Unsent Letters

We had this thread last year so I wanted to post it again. It's a nice stress reliever. :) I don't have a letter to write at the moment, but I'm sure I'll be back. >___

Dear Local Internet Provider,

Honestly. The problem with our internet is NOT on our end--we reset everything a bazillion times, and it still doesn't work. It would be nice if we could keep up on our schoolwork without calling a technician every three hours. We'd like it if you came out and fixed it.

No thanks to you,

A Very Aggravated Customer

Dear head,

Please don't wake me up at 2:00 in the afternoon EVER AGAIN. While I like sleeping in, I do have things that need to get done.

Annoyed,

Michael

Dear Mum,
Yes I listen to music and yes I will sometimes put make up. I'm a teenager for crying out loud- I will do stuff like that. A small bit of mascara on does not classify as sluttish. You should see the people in my school who walk around caked in the stuff. I honestly don't care that I can't iron or wash the clothes even though I'm 15 because I will pick it up in time. That doesn't mean you should nag and compare me to others- it doesn't help my self confidence. Also, whilst we're on the topic of nagging do you think you could stop telling me that I should be a doctor. I want to be a journalist- not a doctor. It's my life, not yours so stop trying to sway me. You're constantly interfering with my life now, but where were you when I needed you? When I hit puberty, I had no idea what was going on and you didn't explain and when I got sexually assaulted by your uncle you did not help, even though you heard me screaming from nightmares. Then when I asked if I could go see a doctor because of my nightmares you plainly said and I quote "what can a doctor do? Tell me, how can they help you?" They can blooming help a lot! I was thirteen mother and I got molested by your uncle. Do you not understand how that can mess someone's life up? Granted, I moved on from it but two years later and I still can't have a family member that is male hugging me without freezing up. Do you know what it's like to feel helpless and afraid, with no one to talk to? I don't think you do. I saw your face when my auntie told you I got sexually assaulted by your uncle and it was disgust, but it wasn't disgust at him oh no it was disgust at me. Like I was supposed to prophesy that that would happen. Yes I was naive, stupid and foolish but my brain shut down. I couldn't help it. It wasn't my fault. You may clothe me, and feed me, and give me shelter and money but you don't do anything else that a mother should do. I grew up independently on my own two feet. I suffer from illnesses and yes you take me to hospital, but you complain about it all the time and think I enjoy being in the hospital. Newsflash: I don't. I was premature and I was in the hospital day in day out until I was seven years old, and maybe you gave me love then but all I can remember is your irritated face when I asked you to stay with me in the hospital when I was five years old. Five years old. I remember you shouting at me, hitting me, but never playing with me. Fifteen years and you are still a stranger to me. I can go to other people but I can never go to you. Just stop with the nagging, because after the way you've treated me you have no blooming right.

The person who is actually your daughter,
Sonia

Dear Self,

1 a.m. is not a good time to be shooting plot ideas at me. I am usually trying to sleep. 6 a.m. is also not a good time to wake me up. I enjoy my sleep, thank you very much. Functioning on five hours of sleep is not what I do best.

Me

Dear Mom,
Start taking your pills.

Vicky.

Dear plot,

Could you just make yourself so I can write you out in November?

-Ashley

Dear Physics.

I hate you. I hope I do well enough in 4 hours time to never need to touch you again. I hate you that much.

And I didn't go and look at the model answers. I don't care either.

Lec

-----

Dear Self,

I hope you aren't feeling regret right now. It's too late for it now.

Love,
Lec

Dear Evil Classmates,

I'm sorry.

There, that should make up for what I did. What was it, again? I had a private conversation with my friend while we were all of us goofing off. Well, I must just be a freak with a vendetta against y'all. Duh.

And how could you possibly know I said you were stupid? Look, I didn't mean anything by it. Everyone's stupid sometimes. I learned this stuff last year, and occasionally I get frustrated when I'm not challenged. But there's a bigger problem than that.

You took my notebook, you put brackets around certain paragraphs that mentioned you, and then you gave it back to me without even apologizing. If you had owned up I might have been able to forgive you. But you didn't. There was some really private stuff in there. Stuff I didn't even tell my One Real Friend. Sure, there was some stuff about you guys, but what you did was just malicious.

You've destroyed any trust I had in you people. I don't think I can forgive that. I'm going to passive-aggressively guilt trip you so hard you'll think you're on acid. (Or more likely not, because I am a shy girl who can barely work up the courage to talk to you people.)

Love,

Me

––––––

Dear Internet Connection,

*rages*

Hugs and Kisses.

hey, you

i'm a complete idiot. and it's hilarious because i thought you were the idiot all those years when it's really me.
i'm sorry. but maybe you should feel sorry for making me feel sorry.
maybe you should feel sorry for existing.
maybe i should.
maybe i should be drunk right now.
i thought i stopped writing letters to you.
i'm sorry for that too.
whoops.

love, me

Dear D,
Wow, I'm so glad we had that interesting conversation. Writing is beautiful, and I'm glad I got to share that with you. I can't wait to meet you in real life, dude, we have to meet! I'm so happy for you and your gf. I know sometimes it might sound like I like you. I don't, I just talk that way, without meaning too.
You inspire me.
With much love,
Elizabeth.

Love,
Have confidence in the fact I'm not going anywhere and in yourself. You have to stop beating yourself up over everything. I'm here to help but you have to understand I can't always be by your side. You know everything you say about yourself is a lie so quit saying it. You're strong, you just have to start believing in yourself.
PS: please don't have a mental breakdown when I'm behind in word count in November...I know you can't help it but it would be nice to avoid that occurance.
Love always,
Lil

Dear G,

I just want to say you've made my nights brighter, and more bearable. You've been a great boon to me when I've been studying and your conversations make my nights when you are feeling chatty. I wish I could tell you how I actually felt, and I really hope you feel the same way, but I'm just happy that we're friends and I just don't want to ruin this.

Love,
Lec

Dear French horn,

Go practice yourself. I'm plotting, procrastinating, and writing piano music. Earn the studio grades for yourself for now. I will love your shiny silver self in December, and not a moment sooner!

Love,
Music major wanting to do NaNo again

Dear Brain,

Seriously, go die in a fire, you troll. It's the holidays, and I do not want to be woken up at 6:30 am like it's a school day. It doesn't put me in a good mood for plotting or studying.

Sincerely,

Body.

Misheard_Whisper,

Dear High School,

These projects are killing me. Give me something that's due tomorrow, not due in two weeks, so that I don't have time to procrastinate. I'm serious. Not being sarcastic.

~Enigma

Dear self,
How long do you think you can keep doing this? Facades don't last forever, and you don't have the skills to convince EVERYONE that everything's okay all the time. And you're killing yourself by not sleeping, eating, living, etc. Do you really think you can keep doing this?
running out of time,
kitty

Dear AP Bio teacher,
I understand that you'd like to kill me for not understanding certain topics. I apologize. But perhaps, you realize, it would actually be worse punishment to keep me alive and let me survive your class for the whole year.
--your student

Dear Mom and Dad,
Please, please please, don't make me sit down and talk about my grades with you. I know I'm a little shaky right now, but just let me get it figured out! I don't need help from you guys, I need you to get off my back and let me work! Gahh...geez. You guys get more and more annoying every day. Just leave me alone! By the time I get home from school I really don't have the energy or desire to answer questions like "how was your day?" and "did you have fun?" It's hard enough to fake it when you guys keep asking questions. I'll get this all figured out on my own, I promise. Just give me some space and some time.
--your daughter

Dear M,
I'm sorry, but, you brought all this on yourself. I'm sick of putting up with you and your stupid drama all the time, when you don't even listen when I'm screaming for help. You're good, and you're nice, but you're also stupid and young and you have a lot of growing up to do. Get real. This isn't a Taylor Swift song, this is life, and you can't expect every boy you fall in love with to be the "one".
--kitty
P.S. Oh, and about homecoming...i'm sorry you didn't get to go. I really am. But the fact of the matter is that you COULD have gone, if you really wanted to. So quit whining about it. The only reason you even care so much is because you just want to be popular, isn't it? Because you want to show off to all your "friends" that you're old enough and "big" enough to go to a high school dance? Yeah. That's what I thought. Thanks for nothing.

Dear guy-who-pretended-to-be-my-boyfriend-for-a-day,
Bwuahahahahahahahahahaha. Thank you. That whole thing really made my week better. And you're so nice! How come you can be so nice when you do so many bad things??? It's confusing me. But I guess there's good in everyone. Thanks for helping me see that.
--kitty
P.S. stop asking for help on homework so much! :P

Dear K,
I am so, so, so sorry. I guess you don't know that i'm traumatized to hear about this, too. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through, but I want you to know that I'm here for you, and I always will be. You're one of my closest girl friends and even though this is going to be a really tough few months for you, I support you 110% on whatever you decide to do. Please don't ever feel like you're not worth it. You are beautiful and smart and you still have your whole life ahead of you.
Lots and lots of love,
kitty

Dear G,
Thanks for ignoring me everytime you see me in the hallway. It's not like we grew up together or anything.
--kitty
P.S. Get better soon! You have no idea how much I worry about you sometimes.

Dear D,
Why, why, WHY???!???!??!?? Ugh...as if my life wasn't complicated enough, you HAD to go and make me fall for you. Again. Why do you have to be so amazing when I know that our relationship would never ever work out in a million years? What do you think of me as, anyways? Actually, don't answer that question. I don't really want to know.
Anyways, thanks for being the one person I can count on, the one person I can talk to about all my problems. You actually get it, unlike most everyone else I know. You're an amazing guy and some girl is gonna be really lucky to have you someday. Too bad it won't be me. :(
--kitty
P.S. I love you.

My dearest T,

We're further apart than ever and yet I still think about you all of the time. A part of me will always love you. Even though you were never mine, there's still a bit of me that never stops wishing that one day you might be. You always seem to find your way back to me and I'm wishing on every star that you do, soon, because I miss you more than you could ever know.

All my love, always.
Ellz.

Dear H,

I fell. I fell so hard. Yet now, I'm now, I'm not so sure.

Yes things were fun and flirty and I really enjoyed it all. It made me come alive but the fact that you could never commit just played on my mind. Then there's the drink. You're a completely different person when you've had booze and I can't handle it. You drink so often it scares me and now I'm finding it hard to talk to you at all.

I'm sorry I'm not stronger,
Me.

Dear Self,

Ok.
Breathe.
Walk: left, right, left, right.
Relax. Do not frown or glare. Chin up. Unclench fists.
Can you smile? No? Ok; just don't cry. Tears are evil. Crying will make it worse.
Breathe: in, out, in, out.
Regulate the anger.
Someone said hello: reply. Good. You held a conversation.
Keep watching out for people. There are some you want to avoid.
Now, recite:
"I am not crap. You are wrong, music teacher: I am not useless, incompetent, dumb. I am a good person. The fact that I currently am unable to complete the work to your satisfaction does not mean I am not clever. My work is right; I will not change it.
"Consider briefly how it is for me, teacher: My parents have separated. My father and his girlfriend spend the whole time I am there making innuendos that I could really do without hearing. My mother is not my mother. She is merely a person who provides for my physical needs.
"I finally have an ounce of respect from a few people in school. I worked a long time for that, and I cannot let the façade drop now. I cannot be seen to need help or get something wrong.
"I am still working through the aftermath of being abused half my lifetime ago. I have to act naturally around my brother whenever I see him, never knowing if he remembers, if he is sorry for what he did.
"Every second I live I am at risk of failing. I am at risk of screaming, of crying, of throwing something, of running away. Of showing signs of anger, be they as small as a clenched fist. Of not smiling at a person; why did I ever make that habit, for it makes things harder now. How was I ever in the position to make it, either? I am at risk of letting through a tear, a tremor in my voice, a single sentance that reveals my feelings of myself.
"I consider myself worthless. I can never be good enough. I never know what to say or do; I am incompetent. I am stupid, stupid, stupid. I can never be the best, the first, the fastest. I am just an actor with no true person. It is surely better never to be born than to live like this. I am empty. There is no purpose to my existance.
"I want to cut myself: physical pain is easier. Perhaps I would be noticed– No. Do not kid yourself, Elizabeth. There are none who care about you.
"Can you see, teacher? Can you see what you brought to the surface? I had become so good at repressing it. You cannot know the pain it causes to hear from someone else's mouth the thoughts that plague yourself, that you hoped were a lie.
"Maybe it would be better if I just ended it all."
Keep watching out for people. There are some you want to avoid.
Someone said hello: reply. Good. You held a conversation.
Regulate the anger.
Breathe: in, out, in, out.
Can you smile? No? Ok; just don't cry. Tears are evil. Crying will make it worse.
Relax. Do not frown or glare. Chin up. Unclench fists.
Walk: left, right, left, right.
Breathe.
Ok.

~Self.