Introverted Writers

WritingBandit — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 21:08:28 -0500

I know you're out there. I'm one myself. I figured I'd drag the conversation out of a thread and put it into a new one. Personally, I always thought I was shy, and it's something my family told me I had to stop doing. It took me a while to realize I'm really introverted. It's very draining to deal with people in person for too long, so I prefer to keep to myself. It's gotten in the way of a social life, but that's just who I am. Anyone else?

Re: Introverted Writers

AeliusBlythe — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 21:21:06 -0500

Meee! I used to be really shy as a kid actually. But I got over that and now I just prefer solitude to socializing. Nothing wrong with us. You know, I think introverted people can actually appreciate others' company even more than non-introverts because we're don't constantly surround ourselves with people. Plus, it's good for the writing.

Re: Introverted Writers

WritingBandit — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 21:48:20 -0500

I found it's not the talking I like to do, but the watching. And I'm sure that links to the writing. I'll watch people and their body movements, and apply it to my stories.

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quizzlebob — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 21:50:39 -0500

I've had many outgoing friends describe themselves as "shy people who force themselves through it" but I'm more like you. I prefer to keep my head down and live in my own world in social situations that I'm unfamiliar with because trying to keep up a conversation is a workout for a shy person like me. I've got my small group of friends that I'm a huge loudmouth around, but I love my me time. And Aelius is totally right about it being good for writing. As someone who draws, sews, reads, and generally does one-player activities, it works out very well that I enjoy my private time.

Re: Introverted Writers

olivertwisted — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 21:51:11 -0500

I'm one too. I enjoy spending time with my friends, but not too often. If I go too long without a nice stretch of solitude, I get irritated and start thinking about all the things (usually story ideas) I could be thinking about, if only I wasn't stuck in the middle of all these people.

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Allura_Darkelf — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 21:55:56 -0500

I'm one. I tend to keep to myself a lot. I hate going to crowded places, and if I do go to somewhere crowded, I get extremely agitated. That's not to say, I don't like people and human contact.

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Beyond the Event_Horizon — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 22:05:49 -0500

Same here. I'm really shy when it comes to being around new people. I keep to myself and not bother others. I also don't like going to crowded places. I don't socialize much but it doesn't really bother me that I don't. I like being alone and being in my own mind. I'm happy being who I am. If I get that feeling of wanting human contact, I usually go out with my sisters.They definitely help me have fun and get out of my apartment. I just don't like to talk much.

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rachelpea — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 22:08:07 -0500

I am a classic, classic introvert and a pretty shy lady, too (I don't think all introverts are shy). I prefer to be quiet and to observe the things going on around me, like a lot of you. It's only difficult because I feel like the world is built around the assumption that everyone is an extrovert and that spending time around people all the time is "normal". I'm glad to know there are a lot of us out there.

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SkillfulCreations — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 23:06:33 -0500

I'm an introvert who would rather be around people than by myself, but if I'm constantly around people then eventually I'll need alone time.

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IsBreaLiomCaife — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 23:58:22 -0500

I'm a very shy introvert. I'll talk about plenty, and I'll even tell you about my past, but I do NOT discuss feelings. I generally give people the impression of a conversationalist until I walk away and they realize that they don't even know my name.

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awake — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 00:13:20 -0500

Working retail as an introvert was seriously the worst idea. Its much accepted that as long as I'm given a project that doesn't involve a lot of people or uh, customers I'll get it done faster and more accurately than anybody else. But stick me up on the front register for an extended amount of time I get agitated, drained, snappy... it's not pretty. They keep telling me its in my head and I just gotta try harder and be nicer and smile more. I don't know how to explain that's just literally not my nature.

Re: Introverted Writers

Kate L — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 01:45:04 -0500

same here

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adorable fluffy kittens — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 02:15:17 -0500

Yes, I am an introvert, in that I absolutely require solitude to recharge my mental batteries. With my current living situation, this often involves sitting at the patio table with my netbook and giving the Superbitch! look to anyone who tries to touch me or engage me in too much conversation. If someone just wants to talk in order to air out their thoughts, though, I'm decent at pretending to listen just enough to make 'em feel better. I'm not so much "shy" as "social skills deficient", though. I'm not terribly good at figuring out people I don't know, so I end up being either super-withdrawn as I attempt to puzzle out the situation, or Superbitch! because things have gone awkward and I'm not terribly tactful in face-to-face communications. Online interactions are just fine, though. I can pretend to be more 'normal' than I really am. :)

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Waking-day — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 03:03:56 -0500

Class me as an introvert - I deal well in smallish groups for a while, but am best off when I have some time to get away from everyone. This plays in well with writing, where I don't need distractions.

Re: Introverted Writers

boysloveboys — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 03:48:53 -0500

I find people draining when they're not my compatible type of person. Of course you're going to feel drained when you're struggling to talk to people who just don't get you. Writers, artists, musicians... most of the time, we have personalities that don't quite mesh with society's ideals and norms. But when I do meet people in person who click, then it's fun and energizing. That said, I'm definitely an introvert. I'm practically a hermit, even... I don't really go out. Maybe that's pathetic to most people, but I don't know. I get to do what I like to do, and most things I enjoy are things I do alone. I don't think writing and drawing are wastes of time.

Re: Introverted Writers

Eunoia — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 04:49:17 -0500

Yeah. Well, introvert and/or fear of being an extrovert. Either way, it's similar. There's also the added complication that I think I have social anxiety which obviously makes me even more introverted. I like listening to and watching other people, perhaps it's the writer in me, and I don't like talking because I just can't express myself that well. I'm practically a hermit when I'm at home (away for university right now so I have to go out) and I like being on my own and not having the pressures of being around people, it can be quite tiring.

Re: Introverted Writers

akizakura — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 05:09:29 -0500

I can relate so much to a lot of what you guys have said. I've only recently accepted that I'm introverted, because I come from a very extroverted family and I was outgoing growing up, though much of it was forced. I like my friends, family, and meeting new people - in small groups, and in small doses that allow me to leave when I need to. However I feel most refreshed when I've had time to myself - whether it's to write, read, draw, sew, or play video games/watch TV, or even just think. My family and friends are finally beginning to accept it and I live with a somewhat introverted roommate, so it's been easier in adulthood then it was in high school. I find as long as I keep a balance (and work helps!), being an introvert isn't so bad at all! ^-^ For me I think the next hurdle is dating - the last relationship I had, the guy took it personally if I didn't have concrete plans but didn't want to hang out with him (or anyone) that day either. He didn't understand that some people like time alone sometimes.

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Mistress Aeryn — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 05:19:21 -0500

I'm an introvert as well. I hate being around other people for too long - it has a tendency to completely exhaust me both physically and mentally. I've figured out that for every hour of social interaction, I need at least two hours on my own to recharge my batteries. Even on my bad days I sometimes don't like being around people I do know. I don't do small talk - I basically don't know how to do it and I definitely don't understand the point - and I despise talking on the phone unless it's an absolute necessity. And being the centre of attention is absolutely terrifying (in a nutshell, it triggers an anxiety attack). About the only time I truly come out of my shell is at concerts. And seeing as it's rare that I actually get to go to concerts, I don't come out of my shell all that often. :/

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croiselediable — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 07:50:23 -0500

I . . . THINK I'm introverted? I don't know. I grew up believing I was shy (not as shy as my sister, I admit), but then I have people saying, "Oh, Ashlee, you're not shy." None of my friends believe I'm shy, yet the thought of approaching someone makes me freeze in terror. They also say I'm a flirt. But, again, I could never actually go up to these guys for the life of me, so I don't know. Maybe I'm a mixture of both intro- and extrovert. Either way, it's pretty irksome. I wish I could be as confident and outgoing as some of my friends, but alas. This is not me.

Re: Introverted Writers

charleenlynette — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 09:35:21 -0500

Let's see . . . prefers solitude social skills deficient much more comfortable online than in person suspected (though never diagnosed) social anxiety physically and emotionally draining to be forced into social interaction Yup, that all describes me. I have a few very close friends. And I'm married. And I'm good around my immediate family and SOME extended family. But beyond those few people, I'm always awkward and uncomfortable and would pretty much rather be by myself. And even WITH those people, I'm occasionally awkward and uncomfortable and would rather be by myself. And I definitely don't mind that I'm an introvert, even if that's not the norm. I just wish it were easier for me to do the social interaction thing when it's necessary.

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monquito — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 10:03:32 -0500

I am an introvert, I am shy (although less so than I was as a teen), diagnosed with social anxiety, and I have a huge fear of anger. The only jobs I've been able to do without getting to drained I fall into a depression are: librarian and church secretary. While both of these jobs are in a way customer service oriented, the people you are required to help feel obligated to speak to you in mostly gentle, hushed tones. Retail was a nightmare for me, especially when I was in a pharmacy -- people get *really* angry there. Mostly at the health care system in general, but they take it out on the girl/guy working the register. I do extremely well with small groups of close friends, but I am not good at all with parties, crowds, cultivating many acquaintances. I agree that sitting back and observing is great for writing, but generally out in public I get so anxious and self-conscious that I'm not observing anything other than need to get out of there!

Re: Introverted Writers

rachelpea — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 10:32:53 -0500

Have any of you seen this before? http://imgfave.com/search/care%20for%20introverts The first time I saw it, I thought "Yes! Yes! Yes!" as I went down the list. I think that a lot of people misunderstand introverted people as being either rude or withdrawn or bitchy. I get irritable and defensive when I feel like someone is trying to "force" me into situations I am uncomfortable with or when they make me the center of attention (often by doing something as seemingly harmless as asking me about my day).

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hrsegrl245 — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 12:10:51 -0500

I'm an INFP- Introverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving. So I'm an idealistic introvert... I want the world to be how i see it in my rose colored glasses. Why not? I've been shy and quiet most of my life. I can become outgoing when in a small group of trusted friends and family. I have a kind of fear of the world really. I don't like calling people on the phone or following up on conversations or plans. I have huge fears of rejection from people. I could do or say something that will make them not like me. If I say something that I feel was wrong or awkward I later repeat this over and over in my head. I do get pissy when things in my life suddenly change and I don't have the time to react. I feel things very strongly (good and bad). I work with animals for a reason! haha. Actually animals have always been drawn to me since I was very little because I was quiet and calm, unlike some of the other kids around me. Now I do work hard to be social at work with the clients but I mostly talk to the animals... like they are going to talk back right? I enjoy writing because it gives me a chance to express myself without hurting anyone else. And I get what I call "me" time.

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harmonyturtle28 — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 12:18:18 -0500

I'm an introvert, and I have found the lack of respect for how I am so annoying especially in dating. I've dated introverts, and extroverts. It seemed whenever I dated an introvert he would be trying so hard to fit in as if he wasn't one. This also caused me to be forced into feeling like I needed to change. The extroverts actually seemed more understanding to the fact I wasn't extroverted. The pressure to be more outgoing was so bad that I had to begin with a disclaimer before I would begin dating someone that I wasn't too into seeking out a lot of company that often. I don't ever hear of anyone pressuring an extrovert to change, but it seems introverts are constantly misunderstood, and people think they need to be fixed. I've finally accepted that I am the way I am, and I'm not going to change it. I want to add that I enjoy the company of other people, but not necessarily always interacting with other people. I love sitting in a room with my family, or friends, and being able to not have to have a conversation. I can do what I want like such as reading, or whatever, but not feel obligated to interact all the time.

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gargoyle575 — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 13:30:04 -0500

Introvert here. I used to be shy(er), but working in customer service for the better part of 10 years and taking up belly dancing has helped me overcome some of that. I remember my first big retail job where we were expected to say hello to anyone within 10 feet of us. I was terrified of getting picked up by a mystery shopper because I couldn't bring myself to say hello to a stranger! But I still don't like being around huge groups of people--if I need a relaxing weekend of a day off, I will decline invitations because hanging around a lot of people is not relaxing for me! Fun, but not relaxing. I've noticed a lot of people have listed social skill deficiencies as part of their introversion---that's me as well. I wonder if it has something to do with the fact that we tend to spend less time with others and therefore lack some of the subtle cues that aid with social skills?

Re: Introverted Writers

machine.lady — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 13:52:16 -0500

I'm definitely introverted. Being around people for too long drains me, and I definitely need to be by myself quite a lot. I don't mind it, I don't have the desire to have a huge group of friends or be with people every day, it's just who I am and I don't feel bad about it. I might have a bit of social anxiety, but not diagnosed - it's not bad enough that I would see someone about it. One of my friends actually asked me how I could stand to not go out on Saturdays (I do, [i]sometimes[/i], but far from every weekend). He absolutely didn't get that I was not bored without people around me! Then again, he is a very extroverted person, so it's quite understandable that he doesn't get it. And I'm with those of you not liking to talk on the phone - I'd much rather email. My family don't get that, but they don't get that I need me time to recharge my batteries after big family events either.

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LiebeLeben — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 16:34:53 -0500

I want friends, but don't know how to make and keep them on a face-to-face level. I can't really say, "Hi, my name's Essie. What's your name?" No. It's more of this. I rarely introduce myself to people and after sixth grade my social skills went down. Just... down. I prefer online friends (though there are a couple I would like to meet one day) and not looking people in the eye.

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arrowsforpens — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 17:08:24 -0500

Me too! I'm not shy (in person at least), and I can pretend that I'm enjoying talking to someone, but that's even more draining. People really are exhausting. And then I go into isolation mode. I took the Myers-Briggs and tested introvert to extrovert at 23 to 1. No wonder I don't make new friends quickly ^_^;;

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Kells399 — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 18:45:37 -0500

I'm a shy introvert as well. It's annoying though, because I do like people and I can get very lonely and depressed without regular interaction. The problem is I'm too shy to seek people out, and my introverted nature makes it difficult for me to maintain any kind of relationship; be it friend, family, or otherwise. Plus finding a job is annoying too, I've never really had a job before and so many of the jobs I'm looking at are fast-paced and rely heavily on people skills, things that I've never been great with. I'm afraid an extroverted job would kill my rather bad nerves, and make me into a depressed, trembling mess. When I took martial arts I was required to help teach as I advanced the ranks; so I was a senpai (teacher's assistant) for a couple of years. While my nerves did get better as I did it more, I never really got over the anxiety as I walked into each class, or the downright fear when I was placed in charge of a large group. I worry that my lack of social interaction could affect my writing too, as in I'm afraid it affects my ability to create fleshed-out, believable people; I feel like the palette of characters I can create is limited because I haven't had many close friendships or personal interactions. Sure, I've seen many types of characters from books and movies, but that's like comparing a photograph to an actual place. I wish I could get to know more people just so I can get to understand their viewpoints and how they think.

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Tsukasa — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 18:52:12 -0500

Oof. Definitely. I can spend all weekend with friends, having a good time, and go to bed Sunday night thinking, "Geez! Didn't get to relax all weekend!" It's not that I mind spending time with people or even engaging in conversation or making new friends (I am a well-adjusted introvert). It's just that it's really draining and I need to have the occasional alone time. In fact, this very second (it's almost 6 on a Friday for me while I'm posting this) someone's bothering me to go spend time with them after I spent the whole day with people. A whole eight and a half hours with people, and now I just want to chill . . . ALONE. And they don't get that. Whyyyyy? I also tend to get annoyed with someone if I spend too much time around them and nobody else. Though I have a large enough group of people now that it doesn't happen so often anymore. I can't room with people; I get annoyed being around them all the time. Even other people being in the other room can grate on me.

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DuraKaN — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:35:35 -0500

Me! Hell, I'm so introverted that I wrote a load of stuff here about how introverted I am, and then pasted it into a private blog entry instead because I don't want anyone to read it. ;D

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lovely_sparkle — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 20:09:22 -0500

Absolutely introverted over here. I was quite shy as a kid to begin with, and then had some bullying in middle school that has had a lasting effect on me, so I'm just messed up now. However, I have started to accept that I'm naturally a quiet, observant, internal person. It's generally just around strangers or people I don't know very well, or in large social gatherings like classes when I was in college or parties. Around my friends I am not the same person. I just wish other people would understand that I don't have to be constantly talking or interacting with people to be content. It's especially hard with dating when you don't know the other person well at all and then you feel awkward about not talking enough or not being interested enough. Frustrating.

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Vyctori — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 00:51:17 -0500

Pretty much, I get out of the house and see friends but I feel the best when in my room, with the blanket over my body and my eyes fixed to a monitor, or page.

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wintertulip — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 05:08:19 -0500

I'm hugely introverted. It's been months since I had a face-to-face conversation with someone other than my immediate family or my partner (and my talks with him are all over skype), and I'm fine with that. Friends are mostly a source of stress. I recently dropped out of a phd program because I couldn't handle the fact that I was supposed to have regular meetings with my supervisor, and because having isolated myself from all my peers, I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to be doing. I'm now working from home and much happier.

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restlesslilly — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 10:05:20 -0500

I was voted shyest in my graduating class in HS. I had a few friends, but not many. I have even less now. Except online. I am much more comfortable with words. In person, I am quiet and awkward. I think some people mistake me for being rude, but I just don't like social situations. I've been diagnosed with GAD and social phobia/anxiety. I rarely leave my house. I'm a SAHM, so that's mostly okay for now. Least until my kids get older. I was truly agoraphobic for awhile a few years back, I couldn't even stand to leave my bedroom without having a panic attack. I'm okay leaving my house now, but I'm always so glad to come back home. I love being alone. Having kids has put a damper on that lol, but I still get alone time when they sleep and husband is at work. While I'm not nearly as introverted and shy as I was as a child and teen, I still struggle in social situations a lot and don't make real life friends very easily. That's okay though. I prefer staying home to read, write, be online, listen to music....than to go anywhere.

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lost4wards — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 10:29:35 -0500

I'm glad to have found this thread. Most of my life I've been made to feel bad for being quiet or unsocial as if I need fixing. I'm happy being this way. I used to be shy, but no longer. I like spending time with my friends, but sometimes I'd rather not. That's me.

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deadpoetmentis — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 11:50:23 -0500

I'm an introvert and I have to agree with Lost4wards, I used to feel bad about it but you know what.... that's just me. I'm happy being myself, happier now than I have been in a long time. So that's me saying (not so) loud and proud that I'm an introvert :P

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Frozen Sky — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 12:10:17 -0500

I'm an introvert but I don't really feel like I have any trouble in social situations. I just need the occasional hermit time. <_<

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shinyred — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 13:40:26 -0500

This is totally me. I have always had a small group of friends that I rarely hang out with. I hate making phone calls with a passion and am so happy that majority of things can be done through email. People always think I'm weird when I say that I dislike people and prefer myself. Then they ask how I can teach. I am fine with the kids its the parents that freak me out. I hate having to talk to them, conference week is a major stresser for me. I get mean and jumpy when I am in a crowded place for too long. I don't like being thrown into a new situation with bunch of people I don't know with no one really there with me. My boyfriend will do this a lot, go hang out with they guys at a party and leave me with the girls. They all hate me because they think I'm a bitch but really I just don't know how to interact with everyone. I have days that the introvertedness is much worse and I can't handle seeing anyone at all. I do tend to make my characters very social though.

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Neo-Courtney — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 16:12:02 -0500

I'm pretty much an introvert, but there's a little extroversion in me. I love going to social outings (not necessarily parties, but things like concerts, fairs, meet-ups, etc.), but if I talk to anybody for too long, even my mom, I get really irritated and just want them to leave me alone already. Also, I like to stay quiet until I have something interesting to talk about... I just can't listen to mindless droning. That actually makes it hard for me to talk to people.... I have a lot of interests, but sometimes I think I'm the only one interested in these things, because I have no one to talk to about them, and unfortunately, sometimes the people who are interested in the same things i am also happen to be people I already hate (ex. in middle school, there was this boy in my class that I couldn't stand, and at the time I was really into Harry Potter. So was this kid. >_>) I can add to that the fact that I'm eccentric and don't think the same way most people do. :p As a result of all of this, people either hate me or they're scared I'll murder them, but oh well. I used to think that all of that was because of my trust issues, but thought back and realized that I rarely hung out with people I did like, often of my own volition. Unfortunately for me, those people were not only extroverted, but hypercaffinated. XD

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WiresInABox — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 16:42:33 -0500

I'm very introverted and have always been. I often feel that I need more time than most people to get to know someone, but most people I'm trying to get to know don't have time to wait for me. So in new groups I'm always outside all subgroup constellations to begin with. But I always find someone eventually. There are people I get along well with from the very beginning, people who aren't so... hasty. But they're harder to find! I'm also awkward in social situations with people I don't know very well, like small talk during the lunch etc. My mind just goes completely blank and I can't think of anything to say! And when I want to say something the subject has changed. I'm so slow!! I like being around people and I am a really good listener, I'm just very bad at talking. I don't mind spending time alone. I didn't have any friends when I was younger and was always alone after school, so I got used to it. Sometimes I tried to join some classmates for some activity but I always felt left out, like they didn't really want me there. That felt even worse than being alone in my room, so I preferred the latter. Even thou I have more confidence now I'm so used to being alone and spending time with myself that I have started to like it. Or at least I don't mind it. I have friends but they live far away so we don't see each other very often. But when I go visit them and live with them, spend all my time with them I feel so warm and happy. And when I'm alone I long to the next time I can go see them. And this year I was out a few times with a guy I had a huge crush on (he was my dancing instructor!) and it was sooo nice, I enjoyed every second. We really had some sort of connection, even if we stopped seeing each other (he moved away... just my luck!). My life felt so empty afterwards.Meeting nice people once in a while feel like a faraway dream for me. I really, really want to have more friends to spend time with on a regular basis but like I said, I have a trouble making them. People like my friends or that dancing instructor are so hard to find.

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wolfloverapril — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 18:13:32 -0500

I'm definitely an introvert....no matter how much I wish I was an extrovert. I just don't do well in social situations and I'm always on the outside looking in when with a big group. When I first meet someone, I'm shy and quiet at first then after a few days of getting to know someone, I get to be a bit more of a talker. I also do all right in small groups of four to five people but then when more people start to join, I slowly start to back out and eventually leave if the group gets to big and go mingle with a small group once more. My friends always say I'm a great listener which is true. Mainly because I have no idea what to say and that I hate interrupting someone else who is talking, so instead of just saying what pops in my head and interrupt, I stay quiet then soon forget what I was going to add in the conversation. Also, I am way awkward around guys for the first few times I see them, then eventually I loose some of that awkwardness. So, yea...I'm definitely an introvert... Oh and I hate really huge crowds that are crowded close together, almost on a phobic level...so no Subway system in New York for me...probably even no going to New York ever either.

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Unoriginality — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 19:39:17 -0500

Introverted with a case of social anxiety on top of it. I was more outgoing as a child, but that's because I was desperate for company. I was fine with just sitting in someone's company and reading. Now I have my lovely life partner, and I'm never lonely except when she's at work. I have to take medicine to interact with the public, though, or groups bigger than three, including myself. It's just so tiring.

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hmckin20 — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 01:50:24 -0500

I'm a complete introvert but I have social anxiety. But I'm really loud around my friends. I don't make sense. :P

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sharp.object — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 09:47:16 -0500

I identify with introverted, but I think my situation's kinda.. strange? I'm quite confident and have opinions and likes and a style that seems to rub people the wrong way. I tend to say what I think and then get people blowing me off. I had a friend who was so fragile with her self-esteem that our friendship broke up because I couldn't pamper her. I tried my best to keep my mouth, but whenever we argued it was because she always took my actions as personal insults. So for me, I guess I could be very social, but I tend to avoid conflict. I freaking hate conflicts and arguing and I tend to attract a lot of that. People seem to think I should just talk pretty and keep my mouth shut, when men seem to get away with the same exact behaviour. So I prefer to be alone, because I always stick out in a crowd. I like debates, I like to talk about the hard stuff and I will say it aloud if someone's being an ass. I don't get a lot of friends because eventually I get tired of holding back. So it's either a nice night at home with the boyfriend, or a stressful evening of cencoring everything I say and think. I always need a day or two during the weekends to just relax in silence in order to go social again next week. It's pretty exhausting to watch your mouth. Also the reason why it takes so long for me to get comfortable around new people/workplace. If I were a more agreeable person, I'd socialize a lot more. But small doses of me seem to be the foundation of a healthy friendship. I like my own space and I hate people that think they can just come in and invade it whenever they feel like it.

Re: Introverted Writers

rachelynn — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 21:26:37 -0500

I am very introverted, and not just because I struggle with social anxiety. I need alone time. I also journal a lot... if I can't have time to myself to write about my thoughts, and life, I get more stressed and mixed up! I don't really see anything wrong with being an introvert, being introverted is a good thing! But sometimes it is hard, especially having anxiety added to it. I enjoy being an introvert though! It does help with writing, I also like to think a lot about things, sometimes that can be bad though if it's about something negative or confusing. I like to listen to and observe people. I'm lost in my own little world a lot, and I'm "slower" than people, can't keep up with conversations sometimes. Also have a fear of talking anyways... Anyone feel like because you're an introvert, you are slower? I mean... take life more slowly, more calm, hmm can't really describe what I mean, but perhaps someone out there knows what I'm saying? :P I feel like I don't have to have friends to be completely happy, but it is nice, if and when I have friends. It's hard to understand (but I can imagine where they are coming from) those people who say they are "bored" in one night when there is nothing to do away from home, no party, or get together or shopping spree etc! Why can't they enjoy the time at home, to read, or watch tv even? do some relaxing, quiet activity? take some time to think? I don't know if this is an extrovert vs introvert thing or not... @ restlesslilly I was also once truly agoraphobic, and still have tendencies towards it, I am at home nearly all the time. I think the world outside of my house is mostly overwhelming and unsafe.

Re: Introverted Writers

Janje — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 12:03:33 -0500

I am a social introvert and my hubby has social anxiety. Neither of us like going in crowded stores, some times busy stores can trigger an anxiety attack on my hubby and then we have to get out of the store Right Now Or Else. And I am awkward all the time which drives everyone close to me crazy. I like working from home because I tend to make people annoyed because I never know when to stop talking and can be very blunt and obnoxious. I hate people. I like friends and persons but I hate people. As in groups. Hubby is even more extreme than I am and we can be very rude as a result. But it all boils down to social anxiety and introvertedness. As a kid I had like... maybe... two friends I was at all close to and I still hardly talk to them.

Re: Introverted Writers

Kurokage — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 16:24:49 -0500

Wow, reading this forum makes me feel better. :) I'm a definite introvert, extremely shy, and . . . socially awkward, I guess. I'm terrible at holding conversations with pretty much everyone. Even amongst my small group of close friends I feel a bit awkward. And people in general just make me nervous. Retail jobs were mentioned earlier, heheh, my first job was in retail. The manager had to keep nudging me to go greet people rather than stand behind the counter like it was a shield. I was there for almost three years, but it did cure me of being too chicken to talk to to strangers. :D Hmmm, I would be curious to know....what kind of percentage of authors in general are introverted?

Re: Introverted Writers

JustinJans — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 11:39:35 -0500

I'm just weird. I can express myself through writing a lot better, obviously, so on the internet and through texting, I'm a lot more open then I am in person. Also, I have no social skills so in settings where there are a large group of people I stay quiet because I never know what to say at all. I guess I am an introvert. I have some friends that can go up to random people and just start talking to them and then make friends...I don't understand them. My lack of social skills is one of the reason I'm single most of the time.

Re: Introverted Writers

Chigun — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 16:11:34 -0500

I'm introverted, but not shy. But as far as introversion goes I'm extreme, as every test both official and non-official has told me. Not that I needed some fancy test to reflect the patterns of my habits. I don't like to talk. I've been asked "You don't talk much, do you?" through my life more often than I care to count. Thing is, something I feel it's others' who talk *too* much about things that really don't matter. I like isolation at least 80% of the time. I don't believe myself weird or anything. It's just the way Introverts are set up. Introversion is not an abstract concept but something tested in empirical studies time and time again. After getting sufficient alone time, I can go out and do whatever for a little while, and then return to recharge. I prefer staying home and reading or watching PBS to partying, therefore I don't party. I can count my friends on one hand and that suits me just swell. Have kept diaries since fourteen (twenty-three now) so it's sometimes interesting to look back and see how much has changed and what's stayed the same. :)

Re: Introverted Writers

JGHarris — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 17:48:40 -0500

I've always been very introverted and had a lot of social anxiety, although I've learned to fake it quite well with, say, customers at work or any strangers that I'm required to speak with for a short amount of time. I enjoy spending time with certain people - family or close friends - because I like them and want to spend time with them, but just being around people for the sake of being around people has no appeal to me... quite the opposite.

Re: Introverted Writers

CloseSesame — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 18:08:08 -0500

I love reading about everyone's different experiences of introversion. I've long been content with who I am but it's still nice to get that extra confirmation once in a while that you're not the only one who's abnormal (which I think statistically speaking we are). I'm an introvert. Never thought of myself as shy (except for one or two years when I was bullied in secondary school) but many people say that they thought I was shy before they got to know me. I just like to take time when I first meet people to sort of observe them a bit and the dynamics of a group especially, so I can be aware of where the boundaries are (e.g. in some groups I will rarely joke as they won't get it; in others jokes about necrophilia are commonplace and encouraged). Once I've got that, if I'm 'charged' I can go on for hours if I like the people or a subject. I have a bit of social awkwardness and social anxiety. I don't actually mind the former too much, being very logical rather than emotional, so as long as what I'm doing isn't affecting anyone else negatively then I don't mind being out of step with everyone else. (Hence my mohawk which has been dyed all colours of the rainbow, and so on.) The anxiety though comes from when I worry I'll be upsetting or inconveniencing someone else. For example I really dislike asking an individual for help because I think there will have been a really obvious answer that was staring me in the face all along so I was wasting their time. I can only abate this fear by doing sometimes ridiculous amounts of research beforehand, and being totally sure I know what I want to say and how so that I get all the important information across...I often write a script for myself if I have to phone a helpline. There are certain people who I could be around practically all the time because they don't seem to drain my batteries, but they are few and far between. Most people, even if I love them dearly, will start to irritate the crap out of me after an extended period. Sometimes the idea of even going out in public is exhausting...I had a really weird experience a couple of years ago where I was shopping close to Christmas, standing inside a WH Smith and suddenly everything was just overwhelming, all the noise and the colours and the closeness of the shelves (even though it wasn't that crowded with people) and I had to get out just to be able to breathe properly. That, luckily for me, was a rareity. And despite all of this, I am a counsellor! I counsel children and teenagers both on the phone and online. Online interaction in general is easier for me (because I can choose when to switch off and walk away or take my time in responding) but through counselling it's just as difficult as on the phone, even more so sometimes as you don't have the environmental cues that the phone provides. Sometimes I go home with a headache feeling drained but I still enjoy it as it's worthwhile for me, so I can put up with it.

Re: Introverted Writers

louellena — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 08:37:43 -0500

:) I'd count myself as introverted. While I like seeing and talking to people (like, say - on buses and in passing), I like my own company best. As some have said, I also don't think "introverted" automatically means "shy". Quiet, maybe... but it definitely helps with observation... If I notice something that piques my interest (like, say - Scrabble - or a book I've read... or something someone says that I know about), I'll start talking.

Re: Introverted Writers

SassyCat — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 09:11:11 -0500

I'm a very introverted person. I've always been very shy and even though I have improved over the years I still find it difficult. My friends are very outgoing and I find after being out with them all the time, that I need solitude to get my energy back. I find going out to social places such as pubs and clubs the most difficult. I do enjoy having solitude because I can spend that time reading and writing.

Re: Introverted Writers

Saspirilla — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 09:42:35 -0500

I guess I'm an introvert. I'm fine with 2 or 3 people I know very well, but when there's more than 6 or 7, I go quiet unless asked specific questions because someone remembers that a) I'm sitting there or b) might know the answer to their complicated homework questions. Yeah, that happened at school. It was well known that I had speech problems at school and most people assumed I didn't talk much because I had problems talking and/or was shy. Then the bunch of geeky/nerdy misfits in my year clubbed together. We're still friends, but what with everybody at university (Immunology, Chemistry, Veterinary Medicine, Physics-Maths), we're all busy. I don't see much of that bunch now :( My family are a load of loudmouths. Christmas and birthdays are fun. There's 13 of us (was 14 until 3 weeks ago -RIP grandad) on my mum's side. I'm fine with two cousins or just my parents at one time, but the lot of us all together at once? My worst nightmare! I need time to recharge after that lot invade my home. My brother is very much extroverted whereas apparently I'm more like my dad's dad, a quiet man I never had the chance to meet. Actually, my dad's side of the family is more introverted, but they're spread out across the country whereas mum's folks all stay in the same 5 mile radius. Oh yay. It takes a while for me to become comfortable talking to someone. I need a shared interest, be it that we are studying the same topic or need to work together on a project. I got talking to someone I worked on a project with last year who's the kind of person I'd normally steer clear off, yet we were able to have a little chit-chat because she likes theatre. Was a bit surreal. Phones are the bane of my life. Having a hearing difficulty, a speech impairment and a horrible tendency to forget what I'm calling about makes booking appointments, rescheduling appointments that mum booked without consulting me about my timetable, finding out about job vacancies etc, very very difficult. I'm the last person in the house to run for the phone if it rings. Drives my parents up the wall. I work in a frozen food store. The first month was hard and frustrating. The assistant manager had never employed someone with a hearing loss before. She shouted at me a couple of times. Then I snapped (I'm usually patient, calm collected) and gave her a firm dressing down. She was completely shocked and hasn't done it again. If I hadn't been so angry at her sheer pig-headedness, her reaction would have been pretty funny. The other staff members gave me a round of applause. We actually get on pretty well now because she knows that if she gives me a list of jobs to do, they'll be done by the end of the day. She's also learned that even though I'm perfectly willing to accept responsibility for mistakes, I will stand up for myself when I've been wronged. Introverted I may be, but if someone is taking advantage or trying to pin something on me, be careful. I'm half ginger and not afraid to show it! Wow apologies for the long post.

Re: Introverted Writers

arnis1 — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 19:26:31 -0500

Also an introvert. I love reading about everyone's experiences. The problem with talking to people I don't know very well is that I need time to think about what they're saying and how to respond. I have a hard time giving my total focus to more than one thing at a time. So, if you're talking to me, in order for me to listen, I can't think about what to say until you're finished. Which then creates an awkward silence that makes it seem as if I'm dumb or incompetent. But actually I want to give the best answer I can and that means I need time to think about what was said, what I know, and the how to frame my reply. I want to be sure that people can understand with the least amount of words possible. So no one's time is wasted. (This is why I like being on-line or texting, I get to think before I speak for as long as necessary.) I think there's a huge difference between talking and communicating. I'm not good at just talking, but I am a communicator. (Something that people have told me they are very surprised at.) What I hate is when people equate "shy" or "quiet" with "has nothing to offer". It's not a fair assumption. I refuse to interrupt people while they're talking because I find it to be very rude when it's done to me. So, I don't get to speak very often in a group of extroverts (unless they have a specific question they want to ask). But I do enjoy watching other people's conversations. Studying other humans is fascinating. I like people, but they drain me. At the end of the day I need to be alone--just me doing whatever or nothing at all.

Re: Introverted Writers

kitandkat — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 21:39:11 -0500

I'm definitely an introvert. I don't know if I'm shy so much as I like having time to myself and I'm very independent. I have a few good friends that I like spending time with and am definitely a loudmouth around, but I would rather be by myself than with people I don't really care about. I've always been the type of person who likes having a few good friends than lots of acquaintances. And I need my time alone and I am good at entertaining myself, always have been. When I studied abroad I did most of my traveling alone and I actually preferred that. That being said, if I'm good friends with someone, I can be around them all day and not have a problem. One of my friends recently told me that she likes that when we hang out we can watch TV and go online and the other person doesn't care, haha. I think it's along those lines... if I'm spending a ton of time with someone, like living with them, I still need my own space within the relationship. We can't have the need to entertain each other all the time. I do want to eventually get married/settle down, but the comfortable silence/coexisting thing has to be able to happen ;) I actually like performing and leading groups. I don't go after performance hobbies, like I'm not in theatre or anything (I did do Model UN in high school), but I enjoy giving presentations in class and stuff like that. I'm not amazing at small talk if the other person isn't responsive, but due to various volunteer jobs (like with hospice) I've had tons of training in "empathetic communication" and I can turn that on pretty easily. It's kind-of like counselor-speak, haha. Along this line, I'm hopefully going to med school next year and I think I'll be okay at talking to people in that setting because of my volunteer work/training. Also. People can tend to think I'm a doormat because I'm a) short/"cute" and b) introverted/keep to myself. But I'm pretty much the opposite. I was not popular in high school, but I had this kind-of weird reputation where everyone knew who I was and respected me because they knew I didn't put up with crap. I can stand up for myself very loudly/firmly. People almost always act surprised which I think is hilarious.

Re: Introverted Writers

SVEllis — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 09:47:09 -0500

I don't know if I'm so much as introverted as I am just depressed/shy. I find it hard to talk to people because I think people will let me down...

Re: Introverted Writers

thelilacmuse — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 10:29:08 -0500

I LOVE people and feeling connected with people ... but I also find them so exhausting. I haven't spoken out loud to anyone but my kitten in about 48 hours and I'm comfortable with that. I frequently get accused of shyness (which is not so true anymore--I don't get nervous around strangers so much as just not know what to say to them) or rudeness or hating people. I'm like, no, I'm just in my head a lot and don't even notice that I'm not being friendly? This is the worst when roommates come into the equation. I had a bunch of roommates who thought I hated them when I was trying to be friendly and sweet. But then last year I lived with my best friend and, despite being best friends, we never spoke unless we a) had something we needed to discuss roommate-wise or b) actually WANTED to talk/hang out. BEST. SITUATION. EVER. This meant that we could easily go two or three days without seeing each other and then we'd be out with other friends and they'd be laughing at us for having no idea what the other one had been up to. Sorry, we're both just introverted people ...?

Re: Introverted Writers

mylifeonfire — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 15:21:40 -0500

I heart this thread!! I always got told I was shy, I identified as introverted, and as of a couple of years ago, I finally figured out what was going on with me: I'm on the Autism-spectrum. I wish I'd been diagnosed growing up, because once I trust someone I talk fast and a lot (the word ramble is often used). But I don't understand small talk, I have trouble talking to people in person, and people completely wear me out when I'm around them too much. For me, it's pretty bad because I do enjoy spending time with people I like, but I have an odd conversational style and 90% of the time people look at me like I'm speaking Latin, or they reply to everything I say in the exact opposite way of what I meant. I also tend to disappear for long stretches of time without realizing how long it's been-- I love online friends, but nobody sticks around when I don't email them for 6 months. I've gotten so used to having literally no friends, just my partner and his sister who lives with us, that I felt too weird about posting on the writing buddies page to actually do it. But this thread made me feel better, so here I am. I live in a city where most people believe the opposite of what I do, so I gave up looking for like-minded souls. I make bracelets for fun, love talking politics and have no interest in drugs or alcohol cuz I like to be fully aware of everything. The only social gatherings I attend are family-compelled, and there I sit with people who think the height of fun is drinking nonstop, silently watching tv, and discussing our sex lives. I feel really stuck because having no interaction with people is supposed to be really bad for me. But I feel like if I went to a book group, or writing group, or hang-out-in-the-park-and-make-bracelets group, the people there wouldn't understand why I avoid eye contact, or would find me too weird to interact with (happens a lot). On the flip side, if I went to a group of people whose brains work more like mine, I think that would be the only thing we'd have in common, and then what would we talk about anyhow? *shrugs* Now not really sure how to conclude this post. I am happy to have found this thread and shall continue to lurk through November (especially if I never meet anyone else in SLC doing NaNo). Thanks for existing!

Re: Introverted Writers

poppyseed — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 22:58:53 -0500

Holla atcha. Very introverted writer here. Contrary to popular opinion, it's an introverts world. Why? Because perception is reality. The mind creates reality. And those of us that spend a lot of time in our minds live in a much richer world. That's my opinion anyway. I am totally biased. Introverts unite.

Re: Introverted Writers

Ellebelle — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 23:50:01 -0500

Yay! I like this thread. I've always been somewhat introverted. I'm not necessarily shy but being social for an extended period of time wears me out. The only exception is close friends and immediate family; I enjoy being around them and never really get tired of it. After I graduated college most of my friends moved out of the area or got real jobs (I'm still unemployed) and I'm finding I'm just not very good at keeping in touch with them. But I don't necessarily mind it. Participating in various online discussion boards and the like more or less fills my need for social interaction while I'm stuck between college and career.

Re: Introverted Writers

bobo_the_bard — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 00:25:01 -0500

Yep. I am definitely an introvert. I am extremely awkward with any type of social interaction. Usually when someone talks to me I just have no idea what to say, and I end up going: O_O derp derp hwuh? ...and end up making an utter fool of myself. Through necessity, I've learned to speak better at work, and to get necessary tasks done. Those have certain rules, however. When it comes to casual social interaction, I am all at sea. I am terrified of crowds, especially ones where I don't know anyone, which is usually the case. Everyone stares at me. I am the wallflower who smiles and nods and tries not to be extremely embarrassed. Prolonged social interaction wearies me. After a while I just turn into a huge grouch. I can only ever be myself by myself. I need my solitude! I basically never leave my house except for things like work and school. :-D I just like doing things by myself. Small talk and social rules. I just don't get them. They make no sense. I HATE talking on the phone. I don't even like answering the phone. I am so much more comfortable online/texting/emailing! I spend a lot more time inside my own head than I do with other people. I enjoy being around people for a while (like soaking up the atmosphere in a coffee shop), but not People who don't know me think I'm quiet and boring. People with whom I'm comfortable find that I won't shut up. People who know me the best (a very very few people) know that I am utterly and completely insane. I find it very difficult to be myself around other people. I worry constantly about what people think of me. Even if I don't take part in them, I constantly observe the social interactions of those around me, and try to dissect them and analyze them completely. I don't give a crap about pop culture, but maybe that's just me. Name a popular conversational topic/famous person/latest famous song/etc. I won't know anything about it. I find it very difficult to have a conversation with someone who doesn't get me. If that's the case, there is much awkward silence and stilted small talk and smiling and nodding, and me asking general questions for which I don't even care about the answer, but I am just asking to fill the silence. Since most people aren't on the same wavelength as me, I soon wish that I was at home with a book. One thing that inevitably happens with longer conversations is that I start talking about the things I like, and people blink and stare at me like I'm an alien and then smile and nod uncomprehendingly, which makes me feel really embarrassed. I just find it very difficult to find some common ground with most people, which is why hanging out with people I don't know is often more painful than fun. It just drains me, and stresses me out. When they handed out the manual on social rules and having a conversation, I guess I got missed. :-D It's not that I hate people. If someone's on the same mental wavelength as me, then social interaction becomes an effortless pleasure, rather than an arduous chore, and then I come away from it feeling good at the end. @poppyseed Totally agree! I always wonder how anyone can stop pretending things. I know I never did. It must be so dull not to be able to entertain yourself with your thoughts!

Re: Introverted Writers

AmberNicole — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 03:39:22 -0500

My friends absolutely HATE how "shy" I am. I'm constantly being invited to huge get togethers and parties, and I keep shooting them down. I'm constantly getting yelled at because "I never do anything". Which is completely untrue. There is a HUGE difference between being a shy person and being an introverted person. I would much rather sit at home reading a book on a Friday night than going out and partying. And it also doesn't help that I hate socializing. I mean, I love meeting new people and making friends, but I hate the process it takes to get there. I'm a horrible conversationalist. People will try and talk to me and ask me questions, but I only manage to come up with one or two word answers. It's not that I don't like talking to people, it's just that for some reason I am always attracting the loud, quirky and out there people. That's basically how ALL of my friends are and the only people who try to talk to me. It's like, I'm tired of that stuff. I need a break from all the busy bodies for a while. So I'm very much glad to see that there are many many more people like me out there in the world. =]

Re: Introverted Writers

JustLie — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 09:38:30 -0500

Another introvert here. Someone asked whether it helped being an introvert as a writer; I've read somewhere that for writing one has to be an introvert/hermit, but for getting published and having your book sold one has to show extroversion. Anyway, I can't do crowds or multiple conversations well, much prefer one-on-one, and even then I'm often lost for words. More of a listener than a talker, always supposedly calm (my friends and even my brother think I never get angry; truth is I just don't show it unless extremely provoked). So glad I live on my own, just because I always worry about what other people think etc., although even now I'm thinking about my neighbours and not wanting to upset them with noise or anything. I guess you could say I'm hypersensitive as well as introverted, and shy. I usually (think I) know what other people are feeling or thinking, and use this to contemplate the possible consequences of everything I say and do before I make a move. In the end, that means I don't say or do much, run through entire conversations in my head before I make a phone call (which I hate doing to begin with) or start a conversation (although my 'script' never gets realised). While an active imagination works against me in these ways, it makes for killer plot developments.

Re: Introverted Writers

Rose-lynn — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 09:53:24 -0500

I get irritable around large groups of people and I get exhausted quickly if I feel like I'm alone in the crowd. When I'm around a group of friends, I generally feel energized, and I can deal with large groups if I'm with my friends. Most writers I know are introverted to some extent. My best friend and I get drained when we're around people for too long, and we like to have a little bit of time to ourselves each day--even when we're around each other. We usually get quiet, whip out a book or some paper and read or write.

Re: Introverted Writers

A.L. More — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 10:51:52 -0500

Definitely introverted here. I went to my kickoff party for my region and by the time I left, three hours later, I was about ready to go to bed I was so tired. I tried to explain the difference between extroverts and introverts to my boyfriend and he just looked at me like I was crazy :P

Re: Introverted Writers

rgroberts — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 18:42:54 -0500

Another introverted writer checking in here! I'm an odd one, because I'm in a profession owned by extroverts (I'm an officer in the Navy). But I'm definitely someone who needs my *me* time when I get home for the day, and writing is just perfect for that. I'm not exactly shy--I used to be painfully so but did manage to mostly get past it--but I am very much your classic introvert. Another odd thing is that I usually, I write characters who turn out to be extremely extroverted...but then again, I tend to have main characters that are male, when I'm definitely not. So, maybe I just enjoy the contradictions. :D

Re: Introverted Writers

novamae — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 20:15:30 -0500

i'm a introvert that has learned how to function like an extrovert if needed. it's possible i always was innately an extrovert, but given how i was brought up, was forced to be an introvert. not really sure, to be honest, but to this day i feel rejuvenated and more like 'myself' after spending time alone. i'm an only child, born to two very introverted parents. my parents moved away from their own families, had no (almost none - a phone call or a letter per year) contact with their families for most of my life, had no friends (literally, none. we never had guests over - unless they were my friends) and never went out, other than to acquire food, supplies, go to the library, go for a bike ride, etc. when they ended up going out, they would have chats with others, but never particularly sustained. (my dad was a teacher, so maybe he got all his socialization done during the work day. ma stayed at home and did whatever people do when they're home alone all day.) needless, the lack of people over at my house, the lack of siblings and cousins made me quite self-sufficient in terms of keeping myself company and not bored. my parents didn't really do stuff with me either (altho, they did take me to various swimming, horseback riding, etc. lessons) so i learned to play by myself, read by myself, draw by myself, and befriended the television. (the internet was my bestest friend when i turned 13 and acquired a computer). anyway - after years of being selective with friends and generally being very shy, i ended up going on a 10 day silent retreat (vipassana). on the day you are allowed to talk again (halfway thru day 9), i found myself walking alone back to my room. i noticed on my way, people forming in clusters to rejoice in being able to 'talk again'. i watched them, amused by their relief and joy in talking to one another. when i got back to my room, i sat down, and realized absolutely no one else was going to come back to the dorm. at that moment, something 'clicked', and i realized i could approach people and talk to them. i've been unafraid of others every since. but i still love my 'me' time, enjoy being meditative and self-reflective, and ultimately consider myself an introvert, despite feeling like i had a huge personality change after my vipassana experience.

Re: Introverted Writers

StacyRenee — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 21:44:48 -0500

I am also an introvert. I am the type of person that is perfectly okay with not having alot (or any) friends at all. I always thought that I was anti-social because I didn't fit in with people in general. It is so rare to find someone that you can have a comfortable silence with, that enjoys it as much as you do. I do everything better on my own. Even when I was a kid, I preferred to play by myself instead of with my siblings or neighbors. People are exhausting.

Re: Introverted Writers

Superstitions — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 21:59:38 -0500

I'm an introvert as well. I'm shy too, or at least I believe so. My most dreaded classes in school were speech classes. I'm terrified on having all eyes on me, and I'm a better conversationalist in writing rather than speaking. Oddly enough, I love acting. I'm just all nerves when it comes to auditions. I've always just had a few close friends. I hated having roommates (except for 1; she was amazing) when I was in college. I never was able to get enough time to myself, because my roommates were always extroverts who liked to have their friends over constantly or were in the room when I desperately wanted space to myself. My final semester when I had my own room was the greatest. I didn't even come out for meals sometimes. However, I always seemed to attract extroverts. The group I had lunch with the majority of the time was insane. I almost never talked. In fact, my husband was in this group, and he and his friend referred to me as 'hat girl' for awhile, because they didn't know my name (and I wore a lot of hats, obviously). I'm the most extroverted around my husband now. He knows me better than anybody else, even my family and closest friends. I hate phones. If there's a way for me to contact anybody through e-mail rather than calling, I'd rather them e-mail. Otherwise, I tend to put things off for far too long. I can connect with people if we have something in common however. I've often talked to people for ten or more minutes (which is a long conversation for me), because I connected to them somehow. I'm much better with one-on-one conversation than in a group. In fact, I often tried to see if I could do group projects alone by hoping that the professor wouldn't notice that I didn't join a group. It usually didn't work, and I was forced to join a small group or a group that took pity on me.

Re: Introverted Writers

Ariara — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 23:25:27 -0500

I definately fit the bill as well. Going out of the house is tough...especially when someone talks to me. I freeze up and have to force myself not to turn tail and run. The same goes for the phone. Its a very prohibitive problem. So, I like to pretend I'm on the phone or I talk to myself in public. (No, I'm really not too crazy!) It usually keeps the uncomfortable social situations at bay. :P

Re: Introverted Writers

Dragonfly & Firefly — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 10:59:08 -0500

I'm the same. Don't go out, hate phones, has to force myself to step outside my box, once in a while.. Plus, I've got a question. Do any of you find that being introverted interferes with being able to write? Particularly, character dialogue? I notice it's the one thing I hate writing, because I can't really do it. I know what my characters are thinking, but when it comes to what they say, it's the biggest mystery, because, I'm just not sure how to put it into words. Does anyone have the same problem?

Re: Introverted Writers

ishnite — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 13:14:24 -0500

I found out recently from my mom that when I was in elementary school, my teacher was worried about me because I wasn't socializing with the other kids. She was a very extroverted lady and thought everyone needed to be like her. She referred my mom to a psychologist and my mom, not believing anything was wrong with me, just decided why not just see what she had to say (and to make the teacher be quiet). The psychologist had me in a room to color and chat. Afterwards she told my mom "she is perfectly fine" that I was perfectly capable of conversing, that I am very smart and creative and that I am just content with being by myself. - I guess that is not common for girls that age but doesn't mean there was something wrong with me. I was pretty shy up till my late highschool years. It was a really hard battle to get out of the shyness (especially when you are labeled "shy"), but I've learned that it was accepting myself as an introvert and embracing who I am really helped me to be the person I am. I am still an introvert and I get tired when around a lot of social interactions and I need alone time once every so often, but I am a voluntarily forced extrovert because I'd rather get to know people now than always watch and wonder. I LOVE meaningful one on one conversations. And I love talking to fellow introverts because they usually have the greatest things to say!

Re: Introverted Writers

wombatrider — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 14:43:02 -0500

I'm definitely an introvert. Definitely. Friends are fickle, in my experience. Even friends-that-are-family-too. Even if I care a great deal about having the ones I love around me, I'm in utter heaven when they go out of the house for a few hours or a whole day or two. Peace, quiet… and no one expecting me to do or say one thing or another! Yay for no expectations!

Re: Introverted Writers

WileJ — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 20:54:40 -0500

I'm an introvert, but not to the extreme. After being a bit of a social pariah for three years, I realized my introvertedness is mostly to do with the fact I've always been a shy person who has an extreme dislike of conflict. That being said, I get ridiculously lonely if I don't have people around and would go through cycles of 'I hate people!'/'I love people!' Though, now that I've moved for grad school I find myself not so much in the cycle and have found a lovely balance. Still shy and tend to keep to myself, but the option of being with people is there. I'm not socially inept ... but I communicate better on paper in general, so being the observant sort who doesn't get totally wrapped up in everything around me is quite helpful.

Re: Introverted Writers

teacupslove — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 22:44:22 -0500

I think I've always been introverted (although I had a period where I was relatively extroverted for a year). I'd say that I am a quite introverted as people drain me easily but friends who drain me a little less. After too much contact and not enough time to recuperate, I get snappy and scatterbrained and irritated and fatigued. This is why I am so reluctant to apply for retail jobs even though I'd like to have a job as a source of income and I don't have enough experience for jobs where I can be left alone (or maybe I just haven't looked hard enough). And I am socially inept and thus, my networking skills are abysmal. My social life has also gone down the drain. It'd be nice to have someone to do things with. Oh well. I am much more sociable on the internet because I feel that there's less of an obligation for me to interact in a certain way. I'd say I'm pretty friendly and 'weird' but people who don't know me often perceive me as pleasant and not particularly interesting. I also tend to reveal more of myself on the internet (as is the case with most people, if not everyone) even though I am generally reserved in real life. I don't think the people I know in real life realise how moody I am but I could be wrong. I express myself much better in words and when I want to discuss something really important with someone and I can't bring myself to say it otherwise I will be an emotional mess, I often write a whole chunk of text and then hand it over them. okay the end of the story of my life introverts are gr8 extroverts are gr8 too, except for when they kill my battery life

Re: Introverted Writers

Inky16 — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 23:29:19 -0500

As many good introverts know, it is usually difficult to speak up when there is little to say. ;)

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youcrazything — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 16:23:50 -0500

I'm definitely an introvert. I've taken personality tests and I'm straight down the line introvert, not a single extrovert quality to me. I have a small social circle and function just fine socially, if not a little awkwardly. I agree on not doing well with small talk or feeling the need for it. I get annoyed when people confuse being introverted with social anxiety. My mother was always convinced I had that and needed some kind of help for it. I don't have panic attacks about talking to people, I just don't feel a strong desire to. I hate being the center of attention and really only enjoy talking to close friends and/or family. I enjoy writing because it is a way to express myself without going out there all "look at me, look at me!". I can express myself far better in writing than in speech anyhow.

Re: Introverted Writers

corporal34 — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 03:54:59 -0500

I'm both shy and introvertedlol, dammit if i'm going to do something i'm going to do it properly :D

Re: Introverted Writers

corporal34 — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 04:00:59 -0500

I'm both shy and introvertedlol, dammit if i'm going to do something i'm going to do it properly :D

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Days — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 05:34:13 -0500

Me too. As a kid I found it scary to talk to people, and I always wanted them to like me. And that was what was really killing me back then, that people might think that I'm weird because of my shyness. But now I'm okay with it, it's who I am, and I can enjoy the things I love, and I prefer being alone and do what I love, than to be with people i am not comfortable with. It's really great though to read from so many people with the same here. :)

Re: Introverted Writers

ForsakenOutlaw — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 12:29:09 -0500

Eh I don't want other people pushing their problems on me hoping from sagely advice so I keep mine to myself [also because it's just none of their business]. Sounds a bit dickish I know.

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Telamir — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 18:11:51 -0500

I'm an extroverted introvert. To explain: I socialize just fine with other oddballs like myself, but around the general public or people I sense aren't like me? Instant clam and discomfort.

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mutewitness — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 00:43:55 -0500

I have social anxiety, so yeah. I'm very introverted.

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ms_erupt — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 02:35:06 -0500

Introverts FTW! I, like many introverts, am drained by social interactions. That's not to say that I don't enjoy them, but it takes a lot of energy for me to do things like go to a party, attend a group meeting or even hang out with a few close friends and family. I need my space and lots of time alone, and I become noticeably irritated when my ideal balance of alone time to socializing time is upset in some way. Indeed, I become very irritated and edgy in large groups of people which is why I don't like shopping, amusement parks, and the like. I can do these things and sometimes even enjoy them like any other social interaction, but only for every short periods of time or with a lot of breaks. It's the same with people. I cannot hang out with anyone too long before I need a "breather" and time to just be alone. I'm not shy nor have I ever been shy, but I am very quiet and reserved around people that I don't know very well unless we're talking about something that gets me going. I tend to become very gregarious and chatty once I feel comfortable around a person. I'm also notoriously bad at "small talk" and HATE when people initiate small talk with me. I just don't see the reason for it, and I can never think of things to say. Then, I start to feel bad or worry that the person I'm talking with thinks I'm slighting them in some way because I prefer to sit quietly. Anyway, great thread. It was interesting reading the responses!

Re: Introverted Writers

Kalaith — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 04:56:40 -0500

Until I got my job as helpdesk (aka IT phone support) most people, including my family had never seen or heard me on a phone, I don't think many thought id ever handle a job. But work is work, you do what you must. I always thought it was just being shy, but one on one I have no problem, its only when multiple people get together that I become socially inept, that and as people said, small talk is not something I can get into, I just don't see the point of talking for the sake of talking.

Re: Introverted Writers

branflakes — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 20:09:12 -0500

I'm so introverted I don't even sit with my friends at lunch break at work. lol. I used to be way way shy back in high school, but I grew a bit less introverted as of late. Still really introverted, though. I hate going out to public places, I hate walking down a hall or sidewalk with other people walking without a place to get out of view for a while.

Re: Introverted Writers

Quicksilver_Wolf — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 04:22:18 -0600

I'm fine once a conversation is going... but few people actually talk to me. And I'm absolutely terrified of starting conversation. Lately I've been getting the shakes when I so much as think about being in unfamiliar places, talking to unfamiliar people. It's never this bad. I need to see my doctor about anti-anxiety meds, I think.

Re: Introverted Writers

Sam111111 — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 11:34:48 -0600

Me! It's odd, though. I like socializing, it's just draining. And sometimes I don't want to do it. I'm most comfortable writing/reading/typing behind a screen at home, lazing about, thinking. There's a lot of freedom in it.

Re: Introverted Writers

ishnite — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 12:13:27 -0600

Do any of you fellow introverts purposely avoid someone you know when you see them at a store or someplace, not because you dislike them in any way but just to avoid having to converse? I surprise myself when this happens. If that person went up to me first, it would be totally fine, but approaching them just seems so awkward. I think part of me thinks they won't recognize me for whatever reason. I wonder if others have this too or if I'm just weird. Haha.

Re: Introverted Writers

TheWoWExp — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 12:53:23 -0600

I'm the kind of person who doesn't like to socialize, which is kind of bad seeing as I work at two jobs that deal with people. One of them is okay, because I've got people I've known for a long time and enjoy speaking with. But put me with a new person and I just don't have anything to say. Small talk can be so annoying. The other job I deal with customers and by the end of the shift I always have a headache. Usually when company comes over I stay in my room. I'm content with being in the sanctuary of my room, doing my own thing, where nobody should be bothering me. I also despise talking on the phone. There will be long awkward pauses where nobody talks and I can't think of any words to continue a conversation. I've been known to fall asleep on the phone if it's late and they call.

Re: Introverted Writers

Wind Ann Wise — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 09:22:36 -0600

Growing up as an only child can be a dertermining factor in introvertedness.

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anaia — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 17:37:06 -0600

I'm pretty introverted, and selectively quiet. I have my close friends, who love to read and have things in common with me (my best friend is doing NaNoWriMo this year although I'm not), and then I have other friends who are my complete opposite. They talk a lot about parties and shopping and makeup, and I'm really not into that kind of thing so I don't involve myself much in their conversations. By and large I don't talk to people unless I find them interesting, so some people find me intimidating or think I don't like them because I never talked to them, but it's not like that...I don't know you, I doubt we have anything in common, I don't have anything to say to you, so why would I walk up to you and start a conversation? I can talk up a storm to my friends, if we're talking about something I have a view on, but otherwise I don't bother. Honestly, people in general just don't really interest me that much. I'm not sure whether I'm shy. I was very sociable as a child, but things happened and I pulled away from everyone and kept to myself almost totally at about thirteen. Through high school I had a few friends, but mostly people just thought I was weird because I'm not feminine, no skirts or heels or makeup except eyeliner, I seldom brush my hair, I don't party and dance, I'm not a social butterfly. It wasn't until university that I met some people who, even though they were popular, liked me just fine as I was and didn't care if I wore cargo pants and a T-shirt. Oh yeah, did I mention I'm a post-grad law student? In the Caribbean we follow the English system - a three-year university law degree followed by a two-year practicing certificate at a law school as a post-graduate qualification, then they call you to the bar and you practice. I'm in my first year at law school. We have a course called trial advocacy that's all about public speaking and making applications in court...fortunately in year one we do those in front of our tutorial groups of seventeen rather than our year group of two hundred and twenty-five...o_O But next year we have to hold mock trials where we represent fictitious clients, and as many people as can fit in the lecture theatre get to come and hear you conduct cross-examinations and opening and closing arguments and that sort of thing...law is not a good career for an introvert. Writing was my first love, but it's not a career until you're published and I'm not published. And archaeology, which was my second choice, was too far away and too expensive. So even though law does not interest me in the least and my temperament does not suit it at all, I'm here. Happily, I have a wonderful ability to look confident, even if inside I am so far from confident that it is not even a dot on the horizon.

Re: Introverted Writers

Sayaren — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 18:50:22 -0600

Waitressing was a nightmare for me. I was beyond nervous when I had to go up and take people's orders. I was so quiet when they were training me they actually forgot I was shadowing them to learn the ropes.

Re: Introverted Writers

Earthsick — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 07:04:28 -0600

After actually figuring out what being an introvert actually means: Yeah, me too. Especially the thing about talking in a group. I can't just seem to find stuff to tell other people, unless it's important. Or interesting. I guess that's why it's easier for me to ... write things down like in a forum. Or a chat room. Oh and by the way, I can actually talk to anyone. Be it on the street, asking for the way, even in a foreign country, no problems with that. I'm not shy. Also, being alone. I mostly crave for being alone after a long day. Every time I go on a vacation with my father (we're going to Portugal in April, lol) I always need some days off after that to adjust. While I love learning new things and seeing new things this just puts me under a lot of stress. Being together with other people for a long time is almost unbearable for me. /: I guess that's why I'm so glad that I could move out of my parents' house in 2009. Well, and other things. You know how this goes. (Btw, it works out pretty well being introvert and asexual ... lol)

Re: Introverted Writers

LAAVulpes — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 18:58:52 -0600

I actually hate having guests over. How bad is that? And all phones must die to me ... I just can't stand them! Ugh. I think one of my biggest problems is that I was raised where I could only leave the farm to go to school. I grew up sheltered beyond belief. But, as mentioned, it really helps with the writing. It's what set it off for me.... It's just now that things having to do with people have a tendency to .... well irritate me. lol

Re: Introverted Writers

DeliciousAmbiguity — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 19:36:05 -0600

I'm 100% with you on this one. I'm usually quiet, but my family and close friends (of which there are about four) know me as a pretty talkative person, so it can be difficult for them to realize that I'm just completely uncomfortable with forced social interactions.

Re: Introverted Writers

The TRuth of A CouRageous MotheR — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 21:55:20 -0500

Lol same here!

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Twilight Moon — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 21:06:44 -0600

[quote=rachelpea] ...It's only difficult because I feel like the world is built around the assumption that everyone is an extrovert and that spending time around people all the time is "normal". I'm glad to know there are a lot of us out there. [/quote] I agree with this. At my school, they're having a thing called "Networking for Introverts," and the way that they advertise it leaves me with the impression that the person or persons who put this "event" together thinks that all introverts are anti-social and can't network and they clam up the instant that they get into a roomful of people. This was offensive to me on a personal level, since I am a proud introvert, and while I don't dislike people (mostly), I tend to do better in a one-on-one or small group setting, versus being in a roomful of people.

Re: Introverted Writers

NyssaM — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 18:08:41 -0500

^ THIS. I can talk and talk but say absolutely nothing. My feelings, anything Real- I hate talking about it, I avoid it as often as possible, inviting the other person to talk more about themselves so I don't have to.

Re: Introverted Writers

quizzlebob — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 08:17:50 -0500

That was me when I started my job. Even saying "next in line" was terrifying to me. After a few years, it finally knocked the shyness out of me and now I babble away to customers like I actually want to talk to them.

Re: Introverted Writers

sarahlucielle — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 23:05:47 -0500

This is why I wished I had any experience other than retail because I'm job hunting now and that's pretty much all I'm qualified for. I really don't think I can take customer interaction again. But I might have to.

Re: Introverted Writers

awake — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 13:00:31 -0500

At the risk of making a really awkward statement, my therapist says he wouldn't classify me as social phobic per se, just extremely socially awkward. Your social skills deficient made me laugh and think of that. I'm glad it's not just me. I do that too though. Either I'm in the background just observing people or I'm getting bitchy because they're too close, too loud, too much and I just want them to back off a bit. And I can't very well stamp my foot and say that ;)

Re: Introverted Writers

fictionalboyfriend — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 18:02:28 -0500

I can relate to your first paragraph so very much. I can spend fourteen solid hours with my two closest friends and feel happy and energized, but stick me in a room with a terminally unimaginative person for half an hour and watch me wither into a snappy, grumpy, uncommunicative lump.

Re: Introverted Writers

fictionalboyfriend — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 18:03:37 -0500

Oh. Oh my goodness. I think you've just explained why my last relationship failed. (My boyfriend was not good at 'other people need alone time sometimes' either, and it didn't help that he was my neighbour...)

Re: Introverted Writers

awake — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 13:05:47 -0500

Exactly! I'm with you on both the phone thing and the ironic concert going. There's texting! And a wonderful thing called email....why are you still calling me? >.>

Re: Introverted Writers

gargoyle575 — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 13:27:08 -0500

I know what you mean about small talk! I've never figured it out, and my dad's been trying to get me used to it for ages. It's always felt like you're just passing the time with someone, and I'd rather just not have to speak to a stranger at all.

Re: Introverted Writers

40milliondaggers — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 14:06:50 -0500

Oh yes, this is me as well. I hate getting out of the house. I don't see my closest friends very often, and when we do get together I get so exhausted from their talking that I just want to run away. Right now I have a job that requires me to be social and talk on the phone a lot. I think I have improved my social skills at work, but it just feels like putting on a mask. It isn't me. When I get home I'm a grumpy mess that needs about 4 hours of quiet to get back to normal - and then it's bed time. Needless to say, I'm not going to do this job for the rest of my life.

Re: Introverted Writers

slightly.sketchy — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 09:47:17 -0500

The same thing happened to me. When I first worked in a small store, I had trouble even approaching people to ask them if they needed help. My managers were always pushing me to do more and it just made me angry with them and annoyed with the customers. When I switched to a bigger store, where the pressure was off to be a certain way, I began to find it easier to interact with people. I started there at the busiest time of the year, so it was basically customer after customer (and some of them were even celebrity customers), so my shyness melted away fast. The need to go home and not talk to anyone for while though, that did not melt. Working retail is very draining for anyone, but especially introverts.

Re: Introverted Writers

awake — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 12:53:18 -0500

I remember when I first started being intimidated by the amount of people and having to be like "Hey! Over here! I'll ring you up!" but that was almost 7 years ago. I'm not afraid anymore. Just weary. But I've had a lot of stuff going on so I guess I'm feeling a bit closer to the surface and more easily affected by other people's energy. For lack of a better term, that sounds so new-agey. My apologies.

Re: Introverted Writers

Kandiman — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 20:06:15 -0500

[quote=charleenlynette] Let's see . . . prefers solitude social skills deficient much more comfortable online than in person suspected (though never diagnosed) social anxiety physically and emotionally draining to be forced into social interaction[/quote] Describes me to an extent, too. Yet I've spent as much of my life performing in front of people as I have hiding away writing. I'm also pretty heavy-duty autistic. I had to teach myself (literally, from psychology and boy language text books) how to understand people enough to actually function in society. To this day, I'm still never sure what the hell it is people want from me, so I prefer to stay way from them when I can. As for the phone thing? Fuggedaboutit. I'll answer my phone to less than ten people: My bosses, my parents, my sisters and my best friend. Otherwise, three options: Text me, e-mail me or leave me alone.

Introverted Writers

The TRuth of A CouRageous MotheR — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 22:04:29 -0500

prefers solitude social skills deficient much more comfortable online than in person suspected social anxiety physically and emotionally draining to be forced into social interaction

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awake — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 12:55:26 -0500

@slightly.sketchy Wow reply fail on my part there. That's exactly it! The need to go home and not talk to anybody for awhile. My coworkers are always hey let's go to the movies, let's go out to dinner, and it's like a) I've just seen you for 8 hours and b) I just wanna go home and write for awhile. But that's the feeling I was trying to describe. Not shyness per se, just the need to get away from everyone for awhile and decompress. Also who is your icon, if you don't mind me asking? He looks a lot like a villain on a tv show I watch.

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boysloveboys — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 14:16:27 -0500

Good list. Haha. I should add some things on to it and pass it around to everyone I know.

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monquito — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 13:57:54 -0500

Your second paragraph describes me to a T. I have to say, that CBT helped me a lot with the "fear of the world" part. I still make my fiancé call to order take-out, but other than that I am much better. I used to be afraid to call for help with insurance or bills when I had to (this is dangerous and led to a lot of avoidance), to go grocery shopping, etc. Always been drawn to animals and vice verse, check! Another thing that was huge in helping me with the fear of world (I was at risk of becoming agoraphobic -- I defintiely have hermit tendencies and was getting to the point where even leaving the house for work was a little painful) was getting a dog! I HAVE to take him outside and walk around, or go to the park and talk to other dog people, etc. And I overcame all my fears basically out of loving him so much and wanting to make sure I meet all his needs.

Re: Introverted Writers

boysloveboys — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 14:20:52 -0500

I know! Isn't that messed up? Why is there something wrong with us? I feel like I'd have a lot less mental issues and self-image problems going into adulthood if it weren't for that fact. Nothing I ever do is acceptable to anyone else. It doesn't fit in with their way of seeing the world. Society is extroverted and if you're not then you're trash, basically. How many of us go through life feeling useless, broken, and unwanted? It makes me sick. :\

Re: Introverted Writers

lovely_sparkle — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 20:05:32 -0500

I agree with you that introverts aren't accepted by society at large. There are constantly people telling me to smile or telling me I'm quiet or telling me I need to talk more. They're bothered by the fact that I'm quiet and observant and I think it makes them nervous or something. Yet extroverts are never pressured in this way; no one ever says to them stop smiling or stop talking or stop interacting with people.

Re: Introverted Writers

keystrokegraffiti — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 08:57:31 -0500

Couldn't agree with y'all more on this one. Didn't realize I was an introvert until I started reading this >.> I'm a Parking Lot Attendant (lol cart pusher) for a grocery store chain down here in Texas. The managers allow us to wear one headphone and listen to music while we work, and while most of my coworkers walk around and talk to each other, I'm always the one with two headphones in my ear, not wanting to talk to anyone else. Sometimes I feel like it's anti-social, but I really enjoy listening to music while I'm working instead of talking to people that I'm honestly not interested in whatsoever. Glad to know I'm not alone :)

Re: Introverted Writers

slightly.sketchy — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 13:25:45 -0500

I feel you 100%! I always wanted to have that group of friends from work, but I could not get into going out after work, especially to a bar, to be among more people. So I ended up aligning myself with the more introverted types... unfortunately, sometimes places seem bereft of introverts, and then you just end up looking like the odd one out (that was my first retail job). And my icon is Gale Harold, an actor currently playing a villiany type character on The Secret Circle :) Which I'm guessing you watch. If that is the show you were referencing, I'm also watching it... I picked it up because of him, but I'm liking it in general. The picture and the quote (which is ironically appropriate for this discussion!) are from a TV show called Queer as Folk that he starred in a few years back.

Re: Introverted Writers

Mistress Aeryn — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 22:14:43 -0500

Email and texting are probably the only two reasons I still have a mobile phone. When I move out of home I don't intend to have a landline so my mobile will take its place, but even then it'll only be used when I absolutely have to. If my phone didn't have texting and email functions I'd throw it away tomorrow.

Re: Introverted Writers

awake — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 20:00:30 -0500

I don't mind being the odd one out most of the time. And yes! I'll admit it. It was the Secret Circle. I had a friend gushing to me about him on QaF and why she was watching tsc too. Apparently I missed out.

Re: Introverted Writers

Beyond the Event_Horizon — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 20:56:49 -0500

I can relate with your last paragraph. I feel like I can't create credible characters because I don't know enough about people. All I know for sure is what I think and what I feel, but if I only rely on myself to create characters, they will all eventually act and sound the same. Observing others helps but only in describing mannerisms and body movements, not really internal emotions. I usually wait for a person to talk to me, but since they see me as a shy person who keeps to herself, they don't really approach me. I know that observing others isn't enough; I have to interact with them and form friendships to really have a good source for my writing when it comes to creating characters. If only . . .

Re: Introverted Writers

harmonyturtle28 — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 13:17:10 -0500

You both pretty much summed it up. I've had those things said to me. For a while I allowed it to make me feel weird, and even unwanted. I was called weird because I was quiet. Whenever I tried forcing myself to act like an extrovert it was so stressful, because it wasn't me! I believe I now accept myself as I am more now, and I know that I shouldn't surround myself with people who try to get me to change. It just shows they don't care enough to understand why I am who I am.

Re: Introverted Writers

wintertulip — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 05:09:46 -0500

I feel like this too. All my characters are either manifestations of me, or two dimensional. I don't think I understand people well enough to be a writer.

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DuraKaN — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 06:43:59 -0500

Yeah, I can relate to this... I don't even try to create proper characters anymore. Fortunately, I write humour, so it's perfectly legitimate for me to make my characters totally bizarre and unrealistic. For example, my first NaNo was set in a mental institution and all of the characters were insane. That was quite fun! :D So yeah, perhaps the solution is to have characters that are deliberately unreal. Exaggerate traits, or make them psychopaths, or something like that. Warp their poor little minds out of shape. >:D

Re: Introverted Writers

thelilacmuse — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 10:16:48 -0500

[quote=wintertulip] I recently dropped out of a phd program because I couldn't handle the fact that I was supposed to have regular meetings with my supervisor, and because having isolated myself from all my peers, I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to be doing. I'm now working from home and much happier. [/quote] Nobody gets why it's so terrifying to me to have to go talk to my grad school professors all the time! I'm doing it, but some days it's almost enough to make me want to drop out.

Re: Introverted Writers

Beyond the Event_Horizon — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 16:37:55 -0500

I like your idea of creating characters that are "deliberately unreal." It sounds like it would be a lot of fun just to make characters crazy and wacky and not have to worry about making them seem credible in a normal sort of way.

Re: Introverted Writers

monquito — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 14:00:40 -0500

I was voted shyest too! But I have a theory that the ACTUAL shyest person in any given class won't even be on people's radar enough for them to think of nominating the person.

Re: Introverted Writers

boysloveboys — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 13:50:04 -0500

I accept myself too now that I understand myself more, though I do have some moments where I feel really bummed about the whole thing. It's hard not to. I think most introverts get to a certain age and realize this. Not to be dramatic and morbid, but I wonder how many don't reach that age because of the problems their introversion brings. :\

Re: Introverted Writers

restlesslilly — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 14:15:56 -0500

Same. My characters are normally very outgoing/bubbly/good with people/etc....then sometimes I'll add in more introverted side characters who are annoyed at my MC's social outgoing behavior.

Re: Introverted Writers

restlesslilly — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 14:12:49 -0500

That's true. There was another girl in my class I thought would win it, I think she was truly the shyest. I swear I never heard her speak more than twice.

Re: Introverted Writers

Beyond the Event_Horizon — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 16:04:05 -0500

I will at least make one character very outgoing who helps bring out the best of an introverted character. If all the characters were introverted, I don't think strong relationships/friendships would form at all. But it is fun creating a character who is great with other people, even though the character is my complete opposite.

Re: Introverted Writers

CloseSesame — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 18:13:17 -0500

I often think when people say they are bored, they really mean they are boring! I have so many different things I want to pursue and do ALL THE TIME and I never really get bored, only tired and unable to focus. There's just so much to do and learn and experience in the world and most people I know who say this have an internet connection - that gives you access to practically the whole world! No idea if it's an extrovert/introvert thing but maybe it is because they feel they need stimulation from someone else to enjoy an experience, whereas introverts can happily pursue things alone? Who knows.

Re: Introverted Writers

mylifeonfire — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 15:39:00 -0500

I totally agree that I take things slower. I have trouble keeping up sometimes (I have to avoid certain situations with people who seem to realize that if they try to get a response really quick, they can force me into situations because I don't have the time I need to formulate a response). I stay pretty calm, pretty sort of always "okay" and I am in my head most of the time as well. I also have a fear of talking because most people don't seem to understand my meaning even though I'm using English words. I used to complain of boredom constantly as a child (but I think I had some form of ADD then) but now I always have so many projects I can pick up at any time, the closest I get to boredom is feeling restless, when I feel like I want to do something I actually am unable to do (like travel). I don't understand people who need to go out to have fun, though.

Re: Introverted Writers

mylifeonfire — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 15:28:03 -0500

I was thrilled to see your post, as my experience has been similar. No one knew what autistic was when I was growing up, so I had to do my best with family and school. (I used television for conversational rules and books for understanding other people, though I didn't realize that's what I was doing at the time.) I was just "odd", or "shy" and in the end pretty comfortable on my own. I have terrible phone avoidance. I want everyone to leave a message explaining what they want from me before I call them back, or I don't generally answer. I'm going into sociology 'cause people fascinate me but I don't want to have to get too close. Anyhow, just wanted to say hello and that it made my day to see I wasn't the only one here whose brains works differently. (I've actually never interacted with anyone else on the Spectrum that I know of, so I enjoy these little things more than I probly should.)

Re: Introverted Writers

Eunoia — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 09:55:28 -0500

[quote=arnis1]What I hate is when people equate "shy" or "quiet" with "has nothing to offer". It's not a fair assumption. [/quote] Agreed. Also, someone when I was at school was like 'you don't talk therefore you don't have feelings'. Yeah, of course. :/

Re: Introverted Writers

kitandkat — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 21:44:47 -0500

Thought of something else. I think my FMC is an outgoing introvert. She is quick to jump into conversations with people and can act a bit silly; she's definitely not shy. But at the end of the day, she's very private and enjoys solitary hobbies and only has a few good friends.

Re: Introverted Writers

boysloveboys — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 14:13:48 -0500

If someone said that horrible BS to me, I'd punch them in the mouth. "You're not talking now. Guess you can't feel that, can you?" •___•

Re: Introverted Writers

Eunoia — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 15:35:28 -0500

Man, I wish I had. I didn't have the guts though.

Re: Introverted Writers

WileJ — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 20:56:42 -0500

I don't have the facts to back this up, but phone avoidance is really common these days because of the internet and the constant connectivity. I know a number of people who either want to be dealt with directly in person or over email and not on the phone because they see it as an annoyance and waste of their time.

Re: Introverted Writers

rachelynn — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 19:27:25 -0500

I used to complain a lot about being bored when I was a kid too! I almost never experience boredom now and if I do, it's like that, more of a restless feeling (or tired, unable to focus like CloseSesame said) but it goes away eventually. There's always something to do! Not enough time!

Re: Introverted Writers

mylifeonfire — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 23:06:47 -0500

I totally agree! I added you as a writing buddy 'cause you're awesome.

Re: Introverted Writers

StacyRenee — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 21:52:53 -0500

My libraries Kick-Off was also pretty excruciating! I was the first person there and couldn't bring myself to introduce myself to the speakers so I just sat down and waited until about ten other people arrived and the talking began. One of the speakers had us fill out plot sheets and read them aloud and, of course, I was the last person to speak (and I had to force myself to do so because I had a question) and then I couldn't get out exactly what I wanted to say. I've never been good with public speaking so my face was red and I felt so out of place. I was ready to high-tail it out of there before it was even over! It's actually been years since I've been part of any 'group' of people like that.

Re: Introverted Writers

corporal34 — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 03:56:25 -0500

I'm the same :D I get the phone out or i put my earphones in so people can't talk to me.

Re: Introverted Writers

ishnite — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 13:17:42 -0500

I found that it wasn't too hard for me to write dialogue. I read a lot and day dreamed a lot. I would have imaginary conversations with my characters (not sure I really want to admit this, haha). The best way for me to write dialogue is not not think about it. Usually it will come to me randomly like when I'm cooking, or walking to my car. Or if I start writing and just let what comes to mind first go down on paper - fast like a real conversation. Then I'll go back to it.

Re: Introverted Writers

corporal34 — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 09:33:37 -0500

High five!

Re: Introverted Writers

Saspirilla — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 09:03:14 -0500

I posted a wall of text earlier in the thread... but your post is exactly what I was trying to say!

Re: Introverted Writers

Days — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 16:53:44 -0500

I can really see myself in the first 4 lines you wrote. And also I have sometimes trouble finding things to say when people are having small talk. Which mostly ends up with a lot of awkward silences.

Re: Introverted Writers

ishnite — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 12:08:44 -0600

I am so with you on the "small talk". I really hate it, I feel like its a waste of energy to do the "how are you?" "Good, how are you" "good" "thats nice". It's aways the same and it doesn't get anywhere. Since I know its considered polite, I partake in it but try to make it more interesting by asking questions people don't normally get asked. Sometimes this can work in breaking the "small talk syndrome" but lots of times it can cut it cold when the other person doesn't really care about conversing but was just trying to be polite. Why bother? I simple "hi" would have been just fine.

Re: Introverted Writers

ms_erupt — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 23:35:33 -0500

Oh yes, the dreaded awkward silence. I hate that and will go out of my way to try and keep people I don't know or don't know well from initiating conversations with me just to avoid it. This is why I frequently have my ear phones on or my nose in a book.

Re: Introverted Writers

TheWoWExp — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 12:56:37 -0600

I'm the same way. If someone I know sees me and comes over to talk, it's all good, because they're starting the conversation. However, I probably won't make my way over to them. When my niece was dropped off at the babysitters (who babysat me when I was younger; she lives a few houses down), I sat in the car because I hate going into someone's house unless actually invited in, just to have an awkward conversation on how life's going because I hadn't seen her in so long. But she came out of the house and scolded me for never coming in to visit, lol. Argh, embarrassed by a past babysitter.

Re: Introverted Writers

Earthsick — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 07:05:24 -0600

Woah, yes. I always do that when I see my neighbour at the tramway station. I don't want to talk. But mostly it's because she's smoking. D: