasks very boring very quickly if they don't involve variety and/or some measure of risk. I feel like most people are so eager to give their hearts away to others, and I've never encountered a challenge with the people I've been with. They've just given everything up (not just bodily, but emotionally) to me so quickly. I tend to be fairly reticent myself and would prefer that in a partner (in addition to some sort of challenge/chase, or at least a game!). The characters I write always seem much more compelling/dangerous/alluring/intelligent/stimulating than the people I meet in real life. And the people I meet who DO fit my criteria are inevitably people like professors, who are absolutely off-limits. Alas.

Re: Young and single!

WiresInABox — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 16:01:28 -0700

*because of NaNo, not of course of course! I'm too tired to try to write something understandable tonight!

Re: Young and single!

MeganDurham — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 08:57:45 -0700

That's a really healthy mindset. I feel like a lot of my friends are in relationships just because they want to be in a relationship and end up trapped in something they really don't want.

Re: Young and single!

Nicole Jefferson — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 15:35:46 -0700

I'm totally with you there! I've been here for about two months now: I came hoping to find Mr. Right, and now I just get excited when I find somebody who wants to be my friend! Gotta love perspective.

Re: Young and single!

Argentum — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 00:24:06 -0700

I hear you. When guys ask what I look for in men, I tell them superpowers :)

Re: Young and single!

i am the moon — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 10:03:35 -0700

I kind of love that response. Mind if I steal it?

Re: Young and single!

BrBckRider — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 06:24:33 -0700

Ha! I look for someone who's an accomplished dragon wrangler and fellow Slytherin. Can't imagine why I don't have much luck.

Re: Young and single!

Zouave — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 08:28:17 -0700

What do you do when the guy has them?

Re: Young and single!

SkillfulCreations — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 11:23:26 -0700

I know what you mean. I don't really care about not having a bf, but it kills me that I don't have any friends. I just started going back to school and everyone is either just out of high school or going back after 10+ years... makes me feel a bit out of place but then again my main goal for being there is to study. It's funny that you mention hiking, because I always end up going alone since no one ever wants to go with me. It has become that thing I do to relieve stress and clear my head. Now I think it might actually be weird to go with someone else.

Re: Young and single!

Argentum — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 10:43:14 -0700

Not at all!

Re: Young and single!

Veela-Valoom — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 11:35:00 -0700

I'm not comfortable enough hiking alone yet. I went on vacation in West Virginia and hiked by myself but never very long hikes. I'm very petite and have mild asthma and everybody around me is always giving me safety talks about not hiking alone. My mother even bought me pepperspray for my solo vacation. *shakes head* I should have gone hiking today. My dad is my usual hiking friend but he's got an awful sinus infection so I'm missing out on beautiful weather (and outline my Nano instead)

Re: Young and single!

MeganDurham — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 08:59:18 -0700

If you're ever up in the Northwest I would be glad to go hiking! Have you tried Meetup at all? It's where I look for people to go backpacking with and I've had pretty good luck.

Re: Young and single!

hootowl — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 13:31:03 -0700

Me too! Well, not a real date at any rate. I've had coffee/drinks/what-have-you with other people but mostly they needed someone to vent to... made for some interesting one-sided conversations and then a "take care, I'll never see you again" on my part.

Re: Young and single!

Morel — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 09:17:16 -0700

Ahh, I feel better. I'm only 25, but have never been on a date. At least I'm not totally alone :-)

Re: Young and single!

WileJ — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 13:02:04 -0700

Yeah, that's me. I'm the girl guys like to be friends with better never want to go on a date with... Though it's great novel fodder.

Re: Young and single!

Kandiman — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:38:30 -0700

[quote=Masked Maiden] You're not the only 27-year-old who's never been on a date. We are a very rare breed, but hey, we do exist! [/quote] I'll see that and raise you. I'm (almost) 27. I have two children, I've been engaged three times. Not once have I been on a real date.

Re: Young and single!

Fodwocket — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 23:19:12 -0700

Well I'm glad you got out of both of those relationships, good for you! Two of my friends both went through a lot of crazy relationships before they met each other (and are now married), but it only makes them appreciate each other all the more now. So you have that to look forward to, and as you said, single life to enjoy in the meantime ^_^

Re: Young and single!

kitandkat — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 10:34:21 -0700

I think I almost dated your second ex... luckily, things started to go downhill before we got more involved. He sounds exactly like him. And yeah, I thought it was romantic at first.

Re: Young and single!

Deidrea — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 11:12:53 -0700

There are some good men out there. The problem is that they never seem to show up when women are looking for them. :P I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm having a hard time finding work as well. It makes life feel sort of empty when you're in your 20's, with no job, no relationship, and a lack of direction. I've been single for awhile now, and in all honesty, I don't really want to date anymore. Too much anxiety and drama. I'm just waiting for God to bring me the husband He's picked out for me. I don't know how that's going to work-- and my mind paces at the thought-- but I know it'll all work out. I just don't have the strength to get attached again and put in all that effort for it not to go anywhere permanent. But I have to say, it's really bloody hard for a hopeless romantic not to go out in search for romance! I think everyone in this thread should pick up a copy of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. Best book on dating EVER. And then if anyone wants to give me tips on how to enjoy my singleness to the fullest... I could use it!

Re: Young and single!

Veela-Valoom — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 19:07:44 -0700

I believe there are good men. I just don't believe they live in Eastern Kentucky. Or if they do they're old or married or both. But mostly they are outnumbered by the rednecks. Winter makes you want relationships because cold weather is perfect for cuddling. Or maybe that's just me.

Re: Young and single!

Scribamour — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 13:14:49 -0700

I understand how you feel! I really like that attitude. I feel like I haven't done that great of job choosing my own relationships in the past - I either felt like I was smothered, stifled or I had settled. Some of it was choosing the wrong guy, some of it was not knowing what I wanted or compromising it. After my last breakup a few months ago, I decided I'm not going to do that any more. Next time I get into a relationship, it'll be someone who is worth it and who I can see a future with. So needless to say, I'm currently single and generally pretty content with it, though I do want to be married and have a family at some point. At least it gives me some much needed self-discovery time to get involved andmeet my own personal goals, not the least of which is Nano. :)

Re: Young and single!

DanHinge — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 01:50:27 -0700

Cold weather is perfect for cuddling :) You could try striking out in search of new men. I'm not sure I'd recommend the UK... maybe try Italy. Or France - Paris! Perfect. Or Alaska - it's cold the whole time, they must do SO much cuddling up there.

Re: Young and single!

Ally-Kat722 — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 12:11:09 -0700

A similar problem in Texas. At least for a liberal minded girl like myself.

Re: Young and single!

BrBckRider — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 06:48:49 -0700

I know the feeling of never having been in love. I've been in lust many many times, but I know that it's not the same thing. I don't know what love is, but I have this idea that love is when you're not willing to walk away. And I'm always willing to walk away.

Re: Young and single!

Magpie Ilya — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 22:16:44 -0700

Sounds sort of familiar - it struck me this year, I'm the age my mother was when she had me... and I've never had a boyfriend. Never been in love. Heck, never even had a crush on anyone.

Re: Young and single!

ishnite — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 12:50:58 -0700

Oddly enough, I too broke up with my ex last November. Largely in part thanks to NaNoWriMo because I couldn't for the life of write a novel but I could write about what was going on in my own life at the time. So that's what i did. I wrote down all the feelings I was experiencing in guise of a story without limiting myself (I had to meet the word count quota after all). Forcing myself to write was the best thing I've ever done and I was able to FINALLY end a really bad relationship, and in the process completely change my life around too. New friends, new friends, new house, new love interest....new HEALTHY amazing relationship. With that being said, I am no longer single but I thought I'd share my experience. :D

Re: Young and single!

LAAVulpes — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 16:17:48 -0800

I'm newly 20. But perpetually single. My first - and only - real boyfriend happened when I was 17. After that ended, no more boyfriends (that lasted longer than 5 days). I do, however, look more 15 than 20 ... and that gets creepy when you have advances from the 30+ crowd. I live in a small, small town so my singleness is really a lack of options. Most of the time I'm okay with being alone. I absolutely hate the feeling of obligation I have when I tie myself to one person. The only problem I have with it now is the endless loneliness. I feel like I'm drowning in my head a lot and it really sucks because there's no one to pull me out.

Re: Young and single!

Ally-Kat722 — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 14:50:28 -0700

That sucks so very much, doesn't it? I've fallen for two straight girls and it's... just one of the most frustrating things ever. /sigh

Re: Young and single!

Veela-Valoom — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 18:07:35 -0700

The problem is I have to be a grown-up and pay off student loans. I love traveling. Spent 3 months in Switzerland right after college and it was the best experience of my life (I was volunteering with Girl Scouts. I don't have the kind of money to galavant in Switzerland for that long on my own) I'd love to spend time in Alaska someday. Though grizzlies are much scarier than black bears.

Re: Young and single!

DanHinge — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 08:56:40 -0700

You mean the grizzlies in Texas are too conservative for you? :P I love travelling too, and I too have a student loan. Don't know how it works in the States but here I don't have to pay it off until I'm earning something like £15,000 a year. So if I become I writer I'll probably never have to pay it off! Hmm...

Re: Young and single!

Westwoods — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 00:39:57 -0700

Opposite problem in Washington. I don't think I met anyone in college who was not extremely liberal, to the point that I felt uncomfortable speaking my opinion about anything that was at all related to politics. They don't seem to know what a happy medium is, but then, no one seems to when it comes to politics. Maybe Ally-Kat and I should switch places. I'm sort of fond of the rain and general green color here though. Not sure if I could give that up.

Re: Young and single!

Fodwocket — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 17:35:13 -0700

I know what you mean, I'm the sort of person who writes quite slowly and ponderously (and I have to edit, at least a little bit, I've just learned to set a limit) so I need a lot of time to attempt NaNo. Can't wait for Nov cause I'll have it all to myself ^_^ Hopefully this year I'll actually take advantage of the time I have. And exactly!

Re: Young and single!

Haruka_Otaku — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 02:50:27 -0700

This is almost my situation and I don't really mind... I don't need a boyfriend, since I have my parents and my brother. And when it isn't enough, I write. This way I wrote my first novel! Cheers! P.S.: Sorry, but it's been years since I spoke english last time, so I hope you'll forgive all my mistakes (and tell me what they are). Thanks!

Re: Young and single!

Screnwriter — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 17:25:34 -0800

Yeah, "don't date just because everyone else is doing it/just because you're lonely" is a piece of dating advice I've gotten before, and agree with. It is hard though — I think I really do want a bit of the white picket fence dream (maybe sans the 2.5 kids). I don't crush on people often, and I spent several years holding out for someone I would like who ALSO liked me. This girl was the first. I fell for her very, very hard. I'd have stayed with her at least a little longer, given the choice, but we ARE drastically different people, so maybe it's that whole "it's for the best" cliche. I'm slowly accepting the fact that waiting to find another person with whom I have mutual attraction/connection before I date again probably means I'll be alone for a while. It was definitely worth it the first time, and I know that — it just sucks in the interim. At least I can try to give the love interests in my NOVEL a happy ending.

Re: Young and single!

Veela-Valoom — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 12:47:47 -0700

Yeah my best friend when I was in Switzerland was from England and she told me about that. Pretty jealous. In the United States we have to pay it off no matter what. You're given a grace period of 6 months then the bills start to come. You can defer if you're not working BUT it continues to collect interest. There are a lot of people who are upside down on student loans. Me I'm doing well paying them off. But that's because I live in my parents garage & pretend that I'm broke.

Re: Young and single!

hootowl — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 14:43:11 -0700

My mother hasn't started referring to me as an old maid, but she's gotten close with "when are you going to find a nice guy?" and "a guy won't land at your feet" or "are you even nice to the boys?" and my favorite "I want grandchildren while I can enjoy them." The answer to that last statement, "I have two sisters, both of them are married, talk to them about that." I also hate that twinge of fear in the back of my mind that tells me I'll be alone forever even as I tell myself I'm not that old.

Re: Young and single!

Lonicera — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 21:02:16 -0700

My grandma made a passing reference to me being a "wedding cake" (Japanese thing, bakeries make elaborate wedding cakes for display and then have to discount them deeply in order to sell them before they go stale. Hence over 25 unmarried women = wedding cakes) I don't really have a problem with the singleness besides that annoying twinge you mentioned. My main problem is that every long-term past relationship started as a years long friendship. So...flirting skills = 2 out of 10. For some stupid reason the guys I think are cute I can't talk to and the guys I can talk to I'm not attracted to. Sigh. At this point every time I mention a male name of a person I've talked to, my mom says "is he single?" Hootowl [cliche advice alert] you can meet people anywhere as long as you keep your eyes open, a smile on your face, and are willing to strike up a conversation. I've had some very nice conversations in bookstores, lunch lines, markets, and nano write meetups, and a friend of mine got married to a man she met when she got off on the wrong bus stop. If worse comes to worse, next time your mom asks about the grandchildren you can counter with a request to know if any of her friends has single sons. Mom's love match-ups. (Though you really need to be clear about your likes/dislikes. Sometimes mom's have a different view of "this one is perfect" than you have. Speaks the voice of experience. Hoo boy.)

Re: Young and single!

timeladyinatardis — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 19:40:54 -0700

I'm 21 and in the same situation as you. I'm more of the loner type really and that's probably why I've never been asked out. But I'm okay with that. I enjoy being single. I don't have to worry about anyone else. And I'd rather spend my time with my family anyway.

Re: Young and single!

BrBckRider — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 07:03:09 -0700

I was 24 before someone asked me out and I was so surprised by it that I just stared at them like "What? What do you mean 'go out with you'? What's outside?" Even after that, it's rare for a guy to actually ask me out. I guess I unconsciously give off "leave me alone" vibes. (I've tried making these vibes directed to only creepy guys, but it doesn't work).

Re: Young and single!

gargoyle575 — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 11:03:35 -0700

My mother asks for granddaughters (only granddaughters, not grandsons), and when I point out to her that neither of her daughters are married or in relationships, she says she doesn't mind. But in the same breath, it's "Is he single?" for any guy I meet. Apparently, to her, being too picky means I've rejected a date because I can plainly see that we have very little in common. And I have absolutely no idea how to flirt. To me, it means acting silly, and giggling a lot. Maybe some hair tossing. And not saying what you actually mean, which annoys me to no end because how am I supposed to know if he's interested if he doesn't come out and say it?

Re: Young and single!

hootowl — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 08:49:20 -0700

i'm introverted as well. after college i needed work (desperately) so i ended up working morning shift at a starbucks in a mall. for the first 6-8 months, i got home from work and slept for 3 hours. it gets better with practice! by the time i had to leave the coffee shop, i only needed a 45 minute respite right after getting home. of course, some days were more exhausting than others so times for recharge varied.

Re: Young and single!

gargoyle575 — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 11:07:04 -0700

Also an introvert--I don't know what I'd do if I went from work (where I'm on the phone and talking to people constantly) to an SO for the rest of the night. Which is probably why I've avoided relationships the last couple of years. I can't imagine how my friends manage, living in one-bedrooms with their SO. I can't even handle roommates!

Re: Young and single!

Veela-Valoom — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 07:34:50 -0700

I consider myself a "moderate" which means I always end up annoyed with BOTH sides of the political spectrum. I firmly believe in compromise and the parties finding a way to get along. I see both parties bash each other (my facebook friends are conservative, twitter peeps more liberal) and it makes me so uncomfortable because they never see where the other side could have a valid point or where there may be middle ground.

Re: Young and single!

Ally-Kat722 — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 14:32:20 -0700

I consider myself to be "very" liberal, but not extremist. There are some things I support that I've found are actually typically conservative things, but my vote is pretty solidly Democratic across the board. Still, I'm all for talking about politics without getting into shouting matches. It's just hard to find some reasonable conservatives around here who are willing to speak up. The loudest are almost always the most idiotic. And I'm sorry, Westwoods, that you've felt uncomfortable speaking your own opinion. I've had that situation myself, and it really isn't a happy one at all. Leaves a very sour feeling all around. Personally, you can keep your rain, but this state could really use it. I STILL see spots that are burned from fires when driving across the state.

Re: Young and single!

SparkleKate — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 17:44:54 -0700

And here I thought I was the only one. My grandmother became Yente the matchmaker when I turned 16, but lately it's been getting more into the "i want great-grandbabies) phase and claims she doesn't care how that comes about. And believe me, my singleness is not for lack of trying or wanting-more from a lack of men. I'm still holding out for Josh Groban.

Re: Young and single!

Veela-Valoom — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 07:32:15 -0700

You people make me grateful for my parents. Other relatives (like aunts, uncles) might mention my singleness but my parents just ignore it. When I had a boyfriend they didn't pressure me and they don't pressure me now that I'm single. They've told me their not ready to be grandparents and I'm always like "GOOD we're in agreement."

Re: Young and single!

WritingBandit — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 16:15:07 -0700

Can we start an introverted thread, because adding me to the mix makes four. Everyone always told me I just need to break out of my shell, but being introverted is just someone I am. It's very draining to deal with people all day, it should be obvious why I don't want to bother with people at night. Unfortunately, that's part of why I haven't been in a relationship since I was 14. It's very hard for me to talk to guys without sounding like an awkward nut.

Re: Young and single!

BrBckRider — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 07:06:13 -0700

Yes! Introverts unite! (but not tonight, I'm tired). I'm lucky enough to have friends that don't take it personally when I leave early from a party saying "I have to leave. I don't want to be around people right now."

Re: Young and single!

BrBckRider — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 06:59:48 -0700

My parents never brought up the whole "when are you going to settle down" talk, but aunts and uncles used to. That was years ago. I think they've given up on me (perhaps they think I'm a closet lesbian and don't want to ask). So now, no one asks when I'm going to find a man (or a woman) or when I'm going to get married and have kids (though my brother occasionally admonishes me that he expects his kids [he has no kids, btw] to have cousins to which I reply he should take that up with his future wife's [again no wife either] family.) heh, family is fun.

Re: Young and single!

explosioned — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 18:39:45 -0700

Ahhh I feel a little better :) I'm (almost) 21, never been on a date, never had a significant other ... never had a first kiss! :X Sometimes I feel a little lonely ... good to know I'm not the only one ;)

Re: Young and single!

lisard — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 14:55:18 -0700

Me as well! I feel a bit better reading this. :)

Re: Young and single!

sofimac16 — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 20:43:24 -0700

Hmmm this sounds familiar *goes and runs to look in a mirror* are you sure you're not me? ;)

Re: Young and single!

corporal34 — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 15:47:35 -0700

SAme here !

Re: Young and single!

SamanthaLouise37 — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 20:46:52 -0700

Evaluates self. Almost 21 . . . check. Never had a significant other . . . check Never had a first kiss . . . check So, yeah. You're not alone. We're not alone!!!! *tears of happiness/relief.*

Re: Young and single!

dancingluver2010 — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 13:23:39 -0700

Same here. Almost 21, never been on a date, never had a significant other, and never had a first kiss. I feel a little lonely the majority of the time...but it's good to know that I'm not the only one.

Re: Young and single!

Knight of Disorder — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 12:27:42 -0700

Nerd it up, watch a Star Wars marathon, followed by every single Doctor Who movie. That's how we celebrate, well everything.

Re: Young and single!

Frozen Sky — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 13:43:59 -0700

You're not too weird to be with someone, you just haven't found someone weird enough to suit you yet haha. Looking at this thread in general there's a lot of really cool people here that are single. Maybe we're all just not looking in the right circles.

Re: Young and single!

Hobbit Missa — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 18:48:55 -0700

Ooooh yeah! Nerding it up makes everything better!

Re: Young and single!

sillybadger — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 14:46:35 -0700

Ha! I'd never thought of it like that, thanks, I'll have to remember to say that when friends start on me again!

Re: Young and single!

Magpie Ilya — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 14:52:41 -0700

Heh. I had my first date in years yesterday, and afterwards was like, "meh. He's too ordinary." I'm proud of my weirdness. :)

Re: Young and single!

Hobbit Missa — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 18:59:21 -0700

Hey, I didn't have my first kiss til earlier this year and I'm 23. Don't worry. Better to wait until you're really ready to take a risk on the right person than waste time and emotions on the wrong one.

Re: Young and single!

Rosethorn225 — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 19:06:38 -0700

Dude, relax and chill. As Hobbit says - it's far better to have no relationships than a bunch of lousy ones. Relax, enjoy being single. You don't have anyone to answer to - and you don't have to spend your moneys on dates and expensive shiny things. :P Don't give up. Just relax and go with it.

Re: Young and single!

Eunoia — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 12:05:34 -0700

Don't give up! You're twenty, you're young, I'm sure it'll come in time. Try and feel better about yourself because I'm sure there's a girl out there who would love to be with you. Just get on with your life and I'm sure an interested girl will come along eventually. :)

Re: Young and single!

trinagirl98 — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 12:58:51 -0700

LOL! I was just thinking, too bad there isn't a Nano dating site...

Re: Young and single!

Fodwocket — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 22:50:23 -0700

Me too! Have you ever heard that old 90's song The Way by Fastball? It's about just hitting the road and never looking back. I used to listen to it so much my ex actually asked me if I was planning on running off one day. And oh how I'd love to.

Re: Young and single!

Magpie Ilya — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 13:44:47 -0700

[quote=BrBckRider] Yes! Introverts unite! (but not tonight, I'm tired). [/quote] That line made me laugh so much! Probably because I'm pretty damn tired as well, and now that I'm past the "grumpy" stage, I've come to the "giggly" stage.

Re: Young and single!

Eunoia — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 12:02:58 -0700

I think it's rational. I mean, we shouldn't wait around for that other person and put the other aspects of our lives on hold just because we haven't found someone yet. Also, I've been proved that the whole 'stop looking and you'll find it' saying is sometimes true so better to be doing something worthwhile and letting the SO search take a backseat, rather than constantly on the look out for him/her.

Re: Young and single!

Rosethorn225 — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 07:13:52 -0700

Sounds rational to me. Pretty much all of my relationships have ended because I wanted to pursue my dreams, and they all said "BUT WHAT ABOUT MEEE??" It's rather annoying, really. If you love your career, and I mean really love it, you'll be happy with or without a man (or woman). And eventually, if it's meant to happen, someone will fall into your life who has as much passion and dedication to their career as you do to yours.

Re: Young and single!

Almira Torralba — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 21:09:55 -0700

Yeah. I suppose it is better in a way to "let these things happen when they will." If only I'd remember that on the days that I realize that my little bro (who's a university freshman) will be more likely to get hitched before I will :))

Re: Young and single!

hootowl — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 18:50:43 -0700

nope! the question usually is responded to with some kind of snarky comment.

Re: Young and single!

BrBckRider — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 06:29:58 -0700

I always reply with something along the lines of "I'll tell you when the statute of limitations runs out" or "*shifty eyes* ... no reason." It's a perfect opportunity to mess with people! <-- fyi, this sentence has NOTHING to do with why I'm single. *shifty eyes*

Re: Young and single!

Rosethorn225 — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 07:16:47 -0700

"So why are you single?" "Because I like bacon." "...What?" "Exactly."

Re: Young and single!

WileJ — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 13:07:20 -0700

I usually just ask 'Why aren't you single?' Try it. You either get the really gushy response or the death stare.

Re: Young and single!

Frozen Sky — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 00:09:00 -0700

"So why're you still single?" "Because your FACE."

Re: Young and single!

smithk654 — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 12:52:06 -0700

Yep. Here too! It's really glad knowing I'm not the only one lurking around. :D

Re: Young and single!

Michael S. Repton — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 13:23:45 -0700

You're not the odd one out at all. I hate it too. We may be in the minority, but we can still speak out for ourselves :)

Re: Young and single!

Amberlynn — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 19:30:32 -0700

omg, I am SO using that answer.

Re: Young and single!

Mylantha — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 16:45:12 -0700

Dogs are so much better than boyfriends! For one they're actually loyal, they love you no matter what, they are obedient (big plus in my book), they are always happy to see you, they listen to every word you say (at least mine do =P) and they're cuddly.

Re: Young and single!

hootowl — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 15:00:26 -0700

i'm in the waiting stage right now as well. i'm in evening school and trying to find work again and the place i live is predominately people raising families or people my parents age. of the people my age, i know about 15. half of them are married, and then there's only one single male. the rest are female. the odds aren't in my favor.

Re: Young and single!

Enjorous — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 14:51:06 -0700

You guys just became my favorite people in the world :D

Re: Young and single!

BrBckRider — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 07:24:40 -0700

I love that song!

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Fodwocket — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 19:26:40 -0700

Awesome. Nice to finally find someone else who does!

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MissGlitterWings — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 19:54:27 -0700

lol I know wouldn't that be great? haha

Re: Young and single!

Yoon- — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 09:18:08 -0700

I'm sorry that those things happened to you, but I really hope that one day you'll wake up and realize that those things that happened to you doesn't happen in every relationship and that not all women are like that :) I guess that you don't see your children anymore? I know that this is none of my business, but you have rights. Fight for it.

Re: Young and single!

Maneden — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 12:49:50 -0700

Not to mention that they never complain what you look like first thing in the morning!! And don't get jealous :D *runs to give the pups another hug*

Re: Young and single!

Kandiman — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 04:36:27 -0700

The trick isn't finding time to add a man to your life, the trick is to find a man who fits the life you have. One day, when you lest expect it, that person will find you. Or, at least, that's what my friends keep insisting. They may or may not be right!

Re: Young and single!

Xue Hua — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 06:55:38 -0700

Very good point! I once had a boyfriend in high school for 10 days, that ended when he realised that I wasn't willing to go out every night and text him every five minutes. I'm not adverse to having a man in my life, but I need one that understands I need a lot of space for work and my hobbies! He can happily fit in around them, and share my hobbies if he wishes! I just need to find this mystery man! Your friends are very optimistic and I like that! The right person will be there eventually if it was meant to be!

Re: Young and single!

DaxBenny — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 06:45:25 -0700

Thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only one who has to deal with this (sorry, misery loves company). It seems wholly impossible to find a woman who has some sort of ambition. And the license, how do you not get one? You literally just go take a short test and a drive one day!

Re: Young and single!

Hobbit Missa — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 14:26:48 -0700

yes. I totally wish I could pull a more successful version of Dr Frankensteins experiment and make the perfect man. I already have him in my head, why can't he actually exist!? lol

Re: Young and single!

Kandiman — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 06:59:03 -0700

He'll never be as much of a mystery as you think he is, he may already be there. Seeing wood for trees and all that. I actually know many people who share almost all of the interests listed on your profile. So there must be many more out there. Unless I'm surrounded by an unusually high concentration of Ice-Skating anime fans...

Re: Young and single!

Xue Hua — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 13:07:21 -0700

Unfortunately I don't know that many people, I'm far too introverted! I think I've lived too sheltered of a life and its very hard to break the habit now. I must admit I've never met another person who likes both ice skating and anime, but I haven't asked each group of friends if they like the other thing, so I could be missing a trick there!

Re: Young and single!

alittlesas — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 10:07:38 -0700

I think that when it's right, that wonderful christian man will come into your life. I'm christian too and also looking for that man who meets my higher standards. Friends have told me that maybe if I lowered them, I'd get more dates. And while I am willing to compromise on a lot, there are some things that I just can't compromise on, you know? Maybe that makes me sound pretty closed-minded but faith is very important to me. So I completely understand your dilemma there. Minus being bipolar. I am not but I have a good friend who is. She is happily married to a wonderfully supportive christian man...so there is still hope for you! Don't worry, dear!

Re: Young and single!

Vituperator — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 23:00:06 -0700

I was talking to some of my friends tonight about the whole "I love not being attached, but it gets lonely" thing. For example, my roommate is engaged, so while he comes home from work and gets on the phone with his fiancé for three hours, I do what I please without having to worry about anyone else. Flying solo definitely has its perks, but then again, so does having a significant other to share things with. There is a certain aspect of the loneliness that definitely starts getting to you after a while.

Re: Young and single!

youmeaneverythingtome — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 23:21:03 -0700

Definitely, that's exactly what I mean! It's one of those 'I'm alone! But I'm alone..' type of situations. Maybe I'm just very scatterbrained in my thought process, but it's bothersome at times. However, it definitely gives me plenty of time to focus on NaNoWriMo and put out a great novel, so I really have no excuse! :)

Re: Young and single!

peacefulmisery — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 16:21:15 -0700

Re: Young and single!

nobody_knows — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 18:24:45 -0700

[quote=Oranbega] young and creative ladies of the world, I'll say: Do not despair, there are people out there who appreciate your creativity, artistic affinities, and unique/individual aspirations! [/quote] AMEN to that sister!!! Ah, being young and single. I admit, I don't need to have anyone in my life right now, but after 22 years of being completely single (okay, so maybe take out six months while sort of dating and then all the years from when I was born and about 12, when I first discovered the opposite sex), some times you do wonder how much nice it would be to have that special someone in your life. Mind you, I'm sure there's no-one in this world who could appreciate my complete loopiness. And it seems everyone is either getting married or having kids at this stage in my life (I am 22). It's like you said, ModestTreasure - stuff to do, people to see, novels to write. Sheesh, life isn't going anywhere, you don't need to fasttrack it that much! See the world! Explore! Find yourself in your own back yard! Yeah, okay, rant over. Single white female over here in the corner that is not bitter at alll.....

Re: Young and single!

truecolors — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 17:56:14 -0700

I have a black belt too. High Five! :)

Re: Young and single!

ModestTreasure252 — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 18:19:49 -0700

High five!!! What style? Mine is Ryu Kyu Kempo.

Re: Young and single!

truecolors — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 22:43:23 -0700

a mixed style... tae kwon do and karate

Re: Young and single!

40milliondaggers — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 11:06:22 -0700

Cool, me too! My style is karate. How come yours is mixed? Never heard of that, here it's either one or the other.

Re: Young and single!

Miss Dusk — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 17:12:24 -0800

Seriously! I had my apprehensions when I started driving. I just didn't want to learn. HOWEVER, I realized, I live in a very rural town and I have to drive 20 minutes to get to a grocery store, I needed to learn. Also, even though, I work 40hrs a week at a dead end job... I'm WORKING. I don't expect things to be handed to me, like some guys I know. I am currently contemplating on going to grad school and getting my Master's one class at a time because I feel a need to continue learning. I'm sorry the women in your life don't share the same drive to improve their quality of life.

Re: Young and single!

40milliondaggers — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 11:12:52 -0700

Wow, no wonder you broke up with her. I don't think I could stand being with someone who has got such (sorry for being direct, it's not my intention to insult anybody) brainless interests. I even have trouble tolerating some of my friends when all they do is talk about clothes and shoes. Makes me want to put a fork in my eye.

Re: Young and single!

Lillith — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 15:48:23 -0700

Totally second the beautiful dumb thing: completely useless. Except maybe to look at. Then again, nerdy/geeky guys can be rather nice to look at as well. Hehe.

Re: Young and single!

ShonnaRose — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 22:08:52 -0700

I totally agree with you as well. I definitely want a nerdy guy like me so I can have someone to talk to. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone I can't have a decent conversation with.

Re: Young and single!

Marius_Ryo — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 17:42:43 -0700

I don't really care how a nerdy/geeky looks. Back in high school I was best friends with very, very smart guy who graduated the same year I was a senior. He was okay looking, but after I got to know him I think I completely fell in love with him. I asked if he wanted to go out, and I ALMOST got him to say yes. But since I had relocated he changed his mind. He said he thought it would be the best for both of us if we just remained best friends. A few months later he got a new girlfriend whom he's deeply dedicated to. And he's not even 20 yet! O.o I was surprised when I wasn't jealous. I told him to take good care of her and to listen to her when she talks. I always wish them both the best of happiness.

Re: Young and single!

AtalanBeardy — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 09:26:14 -0700

21? Dating years have just begun.

Re: Young and single!

fingerpuppetporno — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 12:47:33 -0700

Cat lady-dom probably won't be too bad. Cats tend to be cleaner than people and they don't nag about everything. I'm a pessimist by nature, so anything dealing with romance and relationship is pretty much a field day for pessimism to rampage and ravage. Although I kind of enjoy being cynical and raining on (certain) people's parade. Only twenty and I'm already a bitter old woman. I've been prepped for cat lady-dom from the beginning. It'd be great, except for the fact that I'm more of a dog person.

Re: Young and single!

TGWild — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 13:16:50 -0700

I had a friend in high school who was also looking forward to catladyhood. We decided that she would reject houses entirely and just put a door in the middle of a field (full of cats). She would insist that people come through the door before talking to her, and additionally insist that they were knocking on the 'inside' of the door, regardless of which side they approached first. She had some clear goals in life.

Re: Young and single!

Kuragari91 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 20:53:33 -0700

[quote=gigadrive08] I'm single.. I could probably settle for some hot girl if I really wanted to do so, but I'd rather tough it out and find a nerdy, intelligent, funny, cute, conversational, likeable girl. All the sweet girls seem to be taken. [/quote] I don't know about taken. I think we are just all hidden. I guess the trick is to see who can find us in the end. Wait....why am I even saying us? Sorry! Not sure if I can apply for all of your points there, but one would hope to I guess.

Re: Young and single!

mandatheplaidpanda — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 00:08:55 -0700

The sweet girls aren't all taken, friend. Hidden is a good word for us; though admittedly, sometimes it feels more like overlooked.

Re: Young and single!

notaghoststory — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 00:22:13 -0700

Awww. They do exist, it is just often a harder game looking for them!

Re: Young and single!

Kuragari91 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 20:58:02 -0700

[quote=fingerpuppetporno] Cat lady-dom probably won't be too bad. Cats tend to be cleaner than people and they don't nag about everything. I'm a pessimist by nature, so anything dealing with romance and relationship is pretty much a field day for pessimism to rampage and ravage. Although I kind of enjoy being cynical and raining on (certain) people's parade. Only twenty and I'm already a bitter old woman. I've been prepped for cat lady-dom from the beginning. It'd be great, except for the fact that I'm more of a dog person. [/quote] Wow! I prefer dogs too, and I'm extremely pessimistic, but I find people go crazy when all I am is negative. Ugh! Why can people not just see the truth in everything? It's good to see someone similar to myself.

Re: Young and single!

fingerpuppetporno — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 13:19:59 -0700

I would have at least demand some sort of roof since cats don't like rain. But very clear goals, for sure. I'd have to commend her on the innovate plans, eccentric and more than likely, fun. Visiting her would probably always be fun, at least.

Re: Young and single!

Zouave — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 08:50:55 -0700

[quote=Adaptation] Am I the only one who finds constantly being around someone else to be incredibly irritating? [/quote] You, my dear, appear to be hanging around incredbly irritating people. ;-) I actually have the same thing with most people, but there are a few that I can handle near constant time with. Well, handle is not the right word. Enjoy is better. That's the pool of people I am looking in, cuts down on the irritation in a relationship when being around that person doesn't bug you. :-)

Re: Young and single!

Kuragari91 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 20:54:50 -0700

[quote=readingme] *raises hand* Single for over a year now. I study and focus too much on my writing to have a relationship...clearly I didn't have an "I-will-die-alone-and-my-cats-will-eat-me" crisis yet :D [/quote] I wish I had your dedication. I guess in this situation, I have more ADD than anything because I can't focus on studies that long. Writing is another story though, but I find that I get writers block once in a while. That's what kills me.

Re: Young and single!

Solana Nyx — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 21:18:03 -0700

[quote=Kuragari91] [quote=gigadrive08] I'm single.. I could probably settle for some hot girl if I really wanted to do so, but I'd rather tough it out and find a nerdy, intelligent, funny, cute, conversational, likeable girl. All the sweet girls seem to be taken. [/quote] I don't know about taken. I think we are just all hidden. I guess the trick is to see who can find us in the end. Wait....why am I even saying us? Sorry! Not sure if I can apply for all of your points there, but one would hope to I guess. [/quote] Indeed i agree. I suppose most of us hope for someone brave enough to find us. Hmmm... Naturally i can only speak for myself but i dare to dream that there are more out there.

Re: Young and single!

AtalanBeardy — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 21:59:16 -0700

If it comes down to finding you (you as in the sweet girls), could you at least put up a signpost or two? I'm terribly lost, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Re: Young and single!

Solana Nyx — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 00:05:54 -0700

Signpost where? I am new to the nano and am a little lost myself.

Re: Young and single!

mandatheplaidpanda — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 00:14:59 -0700

*both the guys I was with weren't who I thought they were. The first one really took advantage of me, and the second one was controlling. Now I'm just kind of disoriented. But I just keep swimming ^_^

Re: Young and single!

Solana Nyx — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 07:58:09 -0700

Maarow, wow that is aweful and quite frankly i am sorry it worked out that way for you! I swear not all females are like that! Geez i made the mistake of falling for a my best friend whom i thought returned the affection but it turned out i was way wrong and he "could never think of me that way because i wasn't good enough for him". He was a jerk but he wasn't like that at all until he got his first girlfriend (which was after i developed feelings for him) and she dumped him. However, i am truly sorry for the luck you have had and i hope you find someone who would love you to hold their hand in public (even if it is on the first date).

Re: Young and single!

Solana Nyx — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 17:59:48 -0700

[quote=JMeadows16] That being said, In my experience, Im just one of the boys, my guy friends tell me so. It gets really annoying actually...*sighs* And yet I could post a sign or two in neon flashing colors for the sweet geek whom I want and he would most likely miss it. (yes I read the entire thread before posting) [/quote] the male curse.... Obliviousness sad how that works

Re: Young and single!

Vituperator — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 15:43:39 -0700

Put your neon sign on a baseball bat. Then smack him in the face with it. Short of that, you're fresh out of luck getting him to notice that you're interested in him. Case in point, I'd been friends with the last girl I dated a long time before we got together. When I decided that I wanted to be with her and told her how I felt, she told me I was an idiot for not recognizing the neon signs she'd been flashing at me. That was a long time ago and I don't feel as though I'd make that mistake again, but still. It's out there, and it's an easy one to make.

Re: Young and single!

Zouave — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 08:39:16 -0700

Dangit, that's where I'm going wrong... I need some warts! In all reality, it is interesting to me how many people want to be chased/pursued. This is true of men and women, and I often see perfectly compatible people running away from each other because they just want to be wanted. I'm single, and after my last relationship, its going to take someone who's pretty amazing to change that. When I find that person, though, I hope she doesn't run, because I want someone who wants me, not someone I have to convince that they want me. I guess I tend to be more straightforward than most people, and expect the same. I'll make it clear if I like you, as scary as it is to bare your feelings when you don't know how the other person feels, and I am looking for someone that'll do the same.

Re: Young and single!

Maks87 — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 08:48:55 -0700

[quote=Colonel Lappington] Also single here. It's almost impossible to find a girl who's happy being 4th or 5th place to all my hobbies, my dog, my family, my need for alone time, etc. I seem to attract very clingy girls :( [/quote] Whoa dude then why bother having a relationship? What you want is a "friend with benfefits" not a girlfriend. I feel sorry for any girl you have or will "date" because i am sure she deserves better than that.

Re: Young and single!

Melrudin — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 07:48:03 -0700

Also, I'm super shy about initiating relationship stuff, so even if I like someone, I'm never actually able to get up the nerve to ask them out. :(

Re: Young and single!

Zouave — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 08:42:41 -0700

I used to have that problem. Why are you so shy? Is it a fear of rejection, or something else?

Re: Young and single!

Maks87 — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 20:46:01 -0700

[quote=Quicksilver_Wolf] Yep, I'm single and not by choice. I kid you not - NO ONE will go out with me. [/quote] I know this sounds cliche but have you asked? Been turned down? just curious because some people ask and don't recieve. Others don't ask and just sit on the sidelines. Others fear rejection and as a majority it seems that many have tried and have been rejected and therefore lay in waiting for someone to come along to rescue them from their solitude. So if i may ask, which are you?

Re: Young and single!

Melrudin — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 17:20:29 -0700

Yeah, as cliched as it sounds, it's fear of rejection. :/ I'm pretty sure it's mostly caused by the really bad breakup I had a few years ago... though I think I've always been kinda shy about it. Just not very confident in that regard.

Re: Young and single!

ilookedinthebox — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 17:49:37 -0700

That is such a hard question to answer. It could run any number of reasons, from having been hurt in the past by men to not having enough social etiquette to know how to approach one. Being intimidated by boys can be another reason, and I mean intimidated by the idea of dating a man, not actually intimidated by real men. Insecurity is another big issue, especially when said person in insecure in themselves and in their personalities. They could have been told their whole lives that they weren't good enough to date. To me, the best defense was laying it out on the table. I would always disclose my past and my present thoughts before I got far enough a long in a relationship to get hurt. I would say everything, because it will hurt less if I tell a stranger everything than if I tell a lover everything. though inevitably I would start to clam up once I really started knowing someone. I always get afraid that they wouldn't like the truth, or that they would hurt me. and flirting always does it for me. Flirting, or noticing something that you must know more about.

Re: Young and single!

Maks87 — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 20:52:42 -0700

Thank you also, I am truly sorry that you have resigned yourself to be the crazy husky lady. That is not a future i would wish on anyone. I hope that one day you will find a someone to appreciate you the way that you deserve :) . Many Thanks, Maks

Re: Young and single!

Zouave — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 12:33:43 -0800

I do not promise that this will work for you, but it did wonders for me. Go to the mall, or somewhere else and ask random people for their number. "Hey, I am on my way to meet some friends, but I saw you, and I know I'll be kicking myself all day if I don't ask for your number. You can even give me a fake number if you want, but at least I asked." Two things happen: 1. You get rejected, sometimes a lot, sometimes not. I was actually really, really surprised how many real numbers I got. 2. You realize that rejection is okay. After I tried this out, I also started doing something else, once I realized I was okay with rejection. I started giving my number rather than asking for one. It is way more respectful to someone, especially in a social situation, not asking for private information. It shows confidence, that you believe you're good enough to call, and it makes it easy for someone to accept that. There's no split second 'do I give my number or blow him off?' Decisions. -Every single person- I have approached this way has said positive things about it. Find what works for you, but don't sit on the sidelines missing out! I did for a really long time. Pain happens, but it isn't something to fear.

Re: Young and single!

Maks87 — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 20:48:52 -0700

Many thanks for your reply. I merely asked to get insight from a feminine point of view and your answer was perfect. I appreciate your thoughts and shall (hopefully) use them wisely. Again, many thanks, Maks

Re: Young and single!

Quicksilver_Wolf — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 02:17:12 -0800

[quote=Maks87] [quote=Quicksilver_Wolf] Yep, I'm single and not by choice. I kid you not - NO ONE will go out with me. [/quote] I know this sounds cliche but have you asked? Been turned down? just curious because some people ask and don't recieve. Others don't ask and just sit on the sidelines. Others fear rejection and as a majority it seems that many have tried and have been rejected and therefore lay in waiting for someone to come along to rescue them from their solitude. So if i may ask, which are you? [/quote] I've asked over 150 online, 2 of which said yes then turned me down. I asked once in real life, but only once, partly because I'm gutless and unable to *start* conversations, and partly because she FORGOT she had a boyfriend. That was 2006. I haven't asked since - not that there's been any point, because basically ALL females I want to ask out, blab about their boyfriends right as I decide to. Which has nothing on the infamous coffee shop girl incident, where I went to ask out this girl I'd been absolutely MAD about, out, and found out she was actually pregnant.

Re: Young and single!

ilookedinthebox — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 21:53:53 -0700

heh, I am surprised at how hard that was just to type out. :/ I guess another thing to add is that it is very difficult for people to be honest with themselves. Oh and that women aren't afraid of men, ( or possible lovers) Just afraid of ideas that had been built up by society and possibilities.' Actually I am very curious about how to write a more rounded male character. What does it take for you to be interested in a girl? how do you react and what are the feelings thoughts and emotions that run through your head before you make a move? What if a girl makes a move on you, how do you react to that?

Re: Young and single!

reine_margaux — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 21:01:09 -0700

Thanks hun. I may be a little overly pessimistic, at this point. Breakup's only a day old and I'm still really hung up over the guy. Although before him I was pretty sure that I was spending the rest of my life alone and I'm kinda back to that assumption...

Re: Young and single!

Maks87 — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 21:16:44 -0700

I know where you are coming from and i have a tendency to lean toward that assupmtion as well but sometimes it helps when someone gives you a smile and tells you that everything will work out in the end. So here is a smile from me to you :) and as my father used to say "sometimes life deals you a bad hand but it is our duty not to fall victim to its poison after all if it weren't for loss we wouldn't appreciate the things we have or will have." Things will get better, Maks

Re: Young and single!

Maks87 — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 22:30:12 -0700

My answer is simple. Honesty. When i am deciding whether or not to approach a girl i look at their eyes. An honest person studies not in an i'm going to rob this place kind of way but in a way that they seem to gauge their surroundings, they study people and things and just observe. Honesty however does not equal confidence necessarily. In fact 9 times out of 10 it means the opposite. An honest person recognizes faults and failures (real or imagined). This is true honesty being honest with oneself. So for example if a way smart beautiful girl views herself as shy, or ugly, or unintelligent it doesnt mean these things are true but it means that this is her being honest with herself (false or not). I dont know if that makes sense but psychology tends to do that to a person. Also, if i am seeking a girl to approach i dont just look for those i could see myself in a relationship with. My mother always said that a simple decent conversation with a member of the opposite sex can work wonders on self esteem and if you see it try to help. Third, to build up confidence i have to think of myself as an honest person and make myself aware of my flaws but be willing to work past them for that person and if i cant see myself doing that then i dont approach. Its not because i dont think she is worth it but i think that the possibility of love should move a person to action and if there is no spark not even a subtle one then a relationship will be a failure. But then again i do tend to be somewhat of a romantic so i could just be blinded by that as well.

Re: Young and single!

Frozen Sky — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 23:56:47 -0700

Maks is trying pretty hard to be noticed. Don't overlook him. :P

Re: Young and single!

DeliciousAmbiguity — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 16:17:20 -0800

Even if you are a hopeless romantic, you also seem to be really 'down-to-earth', for lack of a better term...you know what you want and if you don't, you actively try to figure it out =] So, yeah...just wanted to say, keep doing what you're doing (mostly because, for some reason, saying 'you go, girl' makes me feel like a 40 year old mother of two ;>.> )

Re: Young and single!

DeliciousAmbiguity — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 15:59:21 -0800

First, even though I'm female, I want to second the approaching someone even when you're not actively looking to be with them. Unless it's a rare case of love at first sight, there's no way to tell how you'll feel about someone if you just stop and have a chat with them. Obviously something about them interested you, even if there isn't instant attraction. Whether you come out of it with a love interest or just another acquaintance, I'd say job well done =] Also, I think I get what you're saying about being honest with oneself. It's like the difference/relationship between the real self, the perceived self and the ideal self. We constantly judge ourselves against our ideal self, what we wish we were or what we aspire to be. If we're honest with ourselves and the way we see ourselves (perceived self), we recognize these 'faults' we find when we're judging ourselves, whether or not they're an accurate representation of who we really are (real self). Also, this was great review for my psychology exam tomorrow ^_^

Re: Young and single!

Maks87 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 00:01:24 -0700

Nope trying hard to tell the truth depite the "you must be gay" or "you must be desperate messages." I like to converse and i like to learn about people and get fresh perspective.

Re: Young and single!

Frozen Sky — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 03:38:13 -0800

You never know, man!

Re: Young and single!

Zouave — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 12:12:15 -0800

28 also! :-) I was noticing a definite trend towards the 20 side of the 20s on here.

Re: Young and single!

ilookedinthebox — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 11:49:11 -0800

its all about how you feel anyway. It isn't fair for people to tell you you should be in a relationship if you don't want to be. Besides, it only helps out those of us who do want a relationship. ^_~ you should tell those people in your life to go pound salt because you are perfectly happy as you are.

Re: Young and single!

Sidoniehelena — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 14:50:14 -0800

How can the people in your life not see that being single is the right thing for you right now and that you're content? I will never understand people who try do do the right thing, but get it utterly and completely wrong! Good luck with your Nano!

Re: Young and single!

quilled — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 17:29:56 -0800

HA. I wish I could! But it's mainly the one person I'm the closest to because he's in love with me. I'm just not up for a relationship right now. The most intimate I'm going to be right now is to tell my jaw how much I hate it. I'll live vicariously through my characters. Finally someone who understands :D

Re: Young and single!

quilled — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 17:31:03 -0800

I KNOW! You'd think, being my closest friend, he would just accept it and respect my wishes! But nope, being in a relationship will ~magically~ fix it all, didn't you know? As long as I'm happy then he can deal with it. I have to be true to myself and not to him just because he hates not getting his way. Thank you! Good luck to you!

Re: Young and single!

Maks87 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 16:18:00 -0800

Thank you. You summed it up better than i seemed to so again, thanks

Re: Young and single!

Maks87 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 19:14:49 -0800

Hmmm... I just have 2 say that when i read the "you go girl" part i thought you were referring to me and was slightly offended but upon further examination it makes perfect sense. *is a little slow right now*

Re: Young and single!

ilookedinthebox — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 12:29:24 -0800

Thank you ^_^ your comment means a lot to me. and I feel a little bit silly because I haven't checked back on this reply and lo and behold a whole conversation happened without me looking O.O. its okay, whenever i hear the phrase ' You go girl' I think of someone snapping and then telling me to ' Go on with your bad self' ( A phrase that I use in my own head all the time XD)

Re: Young and single!

DeliciousAmbiguity — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 16:36:50 -0800

No problem, especially as I had slightly selfish motives =P Speaking of, let's hope for an 'A' tomorrow ^___^

Re: Young and single!

quilled — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 17:32:36 -0800

We're the same age, and so many of my friends are married/have babies already - it's so crazy to even think about! And I love. your. icon. Taylor Swift is the background music for my writing actually. But she's my music for everything!

Re: Young and single!

mackenziebradley — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 19:16:42 -0800

I know right? I mean, I could maybe see myself engaged if I had a long term boyfriend (and not a silly friends with benefits thing like I do now), but there's no way I can picture myself married and/or a mother at this age. I still feel like a baby myself! Even though I graduated college, have a "real" job and live on my own, I still don't feel like an adult. Thanks! Taylor is all sorts of adorable and she's kind of how I picture one of my MCs. And her music is basically my life too. I adore your icon as well. Ron and Hermione are my favorite Harry Potter couple <3

Re: Young and single!

mackenziebradley — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 20:03:26 -0800

I feel your pain. I wish I was in a real relationship with him too, but it wouldn't work for us. So now I'm just enjoying what I've got for now.

Re: Young and single!

DeliciousAmbiguity — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 05:49:32 -0800

Haha, yeah, it was meant to be a reply to ilookedinthebox's original post...don't quite know how it got to where it is o.O *hands virtual cookie* sorry for the confusion =]

Re: Young and single!

quilled — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 21:43:24 -0800

Me neither! I'm still figuring out myself and I want to get my writing career off the ground - I simply do not have time! I can't even get a job due to my TMJD but at least the treatment is beginning to take effect! You're welcome! Thank you! They're mine too! Hermione is my absolute favorite character, and Taylor Swift is such an inspiration. <3

Re: Young and single!

mackenziebradley — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 20:04:41 -0800

I have to really watch myself to make sure that doesn't happen with me. because in the past plots I've written have turned into my exact situation, only our names our changed.

Re: Young and single!

reine_margaux — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 20:44:45 -0800

I am finding it really hard because I'm writing a fairy tale romance story. And I just got broken up with. It's kinda hard to deal with...

Re: Young and single!

Kathynja — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 21:17:14 -0800

At least you kind of know that it wouldn't work. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining too loudly. I'm enjoying what I've got too. I just think it could work and he's not giving me enough of a chance for it. But I obviously don't turn him away, so what I do have can't be all that bad, right?

Re: Young and single!

AppleBright — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 20:11:20 -0800

I feel you. Had a break up Sunday. It was mutual, blahblahblah, but it still sucks. I've never lived alone, and now I'm going from living with my best friend to living alone and barely making ends meet within a week. It's...ridiculous. And weird. And totally affecting my novel, so thank goodness I was something like 4k ahead. Blehh.

Re: Young and single!

Frozen Sky — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 21:33:09 -0800

I wasn't going to say anything, but I dunno, I just can't let this sit. He's using you for sex, you know it, and if you let this continue you're going to end up completely hating yourself. That's heaven for a guy. Someone to have sex with and not have any kind of responsibility or obligation to them? Dude's got it made. And I'm not saying you don't get anything out of the sex, but you cannot pretend it's ever going to be more than that. Why would he start putting time and effort into you, when he already gets the only thing he wants out of you? You need to look out for your own needs too. I'm not saying it has to stop, but rather that something about it has to change or you'll end up miserable. And that's a hard truth; I'm sorry for that, but it's still truth.

Re: Young and single!

mackenziebradley — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 18:05:40 -0800

I've been in that place. My FWB thing has been happening on and off for five years now. I used to be absolutely convinced that we would get together at some point. But after a while it just hurt too much (we took a year long break from seeing each other, though we still talked because we are good friends) and I couldn't be in love with him any more. I care about him a lot (love) but I can't put myself through that pain again. It took me a long way to get here to being OK with the relationship as it is now, but I'm finally happy with what it is. That's not to say that there isn't a small part of me that would love for us to end up getting married or something years from now, but I'm realistic to know that won't happen. I hope things work out for you (whether that means being in a relationship with him or not)!

Re: Young and single!

Kathynja — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 00:36:57 -0800

I have no delusions about the fact that he is using me for sex. I know that. And just because I would -like- to be in a relationship with him, doesn't mean that I expect it or even that I'm trying for it. Just an idle desire. And since I'm rather enjoying the sex, and have no other prospects at the moment, I am content to be where I am. Trust me, he and I have discussed this in depth. He knows what I would like, and I know that I will never get it.

Re: Young and single!

Maks87 — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 06:42:58 -0800

Nah it was my fault. I misinterpreted. But i do love cookies so i will accept it and devour it with pride.... Although it is virtual so this may be a problem... Hmmm does it have virtual chocolate chips as well?

Re: Young and single!

DeliciousAmbiguity — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 14:15:34 -0800

Virtual chocolate chips -and- ice cream on the side...and rainbow sprinkles...minus the orange ones. I kept those for myself >.>

Re: Young and single!

OwlyCreature — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 13:21:50 -0800

Someone who feels like me :) I'm 24, right in the mid-range here, and don't want to be in any relationship where I'm not in love -- have been on the brink of it a couple of times, so I do know what I at least mean by the word -- but it takes me so much time to trust people that they usually just give up. It took my dearest friend 3 months of persistant stalking before I accepted her friendship fully. Now we're like sisters but if she hadn't kept at it we would both be sadder, lonlier people. Haven't met a guy yet who is up for that kind of investment, so... I've tried the dating thing a little bit, but it just doesn't work for me, so I'm waiting too, Sammet. I don't need perfect, just right. The "First-face-I-want-to-see-every-day/know-you've-got-my-back" kind of right. I guess both of us should just keep our eyes open and not be afraid to take that chance when it comes. And I have a happy little backup plan for if it doesn't ;)

Re: Young and single!

Maks87 — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 13:13:27 -0800

See what nanomail does to you! It makes you forget about everything else which is a rather interesting phenomenon i must say

Re: Young and single!

DeliciousAmbiguity — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 14:20:24 -0800

No problem! 'twas only the truth =] It was the conversation ninjas...sneaky little bastards that they are. At least it was on a forum, where you can just go back and read what's been said. It kinda kills -all- conversation when it happens in real life...not that I would know from experience. Why would you think that? *shifty eyes* Haha, in that case, you go girl! ^___^

Re: Young and single!

Melrudin — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 01:03:45 -0800

I really wish I could do that. :( I honestly am way too shy about stuff like that to do that. I wouldn't even be able to get the words out of my mouth. >> I realize I do need to try to be more confident, but it's really hard. :/

Re: Young and single!

ilookedinthebox — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 13:35:51 -0800

Its true! I have even gone so far as having forgotten to eat at this moment ^^;;

Re: Young and single!

Maks87 — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 14:10:12 -0800

Should i be flattered? ;)

Re: Young and single!

ilookedinthebox — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 14:54:53 -0800

Mmmn, Yes I do think you should be ^_~

Re: Young and single!

Maks87 — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 18:15:36 -0800

Hmmm and i am so fond of the orange ones... I suppose i shall settle for the red ones :(

Re: Young and single!

ilookedinthebox — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 14:54:10 -0800

They are sneaky little boogers. Preaching to the choir! T_T I have asked ' I'm sorry, what happened?" so many times and to be met by crickets most of the time and laughter the other part of the time. Get on with your bad self as well! XD

Re: Young and single!

DeliciousAmbiguity — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 15:04:08 -0800

Haha, right?! Once I was so out of it, that when I finally realized my friend was talking to me, I was a tad bit loud when responding with "What?"...he will never let me live it down v-v; I'm only glad it wasn't in a public place ^_^; Why thank you! I think I will xD

Re: Young and single!

Maks87 — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 18:14:22 -0800

Good because i am in case you hadn't guessed ^.^

Re: Young and single!

ilookedinthebox — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 16:43:59 -0800

it is more than perfectly fine to be happy as you are. That and tell your dad to mind his own eggs. seriously, I have a hard enough time talking with my dad about a sexy scene in a movie.

Re: Young and single!

RubyJubilee — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 04:43:13 -0800

It's all good! I get a lot of hassle from my "settled" friends and even more hassle from my family about why I don't have a boyfriend or anything. When I say that I'm happier alone and (for now at least) doing what I want to do they then say that's terribly selfish and immature; but I'd rather be alone and content than forcing myself in to a relationship where I have to compromise on everything I want for someone else. I'm getting a lot of the "you'll miss your chance to have kids if you don't find a partner soon" too, but it's just rubbish.

Re: Young and single!

Solana Nyx — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 10:10:54 -0800

Wow you really like this one don't ya maksy! Since you won't answer my emails are you still going to the party over at Alena's tonight for pizza and a movie? James will be there!

Re: Young and single!

DeliciousAmbiguity — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 04:56:27 -0800

Haha, I might be able to share =] Orange is my favorite color, bordering on obsession, really ^.^; So, you've gotta see how difficult this is for me XD

Re: Young and single!

reine_margaux — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 22:43:06 -0800

Yeah, Saturday for me. And even if it wasn't mutual, he was nice about it and I get his reasons and I'm not angry and the why of it at all... But it doesn't make it any easier, make me any less still in love with him or make it hurt any less. And writing about happy couples and sweet new couples getting together? Unfun.

Re: Young and single!

AppleBright — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 12:39:01 -0800

Ugh, I know. There's a couple in my story, and it's difficult to get back into it. Things are definitely looking up, but as I'm still technically living with the gent in question, it's double awkward. It'd almost be easier if one side of the couple was just a total jerk. Then at least you could rail against the unfairness of it all. As it is, you just kinda feel defeated. It makes me kind of wish I'd decided to be a NaNo rebel and do poetry all month--I'm sure I'd get some good angst of it!

Re: Young and single!

RubyJubilee — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 04:52:50 -0800

They "blab" about their boyfriends? Pfft! Yeah! How dare they already be in relationships when you've decided you're interested in them! What jerks! Pfft... I think you've been quite unlucky, and online dating can be deeply flawed, but there's no way out of singledom other than to put yourself out there really. Unless you're being hunted by women, but if not, then you gotta go out there yourself.

Re: Young and single!

Quicksilver_Wolf — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 06:36:52 -0800

[quote=RubyJubilee] They "blab" about their boyfriends? Pfft! Yeah! How dare they already be in relationships when you've decided you're interested in them! What jerks! Pfft... I think you've been quite unlucky, and online dating can be deeply flawed, but there's no way out of singledom other than to put yourself out there really. Unless you're being hunted by women, but if not, then you gotta go out there yourself. [/quote] I know right! Maybe I'll ask out what's-her-name at the post office on campus. *Maybe*. (can't think of any others)

Re: Young and single!

Maks87 — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 09:12:24 -0800

Ah yes that could indeed be a problem... Hmm i suppose i shall use my brain powers to multiply them!

Re: Young and single!

ilookedinthebox — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 16:10:31 -0800

awwww... <3 I love this. you will always have a stress free cross fiction friendship with me!

Re: Young and single!

DeliciousAmbiguity — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 10:08:02 -0800

Yes! We might as well get rid of all the other colors then...you could just make enough to cover all the ice cream ^-^ Nifty powers you've got there =] (yes, I did use the word 'nifty'...it's...nifty. And looks really strange now that I've spelled it out three times...hmm)

Re: Young and single!

Maks87 — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 10:17:09 -0800

BEGONE!! All ye useless colors!! Ta da! And i like the word nifty... Also the word ooey ah and also gooey they are fun to spell and very amusing. ;) sorry lack of sleep talking.

Re: Young and single!

DeliciousAmbiguity — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 12:07:10 -0800

Hahaha <3 Ooey, Gooey, Phooey...uhh, and many more -ooeys for you =] No worries, some of the best conversations are fueled by lack of sleep. (and by 'best', I generally mean 'most amusing' ^__^ but really, if you're not going to laugh at yourself or human beings in general, you're going to have one very miserable existence)

Re: Young and single!

theredherring — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 02:06:17 -0800

Don't get too down. Eventually, we all come to accept that life is good regardless of (or maybe because of) our singledom. It's not a bad place to be. As for your question about romantic inspiration, I'd recommend doing something totally unromantic to your characters. Dunno what your story is, but if there's someone working in a hospital, have them get thrown up on and then asked out (a la "Scrubs"). If you have characters set in a fantasy world, give them a task so hard that they have to work together (and maybe kindle a fire between themselves) to solve it. If you've got a boy from the wrong side of the tracks and a rich girl who are destined for each other, even the playing field, then make everything SO MUCH HARDER (aka, they are working at the same level in a corporate job and not allowed to date, have a super-strong connection, his mother dies, and she's going to get a promotion that sends her a thousand miles away). My point is, the best romances come out of conflict. And the conflicts don't have to be contrived, though they can be, and no one will judge you for it. It's NaNoWriMo. Happy writing!

Re: Young and single!

KickingKelly — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 17:39:27 -0800

I compelety understand the whole standards battle. There never seem to be an abundance of brains anywhere I meet anyone. And if they seem to have intellect the whole thought of common sense complete missed target with them. I am too frustrated to do anything productive right now and since blowing off writing, am really envious of all of your totals.

Re: Young and single!

Porsche_DeadEyes — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 17:47:22 -0800

Yep, having standards sucks, it's that reason why I've only had one serious relationship in my life and then some sort of.. I don't know thing. No one in my country is really the well-read ambitious type who's well my age, -_- My heart aches for you, but I wonder, why marry when you're so young? It's really none of my business though, but yeah it was a thought. As to getting romance, I know this may sound lame, but immerse yourself in some shoujo manga >< I wonder if the ones I will now recommend are too long, but here goes: Happy Cafe, Hana Kimi, High School Debut. I hope this helps with the romance scene. I don't really put romance, but when I do, I put like someone reading someone's diary. It sounds really corny, but it's very effective according to what's in the diary in relation to how the people actually interact. Good luck ^^

Re: Young and single!

Maks87 — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 10:34:21 -0800

Yes i will be there left NM at 6 this morning took a break for lunch and to grab some junk food and a new cd will be there soon.

Re: Young and single!

DeliciousAmbiguity — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 16:46:57 -0800

Yay! =] I do believe this just made my day ^_^ There are so many fictions to cross...we'll never get bored!

Re: Young and single!

KatKristin — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 17:55:47 -0800

Shoujo manga helps alot for inspiration as far as romance goes.

Re: Young and single!

DarknessRekindled — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 10:37:38 -0800

Shoujo manga is a brilliant suggestion! Honestly I haven't read a lot of it, but after skimming through a couple I think it could be exactly what I needed, thank you! And to be honest, I wasn't really interested in getting married until after I got out of college, but after she brought it up it was kind of difficult not to talk about.

Re: Young and single!

Porsche_DeadEyes — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 18:41:33 -0800

Hurray ^^ I'm glad you agree. :) One anime that made me my heat feel as though it was going to burst was Kuragehime, but it's only 11 episodes so far, so sigh I have to wait, I read the manga, but I need their voices a bit :(

Re: Young and single!

Shannanigan — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 19:29:02 -0800

*hugs*

Re: Young and single!

reine_margaux — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 20:44:58 -0800

Breakups suck, no matter how they happen. I raise a glass in solidarity and send you lots and lots of hugs and affection.

Re: Young and single!

Storm Dream — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 21:55:35 -0800

Nastashal, I'm sorry. Hugs to you, but props to you also for knowing how you want to be treated.

Re: Young and single!

Zouave — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 07:24:30 -0800

No amount of hotness can make up for the fact that he invaded your private space and crossed boundaries that you established. That type of behavior can escalate over time, it sounds like you did the right thing. I know its tough to think that, but I'm sure you'll find a great person that treats you better. Congrats on your word count, by the way!

Re: Young and single!

Nastashal — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 14:21:18 -0800

Thanks everybody. I'm trying to keep strong. I know I did the right thing.

Re: Young and single!

chessapphire — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 09:59:58 -0800

Whew, finally escaped that thing called real life and got started on my novel last night! There's at least three essays I should be working on instead, but, meh xD Proudly joining the young and single thread here, I'm nineteen and yup, pretty much always been single. To Saspirilla above me—if you love traveling, check out hostelbookers next time you want to go somewhere! I'm totally socially inept but didn't want to let that stop me from seeing the world, so I got a Eurail pass and went all over Europe by myself, staying in hostels that generally cost around $20 (though they ranged from $7 a night, at a pretty nice place in Prague, no joke, to $35 in more expensive places like Italy) or sleeping on trains—free board haha! Also, since you usually have roommates at hostels, it makes it a lot easier to talk to and meet people, since there's always a "where you from, where you going, why?" conversation just waiting to be started, and no matter how anti-social you are, it's hard not to talk to people living three feet away :) I basically have no friends in my home town, but I have them all over the world from my travels.

Re: Young and single!

Cygfa — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 11:56:06 -0800

[quote=chessapphire] Oh and yeah, I'm technically still a teenager BUT I'll be 20 on the 1st of December, so that's close enough to join the 20s forum, right? I mean I'm already 21 in Korea . . . and my co-workers say I'm 41 xD [/quote] Love your point about Korea, I have a friend from there and I remember the first time she told us about that. :-) Otherwise, I don't think any of us will be that nit-picking over the rules.

Re: Young and single!

chessapphire — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 11:58:23 -0800

Haha yeah, it was pretty awesome being there when I was eighteen and legal xD

Re: Young and single!

KickingKelly — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 13:06:46 -0800

I know the feeling regarding motherhood. I am nearly 30 with no prospects and my GYN told me years ago after about every medical condition possible that causes infertility sans STDs is in my chart, I should "get crackin'". But then there are some women who have had seemingly easy pregnancies much later, and with scientific intervention that one infamous lady did so in her 60s. Even though for most of us fertility is on a decline beginning at 28, it could be possible for you to have a wonderful pregnancy in the next decade. If you give up hope or even the ideation of mere possibility, how could I, with but one ovary, PCOS, Endometriosis, Uterine polyps, and no boyfriend have any hope at all?

Re: Young and single!

breathofawen — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 22:47:29 -0800

I'm not worried about fertility, so much. I just have no interest in pursuing the kind of relationship that leads to pregnancy... ;) As for you-- if you want something badly enough, then I am sure that you will be able to get it. I just don't want it badly enough, I guess. It'd just be a road not traveled for me, not a tragedy.

Re: Young and single!

mbrsart — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 18:16:31 -0800

It's very depressing indeed!

Re: Young and single!

KickingKelly — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 21:31:18 -0800

I guess I misunderstood what you were trying to say. As for me I am a traditionalist. Having a family starts with meeting a great someone to marry and then have children.

Re: Young and single!

Taiko Khan — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 16:38:17 -0800

Good on you!