We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 23:15:57 +0100

Hiya! We had this last year, and then it kind of . . . died. Like, *POOF!* So yeah. Figured I'd bring it back on the shiny new forums!! Hi, I'm Leah. Bipolar, OCD, PTSD, and Trich. What brand of crazy are you? We're (The ones here last year) are pretty awesome, if I do say so myself. And I do. (And so do I.) SO. Yeah. And. Yeah.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Peeled_Banana — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 03:14:06 +0100

I just have mild Asperger's. xD I made my own thread about that.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

yaniguchi — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 03:59:13 +0100

This is definitely a cool thread! Hello, peeps~ I have OCD and Trich. For the longest time, I thought my trich was just a really bad nervous habit, and that I was the only one with it, haha. It actually wasn't until high school that I discovered what it was!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Squaggle — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 04:07:24 +0100

I have PTSD, too! And the very pleasant depression and general anxiety that goes along with it. This is the first time I've met another teen with it :) The flashbacks are a lot better now that I'm on medicine for it... Now I just have to deal with the bouts of depression and triggering. Other than that, though, I don't have any major "problems". Unless you count sensory issues/overload.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

aftersh0cks — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 04:22:58 +0100

Hi! I'm Jess. I have ADHD and Aperger's, as well as self-diagnosed social anxity.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 04:23:32 +0100

SEE, LEAH? SEE? I told you we weren't the only crazies 'round these parts, but do you listen? Nah. BBT knows all. Yeah, so... Theycallmealice knows me. For those of you who aren't BBT, I am Sami: Manic Depressive (not sure which type, most likely I), PTSD, severe-ish separation anxiety, gaping abandonment issues, and recovering self harmer! Also, Synesthesia. But that doesn't make me crazy. Just awesome. Hai folks!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

.the.blue.dinosaur. — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 04:24:43 +0100

Why, hello, all. :) I've got mild PTSD and anxiety that goes along with that. I'm not on any medication for it (yet) but I'm seeing a psychologist to "figure out what's wrong". To be honest, the anxiety's worse by a mile, but I do still have flashbacks on occasion. It was worse when I was younger, it's gotten better.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

MutantCanuck — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 04:27:11 +0100

Ditto, but who cares? Insanity makes everything more interesting. :3

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

NerdlyLindsey — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 04:36:05 +0100

On the last ACT, one of the reading passages was on Synesthesia and I think it's the coolest thing. It blows my mind how interesting it is. Sometimes I just randomly google synesthesia and just read about it. (Sorry, if I'm way too forward about things, I'm not go in social situations, even if it's via internets!)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

NerdlyLindsey — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 04:46:04 +0100

I used to have PMDD which is like super bad, overly hormonal periods which were so bad that I started taking antidepressants. But, I kind of weened myself off of them because everyone was freaking me out that I was going to get addicted to them. I also have an undiagnosed social anxiety but I just deal with it myself because 'everyone is socially awkward these days'. But the worst part of it is that I defiantly have a telephone anxiety/telephobia, its so bad that I won't even call my grandparents for their birthdays because I get was to nervous! I don't know if this counts but I like 95% sure that I have dyslexia or some sort of reading disability. But, nobody takes me Siriusly enough to get me checked out and because I'm in all honors and AP classes and I like to read. So excuse my spelling and grammar! So... yeah...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Artificial Asian — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 04:52:09 +0100

Hey guys :) I've got Avoidant Personality Disorder. Which basically means I'm just about the most shy person you'll ever meet. Took me a long time to get up the nerve to post on these forums at all, actually... x) And of course, because of the AvPD, I don't want to tell anyone I've got AvPD in order to get help with it, so... that's kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy sort of thing... >_>

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Artaxiad Prescott — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 05:46:58 +0100

Major depression :V In the especially annoying form that I was very, very creative and productive before meds -- and also wanted to die. Dammit.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

xoxwhoaxox — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 06:06:00 +0100

Hey, so I'm Danielle. I have General Anxiety Disorder, along with the ADD and fluctuating OCD that goes along with it. Because of all three of those things, I tend to be really disorganised, and very hyperactive. The OCD part isn't necessarily that bad; I don't have any noticeable rituals or anything that is super obvious. Just the odd feeling of everything needing to be symmetrical, though it used to go on for an hour or two at a time every six or so months when I was little... it's kind've been on non-stop since the end of August. I've been fighting it, holding on tightly to the bottom of my coffee cup when I go into a store and feel the need to grab at everything in sight with both hands, or digging my finger nails into my palms. I only managed to see my psychiatrist last week to tell him about the heightened OCD symptoms, and I had to have my medication dose upped because of it. I'm on Fluoxetine (aka Prozac), which isn't necessarily all that bad. I don't feel any different when I'm on it, so I'm not actually sure it's working. But my mom says that I seem different when I'm on it, so maybe it is. But, yeah. That's some of my cross to bear. I have a few other physical things going on, too. But that's pretty much all I've got going on up, mental wise.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Lectin Gaezat — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 06:12:12 +0100

@Graverobber: Synesthesia? Me too! -fives- Erm... Lec. Recovering from depression, bulimia (and anorexia... I shift) and anxiety disorders. I think I suffer from dissociative amnesia, but I've never bothered to go and ask my psych about it. And I'm probably permanently stuck with self-harming, but that's fine by me. I just try to minimize the damage.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

OceanEyes — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 06:28:11 +0100

I'm Erin. I haven't quite been "diagnosed" with chronic depression, but I know it's there. In middle school I contemplated suicide a few times and depend on my relationships with other people way too much for my own good. If there isn't someone I can rely on 100% of the time, I won't be happy. I can't be happy all on my own. ANYWAY. I'm glad I'm not the only one dealing with things like this. It helps a lot knowing the issues everyone has. If anyone wants to be my buddy, I'd love you forever :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Doris_Delorea — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 07:42:07 +0100

Lani. College student. Obsessive compulsive. I'm a total germaphobe and a compulsive hand washer. I suspect there is something going on besides the OCD, too, but that's the main thing. Oh. And the OCD makes me want to study constantly. Which should make Nano interesting.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Mother Lucifer — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 09:57:01 +0100

I'm Sebastian, and I'm almost seventeen. I have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and had a thousand different disorders suggested to me (read: flung at me) for ages, until someone apparently decided that I also have Anti-Social Personality Disorder. No, I am not a serial killer (or I wasn't the last time I checked, at least); yes, I may ask you to repeat something you've said, stand in a certain spot or recount something for me (numbers and I aren't friends at all: reaching 50000 words is going to be so very interesting). My body and I aren't friends either, actually, for that matter. Tea is my medication of choice, and also, we should be friends. :) Nice to meet you, my fellow Insanity Wrimos!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 10:08:33 +0100

'Cause I wanna be of alcohol, or any drug at all, completely free, so I self medicate with tea... Sorry. Reflexatory Emilie Autumn reference. Tea is godly. Preferred type/brand/blend/way to take tea? Mine is Lady Grey/Twinnings/Double Bergamot/Vanilla almond milk. Or Rooibos Chai with some very, very strong espresso, vanilla almond milk, and a few spoonfuls of sugar. But, I'm quite blasphemous in many ways.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 10:09:00 +0100

Hey! Yay Synesthesites! I have Sound/Colour. =)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Mother Lucifer — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 10:23:39 +0100

Reflexatory Emilie Autumn references are the best sort of references there are; fact. Gosh, your tea combinations sound utterly gorgeous. My concoction of particular preference is "Peking Gray": Earl Gray tea leaves combined with citrus rind and various flower petals. Chai with copious levels of vanilla essence, cloves and sugar is also rather fabulous - like liquid Christmas Morning (and, really, best saved for once a year). And, of course, one can't really go wrong with English Breakfast, particularly when one's soul requires some nurturing of the frank, immediate variety. Tea is love.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Lectin Gaezat — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 12:26:01 +0100

Mine is sound -> color, taste -> color and smell -> color. ;D My favorite music is based on how pretty the colors are. If that makes sense to you.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DrivingMishCrazy — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 13:38:35 +0100

I've got depression, lots of stress, and possibly anxiety. Struggling with cutting, trying so hard to stop and it's driving me crazy. My mom also seems to think I might be somewhere on the autism scale, not sure about that, I tend to wonder if I'm not bi-polar. But so far, I've only really been diagnosed with depression.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

ArborlonElf — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 14:24:22 +0100

PTSD, SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder), Panic Disorder, and Major Depression with psychotic features. The SAD combined with the panic disorder makes me legally disabled. The major depression may actually be Bipolar II with rapid cycling, but my psych wants to check into that more before diagnosing me. I'm currently only medicated for the major depression with psychotic features. (The psychotic features are visual/auditory hallucinations, but the meds help with that more than the depression.) I've also been told I most likely have ADHD and DD-NOS, but I haven't been diagnosed with having either of them. I'm also a recovering self-harmer (recovering badly, I might add), and I have attempted suicide three times, one of which landed me in a mental hospital for a week. Nice to meet you guys. :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

NerdlyLindsey — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 21:37:47 +0100

I also have a thing called visual snow which is like I see the snow or the static on the tv all the time, on everything. I've always had it but, I never knew how to explain it to the doctors so I've only been recently diagnosed with it like last month. So that's just quirky thing that I have that doesn't effect me at all and there is no cure for it and I just have to deal with it!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

andifadoubledeckerbus — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 21:44:28 +0100

hey guys. depression, gender dysphoria, asperger's, ADD and possibly bipolar here. i like this thread.. guess i'm not the only one here who's a bit messed up

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Alix T. — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 21:56:30 +0100

You remind me of me- or maybe I remind me of you. Ah, well. I don't have any diagnosed mental disorder, but it wouldn't really suprise me if someone gave a name to my craziness.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Alix T. — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 21:57:43 +0100

Oh, by the way, I'm Alix

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

ringqvist — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 21:59:19 +0100

Hi. Depression and undiagnosed eating disorder. I've had more or less of these two for most of my adolescence. I'm also suspecting social anxiety disorder... Hugs for you all, or love if you don't want hugs.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 00:26:57 +0100

HEY! MORE Synesthesia!!! YAY! This makes Alice happy! I have sound->> color/taste.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

tealeaf82 — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 00:28:50 +0100

I have some diagnosed social anxiety disorder; my issues aren't as serious as some of the mental health problems I've seen listed here, but unpleasant none-the-less. I've had anxiety issues since I was a child, but I'm getting better now :) I like that this is a friendly thread, and hope that it stays up for a while :D

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 00:28:58 +0100

Psychotic features are the absolute best, aren't they? -dry sarcasm- Also a recovering self-harmer, with 3 trips to a mental hospital. Three months, 2 weeks, 3 days. They're *fun*. Only not. At all.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 00:29:59 +0100

Yay, people with PTSD! Only, you know, not yay for having it. Because it sucks. But yay for us not being alone!!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

CameronDaye — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 01:44:22 +0100

I've got some severe as hell social anxiety, lots of fun to deal with. Especially combined with the gender dysphoria and paranoia. I've got several tics that I can't control, and all sorts of problems with food - on top of my stress overeating, I've got severe gluten intolerance that makes my anxiety worse, along with several other food allergies.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

CameronDaye — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 01:46:05 +0100

Synesthesia? Is it too obtrusive if I ask what kind? I find it a fascinating thing.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

CameronDaye — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 01:47:43 +0100

My psych thinks I might have AvPD, but I can't be diagnosed with it for another three years, because of the whole age thing :/

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

CameronDaye — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 01:50:11 +0100

The same thing happened to me. What're you on? I found that zoloft and other traditional SSRIs did that and actually made me worse, but then I tried effexor, an SNRI and felt much better. So, maybe talk to your doctor about trying something different?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Sunstreak — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 02:00:09 +0100

Greetings. I am Sunny. I try to live up to my name. It tends not to work. I have some form of depression and some form of anxiety, and though I of course can't properly be diagnosed, I know they're there. I am also a recovering self-harmer.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

cheydancer — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 02:01:49 +0100

I know this isn 't anything like what you guys/girls deal with but last year especially during nano I was having really bad panic attacks. Every night when it got dark before I'd go to bed...which was strange because I have always been a night owl. One day I googled "fear of going to sleep." and found panic attacks and I'd get all the symptoms that were listed. On the up side though it was really helpfull for writing chase scenes and such because I was feeling what one would feel when in danger or being chased. So...yeah any other panic-ers?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

mistressoftwilight13 — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 02:17:24 +0100

Hello! I have General Anxiety, Aspergers, ADHD, a small touch of OCD, and I may or may not have PTSD, which I suppose would make some sense, haha. I may also have Cyclothymia, which, for those of you unaware, is basically a mild form of bi-polar disorder. I'm unsure about that last one at this point, but I seem to be a classic case, and my mother has it, which ups my chances from the look of things. Not that it really matters to me; out of all of these, I'm only medically treated for the anxiety, and that's just Xanax for when I have really bad panic attacks. As for the rest, I'm in counseling on a weekly basis (mostly just for purposes of venting at this point, haha), and I like to study meditations, as well. Also, have any of you ever heard of/tried binaural beats? They're pretty nifty, just saying. : D But, yeah. I have all of this crap "wrong" with me, but honestly? I don't think it really defines me as a person. I think I'm probably defined by just how generally mental I am in day-to-day life; you don't have to know there's a darned thing up with me to know that there's, well, something up with me. xD But, I love my view of the world, and I wouldn't give it up for anything, even with all the emotional baggage that comes with it. It makes me such a nifty little person, after all, haha! But, yes, anyways. Hello, fellow crazy NaNoers! :3 (Arguably, aren't we all crazy for even doing this in the first place!? Haha!)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 02:21:25 +0100

Oh, not at all! I have Sound/Colour. Mostly Music/Colour, but if I'm at the right level of either relaxation or manic, any sound can trigger it. For example, the lids of aluminum trash cans clapping back onto the base is neon yellow, if there's no bag in it. It's mustard yellow if there is a bag. =)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

mistressoftwilight13 — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 02:23:28 +0100

...Hello! : D -waves- My anxiety disorder causes me to have panic attacks at times, so I know how fun they are. Eheh. Have you tried simple meditation and breathing exercises before going to bed, if that's when the problem usually occurs? It may seem a little odd at first, but they can really help once you find ones that are good for you. c: I also have a bad tendency to get my most severe panic attacks at night, so I feel you on that one. -sympathetic nod- But, hey, like you said, at least they give you an idea of how to better empathize with your characters in certain situations! Way to find a bright side to a crappy situation! -high fives-

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 02:26:39 +0100

I must track down a blend of Peking Gray. It sounds delectable. Shame there are only a handful of places where I live that actually sell herbs that are safe and not entirely disgusting to create tea with. It doesn't seem like anywhere around here is capable of dehydrating herbs and leaves to save their lives. If I didn't live in an apartment, I'd make a garden, however my landlord won't allow it. I prefer Darjeeling to English Breakfast, though they're extremely similar. Darjeeling just has a bit sharper of a flavour, I think. And yes, tea is love.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Day.In.Everyones.Shoes — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 02:28:49 +0100

Hi everyone, I'm Jill! :3 I'm an obsessive compulsive, and I've been having some trouble with it lately, because of stress, I guess. I tend to obsess over sexual and religious things, the usual compulsion being prayer and repeating whatever I was doing at the time. I used to be very germaphobic, but that's mild, if anything, now, and I worried much more about violent images when I broke down freshman year, at which point I was diagnosed with OCD. My family and I had maybe entertained the thought of OCD previous to that, but my non-germaphob symptoms made it less obvious; the stereotype of perfectionist-cleaner got in the way. Anyway, I'm on Prozac, which I've tried stepping down a few times and felt horrible when I did, so maybe I'll try again at some point, but I'm not an anti-medication person, and I'm okay with taking meds. I went to see a counselor for a while after I was diagnosed, but now I feel that I can recognize and work on my OCD when it starts getting to me. I was really happy to see this topic, it's nice to be reminded I'm not alone! (I know a lot of people have said that, but it's true!) :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 02:29:55 +0100

Makes perfect sense to me, dear. I do the same thing. Anything particularly yellow or orange and I can't stand it. I'm a huge fan of Nightwish, and their music is mostly a black backround on blues, purples, and reds with the occasional green and magentas. 7 Days To The Wolves is the only particularly yellow song that comes to mind, but it's not completely yellow. More magenta, neon green, and blood red on a black background with little glimmers of yellow. Kind of glittery, kind of shimmery. It's gorgeous. What music are you into?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 02:33:46 +0100

Psychotic features here as well. Which is why I'm more inclined to believe I'm Bipolar I and not Bipolar II. Haha. It's amazing how similar we all are. Recovering self-harmer (I have since either May or July... I can't quite recall. I tend to try to block out how long it's been, 'cause it tends to trigger me.), with two trips to a psych hospital, and six suicide attempts in the last four years. I've never spent more than the 72 hour requirement in a hospital. I'm an excellent liar. That's really the only reason.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 02:35:59 +0100

I love your attitude. =) And you're completely right. Bravi!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 02:42:18 +0100

Synesthesia makes the world a prettier place. Most of the time. Sometimes my colors are hideous, and the tastes are worse. *cringes*

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 02:47:11 +0100

Hey everybody! Yeah, this did die last year... :P Hopefully it can return to the glory of 2009, when it was kept up well into January. My name is LeeLee. I'm sixteen years old and I have a lovely cocktail of dysthmia, moderate social anxiety coupled with a splash of generalized anxiety disorder (yay for weekly panic attacks), trichotillomania, and I'm recovering from some eating disorder that isn't quite anorexia but it's pretty close. I'm not currently in therapy or on meds because the Medicaid we have doesn't cover it because I'm supposedly not a danger to others or myself. I used to go to therapy, though. I don't feel like it helped much. Just caused me to psychoanalyze everything and play down my feelings until I exploded :P

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 02:50:03 +0100

Teaaaa! Leah likey tea. Too much, really. Hey, Sami? Remember when I showed you all of my tea? Yeah, all of it is gone. Including the "desperate" tea. At least tea is a healthy addiction, eh? I drink a lot of Darjeeling and Lady Grey, as well as Earl Grey Creme. I'll only drink the creme if it's loose leaf, though. I enjoy Darjeeling with coconut or almond milk with a bit of fake honey, and my Lady Grey with chocolate or vanilla almond milk, heated slightly. It tastes blasphemous. Which is amazing. OH! I also drink a LOT of Lapsang Souchong. It's got a smokey taste. It's delicious. OH! SAMI! I tried that coffee-tea mix and IT IS BLASPHEMOUS AND DELICIOUS AND GIVES LEAH KILLER BUZZ. I likey.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Lectin Gaezat — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 02:53:28 +0100

I woke up this morning to hallucinations that my back was erupting (painfully and gloriously) into black webbed wings. I don't know why, but I like these hallucinations. I just need to stop having the bad ones.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 02:58:21 +0100

I TOLD YOU IT WAS DELICIOUS. I'm very glad you likey, mah dear. And wow. You actually drank the Bigelow? O.O You're a brave little toaster.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 02:58:25 +0100

That sounds like a beautiful hallucination! I never get pretty ones! I get to see my dead ex. And, you know, feel like stuff is crawling all over me. And all of that completely un-fun stuff. I want a pretty hallucination! Ah, uh. I'm -slightly- manic at the moment. Like, not quite manic, but very close to being so. This should prove to be very fun. Only, you know, not. At all. I'm a bad manic.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 03:02:39 +0100

ALSO. MEDS. I'm on 25 mgs of Lamictal for mixed episodes. It works very well, as long as the dosage isn't messed with at all. My psych tried t up it to 50 and sent me into a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD mixed episode. I stopped taking it for a few weeks, and started again at 25 about two weeks ago. It seems to be doing it's job again. It's nice. Also, I have Trazodone for when I have trouble sleeping. Which isn't terribly often, 'cause my boyfriend lives with me and for some reason I can fall asleep pretty easily when he's around. But, when he's gone, I have to be heavily medicated to get any sleep whatsoever. I took 50mg of Trazodone last time he was away and my legs started buzzing. And my head got all spinny. And I started to get hallucinate-y, but I fell asleep before anything too bad happened. Also, my heart felt.... off.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 03:10:47 +0100

I HAD TO! I was desperately craving tea. *must get to a store* I even drank the green tea with mango. -gags-

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Lectin Gaezat — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 03:14:59 +0100

Oh, I have the stuff crawling over me stuff as well. And I get plenty of hallucinations of monsters and various... not so nice stuff. Once, I got my legs chewed off. I think that's because I decided to get a bit (read: very) sleep deprived and then forget to take my meds. Needless to say, I take meds when I get sleepy. Or I try to stay steady with my medication. If only I had nice hallucinations. But then it wouldn't be a problem, would it. :/

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 03:16:14 +0100

MEDS! YES! How could I forget? Lesse. What was I on? 30mg Prozac, 100-125mg Trazodone (I'm supposed to take it every night, but I rarely do, plus, I currently don't have a prescription of it. I flushed it.) and an anti-psychotic. The names escapes me. I stopped taking all three about a week ago. Withdrawal from the anti-psych is a bitch, but the others haven't caused anything too horrible. You know, besides the pending manicness.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

tealeaf82 — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 03:18:36 +0100

I love your outlook, and how you embrace all aspects of your person. There's such a stigma on mental illness nowadays, and too many people suffer in silence or insist that there's "nothing wrong" when they could be getting help. Keep being awesome!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 03:19:14 +0100

Once, I had an absolutely wonderful (as in not in the slightest) hallucination that I was undergoing rat torture. Apparently, not eating or sleeping for three days makes these things happen.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Artificial Asian — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 03:47:26 +0100

I'm not diagnosed either, actually... I've never seen a psychiatrist or anything, but I have basically every single symptom that's listed anywhere... How old do you have to be to be diagnosed, then? >_> It's good to know I'm not the only one, anyway :) I've never met anyone who might even possibly have it... :) Good to know we're not alone.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

GreaseLightning — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 04:21:17 +0100

Hi! I'm Cassy. I have anxiety, depression, and a history of suicidal thoughts. I'm not on any meds, but I've been seeing a therapist since 3rd grade. Nice meeting y'all.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

NerdlyLindsey — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 04:50:30 +0100

I hate to be a little creepy again but, when you hear a sound does your whole field of vision turn the colour or just the object that makes the sound? I just think synesthesia is really interesting.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 05:14:58 +0100

Neither. It just makes everything glow whatever colour(s) very vividly. It's more intense in parts, like splashes of colour that get more transparent as they branch out from the center of the splash. If that makes sense. Which it probably doesn't.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Artaxiad Prescott — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 05:30:35 +0100

Lexapro. I function much better all around, but I kind of miss being able to pound out 10k in five hours. I've been meaning to talk to my doctor about it for a while -- I think I'll get on it next time I see him.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Lyndie — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 05:41:24 +0100

I'm Lyndie, I'm 14, I'm depressed, OCD, ADD, undiagnosed anorexia.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Maurawr — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 05:43:55 +0100

Yep, bipolar disorder and anxiety issues. which reminds me Leah, I never sent your letter! Wanna write first? Sorry about that.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Lyndie — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 05:44:48 +0100

TARDIS IN THE PICTURE ABOVE ME.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 06:48:29 +0100

Sure, I'll write first. I'll need your address again, though.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

AlexCynara — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 07:01:40 +0100

Hi, I'm Alex! I have mild OCD, severe clinical depression, Tourette's(mild now but very severe when I was little), and some really awful psychotic issues that come and go. I don't believe in therapy though and I won't take medication. I am who I am because of past trauma inflicted by those 'close' to me and they have to deal with the result. Anywho, nice to meet y'all and this thread was an amazing idea

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Fircoal — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 07:15:14 +0100

Hello I'm Fircoal! I probably am not as problemed as most of this thread but problems I does have. Basically mine revolve around the fact that I am really really really sensitive, which tends to make almost way to easy to get hurt. I have undiagnosed depression (I should really see a doctor sometime :P ), and pretty bad paranoia (in the form of relationships and friendships mostly. It's hard for me to truly believe that one likes me and I can never stop the worry that I'll be ignored. Sadly it's happened in the best so it gets reinforced). Basically that's it in a nutshell. At least I hope I described it well.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Fircoal — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 07:16:01 +0100

What is Tardis?...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 07:37:52 +0100

A time traveling device from the Doctor Who series on BBC. *nods* It's AWESOME.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 07:39:16 +0100

*hugs* I'm hypersensitive as well. The slightest thing will hurt me. I'm trying to learn how to handle it and make it so that I don't respond so intensely to minor little things that were never meant to do any harm, but I don't really have any guidance on this path, so... it's not going terribly well. You're not alone. <3

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Fircoal — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 07:48:21 +0100

Makes sense. I kinda looked it up after making my question a bit moot. However I was confused before anything else, especially with the unfortunatence of Tardis being Tard + Is. In a thread where it isn't exactly the subject it makes it look more like trolling without knowing the object in question.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Fircoal — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 07:51:06 +0100

Currently my strategy has been less about changing myself, and more trying to warn people about it. Of course that wouldn't make it go away but it helps with some things. (And it most definitely makes people understand why I can act strange at times.) The thing is it all factors into each other, like I'm pretty sure hypersensitivity made the paranoia come about in responses to environmental stimuli. And now I'm such getting freaked out over the smallest of things. D: But yes, good to see that I'm not alone :3

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

spirograffe — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 10:37:38 +0100

ADHD, OCD, and DPD. Nice to meet you~! NaNo's been difficult in past years because of being far too distracted by everything, and massive lack of focus (seriously, it makes stuff so difficult. And then people are like, "Try!" and my only response can be, "What d'you think I've been doing?") , but I'm determined to finish this year... maybe.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Octa — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 13:54:28 +0100

Yup. General Anxiety. I've only had a real panic attack once, which is good, but it was still terrifying. I've almost had one a few times, but luckily, I can feel when they're coming on. Usually I just distract myself until I'm calmed down, unless it's gone too far, then I have to do the breathing exercises.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

FairytaleHero — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 15:49:28 +0100

Helloooo. I have a lesser-known type of OCD called Purely Obsessional (or Pure-O) OCD. It's not fun. It got really bad about 2 years ago but I've been a lot better since then. I've felt it coming back recently, but nowhere near as bad as it used to be. I probably have some kind of social anxiety thing too, but it's not diagnosed so I don't know. So yeah, helloo :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Aiyandra — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 16:35:28 +0100

Hello~. I don't have any diagnosed illnesses, so I'm not sure if it's general teenager insecurity (according to most adults I know everything that happens within one's teenage years is ''Just a phase and they'll get over it'') but I feel like I'm having some kind of social anxiety. I'm perfectly fine staying home alone without social contacts except for my dad - I do that all the time. Lately I've overcome a bit of my anxiety and started talking to my classmates; however, it stresses me a lot and after having a 10-minutes long conversation at the bus stop I'll start getting tired and insecure again. I am really sensitive. Most people don't know, but even one comment which is not meant to offend anyone can make me feel worthless. I also think I may be bipolar. Some days I will feel great and have so much energy, I won't need sleep and be totally happy. And then, the next day will wake up and don't feel able to do anything. I recovered from self-harming issues I had back in February. That's my little story and even if I am not diagnosed with anything, I still want to stay around because you seem like really nice persons. :D @ Fircoal: Yay, Pokémon! C:

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Fircoal — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 17:03:34 +0100

Heh, I have the sensitivity too. :D And yes I will say from what I know that doesn't sound normal (not that it's bad, we're all abnormal here :D ) and my personal opinion from my experience would be to do some investigating into it. That's what I did. I know I had the issue of thinking I may be bi-polar before. It took a while to finally figure out that because my highs and lows were so rapid and unlike the ones of bi-polar, it actually not bi-polar but rather reactions due to high levels of sensitivity. So I'd say research. The more you know. :D And yes Pokemon. :D Pokemon is the best :3

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 17:18:06 +0100

Hi! I'm Jenni. 14 I've got Synesthesia (If that counts...), a bit of anxiety, mild ADHD. :D Not medically treated for anything. I don't think I'd WANT to be treated for anything, though.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 17:32:11 +0100

Can I ask what the difference between that and regular OCD is?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

i_love_nutmeg — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 17:37:06 +0100

Hello, I'm E, almost 18. Mild OCD, depression (yay for the god of effexor for keeping me on track!), some type of mood jazz (perhaps mild bi-polar-ness, yay for lamictal!), anxiety problems. And just overall wierdness, which is awesome. Now I'll slink back into my little hole and pretend I'm not crazy!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Aiyandra — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 17:54:28 +0100

Oh well, being normal wouldn't be half as much fun as being abnormal. :D Thanks for you help; I think I will start researching today. I read some articles focussing on bipolarity a while ago, but forgot most of them. Investigating something always sounds like fun c: Yes it is :3 Do you have any favourite Pokemon or are you one of the 'I like them all except those 20 in the ugly-corner'-persons? ^^~

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 18:28:31 +0100

That makes four of us, now! Yay synesthesia! Mind me asking what kind you have? I have sound->colour/taste.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

ArborlonElf — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 18:58:58 +0100

Yeah, psychotic features suck. I'm probably on course to end up with another trip to a mental hospital very soon - my psych wants to send me back there. :(

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

CameronDaye — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 19:18:07 +0100

For all personality disorders, you have to be at least 18 to be diagnosed. Something about how when you're young, your personality is still forming. Or something. Most people who get diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder when they're adults are diagnosed with social anxiety disorder when they're teens or children. (Also, is it just me, or is it really ironic that the acronym for social anxiety is SAD?)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 20:15:46 +0100

Wow, I didn't realize there were that many! :D I have mostly sound/letters/numbers >color/taste.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 22:32:33 +0100

I know! The first person I met with it was graverobber, and before that I thought I was the only one with it!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

dragongirl — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 22:39:36 +0100

and here I was thinking I was a bit wierd. Undiagnosed mild autism, diagnosed mild dyslexia, and im really wierd pyschologicaly - i like bottle stuff up, dont talk about, act a different person for different people, not really quite sure how im supposed to act sometimes, or just shut up because i dont know what im supposed to be like... oh yeah, ive got a higher chance of getting ms too. my teacher is now getting me to see a councellor (?).

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

dragongirl — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 22:40:14 +0100

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

dragongirl — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 22:40:45 +0100

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

dragongirl — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 22:42:53 +0100

yarg! i posted two. *ignore dumb person*

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Artificial Asian — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 22:46:43 +0100

Ah... shows you how much I know about this kind of thing, I guess. That makes sense that you'd have to be an adult, I suppose, but... meh, I dunno XP And yeah, that acronym does seem a bit insult to injury-ish... >_>

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 22:50:56 +0100

Anyone know how to explain sythensia? (Sory, keyboard isn't working proprly) I tried explaining it to a couple of my close friends, and none of them really understood.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

natprouvaire — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 23:14:07 +0100

Hullo! Bipolar disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, social anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder; I've been diagnosed with nearly everything possible, some of which are blatantly contradictory of each other. These are the ones I usually list when asked. And as some people have already mentioned this and I'm not the first to do it, I'm also a recovering self harmer with a few visits to mental hospital/psychiatric wards etc. under my belt. I feel as though this post should end on a cheerful note, but alas I don't seem to be able to produce one.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 01:31:10 +0100

Leelee! Hi! I asked last year, but I'm forgetful, so what is dysthmia, again?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 01:34:28 +0100

If you can't end cheerful, why not blatantly sarcastic? Isn't being diagnosed with everything under the sun just the greatest? Do you know which type bipolar you have? I'm Bipolar I Rapid Cycle with psychotic features.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

KayFabian — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 02:01:52 +0100

Hello all, I'm KayFabian. I read every post so unless I missed it, I am the only one here with Schizophrenia. Meh. There is a lot of Synesthesia going around here. I know I don't have that but I can taste and smell the color pink only (I think due to my Schizophrenia.) So, hi.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jazzinsomniac — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 02:12:17 +0100

OCD
Bipolar II
Anxiety

And I believe I have a form of a panic disorder.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DonPasquale — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 02:20:32 +0100

Bipolar II, OCD, and extreme debilitating pathophobia. Also some gereneralized anxiety all up in here. And some problems with psychological regression, which is why I always write about characters younger than I am. But instead of using one of these, which I'm oh so familiar with, I give my character schizophrenia. This should be fun.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 04:05:32 +0100

100 posts ^-^

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

IzzieLostHerMind — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 04:12:37 +0100

Um -deep breath- OCD, ADD, BPD, Chronic Depression, and Number Form Synesthesia. Yeah.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Sunstreak — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 04:48:53 +0100

What's it like to have synesthesia? Does it make for some awesome writing?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 05:13:39 +0100

Well, it's kind of weird writing about someone without synesthesia.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Octa — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 14:07:09 +0100

Just read about Schizoid Personality Disorder. This sounds exactly like me. Great. Another thing to add to my list.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 15:29:08 +0100

It's a form of depression where the depressive episodes aren't as severe, but they last much longer.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 15:34:33 +0100

The first year this thread was up I started out just thinking I had depression, but I ended up reading the symptoms for every disorder people posted about and going "Hey, that sounds like me!" By the end of November I thought I had like fifteen different things. That's when my mom dragged me off to get diagnosed lol ^-^ I'm a bit of a hypochondriac when it comes to mental illnesses, it seems.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

myviolettears — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 15:37:31 +0100

Major depression, anxiety, OCD y'know the usual.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Octa — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 15:43:45 +0100

Wow. All that really seems to fit is the Schizoid Personality Disorder, which would explain a lot, and anxiety which I already know I have.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Peeled_Banana — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 17:31:43 +0100

Wow, Graverobber... Synesthesia is fascinating. I wish I could try it for a couple days. :3

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Peeled_Banana — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 17:32:11 +0100

Do you find it weird to imagine other people NOT having the colors, or is it easy?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Peeled_Banana — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 17:36:06 +0100

I love your avatar, dear.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

BonnieGrace — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 20:08:01 +0100

Hooray insanity :) I've been diagnosed with serious depression and ADD. I'm on meds for depression but nothing has worked for ADD =P I'm about to do this thing called "neuro feedback" my parents signed me up for so we'll see how that goes. It was kind or out of desperation because my ADD really screws up my life and nothing has worked so far for it.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

silver_seraph — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 20:41:52 +0100

I have OCD and(self diagnosed) social anxiety. I'm also a manic depressive, and I used to self harm. It's great to see other people with problems here though. But not in a bad way. I just like knowing I'm not alone.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Day.In.Everyones.Shoes — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 22:41:18 +0100

I've heard of that--it's where you don't have a compulsion to make the anxiety go away, right? I know my flare-ups of OCD are exhausting, so I hope it doesn't come back too bad for you!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Day.In.Everyones.Shoes — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 22:45:25 +0100

Don't slink back into your little hole! As funny as it is to say we're crazy sometimes, we aren't bad-crazy! We've just got more to deal with than the average NaNo-ing teenager! :P

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

cheydancer — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 09:02:40 +0100

Yeah aren't they the bomb?!.......Yeah actually. Although I didn't try meditation specifically for that which is what's funny. I had been interested in yoga, tea, etc. for a while but I got really interested in dreams and things. I was especially interested in lucid dreaming. (where you can control the dream) well I read that by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing, but holding the intention of staying mentally awake you could lucid dream (after loads of practice.) So I started to and the panic attacks pretty much went away! (I still get them but not quite as often.) I was stoked! I'm really dying to try this book the link is at the bottom of this post. It's a 28 day program of meditations and I really want to try it out. The reviews say it's great for people who have a hard time sitting there and meditating ME, ME ,ME! Lol. http://www.amazon.com/Real-Happiness-Meditation-28-Day-Program/dp/B005OHURLQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1318838099&sr=8-1

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

cheydancer — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 09:06:09 +0100

Yeah! Being able to tell when they are coming on is fantastic! I just slow my breathing and it's gone in a min or so. I really dislike crying, or showing emotion/weakness, in front of ANYONE....so it can sometimes make my panic attacks worse because I don't want anyone to notice. They don't...except for my first one which was REALLY bad but it just seemed like I was sick. (because of the stomach weirdness symptom.) So good job!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

cheydancer — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 09:17:53 +0100

I agree! There is also the issue of not knowing what the heck is wrong with you which can be kind of scary. It's the getting passed the "I have to handle it myself or that means I'm weak" and get help. I still haven't partly because we live an hour and a half away from the nearest Wal-Mart let alone anything else…and partly because I tell myself that my issues can't possibly compare to anyone else’s in the world, and that I just want to think that I have gone through stuff so that I can be like characters from Sarah Dessen books-or any other book(s)- or something. Also another part of it is that I'm slightly mistrusting of authority (unless their my parents.) I would rather study psychiatry and do it myself. Hey does that sound like any of you?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DrivingMishCrazy — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 09:20:33 +0100

So, I've been in a relapse with my SH recently, and I've been telling myself for days that I want to get out of it and back into recovery, but I think tonight, as bad as my mood got (and it got really bad, I was having some dark thoughts for a while, there) I think tonight is the first night that I've told myself that I want to get back into recovery and actually felt like I meant it. Any ideas or motivation to help me get and stay cut free?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

cheydancer — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 09:21:18 +0100

I bottle things up a lot too!! A lot actually...I have since I was little. It builds up and builds up and I'm just waiting to have a breakdown....hoping that I won't but at the same time if it will help let's just get it over with!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Wonder — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 10:38:52 +0100

Hmm, 'flashbacks'? Do you mind explaining your experiences/symptoms of that to me a bit? Because I've long dealt with what I personally define as 'flashbacks', which I know is some kind of mental problem/illness, but I'm not entirely sure what it is, which is why I've been looking around for help on identifying it. Sorry, I hope I'm not being too invasive -- thanks so much!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Wonder — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 10:57:14 +0100

I'm another person who is extremely sensitive! And I agree, it's nice to see that I'm not alone. :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 12:13:22 +0100

Not so much weird as just different. *shrugs* Even though I'm the different one. I dunno. It's just hard to imagine something different than what I know. Not seeing music and hearing it at the same time is such a foreign notion to me.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 12:22:00 +0100

That depends. How long did you have clean before your relapse? And how long has the relapse been? I tend to set short-term goals for myself, depending on the situation. It works best when the goals are related to writing, personally. Like, last year I made a pact with myself that I wouldn't cut through all of November, until I finished the first draft of my novel. It worked really well for me, I didn't cut once last November, and I've only cut a handful of times since then. Four, maybe five? I do the same with suicidal thoughts. Put them off for now, with something positive, and actually do something about them later, when I've had some distance from the first thought of suicide. It works well for me, but it does take a bit of self discipline. It's definitely not impossible, though. <3 Hang in there! Btw, is that Demi in your avatar?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 12:23:55 +0100

Depends on the type of Synesthesia, really. I usually give a bare bones explanation of mine, Sound/Colour. I hear music, it makes me see colours. The colours vary widely, and it's seldom a single colour, most often a splash of many different colours in varying shades and intensities. *shrugs*

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 12:27:50 +0100

No need to end it on a cheerful note, really. Personally, I'd rather you be honest about your feelings than lie about them. I've only been diagnosed with dysthymia, borderline personality disorder, and (FINALLY) Bipolar. Not sure on which classification of Bipolar, though, because my insurance stopped covering my psych visits, and I don't have the money to go consistently. I should go back and capitalize the other disorders, but I don't want to. XD ALSO. It's not severe in the slightest, but I'm kind of OCD about body hair. Not, like, hair on the head. I shave my eyebrows and everywhere else where hair isn't blonde multiple times weekly. I paint my eyebrows on with liquid eyeliner, too, 'cause it's fun. XD

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Wonder — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 12:40:24 +0100

So I was reading through this thread and looking up done of the disorders you guys mentioned - and I *finally* think I know what I have. Social anxiety disorder. Thanks so much everyone, I'm glad to know what I actually have now, and how I'm not alone.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

bloodxredxroses — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 21:27:32 +0100

I have depression (though I'm feeling loads better now that I'm on meds and in a new place where I feel...right?) and anxiety. I'm not as bad as lots of people with depression and/or anxiety, but there have been times where I was really, really, really bad.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 03:07:53 +0100

Be careful with self-diagnosis. It can make it extremely difficult to get a genuine medical diagnosis, because you're so convinced that you have it. It's easy to forget things that aren't related to what you think you have, even though they're just as important as the symptoms you can make sense of. *hugs* But you're definitely not alone! <3

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Wonder — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 06:10:59 +0100

That's a good point, I'll try to keep my mind open then. Thanks! And *hugs back*.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DrivingMishCrazy — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 06:54:55 +0100

I think I got through the entire summer until maybe the second week of September without cutting, so like 2 months? Maybe 3? I cut like once or twice in September, and then was more or less okay until like last week. That sounds like a solid idea! I definitely want to get through NaNo cut free. I think I might do that, thanks. I'm just tired of letting cutting sort of control me whenever it wants, so I'm willing to try anything to just get the motivation to stop. I really need to go back to therapy, but my schedule has been so crazy with starting school that I have virtually no time. But yeah, I think I'll try that. Thank you! Yes, it is! I'm a relatively new fan of hers, but I'm already loving her music. Listening to her music actually really helps me when I'm feeling down, I don't know if it's because she was dealing with cutting as well or her empathy towards people, but it really does lift my mood. It's catchy, too. :-)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 09:23:10 +0100

Well, you know you can go 2-3 months without cutting, which is definitely pretty solid progress. =) I tend to relapse every 6-9 months, but I'm working on expanding the length of time between relapses. It's never really going to end, I don't think, but that doesn't mean we can't put as much time between relapses as possible. It's a long, hard struggle, but you're definitely off to a really fantastic start. Glad to help, I hope it works for you! I thought so! Yay! I'm a somewhat new fan as well, since Skyscraper was released. I'd never really cared much for her until she went to the hospital. I've been past the teeny pop/rock for a good long while, so she never really was on my music radar until I learned about her self harm and bipolar disorder. I knew a little about her before her breakdown, but only speculation, mainly on the jelly bracelets/silly bandz incident a few years back. It's a huge comfort to me, personally, to actually have a person in the spotlight near my own age (she's a year younger than I am) fighting the same demons that I am. Makes me feel less alone, less misunderstood, like less of a freak. Imma stop rambling now. XD

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DrivingMishCrazy — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 10:04:29 +0100

Yeah, it's definitely a good start! I figure if I can work my way up to 6 months cut-free, passing that new milestone will be good incentive to stay cut-free. I mean, I will probably always be a cutter, even if I one day manage to go a year or more without making a cut, but if I can just keep working hard to stay healthy and positive, I think that'll be a really big accomplishment. Same here! Except I have 3 younger siblings, so I've known who Demi Lovato was before Sonny With A Chance, before Camp Rock, even, when she was on some short that Disney was putting out. Truth be told, I've seen clips of her from when she was on Barney, and a vaguely remember her from that (o.O) but that's another story. In any case, I think I would have been a fan sooner had Disney not played her music to death on their channel and overexposed her like they have with all of their starlets, but that, plus the fact that I thought I was so "cool" at 13 or 14, I rejected her as a "Disney girl" which was unfair, but I digress. I heard about the cutting rumors back when they first started and I remember thinking that the whole "jelly bracelets" excuse and thinking it was total bull. I saw the pictures and I just thought, "Okay, no matter HOW tight you wear your bracelets, they're not going to leave marks that bad on your skin!" That was before I had personal experience cutting, though. Then when she went into treatment, I just remember thinking "Damn, I guess all that stuff was true, that really sucks" and by then I was cutting on and off, and secretly sort of empathizing with her. Then when Skyscraper came out, I remember listening to it and breaking down in tears. Only two other songs ever affected me that way ("Why" by Rascal Flatts and "****ing Perfect" by P!nk) and I've been a fan ever since Skyscraper. :-) It definitely is comforting, like I'm a year younger than Demi (Actually, I'm exactly 14 months younger, her birthday is 8/20/1992 and mine is 10/20/1993) and so to have someone that close to my age going through the same stuff just makes me feel like I've got someone on my side, who's been there and knows what it's like. Like even though I haven't had the opportunity to meet her, I feel like she "gets it". It helps that she seems really in-touch with her fans, too. Feel free to ramble anytime you want, I ramble quite a bit, myself! ^_^

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 13:34:32 +0100

D: my anxiety has been getting worse. Any tips?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

asiyah123 — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 17:44:38 +0100

Depression and a eating disorder that comes and goes depending on how bad I get.Sometimes I have really bad anxiety that almost become panic attacks. I haven't gotten help because my grandma hates mental ill people and my mom..*sigh* Gosh. I don't have a good environment. I really like Demi Lovato.Besides loving her music I'm proud of her. I'm a Lovatic. xD

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

lundstorm — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 20:24:24 +0100

Trichster here. Feeling pretty awful about it at the moment, as it's starting to escalate again along with my stress levels getting busted. It's a lot better compared to last year though, because now I know that it is a actual thing and just not me being a complete nutty.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 20:53:22 +0100

Oh yeah, I might also have really really mild OCD

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Nicoletta Reich — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 22:43:04 +0100

This is awesome! I have depression, OCD, anxiety disorder, what many call a sociopathic personality (I don't think so however), and very mild schizophrenia. Crazies unite!!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

soul_less_human — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 22:47:29 +0100

Hi. I'm Soulless. People tell me I have depression. To be honest, I know I need help but I don't know what's wrong with me. I know there is /something/ wrong but it's been wrong so long I don't even know anymore.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

YourDestiny — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 23:15:28 +0100

Wow, Im not alone! I have mild OCD, ADHD, Aspergers/Autism and anxiety problems. Me and my friend call Aspergers "Hamburgers" :3

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

fendue — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 23:45:22 +0100

I think I'm bipolar but I'm not sure. And I know I have OCD.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Octa — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 00:42:31 +0100

Nearly had another panic attack today. I was just able to get it to leave when it was starting. Also, I find it funny that everyone always assumes it's an asthma attack, when it's really not at all.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 01:28:50 +0100

So I had to go to the doctor today because I've been sick for a few days. He discovered my weight's not quite what it should be (read: my BMI's 15.8) and he says he wants to do blood work. If he can't find anything, he wants to put me on an anti-depressant. I'm not happy. The idea of needles puts me into panic-attack mode, and I just really don't want to go onto an anti-depressant. I don't like meds, and I don't like the possible side effects. I just... argh.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Octa — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 01:40:32 +0100

Oh god, I have a doctor's appointment in two days. Really hope I don't need any shots this year. The last time needles were threatened I did have a panic attack.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

dreammagic_ofRuzh — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 01:47:25 +0100

Hey there, everyone~ You can call me Magic. So I just found this thread, and it's totally awesome. ^-^ Wish I'd known about it last year! I have severe General Anxiety Disorder, to the point that I was having nightly panic attacks until I went on Zoloft. I also have moderate OCD (though sometimes it flares up) and potential mild depression (undiagnosed, my doctor wants to look into it a bit more). I also have amblyopia, meaning my eyes don't work together, so when my left eye is open, my right eye is basically blind and useless. I've also lost fifteen pounds in four months without trying, and the doctor can't figure out what's up with that. So yeah. That just aggravates the GAD. Ah... so yeah. Glad to meet you all! ^-^ Nice to find others my age like this.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 03:45:59 +0100

I feel like such a basketcase right now. I want to cut. It's the time of year where I start up again, because it's finally cool enough to wear long sleeves all the time. Thing is, I have something this year that I didn't have in the past. A reason not to. Someone I care about enough to where I don't want to hurt them by hurting myself. More than that, I don't want to be this person anymore. I don't want to be the girl who buys the biggest box of gauze she can afford every time she goes to the pharmacy. I'm sick of being her. I don't like being her. This isn't me. I've been hiding behind her, because it's easy to hide behind her. Becoming someone else, someone better, someone stronger, is hard. It wouldn't be worth doing if it wasn't difficult. Bah. I don't know. I kind of want to force myself to cry for a few hours, but I don't think I can. My boyfriend's here, and I don't want to freak him out. I suppose I'll drown the world out with music instead. Unbroken, anyone?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 03:46:48 +0100

PIKACHUUUUUUUUUU! I love you. O.O ANYONE WHO WOULD USE PIKACHU AS AN AVATAR IS GODLY.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 05:04:59 +0100

Had a panic attack today. D: first in almost 6 months. Luckily mom didn't see it, or she'd want me medicated and have driven me to the doctor.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 05:06:04 +0100

*half. I was able to calm down eventually, But it took quite a while.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

mellohdee — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 05:58:58 +0100

I have a General Anxiety Disorder and OCD. I clean - a lot.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

thehealthyalternative — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 16:47:53 +0100

Hi! I was just diagnosed on Friday with bipolar disorder type 2, severe anxiety, and OCD. My OCD manifests itself mainly in dermatillomania. I mean, I've been dealing with these disorders for years now but just now have been officially diagnosed. I'm actually worried because I start meds on the 25th and I'm hoping none of the meds I have to go on will affect my creativity :(

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

3hjessica — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 18:21:10 +0100

I'm Jess, and you just put my life into words i haven't been able to come up with. Thank you ._.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Catmeghum — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 19:15:51 +0100

Oh, this thread feels so much more normal to me then anywhere else... xD Hi :D I'm actually in recovery now (most of the time) - I had a terrible phase of depression and anxiety last year, with self-harming that came to be quite severe and suicidal. I moved on from cutting to mild overdosing, and then came fairly close to an eating disorder, but I started CBT and managed to stop myself in time. Mostly, it's anxiety - I've finally been put on propanolol which does help a little; means I'm less panicky. I'm also slightly OCD, and possibly on the autistic spectrum (my brother has high-functioning autism and we have a lot of similarities, and it does run in families). I do tend to relapse into cutting occasionally - as some people have already said, it's not something you can ever really completely recover from :( I don't really feel like I have problems most of the time because my friends have it a lot worse than me, (manic phases; depression; hallucinations; delusions; and still neither of those two has a diagnosis yet) but having written it out, I guess I am pretty messed up :L It's mostly down to being a perfectionist and putting too much pressure on myself, but I'm working on that. Also, I'm generally weird, so people do tend to think I'm really crazy :) Good to meet you all :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

asiyah123 — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 20:26:18 +0100

I'm going to be completely honest and say that I'm a "burner" and yesterday I had this urge to do it-I had the lighter and everything-but I just stopped. I'm on edge this week. Don't know what's wrong but I feel like crap. I've known a lot of people who were cutters but never any burners.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

asiyah123 — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 20:26:56 +0100

What happened? You okay? *gives brownie*

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Skraped — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 21:10:18 +0100

Anxiety. OCD. And a suspected case of Schizoid Personality Disorder. I had gone to the psychiatrist team to see whether I had Asperger's, they're still debating on that. And i'm still waiting for an appointment to get started on some treatments.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

caseyuer — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 22:44:01 +0100

Panic Attacks, OCD and the occasional bout of depression. Cool though, I never knew so many other NaNoTeens were like me =)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 23:37:15 +0100

I'm a cutter and a burner, so... yeah. Me too.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Day.In.Everyones.Shoes — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 01:52:27 +0100

I've been on my OCD meds since I was diagnosed almost two and half years ago, and I've maintained all my creativity since then. In fact, I think that since the meds help keep me from starting to obsess, I have less interrupted time to think and work creatively. :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Day.In.Everyones.Shoes — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 01:54:20 +0100

Nice to meet you too, Magic! :) My friends and I were talking about pikachu and pokeballs the other day! Adorable picture!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

aalsknaf — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 02:53:46 +0100

Cyclothymic (bipolar, but milder) and mild anxiety. (self diagnosed, TBH. my parents are hyperchondriacs and deny any illness) The anxiety is actually the worst of the two because I have eczema that is set off by stress... So I have a bad physical reaction to anxiety, even if the mental side of it isn't quite that extreme.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

thehealthyalternative — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 03:29:32 +0100

That's very encouraging! May I ask what meds you're on specifically?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

blank_sheet_of_paper13 — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 03:43:50 +0100

Yeah, this is why I refuse to go to a doctor or a therapist even though stuff is clearly wrong with my brain. I had a pretty traumatizing experience two years ago with doctors/medicine and so now I'm afraid of both of those things.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 04:00:18 +0100

I had this amazing thing all written up and everything, and then my stupid internet decided to mess up. (Oh, how I long to drop an f-bomb). So, in a nutshell (like me!), I am in a mixed episode, a cut is infected badly enough I have to go to the doctor, the doctor freaks me out, my trich is acting up, and my OCD is *really* acting up. Oh, and I'll probably either flash back or have a panic attack at the doctor's. What's that, psych ward? You want me back?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 10:17:47 +0100

*huggles* Go if you need to, love. I know there are a lot of things going on with you and yours right now, but honestly, you're no use to them if you're not well, or worse yet, dead. I hate hospitals too, but if it'll keep you alive long enough for this current stress and agony to pass, then you've got no reason not to go. You can't keep anyone else safe if you're not safe. I love you. *glomps* You're my sister. I wouldn't urge you to get help if I didn't love you. <3

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

SCurtis_No1_Fan — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 13:46:02 +0100

Tiffany here! OCD, test anxiety, and commitment issues. As well as a self-diagnosed insomniac.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

soul_less_human — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 13:48:09 +0100

Welp, I just woke up this morning and I want to take something pointy to my skull and stab over and over again. Hahaha.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

asiyah123 — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 20:30:55 +0100

Who doesn't? ^^ Whoa..that sounded teen angsty. xD

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Octa — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 00:42:29 +0100

Very nearly had a panic attack twice today. I had to get a physical at the doctors, and I thought I was just going to have to get a finger prick, but they had to draw blood from the inside of my elbow. I'm also very sensitive to the inside of elbow area, and getting a needle jabbed into it is pretty much torture to me. Even people touching there scares me. But at least I didn't have to see the needle. Then I really would have had a panic attack. But still, it was bad. I'm still shaking a bit now from it.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

ninjaobsessor — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 01:01:23 +0100

I'm depressed. Never been diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure that suicidal thoughts = depression. And I'm not trying to play psychologist, but there are at least three personality disorders that match me to a tee. I could be wrong. I probably am. But meh.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

soul_less_human — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 08:12:32 +0100

Go get diagnosed and then come back to us. It may be more than just depression. Human minds are fragile things; any number of issues could make them want to die regularly.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

soul_less_human — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 08:13:23 +0100

People who apparently have normal mental trains of thought, according to my doctors.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 15:53:32 +0100

I'm so freaking sick of everyone asking me what their voice tastes/looks like. So. Yeah. Never be out as having synesthesia to a bunch of highschoolers. Ever. Take my word for it.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Fiery_Sapphire — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 15:59:23 +0100

I was diagnosed with a general anxiety disorder two years ago and am still in therapy for it. I also self-diagnosed myself with ADD. Seriously, if you knew me in person you yourself would diagnose me with ADD. It's pretty bad, lol.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

21stcenturybreakdown — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 16:52:17 +0100

I have the sorry disease - i compulsively say sorry for anything, even if I have nothing to do with it! XD

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

21stcenturybreakdown — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 16:53:03 +0100

I'm not trying to be horrible or sarcastic about anyone/thing, I just have a need to say sorry at the time

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

asiyah123 — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 20:01:59 +0100

^^^ Same. xD

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

AbruptlyMystical — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 20:17:35 +0100

I have a question! How did you guys decide/find out that you had a problem? And how did you convince people that it was serious and needed help? I'm fairly certain I have some anxiety problems, though the irony of it is I'm absolutely terrified to get help. It's gotten to the point where it is messing with things it shouldn't and it's just not fun having panic attacks in the middle of feeling alright. Of course it all means I'm too scared to even tell my own mother, let alone get any outside help. Apparently normal people dont seriously swear that their ordering everything from Amazon.com and barricading the doors for the rest of their life.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

blank_sheet_of_paper13 — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 21:30:10 +0100

Same. It's horrible.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

blank_sheet_of_paper13 — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 21:31:38 +0100

Yeah this. Exactly. My grades have been dropping due to a bunch of crap wrong with me and today my mom was like "this is obviously a cry for help." And on the inside I was like "YES IT IS AND IT HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR WEEKS" but on the outside I was like, "haha, why would you suggest such a thing? I don't need help, I'm perfectly fine and normal!"

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

dreammagic_ofRuzh — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 21:42:36 +0100

thehealthyalternative: I don't think it should interrupt your creativity. If it does, maybe it's not the right med for you. If anything, I've gotten more creative since I started taking Zoloft for two reasons. One is that I'm not panicking all the time now, so I can think straight. Two is that I've been having these wicked crazy dreams. xP A peasant girl dies of pneumonia, her body and grave are encased in concrete, everyone goes to a mourning banquet served by tall blue stick-men (and one random green one), and the woman making the food has severe OCD so everyone has to eat the pasta in a certain pattern. Then my teacher rides by on a tricycle. It's awesome. Fiery_Sapphire: Fellow Pokemon-loving GAD-sufferer! <3 AbruptlyMystical: I had that exact same problem, down to the "too scared to tell my mom" bit. The only reason she found out about mine was because I was mid-attack and suddenly got the feeling that my parents were going to die. So I went and crawled into their bed, and told my mom why (since I was 17 at the time, so an explanation for getting in their bed with them was sort of necessary). She took me to the doctor, and I got diagnosed. It was hard to tell her about it, but after I did, it was soooo much better. My family just thought I was weepy and anti-social, and now they accept that it's an actual issue.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 00:53:43 +0100

So. Le psych says I have no reason to go. And it would be a waste of money. So. Yeah. I think I'm doing okay-er now, anyway.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 00:56:39 +0100

Well, my problem was fairly obvious from a pretty young age. I would have panic attacks if something wasn't exactly as I needed it to be. Then, there was the bipolar. What finally made me get help, though, was attempting suicide. If you can't right-out ask for help/tell someone you need it, maybe you could "accidentally" leave this thread open and walk away? While your mom is walking by, of course.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 00:58:29 +0100

Just thought this should be said: OH MY MOTHER OF PANDA AND POKEMON! NANO STARTS IN TEN DAYS! TEN! 1 0! 10!!! /Prepare for weepy posts about how my novel will never ever ever be great./

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 01:36:19 +0100

As long as you're not suicidal, duh, you shouldn't go.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 01:38:07 +0100

My Mom's bipolar. I grew up knowing what it was. It didn't take me long to realize what was going on in my head. Told Mom. Went to psych. Been in and out of offices and hospitals since.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 04:06:44 +0100

Theycallmealice, I agree. "what does my voice taste like?" "how about mine?!" is getting so annoying. Turns out this girl heard me telling my friends (hey finally understand! ^.^) and decided "Hey! I'd better go post it on Twitter! (I don't have Twitter, but one of my friends who does found it. ) My mom doesn't really know about my synesthesia or anxiety, but she does know about the ADHD.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DrivingMishCrazy — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 08:35:29 +0100

So, my dad pretty much found out that I am/was cutting, and he was surprisingly understanding about it. I guess it's kind of a relief. Except he says that my mom *needs* to know, and that terrifies me, because even though I know she loves me, her moods have been so unpredictable lately, her reaction (aside from the obvious pain/sadness) is a mystery. I'm just afraid that it's going to end horribly.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 13:28:34 +0100

However it happens, you'll still have him. That's one person on your side that you didn't have yesterday.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Day.In.Everyones.Shoes — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 20:43:14 +0100

@theycallmeAlice: When my OCD became a huge problem, it was pretty obvious for me too. Especially because I felt the need to confess all of my bad thoughtrs, and people could tell I was freaking out about something. But really, when it got to the point that I couldn't function, I think my family and I just realized the need to figure it out and get help. Also, that sounds like a really good idea--leave hints if you're too nervous about telling others, and either your parents will put the pieces together, or you'll become confident enough about hints that being more open won't seem so scary.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

rainstorm. — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 21:41:06 +0100

I have syn (different kind than you though) but only a few people know. :D That is, one friend, and my cousin, and my brother. My parents don't even know. xD

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

petrichorandbowties — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 23:18:44 +0100

I'm bipolar and ADD. Makes life interesting, let me tell you. Hugs for you all, I'm so glad this thread is here!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Tigers Eyes — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 23:50:43 +0100

*raises hand* have I already posted? I don't think so... Well, other than chronic forgetfulness, I have been diagnosed with anxiety, and self diagnosed with slight depression. It... can make life hard. Anyone else have to take medicine?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

petrichorandbowties — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 23:53:06 +0100

I do for the bipolar disorder, but not for ADD yet. Mom wants me to try school without it (right, because I haven't given at least 4 years of proof that that doesn't work. But whatever.)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 00:23:44 +0100

I'm supposed to. But I recently stopped. I prefer to be unmedicated during NaNo. My meds leech all of my creativity and turn me into a personified robot. Or zombie. But hey, at least the zombie ain't trying to kill herself. *shrugs*

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

nate_wulf — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 01:22:22 +0100

I'm Nate... I have depression issues and I just "graduated" from therapy but not the meds. If it weren't for some anxiety issues I'd try out for drama with how good I've been lying. Err, mean acting. I'm physically not dangerous but....my mind's a different story. So I don't think much about lying right now. I also have a bit of OCD but just some tendencies...I don't think it's enough for diagnosing and my doctor refrains from it. Out of it all the worst is a tie between depression and anxiety. Can anyone answer me something? Why is it that when you're getting better people tend not to listen to relapses in behavior??

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Minkii — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 01:35:15 +0100

Depression, anxiety, enlightened stress levels, possible OCD and well an array of other physical illnesses ( including CRPS/RSD ) but being crazy makes life fun, aye? Hi to all the other crazy teens doing NaNo!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Minkii — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 01:36:53 +0100

oh forgot to mention insomnia XD not sleeping only makes NaNo easier haha

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 03:13:21 +0100

*hugs* At least it's over now.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 03:15:10 +0100

woo!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jayne2 — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 03:29:15 +0100

Hi guys :). I have OCD and Dermatillomania, with possible Bipolar (it also runs in my family, all the more reason to think the possibility + initial symptoms) but I don't particularly want a diagnosis on this, because I'm not big on the though of anti-depressants.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 03:42:24 +0100

You don't necessarily need meds if you're bi-polar. One of my friends is bi-polar, and rarely takes medication of any sort.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Conich — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 03:58:58 +0100

Hey guys! I have undiagnosed OCD (everyone in my family believes I am, but I have not been tested), mild bi-polar disorder, and possible depression. Makes everything very interesting.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 04:46:16 +0100

You can live without them, yes, but it's not very recommended. Having no possible way to even begin to control your episodes is a very dangerous thing. But, hey, I can't really say anything. I stop taking mine for at least 70% of the year.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

petrichorandbowties — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 05:20:42 +0100

It depends on how severe it is. I can function without mine, but it's really not a good idea; I'm pretty much unstable if I go without meds for even a day or two, so yeah, it just depends.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Kyaerin — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 05:41:05 +0100

major OCD, minor ADHD, and mild depression (:

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

MicahMischief — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 06:46:55 +0100

I'm Bipolar, ADHD, and perhaps just a tiny tiny bit OCD. But I know what makes me happy.. so I have an idea on how to treat my bipolarity without meds. Certain art, certain songs/bands, and talking with friends always makes me REALLY happy.. so I know how to stop a depressive mood swing quickly.. and how to stay in a better mood.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

MicahMischief — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 06:47:39 +0100

Ohh.. and does Dyslexia count?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

chislarina — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 07:06:33 +0100

Hey, I'm Paige. I'm bipolar, and it's taken a severe toll on me the past two years. I rarely talk about it, because I don't like people asking if I'm ok all the time. I am determined not to take medication for it, because even though I hate how the bipolar makes me I wouldn't want to change how I am. I do take other measures to counteract the worst of it, all the little things that the professionals suggest to keep me stable. Mostly it works, although at times I'm unbearable. I promised my friends that if the depressive periods got too much I would take medication, and I think its mostly them that have helped me through it so far. It doesn't affect my life too much, which is good. I find that if I focus on the world around me, it doesn't get me down as much. Although it is rather confusing the days I'm upset situationally on one of the highs... I still haven't learned to adapt to that. So yeah, that's my little bit of insanity. And I wish everyone the best :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DrivingMishCrazy — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 07:22:42 +0100

I know, I'm just...tired, I guess, of feeling like I cause my family so much pain.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 10:21:13 +0100

I might be going off of my meds pretty soon here, again. The Lamictal has been knocking me out so hard. I sleep for twelve hours, and usually need more. Worst part is, I don't move around very much, and my body is extremely fragile, so I wake up with my neck throbbing, my back aching, and my shoulders completely numb. =/ Also, I can't get on any hormonal birth control while taking Lamictal, it'll make the BC less effective (and the BC will make the Lamictal less effective >.<). While my boyfriend and I are very careful and always use condoms (changing condoms if they slip or break, though breaking has only happened once.), we're both still very paranoid about it. And my periods are veeeeerrrryyyyyy heavy and much more painful than they should be. Like, I'm bedridden for the second and third days, and suicidal the days before I start and through much of the period itself. So, hormonal birth control is the only option to make this all any better, aside from, y'know, a hysterectomy. Which I a) can't get, due to the youngness and non-illness, and b) wouldn't want because while periods are evil, I quite like having a sex drive, however raging it may sometimes be. So. Yeah. I've got an appointment with my psych on the first, if I can afford to pay for the visit. If not, I'll make one for late November/early December. Hopefully I can keep the appointment, though, because I really want to get off of the Lamictal and switch to something else as soon as possible. Birth control is a necessity. I've gone too long having sex without it. /end TMI ramblings.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Day.In.Everyones.Shoes — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 19:52:26 +0100

Oh, sorry, didn't see your response! I'm on 30 milligrams of generic Prozac, and have been pretty consistently since I was diagnosed. :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Day.In.Everyones.Shoes — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 20:15:09 +0100

Well, in my experience with my OCD waxing and waning in severity, people tend to tolerate it a little less sometimes because it's that "well, you've kicked it once, you can kick it again. Just do the same things you did last time to get over it." It's hard for other people to walk in the shoes of people they don't fully understand. If you mean listen to relapses in behavior as in why people don't see dips in progress, it's probably because they assume that if you've been doing well and then revert, it's just a phase and they'll get out of it and wind up better than before. And like I said above, it's not so easy to fight relapsing behavior because the same tools don't always work as well the second time. Nice to meet you Nate, hope NaNo and November will be fun! :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

spiffy_light — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 20:20:01 +0100

Hi *waves*, I'm Spiffy & have depression and Adjustment Defincy Disorder. I don't bite. Haha. Yeah I got the insanity from horrible things I experienced since I was 12. =/

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

blank_sheet_of_paper13 — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 20:23:30 +0100

I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to do NaNo this year because I'm panicking so much I can't think straight and I definitely can't write anything. Sometimes I try to talk about it with my friends but they're just like, "it's NaNo, it doesn't have to be good! Save the editing for December!" But they don't get that my brain just doesn't work like that. I can't string two words together anymore without my brain immediately spiraling off in a million different directions, all of which involve some form of "you're worthless and you have no future," etc. I'm focusing all my energy on not getting worse at this point; I can't afford to sacrifice any. And I have no right to be as upset about this as I am. *headdesk*

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

lundstorm — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 21:05:17 +0100

I take beta blockers to get less affected by stress. Works fine so far, no big side effects at all. Feels good, man.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Unil — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 23:00:14 +0100

Severe depression and PTSD. Fun times. |:

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 00:32:04 +0100

So. I had one helluva night last night. I was fine, then the next minute I have a whole bottle of pills in my mouth. I spit them out and stuff, but still. Also, I'm being reevaluated. Le psych is thinking possible schizophrenia. Since I see and hear stuff that doesn't exist. Or that did exist, but is now dead. I always thought it was just the Bipolar, but maybe not. We shall see.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

The_Black_Cat — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 01:13:10 +0100

Hm... MPD, Anxiety, Depression I'm not that awesome.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

The_Black_Cat — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 01:13:40 +0100

Also since I can't edit.... I see ghosts.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 02:55:38 +0100

I see ghosts, too! Well, ghost. My ex-girlfriend (to put it simply) Stephanie. Do yours talk?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 03:02:11 +0100

My flashbacks are like . . . well. I'll be doing something, and someone will say something, do something (or maybe neither.), and I'll begin to see that even flow over my vision. Sometimes, I'm still aware that it's not actually happening, but other times . . . I'll see, feel, hear, smell . . . everything that was happening at that time. Sometimes I go catatonic. Sometimes I don't. And god forbid anyone tries to touch me . . .

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

MorbidIrony — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 03:11:09 +0100

Hey, I'm Andy. I have PTSD, and OCD. The PTSD is going really well though. Opted for no meds, and went with EMDR instead. Still have my days though, and things will leave me crying for hours. I can live with it though, and I found ways to get my mind off of it. As far as the OCD goes, I'm hopeless. If something isn't right, I completly lose focus on the task at hand and obsess over it. The worst is my plate at meal time. Once I begin eating, my plate can not move. If it does, I feel tense the rest of the meal. Sometimes I won't be able to finish eating. It's bad. So, that's about it.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

SamiSalvo — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 04:09:41 +0100

Hi!!!!! I'm Sami. i'm OCD, depressed, and have severe anxiety. I haven't actually been tested but that's mostly because I neither like nor trust doctors to tell me about myself. I also have deeply ingrained trust issues, but that's not actually medical.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 15:46:38 +0100

What's EMDR?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

catrienstardust — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 17:07:14 +0100

Catrien, Bipolar, Clinically depressed, and recovering(?) SI-er. If that's not a term, it is now. I love this thread. Crazies unite.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Unil — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 00:24:09 +0100

Glad to see the EMDR worked for you! I had it too and it's worked similarly where I'm mostly fine, but have the odd off day. ^^

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

MorbidIrony — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 01:08:19 +0100

You're the first person I've met who went threw EMDR too. I was such a mess during it though. I think I scared my family.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Black_roses — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 01:25:38 +0100

Glad to see I'm not the only OCD NaNoer here. Pure-O, mostly. I might possibly be Borderline, Bipolar or clinically Depressed, I'm not sure. Also kind of a hypochondriac. Every mole I find on my body I assume is skin cancer. :P I'm glad I found this thread :D

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

sofzapmadd — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 01:27:03 +0100

It's the same with Seasonal Affective Disorder, it makes SAD, I thought it was slightly funny

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

sofzapmadd — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 01:32:37 +0100

Hey, I'm Sofia. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, and Trich. I'm on Effexor and I have been for about two years not counting breaks. I'm pretty stable, but my psychologist wants me to be stable for at least 6 months before she even considers tweaking the meds. I'm willing to provide support, advice or help for anyone who needs it.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Atlas Aurora — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 03:25:56 +0100

Hey, I'm Melia. I have Major Depression, OCD, Bulimia, Anorexia, ADD, and SAD. I also self-injure, and I'm bi-polar. I believe that's it.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

wizardingpotato — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 03:43:43 +0100

Hi.... I'm Lauren. 14, ADHD, Mild depression, learning disorders rampant, mild dyslexia, generalized anxiety disorder, possibly Aspergers, and that's about it... I forgot chronic insomnia, that's all now... I once took medications for ADHD. They made me feel awful, and I lost weight on them, and it just wasn't pleasant. Now, I'm off of them, and I'm much better off. So... yeah... 'Sup?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

suchasoftersin — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 03:49:03 +0100

I'm bipolar/manic depressive. :c

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 04:23:06 +0100

Welcome to the fold, Jeckyll/Hyde-afflicted comrade! *hands a bottle of pop and a cupcake*

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

The_Black_Cat — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 04:29:06 +0100

Most of the times, I had one throw a book at me as well!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

almostalice — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 04:32:11 +0100

I have Bipolar. Do you guys know about "The Balanced Mind foundation"?? It's for teens and twenty somethings with mental illnesses. And there was a podcast where I was interviews. Search it. You know you want to. http://www.thebalancedmind.org/

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

SimbaDarling — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 04:45:19 +0100

Hello all. I'm Simba. I have, PTSD (I can't be around knives because of it), anxiety, claustrophobia, sever depression, eating disorders, I self depreciate, I've attempted suicide more times than I can count, I SI, I unintentionally make up storiesabout things that happen and think it's real, but I always make things better than they really are. I have ADHD and slight dyslexia. My home life sucked and involved some things that caused some of these. Oh, and I have seperation anxiety. (Sorry, I have issues staying on one thought process, so my thoughts are everywhere)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

PheonixSong — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 10:53:11 +0100

I have Aspurgers too. I've got it mild, but I'm getting to see a specialist. (Honestly, I don't need them. If they think I'm going to tell them my deepest secrets like the last one, THEIR the crazy one.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

asiyah123 — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 20:43:57 +0100

I burned yesterday. My grandma said something to me about how I always think I know everything and some other things about why I always speak for my mom. In my mind I was screaming," If you don't want me to freakin speak for her then why do you always ask me questions you should ask her?" But I just went into the bathroom and had one of my,"Screaming attacks." as I like to call them and ...whatever. I won't get truly upset about anything for a couple of days now.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

LaurenHasCombusted — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 20:59:02 +0100

Possibly PTSD, Grapheme Color synesthesia, spatial sequence synesthesia, mood color synesthesia, Ordinal-linguistic personification synesthesia, number form synesthesia, sound color synesthesia, tactical dysfunction, and last but not least, auditory dysfunction. :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

spiffy_light — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 21:12:26 +0100

I can hear stuff as well, like a conversation with people about me. I talk to them, and can see them, but they aren't there. It's really strange. Been like that since I was younger. People, like my doctor, said it was a serious thing and linked it back to me having Adjustment Defincy Disorder.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 00:34:56 +0100

Another wrimo with synesthesia! Now there's... 5? Unless there was another after me... Anyways, hi!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

MorbidIrony — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 00:58:30 +0100

I have PTSD too, ans because of it I can't step foot in a hospital, and for the longest time I would get extreme anxiety if a room was painted yellow. PTSD does some weird things.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leighquinn — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 01:11:18 +0100

I'm Erinne. I have the whole depression, anxiety and bipolar aspect that runs in my family....i have mild OCD, but its only triggered by really odd things, one of which is out of order books, which kind of throws my teachers for a loop when i have to get up in class to fix them...i guess they got used to it. And umm well i have schitzophrenia, BUT of course i can't tell that unless i am on my meds...fruity i know :) Hahaha i wish i had something cool like Synesthesia, that seems like an awesome thing to have...at least for a little while.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

LaurenHasCombusted — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 01:20:06 +0100

Woooo! Hiiiii :D

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

LaurenHasCombusted — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 01:25:10 +0100

I have like...7 types of synesthesia hahah, it's cool knowing I'm not the only awesome one on here :P

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

thehealthyalternative — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 01:36:47 +0100

So my psychiatrist started me on Abilify today. I'm only on 2mg so far but yeah. I'm really nervous about side effects /:

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Marichosa — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 16:10:28 +0100

Hey guys! I'm Alexa, just another crazy little teen WriMo. I have trichotillomania, dermotillomania, mild, but still present general anxiety and cyclothymia. I'm trying to recover from trich (just this year, I got rid of my wig), but derm and anxiety are still at large. I try not to let those things get to me though :) Hope to talk to you all soon!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

wdrichardson — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 19:47:48 +0100

Hi, Umm, well I have been reading this and its pretty intense. You're all throwing around such technical terms for disorders that are pretty serious. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe you're just different, or have some strange quirks, or feel down sometimes. I dunno, maybe its just me that thinks this; I'm completely 'healthy' but I've felt completely crap in my life a few times. Just an idea, maybe you should think about it. Maybe it is better to just accept and medicate; I don't know.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

asiyah123 — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 20:52:51 +0100

Um, a lot of people here(including me) feel crappy all the time. When I was four or five I drew a picture of my mom hitting me and then one of me killing myself. There hasn't been a time in my life that I remember when I HAVEN'T hated myself. The fact that you've only felt crappy sometimes in your whole life is so normal I would like to scream. I mean no offense by this just that the mind is a fragile thing if you feel like something is wrong the research,talk to someone if you can. Do something. Women supposedly get depressed at least once in their life.Usually it goes away. And people who are mental ill don't like medication but if what we have is serious then we might have too.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

blank_sheet_of_paper13 — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 22:49:52 +0100

I have synesthesia, too. :) I don't think there's a word for my kind, though.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

petrichorandbowties — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 23:05:52 +0100

One, yeah, we're throwing technical terms around. It's a thread for people with mental issues. Of course there's gonna be technical terms. We're not diagnosed with "that thing where you have severe mood swings." There are terms for these things for a reason. Two, look, I think we know more about what is in our heads than you do. Maybe it IS "pretty serious." Also, yeah, being bipolar makes me different: it makes me different in a way that's dangerous to myself and others. If you're healthy, as you put it, then what are you doing here? It may not have been intended this way but you come across like you're telling us there's nothing really wrong with us. Maybe there are some posers. Who knows. That's their business, not mine. All I know is that being "healthy" doesn't qualify you to come in and tell us that absolutely everyone deals with crushing depression or schizophrenia or PTSD sometimes. Now on to this: "Maybe it is better to just accept and medicate; I don't know." I feel like this is implying that we're perfectly normal but we just don't feel like dealing with our "quirks." Medication isn't for everyone. There can be pretty severe side effects. Like I said, there may be posers, but dear Lord I know I didn't just "give up." It took me a month and a pretty severe "low" to finally decide to medicate. Even then I was against the idea because of the stigma. So please, know what you're talking about before you come in here.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Marichosa — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 23:19:07 +0100

Amen to this post. Seriously. My feelings all summed up. Right there.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

petrichorandbowties — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 23:21:17 +0100

Ahahaha thanks. I was hoping I came across as coherent. I tend forget language when I'm angry.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Day.In.Everyones.Shoes — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 23:38:58 +0100

Most people, if asked, would probably say this, so I'm not going to be angry that you're curious about our issues. :) It's hard for people to walk in the shoes of others who have chemical imbalances or traumatic experiences behind their problems. I know (and knew) in my case, I wasn't quirky; I was desperate to be normal, in fact. My OCD kept horrible thoughts swarming my brain constantly, and I felt as though no one on earth thought these things, and everyone would hate me and find me despicable and disgusting if they knew, which was very isolating. It got to the point where the images in my head were so terrible I couldn't eat or focus or relax. My point is, "quirky" doesn't constitute mental breakdowns, and when I learned I had OCD, I cried with the happiness of someone who had just found out hope was not lost for her, that other people did think those things and become overwhelmed with them, just like me. Medication-wise, I'm on medication in order to have the same amounts of certain brain chemicals as healthy people. I don't think of it as something that makes me less of a fighter with my illness, or some sign of weakness. I accept my illness because ignoring it did me no good. I know we're all very intense, wdrichardson, and I'd like this thread to be accepting of questions about mental illnesses; there are stigmas and there are misconceptions, and I'd like to be able to get rid of both without being harsh. :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 23:47:29 +0100

petrichandbowties, sums up my thoughts about the post above you exactly. -_-

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 23:52:26 +0100

What is it?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 23:55:09 +0100

Happy news! My social phobia usually makes me too scared to walk down the street to where my mom works by myself. I forgot my housekey this morning and when I got home from school I had to go get hers. I walked all the way there and all the way back. No panic attack :D

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 23:57:40 +0100

You were definitely coherent. I love you for this post.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 00:03:11 +0100

Pretty cool ^-^

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Unil — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 00:15:50 +0100

I totally know where you're coming from. Everything better now though? (You're the first person I've met who has had EMDR too, actually. :O)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

petrichorandbowties — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 00:22:51 +0100

That's awesome :D Congratulations!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Day.In.Everyones.Shoes — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 00:58:21 +0100

Rock on! *high-fives* :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 02:22:37 +0100

Congrats! :D

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leighquinn — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 03:22:52 +0100

Thank you so much for that. I guess me and my "quirks" are cool here.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 09:25:04 +0100

LMAO. You're cute. *pats you on the head*

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Marichosa — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 11:28:48 +0100

Woo! Awesome! :D

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

wdrichardson — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 15:04:29 +0100

Sorry for provoking such a response - I really didn't mean to stigmatise/trivialise/question the validity of mental illnesses. What I meant was that these are, just like you've pointed out, very serious illness, and to read about young people listing of several *undiagnosed* mental illness, does to me seem like a trivialisation. Of course, you are at harm to yourself and others while not medicated/treated I am seriously opposed to that. But for the younger ones, or even just the more ignorant ones, I think that one can mislead themselves. As an analogy, if I experienced weight loss, fatigue and allergy-like systems, I could come to the conclusion that I have Mast Cell Leukaemia - a rare terminal disease that I unlikely have. To your comment about everyone: most people experience depression at some severity during their lives, so it *could* be possible that you're just in a really shit situation, not dealing with a chronic disease. I was great friends with a girl that had a terrible break up with her boyfriend and was then diagnosed with depression, then after months of treatment and medication she had gotten over it but no one believed her because they all thought she was still depressive. She stopped taking her meds and was fine ever since. Its not that *you* don't know what your feeling, its the tests to work out what it is your suffering from. Sorry for intruding on this thread.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Nicoletta Reich — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 15:25:25 +0100

Yeah, pretty much same here...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 17:45:00 +0100

Thing is, the symptom of depression is depression. If you're not depressed, you don't have it. Because you're depressed doesn't mean you have depression, however, it's not a matter of medication. It can be, but most of the time, it isn't. Take myself for example, I'm manic depressive, aka bipolar. I can't take antidepressants. No matter how legitimately, clinically depressed I am, I absolutely cannot take them. Because they do nothing whatsoever to help. All they do is send me into a(nother) manic episode. It doesn't mean my depression isn't "real." It's medical. It's fucking terminal, clinically speaking. Manic depression is considered to be, by psychiatrists and doctors, a terminal illness, because three out of five people with it kill themselves, to say nothing whatsoever of those who try and fail. Whether or not one person's depression is clinical isn't really relevant. It may not be a mental illness per se, but it's still a serious issue that needs to be brought to attention and dealt with accordingly. If it takes someone thinking they have a mental illness to get the help they need, so be it.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

kittygirl27 — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 18:50:07 +0100

I'm really glad to see that this is such a friendly thread! You can call me Kitty.. or Ninja... or just 'hey you with the face' or whatever. I'm schizophrenic, but I'm (at present) the only one who acknowledges it. I haven't seen a psychiatrist, but I mean... i hear voices, so I'm pretty sure that means I have schizophrenia. But I'm proud of it. It makes me unique, and it helps me deal with my life. And having silent conversations can be pretty fun sometimes, because I don't talk to them out loud. But, still... noone else knows except for me, and I doubt I'd trust a psychiatrist enough to talk to them about it. So instead I tell you guys. (even I don't understand my logic...) Oh. And Gabe says hi.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

te-occidere-possunt — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 20:23:53 +0100

I love this thread already, is that bad? :') I have Cyclothymia, EDNOS and Synesthesia (words -> colours) ... Hello :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

te-occidere-possunt — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 20:26:51 +0100

I have Synesthesia too :D Hellooo

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leighquinn — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 21:15:14 +0100

Great job!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

thehealthyalternative — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 21:31:42 +0100

Don't diagnose yourself. I don't mean to be rude or harsh, but trust me. Do not diagnose yourself. Coming from someone who is not only a second year psychology student but who has also been dealing with mental illness her whole life, it is one of the most dangerous things you can do to diagnose yourself. Just because you hear voices does not mean you're schizophrenic, and to go around saying you are isn't the best thing to do simply because you'll convince yourself that that's what the deal is when it might not be. There are many other disorders that can involve hearing voices. And to be diagnosed with schizophrenia, there's more to it than just hearing voices. So please don't diagnose yourself. Trust me- I diagnosed myself with bipolar and ended up making myself way worse than I would have been otherwise. I just stressed myself out with it. Also, if you were truly schizophrenic, you wouldn't have fun with it. Schizophrenia is a terrifying and debilitating disease. I really hope I didn't come off condescending or patronizing. I just don't want anyone to do what I did which was almost kill myself with worry and anxiety over a mental illness that I perceived much differently than what actually was. <333

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

petrichorandbowties — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 22:32:28 +0100

Thank you for this. And yeah, if you're depressed, then you're depressed. You may get over it with the help of therapy and such, but you were still depressed at one point and that's a serious issue.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

petrichorandbowties — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 22:39:09 +0100

^This. Basically, 'till you've seen a psychiatrist, you can think you're schizophrenic or have it as a possibility but try not to be completely sure without having sought help. At first I thought I might have just depression (I thought everyone got those same highs, and at the time I didn't know anything about bipolar disorder, which was what I ended up having.) The voices may be what schizophrenia is most known for, but it's more than that. (I think it involves paranoia and such as well...? Correct me if I'm wrong.) If you hear voices, then chances are you're welcome here anyway, so welcome :D Good luck with NaNo, and I'm glad you're dealing so well!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

petrichorandbowties — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 22:39:33 +0100

Looks cool :) Thanks for the link!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

petrichorandbowties — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 22:44:12 +0100

Don't worry too much, I was worried about the side effects of the medicine I got on last year and nothing's happened :) I was tired at first but that was mostly just the adjustment period, I think. So yeah, good luck!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 23:01:29 +0100

7 with synesthesia! Wecome! I have letters./numbers/sounds ---> taste/color. I've found that gum actually helps with the taste thing, is it the same with anyone else?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Mirage Knight — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 00:05:07 +0100

IDK if this is a brand of insanity, but I have ADHD, Doc cheeked. It make for very inting writing, at one minute the idea come to me and i want to sit down and write but cant, other time i sit down to write but nothing comes. Got to love having ADHD, so fun.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

ronnieonnieonie — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 03:31:00 +0100

Hiya guys, Ronnie here. Major Depression, Attention Deficit Disorder and an EDNOS. The first two since I was twelve. Yeah. Hello!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

ronnieonnieonie — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 03:35:04 +0100

Also, didn't diagnose myself. I go to the psychiatrist every two weeks and supposedly take some pills (which I ditch because I hate it when my mood has to depend on something that is not me). The EDNOS though, that is something that I recently discovered about myself and I have not told the psychiatrist. -sigh- anyway, I look too fat to actually have an ED.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 04:20:19 +0100

Uh. Hi new guys. So. I think I'm going to end up going to the hospital. I've been having this bullying problem, both for my mental status and my sexual orientation), and I feel as though I need to get myself somewhere safe. Now, I know that if I just isolated myself completely (no phone, no internet, no socialization), I would be able to deal with this myself; keep myself safe. I kind of just feel that in order for something to be done about this, something extreme needs to happen. I brought the bullying thing up with my principal, but she warped my words into making it my fault. Apparently, I go around "draped around girls" and "flaunting my sexuality". Uh. I haven't had a girlfriend in a pretty long time, and I can barely stand being touched when alone; let alone in public. The principal is homophobic. Bullying is supposed to get the bully 10 days suspension and a police report, but the criteria is "Saying something to someone that causes them to think about doing something to themselves they otherwise wouldn't." The principal is using that against me. She says that since I am a SH, and have been in the hospital multiple times for non-bullying matters, there is no proof that these people are actually hurting me. Which is not fair. My self harm is a control thing; a lifeline. I don't do it because I'm upset that some moron is picking on me. I could care less, really. It's just . . . my rights as an American citizen are not being fulfilled. That's not fair to me, and it's not fair to others like me. SO, long post short, I'm going to commit myself tomorrow. I'll stay the three days, see if the principal does anything. Maybe get my meds adjusted to something that doesn't turn me into a mindless zombie. If she doesn't do anything, I'm taking it to court. I'm sick of being treated less than I deserve because of things out of my control. /end rant/

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 04:23:27 +0100

Another one with synesthesia? Huh. That's pretty cool. I have sound>color, color>taste. So, basically, I hear a sound, see the color, and then taste that color.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 04:24:19 +0100

If my mouth is occupied with something, I tend to not taste my colors. I usually have peppermint or some kind of hard candy with me.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

almostalice — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 06:54:41 +0100

If you listened to my podcast, you'll know I was super, super nervous about taking my meds. I even stopped after a while. The worst side effect for me was a bit of dried skin, but really, they are worth it!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

almostalice — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 06:58:44 +0100

Hospitalisation is a serious business. I was in there for three months, and it was hell. Bullying of people with a mental illness IS NOT acceptable at all. We all need to stand up to this. I really think you should listen to zee podcast D:

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Mirage Knight — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 15:25:58 +0100

wow, I'm so sorry thats terrible, Good luck, I hope it works out, wow, just wow

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 15:52:02 +0100

You've got every right to take this to court, love. If the principal or school district won't do a damn thing, then you have to take matters into your own hands. Whether or not you're a lesbian or mentally ill is irrelevant to your right to a safe, unbiased school career. Being bullied, by your peers or your principal, can not be tolerated. Take it to the school district. If they won't act, find an attorney and take them with you to the school district. I guarantee they'll turn their arses around once you bring the law into this. As for the hospitalization, you know my stance on it. I'm truly sorry you couldn't go, but I understand why. You wouldn't be safe with V around. It defeats the purpose of going. *hugs tight* I love you.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

PolyesterSpork — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 19:59:09 +0100

Hiya, I'm Maia! I've got a lovely smattering of OCD, in which I don't mind if my room is a complete tip, but absolutely EVERYTHING has to be alphabetised (eg books or DVDs) or sorted by colour (eg clothes or nail varnish) and I get really upset if my orders are messed up. For totally unrelated reasons I also have quite a large helping of bipolar, in which the depressions seriously outweigh the manically happy sprees. I also have Spacial Synesthesia, though I'm not sure if that counts as a mental illness. But basically I see number lines or sequences, likes days of the week or months of the year, laid out in certain patterns in front of me. Luckily none of these are too bad to deal with and I dont have to take a lots of medication, but it's nice to see some people coping with similar things! Good luck everyone XD

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Squids of Mars — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 22:15:18 +0100

Name's Alex. PTSD, OCD (my shrink used to think it was pure-O, but nope), natural multiplicity, depression (but not currently in an episode).

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

petrichorandbowties — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 22:25:20 +0100

I'm really sorry to hear about that. Honestly, some people are just ignorant. And yeah, if you feel like she's that bad then definitely take it to court. Everyone deserves to have a school environment they won't feel harassed in. Plus, that's a really bad definition of bullying.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

te-occidere-possunt — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 23:01:24 +0100

Oh wow... That sounds far more exotic than mine :D Can I ask you what 'red' tastes like? I'm so curious and imagining Skittles right now, haha! :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 01:30:08 +0100

I was bullied in grade 7 because of my anxiety issues, the principal said some really nasty things about it, like "Well, I guess you shouldn't have let people know, huh now?" or "Stop that *Junk* you know you don't have 'anxiety' disorders." She said some... even worse... things too. I told my parents and we ended up taking her to court. We won. @polyesterspork, I didn't know about spacial synesthesia! I might actually have that, but I didn't know it was a type of synesthesia... ^-^

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

MarBar23 — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 01:31:03 +0100

Oh my, I love you people. I'm Marrisa. I'm 19. And I have...... no freaking idea what the heck is wrong with me. Last Thursday I had a panic attack early in the morning & I being a stupid idiot took two of my brothers pills. I vomited them up & went to the ER. I'm NOT suicidal. I know that much. I ended up telling my mom EVERYTHING & that helped me so much. I'm not ready to type out my whole story. Maybe one day I will. My mom knows & thats enough for me right now. So now I'm going to live at home another year & go to therapy. Yay.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

xXxrouxXx — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 03:01:06 +0100

I've...um...I really don't like posting in Forums...:/ (need to get out of my shell :/) I am 16. I have Narcolepsy/Non 24 hour sleep wake syndrome (they are still diagnosing), Memory problems caused by an accident I can't remember anything before I was 10...ish, OCD, PTSD...depression and anxiety...I have panic attacks about everything that scares me, mainly Claustrophobia, Also have DID and Schizophrenia...I'm pretty messed up....and I stutter/leave large gaps when I'm talking and have large blanks in current memory...mainly because of the Schizophrenia and DID...and suffer from loads of flashbacks and depressive episodes in which I want to kill myself, and I don't like eating...but that's also caused by normal health problems not mental....my friends think I'm just weird when I blank them or change languages or emotions... Wow...seeing it all written out like that makes me feel like a freak :/ And that's just the mental problems...:/

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

xXxrouxXx — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 03:47:15 +0100

I forgot the ADHD...they need an edit on this...:/

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TheExtraEmily — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 03:49:57 +0100

I've been diagnosed with depression and an eating disorder, but I'm pretty sure I have ADD. -.....- So convenient. So glad to see so many people open with their problems :3 hugs. x

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TheExtraEmily — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 03:51:23 +0100

NANOWRIMO PEOPLE PLEASE GIVE US AN EDIT OPTION. Oh - that was meant to be ADHD not ADD. >.<

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

xXxrouxXx — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 03:53:44 +0100

Hehe...*hugs* I'm not usually open with my problems...it helps when other people are as well ADHD and depression are never good together... x

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

xXxrouxXx — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 03:54:08 +0100

Haha! I agree :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

LizardBoyd77 — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 21:13:09 +0100

Hey! I've got undiagnosed mild depression, along with some slightly OCD-ish tics. :) Just glad to see that I'm not alone! Love y'all!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Stasi — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 21:21:32 +0100

I have Synesthesia too! But you already knew that, Lec. Actually, I was tweeting with a bunch of other, published writers who had it/ thought it was really cool.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Stasi — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 21:23:00 +0100

Mine is mainly color/taste, and sight/color.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

psychopath — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 04:52:59 +0000

I'm Emily (: I'm crazy, diagnosed, and medicated. I'd like to leave it at that for a while! Nice to meet you all.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TheLiteraryMaiden — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 04:59:23 +0000

Used to have some pretty bad OCD. Still acts up around certain things or places, but it's not as... restricting as it used to be. Still have ADD, but I'm a little more okay with that- helps me zone out and think of good stories. If procrastination is related to any mental diseases, I've got that BAD, but I don't think it is. XP

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Rensy — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 05:31:24 +0000

I'mm Rena~ I have Social Anxiety Disorder (which isn't too obvious online of course). I've had it for I'm not sure how long and it doesn't allow me to be as open as I want to. D: There's this insane, crazy, loud person trapped by a shy, frightened girl. ;_; t also gets in the way of making new friends and being about to talk to people, even people that are close to me. >: It especially screws me over when standing in front of the class to give a presentation or something. I absolutely HATE being the center of attention. T3T

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

jtnoodles — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 08:21:52 +0000

Twins. Also I have some reasons to believe I might be bipolar but I haven't worked up the courage to ask my parents to go to get diagnosed so I can be treated. also my ED isn't very constant. I need a buddy who'll remind me to take my pills cause uh.. I don't.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

ThatShan — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 13:15:05 +0000

Hey all, I'm Shan, I've been to the doctor's countless times with various different issues (although, against my will) and I've had a lot of different possible diagnoses thrown at me, the most common being manic depression, as well as various different anxiety and personality disorders, however, my doctor doesn't want to diagnose me with anything 'this early in life' so I've kinda be left to struggle through it at the moment. I'm also currently struggling with self harm and have been for about four years now as well as suicidal tendencies, I've attempted suicide 4 times now, the most recent being not long ago, but thankfully I had a wonderful, amazing, beautiful human being to pull me through. It's nice to see people being open with this stuff, it's kinda encouraging :3

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

LaurenDe — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 13:31:22 +0000

Hello wonderful people. Depression here, which is always fun. My psych is fairly crap because sometimes she says it's mild, and sometimes major. I'm on the lowest amount of meds at the moment, and I'm better off than I used to be, but I still have those moments. It was my really low point last year during november so I couldn't really focus on NaNo so I'm really hoping I can overcome my mind and get myself to do it this year. No one really ever talks about mental illness, at least not where I am, so it's kinda helpful seeing people in the same boat.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

indieellie — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 16:28:33 +0000

Hi everyone, I'm Ellie. I've recently been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, which my doctor assumes was triggered by stress and also by the deaths of two close family members at the beginning of this year, and I used to self-harm. I've been on Prozac for just over a month, and am being assigned to a counsellor. I also have some social and separation anxiety issues and mild obsessive compulsive tendencies. As well as these I suffer from insomnia, and I occasionally have panic attacks. I have problems opening up to people I don't know very well, and generally worry far too much about what others think of me. My depressive episodes tend to cause me to become incredibly self-depricating and pessimistic, and can be very difficult for people around me to deal with. All of this tends to be aggravated by the fact that I have horribly poor physical health which, puts me under quite a lot of stress at certain times. I know a handful of people offline who are in similar situations, but it's really reassuring to see people on here who are in the same boat and are willing to be open about what they're going through.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

JC_Cainstone — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 16:35:09 +0000

Hello everyone! I'm Amelia, and I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I'm not entirely sure what kind of illness that's classed as, but as it's all to do with the chemicals in my brain messing about, I figure it is a mental illness. My main symptoms are anxiety, depression, post-exertional fatigue, and annoying little things like brain fog, headaches, feeling inappropriately hot or cold. It makes NaNo pretty tough because a lot of the time I just don't have to energy to sit in front of a laptop after a day at uni, but I'm not one for giving up!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 00:56:36 +0000

'Kay, guys, I'm officially freaking out. I no longer have a plot. I decided to do my awesome one for CampNo instead. So now I have no idea what I'm writing. -wants to give up-

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

babblebop — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 01:08:23 +0000

Undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome, some form of depression, undiagnosed panic disorder, and some condition that I have no idea what it is that sometimes my external senses just shut themselves off, only leaving me with enough consciousness of my surroundings that I can still walk around and not run into people or things, and people have to yell at me and get right up in my face to get my attention when I'm like this. It's apparently really weird. And I can't really remember things that happen when I'm in that state, which is really weird because I have a nearly eidetic memory and usually remember things in high quality, but when I go into this "mode" all my memories from then are just fuzzy blurs at best.. It's a shame that my parents don't believe in doctors, psychiatrists, therapists, or counselors. >_>

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

psychopath — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 02:20:20 +0000

There are people here with Synesthesia... OMG. I feel like a complete creeper, but my main character in my NaNo novel has that so I'm like "WOAH COOL". (x I hope I represent you guys well!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 02:26:33 +0000

I'm always interested in that sort of thing! What sort of synesthesia?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

LaurenDe — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 02:30:13 +0000

Don't give up! Why not just try to think up a few characters and then wing it with them?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

aidenandorinforever — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 03:20:45 +0000

I have ADD, but I'm not sure how severe it is. I also have Dyscalculia, a math learning disability. When I tried taking medication for the ADHD (For school and to make things easier on my mom) I felt like a totally different person. And not in the good way. The medicine made me depressed, it made me not want to eat anything, and it made me want to exercise excessively all the time. I dropped about 20 pounds in two weeks, which is not healthy AT ALL. I would start to cry at the most random times from my blood sugar getting too low but I just couldn't make myself eat. I am now off of the medication, a healthy weight again, and happy as can be! I still struggle daily with math but I'm slowly making progress. :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

bezthegeek — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 03:53:56 +0000

Okay, same thing for me O.o and same name! Small word, I guess XD

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

bezthegeek — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 03:54:12 +0000

*world >.<

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Netherworld_Inc — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 04:58:22 +0000

Aw, I'm so boring. Just major depression and social anxiety here.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Mylynn — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 05:45:06 +0000

Oh hai. I'm Torree, I have seasonal depression(which is currently in affect), and anxiety issues. Nice to meet you all!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DrivingMishCrazy — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 08:39:56 +0000

I feel really proud of myself for finding diversions today and resisting the urge to cut even though I was triggering hardcore. Of course, I also spent all night crying and wasn't able to even explain to my mother why my week has been so terrible, so...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

VivoRisataAmore — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 10:37:09 +0000

Hi, I'm Katie and I gravitate between having what I assume is depression or anxiety. I'm pretty gorram certain that it's anxiety but getting a diagnosis would mean telling my parents and I just couldn't. I feel so... plain, compaired to you all. But I guess that's a good thing, even though I miss out on all the fun.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

blank_sheet_of_paper13 — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 16:37:55 +0000

*hugs* Yay! I'm proud of you. I've been triggering all week so I know how hard it is to resist sometimes. But I haven't given in yet! *knock on wood*

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

FreakShowWalking — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 18:18:37 +0000

Hey, FreakShow here. An apt handle. Fifteen year old with (diagnosed) social phobia/general anxiety and related OCD, recurring bouts of depression (depression was diagnosed but bipolar has also been suggested), and memory issues. Childhood trauma. I also randomly get unexplained hallucinations/surges of extreme paranoia. I used to be attending sessions with a doctor and a psychologist but they made me feel even worse. Basically I spent months being patronized and feeling cornered, because I have no real idea what causes the anxiety or what triggers the depressive episodes. The one time they touched on the hallucinations was to ask me if I sometimes thought the people on tv were real and watching me. So yeah, I've been majorly put off further therapy. I've been studying at home, technically homeschooling, for the past... six-seven months now, which makes it somewhat easier to attempt nanowrimo. I don't mean to offend anyone, but would it be okay for me to say that I feel better knowing I'm not alone in some of these conditions?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 18:29:06 +0000

You're anything but plain. You said "gorram." Which means you more than likely have seen Firefly/Serenity. Which makes you AWESOME. No power in the 'verse can stop us.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

discordia — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 19:04:43 +0000

Ohai! I'm Lauren. Diagnosed Bipolar II, social anxiety. Uncomfirmed BPD. My mental illness unfortunately prevented me from attending college this year, so instead I'm slaving away in a call center. Which is great for the anxiety.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Day.In.Everyones.Shoes — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 03:05:21 +0000

I know I came off as idealistic, but I had no intention of being hilarious... :/

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

JuliaChapman97 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 04:51:11 +0000

Hey! As a former SI, I would say to try to get rid of your scars. It helps me a ton if I can't look at them. I've managed 10 months without relapsing. Another thing is to focus on why you are doing this. Depression? Anxiety? For me, it started when I was trying to impress a friend (NOT her friend anymore, and a stupid reason to start) but it got worse with my parents separating. Also, hide what you use to cut in a place that's hard to get to. It will make it easier to avoid if you can't find your instrument. (Can't think of a better word.)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DrivingMishCrazy — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 07:56:05 +0000

Hooray! 'm proud of you for not giving in. We can do it! Stay strong!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

VivoRisataAmore — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 11:00:54 +0000

*preens* Well, Firefly/Serenity are part of the holy trinity of awesomeness. Congratulations on being another awesome person too! That may just be my motto for the rest of NaNo now that you've reminded me... I might actually get it done!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

izzyhindle — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 12:11:13 +0000

Hello! I'm Izzy, a new WriMo. I have general depression and am currently on Zoloft, Social Anxiety Disorder, self-diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder, and something that some people consider a disorder, but it's not. It's called multiplicity/plurality. Some people think of it as MPD or DID, and I guess it's kind of like that but different.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

missanimefan — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 12:55:22 +0000

*blinkblink* Allo then. I'm Marika~ Diagnosed wise I have depression for sure. Which is a pain they switched medicine since I held little emotion for much. App. in 3 hours actually ='D

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

izzyhindle — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 13:03:15 +0000

Oh yes, and all of my conditions aren't 'officially diagnosed'. But the medicine is a pretty good indication of my depression, and my doctor mentioned SAD to me, and she has suspected it.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

エログロ — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 14:52:55 +0000

Hello people, I'm a chock full of assorted craziness. Can I rant a bit on topic, since I don't want to harass anyone else with this angst? UGH MY STUPID ANTHROPOLOGY PROFESSOR IS GOING TO DRIVE ME INSANE. Like, I emailed her a week before my test, saying that I get really detailed accommodations. So I'd have to get permission to take the test on a different date, since my schedule and the testing center's schedule are both insane. SHE JUST EMAILED ME LAST NIGHT SAYING IT WAS OKAY FOR ME TO TAKE THE TEST THE DAY AFTER. THAT'S IN TWO DAYS. THE TESTING CENTER NEEDS A WEEK IN ADVANCE, WHICH IS WHY I NOTIFIED HER SO EARLY. She was nice about it and everything, but I really don't want to get screwed again because of professors who are a bit unorganized. And it's not even multiple choice, which I can endure sans my special conditions. I took the last test normally, since my accommodations were still being verified, and only got a 75 and I know I can do better on an elective class. But I have a general appointment with a social worker in the disability offices in twenty minutes, so I guess I'll just see if she can help.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Robotnick2 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 15:42:33 +0000

Hi guys! Minor OCD here. Things have to be orderly, but only when they're ordered. For instance, my bedroom is... not exactly the tidiest of places, but my bookshelf is meticulously ordered by author :P Oh, and symmetry is nice. Also, mild synesthesia; Pitch -> Touch. It's like, when something's in key, or an exact pitch, it feels like it's fitting into the right hole, but when it's a bit off, it feels like it's either scraping the sides or missing altogether and just hitting the hole; except it feels like that in my head, not my hands... Not quite sure how to describe it in any other way. Hello crazy people, anyway :D

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 16:02:20 +0000

I just lost everything.D: I had 1700 words!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

izzyhindle — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 16:17:31 +0000

I just screwed up on Mock Trial and I feel like I'm about to have a breakdown...UGH UGH UGH.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

BellaStrange13 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 16:18:12 +0000

Hey guys. Beth here. Bipolar, ADHD, self harmer for 5+ years and I've got wicked social anxiety. Fellow, bipolars, which do you prefer? Manic-depression or bipolar? Personally, I like manic-depression cause it conveys the the chaos of the disorder. Plus bipolar seems to be used to much today, and how often do you hear someone describe the weather as 'manic-depressive'? But that's just me.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Drahcier Teragram — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 21:41:09 +0000

I've got ADD/ADHD, and some undiagnosed OCD....Jesus Christ saved me, and that's why I'm still alive today:) I don't usually complain about how annoying it is not to be able to focus on anything for more than three minutes, or about any of my other issues, but I get the feeling at least one person on here will understand...Maybe:)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 22:21:23 +0000

The school doesn't know about my mild ADHD and OCD, but in this form they put: Weaknesses: 1) Metacognitive thinking 2) Higher order thinking 3) Dealing with anxiety (Well, can't complain about this one. >.<) 4) Anger mangement skills 5) Something about reasoning and problem solving skills Needs: 1) Extra help with school work (I get at least an 80 in EVERY SINGLE CLASS and I'm in a bunch of AP classes) 2) Gestural and auditory cues (Explains why the teachers pay more attention to me. I am just SO freaking mad right now, I'm almost in tears right now. My teachers were paying more attention to me iin the past week, now I know why. NONE of this (Even the anxiety one; I know how to deal with it) is even CLOSE to fitting me. And, its just... they're implying I'm stupid in the form. They had some other stuff too, but I don't want to copy out the paragraphs. DX

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

blank_sheet_of_paper13 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 22:27:05 +0000

**Possible trigger warning** So I'm really distraught right now because I've just started writing and I've come to the realization that my story is triggering me to cut. Like, a lot. And at first I was like "lol whatever you're supposed to suffer for your art anyway" but I had a panic attack last night at three AM and started sawing at my arm with a pencil today in math class just from plotting my next chapter. I love the story and I love NaNo but I'm so close to the edge right now, I don't know if I can handle this. I don't know what to do. Help? Please? Anything?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 22:34:45 +0000

I'm being uber-sensitive to everything lately. I feel everything. Every. Thing. Which means I'm way more likely to be triggered. Which is bad. Because I'm always clean in November. It's usually not so cold. >.< The cold and I are not friends. It tends to make me flashback more than any of my other triggers. The thing is . . . 'm usually okay as long as I'm inside. Not so much this time around. Which could mean that something else is going on. This is the precise reason why I hate my brain. It has no trouble telling me something is wrong, but it never tells me what it is that is wrong. Stupid brain. Gar. At least I haven't given in. Yet. Nor do I plan to. My wordcount should definitely benefit from all of the writing I'm going to be doing to keep my hands occupied and away from blades.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Ninja-Mathiea — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 22:41:09 +0000

I'm Leah, and I have severe OCD and used to deal with depression. I still get scared it'll come back, but I'm definitely coping. Not with the OCD very well though. I spend hours trying to get things done that should take minutes and have dealt with the illness for as long as my memory expands into the past, so since I was a toddler (or even younger, for all I know.) Over the past few years it has only worsened and I struggle to finish tests in school at all and do my homework in reasonable amounts of time despite being recognized as "gifted" and actually knowing the material the tests are over. Hopefully it won't get in my way of NaNo again this year.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Ninja-Mathiea — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 22:46:12 +0000

******possible triggering I haven't actually cut in about two years, maybe a little less or a little more. Lately, I've been feeling the urge pretty badly, and I'm ashamed to say that I've scratched and hit myself far more lately than I have in the past few years. I'm scared it'll trigger again, all the way back to cutting, but I hope not.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

AdelineFarr — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 23:14:14 +0000

I'm Jessica, and I'm 18. I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It sucks, especially since, as my counselor puts it, my dad "doesn't believe in anxiety." Counselors are wonderful. Going has helped me SOOOO much.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

AdelineFarr — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 23:16:17 +0000

My anxiety prevented my from attending college, too. I'm starting at a local college where I can commute. I still haven't been able to find a job... Stupid economy. Having all this idle time has worsened my anxiety.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Ninja-Mathiea — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 23:22:23 +0000

I know the feeling, Jessica. My dad doesn't 'believe in anxiety', which means I can't get help, and definitely not medication. He promised me I could get treatment a year and a half ago, but . . . now he's back to saying I don't have a problem, that it is all in my head. Well, of course it's all in my head! That's why they call it /mental/ illness! =/ -Leah

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

psychopath — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 02:36:20 +0000

@blank_sheet_of_paper13 I don't cut, I just go into spirals of deep depression sometimes. And my NaNo novel two years ago was AWFUL at making me depressed. Honestly, until you're on the right medication, suffering for your art won't be worth it. Focus on getting better now and try to write your story when you're better equipped. (: Message me if you ever need to talk, even though we don't know each other! :P

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

verity.fate — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 02:47:23 +0000

I've been diagnosed with Depression and Generalized Anxiety, but I exhibit many of the bipolar and social anxiety symptoms, as well as mild OCD symptoms. Additionally, I have horrendous body image and self-esteem issues, which would probably give me a full-blown eating disorder if I wasn't careful.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

inside_out — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 03:21:21 +0000

Hey I just so this and thought I'd fit in. I'm John and i have OCD and severe depression as well as some psychosis symptoms.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Midnight_Circus — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 03:22:41 +0000

Hey everyone. I'm Gabriella. I have PTSD, GAD and depression. I self harm (though I am trying to stop), with a minor eating disorder. I'm going through a really rough time right now between school, home life, grieving and bunch of other stuff. I hope we can all support each other. Insanity Fighting!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

blank_sheet_of_paper13 — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 03:48:54 +0000

I can't be on medication, I'm not diagnosed with anything :/ I don't think skipping NaNo will help me get better because of my ridiculous guilt/inferiority complexes (i.e. if I finish I'll drive myself into a deeper depression than I'm in now and if I don't finish I'll feel so worthless and inferior that I'll still drive myself into a deeper depression than I'm in now). But thank you anyway <4 I really appreciate it :) (I'm sorry for however this reply sounded, by the way, I tend to feel so guilty about everything I write that I edit obsessively until it just sounds weird and snappy. So I didn't mean it to sound like that.)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

House03 — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 06:13:21 +0000

hey. i'm House. i have self diagnosed depression (possibly manic-depression), (social) anxiety, minor ocd, and i self-harm. i haven't been diagnosed with anything, but i'm about 99% sure i have these. this is my second time doing nano, and i'm going to try to complete it again, despite problems with life in general. but hi!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 14:55:00 +0000

Yeah... just broke down sobbing in the middle of one of my classes because my teacher made me read aloud. It's been a rough couple of days.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Sunfrost — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 15:28:47 +0000

Hey, I'm Ashley. I was diagnosed as having a Schizoid personality disorder though I'm considered by my doc to be more of a secret schizoid. That just basically means that I fake it til I make you believe it instead of outright showing it like most do.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

tallywoods — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 15:30:43 +0000

Not sure if this qualifies, but synesthesia. Not so much about specific letters (though there are a few) but sound in general, very strongly. I get terrible sound-related migraines as a result. Also, depression (more specifically, eating disorders. I'm getting better, though. I haven't thrown up in six months, and I haven't skipped a meal in about a month). Nice to find a friendly place!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

tallywoods — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 15:31:09 +0000

Oh, I forgot to mention, I'm Tally.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

fantome — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 15:34:06 +0000

Wow, so many of us. It's nice to know I'm not alone here. C: I'm Cole, I've got NLD (non-verbal learning disability; it's on the Autism spectrum), GAD, severe social anxieties, mild OCD and ADHD, as well as depression. I used to self harm, but I've been free of that since April, something I'm very proud of. ^^

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

EnjoyEveryMoment — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 17:14:35 +0000

I've got OCD, autism and social anxiety disorder, or SAD. :) I've been waiting for a thread like this. *waves awkwardly* I like friendly people. *freaky smile* Anyway, hey y'all.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

discordia — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 18:15:08 +0000

I definitely know what you mean. Not having a job just made me feel worse about myself. I have an interview today for a different job that pays less and is less convenient, but will be lower stress and probably reduce my anxiety. So I'm kind of torn about that.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

artzydancer234 — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 03:15:48 +0000

I'm lexi and I have depression and a slight anorexia disorder. I don't have the appetite to eat and it's really hard to eat anything some days but I'm not sure if that counts as self harm or not since I make myself eat usually. But anyway, it's nice to know I'm not alone. :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DarkGoddess — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 03:48:37 +0000

Hey guys! Forgive me, I'm not gonna read through ten+ pages of comments. I'm Mallory, I have undiagnosed disthymia (like bipolar disorders but without the manic episodes) as well as anger problems and mild delusions :) Nice to meet you!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

izzyhindle — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 12:06:41 +0000

I really need to rant right now. It's only 8am and this day has started off horribly. As of yesterday, I've been in love for exactly a year. The guy (Let's call him PM) is my ex-boyfriend. I like him for about 7 months, then we went out for about a month and a half, and I still can't get over him. I love him with all of my heart. Last night, I had a dream where he loved me again. Today, like everyone is mentioning him and bringing him up...he won't talk to me anymore. I just love him so much and I've been raging today at everyone I see. I really need to calm down, but I can't. UGH.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Day.In.Everyones.Shoes — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 21:08:54 +0000

I and several other people have said that it's nice to know there are other people like us, of course it's okay to say it! :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Shadow_of_Flame — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 21:12:44 +0000

Hi. I was on here last year...but I'm not good with keeping up for forums. I have ADHD and GAD and I'm getting retested later this month. (Joy. Miss two days of school, AND the first day of hell/tech week... add NaNo to that...). My brother also has mental illness..he's way worse off. Since yesterday I've been feeling depressed. What started it was the story I had to read for English homework, which was just boarderline depressing, makes you all quiet type of story. Then at my choir...the first thing that happens? Our director tells us he sent in his two weeks notice. He was in a really bad accident two years ago and can't physically direct right now. His wife, the co-director, will be directing on a volunter basis until mid-December, when we sing in the church service. After that...we don't know. I've grown close with both of them, and my choir is, was, ironically probably one of the few stable things in my life. It was there, every week, if I could make it or not...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

brittybear109 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 06:19:43 +0000

Depression and anxiety disorder, here. Mind you, my anti-depressants (which are supposedly for the anxiety too) are totally interfering with my creativity, which tends to make me more depressed. Is that ironic, or what? xD It's really nice to know I'm not the only one :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

harrowing — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 08:33:09 +0000

Hi. I'm 20, so I guess I'm technically not a teen, but I am just barely out of the teen years and don't quite feel like a 20-something, so here I am. I've not been diagnosed with anything, as I've never sought any sort of help, but I have a whole bunch of suspicions. The only thing I know for almost certain is that I have a lot of anxiety (probably Generalized Anxiety Disorder). I also likely have depression, but of course I can't say this for sure. I am a psychology student in university so I feel like my insight isn't too off, but at the same time, I won't self-diagnose. I've attempted suicide once before and have been self-harming off and on for over 7.5 years. So there's my life. haha.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

BrittanyLacey — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 08:51:01 +0000

Hi guys. I haven't technically got anything, but sometimes I think I might have depression. I had a really big bout of it a few weeks ago and then nothing. I find this thread interesting... Do you mind if I stick around? I swear I don't bite :D My brother has been diagnosed with mild aspergers, just recently. He's 17.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TunnelOfBlackLight — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 22:15:26 +0000

This is a great idea xP. Anorexic (recovering...) and the depression and general anxiety that go along with it, woot.... D you mind me asking what Trich is?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

acousticphoenix — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 21:32:16 +0000

Hey everyone, I am acousticphoenix. I have been diagnosed with ADHD, depression and a mood disorder not otherwise specified, but I am working with my therapist and psychiatrist to figure out if I really do have ADHD and depression, or if I just have a mood disorder, and my symptoms of ADHD and depression are part of it. I never agreed with my ADHD diagnosis, and the depression is an on and off thing...it goes away and comes back and goes away, and so on. I've been thinking for a while that I have something that is similar to Bipolar II, but not. I have been hurting myself for a little over three and a half years now, and I have a minor on and off eating disorder. And I notice a bunch of people have been discussing synesthesia... I am fascinated by it and even think I might have a form of it (but I really don't know, and I've never bothered telling anyone about it) but as synesthesia is not a mental illness (to the best of my knowledge), could we make a separate thread for it? I just think it's a good idea, because...well, this is the insanity thread, and synesthesia is not a mental illness. That's all. It's just like...I don't feel like it belongs here. If it doesn't bug anyone else, just ignore me. It's not a huge problem or anything. Oh, and if anyone was wondering, I kind of think I have it because I think of numbers and letters as having personalities. I can't remember if that's a kind of it or not though. Also, I don't see numbers or letters in color, but if you were to ask me, for example, "If the letter 'a' had a color, what would it be?" I would say, "Light blue." And these colors that I associate with letters and numbers haven't changed in years, so it's not like I'm just saying a random color. Does anyone know what's up with that? Is that a kind of synesthesia, or am I just really weird? Actually, I'm fully aware that I'm weird. :) Also, sorry for being hypocritical and asking a question about synesthesia in this thread. I'm being too lazy to make a new thread even though that's what I'm requesting we do...wow, I'm so lazy... I'll work on that later, I swear.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

ggTabaqui — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 00:49:43 +0000

I have body dysmorphic disorder. I've gotten over the self-conscious thing through dance.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 01:37:18 +0000

I saw this and was reading through it...I actually just have an addictive personality, but it's led me to depression, trich, and anorexia...I've mostly gotten over my anorexia, but I dropped 30 pounds last year at this time and am having relaspes...My depression is an ongoing this and I can't seem to stop pulling my hair out...I kind of just feels good to know I'm not alone...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 01:40:52 +0000

Oh and OCD...It switches between fear of different things, thanks to my addictive personality...It used to be fear of getting sick (I cleaned all of the time), then (this is going to sound mean) obesity, and now I can't kill bugs, but I'm deathly afraid of them...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Amy Geliebter — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 02:06:18 +0000

I love this idea! I attempted suicide and I've been self harming for five years. I've been diagnosed with over ten disorders, but my current therapist (who i love) has be diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I'm going to individual therapy once a week, group therapy once a week, and using light box therapy every day. I'm doing better than I've ever been, and NaNo has really helped give me a sense of purpose this month. (: Good luck to all my fellow mental illness NaNo'ers. We can do it, guys!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

エログロ — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 02:12:55 +0000

Gahh, I really hate my attention-span issues right now. My meds have worn off, and so has my Wild Cherry Pepsi, so now I'm just overwhelmed and in need to write. B-but, the noises, they make me want to listen. And then I want to chew more gum. And then REFRESH ALL OF MY WEBPAGES. AND EAVESDROP SOME MORE. AND CHEW MORE GUM. AND THEN CLEAN OUT MY BAG. AND THEN THINK ABOUT MY NANO PROJECT. AND THEN ORGANIZE A FEW WORDS. AND THEN I NEED MORE GUM. AND I STILL NEED TO REFRESH MY WEBPAGES AGAIN. Aaaaaaaa~ If I wasn't for the fact that I have to go into campus tomorrow, I'd take something to keep me in good shape, since I have to wait another hour for my ride. But I'm grateful that I have to go on campus, as that's only where I can write things easily. Home is way to distracting.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

skspiers — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 03:11:28 +0000

I'm bipolar and have SAD. I swear they're more helpful than harmful to my creativity though.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Amy Geliebter — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 03:30:55 +0000

I feel the exact same way!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

WentToManderleyAgain — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 03:50:38 +0000

Hi. I have ADHD, though I wouldn't be suprised if I had anything else. Depression and Bipolar runs in my family along with the ADHD-ness. I was undiagnosed for most of my life.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Horsefeathers 151 — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 04:07:03 +0000

OCD, anxiety disorder, and mild depression.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 05:12:03 +0000

Gar. So. I've really wanted to self-harm for weeks now. I'm holding off for two reasons. 1) I don't want to hurt the three people who mean the most to me. 2) I don't have blades of any sort. Which isn't to say that I can't self harm with anything else, I just prefer blades. Thing is, I know exactly where to go to get what I need in order to cut. Hardware store, .99 for a box of five. I have everything but rolled gauze, which is about three dollars here. I can get everything I need for under five dollars. This is why I spend any money I get as quickly as I can. I want to, but at the same time, I don't. I don't want it all to build up and up and up and up to the point where I don't feel that I have any option but to attempt suicide again. But the last thing I want to do is hurt the people around me. I don't know. Everything in my head is cloudy and swirling together, and it's starting to become difficult to tell one train of thought from a sequence of emotions. They're blurring together, and I don't know how to stop it.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Superevil225 — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 05:32:42 +0000

Nightmare disorder. Whoop whoop~!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

butshecanwrite — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 05:45:53 +0000

Social anxiety (if it counts?) and mild depression. Writing is the best remedy for sure. (:

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Artaxiad Prescott — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 05:51:22 +0000

Do you have any hobbies that are fairly mindless? Like, do you enjoy hiking or playing an instrument or hell, writing code? I used to have issues with self-harm (all right, still do), and when it came on really strong sometimes I could distract myself by doing something that I did not need to think to do. I went for long hikes or spent hours hunched over the keyboard getting myself into a thoughtless, nearly meditative state and just doing something. It really helped to clear out the foggy, twisted feelings in my head. It might not help you, but maybe?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DrivingMishCrazy — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 07:31:20 +0000

Um, so I kind of told my friend/crush that I have depression and was/am a cutter? And it went over alright? As in "I'm glad you stopped, don't bottle things up cause it's not good" alright? I don't know, but that makes me feel a bit better, knowing she knows and not feeling like quite as much of a mental patient. Now if only I could tell my mother...god, that thought just makes me want to cry...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

PheonixSong — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 11:34:54 +0000

I have Aspurgers Syndrome, and ADHD. It's TERRIBLE if you put them together. Not only am I severely disorganized, I can't pay attention in class, only on things I like. Like Algebra, Health, and DnD. And writing, of course. I really DON'T want anyone to help me with my Aspurgers, it makes ME who I am. I won't /be/ me if they do that. Its unfair.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Kristal4_2 — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 12:05:03 +0000

Fellow aspie here. =] I'm borderline ADHD and socially anxious (does that count?) as well.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

SignalFires — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 14:50:52 +0000

Noob time! Sup guys. I have off the charts severe ADHD, bipolar, and really horrible anger issues (if that counts...). Gotta question... How does one deal with my trifecta? Nothing I've ever done seems to work and my mom doesn't help either by threatening to send me back to the institution she put me in last April. Help?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

blank_sheet_of_paper13 — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 18:02:20 +0000

I'm supposed to be writing a paper for English right now about an experience that changed my life and I can't think of anything that my guilt/trust issues don't stop me from writing about. Help? It's due tomorrow.... :/

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Amy Geliebter — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 19:39:03 +0000

you could always write about NaNo and how it helped you positively channel your mental illness into creativity?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Artaxiad Prescott — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 19:50:25 +0000

It's hard to find mentally ill characters in media that are actually, y'know, realistic in some degree. So let's hear it -- tell us about your favorite characters with mental illnesses! My nomination is Doug Rattmann from the Portal games -- though he never appears on screen, he is fleshed out very warmly in the "Lab Rat" comic, where we learn that the character who left helpful hints behind in some of the difficult chambers happens to have schizophrenia. And yes, for once, that's "has auditory hallucinations" schizophrenia, not the popular-misconception "has different personalities". ...this post came out dumb but I'm posting it anyway.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

blank_sheet_of_paper13 — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 20:52:44 +0000

I haven't been diagnosed with anything so that wouldn't work. I was thinking of doing something like that but whatever. I think I'm just going to have to pick a topic and then suck it up and deal with the panic attack that may or may not result. Thanks for the idea though :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Amy Geliebter — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 21:35:26 +0000

Awwww, no problem. Good luck! <3

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 21:57:36 +0000

Have you ever seen Bones? It's a crime show...The main character is like a super smart genius with a little bit of autism. Does that count?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

acousticphoenix — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 22:54:28 +0000

Who has *characters* with mental illnesses? Can we talk about them? My MC has an undiagnosed mood disorder and she self-harms (like myself, before I was diagnosed! Other than that, she is not based on me/my life at all...or at least, not so far...). She is afraid of seeking help because of the stigma, and also because she doesn't want to admit to herself that she really needs it (the whole "I'm not THAT crazy!" lie you tell yourself when you don't want to believe that something is wrong with you) (to be honest, that second reason is a lot like what I went through before I got help). One of her friends has become severely depressed, as a result of her older brother dying in a car crash. She (the friend) also has anorexia nervosa. The story will have a happy ending :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Borca — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 03:36:14 +0000

I have two favourites (from the same story) that spring to mind. And this book deserves a wall of text, alright? They're best friends Lia and Cassie from 'Wintergirls' by Laurie Halse Anderson; at the onset of the novel Cassie has already died, but it is Lia's story the reader follows, and her anorexia/anxiety/self abuse/nightmares as her mind untangles When I first read the book last year I was deeply in the thrall of anorexia, depression and self harm, and this book shook me to the bone (poor taste pun alarms going off all over this post -.-). It was triggering and terrifying and turned out to be one of my main incentives for getting treatment, because "they don't understand, I have hollow bones to fly with" suddenly turned into "ohgog Lia is me and I'm scared of Lia/me". And, as with an anorexic who is 'in control', Lia is an unreliable narrator, but that makes it even clearer how muddled she is by what's inside her own head. Wintergirls described so clearly the way I saw the world at the time, the fear of what I was aware I was doing losing against the all-consuming need to do the wrong thing. Accurate to the extent I've considered buying a copy for my mother to give her some. Insight, I guess, into how things were for me, because I am still unable to articulate my feelings/reasons/bluh bluh and this book, these girls (Lia and Cass) are so painfully true. Like, it's not they they 'want to "get skinny"'; it's reaching that point where the illness defines you, where you have to leave a friend's birthday party if there's cake in the room and the resultant anxiety owns you.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 04:04:14 +0000

Thanks for the fantastic idea. I'm definitely going to have to try it, except it has to be something other than writing. I'll write something way triggering, which would be uber counter productive. I could get some puzzles, though, or get another Sudoku booklet. *nods* =) Thank you! <3 <3 <3

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 04:05:26 +0000

Whether or not you're diagnosed isn't relevant, I think. Even if it's just negative emotions, it'd help immensely.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 04:07:01 +0000

One of my MCs is manic depressive. Another has schizophrenia. And another is a sociopath. So. Yeah.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 05:12:24 +0000

One has PTSD, another one is sort of a sociopath, but not exactly.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Foxx Navarro — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 06:00:59 +0000

Hello~ Officially, I have been Diagnosed wish Aspergers Syndrome and Dyslexia. Unofficially, I have concluded by myself and family members that I may have OCD, OCPD, I might have Moderate ADHD likely according to a test I took on the internet, and I find myself stressed easily in high octane doeses, and my dreams often look like exploitation films mixed with fan fiction crossovers from TV and movies. This does effect my Work. I am a big fan of those shows and films where the protagonist slowly goes insane, Like Neon Genesis Evangelion, and Fight Club. So I do like having my characters a little bit off the crazy end of the sanity scale.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

PheonixSong — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 10:46:03 +0000

Same here, I don't like to socialize.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Timpeni — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 11:27:21 +0000

I feel so out of place... I used to have Nightmare Disorder when I was nine and ten. SEVERELY stressed back then, haha. I still remember a few of the more scarier ones: Drowning in sand inside an hourglass, having my brains scooped out, getting killed when a ghost jumped at me after my mom abandoned me for a book, falling and dying when the airport I'm in gets bombed, and THIS is a winner: getting raped by eight ghosts. Yeah. But now that the nightmares are gone... well... I'm not sure whether I have any mental illness. I SHOULD have Aspergers Syndrome AND Dyslexia, but... I don't. My mom, my dad AND my brother have the two. I just... don't. GENETIC GAP, ANYONE? So. Can I stay here, even though there's a chance I have no mental illness? (I talk to my characters, if that counts as one. I don't think so, though. We have arguments inside my head.)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 00:11:39 +0000

I have to drop NaNo. My depression is so bad I'm proud when I can get through the school day. There have been several times where I've gone to the library and just curled up behind one of the bookshelves until my brother's found me and practically dragged me to class. I don't have the motivation to write anymore :(

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 00:19:17 +0000

I love the movie Benny & Joon. Joon has a mental illness but they never come out and say what it is. If you listen to the audio commentary (which I have... a lot) they say it's schizophrenia. I have a close friend with schizophrenia and I have to say it's pretty accurate.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

blank_sheet_of_paper13 — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 01:58:44 +0000

Awww D: *hugs* I know I don't know you but I hope you get everything sorted out soon! <4 (Because <3 isn't enough)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

RuthHarkness — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 20:23:35 +0000

I don't have synesthesia, because I don't actually see the colours of things in the real world... but things have like, set colours in my mind: graphemes and music. Synesthesia has always fascinated me, so it's really cool to hear people talking about it here (sorry to sound stalkerish) :) I also have mild aspergers and I did have depression; I thought I'd finally gotten over it, but then just the last few weeks it's come back really badly. I feel like I'm letting everyone down and I hate myself for worrying them so much... It's really interrupting my ability to write :/

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 22:39:00 +0000

Must we be officially diagnosed to take part in this thread, or may we be absolutely certain of what we've got but not seen anyone for a diagnosis?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

smornge — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 03:02:58 +0000

I've never been "officially" diagnosed with anything, only because I've never been taken anywhere to be diagnosed. It's not really a priority in my family... -_- Anyways, although I have no diagnosis, it's fairly obvious that I'm not quite right. I have terrible OCD, avoidant personality disorder, generalized anxiety, social anxiety, panic disorder, selective mustism, and a dash of clinical depression. Yay.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

goodghosts — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 03:20:29 +0000

I didn't go through the whole thread, but I saw multiple people on the first page talking about trich. It's reassuring to hear of other people with such a problem. Mine is pretty mild I'd bet - I haven't given myself a bald spot or anything since elementary school. Nowadays I mostly do it when I'm stressed or depressed, to the point where my scalp starts to ache. Awesome, right? Yeah. Not so much. But it's nice to see other people do it too. I don't know anyone in real life who does. Anyway, I had really bad depression in my freshman year (I'm a senior now), but I've been going to counseling ever since, and it helps me a lot. It still hits me in waves every few months, but it's not nearly as deblitating as it was before. If it was, I surely wouldn't be able to function. My main issue recently has been with attention problems. I can't focus on anything. Like... at all... Which is bad, with senior year and all. My AP classes are killing me, even though they're in two of my favorite subjects (AP Lit and AP Gov representtttt). Buuuuut I'm hopefully going to see a psychiatrist soon to discuss it and possibly start medication. If anyone has ADD and does some sort of treatment for it (medication or whatever else), I'd love to hear your experiences with it.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Artaxiad Prescott — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 03:24:07 +0000

Like I care, man. Come talk.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

WentToManderleyAgain — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 03:34:02 +0000

I have ADD. It stinks. I tak Vvanse or something. Im not sure, I don't deal much with them, I just take them. I also have no idea if I spelled that right. Either way it helps me pay attention for 10 or so hours, me thinks. It helps. It's nice. ADD isn't great. It made me feel like I was stupid. It made me feel incapable. I hate it. But once I took my meds... I felt smart. I got great grades, and was finally able to focus. It was great.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 03:52:11 +0000

Mm, good. I'm Casey. Bipolar, schizophrenia, and OCD. Was taken to a psychologist once... lied a lot to avoid a diagnosis. I can't bring myself to trust them. And besides, mes parents are happier believing I'm perfectly sane. I usually incorporate a lot of my madness into my characters; it makes it easier to deal with.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 20:48:28 +0000

I . . . have to drop NaNo. The stress of life, recent heartbreak, and the normal depression is just too much. So. Yeah. Bye?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 22:57:36 +0000

*hugs* I know how you feel. I had to drop it, too. Feel free to NaNoMail me, we can share stories.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

pr-aA — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 01:16:10 +0000

Hii~ I didn't read the entire thread because... Damn. It's long. But uh I'm seventeen, and I'm Bipolar (II), Paranoid, and I hallucinate about 40% of the time. I barely have anything done, but I suppose that even if I don't finish the novel this month, it can work as a good start!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

zanitas — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 02:55:32 +0000

I have diagnosed anxiety, and obsessive compulsive tendencies. :P

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 03:07:24 +0000

Hi! I don't hallucinate much, but when I do it's terribly bad. I also get very paranoid. NaNomail me-- I'd like to trade stories. But I suck at starting conversations, so I'm making you do that paart ^-^

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

ccitro — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 14:02:19 +0000

Hello, I'm Chester and I've been diagnosed with(and hospitalized because of) major depression. I also have gender identity disorder, which I don't really consider to be a disorder, honestly. I just say I'm transgender, but it is still in the DSM VI book, so technically, it is a psychological disorder. My novel greatly goes into both of these issues.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

RuthHarkness — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 18:15:26 +0000

I've reverted back to self-harm just the last couple of days... i'm not doing any serious damage, and I did it before, so I know I can just take it at this level as a coping mechanism... The problem is, so many people I care about don't understand why it helps. They won't even consider the idea... and I don't want to hurt them. Any ideas how I can explain to them that I know it isn't a good solution, but it does help and it does make me feel better, and they should be worrying about how much it hurts me being so sad, and combat that so that I don't need to cut, rather than just being disappointed in me for my coping mechanism? I'm just sick of everyone hurting emotionally.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

asiyah123 — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 00:53:52 +0000

Ditto the gender identity disorder,Chester.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

House03 — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 06:55:07 +0000

also ditto with the trans*ness/gid

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Shadow_of_Flame — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 21:59:09 +0000

I first heard of synesthesia last summer, my friend has... sound something synesthesia...this kid is REALLY good at music. But we were talking with another of our friends and she said that she associates colors with music but it was cause of this toy piano or something she had as a little kid that had colored keys. So your letter/color thing could be like that. On a completely different note... I forgot about the forum again. Typical.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Shadow_of_Flame — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 22:17:09 +0000

Yesterday I had my annual physical. I asked my mom if she had to go back with me, cause seriously, I'm a teen, I don't need her there... but mostly cause she just ends up talking about me and my issues and I don't entirly agree but I don't know how to explain it. When the doctor called her back, well, guess what... that happened. She thinks my anxiety is a bigger issue than it is. She is also concluded that I have 'executive functioning' issues (I don't even know that that MEANS) and that it's a really big issue when I spend "hours and hours and hours" on homework stuff... I'm NOT spending 'hours and hours and hours' I multitask and do a little bit of homework while reading and writing so I can say I'm doing homework.... And the anxiety...I've had one really bad panic attack in 7th grade. It was partially the teacher's fault. I TOLD him I couldn't handle the assignment, he said I didn't have to do it... and then made me stay in class and pulled me out of my book. SInce i wasn't supposed to be reading... and I was clamping my hands over my ears in a futile attempt to block out the sound of his insanely loud voice, I couldn't turn the page and attempt to get back into it. Ended up in the nurses offices in hysterics. A couple weeks ago, we were given an assingment in History to read an except from The Jungle (can't remember author) it was published during the Industrial Era (late 1800s, early 1900s) and about what REALLY went on in the meatpacking industry. I got two paragraphs in, and promptly stopped. I panicked at the potential to panic, if that makes sense. I read really quickly and often jump head, read a few words from a random sentence then go back and keep reading. I MIGHT have been able to handle it. I don't know. But especially combined with the depression I had been feeling (it was entirely situational, not an issue, except that a chapter of my life is closing...), didn't wanna risk a panic attack. But then today in class, the teacher mentioned some of the stuff... if she had gone on much more I either would have interupted said "please, stop" or just left the room. (and shocked the entire class). The kinda weird thing is though, I can watch Anime where people loose limbs, and CSI and Bones and NCIS and stuff. RuthHarkness: Could you just tell them what you just told us upfront? The paragraph before the last sentence. Although easier said than done, eh?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

エログロ — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 04:48:02 +0000

I hate getting into random moods of all-consuming melancholy. It's like being tired, but I can't sleep. I feel numb, but the pain keeps me alert. I wish I wasn't so self-destructive.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

ccitro — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 13:36:33 +0000

This is literally my life summed up into four lines.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Korinkato — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 15:48:13 +0000

It's a little creepy how similar you are to me. I've also never been diagnosed for the same reason, and I've pretty much most of the things you listed there. Although for me it's more OCPD than OCD. I'd rather be properly diagnosed. So, ya, that's all.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

RuthHarkness — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 20:14:28 +0000

I've tried... the thing is, everybody knows somebody who's had a bad experience with self-harm... that should make them understand it more but it doesn't it just means they categorise you. I just got suspended from school for self-harm a couple of years ago and even though I'm making a big effort not to let anyone find out who might tell teachers or whatever... I'm scared. And that's not helping the depression either.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

lupus amans — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 21:08:06 +0000

I'm dyslexic, and a little ADHD. I can't spell to save my life. That is why every day, I thank the lord for spell check. - Lupus Amans

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

lupus amans — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 21:10:55 +0000

Agreed. making sense is overrated.- Lupus Amans

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

lupus amans — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 21:15:31 +0000

Is no one else here dyslexic? am I completely alone in this? that makes me a sad panda. :( - Lupus Amans

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 23:55:05 +0000

Why... I don't understand why a school would suspend someone for hurting themselves.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

RAWWR — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 00:02:09 +0000

Didn't see this before, i'm Charlie, I have Social anxiety, general anxiety, PTSD, Major depressive disorder and Boderline personality disorder.The joys of life eh? I also self harm. Woe.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Tune_ — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 02:09:29 +0000

First rule of psychological disorders? You *don't* have one. ;D I haven't ever been diagnosed, but I do believe I have... ~Insomnia ~Mild depression ~Schizoid personality disorder ... Yeah. I have also been having these weird... ahh, 'meltdowns' lately, almost that of a person with psychosis. I do believe all my disorders are due to a very, very poor sleep schedule, but I digress. Over the last year or so, I've completely eliminated the self-harming part of my life. Woo. ... But I'm currently throwing a mental fit literally every week or so, those of which I have no control over. If anyone has an actual term for these little episodes I'm having, I'd love to read about it. See why I'm acting out the way I do. Thanks for any help on this; I seriously want to know what the hell is going on. But whatever, just remember rule #1 and go about your day. ^^

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

RuthHarkness — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 19:33:41 +0000

Neither do I. I guess that they don't want to admit they have any students who don't look like their perfect social/acadenic clone. Or they're just ignorant.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Shadow_of_Flame — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 19:58:34 +0000

Anyone notice how this forum will have nothing for around three days and then suddenly gets a couple of posts in a row, and then the cycle repeats? Yeah, trig functions have gone to my brain.... I'm missed half aday of school today, and I'm missing a day next week for this testing... I have two tests the day I go back. So pretty much the testing we're getting to help figure out strategies on how to lessen my stress and anxiety and stuff is going to cause me to be stressed and anxious. There's irony...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

EarthlyMaiden — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 20:02:01 +0000

Hi, I'm prone to random, pointless anxiety, and I'm ADHD with Aspergers(or 'high-functioning autism with speech skills').

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Ramzuiv — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 23:52:03 +0000

I am so jealous of your synesthesia... how do you get it?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Ramzuiv — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 23:53:46 +0000

I have never been diagnosed with any type of insanity, but most of the people I know know that I am insane, and I know that I am insane.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Tune_ — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 04:41:36 +0000

... Oh. I just found out those things I was talking about are called "panic attacks". In all honesty, I would have never guessed I had any form of anxiety. Damn, it sucks learning I have even more stuff wrong with me. D:

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

OnceUponFire — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 05:59:12 +0000

Hi there. I've never really been properly diagnosed, but it's pretty clear that I have mild ADD, OCD, and severe phobias. The main thing that I'm scared of is needles. I literally almost had a heart attack the last time I had to get vaccinations. At my old school, my "friends" would always make my books slightly crooked whenever I left my desk, only to see me freak out when I got back. I've also got mild depression, from my mother. But I blame her parents, because they really messed her up.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 05:33:53 +0000

Aw your friends doing that was horrible! I used to have two friends who would do that sort of thing. At lunch they made a habit of intentionally tossing, like, peas and whatever all over the table. Apparently it was hilarious watching me clean it all up -_- And now whenever my brothers are in control of something like the TV remote or the radio, they always set the volume on an even number, just to watch me squirm, or leave doors partially open, or keep numbers left on the microwave... Really anything that freaks me out, they like to do to watch me freak out.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

OnceUponFire — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 07:55:56 +0000

Don't they know that the volume on the TV has to be a multiple of 5? Any even or odd number other than a multiple of 5 bugs the [removed] out of me. And that is unfortunate that you have to live with people like that. Luckily, my school is really chill and accepting with mental illnesses and such. There are several mildly autistic kids in several of my classes. All I have to say is that I have mild OCD, and they do their best not to mess anything up that might freak me out.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 08:04:22 +0000

I cannot handle even numbers, especially not 12. I need odd multiples of five-- but I have three exceptions: 13, 18, and 817,657,320. I'm very picky about my numbers. Aw, your school sounds so nice!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

RAWWR — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 13:03:49 +0000

Really struggling with my depression lately. How fun.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Alias Cyborg — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 06:48:20 +0000

I know I have ADHD- I was diagnosed with it. And given the concentration problems I've been having lately? Deffinetely. I think that I might have a mild form of insomnia, because I can never seem to go to sleep or sleep longer than nine or ten hours at the most. I can't sleep past ten o'clock in the morning. Really annoying when I went to bed at three... Question: Is it some kind of mental illness if whenever I'm talking with people my age that aren't super close friends, I clam up, say nothing, let them do the talking, and never stand up for my opinions when every one else is saying that their opinions are different? Or am I just super shy? With people I am a different age than, or that I'm friends with, or really if I'm just with one person, I am absolutely not like that but in a bigger group of people my age I'm not totally close with? Clamshell.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Nightingaleprincess1 — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 07:15:39 +0000

Hi there! Thought I might as well join this forum since I just got diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder type I. I told my mom for years that I must have some sort of depression or something and she denied it. I finally took matters into my own hands last time I went to the doctor right before thanksgiving and they ran test. We get the results, low and behold, guess who was right? ME. History of depression and mental illnesses in my family, there's no way to avoid it.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

JuniorFrenzySista — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 08:01:22 +0000

I got kicked out of boarding but I think their reasoning was they couldn't take the responsibility. After three suicide attempts, I thought that was fair logic.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

JuniorFrenzySista — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 08:08:34 +0000

Oh good, I'm not the only one. I actually have no idea if I've been diagnosed with anything. I self harmed for a while, attempted suicide three times last year and once this year, have attempted to run away twice and I'm pretty sure I have an ED. Because really, what else can you call starving yourself all day, binging in the middle of the night and sometimes throwing it up? I think I was diagnosed with depression. I know I was on anti-depressants for about a week. Then I refused to take them so, yeah. Not on those anymore. Does anyone else here know they have a mental illness of some kind but truly not want to get better? Because I'mn seriously wondering if it's vaguely normal or I'm just looking for attention...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 18:26:06 +0000

I don't think you're alone in that. It's not that I /like/ what's wrong with me. The hallucinations are terrifying, the anxiety sucks, my relationship with food is awkward but not necessarily an ED, but it sucks regardless, I hate being up at four in the morning freaking out about conspiracies and trying to explain my thought process to people, I hate it when my thoughts go too fast for me to understand, and when I hit my manic-depressive lows, everything is terrible. I don't like my psychological disorders. But I also don't want to get help. I was taken to a psychologist once for a psych eval, because my mother found out about my former self harm issues [which I finally quit, and I'm really proud of myself] and I had broken down and confessed just one of the many things: that I'm bipolar. So she took me there for a diagnosis and I lied. I spent the entire morning preparing for it, like I was going to play a character. I was terrified to be diagnosed, put on any medication, and I certainly hated that one therapy session I had to attend a week later. I'm not sure why, but I don't want that. I've promised my best friend, who knows about most but not all of this, that when I'm eighteen and living on my own I'll consider getting help, but I really don't want to. And I don't know if I will. I really hope this doesn't come off as an attention thing. I'm just scared, you know?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 17:25:33 +0000

[quote=JuniorFrenzySista] really, what else can you call starving yourself all day, binging in the middle of the night and sometimes throwing it up?[/quote] ME! [quote=JuniorFrenzySista] Does anyone else here know they have a mental illness of some kind but truly not want to get better? [/quote] I'm not sure I want to get better. At least not one hundred percent. The social anxiety and the dependent personality disorder make me who I am, and part of me is scared of who I'd be without them. The depression I can live without, because it comes and goes and I like who I am without it better.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

JuniorFrenzySista — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 01:42:31 +0000

[quote=leeleewolf] [quote=JuniorFrenzySista] really, what else can you call starving yourself all day, binging in the middle of the night and sometimes throwing it up?[/quote] ME! [/quote] Oh I like you already. :P

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 03:36:21 +0000

I've been suspended four times in the past semester alone. I don't get why, but I heard something about "liability" . . .

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 03:38:03 +0000

Soo. I'm back. Ish. Kind of. A bunch of crap has gone down lately. Also, I'm down 20 pounds from last month, which is pretty awesome. I started a livejournal, if anyone's interested. It's likely to be a little triggering, but I . . . I dunno. I figured you guys might care.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 04:25:46 +0000

I'm interested! Leave me a link to it?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 15:43:12 +0000

I want a link, too!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 15:44:34 +0000

^-^ Yay. I added you as a buddy ^-^

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 15:56:54 +0000

There's only one post right now, but here. http://apathicsymphony.livejournal.com/

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Elyad — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 13:42:27 +0000

Hey, guys... I was thinking about posting on this a few weeks ago, but I couldn't deal with it then. Still can't, really... Anyway. A few weeks ago I was diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety and Insomnia, and I'm meant to be seeing a psychologist. Still haven't made an appointment. Haven't told any of my family, I don't want to be known as the insane one in my family. I know that I'm not insane, but I feel it sometimes... I'm scared all the time, scared about telling anyone any of this stuff that has led me to be in therapy, because I have given one person my all, let them know everything about me, and it was all thrown back in my face. I refuse to let anyone else have that power over me. And so I'm meant to be in therapy because I can't sleep, because I stress over the past SI, which is caused by the depression. Good times. But I can't pay for my therapy, I can't get a job because of a leg injury that prevents me from working, and so I can't pay for therapy. Who knows what's going to happen now. I might be able to deal with it alone, but I probably can't, I'll probably break down, and everyone will know. And I won't be able to go on from there.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 19:09:06 +0000

*Hugs* I've had a similar experience. Does your area offer low-cost therapy? It's definitely something to look into. Also, it's okay to be kind of scared of telling others, but it shouldn't stop you. If you believe you can trust someone (like family), then go for it. If not, well, you can NaNomail me. I'm a very open listener.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Elyad — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 13:19:12 +0000

Apparently I might be able to call up this one psychologist who takes a lot of students who don't have money to pay for therapy, so I'm calling her in the morning. I've told a few people, some of my closest friends who have never betrayed, so that makes it a little easier. I'll keep in mind you're here, thanks, but I'm not very good at expressing everything that has led me here, it just hurts too much. Thank you, though. <3

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 17:20:33 +0000

My brother and my best guy friend are coming with me to the school counselor today to set up an appointment. My brother accidentally worded something the exact same way my abuser did this summer Sunday night, and it took me two hours to calm down and another three hours to fall asleep. But I'm scared to go by myself, so they're coming with me ^-^

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Nicoletta Reich — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 21:04:31 +0000

Actually, I ended up writing a part of my novel at an Adolecent Psych Hospital. I had to pull some strings to get the computer in, but I managed.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 17:06:30 +0000

My teachers are killing me. Slowly but surely. I swear, it's not cool to force a student to read something they've told you they can't handle. >.<

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 08:11:16 +0000

My novel just made me so depressed, it's not even funny. I have depression, OCD, and trich. My main character was have a good ol' time with her boyfriend. I hated her for it. So I killed him, which depressed me further. I then wrote about it in what is basically my diary (it's actually a set of letters to my future children). I haven't cut in months, and I am not proud to say that I just did. I didn't know what to do, so I guess I'll put this here, which is better than not telling anyone.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 20:50:10 +0000

The biggest part of recovery is relapse. It's okay, you'll get through it. ♥

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Shadow_of_Flame — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 21:31:12 +0000

Gods, something similar happened to me in 7th grade. I didn't have to read the paper but I had to listen to the answers, well, stay int he room and I was told not to read my book. Cue Panic attack. Result? nurses office in hysterics. My teacher felt horrible. He said he didn't think it would be that bad but hello, I TOLD Him!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Shadow_of_Flame — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 22:09:45 +0000

A couple things have happened in the past few weeks. The good one: I met another student in my school's drama club who has panic attacks... we had known each other for all of maybe thirty minutes but we were already talking about them, mostly commiserating, but it felt good. Around an hour ago a friend told me that this big project is not due to January, so I have winter break to,ya know, do the entire thing. And another student who was in the same program I'm currently in said that it really doesn't matter and she did hers the weekend before it was due. SO not panicking over that. THe bad Stuff: My school has IB. I'm thinking of applying/going into it, but not sure yet. So I've been talking to my friends who are in the diploma program about their classes and stuff... What I found out? There is NO POSSIBLE WAY I can take IB Anthropology. Why? The FIRST thing they did in that class was the Nacirema assignment/worksheet: it's a paper, 2-3 pages long (I think...maybe 4) that describes this culture called the Nacirema. This paper makes the culture sound really weird... then at the end either it or the teachers says to read it backwards. American. This was the assignment that gave me a panic attack in 7th grade. (Those of you with anxiety: If you ever get this assignment.. I suggust quickly skim it to see if you think you can handle it.. or just ask to not do it.) SO why I could possible handle THAT one now... my friend said that that class is FILLED with assignments like it. So if I take it... work myself into a mental break down over the panic of having a panic attack...which of course would just GIVE me one.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 01:45:04 +0000

So. Have I ever mentioned that I absolutely cannot stand hospitals? They trigger panic and other things almost immediately. Well, I've been in the hospital five times this week. Once was because I got a glass of Vodka broken over my head. Stitches. Domestic violence questions. (which I denied.) Twice was to visit my mom. While visiting mom, I had a panic attack, fell, and busted my head. Tore open the previous stitches. Lost blood, had to get a transfusion, more stitches. Then, something . . . *ahem* bad ... happened and I had to go in and make sure everything "down there" was still okay. I wouldn't have gone in if I hadn't have had a miscarriage two weeks ago. So yeah. My little brother had a seizure tonight. It was a pretty severe one, and I was the only one that managed to remain calm enough to make sure he didn't, you know, die. As soon as the ambulance came, I started hyperventilating. It quickly turned into a panic attack. Apparently, I passed out. So. In the hospital again. They're not going to keep me, I didn't injure myself this time, but they do want to monitor my breathing and pulse for a bit. I hate hospitals. With a passion. Let's hope the don't see the fresh cuts on my arm . . .

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Silver Fallen — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 02:23:12 +0000

I technically have never been diagnosed with anything because I live in a family that likes to pretend it is perfect and has no problems so it's kind of too late to go "hey, I think I've had depression for the past 5 years!" and don't really want the obnoxious attention that will come from it. So I really just had a question; what do you do when you can't go get the help you know you need?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Shadow_of_Flame — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 02:47:28 +0000

Are your brother and mom okay? Are YOU okay? Not jut the injuries, but from having to be in the hospital?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 03:32:26 +0000

We're all okay. I'm still a bit shaken, but I was okay to drive. I should probably take my sleeping pills, but I'm kind of unwilling to. I took them last night, and despise taking them twice in a row.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 03:34:15 +0000

As redundant as this sounds . . . you go get the help. Based on your profile, you're old enough to present by yourself for help. You could go through school, since it's probably easiest. As for your parents, well, have you tried explaining to them just how much you need help?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Elyad — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 22:38:32 +0000

I agree completely. My psychologist believes that I've been suffering from depression, anxiety and insomnia for the past four years, and I never found out officially until a month ago. I'm seventeen too, and even though I'm not sure if it's the same where you live, they can't make me tell my family. So I agree, go through your school, and it will be a lot easier. That's what I did. :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Silver Fallen — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 04:21:10 +0000

Well I have talked to my school's social worker but there's only so much she can do. Plus I have to miss class time to go see her which isn't helpful since we've been trying to keep it a secret from my parents. I haven't told my parents because they would get upset about it, especially since I've never told them before, plus I don't want all the attention that would come from them finding out I'm not "okay" so no, I haven't talked to them about it. I don't really want to.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 19:11:41 +0000

I. HATE. THE. HOLIDAYS. And my birthday. That is all.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 22:53:43 +0000

Holidays depress me. I am an atheist, forced to suffer through the "joy" and "love" of Christmas, because it's a "family holiday."

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 23:12:50 +0000

Holidays have never ever ever been a happy time for me. I hate the pretending. It's not even the religion (I'm Wiccan), but my family expects me to pretend everything is perfectly fine. That we're the perfect family.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 05:14:47 +0000

2/3 of my suicide attempts have happened in December. I don't know why, but the holidays are a bad time for me, even though I love Christmas and snow and such.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 19:19:40 +0000

When my mother isn't blatantly ignoring the fact that I have mental illnesses, she's exploiting one of them. Like, today, we're decorating. I'd much rather be in bed. Nope. I have to make sure all of the decorations are symmetrical. It's highly stressful. But does she care? Noooo. ...I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. My rock is currently unavailable. *headdesk*

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 17:06:36 +0000

Hey guys. I'm a little late joining into this cute little supportive group, but hopefully you guys will still let me join :) I have Major Depression Disorder (MDD), slightly severe OCD/anxiety, and (half-diagnosed) Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm a recovered self-harmer and (slight) anorexic. What I mean by "slight" was that I was caught early, but I still lost a lot of weight. I've gained it all back and am now healthier than I was. I'm triggered easily and I see a therapist and psychiatrist, but I'm so manipulative that I can't bring myself to say the truth. I'm a train wreck, in all honesty, but I try my best to remain sane...even if I don't seem like it. Anyway. Hello~! You can all call me Lia! I promise I won't bite too hard ;)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 19:56:17 +0000

Darling, you're going to fit in perfectly with us! ♥ Hi, welcome!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 20:59:47 +0000

Yay~! Thank you very much for welcoming me :) Oh, and forgot to add. Stay strong everyone <3

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 23:34:30 +0000

*hugs* my mom makes me wrap the presents because they're always perfect. She doesn't seem to understand that it's because I take fifteen minutes to wrap each present because I can't stand them not being perfect.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 20:44:34 +0000

Today's my birthday. I hate my birthday. I'm expected to eat cake, but cake has TONS of calories. Blegh. Can't I just skip it?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 22:44:22 +0000

Happy birthday, sweetheart~! Splurging on sweets every once in a while is actually healthy for the body, especially when losing weight. If you don't, your body will reject it when you do end up eating it (stomach aches, nausea, etc.). Or, you will have big cravings for everything and anything sweet, which can be hard to deal with when dieting. As long as you eat a proper portion of cake, you will be fine :) I remember when I wasn't eating, I craved sweets like no other. Whenever I went off on a binge, I would eat mounds of ice cream + candy mixed together, or baked the gooiest brownies I could bake. I've learned since then that you can still eat sweets and still diet at the same time :) As my mother always told me, "You won't gain a ton of pounds from eating a little bit of sugar. Your body needs the sugar, Lia." Hope I helped~! Stay strong <3 ~ Lia.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 23:42:06 +0000

Last year, I dropped 30 pounds from anorexia. Everyone has all these horror stories, but it was the best two months of my life. Then my parents noticed, and they confiscated everything that didn't have calories. (No tea for like six months!) Anyway, about the sweets thing... Small amounts of cake...(squints) Feed it to the dog...Or, a go to excuse for me..."Cramps." Sorry, I'm not very helpful... Anyway, have a happy, happy birthday!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 01:19:54 +0000

I dropped....twenty, I think, in a couple of weeks. It was the worst couple weeks of my life. I don't understand how that can be the best two months of yours... Don't lie about food. Sorry DaniLynn, I'm heavily disagreeing with your post, but don't lie about not eating food. That just leads to bad habits and you don't want to keep repeating those lies over and over. That's how it sometimes starts, anorexia, I mean. "Oh, I'll just lie and skip this one meal" or "I don't really need this meal, I ate a big meal, I'm sure they won't notice." But, I can assure you that someone is going to notice. Just a tip. Stay healthy. You're doing fine with a proper diet and proper exercise. I promise you'll lose the same amount of weight as someone who's anorexic. It may take longer, but it will happen. But, on the bright side, you'll have more energy, you'll still have hair on your head, and you won't be constantly freezing, nausea, or have repeating hunger pangs. Plus, your mental state will improve. Stay strong <3 ~ Lia.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 02:08:06 +0000

I'm entirely too far gone to stop my ways. Cake is just . . . a never-eat food for me. I'd go for the cramps, but I haven't had a period in five months. Mom knows, so it's a no-go. Lia, no one ever noticed until I dropped down to 80 pounds. Then, the only reason I got noticed was I wanted to enter a dance competition, but they won't let you compete unless you have a bmi over 15. Anorexia was always a happy place for me. It's all about control. I'm not going to say much, because I don't want to trigger anyone, but it's one of the only times I feel comfortable in my body, if that makes sense. I didn't eat cake. I fed it to my son when family wasn't looking. It was easier. Thank you for the birthday wish!♥ -Leah

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 02:53:16 +0000

Well, I know I can't change your mind, but I'm still going to hope you get better and have a happy life, okay darling? I want everyone here to be safe and happy ^^. It makes me sad to see such beautiful people going through such torment... You're welcome, dear~! Stay strong <3 ~ Lia. (Oh, just noticed our names are similar XD Lia and Leah!)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 03:45:56 +0000

I'm working on it. I really, truly am. But it's so freaking hard. I'd love nothing more than to be safe and happy. Stay strong as well, cupcake!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 16:08:25 +0000

I know it's hard, darling. I so, so know. Just keep your head up, okay? Stay strong <3 ~ Lia.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 20:21:02 +0000

Oh my gosh... Next time someone on the internet tells me not to read something, I really need to not read it. Oh god. I just read the Nacirema paper. Oh god. Oh GOD.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 21:30:42 +0000

Good news today: I ate food. Like, actual food. Well. Kind of. I ate half of a banana. Which is better than a single carrot. SO yeah. ^.^

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Amarantawriter23 — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 21:32:35 +0000

So I've recently been diagnoised (I'm sorry for spelling issues; it's never been a strong point of mine) with depression, social anxiety, an extremely low self-esteem and body image, and they also want me tested for ADHD/ADD and a possible sleeping disorder. I haven't been handling things really well. For a while it was nearly impossible for me to give someone a geniune smile. I've been trying to get some help lately, but I'm not sure how it's going to work out yet...I'll be honest, I'm really kind of scared.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 21:34:23 +0000

Oh, I'm so happy for you! You're amazing, m'dear, and don't you forget it~

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 21:36:01 +0000

Ohh goodness. I'd be scared, too, don't worry. But you know what? We're all here for you. NaNomail me, if you want to talk to someone. I'm proud of you for being strong enough to try and get help. That's not something I've ever been able to do. <3

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Amarantawriter23 — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 21:40:36 +0000

Thank you. The thing is, I am one of those people that will always try to help someone else if their in a bad mood, even if I hate them, or if I'm feeling like crap. But when it comes to me, I always try to play it off and make everything seem fine...Lately though it's been so hard...I was so close to giving up, but, for some reason, I didn't, which I'm grateful for...But now I'm terrified of what all is going to happen to me...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 21:52:14 +0000

Absolutely wonderful :D Keep up the good work, dear~! Stay strong <3 ~ Lia.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 21:53:54 +0000

It'll get better, darling. I promise. You're so incredibly strong for admitting you need help. That takes true courage. Keep going and don't let anything get your way, okay? Stay strong <3 ~ Lia.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 22:24:05 +0000

It gets better. Remember that. It. Gets. Better. I'm here if you need to talk. Or just to ramble. ♥

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 22:12:30 +0000

My mom does the same! This year I got so fed up with it I stuffed everything in freaking bags.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 23:02:04 +0000

Sooo. Guess who should reallllllllly be in the psych hospital right now. Yup. Me. But I won't go.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 01:03:10 +0000

Why won't you go? :(

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 02:38:03 +0000

What happened?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 02:48:41 +0000

I have an extreme aversion to hospitals, even if I really need to go. They cause more panic than they're worth. I'm not sure what really happened, actually. One second I was completely fine, helping my son with some issues. I was upset because he was hurt in a very foul way, and I felt powerless, but I felt okay. Almost normal. Then I have a half full bottle of pills in my hand, the other half in my mouth, and an empty glass of tea. I didn't take a lethal amount, though, so it's not like I'm in danger that way.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 03:58:28 +0000

That really sucks :( Oh my gosh. I'm so glad you didn't take a lethal amount. That would be awful. I would almost push you to the hospital myself, even if I'm probably thousands of miles away from you. Please take care, sweetheart. And stay strong. ~Lia.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 19:38:47 +0000

I tell myself I'll stop when I'm 91lbs. I'm afraid I might not be able to. I'm not sure what I'm doing to myself. If I'm trying to starve, then I'm making the most pitiful attempts there have ever been. I don't think I want to do this. I don't know if I have a choice. How do I save myself from me?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 21:55:37 +0000

Hi, I'm Amelia. I have serious diagnosed anxiety and medium depression. I also have suicidal thoughts. Wow- feels good to tip it out when no one really knows who you are.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 22:23:36 +0000

oh- and drastically low self esteem, plus body image issues. And I tell my mom that I'm still not okay. She seems to think I'm all better now that I'm on medication for anxiety and depression. She denies it- she says I'm just exaggerating and that I'm really okay, and that I'm putting too much pressure on myself. Why didn't I put this all in my first post? Probably because I read some other stories. And it made me feel okay- more like I'm not alone than I ever have. Well, as I said, my mom sort of denies everything. She tries to just be positive. I know its good to be positive- but she's blinded by it. She doesn't see what's wrong. I wish she did- I wish she would actually get it. I don't want to be alone in this. I need help. I wish she would see that. I want for her to look me in the eyes and say "I know. I'm here. I'll help." I have been going to a therapist for 3 years. Yeah- since I was ten. She helps me sort things out, but now I feel like she's sort of... blinded by the happy, cheery, smiley girl I was. I feel like she can't really help me, other than sorting out my thoughts. But she can't heal me. I'm a huge Demi Lovato fan, and when she talks about her time in a treatment center, I can't help but picture myself in treatment. To go in, and have people there who are 100% able to help me. I can't imagine what it must be like. I'm not saying I want to go, but I know it would help me. But my mom denies it. She tells me I don't need that. She tells me I'm fine, But I'm not. And I just want her to know that.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 22:25:54 +0000

You'll not stop until they force you. Not until they notice. Once you start, there is no going back. To this day, I can't eat an apple without thinking, "This is 65 calories." Stop while you can. Stop before 80 pounds is fat.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 22:44:44 +0000

I'm on Prozac too!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

ARealHope — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 02:39:27 +0000

Okay, so, I'm rather new here...but I'm pretty sure that I have GAD. And possible signs of schizophrenia...although that's a very big maybe...haha. I just am always scared of being watched or that someone's just waiting for me to walk into their trap....I get scared very easily haha!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

ARealHope — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 02:39:47 +0000

Oh, and by the way, I'm Hope :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 03:32:16 +0000

Darling, it's not worth it to this to yourself. It's not worth it to starve. It's not worth it to wake up cold, exhausted, sick, dizzy, and with your hair falling out. It's not worth it, I promise. It's not. It's so not worth it to have someone realize how small you are and push you into the hospital, connected with wires and stuffing you with food where you'll never be able to take another bite without calculating eyes on you while you eat. Please, please don't do this to yourself. Talk to us and let us help you from this. Please?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 03:34:18 +0000

Hello~! Just wanted to say that I don't think that's schizophrenia, unless you have hallucinations (visual and audio) but rather a case of paranoia :) Possible paranoid schizophrenia, if that's what you were referring to~. Either way, good luck and welcome to the thread~! Stay strong.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 03:36:44 +0000

Hi hi :) Just wanted to welcome you into the thread. I want to make sure everyone feels included and welcomed :) Read your story. Your situation is similar to mine. I feel like I need more help, even if I have been hospitalized quite a few times. I just want to wish you good luck and that I'm always available for messaging if you want someone to talk to or to vent to. I'll always reply back with the most help I can offer :) Stay strong.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

ARealHope — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 03:38:26 +0000

Maybe that's it...I don't know...but thanks :) And it's not doctor diagnosed, it's from research and my own head lol. I'm not exactly sure about the audio hallucinations, I often hear things, but I think they are real...but then again, I'm not sure. I do, however, when I hear things like creaking when no one's home, think a freak is in the house, and even though I know that's not true, I still believe it and get so scared that I have started to cry and rock back and forth before!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 04:08:05 +0000

Haha, well it definitely has something to do with paranoia. I will sometimes hear things/see things (from one of my disorders) if I'm stressed. There's so many possibilites out there, it's hard to diagnose anything nowadays without a doctor's consent, you know what I mean? Anyway, good luck with it~! And stay strong~!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

ARealHope — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 04:17:30 +0000

I know what you mean :) I'm trying to stay strong, but it's all overwhelming, since I never thought this would be me...but it is. It's hard, but I'm trying :D

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 04:21:08 +0000

My excuse was always "I'll stop when she comes back to me. She'll come back when I'm pretty." I was delusional. She was my first girlfriend, my first everything. She died. I thought that if I was small enough, I could slip through to see her. It doesn't work. The smallest I ever was was 75 pounds. I was five feet 5 inches. 16 years old. My son was three. I got put into the hospital. Don't do it. Stop while you still can.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 04:23:44 +0000

Hi, Doll. Your mom doesn't have to be the one that makes the decision. Tell your therapist. They're trained to take these things seriously.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 04:25:55 +0000

To me, that sounds more like a anxiety thing, which would tie into your thoughts of having GAD. It's not really safe to convince yourself you have something, because then you might convince your doctor you have it, too, and be put on a treatment that can screw you up completely.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 04:49:25 +0000

Okay, guys. I'm going to spill for a while. Should this go in my Livejournal? Probably. But I'm pretty certain a person would read it and be hurt, and that person rarely gets on NaNo. So. Yeah. Here goes. Lately I've been feeling out of place. Out of place as a mom, as a friend, as a sister, as myself. I don't know why. I know for a fact that I am all of those things. My son loves me. I have amazing friends, and they've told me they love me repeatedly. My sister, my heart, she's always there for me, I'm there for her. As for myself? I know I'm me. I just . . . feel as though I don't belong. I can't explain it, really, but it's eating me alive. I feel guilty, and I'm not sure why. I'm acting exactly how Stephanie acted before she jumped, and I'm terrified of what that might mean. I'm not afraid of many things. I'm more afraid of the unknown than the known. My feelings rule me. And I don't know what to do myself. Allow myself to dissociate, and leave my son mommyless for an undetermined amount of time, or leave him forever? It's the lesser of two evils, and I'm terrible at making choices. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live, either.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 05:21:47 +0000

If anything, live for your son. It hurts every kid to grow up without one, or both, or their parents. I'm sure he loves you so much. When I went into the hospital, my baby brother begged to come visit me and he asked every day, "Where's Sissy? Where's Sissy?" and when I came back, he never left my side. I was only gone for a week and to him it seemed like forever. Live for him and think about his future. Don't you wanna see who he'll grow up to be? A smart determined athlete or maybe a clever, smartass photographer? Or when he first goes into his first year of school and then, all of sudden, he's leaving for college? Please don't let yourself fall. Bring yourself back up for everybody who loves you and cares for you. It's worth it, it gets better, and you will soon be happy. I promise. Stay strong, darling.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

blank_sheet_of_paper13 — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 15:08:50 +0000

I had a panic attack on Christmas and one last night. I feel like I'm still in the middle of one now-- can that even happen? /thisisallsonewtome

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 07:12:44 +0000

Thank you guys. So much. I talked to my best friend, Samantha. She struggled with anorexia for a long time. And she's been helping me, like texting me at mealtimes reminding me to stay strong and reminding me why I need to turn around and not go down that path. And I wouldn't have talked to her without you guys. Thank you <3

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 07:19:22 +0000

Keep breathing. If your brain starts going too fast, forget everything else and just remember to breathe. I get panic attacks. Oftentimes I feel really jittery and on edge for a while after, like ai'm still having one, but at the same time not. If that makes any sense. I don't know if that's what you were talking about, but at least you're not alone, yes? NaNomail me if you need to talk. My best advice when you're panicking is to find something that calms you down. For me, if it's numbers that are causing me to freak out, I repeat a list of facts I made a few summers back when I had an obsession with random facts. If its anything else, I repeat the Fibbonacci sequence and tap it out in my fingers. It helps a lot, in my experience.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

ARealHope — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 17:11:53 +0000

Okay, well, I am not nearly positive that I have schizophrenia to some extent, because I woke up to police sirens this morning at maybe, 5? I remember waking up, holding my ears and writhing under the covers, but my best friend down the street said they would have woken her up. But it wasn't part of a dream, because I remember waking up! Then, I was thinking about this and remembered that when I was little, I would still be awake by midnight. Then I would still be sitting in the same place on my bed and staring at the same place when I would see little creatures, giant dogs, a robot (THE WORST ONE!!), etc. And they wouldn't go away until I CLOSED MY EYES. So...yeah..........

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 22:07:52 +0000

Thank you both, so much. I'll talk to my therapist next Tuesday when I see her. Oh, I forgot to add to my post that my anxiety comes with a side of nasty panic attacks.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 22:12:07 +0000

I have panic attacks quite frequently, and I've always been with my mom. I just curl up on my side and let myself cry until it wears away. Well, I do that, but I also have medication for panic attacks. So I'll take one of those pills and that usually takes a few minutes to get into my system.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 03:18:34 +0000

I'm with the others. I don't get panic attacks--I get anxiety attacks. Panic and anxiety are different. Anxiety attacks are a much more milder form of panic attacks. But, the ways to calm yourself down are pretty similar. Anyway. My ex used to get panic attacks. What I would do was distract her. Make her think of anything else BUT why she was having a panic attack. After a little bit of just mindless chatter, she ended up calming down. I suggest just reading, writing, listening to music, anything that can get you to relax and just breathe. As for me, I don't do much different. I'm on medication for my anxiety and it seems to work well, so when I get an anxiety attack, I just tough it out and go sit by myself. If I'm at school or something, I'll just tell the person I'm talking to to just "be quiet for a moment" so I can collect myself. People usually don't mind if you explain why you asked them to quiet down. Good luck and stay strong, sweetheart.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

pandoraparadox — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 04:21:42 +0000

So I feel a little weird posting here because it's so late in the game but at the same time it's really nice to see such a strong community. I've had mental health issues all my life, but it's been hard to get any sort of proper diagnosis, let alone treatment for it just given how terrible the resources are for minors in the US. Besides which, a lot of bad/discouraging experiences really kept me from seeking out the help I needed. Now that I'm a legal adult though it's easier... and I've started up again. This time the diagnosis is OCD, which makes a lot of sense... I've been told that I had GAD/social anxiety in the past but that was when I had trouble telling anyone the whole story because it was just too hard for me to. I still have a lot of social anxiety issues, though (and general anxiety/depression problems arising from OCD). It's weird to think of myself as having OCD though because I don't exhibit a lot of the stereotypical compulsions... I'll check to make sure things are locked and stuff and be very meticulous in cleaning/rearranging/organizing stuff, but those sort of obsessions/compulsions are actually the least detrimental to me - the worst are the most invisible, and they take the form of intrusive thoughts, like about harming people or property, or having a disaster happen to myself, a family member, or a loved one, and so on. And, of course, the compulsions to rid myself of these thoughts are often thoughts or very slight physical movements (I might tense up certain muscles for example) that people would never know if they weren't directly looking for it. Which is probably why it was so hard to diagnose; if I was washing my hands til the point of bleeding or something my parents probably would have taken action on their own. Therapy's pretty hard, though, cause they're doing this sort of 'exposure' stuff with me (y'all have probably heard of it...) so basically making me think about the stuff that really freaks me out. It's really exhausting and just tough sometimes and I kind of just want to curl up into a ball... except that's exactly the opposite of what I'm supposed to be doing. So. Idk. I just really don't want to be on meds if it can at all be avoided... I'm taking hormonal birth control for PMDD (among other things... I have at least 3 health conditions it improves or completely eliminates, lol) which by now is completely gone, but I don't want to try and deal with more powerful drugs that might significantly alter my personality in ways I really don't want... and I might have to use for the rest of my life if I want to be sane. But I have pretty high hopes this time around... it's just an issue of getting consistent care, cause I switch between both coasts of the US. I'm just really glad to have insurance, though, and a lot of supportive people/family members in my life. Anyway. Enough of this diatribe. It's nice to meet you all :) And -hugs- to anyone who might need it right now...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

blank_sheet_of_paper13 — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 16:35:36 +0000

Thanks everyone. You all are very nice <3 It helps me a little to know that there are people who care so thank you all for that. *hugs all around*

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 23:31:47 +0000

I'm basically ignoring ... everyone right now. Everyone besides my son, Ayden. And Sielu, my girlfriend. I don't really have a choice. She's trying to keep me as stable as she can. I'm thankful for it, but at the same time . . . I just want to be left alone.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 06:24:41 +0000

I burst out into tears earlier after reading a children's book. I felt so pathetic, just sitting there crying. Has anyone heard the song Goodnight My Angel by Billy Joel? The book was the lyrics to that with illustrations by Yvonne Gilbert. When I was a real little girl he used to sing me to sleep with that song every night. And if he had to work that night, I went out of my way to take a nap the next day so he could sing to me. I remember back when he used to care.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 09:25:52 +0000

I hurt.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Amarantawriter23 — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 18:23:50 +0000

Today has just been so terrible. I feel like everything's going wrong and nothing can help...I'm worried that if this is any indication as to how this year will go for me...I feel like I may be dead before next November even comes around, and that really scares me...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

silent.mountain — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 19:38:36 +0000

Mild Aspie also. Seeing specialist also. The school psychologist who I see makes me angry every time she opens up her mouth. She simply doesn't get it. I also have to go to an "adolescent treatment center," and the name itself makes my blood curdle. Sometimes it's nice to have someone to talk to, but on the other hand I feel like I can't open up to either of them because they'll report it to my mum, who'll report it to my dad, and so the whole confidentiality thing is a scam. No it's not. I'm just on a rant now. My mum's an SLP and my god-mum's a school psych, so I know a heck of a lot - too much - abut confidentiality, but it certainly doesn't feel confidential. *Rant over.*

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

finchgeam — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 19:47:15 +0000

I've never been diagnosed with anything, but that only proves that I never bothered to be diagnosed and/or people don't see me as I see me, if that makes any sense o.O. But .... .... I tend to have internal dialouge(in my head of course), between me and a girl named Amanda. I have done that for about 8 years now. In fact many of my decisions come from her. (Some form of Multiple Personality Disorder) .... I am very anti-social and tend to have anxiety attacks around a large group of people that I don't know, especially if they talk to me. (Social Anxiety Disorder) These are things that I can put my finger on ... All of my so called disorders are things that nobody else notices. Especially since I bottle things up. I am not triggered easily o.O There are certain things that set of things in my mind often making me have some kind of attack, cry or even in most extreme cases change personality ... ... my parents caught on to some depression that I didn't realize I had and got me an appointment for a therapist. I told my mom that I didn't need it ... that I wasn't depressed anymore. I regret saying that, because I really want to see a psychiatrist. >.> I wish I could be this honest and open in real life >.<

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 22:18:27 +0000

*hug* Stay strong. Keep your lungs breathing and your heart beating; that's the most complicated task you can complete when evey fiber of your being doesn't want it but you must. And you CAN do it and it DOES GET BETTER. No matter what's wrong, it's temporary. There's always a way out. There's help, and if there's not help then there's support. NaNomail me, if you want to talk one on one. Find little things in life that you'd miss if you killed yourself. The smell of a sidewalk after it rains. The way the moon looks in the middle of the night. The sound of your best friend laughing. Please stay strong. For me.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

brittybear109 — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 03:03:05 +0000

I know it's late, but happy birthday :) I understand not wanting to eat a full piece- believe me, as a former anorexic, I really /do/ get it. Maybe try half a slice next time? Just a sliver. I noticed you said that you're Wiccan. There's one thing I'd like to suggest: Remember the Rede. "An' it harm none, do what you will." /You/ are included when it says harm none. Not eating is harming yourself. Remember you can always ask the Goddess for strength should you feel you need a hand. Sorry if it sounds like I was preaching! Blessed be. ~Britt

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 05:53:35 +0000

Just popping in to say I hope everyone is doing well and to try to be positive about the new year <3 Stay strong everyone. Everything will be okay.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

finchgeam — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 17:42:28 +0000

@Reverse-Paradox .... I'm doing fine so far o.O no breakdown, I am actually in a happy mood and I'm actually able to talk to people o.O I hope 2012 stays this good ... that's a pretty big hope o.O

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 21:48:22 +0000

So far, I have either ruined my year or made it the best one yet. I don't know yet, and I won't until we go back to school. Story time! Well, on the Facebook, I posted a link. It was to an article that contained facts and a hypothesis. The hypothesis what that soon (and starting in Europe) atheism will gain the upper hand and Christianity will become a minority. I live in the US. So, one of my closest friends commented on it and said, "Atheism will never win. His love is never ending." Of course, to me, that is a false statement. We got into a big debate and eventually two other people got into it. One was a Catholic that I don't really know well. The other is one of my bestest friends and an atheist. I think that the first friend I mentioned hates me now. I can't decide if I am happy or sad. It is good that I have rid myself of someone who wasn't willing to accept my beliefs (or even the facts). But, I can't help but feel down because now I don't really have anyone to talk to. I told her everything. She is the only person that knows about my trich. (A note on that, I'm getting better!!!) The atheist friend I have is the only other one in my grade (besides my best guy friend) to have openly come out about their disbelief in any gods. So...yeah. The funny thing is, I'm upset, but not depressed. It's probably the cold medicine. XP Just thought I'd drop by and say that...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Thanatophobia — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 03:47:06 +0000

I don't know if anyone else has said this, but you /might/ have grapheme --> color synesthesia and I'd say you probably have OLP synesthesia, if numbers have personalities. Not an expert, though--synesthesia's a... passing interest for me, I guess? ... Good ol' wikipedia links: OLP: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ordinal_linguistic_personification grapheme --> color: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grapheme-color_synesthesia :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 18:21:06 +0000

So. Just dropping in. I think my medicine is actually beginning to do something. I feel human. And I'm sometimes happy. Like, actually happy. Not manic happy. Happy happy. And I've been having something other than nightmares lately. But I feel happy. HAPPY, guys. Also, I've been eating more than I usually do. Instead of a few bites of whatever meal I'm forced to eat, I'll actually eat most of it. I hope this lasts. I really, really, hope this lasts.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 03:16:49 +0000

Aw, Leah, I'm so happy for you! I really hope it lasts, too. Best wishes~!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Amarantawriter23 — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 15:10:38 +0000

It's the first day back at school for me, and I don't know why, but I'm having a really hard time. I'm trying really hard to be positive and everything, but it's just not really working. I'm happy I get to see my friends again, but it's kind of bittersweet, because I can't help but feeling alone and empty. Why can't I just be happy for once?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 15:52:07 +0000

A good friend of mine is atheist, and I'm some sort of Christian. We both used to be really hardcore about our respective (dis)belief, and that did cause some issues (now she's more open to the fact that there might be a God and I'm more open to the fact that there might not be). However, I don't think a debate about religion etc. should derail any friendship that was ever worth keeping in the first place. I know my atheist friend and I got into some really heated arguments, but we were able to respect each other's opinions. Your friend should be able to do the same, so while I'm sorry for you both if you're not friends anymore, maybe it was for the best. With that said, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm on the site all year round and am willing to lend an ear, and I know a lot of others here would say the same.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 21:53:31 +0000

Today was our first day back at school since the argument. I could almost feel the hostility towards md. Yes, I don't think that we will be able to stay friends. It has been strained for the past three months. I think you're right though. It was probably for the best.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 02:03:11 +0000

*eye twitch* With my New Year's goal to cure my trich, I have been nervous as crap. I have only pulled out one hair today, but I'm rather twitchy. Here's how it goes... I'll be doing something (looking at the Nano forums) and I'm not paying attention to what my hands are doing. I with start messing with my hair, and then I realize...So I stop. But, sometimes it's not as easy as that. Sometimes I find a hair that's wrong. My OCD is, like, combined with my trich...Both are a symptom of PTSD, by the way... Well, whenever a find a hair with a lot of split ends or that is creased in such a way that it feels like it has bumps in it, that's when I want to pull it out. I am crawling in my own skin right now...I can't keep my hands off of my head. Maybe I'll put gloves on. I can still pull out hair...but maybe... I just want to be normal...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 02:05:05 +0000

I know what is like the first time you are happy. :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 15:54:44 +0000

I'm in an absolutely awful mood today and I can't even figure out a reason for it. Usually I can point out a trigger, like the date or seeing someone I don't want to, but not today. I'm miserable and hateful and I keep crying and ughhhhhh I just want to go home and curl up with my kitten under a million blankets and sleep forever. But instead I'm stuck in school and I have to stay after because I don't have a ride until like an hour and a half after school ends. And my last two classes of the day are the classes where nobody really cares about me and they suck and I just want to go home.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 15:55:31 +0000

:/ Are you okay?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 00:14:36 +0000

Honestly, much better than I've been in a while...of course, several things are probably at play. It's hard to explain.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

kittygirl27 — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 15:12:02 +0000

I just wanted to say that in a way, I'm jealous of most of you because you can come out about what happens to you and what you feel and know how to live with it. I know it's hard, but please stay strong. (Now I feel stupid because I sound cheesy.) I know it's a bit late in the game, but here goes: Call me Kitty, I don't really like using my real name online. I have a not really well known condition called Healthy Multiplicity. It's pretty much a benign form of DID or Multiple Personality Disorder, but in truth it's nothing alike. In short, I hear voices in my head. They're quite friendly, actually. So....um.... I'm self-diagnosed. (Don't tell me not to self-diagnose, I know what's going on in my head, and I don't really want to see a therapist.) I know I have multiplicity, though I've never come out to anyone in person because I'm scared of what people will think (hence the aforementioned jealousy). Despite what most people think, no, I don't need drugs. I (we) can function perfectly well on my (our) own. Still, I want to come out, but I'm scared to. School hasn't started back up yet, but when it does, I can almost garauntee that I'll hear slurs about insanity. They're always there, and it takes all my self-control not to snap at people who make the slurs. In a way, I'm thankful for my alters (though I hate calling them that), because we work together. We're never alone, and that's more than I can say for some singlets I know. Also, I'm sorry if that sounded really defensive. It's a habit, though we're trying to break it.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

The Dork — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 18:06:39 +0000

I have Synesthesia and OLP.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 21:51:42 +0000

I know how you feel about voices in your head. I have one- she's sort of a superego (it's in the dictionary) though, and she popped up last year. I named her- just because it made her seem more defeat-able if she's not just this... thing... in my head. No one in my class/grade knows about the voice (I named her Miranda- don't know why). Well, theres my best friend/practically sister who knows. And my friend/sort-of boyfriend. But other than that (and my mom/therapist/doctor) no one knows.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 22:15:47 +0000

This sounds a lot like what goes on in my head... I've never heard the term before noe. More research is required... Anyway, don't feel bad. I have mentioned my disorders in an attempt to get people to understand, but my friends think I'm just kidding. So I've given up. Welcome to the thread!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

kittygirl27 — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 22:50:59 +0000

Thanks =D Yeah... I came across the term while trying to figure out what exactly I had. It's also called 'Multiplicity'. There's 8 of us in our system (including me; System=body pretty much); and each of them have their own opinions. Labyrinth, that's part of the reason I'm scared to tell people (they already view me as weird...). Also: Anna, Kitty, Jon, Gabe, A, (myself being the core personality), Aio, and Omega all say hi; and are thankful that people are accepting of us being multiple.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 00:54:06 +0000

I have a voice in my head, two actually, but instead of them just randomly appearing, I created them so I wouldn't be so lonely anymore. Kao (Bear) and Ana (Lee). I haven't made them come up in a while. It's certainly different from what the rest of you hear, but just thought I should mention it ^^;; Also: I decided to suffer in silence. I'm done crying out for help. No one gives a [censored]. Stay strong and I love you all <3

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 01:33:45 +0000

I did the same thing in eighth grade. I ended up with a lot more than two, though. For me it was like a coping mechanism. One poked fun at all of the situations I ended up in, one was kind of like a drill sergeant and kept me from doing something I'd regret later, etc. I actually had them have conversations on paper in different colored ink, and my best friend/boyfriend contributed sometimes. I sometimes felt like he was only with me because he was fascinated with them >.< I haven't had mine around in a while. I still have the notebooks laying around somewhere, though... Might have to go find them. Those were the good days...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 01:53:44 +0000

I have a writer in my head...Let me explain. It's weird. Whenever I'm doing a simple task (walking down the hall, eating a sandwich) I'll hear a voice describe what I'm doing in very specific and descriptive words. Ever since I had my brain hemorrhage, this has been happening, and my surgeon says it's a side effect of the surgery. One that has stuck with me for four entire years, is as follows. I was walking to art class in fifth grade next to my friends, but the were ignoring me. I looked at the wall in front of me and then the voice, for this was the first time, says, "...without a falter in her steady gait..." I can never tell if the voice is male or female, but it's really harsh and gravelly...And a better writer than I'll ever be. Some words that the voice says, I don't even know the meaning of, and I have to go look it up, which is just bizarre.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 04:58:16 +0000

I just found this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXdnYgJy4fs and I'm loving it and thought I'd share it with you guys.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 18:02:52 +0000

I have a few songs that make me feel a bit less like, ya know, offing myself. Or harming myself. The main one being this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBH-QbN5BcQ&feature=relmfu http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6hI55YSW_c&ob=av2e That's one that I absolutely love. This one? It saves my life quite often. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyvA6lFdiWc&feature=relmfu I have no clue why, but it just . . . does.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 00:29:36 +0000

Okay. I'm asking this in a completely serious manner, and I am in no way seeking attention. Can you be considered anorexic if you are medically obese?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 02:54:17 +0000

Yes you can. It's defined that you have anorexia if you are deliberately reducing your calorie intake or restricting foods of any sort. Even just thoughts of this disordered eating patterns are signs of anorexia. It goes the same for bulimia as well. Hope you're doing okay. Stay strong <3

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Amarantawriter23 — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 15:16:41 +0000

Okay, things aren't going okay for me right now. It seems like it's just getting harder and harder to do every little thing. I haven't written anything that wasn't school related, except for a journal I'm required to keep, in at least a month. I can't tell you the last time I've genuinely smiled and meant it. It seems like I'm not allowed to have anything good in my life, and, whenever I do, at least three bad things have to happen to counteract it. I don't want to do this anymore. I really just want to give up. I honestly don't know why I haven't already. I don't really think that very many people would even miss me if I were gone...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 18:52:07 +0000

I can't speak for others, but I know that I would miss you, dear. Yeah, I know, everyone says that. Do they actually mean it, though? I do. Honestly, sweetheart, you can give up whenever you want. No one can stop you or convince you otherwise. That is, if you really want to. Listen to your heart. Your answer will be obvious. Don't confuse you heart and your emotions. Only your heart knows what is right.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

julin — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 04:16:31 +0000

09I think it Los Angeles Escort considers American Los Angeles Escorts piopulation Los Angeles Asian Escort only (Except Asian counries of course) as most young girls in America are crazy about their chastity. I know one girl who was dating Los Angeles Asian Escorts with her boyfriend about 5 years but they did not have sex and she is still virgin.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Amarantawriter23 — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 15:05:56 +0000

Okay, just stopping in to say thank you. I did what you told me, and it really helped. Thank you so much.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 18:31:00 +0000

So. I was completely honest with my girlfriend the other night. I told her about all of my insecurities, my fears, the reasons behind some of the things I do. She was perfect while I was telling her. She held me, stroked my hair, kissed me when I needed it. I felt amazing, free, after spilling everything. We took a shower this morning. Before, she told me that I looked like a girl. I'm not a flannel-wearing trucker lesbian, but I'm also not a lipstick lesbian. The comment kind of hurt. A lot. And I told her. She chalked it up to just playing around. I knew she was, but intention means very little to feelings. I ended up passing out in the shower. I hadn't had anything to eat in three days, so I had it coming. Well, my girlfriend made me eat. Not much, just an orange, but I've been feeling so dirty all day. Almost itchy. My trich is playing, too. And I feel slightly manic. Soo yeah.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 00:24:16 +0000

Opening up about your feelings always works out best, it seems. I know how it feels when someone you loves makes a comment like that. My boyfriend did that to me once, and indeed, it turned out to just be a misunderstanding. As for not eating, your girlfriend just loves you. If she made you eat, she really cares. Few will go further than disgusted glances. And about the trich, I know how it feels. I am currently attempting to stop. Good luck! :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 19:06:09 +0000

I'm not sure what happened. I have absolutely no idea what happened. I cut. On the bus. With my girlfriend sitting right beside me. She didn't notice. I've been fighting off tears all day. No one has heard my voice all day. Not even my girlfriend. I kissed her this morning, but we haven't communicated at all since. I don't know what happened. I was okay, finally. I was okay. And now I'm not. And I don't know why.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 05:08:57 +0000

*hugs* I hope you're able to figure it out, and that you can solve whatever it is. Know that we're rooting for you.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 22:56:52 +0000

Hey, I'm Abby. Im minor ADHD,and have some sort of anxiety disorder that only appears at night or when I'm alone/ in the dark. I get all freaked out that I'm going to be brutally murdered or whatever. But that probably has something do with how I have violent, vivid dreams where it can range from getting stabbed to getting hit with a car. Except I don't wake up when it's going to happen. Fun. I'm also terrible at dealing with stress and have this thing where I only eat like one meal aday for a few days. But it's not really an eating disorder. None of my problems are super serious, other than my anxiety. It's nice that there are other people I can talk to here, who understand and won't go off telling counselors that I need help. So. Yeah. Bye.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Amarantawriter23 — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 15:32:11 +0000

Why is it that the people who you don't really talk to are the ones that notice something is wrong, not your friends? Yesterday I hardly talked. I just didn't feel like talking. None of my friends even noticed or said anything about me. Eighth period a girl named Becky, whom I hardly talk to and is only in that class, asked what was wrong and said she noticed I wasn't really talking. It made me want to cry. Why couldn't my friends tell? Why only her and no one else?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 18:57:45 +0000

I want to go to sleep and never wake up, but I don't want to die. I just want to curl up in the space between existing and not, close my eyes, and fall into a foreversleep.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 01:13:57 +0000

I was getting dressed for bed earlier. My girlfriend took pictures. I looked at them and pointed out every flaw I saw. She pointed out everything she found beautiful. Hers outnumbered mine. I wish I could see myself the way she does... Also, yesterday was my 7th day clean from cutting. Today, I start back at say 1.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Brioney — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 05:54:46 +0000

I'm so sorry about that :( I wish I could say something that would just take away everyone's pain >( It feels so unfair to be looking at these posts and seeing everything that we have to deal with...people shouldn't have to feel that much pain :( Oh, I'm Briony--I'm new here. I've got severe depression and ADHD, also can feel myself slipping back into some previous anorexic behaviors. I don't mean to stick my nose in, but theycallmeAlice- your girlfriend sounds really sweet! I think you should listen to her...because (even thought I don't know you) I am 100% positive that everything good about you outweighs the "negative" aspects about yourself. I will send love to you & everyone else on this thread! (Urgh, sorry if that sentimental stuff is annoying. I just hate seeing people suffer.) Briony

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 14:58:58 +0000

My OCD is getting worse and worse. A few nights ago, I was trying to right on a chalkboard for my friends birthday present. My mom and her fiance were sitting right by me, and I started crying. I couldn't do it. I made my mom write those three words. "Happy Birthday, Tessa." I couldn't even do that. I just want to crawl into a little ball and go to a place without chalkboards, high pitched noises, and nail clippers. The worst part is, I hear those things even when they're not there. It doesn't matter if I can stay away from them. They're always there.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 01:01:03 +0000

Recently my son has been making me read to him from the storybook Stephanie and I wrote him when he was a baby. While adorable, the writing is horrible. Gimme a break, I was like 13 . . . I'll post it to hopefully put a small smile on everyone's face. Hop . . . hop . . . scatter . . . hop . . . woosh! Lady Squeek was pitter-pattering around the kitchen of the small cottage by the lake. She had a job to collect various snackies and such for the tea party that afternoon. Lady Squeek quickly put a few slices of fruits, some peas, and a few carrots in her tiny little satchel. It was almost full! She also had tiny little cakes. Lady Squeek couldn't wait to share her goodies with her bestest friend, Sir Rattatat Tatty. At the same time, Sir Tatty was setting up a cute table for the party. He was expecting three guests. Ducky Momo, Lady Squeek, and Lord Hoots-a-lot. He was sad that his other friends, Sir Slither and Flutters, would be unable to join them. He thought they may have been on an adventure! That was okay. They would have their own little party. Lady Squeek arrived just after Sir Tatty had placed the last cup in place. She scampered over to add her treats to the table. She had taken very special care to make each of her friends a very special treat. Ducky Momo had a cake decorated to look like a pond. Lord Hoots-a-lot had a big tree-shaped cake. Sir Tatty had the most special cake; it was in the shape of a strawberry, which was Sir Tatty's most favorite treat of all! Her own was just a plain little white cake. She did not take very much time on her own because she wanted her friends to have the bestest ever. Sir Tatty gave Lady Squeek a biiiiiiiiiig hug. He had not seen her for a very long few hours! (Which everyone knows seems like months to ratties such as he!) Lady Squeek gave her friend an equally big hug. She, too, had missed him a lot. Both friends gave the others hugs as well, each special in their own way. They chatted as they munched on the treats that were spread across the table. It was a very fun night, indeed! Later that night, Mommy Meow tucked Sir Tatty in nice and snug in his bed. He had a very fun day with all of his friends! At the same time, Papa Barkers was tucking Lady Squeek in. Sir Hoots-a-lot was snug in her bed, Momma Moo having read her a story. Duck Momo was tucked into his Mommy, too. It was a very nice day. Now sleep tight, Little Monkey! Snug in your bed, you are. Your mommies love you very much.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 02:21:18 +0000

<3 this is so adorable. Oh my gosh. I love this so much.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 12:29:55 +0000

<3 Aww... that's adorable!!! I've been suspecting I might have mild depression or bipolar, but I can't tell my mom or she'd freak and take me to a doctor, probably trying to force medication on me which will create a huge argument when she tries o make me take it.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 14:08:26 +0000

I miss being innocent enough to write crap like that! Now, one of them probably would have died. Bah.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Amarantawriter23 — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 15:36:33 +0000

I'm on antidepressants now. I really don't know how I feel about them though. I've only been taking them for a few days. I'm terrified they'll change me though. I'm terrified that they'll take away my creativity and my love of writing. I don't want to lose that. It's why I've been so against medication. I have an appointment in Feb. for ADD testing, and I'm still terrified of that, too.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

kittygirl27 — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 19:03:09 +0000

I'm strongly considering coming out to one or two of my friends who I don't think will judge me for being multiple. Quite honestly, I'm scared out of my mind because I don't want to lose their friendship... and I've never exactly done anything like this before. I'm not really the confrontational type, but everyone (in my head) keeps telling me that we're multiple and we don't care what anyone else thinks because we've got our back. Still.... Does anyone have any tips or advice for telling someone something they probably don't want to hear/coming out?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 02:49:07 +0000

@Everyone Please keep strong. It'll get better, I promise promise promise. <3 @kittygirl27 Just stay calm when you tell them. If they don't accept you, then they're not your real friends. @myself~! ...I relapsed. And I relapsed hard. Fml.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 02:53:23 +0000

Don't be scared. I've been on antidepressants that also help with my panic attacks. I was worried at first, too. It's been nearly a year and I'm in a play. I'm the lead. The only thing that will get rid of those things you love in yourself is you. Don't let that happen- it's remembering those things that gets me through each day.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 02:56:00 +0000

Just tell them. It tells them that you trust them enough to say something o personal to them. I was going in a downward spiral last spring, and then after a huge incident involving my friend and her boyfriend (my friend, and ex boyfriend, and crush...). I ended up telling him, but to this day it's only him and them my almost-sister best friend that know about my panic attacks.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 02:58:08 +0000

The thing about friends is that YOU get to choose them. The people you are friends with, you are probably friends with because they are accepting people. That's why it shouldn't matter. Your friends are often the most accepting people, sometimes even more accepting than family. (which was, oddly, not the case when I came out about my atheism) Your friends probably will love for who you are, no matter what.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 05:05:04 +0000

Aww, what happened, my lovely? Are you alright?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 06:17:12 +0000

I don't think I will ever [self-censored] be alright.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 09:48:26 +0000

I'm breaking down. On Friday in school, we had to watch the high school students practice for their choir contest. This was just the chorus students. Since the school said, no, I'm not allowed to switch into FCS (home ec., an equally worthless class), I'm in chorus. When i found out we had to go, I felt an extreme aversion towards it. I asked my chorus teacher if I had to go. She said that I did, and to talk to her after class. Well, I was annoyed, and I didn't plan on talking to her after class. I also didn't plan on going. My history teacher knows that I hate the chorus teacher with a burning passion, and he knows why. (stupid Christmas songs) After class, however, she stopped me. I hadn't been singing in class, not really a big deal. She doesn't get on anyone else's back for not singing. Well, this is about what she said to me, "What's wrong? You seem upset and don't want to participate." Blank stare. "Well, what's wrong?" "Nothing." "You just seem very somber." And right then I realized that something WAS wrong. My mom is getting married. THAT'S what's wrong, you idiot. "Nothing's wrong." I was about to start crying. "Do you just hate me that much?" Yes, I do. But I didn't say anything. "Why don't you want to go?" "I would rather go to history and take an educational quiz about my rights as an American citizen." "You need to go to the concert. You might learn something. You might even enjoy it." And I did start crying. Not in front of her, because I'm an emotionless freak. I had to stop in the bathroom and clear my head before I went to health. I started crying again in health. I made jokes about what had happened to the people that were in my chorus and saw the deal the teacher had made. Last night, I cried myself to sleep about it. My mom is getting married. I even like her fiance. But, I just wish that we could have one house again. I just want my mom and dad to get along and to be able to have civil conversation. I cried again in the shower. I couldn't even stand up, and everything made my cry. I was nearly out of shampoo, and I started crying. I dropped my soap, and I started crying. I couldn't even stand up for half of the time. I feel like I'm deteriorating. That's the best word for it. My efforts to stop pulling out my hair are becoming futile. I'm feeling angry. If I tell anyone, I have to go back to a therapist. That's what happened last time, and I had to just stop showing to my parents that I wasn't okay to get them to let me stop going.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 15:00:38 +0000

I hope you're feeling better. It's nice to have this thread to vent on. We all have rough days (or weeks) but I say all you need right now is to curl up in bed with a good book and cry. I find that helps me, for some odd reason. When I was going through a rough few months last year, my mom had to come get me out of the shower because I'd end up curled up on the floor crying with the water running over me. I go to a therapist, but I find it somewhat helpful. Just keep holding on. We're all looking out for you.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 17:17:52 +0000

I'm doing a little bit better now, and by a little bit better, I mean I can sit huddled in my chair, hogging the laptop, without crying. See, last year when I had to go to a therapist, it turned out to just be a social embarrassment because I had to leave school during lunch, and not helpful at all. I don't trust people like that. Just because they went to magic shrink school doesn't mean that they can understand how I'm feeling. Anyway, thanks. :)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

kittygirl27 — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 17:25:16 +0000

Just a comment, I really like coming to this thread because it reminds me that there are people out there in the world who actually do know what I'm going through without flat-out telling me "You're crazy, go see a shrink". @Dani, try to stay strong. I'm going to sound really cheesy, but things do work out in the end most of the time. I refuse to see a shrink as well for exactly those reasons. Hope you're feeling better, really. So... I really just need to vent. I keep aiming to come out to my friends/family about being multiple, but I can't. I'm a [self-censored] coward, and I know that I need to just get on with it and tell someone, but I [censored] can't. I'm scared out of my mind, and it's gradually driving me into depression. There are three people i actually think I could come out to, but I can think of too many reasons why I can't or shouldn't. It's really getting on our nerves, but I can't help it. I really want to come out to my dad because I do think he would understand... but I can't bring myself to tell my mom. My parents are already fighting a lot and I'm pretty sure that as soon as my brother goes to college (he's three years younger than me) they're going to get a divorce. I'm sure of it. I don't want to add fuel to the fire by telling my dad about my multiplicity and not telling mom because I don't think she'd understand. And so... I can't tell my dad, and I grow more desolate. I have a pretty close friend who I actually met during this year's NaNo, and she's a writer on this site. I want to tell her, and I'm really close to coming out to her. Problem is... I don't know her as well as I want to, and I'm really scared that she'll label me as crazy. I'm not afraid of being crazy, I'm afraid of the things people say and think and do because they think you're crazy. We roleplay all the time, and I introduced her to one of my self-insert characters. She and I are essentially the same person except for only one difference. She only has two additional people in her head, I have seven. I keep trying to reach a point where i tell her "You know Zoe? Well... actually... she's a self-insert. She and I are essentially one and the same" but I can't. I'm a [censored] coward. I don't want things to change. I hate change, because most changes that I see and/or experience are for the worse. I don't want our relationship to change, so I can't bring myself to tell her. Another of my friends I've known since 6th grade, and we've been best friends for about five years now. She and I are always joking that neither of us are quite sane, and whenever we're around each other we act quite strange, but we have fun. I really do think that she would understand and probably be excited about my multiplicity, but I can't bring myself to. She, I, and another of my friends are always together. I can't bring myself to tell my other friend, and I don't want to keep secrets. I don't keep secrets (as far as they know), and I'm a horrible liar (except when it comes to "I'm fine" or talking about my mental state). I really want to tell her, and she already "knows" a few of them due to roleplay conversations we do. She doesn't know that it's not roleplaying on my part... that she's actually talking to them. I really want to tell her, but I'm scared that she'll feel betrayed because I couldn't trust her enough to tell her sooner. So... I'm stuck. Should I risk it? I don't even know, and everyone else (in my head) thinks that we have nothing to lose. I can't bring myself to though. I'm a coward. On another note, the fact that I can't bring myself to tell anyone has me slowly sinking into depression. I haven't done anything I'll regret later, but I just feel a lack of enthusiasm for everything. Even things that I use to really like. I haven't been eating a lot because I don't really care anymore, and I only do my homework and keep my grades up because I don't want to let anyone else realize that there's something wrong. There are only two things that I really, absolutely hate. One of them is change, and the other is being asked questions (other than in school when I'm answering a question in class). I've always hated them, even before developing multiplicity; and I know that that's going to happen if I tell someone. I'm so scared, but I can't bring myself to do anything about it. If anyone has any advice.... I'd really appreciate it.... So... um... thanks for reading if you actually did, I love that I have this thread to vent. If you didn't read, thank you for being the few people I can "talk" to without fear of being judged for who we are. It means a lot to us.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

kittygirl27 — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 17:26:05 +0000

Apparently I typed the wrong key-stroke.... that wasn't supposed to be all bolded....

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 01:53:32 +0000

We're always here for you <3 Excluding three day periods during which we can't deal with anything and neglect the forums. But. Yeah.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 01:56:54 +0000

I... I hate everything. Jesus, why is it that I push everyone away except the people I know will hurt me the most?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 03:04:05 +0000

So, here's the news! My peripheral vision, which was previously to terrible for me to ever be able to drive, as improved to five degrees past the legal limit! If it keeps improving, I'll be able to drive when I turn 16! I'm feeling happy, for the first time in a while.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 11:50:52 +0000

Congrats! That's really exciting. Sadly, my eyesight is getting worse.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

kittygirl27 — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 04:03:26 +0000

I just came out to someone as a multiple! He's one of my best and closest friends, and we confide in each other all the time. He caught that I was feeling depressed and asked if I wanted to talk about it so I started off being secretive, but I told him and he accepted me! Words can't describe how happy I feel right now.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 01:25:02 +0000

That's fabulous! I'm so happy for you :D

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 04:17:54 +0000

"Self-acceptance comes from meeting life's challenges vigorously. Don't try to numb your trials and difficulties through alcohol, drugs, self-harm, or try to build mental walls like I did to try to exclude the pain in your life. You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by facing them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory. Our greatest glory is not never failing, but instead rising up every time that we fail. You and me need to stand up to the obstacles and do something about them. You will find that those obstacles that you faced don't have half the strength that you have. You and me may encounter many defeats throughout our life. But we must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary for you to encounter those defeats so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, and how you can still come out of it." ~Daniel Sulzbach, AKA MrRepzion on YouTube You can find the whole video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=WUULwo80jeY but that part hit me. I have it printed out and taped on the inside of each of my binders and also in four different places in my room.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 06:52:44 +0000

Gotta love breaking down and sobbing and shaking an bring unable to breath at 2am on your birthday when you have t wake up for school in four hours...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 03:04:56 +0000

So... Happy birthday to me, I guess. It really quite sucked. Excluding a 1.5 hour break during which I was at rehearsal, I basically cried all day.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:23:54 +0000

I'm so sorry your birthday was so sad. At least you had that nice respite of rehearsal (what for, may I ask?). I hope you're feeling better now!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:51:39 +0000

Thanks :3 Nothing in particular happened at rehearsal; just the people are wonderful and it's a good place to be. And I'm doing a lot better now, yeah~

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:54:12 +0000

Oh or did you mean what the rehearsal was for? Because then the answer is our director wrote the play; it called Broadway Bedlam and we basically put together a bunch of scenes from Broadway shows do we could get a chance to play parts that are all wrong for us. {Like, I have two blue-eyed blonde friends both named Charlotte and they're going to be Anita and Rosalia from West Side Story doing America, or an all-girls rendition of Luk Be a Lady from Guys and Dolls}

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 21:49:44 +0000

That's so cool! I bet that's a ton of fun! I'm in Romeo and Juliet right now- it's a nice distraction and the promise of rehearsal keeps me going through the day.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 22:10:16 +0000

I came this close to slapping a fourth grader today. After listen to him make fun of gays and lesbians for five minutes, I stood up and yelled at him. I must have said something along the lines of, "You are the most prejudiced person I have ever listened to. And I'm five years older than you so you can go screw yourself." Not a very good argument, I know. Well, because of this, I wonder if my anger problems are coming back, or maybe it's time I tell everyone I'm pansexual.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 22:57:21 +0000

Oh I love Romeo an Juliet! And I feel the same way about my rehearsals :3

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 23:01:35 +0000

I probably would have slapped the kid. Or at least threatened to. I tend to get really, uh, short-tempered when t comes to LGBTQA+. My brother said earlier today, trying to get the remote from me {I was watching Ellen}, "I don't want to watch some lesbian!" That's mild for him. I screamed and didn't speak to him for a day or so. If he wasnt a foot taller and much much stronger than I am, I would have been more violent... //kindapointlessrant

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

firelight_cinderbrick — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 00:53:15 +0000

I know mine aren't as bad as a lot of people on this thread, but I just wanted to see who has gone through the same things as me. I have that paranoia in relationships with other people, especially with friends. Also I had a lot of suicidal thoughts in the sixth grade, still recovering. Glad to see people I can relate to here. And I have self-diagnosed myself with misophonia. Article about it here: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/06/health/06annoy.html?_r=1 Whenever I hear the sound of someone gulping down water or munching on chips I go ballistic. I try to hold it in, but I can't help snapping at my mom whenever I hear her eat chips. It was murder during exams. There was this guy who sat next to be and he used an angry birds bobble pen. Whenever he wrote the pen would move and I felt like screaming at him but I couldn't. It was torture, all I heard was the click clicking of the pen, I couldn't focus. I lose a lot of sleep over listening to those sounds, I sleep in the same room as my parents to save electricity. Like when I'm trying to sleep I hear someone's feet dragging across the floor and I cover my head with a pillow and start bawling and screaming silently. And then when I hear too many sounds and can't handle it I go to my room. My parents just think I'm too uptight when I do this but they have no idea that sounds can actually hurt me. I just discovered it recently and I'm worried it will develop and include more triggers over time. Anyone out there with misophonia too?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

firelight_cinderbrick — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 01:12:03 +0000

So far I've only attempted suicide once in the sixth grade. I couldn't bring myself to do it. If I wasn't Christian I'd be dead. Noveling has given me more strength to go on. Now I just have waaay to many thoughts of running away and sometimes cutting(don't have the guts though and I don't think I ever will).

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

firelight_cinderbrick — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 01:15:31 +0000

I've got body image issues too. Sometime it feels like I'm getting to fat. And then I feel like I'm falling apart. That coupled with my scoliosis really gets me depressed. And low self-esteem. Sometimes I feel so useless and dumb and like everyone is so much better at everything.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

firelight_cinderbrick — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 01:21:00 +0000

I'm really sensitive when it comes to religious debates. I end up saying something stupid( my big mouth) or offensive. And I take some things offensively when it comes to that. That's why I try avoid them(and if I get mixed up in one I go away) and just respect other people's views on religion. I get along with everyone in class and most of them are of a different religion than mine.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:28:55 +0000

Hi :3 Sixth grade is when all of my crap seemed to start as well. I can relate to having certain sounds or too much sound freak you out or give you panic attacks, but I don't have misophonia. I'm pretty sure it's from OCD. But hi there~

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 21:59:32 +0000

Sixth grade was what started the big downhill spiral for me- though nothing burst until February of 7th grade, and then March was when my panic attacks started. I do not have misophonia, although it sounds absolutely awful. There are little things that bug me- yogurt tops with yogurt on it, one strand hair falling on the wrong side of my head- but I cannot imagine how frustrating that must be. Anyway, welcome to the thread!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 22:10:38 +0000

Whoa. I've never heard of misophonia, but I looked it up. It sounds like me...I can't stand the sound of squeaky mechanical pencil, teeth grinding, snoring, and breathing...I have gone it serious fits because of those things...Maybe I have it too...I always just thought it was OCD though, because OCD runs in my family.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

EmmaMayfield — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 05:51:15 +0000

Well, um, *waves* I'm Megan, 15, mild *undiagnosed* apergers syndrome,(runs in the family) mild social anxiety (Self-diagnosed) and possible mild ADHD. Nice to meet you all!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 23:43:05 +0000

Hi, Megan~! I'm just seeing you everywhere on the forums nowadays!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

EmmaMayfield — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 03:10:33 +0000

Yeah.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 22:18:42 +0000

Welcome to the thread, Megan! And does anyone know where Leah is? She seemed to be checking in here pretty regularly.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 23:52:44 +0000

I was just wondering that myself.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 02:00:01 +0000

As was I... Her Livejournal hasn't been updated since the 20th of January. I miss her... Hope she's alright...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 02:41:54 +0000

I hope so too... I thought about checking that, since I looked at it when she first posted the link... Leah??? Where are you???

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

EmmaMayfield — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 03:06:01 +0000

Thanks. I was wondering that myself. Honestly, I've been lurking the thread for a bit, and I hope she didn't do something drastic..

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 20:56:09 +0000

I've been a little afraid of that... especially since we'd have no way of knowing if anything happened without her telling us.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 00:00:52 +0000

I know she was trying to quit cutting...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

EmmaMayfield — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 01:23:58 +0000

I'm really hoping she didn't get suicidal or anything...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 02:59:35 +0000

I'm sick of this... all the stress... I just don't feel like trying anymore.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 03:05:30 +0000

Oops... posted it by accident to the wrong site. Please disregard this post...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 22:14:59 +0000

Well, hugs anyway. *huggle*

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

IdleScribbles — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 15:03:05 +0000

*shuffles in quietly* Hi, guys. Heather here. Commented on previous years' ones so here I am again. So.. in order of how they affect my life: Trich, depression (possibly manic, not entirely sure yet), insomnia, social anxiety, paranoia. And... seems now some sort of eating disorder, as I'm either not eating or attempting to vomit what I do eat. And guess what? The drugs don't work! Yaaaaay! Pleasure to meet y'all. *shuffles off*

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 22:34:28 +0000

*Is hugged* ^-^

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 23:57:29 +0000

Well, hello. I'me Dani. Or Elle. You seem to have a lot of the same problems as me. Twinsies! *facepalm* Well, I've sort of come to the conclusion that I have some form of an addictive personality... But whatever! Nice to meet you, Heather! :D

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

leeleewolf — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 06:49:57 +0000

Suffered a complete mental breakdown two weeks ago. Don't know how it happened, but when I snapped out of it my right forearm was ripped open. A friend of mine saw the bandage and asked what happened. I brushed it off, told him the puppy bit me. We were on the phone later and started talking about the pup. He asked how the teething was coming along. I told him that he was doing really well with the whole "no biting people" thing and hadn't bitten anyone in about a week. Then he asked what happened to my arm *facepalm* So I pretty much told him everything. And I do mean everything. He responded beautifully. Just beautifully. Was quiet for a little bit. Let me cry. Told me I was strong. Told me that he needed me. Told me he'd support me no matter what. I asked if he thought I was crazy. He said anyone who did could go f themselves. He's not treating me extremely different now that he knows. The only changes are that he's been pressuring me to eat, (with my permission) randomly checking the areas where I usually hurt myself, and he asks me how I'm doing twice in each conversation ("how are you?" "fine" "how are you really?"). The past two weeks have just been crazy, and he's been there at every step just being amazing. I haven't had a friend like this in a long time.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

reverse-paradox — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 16:48:54 +0000

Just checking in. Everyone try to stay safe and keep smiling. Hope is out there. you just have to look for it. And Leah, I hope you come back soon. We're all really worried. ~Lia.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 05:12:24 +0000

I haven't been concerned with my weight for the longest time. I'm about average, I think. But, today before I got in the shower, I stepped on the scale. It said 121. A year ago, I weighed 90. It didn't really register until I stepped in the shower. Guys, I feel so guilty. I puked. For the first time in months, I puked. My throat hurts, because after the third time, it was just stomach acid. I really don't want to go through this, but I still keep thinkng about calories and fat and carbs.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Amarantawriter23 — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 13:23:23 +0000

I have my first appointment with a psych specialist or something like that today. To say I'm terrified would be a major understatement. I feel like I may pass out at any minute from anxiety...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 17:59:13 +0000

I step on the scale and it says 127 (Wow- so much easier saying that online than in person. I've actually never said it to anyone other than my mom or doctor). And it bugs me. It's so sad to hear someone the same age as me is going through something so tough... and you can still eat healthy without it being bad. I hope you're okay. But the next time you feel like that, just remember that it's not worth it. And whenever I feel guilty about eating an extra slice of pizza, I remind myself that the sun will still rise the next morning if I have a third (or fourth) slice.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

kittygirl27 — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 18:00:27 +0000

Hey guys, checking in seeing as I haven't been on in... how long has it been? Anyway... @everyone Please stay strong... I know I sound like the blindly optimistic person I am, but everything will (hopefully) work out in the end. @Leah Where are you? *is wondering, as is everyone else* We're all worried sick, please be okay! And... my life is currently being torn in two. I came out as a multiple to one of my best friends a few weeks ago, and he was really accepting of it. He actually managed to become friends with all eight of us (*cough* seven... Cain despises him to no end *cough*), and whenever we skype he makes an effort to talk to all of us instead of just me (being the core). Anyway, a few days ago he asked me out. I was ecstatic at first, but now I'm not sure what to feel. I've never been in a relationship with someone before, and I'm used to pushing people away rather than letting them in. It really doesn't help that Cain (one of the 'people' in our system, for those who don't know) refuses to like nor trust him and uses examples from my memory to explain to me why I shouldn't either... the sad part is that he knows exactly what to say. I'm really not sure who to believe because everyone else in our system seems to like him (my new boyfriend... not Cain).

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 03:01:56 +0000

So... That best friend of mine who always seems to be ruining my life? She had me crying all night and begging my parents not to make me go to school. I can't seem to handle anything right now. She's already gotten one of my friends to stop talking to me. I mean he's avoiding me at all costs. God. I can't even. I haven't cut since January 27th. Almost a month. But that whole not relapsing into my ED has failed. Guys, I'm a mess. I'm sorry to throw this all on you, but I'm really a mess.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 20:49:13 +0000

Never any need to apologize for listing everything that's stressful in your life on this forum. I get the feeling that's the point of the thread. That best friend? I'm thinking they're not really a friend. I had a friend like that until some point in 6th grade- not exactly sure when- who just stopped being a friend to me. I kept clinging to her, hoping and praying that maybe everything would work it self out... it did not. And I've only ever talked to her in passing in the past 2 and a half years. Except for last night, when she came to my play, and I wrote her an email thanking her. Because there was no greater shock in my life then when I saw her turquoise-and-red gingham shirt in the audience, next to her cousin and their friend. See? Ranting about the pointless stuff in my life on this thread. I am proud of you for going so long without cutting. If you can do one month, why not two? Three? Six? Eight? A year? You can do this!!!! Stay strong!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 20:54:51 +0000

I really didn't know anything about being multiple until I came on this thread, so this advice is probably stupid, but can you tell Cain to shut up? Cain is what my psychologist calls a "superego". In short, its the evil being that knows exactly how to target the weak spots in your defense. I have a superego- her name is Miranda and she's not one of me, I guess. She's just a demon in my head. I have very painful arguments with her, because she's in there, absolutely terrorizing me and I can't get her out. But I've learned to say "Stop it. You're lying. You just want to hurt me. You don't care about me at all. Stop it." And it isn't easy- but it's a start. And congratulations on your boyfriend!!!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

kittygirl27 — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 04:19:44 +0000

Thanks! =D Well... multiplicity is still a controversial subject, so a lot of psychologists don't actually believe it's possible to be healthy and multiple. I probably could tell Cain to shut up and leave me alone, but the truth is that I would miss him. Huh... he's like an older brother, and he's left before. It's strangely quiet in my mind when he does. Eerily quiet. Interestingly enough, he doesn't really terrorize me. He tries to watch out for me... but as my boyfriend likes to put it, he's obsessed with protecting me from everything... including myself. Thanks for the advice though. ^_^ Hope Miranda isn't too harsh on you. I actually think Cain is (forcibly) starting to warm up to him... which might be due to the fact that everyone else in our system likes him.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 21:21:10 +0000

Guys, I'm failing math. I don't know what is happening. I can't focus in school anymore and every night I'm so stressed. It isn't even like I don't have enough time to do it. I have all the time in the world, and I just don't have the willpower to do anything. My scars from the last time I cut are still there. I told my mom that it was the cat. I haven't eaten for two days. I'm mostly drinking Dr Pepper to stay awake. Even though I don't eat, I'm still puking. Every day. I can't stop. This is worse than last time. I can't tell anyone. Last time, it was a joke. Last time, I bragged. It was fun. When I realized that I weighed less than my tiny friend, I stopped. It's not like that. I feel so empty. For the first time in my life, I was asked out. And it didn't phase me. I just told him no. I should have made a big deal about it. I should have. But I didn't. I couldn't.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 05:41:54 +0000

Thank you, beautiful <3 This message was so wonderful. My friend's not a real friend, you're certainly right about that. Sally. Well, she's pretty much done with me. Her new game is isolating me. She's very good. I'm glad your friend went to your play <3 That's so sweet.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 05:43:06 +0000

*hugs* I'm so sorry, my lovely. I wish I knew how to help. I really wish...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 06:54:43 +0000

I think maybe I'm okay. I ate a little at supper. Mostly noodles, but that's something...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 04:04:37 +0000

I'm so proud of you, beautiful. That something is a really good something. Stay strong. You're so wonderful and I love you. And if you need support, we're all here.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 22:15:47 +0000

I hate this. I'm counting calories. I've lost three pounds in five days. I want to be proud. I want to say, "Oh, look, you can do this. You're STRONG." But wouldn't it be harder to stop? Quite frankly, I think it is health class. This started when we started studying anorexia. There is a reason that I wasn't looking at magazines. There is a reason that I wasn't going on those websites. For some reason, my teacher standing up there saying, "Anorexia is bad. Look at these pictures of pretty people. That's bad. You shouldn't want to be pretty," is a mildly triggering. Who'd a thunk? Statistically, there has to be at least one other person in my grade that this has happened to. Statistically.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 00:30:24 +0000

Actually, that's how I was triggered into my relapse. I'd been eating well, but now we're studying eating disorders and the pictures and the discussions of how many calories the girls in the pictures ate... But anyway. I really hate being a hypocrite, but you can recover. You can do it. You're beautiful and I love you.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 00:01:16 +0000

Two of six lambs that have been born on our farm this year have died. And I broke. My mom just threw them in a sack and put them in the trash. Not before my dog tried to eat them, though. Doesn't anyone care about anything? Those sheep are my babies. I've had them for five years. I RAISED them. And now, when their lambs die, they just get thrown away. It's not trash. It's life. People are trash when they stop caring about the things that can't defend themselves.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 01:50:04 +0000

Oh my goodness.... that's so horribly sad. I'm so so so SO sorry... I cannot imagine what that must be like. I have a soft spot for lambs. I have a lamb stuffed animal- Lamby. I still cannot get to sleep without her. I want to cry for you- but I can't, because I had an absolute breakdown this afternoon. Exhaustion, emotional buildup that I was too busy to pay attention to for 3 months just snapped. I cried myself out for a full hour and a half. My mom even gave me a clonazepam (I don't know the exact spelling) to calm me down. I have panic attacks, but this was absolutely awful. I just wanted to curl up and sob (which I did) and never ever ever come out of my little safe spot. It seems a lot like no one cares about anything. I am so so so sorry for you. *hugs and lets you cry on my shoulder while I cry on yours*

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 01:56:34 +0000

I'm so so sorry. I have a horse and she is my life. The only problem is that she isn't expected to live past spring because of an injury. And I honestly don't know what I'm going to do when that day comes. I get what it's like because people act like 'oh, it's just her horse, she'll get over it.' And I can't say that I will. Give your lambs the respect they deserve and work on keeping the other four alive. Somehow, someday things will work themselves out. You just need the strength to get there and I know you have it somewhere.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

EmmaMayfield — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 01:58:23 +0000

That's sad :( My doggy has cancer and we don't expect her to live long. It's inoperable.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Sun, 04 Mar 2012 17:28:05 +0000

The other night I was stressed out and I kinda broke. I didn't eat dinner and I nearly cut. I haven't felt this way in a few months and I was actually happy. So I decided to check my horoscope, and it said I was taking stress out the wrong way and should find a new outlet. I've been wanting to the ukulele for a while now, so the next morning I asked my mom if I could get one. I was going to pay for for it myself, and I just needed her permission. I got told it was a dumb idea ask again in a week. I seriously wanted all of this crap to stop, and I was doing something about it, and then I get denied. Life is so not fair.:/ On an unrelated note, Leah, please come back. We miss you!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

EmmaMayfield — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 01:15:14 +0000

I can't believe I was played again. By the person who knew almost EVERYTHING about me. Never trust people

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Elizabeth-of-Rohan — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 01:32:23 +0000

Awe Emma! More hugs for you. *Hugs*

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

kittygirl27 — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 15:03:10 +0000

Oh my god... Emma.... *hugs 1000 times over* I'm so sorry (although I know that doesn't really help)!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 03:03:23 +0000

*hugs* I'm so sorry, beautiful. That's awful.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 03:04:38 +0000

So my parents are going to take me to a therapist. And I'm actually going to tell this one the truth. (Well. Some of the truth.) I'm really, ~really~ nervous. I have no idea when I'm going.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Elizabeth-of-Rohan — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 04:17:44 +0000

*hugs*

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 11:44:23 +0000

*hands over magical container containing good luck* You are so strong for telling truth.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

kittygirl27 — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 20:08:28 +0000

*hugs + 1000 wishes of good luck* I think that could be a good idea. I can't say for certain, not knowing your entire story, but in my case I'm frightened to even tell people that my mind is different than theirs, much less see a shrink. Congratulations on being strong, and I hope it continues!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

EmmaMayfield — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 05:48:17 +0000

Hey guys. So yeah, I should've figured that I'd end up doing it again. What I did? Okay, well, I've had a rocky past 7 years. And with that came anger and emotional problems. Soon I ended up realizing that throwing things at a wall subsequently almosts breaks them or the wall. So I'd bite my right arm. To unleash all of my frustrations out on something I had control of. Me. So, tonight I went downstairs to switch laundry and I found that my dad had rearranged things in my room. Looking into things he had no business looking into. I've had an emotional snacking problem that they know about (haven't done it in forever) and I forgot to clean it. And now my dad thinks that I'm sneaking food again. But anyway, I don't have a problem with him searching my bed. But he dumped out my nightstand. WHICH HAD MY DIARY IN IT. And I overloaded. And bit myself. Again. I love my dad, I do, but I need warning. I understand he found it while trying to fix something but he didn't have to check the nightstand. I need warning...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 23:35:14 +0000

*hugs you all* Thank you, my lovelies. They're still looking for someone. I don't even know where to start, when I go. What will I say.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 23:41:27 +0000

*hug* I'm so sorry, beautiful. Stay strong.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 00:02:10 +0000

I'm .... not dead. (Not for a lack of trying.) But I'm not going to be around. The internet . . . it's not a safe haven for me any longer. I love you all, and I wish the best for you all. Stay strong.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Lady.Lynnie — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 00:05:45 +0000

Uhm... Hi. I'm Lynnie. Diagnosed with major depression. It seems worse now. I can't look at a bottle of pills without calculating the amount that would kill me. It's like there are millions of voices in my head, and they're all yelling the same thing: die.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 00:17:05 +0000

Leah, you have no idea how worried we all were. I'm so glad you're okay! I hope everything goes well for you.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 19:47:26 +0000

LEAH! I don't know what's going on in your life, but stay strong, we love you, and I hope that it stops soon.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 19:51:19 +0000

Hi Lynnie! I'm Abby. Welcome to the fort! *gestures around wildly* You sound like you'll fit right in. I hope that the depression gets better. I've been deal

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 19:53:42 +0000

My post got cut off!:( I've been dealing with vaguely similar thoughts lately, but for me, they're saying different things. Stay strong and you can NaNoMail me anytime, though I won't guarantee that I will actually check my inbox.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

asiyah123 — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 21:11:58 +0000

Wow guys. *sigh* I wish the best for all of you. I can't believe I'm about to admit this but lately I've been feeling better. And it freaked me out. Like a lot. I burned. Twice. And I felt better about THAT. Gosh I feel like a bad person.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Telsanasee — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 14:27:14 +0000

yeah, sometimes I hear something or see something and triggers a memory that isn't even mine. It's a characters.... no, not even. It's thing that never happened, things I've forgotten but pop into my mind sometimes for no reason at all.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Telsanasee — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 14:30:47 +0000

i feel bipolar but I really don't know. It's just upsetting that I don't know how I feel sometimes

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Telsanasee — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 14:32:19 +0000

we're all crazy, we're writers! We have to be strange in one way or another

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 16:32:01 +0000

LEAH! OHMYGOSH! We were all so worried!!!! I'm so glad you're okay. We'll miss you, Leah! Hope we'll be seeing you back on the forums next year. We love you so much, and stay strong, beautiful.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Lady.Lynnie — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 16:28:57 +0000

I'm feeling a bit better now. Relapsed, but meh. It's a part of recovery. Seems like Leah will be missed on the forum, she seemed nice. I wish you well, Leah.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

YourDestiny — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 21:47:58 +0000

Hi, I have self-diagnosed myself, with the help of parents with ADD, Aspergers and Sensory Integration Disorder. What fun. :(

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 11:24:57 +0000

I'd like, if I may, to issue a warning to everyone in this thread. Always be wary of everyone you meet online. Never second-guess your instinct, because it isn't paranoia. It is just, and honest. Recognize it for what it is; your subconscious telling you to be on guard, 'cause this person is hiding something important from you. Never doubt yourself. There is someone here in this thread who is lying to each and every one of you. They're convincing, yes, but only if you don't look closely enough, and ignore what your gut tells you is true. They seem so genuine, so true. They're not. In the slightest. The little boy you're told exists, doesn't, and she's poisoning his proxy. Trust your instincts. They'll spare you a world of pain in the end.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 01:39:52 +0000

Someone's lying? In this thread? I don't mean this in a condescending way, but how would you know if they're lying unless you know them in real life?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Datarin — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 13:29:12 +0000

How would we know that they're not lying? (And do keep going on in a loop, since this is a question that can't be answered unless you can pry open their brain.) The poster above you simply wanted to caution. And caution we must, especially in "safe" spots where trust is handed out like candy. I can create an online persona, fake a bunch of accounts and impersonate a semi-legitimate guy from Arizona easier than I can obtain a fake passport, which is easy as is. With the right skills, anyone can become anyone else online, and there is no shortage of abuse in that area, both legal and illegal.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 13:58:49 +0000

Very true, very true. Sadly, it is so easy to make up a persona online and trick everybody. The original poster just made it sound like she had definite proof that there was an imposter in here. Logically, there probably is. But I don't know who it is, and they made it sound like they did. Maybe I'm interpreting this all wrong or something. I don't know.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 20:04:27 +0000

Okay- what on Earth? I agree with Treefrog that unless you know them in real life, you wouldn't know for sure. And with Datarin that it would be all too easy to make a fake persona online. But what makes you say this?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Datarin — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 12:34:56 +0000

No, you simply reacted in the way that most would when confronted with such a possibility :) I assume that the original poster, upon reading the above quote stating how being online wasn't a safe haven for that particular person, decided to go ahead and extrapolate for the sake of everyone else in the thread. It's best left as a cautionary note with well intentions rather than implying suspect posters around these parts.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Datarin — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 12:45:02 +0000

http://nanowrimo.org/en/forum_comments/1205699 I assume that it was a reaction upon reading this comment. Well-intentioned, if not slightly exaggerated. Again, there is no concluded proof of trust unless you can read someone else's mind. Even meeting them in real life does not constitute trust, nor does knowing said person for decades. Skilled liars are able to fabricate their entire lives, and their everyday actions, in order to succeed at their goal. And no, there is no existing technology that can perform such a feat yet. We may be able to study brain waves and pinpoint certain kinds of emotions, but that does in no manner equal "mind reading".

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 20:07:15 +0000

Yes, I do know who it is. Either they're lying about who they aren't, or who they are. Lying about both isn't possible. As for how I know, it's a combination of logic and what the person directly told me. What they claimed to be a lie may not be a lie, but what they claimed to be true cannot be true if the other side is. They're opposites, and as such, are incompatible. Both cannot exist at the same time. Either what they claimed to be a lie is true, or what they claimed to be true is a lie. The context of the lie and the truth is a matter of both their existence as they claim it to be, and that of another person. Essentially, they've lied about who they are, and about the existence of another person, then came clean with me, telling me what they claimed to be the truth, and the truth is the exact opposite of what they claimed to be a lie. Again, both cannot exist at the same time - they cancel each other out. It's logic. It's a warning. Guard yourself, and be prepared should you find it to be true. Anyone can lie, and everyone has. Some are significantly larger in scope than others. Whether you believe me on the details or not (which I understand perfectly well if you don't. I'm deliberately being vague, which can signify a lie in and of itself. Should you choose to believe such, nothing I say can convince you otherwise.), the overall message is just. Be careful who you trust, especially through the internet. You never do know, because it's so nauseatingly easy to lie when you don't have to look someone in the eye. You can email back and fourth, text, Skype, and talk on the phone 'til your heart's content. You can become friends, best friends, and family. Then you find out the truth, and everything is shattered. Be careful. Be on guard. Question everything your gut tells you is wrong. You'll spare yourself a hell of a lot of pain.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

qwertz — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 20:40:27 +0000

However, the consequences of falsely accusing someone are, to my mind, far greater than the consequences of being taken in. If someone is genuine and in trouble, being told people think they are lying could be... devastating. If someone is garnering undeserved sympathy, then yes there is pain when they are discovered, but that is, in most cases, not as "bad". Not that there is any measure for agony, any jug by which it can be quantified, any ruler to determine who is in greater or less pain. Neither should there be. But I digress. I wonder why, since you are so certain, you do not name the person but seek instead to sow seeds of doubt and mistrust. Then again, I hope that you preserve their anonymity, for the sake of them and us. Take it up with them privately – if you have not done so already. I believe you, but I do not want to know who. Friendships and support are still there even if someone is not who they say they are. Someone who is there for you, is there for you. In my opinion. I don't believe I've posted here before, but I lurk a lot. So hello! I'm Elizabeth. I have self-diagnosed Asperger's (several people agree, but Mum doesn't and there's enough going on that I'm not going to push to get a diagnosis) and depression (which nobody IRL knows about, but I am certain of; to get it diagnosed officially would involve... questions). Heartbreaking though some posts are, I love reading through this thread because you are all so supportive, understanding, etc. of each other. I hope it's alright if I join in from time to time.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 22:16:21 +0000

I think I *might* know who you are talking about. I've noticed some inconsistencies in stories, and the facts line up with what you've said. But I won't say in case I'm wrong. Still, thank you for warning us. Sometimes, we need a reminder in here, where we might be a bit too trusting, that we aren't all who we say to be.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

EmmaMayfield — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 02:58:45 +0000

@Graverobber, please be careful of your words. If this person is actually who they say they are, you have no idea how bad you may be hurting them mentally and emotionally. It happened to me before. I am forever scarred.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Datarin — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 03:50:38 +0000

Yes, we have no idea because we won't be able to reach "them". There's no guarantees, either false or positive, and it relies on the poster to have the correct judgement in which is the more apt choice. Graverobber chose to state it, and whether that is a good/bad choice is between them and the person involved. Being kind does not necessarily mean that you should smooth away all flaws. Calling someone out on their fibs can, sometimes, result differently than simply "scarring" -- they can teach an invaluable lesson, regardless of whether that will harm them. This is not a case of "but I got hurt, so don't do it to them!" -- nothing is, actually, since everyone reacts differently (and in ways that others cannot predict). So, please, don't.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 23:39:33 +0000

Listen to grave. She's being honest in her warning. Trust me, I would know. I'm who she's talking about. Yes, I lied. I lied about many, many things. My name, my age, my relationship with a special little boy. They're all lies. I'm coming clean because you deserve to know. Firstly, my name is Kaylyn. I'm not particularly fond of my name. I went searching, and found a name that I did like, that I could be called. In comes Leah. That wasn't a lie used only on the internet. Maybe I should have restricted it to that. Maybe I shouldn't have done it at all. I became Leah. I convinced my family to call me Leah, my school, friends I've had since preschool. I was Leah in every way but on my birth certificate. Then, my age. I'm sixteen. I lied about my age because, well, I'm not sure why I lied about my age. Maybe it was because I was afraid people wouldn't take me seriously. I was fifteen when I became really active here. I've always thought I was older than my age, so I said it was. I didn't think it'd be that big of a deal. It was three years. Not a giant difference. Under that name and age, I met an incredibly special person. Incredibly special people, in all honesty, but I only truly connected with one. Graverobber. She was my best friend, my sister, for a little more than a year. But it was a lie. I was a lie. It's true that I was honest with her in my feelings, in my day-to-day happenings, but I wasn't true in who I was, which is the worst thing I could have done. I originally planned to tell her everything. My real name, my real age, but I always found an excuse not to. I knew her, and I knew that when she found out I'd lied I'd lose her forever. And I desperately did not want to lose her. As time went on, I had to create more lies to cover up my previous ones. Some lies were unnecessary, completely. I still don't know why I told them. I guess I was so afraid that I was too boring to be paid any attention to. I needed to lie to get attention, to hold that attention. I was starving for it. There were so many times where I was going to tell the truth. If I would have kept it at my name and age, the outcome couldn't have been nearly as sour. But, alas, I didn't. I created a faked relationship with a very real person. My little brother, Chrystopher. I told people he was my son. He kind of is, but not to the extent I said. He doesn't live with me. He lives with his birth mom, but I often keep him, and he often calls me mom. Mostly, though, he is my brother. His name wasn't as much of a lie as my own, his middle name is Ayden. As for why I pretended to be his mother to you guys. I've always wanted a child. I can't have them. So, when a child is born that is a close family member, I jump at the chance to help out. We get close, and do share a bond not unlike a mother and child. But it never is one. I made a huge mess. And I know I'm hurting everyone that's going to read this. I can't keep it hidden anymore, though. It's killing me. Literally. Honestly, though, it doesn't matter that you're going to hurt after reading this. You've been hurting since you first read the first message I ever posted here. You just weren't aware of it. Ignorance is bliss, they say. I told Sam the truth two months ago, I think. I'm not sure, everything is fuzzy. I told her the truth because I was sick of pretending. The first two lies were seemingly harmless. And could have remained so. We're encouraged to not use our real names on the internet. But mine went much too far. I became someone else. I became a person with memories that were not mine, experiences I know did not happen to me, but that plagued me every second of my days. They were events of my own fabrication, but they were beginning to become real. In my head, anyway. My family life began to fall apart. I became withdrawn from everyone, especially my mom. We don't always have the best relationship, but we were always close. There isn't anything I didn't tell my mom once upon a time. But over the last year, I distanced myself further and further from her. We rarely spoke. Thanks to the lies I was feeding you all, especially Sam, I began to hate her. I forgot who I was. I forgot that Kaylyn was a real person. I got lost. I'd managed to keep most of the lies on the internet. But then, I started telling them to people I really knew in person. They were getting grander and grander. The day I told Sam the truth, was the day I planned on dying. I told her everything, and then swallowed the cocktail of pills I'd put together. While I was in the hospital, I got an amazing therapist. Better than my last, by far. I, as corny as this is going to sound, found myself again. I became Kaylyn again. And I was devastated. I've hurt so many people it's unbelievable. Sam called me poison, and she's completely right. I am poison. Not only to other humans, but to myself. Which is perhaps worst of all. I'm working on myself. I'm a pathological liar. That's what I meant when I said the internet wasn't safe for me anymore. I realize you all have no reason whatsoever to believe a word of what I just wrote. Honestly, I don't blame you. At all. I am a monster of the worst kind. I am a parasite. I am the bad guy. And I won't be that person any more. So I'm leaving the nanowrimo community. There. That's the truth. I know some of you are going to see me leaving the forums as a cowardly move. Maybe it is. But let me make this clear: I am not leaving for my own benefit. I am leaving for yours. Live your life to the fullest, and be weary of everyone on the internet. I'm sorry, though the words mean nothing at all coming from me. Goodbye.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

EmmaMayfield — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 01:33:20 +0000

Kaylyn/Leah, *hugs* What you just did was come clean. Believe it or not, you gained some major points with me for that. :) I once thought of doing something similar, and I don't blame you for doing it. If you want to stay, I'll accept you here. You are still welcome, no matter how bad you think you are/were. *sends hugs* Well, with that said, I should probably make sure I don't misrepresent myself on the internet. My actual name is Megan. I'm not sure I said that in my introduction. I don't exactly hide it, but I've started to become - well, not me, like Kaylyn. I've actually started to become another person using my alias, and I don't think I'm doing right by not continually making an effort to stay me. Emma Mayfield actually came from the name that my mom intended to give me, Emma Mae. I morphed it and nearly became Emma with it. What I don't think you all know about me is that I've been through a lot. No one IRL likes me, and I thought that merely 'becoming' something else would fix that. I'm sorry if I misrepresented myself as well. Stay strong everyone! *hugs* And never be afraid to tell the truth.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 02:24:18 +0000

It's hard to accept, but come on, it's the Internet. Everybody lies to an extent. You just took it a bit too far. And because of this, I'll come clean. In my first post on here, I said that I had anxiety. It was a lie. I was too afraid to face my real problems, let alone confess to a crowd of people, so I needed an excuse to be in here. In reality, I struggle with cutting, but I've recovered a bit. I've been strong for 9 days now. It's not long, but it's something. I wish that was my biggest problem. I have an eating disorder. But it's so different than the cutting. I don't have a will to stop skipping meals. My friends come out with their problems, but I act so carefree, like I'm not hiding anything. And Leah, as you will always be Leah to me, remember that you inspired me to do this. You called me beautiful when I hit rock bottom with my self esteem. And while you may have been living a lie, your impacts weren't lies. I don't give a crap if you are who you say you are if you convinced me not to cut that night. And because you helped me, I want you to get help. If it means leaving NaNo, than so be it. You HAVE affected me, and positively. Never forget that Leah. -Abby

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 02:28:30 +0000

We love you anyway. I don't care who likes you IRL. I know what it's like to have no friends, and it hurts. You are wonderful and amazing no matter what you've been through.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

bridgetotoole — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 05:14:29 +0000

Hope you're alright. I just started using NaNoWriMo lately, and I do hope you're alright. Stay strong, hoping you find your inner-peace to stay alive for yourself, and us ! =] -Bridget

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

bridgetotoole — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 05:27:15 +0000

Hello, new here ! My name is Bridget, I just turned 20. Get ready for a long post, heh. These are things I've been diagnosed with: Paranoid-Schizophrenia, Recovered Anorexia, OCD, Bipolar II Disorder, Depression, Anxiety, PTSD with maladaptive personality traits (I get violent.) I have BPD, and possible Anti-social personality disorder, though I highly doubt I have it. If I do, I'm very normal for a ASPD-er. I also have been told I am an alcoholic. I call it being stable. Psychiatrists think I have: I also found out in my first mental hospital stay that I have Synesthesia. We were all playing games where we had to read cards, and I had to read something, probably a letter, and I called it some number or color... But I just thought it was a learning disability, so I never talked about it. They also think I might have an autism spectrum thing. Hah, I know nothing about autism except Asperger's. (I have friends who have this.) A psychiatrist I had told me I had a skin-picking disorder, which I greatly struggle with. I am not attractive half the time because of my scabs (usually on my face.) I don't call it "diagnosed" though, because it wasn't really brought up a lot in session, so I don't talk about it much.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 21:14:06 +0000

Kaylyn, Leah, Alice. All of the above. Yeah, it's a shock. But I still care about Kaylyn as much as I always cared about Leah. You helped us all stay strong. And you told us the truth, love, something that couldn't have been easy. I'd love it if you stuck around, but I understand if you don't feel like that's a good idea. It's your choice. But id you want to talk to somebody, I'm here for you. You can PM me and I'll give you my email address. I still love you. Stay strong, beautiful.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 21:17:39 +0000

Therapy in two ad a half Weeks. I'm six days short of two months self harm free. I started telling my best friend my story. I think he took it harder than I expected. I feel awful about that, but I'm also relieved. I expected him to say O was just lookibg for attention.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 21:20:23 +0000

Hey, Bridget~ Welcome. I bet you're beautiful. I'm here if you need someone to talk to, okay? Stay strong.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 21:38:13 +0000

What has two thumbs and is beginning to feel comfortable with herself? This chick! I'm so happy. I watched an episode of The Voice and one girl stuck out at me. She had a great singing voice, but the main reason I liked her was because she just looked so happy. I don't even remember her name. But, guys, I'm completely doing away with my old wardrobe. I'm going to be confident! It doesn't matter if I'm thin anymore, guys! *spins in a circle* *eats cookies* *puts on dress*

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

bridgetotoole — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 21:53:40 +0000

Aw, thanks so much . Your post is beyond awesome =] and thanks so much!!! =] I shall stay strong =]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

bridgetotoole — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 21:54:35 +0000

Yay, therapy! You're on the right track, I'd be dead without therapy. And congrats on being two-months self-harm free! Proud of you. !

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

bridgetotoole — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 21:55:20 +0000

Proud of you! Dresses are nice, too. I need to wear more of those. heh. =]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 22:47:57 +0000

Exactly. I bought this wonderful happy dress. At first I was like, "Er, I'm hardly even...like...a girl..." I tend to lean more towards the masculine, practical side of things, but I don't know. It's just fun to spin in circles whilst wearing a dress...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 03:59:44 +0000

I'm glad you've gotten help. I'm not gonna lie, I'm very nervous to meet my therapist, but at this point it can't hurt to give it a shot. Things will just keep getting worse if I don't go. And thank you :3 it's... It's not easy. I'm actually on the forums right now to distract myself because otherwise ideal like I might go searching for a razor. *sigh* No, no, I can't do that.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 20:48:34 +0000

Kaylyn, I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you for being brave enough to tell us all this, even though you have never met us in real life. I'm proud of you for being honest with us- it means so much to me. And you should know something else- I'm not mad that you didn't tell us everything about you and that you made up things. Because there's one thing that Leah and Kaylyn share- the ability to type "Stay strong, beautiful" in response to one of my posts. You have no idea how much those three words meant to me. Kaylyn, we missed you. When you left, we worried about YOU. We care. Or I do, at least. You are not poison to me, Kaylyn. You are medicine- you are so kind to be so caring to all of us on here. For our benefit you're leaving? At least we know this time. But don't be afraid to check back in with us. We want to know you're okay. And maybe this will cheer some people up, but when I heard "pathological liar", I immediately thought of the movie "The Breakfast Club", because there's a character who is a pathological liar. Has anyone seen that movie? Great movie- you should watch it! Well, Kaylyn, I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong. For us.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 02:22:35 +0000

Thank you, all. You're all such beautiful people... inside and out. I might come back from time to time, and maybe I'll be comfortable enough to be active again sometime. I just think I need a break from the internet. The therapist agrees. I'll stay strong if you all promise to stay strong. Good luck! See you soon.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 09:01:17 +0000

I'm glad this didn't turn into the [removed]/pissing match I expected it to - kudos to you all for responding with some degree of intelligence. Yes, this is the internet. It's the easiest thing in the world to lie, especially here, and everyone has at one point or another. It's expected, even encouraged. Lying about the superficial isn't positive in the slightest, but it's not a major issue. Lying about anything deeper is deplorable. Just because it's done every day doesn't make it right, nor does it mean you should do it. People kill themselves every day. Doesn't mean you should. When you get to know someone, though, you have to come clean. Before it goes any further, before any kind of feelings develop, or any kind of trust starts to build, you have to tell them everything you've lied about. Otherwise, you're digging your own grave, and you're gonna have to lay in it sooner or later. Most likely when things are going their best, and you're closer than ever before. Can't have the good without the bad. Life's too well balanced to give freebies. The ability to forgive is admirable. Again, kudos. However, I'm not going to. The lies you've been told are only the beginning, and rest only on the surface for most, if not all, of you. They, and many others, run much, much deeper for me. She and I were closer than most can fathom, on my part, at least. The lies were woven into the fabric of our relationship, and are, in essence, what tore us apart. Her above posts do nothing but raise more questions in my mind, about things I didn't even consider could be lies until just now. I won't forgive. I won't forget. Curiosity killed the cat. Which makes me glad to be a fox. I'm not stupid. I'm not afraid to walk away. I stand by everything I've said, misquoted though I've been. Cut my throat if I tell a lie. I gave up on the faerietale.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Graverobber — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 09:06:57 +0000

[Removed]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 15:50:35 +0000

You know what? I'm not going to hide. I've been happy since I came clean to Sam and lost her. Though, did I really ever have her? Sure, she "gave me her all", but how can you give someone that doesn't exist your all? The whole experience has been an eye opener. I've found my true friends. Believe me, the lies weren't only here. They weren't even the same lies. The people that stuck by me when I came clean, though, are my friends. I don't need the others. Mom and I are talking again. She still has her bad habits, but they've lessened. Especially the ones that I talked about in my livejournal. I actually, truly, laugh now. It's not forced anymore. I can smile without feeling bad about it. I haven't cut in two months. My scars are beginning to fade into little pink lines. They'll always be visible, which I'm glad of, but it feels nice to be able look down and not see tons of angry red marks on my skin. And I'm single. Happy about it. So yeah. I'm doing fantastically. And, for once in very, very long time, I don't feel guilty about being happy. So sue me.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 20:40:07 +0000

Chestergirl28, you said it better than I could have...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 20:47:24 +0000

I have to admit that I'm nothing like I pretended to be on the forums... I kept most details the same, (My age, I do have synesthesia, OCD, ADD, etc) but I created a new identity, new appearance. I've been hurt so often in real life, by friends, family, people I trusted... I'm looked down at so often, like I'm subhuman. I have some issues in real life, I've wished I wouldn't wake up in the morning. Felt like I had nothing to live for. I don't trust anyone in real life- I've been harmed too often. This was my way of coping. I felt that if I made a new identity online I could forget about real life, be happy for once. Live out my fantasies. I could be anyone I wanted to, and no one would know what I was really like. I'm leaving the forums for a year or so... I need to work out some of my issues in real life. I probably won't be on by next NaNo, but perhaps the one after that. When I come back on I'll be making a new account. Thank you so much Kaylyn/Leah... you really helped me with that post. I'm so sorry everyone... I know the words seem so shallow, but I really am. I may come back on once in a while, but for the most part I'll be staying away. Goodbye everyone....

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

SongoftheNight — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 20:08:02 +0100

Hi! *waves* I'm SongoftheNight, I've been told I likely have mild OCD, anxiety and ADHD, and I likely have a whole slew of other issues. I also have an eating disorder, I don't know what to call it as it doesn't really fit any specific category.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 03:13:26 +0100

Hi! I'm Abby *waves back excitedly*. Welcome to.... Uhhhh...... Here. We're happy to have you. Well, not happy that you have these problems, but happy that you have decided to embrace your insanity and join us. We're twins on the eating disorder and not fitting a type thing. It's annoying for it to not have a name. Bye!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

CountryGirl13 — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 17:23:43 +0100

I've had OCD/ticks for years, since I was so young and can't remember some of it. I have meltdowns where I scream and cry. I get paranoid. I've been a cutter and I've been suicidal. But...it's etting better. It will get better. Someday this OCD will leave and I'll stop wanting to hurt myself and actually feel normal. I've stopped the cutting and I still have suicidal thoughts, and still deal with OCD. Noises and scents bother me, as do textures and touch. Probably some OCD thing.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

CountryGirl13 — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 17:25:22 +0100

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

SongoftheNight — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 01:54:34 +0100

I ended up not being hungry all day yesterday, although I tried eating, and then becoming really hungry at about 6. I ate a banana and about a third of a sandwich, and then I ended up eating a piece of lasagna, two bagels, a handful of chips, a can of pop, and 5 candies at 6:13. :/ Any ideas of how I can sort of regulate my eating habits? I'm becoming really tired during the day, but I don't really get hungry until 6. I usually go running every day or so, but lately I've become just too tired to... I don't want to go to a therapist or anything like that- I've had too many bad experiences.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

SongoftheNight — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 01:56:04 +0100

*today

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

asiyah123 — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 16:45:31 +0100

@Songofthenight Not really. Maybe go back to running? I don't know. I don't eat before eleven(which my mom hates) so I basically don't get hungry until late at night.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

EmmaMayfield — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 03:30:02 +0100

Well guys, I've been working on a project for awhile now, called Project Impact. It's Real Stories by Real People about how being bullied/abused changed their lives. Anonymity is used unless otherwise requested, so if you guys want to share your true story, let me know. The Project is Here. WARNING: POSSIBLE TRIGGER CONTENT http://www.wattpad.com/3883332-impact-changing-the-world-one-voice-at-a-time

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 19:53:25 +0100

Hey everyone? I need your help. My friend moved last fall. He was one of my best friends. And so was his sister. I just got the news from my best friend/really more like a sister (we'll call her C), who was also friends with the two that moved (S for the girl and J for the boy) that S has anorexia. The family is having a tough time already in North Carolina and I'm really scared for S and the whole family. The problem is, C wasn't supposed to tell anyone, so I can't write with my hopes and wishes for them. Do you guys think S will be okay? Her family is really amazing and supportive. And I care about them all a lot.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 23:37:15 +0100

Stay strong, honey. I love you, and I'll miss you!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 23:39:35 +0100

There's no way to truly know if she'll be okay, but she has a support system. That's more than many people have. Anorexia is a very cruel disease, but there's hope. There's hope in everything. Just be there for her. You don't have to mention anything about Ana.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 23:46:31 +0100

[Removed]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 01:50:19 +0100

I'm so sorry about her dog. I would donate, but sadly I'm broke. Also, I looked at her jewelry, and wow, you weren't kidding. It's gorgeous. But as I said earlier, I'm broke, so I can't really buy anything. Still, I send my thoughts out for her dog. I hope he gets better.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Jennifermwcg — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 03:31:18 +0100

Thank you. ^^

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 21:57:36 +0100

I'm so happy to say, that she has raised all of the money, plus some. She's going to use the extra for his follow-up care.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 22:09:45 +0100

Today on a scale from 1-10=-3. Everything that I've been wishing for the last six months went down the drain. Like everything, everything. And to top it all off, I got in an argument with my best friend over eating disorders. She's convinced that one of my other friends has one. She outright told me that, and I quote, I am not being considerate enough of her feelings when she says that she has had 1.5 hours of sleep and if I keep brushing this off then her eating disorder will end up killing her. She doesn't seem to understand that I have dealt with eating disorders and cutting and I flatter myself that I might know a bit more about her feelings than she does. And before you judge me, the friend that I am apparently not sympathetic enough with has told some pretty major lies lately. The other day, she said that she didn't have breakfast to me, but then turned around and told someone else that she always eats breakfast. And that happens a lot. And right now, I just want to lay here and cry all day. By sadly, one cannot when stuff must be done. Sayonara, Abby

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 22:10:38 +0100

But sadly, not by sadly.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

CountryGirl13 — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 22:57:27 +0100

Ugh...I'm dealing with thoughts of self harm again. Today my homeschool group teacher told me to stop talking and the first thought I have is "I want to cut myself". I had been picked on and had hurtful things said to me a few weeks ago and again want to cut. Sometimes I get so angry at something simple like math and have this...rage build up inside me where I want to destroy something, or scream,or anything. Any tips on how to control and stop this?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 01:43:12 +0100

My best trick is taking deep breaths and telling yourself that you can stay strong through this. It can be difficult at times and it doesn't always work, but it's all I've got. Also, you should try and avoid your triggers as much as possible. I know that you can't really avoid math, but take breaks to keep yourself from getting too worked up.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 21:30:13 +0100

Today. Has. Frocking. Sucked. Yesterday, I found a stray cat about to have kittens under my porch. I brought her in, and put her in a box to have the kittens in. She had five, and all are healthy, but I can't keep them. Our landlord only allows us to have one pet at a time, and we already have three. So began my search for a cat and kitten rescue. I've found one, but it's more likely they won't be able to help than it is they can. :( So, the beautiful babies and their mom are probably going to die. I've been close to tears all day, and I am utterly pissed off at the stupid people that don't spay and neuter their cats/dogs and them drop them off on the side of the road! Grr. Rant over. I have to keep looking.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 22:21:41 +0100

Good luck with your hunt. I hope that you find good homes for them.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 22:45:11 +0100

Try Perfect Pets Rescue. It's based in Red Hook, NY. But they rescue kittens and dogs from Georgia (go figure) and I bet they'd love to have a bunch of kittens. I have a kitten from them and they're really great. Good luck!!!!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 22:35:42 +0100

Thanks, guys. I get to keep one of the little boys, I named him Sielu. He's all white, and freaking adorable. The mom also now has a home, her name is Bella. Then, the orange one is going to go with my little sister's friend. His name is Pumpkin. I'm still looking for homes for Ashton (He's the grey one), Aria (all black, girl), and Carson (Black with itty patches of brown, girl). Hopefully we'll find them one!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 18:24:12 +0100

YOUTUBE MY LOVE, YOUTUBE IS A MAGICAL PLACE OF GOOD PEOPLE WHO HELP I'm excited today okay anyway Go on YouTube and find 'idranktheseawater' She has a few videos up about how to resist the urge to self harm. She's really helped me out a lot. As far as while you're in school, I usually search through my brain to find the funniest things I've seen in the past few weeks. I'm so busy trying not to laugh that I completely forget that i want to cut. It's weird but it works.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 18:31:20 +0100

Okay guys. I'm going to get better. I really, truly want to, and I'm GOING to. I've been running on a cycle of starve/eat normally/starve/eat normally for a while, and his voice has been ringing in my head all the time now, "I don't want you to ever do anything bad to yourself," oh god you guys I can't go on like this. I followed a buttload of recovery blogs on Tumblr. I'm going to get healthy and happy and I know it won't be easy, but I don't need easy, I need possible. And for those of you who, like me, are trapped in the never-ending free fall of an eating disorder, I wish you luck finding a way out. Try this website: matchstickmolly.com. It helped knock a bit of sense into me. I don't know. My thoughts are all jumbled right now. Apparently a lot of people in my school think I have Asperger's, which I didn't really think I had, but then my best friend started talking about how she thought I did, and then she made me research all the symptoms and take like a billion online tests and I'm like SILLY GIRL, THIS IS THE INTERNET, YOU CANNOT BASE A DIAGNOSIS OFF OF AN INTERNET TEST, but then ugh. I'm just nervous because I'm going to therapy tomorrow and there are a thousand things that could go wrong, for example, being referred to a psychiatrist and being diagnosed with something I never thought I had. I'm just nervous ok bye

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 20:06:02 +0100

I hate having to make choices. I know I should consider myself lucky for having so many choices, but I don't want to have to make this choice. I don't want to have to pick. Who can pick between the person they grew up aspiring to become and the person they want to be now? Who can pick between their childhood and their future? Who can pick between the place they call home and they place that will be home? Who can pick between their future as who they thought they were and their future as who they might become? Who can pick between two halves of their heart? I can't.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

pandoraparadox — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 21:04:36 +0100

Hugs for everyone who might need it. I know I haven't posted on here in a while and probably very few if any of yall know who I am, but idk. I feel like I don't really have anyone left to talk to really and it's just so much easier on the internet, where I can almost pretend to myself that there aren't really people who could be judging me, hating me, secretly criticizing me, or whatever - it's just text, right? And even if it isn't, I don't have to see anyone, they don't even know me, I'm not making myself vulnerable in any real way, etc etc. But seriously, screw social anxiety. I thought it would be better after I came back to California, cause the sun always makes me feel better. But it's getting to the point where I can't even do basic interactions (like say buying snacks from a cornerstore) without feeling like (I can't think of an appropriate word to put here that will also convey my meaning). Like I'm being rude, offensive, mean, or a bad person generally. Or like I suck at social interactions and am horrifically awkward. And that as a result I'm a worthless and disgusting human being. OCD hasn't been exactly treating me well either (& I have to wonder if it's tied into my social anxiety, as it seems to follow a loose obsession-compulsion pattern...) and I've been forcing myself to spike a lot, which is good for treatment but it's ------ exhausting on top of everything else. And it almost seems like since I've started employing the CBT techniques that my obsessions are even getting more frequent, or at least some of them are. It's just getting to be to the point where my anxiety exhausts me so much that I don't even care about anything anymore. I just don't want to exist. I'm not going to kill myself - I'm too afraid - but i just feel like life is exhausting. Purposeless. Like it isn't worthwhile anymore, if it ever was. I just can't bring myself to do things anymore, things that I need to do like homework, like buying medicine, like going to the bank. And especially any social thing that would involve anxiety even for a 'normal' person, like asking professors for recommendations or applying for jobs. And it just stresses me out even more to think that I am this incapable, this weak, and that I'll have to go out into the 'real world' in a year... I'm not ready. And that's - it's really ----- scary. I know I should get therapy. It's been on my to-do list since the beginning of the semester. But it's exhausting just to think about calling and asking for help. I don't have the courage to do it. And there's only a month left into the semester, at which point I have to fly back to the opposite coast, so even if they'll let me do it... idk. And I'm so afraid of them saying "no, you can't" which is stupid, but I don't want to go through all that stress and effort just to hear that it was for nothing. Just for failure, for rejection. My mindset is so screwed up, I know, but. Blegh. I just don't know what to do. And I have so much stuff coming up that I should really do/take care of that will require me to talk to people and ask for things and it's just terrifying. It's honestly pathetic.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

エログロ — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 21:08:50 +0100

You would be wary of medical information on the internet to begin with, but anything regarding mental health AND ANY SORT OF STUPID ONLINE QUIZ should be avoided. Plus autistic spectrum disorders manifests in many different ways, so going off stereotypes is pretty outdated and wrong. Not to mention while many doctors have contemplated the idea that many/most people have autistic characteristics to some degree (hence why it's refereed to as a "spectrum"), it really doesn't matter unless the characteristics are affecting your life negatively. That's kinda like why sadness is a normal human emotion, but depression is something that should be treated. The National Institute of Heath is what I'd recommend if you're curious about anything. I'd actually suggest looking at their information and articles if you are nervous about things. Many people don't trust the psychiatric profession because they just are afraid, but if you're armed with good information, you shouldn't be either!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 21:27:27 +0100

I met my therapist today and she was really nice and she likes Mean Girls so now we're besties~

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

EmmaMayfield — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 03:04:19 +0100

Guys. Help me please. Hugs, anything. I gave an old classmate an honest opinion about her dress - wayy too old for a 14 year old, and I meant it in a nice, loving way - but the world doesn't. They don't know I have a problem wording everything, so they think I was calling her a slut and a whore even though I wasn't. Lets just say I broke down and bit. Again. This is so hard having wording problems. And social problems. :(

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

EmmaMayfield — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 05:45:03 +0100

And guess what she just called me? A b*tch.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 15:17:10 +0100

*hugs* I'm so sorry. It can really be awful when people take something that you said the wrong way. Still, it gave her no right to call you a b!tch. I'm also sorry about your communication problems. I understand how hard it can be sometimes, because I have problems with arguing nicely/politely and getting my emotions across to other people. Just stay strong and keep reminding yourself that you'll never have to see her again in 4 years and summer break is coming up soon. Try your hardest to not let her affect you because she doesn't matter. She obviously isn't very mature if she can't handle a little criticism. Stay the better person, but most of all, stay strong and stay beautiful.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Shadow_of_Flame — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 16:19:38 +0100

I haven't been on here for a long time -I tend to forget about forums, so I'll reintroduce myself. I'm Shadow of Flame, you can call me that, some variation, or Ed. No it is not my real name. I was diagnosed with ADHD and GAD six years ago... or is it almost seven.... close enough. In January, I changed meds after six and a half years of being on the same medication, this also involved adding an anti-anxiety medication, which I think helps, but I'm not one hundred percent sure. I have a paper that...I'm not actually sure when I'm supposed to turn it it (I got an extension, and was off all week for Spring Break), but probably Tuesday. It's not coming along that well, and my go-to strategy for avoid stress/panic of it not being written is to go do something else (The ADHD doesn't exactly help), but since I also hyperfocus that typically results in hours later, having to go back to the homework, and panicking more. Not doing it, or doing a poor job really isn't an option for me -I know I can write this paper, and do well (and so do my parents, so that added pressure). It's also the first grade of the new Quarter. Any suggestions to uh, beat the panic I guess? Or at least work through it?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 02:11:51 +0100

I'm so sorry, darling. *hugs* I'm sure you tried your best to tell her what you really meant, but I'm afraid I haven't any other advice except to try and clarify that you didn't mean it as an insult... Best of luck, darling. I hope things get better...

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

theycallmeAlice — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 00:24:11 +0100

"Sometimes you have to do something you don't want to, something that makes you so uncomfortable you can't stand it, to get the closure you desperately need." That was my facebook status, an hour ago. I was talking about my past here, and with others. Two of the three people I bonded to most closely and I decided to go back to then, to get closure. I didn't want to. God, I didn't want to. It hurts. It makes me feel like screaming to be back there, in that mentality, being her... It hurts. But it's a necessary evil, a necessary pain. I was talking to "Juliette", one that I loved so dearly... we were so close, even closer than Sami and I were. I was explaining why I wasn't going to be staying long. She said something along the lines of being afraid to say goodbye because so much of herself was built within Juliette, that she didn't know who she was any more. I replied with this. "It was a relief, to be able to say things, express things, that you otherwise couldn't. But we just got too entwined in it, it started to eat at who we really are, deep down. And maybe Julie and Leah really are part of us... But we're not them. They're not real. They're a grandiose replication of a tattered soul, really... and it can't be healthy for me, for you, to hold onto them for so long, so tightly... I know that, for me, it's going to take a lot of therapy to fully get over Leah... Kylie...Ayden... But it must be done. I don't want to live my life as half of who I am." I started to cry at the rightness of what I said. Guys. I unlocked it. I figured it out. I know how to heal. I have to let it go. Everything. Her, you guys, Juliette, Bella, Sami, everyone that touched me, that I touched. And it's going to hurt like hell. But I want to be better. I want to be ME again.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

EmmaMayfield — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 00:33:00 +0100

Kaylyn: *hugs*

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

CountryGirl13 — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 17:10:58 +0100

Thanks for all the tips, everyone. I haven't cut for a while! I'm proud of myself. I've started recognizing what makes me feel like cutting, usually when the girls I frequently comein contact with insult me frequently. XP But... I haven't given into the urge. Emma, I'm sorry they said that to you. It's not true, you knw. They're just mean.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

CountryGirl13 — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 12:54:27 +0100

I guess the other reason why I started cutting was to punish myself. Like when my teacher was upset with me. I was thinking "You're bad, you upset your teacher, you should cut yourself." And I guess the first part of stopping is finding what triggers it like someone sai.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Sun, 15 Apr 2012 21:56:57 +0100

My OCD has been all bleh lately. Buuuuuuut, on the bright side, everything else has gotten like 12 times better. Which makes me happy. Hugs for all those who need them, cheers and thumbs up for recovery, and stay strong and stay beautiful for everybody. Peace, Abby

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Telsanasee — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 22:00:09 +0100

same here, I just don't feel hungry. It's like... the only think I actually like to eat is chocolate, and that's only because I start feeling so tired. I mean, I don't even wake up early or stay up late or anything like that, it's just weird. Oh, and, maybe you should eat fruit or something during the day... I know I don't, but that's because I don't get energy from healthy things.... That way, when it's six aclock, you won't be as hungry or eat as much. That's my advice, but not even I follow my advice. Also drink water! My mom is always telling me that!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Telsanasee — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 15:45:52 +0100

As far as I know, I do not have any mental illness, I'm just pretty sure I am... just no one has taken notice to diagnosis it. No matter what, I have to have a goal, or I feel empty, and I have to have something to work on, or I feel useless. I can't stand a messy house. I have to clean it up, even if it's little things, I just have to. And my thoughts, are completely full of stories. I can't think about normal things because it doens't feel normal to me. Only stories. Sometimes I just feel really sad, and tired, and sick. Right to the point where I have to cry my eyes out for a couple of hours and throwup afterwards to make me feel better. I'm scared of dissapointment, like really bad. And I have to blame things on someone, and mostly it's me. Like the time I broke both my new brackets (for braces) I began crying because I thought that my orthadontist would only cover two and the next one I'd break would have to be paid by my mom, and I blamed myself for that. I also get really stressed. Like, up to the point that I get headaches and my bloodpressure goes up, and it's like everyday. Almost everyweek I have atleast two headaches, I think. And I feel alone, because I don't dream like others, and the rest of my family doesn't seem to notice because I don't tell them. I feel like my siblings hate me, and I can't stand people always watching me, or being the center of attention. I get really nervous in my neighborhood at dark, and I always have to fight, otherwise I feel weak and pathetic. And I also have a hard time going to sleep. But there's also this thing that I do with my back and sometimes my neck. I start feeling like I can't feel right without popping them and so whenever I get up from a long sitting or long standing, I have to pop my back.... I'm also very suspicious when it comes to people, even with little things. Please diagnose me, it would make be feel like I belong here in this thread and that there's someone I can talk to.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Telsanasee — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 15:50:07 +0100

I also need to know why someone is talking about me (take note that I have a very rare name) and their expressions when they look at me, and what they think. Otherwise I feel weird.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Telsanasee — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 16:05:35 +0100

I don't know if I have an eating disorder or not, because I'm still eating, just a little less. Mainly it's because all the girls at ballet are all like super skinny. I'm not overweight or underweight, it's just that I want to have their shape, which I can't because my ribs are always sticking out, no matter what. and I don't eat healthy snacks, most of the time, because I don't get my energy from them, I feel like I get an energy from icecream and things like that. The funny things is that I'm not gaining weight any more, which I guess is what I wanted, but I'm not a healthy eater!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Telsanasee — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 16:10:41 +0100

Same problem here. I don't know what to choose because I don't know who I am. Most of the day, I'm switching from very happy, hyper, girl, to a very controlling person, to a very sad, tired, little girl.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Telsanasee — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 16:20:44 +0100

Things I say don't seem to come out the right way either, and a cry for no reason, and laugh too. I think I'm biplar because I feel like complete different people. I don't want people to notice me, because I'm super tall and so they already do. I don't want them to see me as the girl in ballet who always messes up. Writing feels like my only escape. I actually broke down once, and started yelling at my dad because I couldn't explain to him that I don't belong here, and that the only people that would understand would be my characters. My parents don't listen, my brother would make fun of me. My sister doesn't care about anything so she wouldn't understand. And I don't have any super close friends. I don't even have another peice to my heart. I feel like a whiny brat right now, because I don't have any of the actual problems you guys have and yet I think I want to be diagnosed with something, still.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Telsanasee — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 16:25:11 +0100

I feel like I'm growing up too fast. I'm thirteen, but I don't play and waist time and just socalize. I'm obsessed with a future that could not come, and when I'm grounded off of writing, I feel really bad because I can't remember a time when I wan't doing it, because I feel it was always my obsession.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 16:36:50 +0100

Telsanasee~ No one can diagnose you except an actual mental health professional. I know it's hard, but ask for help. Write a letter to your parents telling them what you told us. Stay beautiful~ In other news, I'm sick and I puked out my intestines but my mom is yelling at me to get ready for therapy What.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Telsanasee — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 16:46:43 +0100

but it's so hard to explain anything important to them..

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Telsanasee — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 16:47:11 +0100

oh, and out of curiosity and worry, did you really throw up your intestines?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Telsanasee — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 16:48:51 +0100

And by the way, after reading your book sypnosis and excerpt, I pretty much squealed with delight. I love books and movies like that! I would love to read your book!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 19:34:11 +0100

I know, doe. It took me three years to get through to my parents. But if you want to get better, it's best to start trying. And no, haha, not literally. I have a touch of the flu, is all :3 And why thank you! I'm currently in the process of rewriting it ^-^

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Telsanasee — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 14:23:21 +0100

hey sorry, I was feeling angsty when I wrote everything. Yes, it's true, but if I gave off that I live a horrible life and want to leave, that was not my intention. I love life, and I've never considered suicide or cutting... but I do get these huge mood swings that I'm skipping like a gazelle through a meadow and the next I'm crying my eyes out because I feel like a freak. I'm better now!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

エログロ — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 18:00:35 +0100

Well part of those feelings just come with being human. Society likes to tell people to hide your emotions and pretend to be perfect, which ultimately harms us. But know that you're definitely not alone. I'd suggest going to a guidance counselor, teacher, or psychologist at your school. There may be resources there that can help, or they can help explain your situation to your parents and/or refer you to people who can help you outside. Even if you don't have a mental illness, talking with a therapist or support group can benefit anyone trying to cope with life. But because you're not thinking of or participating in any harmful activities, I will say that you should do this only of you feel comfortable. If not, there are other ways to deal with stress and melancholy. Writing out your feelings like you just did is probably the simpleist. Though if you post them on the Internet, just know that anyone can read them! :3

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 12:23:45 +0100

I'm really worried. I left my folder for my 8th grade project at school, and now I can't finish my detailed outline, and my teacher will be really mad and I'm so upset about this the I tried to kill myself last night. I'm so terrified for school today.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 21:07:55 +0100

I'm so so so sorry.*hugs* Try and just take life one day at a time. Don't think about tomorrow, just get through today. That's all you have to do. And if that teacher is pissed, so what? She has no idea about the hell that you are going through. You need to just focus on you. I know you can get past this. Try and stay strong and beautiful and awesome and amazing and just about every other good adjective.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Shadow_of_Flame — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 22:34:54 +0100

I have to write a short story for English class, it's supposed to be a 'counterhistory' or 'counterstory' to a 'common' story or opinion or whatever. My go-to writing topics (for things that can't be fantasy) are mental illness, and fencing, so I tried to write mine on mental illness. Tried, because now, two typed pages in, I'm stuck. While part of it is that I'm bad at writing short stories, a large part is that, the entire time I've been writing, I've also been thinking, 'Do I really want to tell people this? Do I really want to reveal what I go through near every day, what my brother goes through every minute, what my family goes through due to my brother's severity? It's one thing telling close friends,or people who understand, or just saying, 'he has severe mental illness' or 'I have ADHD and GAD', but this... I don't know. It's adding more stress to the stress of having to write a good story (I won't be satisfied otherwise), the fact that it was technically due yesterday, (when I wasn't in class), and that I'm behind in learning/reviewing for an AP (self-studying). And I don't handle stress well, I get overwhelmed, I avoid... and then it's worse when I go back to it.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:11:48 +0100

Hello, everyone. I'm back. I've actually mostly been hanging out on the Screnzy website. My life has mostly been a huge wreck. It's amazing what can happen in such a short amount of time. A few days ago, I nearly cut; I figured that it was about time to come back. I'm in love with a girl that I logically know is probably straight. I just keep noticing these small things about her that make me think maybe, just maybe, she likes me. It's killing me. One of my sheep died. It was really depressing for me. Our sheep are like dogs. They follow me everywhere. They come when their called by name. And I raised Lilly since she was a baby. She died of such a stupid thing. One of her udders got infected by one of her lambs biting her. *throws things* The worst part is that I have to be a shoulder to lean on for one of my used-to-be best friends. She has all of these stupid guy problems that she wants me to listen to. And she knows that I have no experience with guys and probably never will. I keep trying to remind her that it puts me in a really uncomfortable position. Exactly the same uncomfortable position that she would be in if I tried to talk to her about the problems I'm having with my "crush". (I hate that word.) I've faked being sick for two days now. I don't know if my mom will keep buying into it. I'm mostly just drained, guys. I want to lie down and sleep forever. I don't want to deal with people anymore.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 00:08:28 +0100

I'm so sorry about your sheep, beautiful. I love sheep, because I've had a lamb stuffed animal since I was little. I'm going through a similar thing right now. I just don't feel like being awake. I just sleep. I fell asleep for two hours this afternoon. too tired and upset to do anything else.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

DaniLynn — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 01:27:13 +0100

Yeah. I don't know if I'm coming down with something or what, but I crashed at six last night and slept until about eleven.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 00:43:51 +0100

Guys I relapsed. Tomorrow was supposed to be three months and I ruined it... Ruined everything... What will I tell my two friends who know? What will I tell my therapist? Must I tell her? Will I ever lose this desperate urge to hurt myself?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

kittygirl27 — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 19:00:16 +0100

Hey guys! Wow..... I missed a lot during my hiatus period, didn't I? (I guess it wouldn't seem so apparent on a forum that I almost never post on, but still. I haven't been on the NaNo site in a little over a month.) First off, to everyone else (*is in a cheesy mood*) stay strong. You are beautiful, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Any time you feel down and feel like ending it all, just remember that life is worth living, and people really do love you. Which is weird... I'm being kind of a hypocrite right now, because I've been really down lately. I've been thinking of self-harm a lot recently, and quite literally the only thing that's kept me going is "myself" (if people have forgotten, seeing how I don't post a lot, I've got similar to a minor case of MPD. There's 8 of "us" including myself). Anyway, I've been dealing with my depression, kind of, and I haven't started cutting, so A calls it successful (A is one of "us", who's essentially a big brother to me). Anyway, today I turned 16. I started out pretty happy, but it's really hard to escape my depression. I hate it, but I'm quite honestly terrified of psychologists/psychiatrists (which one's the correct term? I always forget...) and I'm even more scared to tell my parents that I probably need one. I'm just so used to bottling everything up... I'm nearly ready to explode. I just don't care anymore. My grades have been slipping, but my parents just attribute it to the fact that I haven't been sleeping lately. Why haven't I been sleeping, you ask? There's plenty of reasons, actually.... one is that I've been having really violent and/or nightmares every single night for the past year or so. I die in each and every one of them, and I've killed myself in more than a few. A's just taken to suppressing all memories of my dreams so that I don't "snap from the sheer insanity of them". The other reason is that it's my own form of self-mutilation. I can't stand blood, so I don't think I'll ever turn to cutting... I hope... but there's plenty of other ways to self-mutilate. I bite my fingernails until they bleed, I pull my hair out, I do plenty of things that people just attribute to being one of "my nervous habits". I'm not even sure what I'm holding on to anymore... or even why I care enough to hold on. I just want to sleep and never wake up, just so that I don't have to deal with anything. I need help, but I'm afraid to get it for myself. If anything.... I'm scared of what I've become. Not because of my multiplicity, but because of my apathy towards everything.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 21:27:02 +0100

You're holding on to hope right now. You're hoping that things will get better. And they will. I've dealt with horrifying nightmares with images that I just can't get out of my head and make me afraid to go to sleep. I promise you, they will stop. Your life will gt better. And as for the self harm, just try and tell yourself that you can make it through this. Take deep breaths. It's not worth the temporary relief, I promise.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

EmmaMayfield — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 04:48:19 +0100

My parents think they can magically solve all my problems by forcing me into either private school or a co-op. My mom thinks I need a councilor. By the way, I'm not doing so good on the do not bite thing - but I can't help it! I'm so frustrated sometimes - I don't want to throw things and hurt someone, but ugh! Ugh! My parents need to know that I'm fine with what I have - choir and Taekwondo. I don't need or want anything else. It's worse in a place like a two-day a week school than at home. I don't want to deal with it all again. I just got rid of the ... That messed me up in the first place - Im recovering from it little by little. I wanted to ask my mom how to talk to people, specifically one person - and she assumed I was burying myself in a low self esteem act again. I love her, but I want to talk to her without her immediately assuming where I'm going with what I'm saying. /:

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 04:49:04 +0100

Therapy in eleven hours, thirteen minutes. I have to tell her I cut. I have to tell her about my hallucinations. I have to tell her I'm not nearly as well as my parents think. I am terrified.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

EmmaMayfield — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 05:05:24 +0100

It's okay, be honest, be strong. No one is perfect. Surely your therapist will understand that. *hugs*

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

CountryGirl13 — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 16:57:18 +0100

Stay strong, alright? I know it's hard. I know how awful therapists are to go to. But they'll only help. You can do this, if you just fight it. I'll be prayingthat everythin goes well. You have my support ;)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Telsanasee — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 04:30:41 +0100

stay strong, be honest. Oh, come on, what am I saying? I just prayed for you, and I know I'm a bit late to say this but the therapist is there to help you, just be honest, talk like she's someone you always talk to, like a super super close friend or a character. Stay awesome, and we're all here for you.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Telsanasee — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 05:08:02 +0100

I don't cut, and I haven't been diagnosed with anything either. But I get really stressed about the stupidest things. To the point that I'm crying in the bathroom asking myself what's wrong with me. Right, so I'm thankful I don't do that everyday, it was just, I went to a party full of imature 11 yearold boys. With a bb gun pointed at my brother. Well of course I freaked, because I know how bad a bb gun can be. So I was, you know, screaming at him, and everyone was like "it's not even loaded, chill!" And then the kid had to point at me, and that was when I snapped. I walked over to him and took the gun away, telling him to keep off it while we were there. I hate the way my heartrate totally sped up and the butterflies went wild in my belly. So I later asked my bro and sis if I seemed crazy and they said yes all serious like. So I went to the bathroom and cried for like five minuites, at the party. No one noticed. Which I'm glad of, it's just Gaaaaah!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 20:45:13 +0100

My head hurts. Bad. Hoping all the meds I just took will not make me have the desire to be completely numb forever. Also, the tension with K is building. Soon we're going to snap. I just wish that we could just get this fight over with. And finally on my rant for today, J is so effing clueless. He has no idea how much I like him. Heck, Im pretty sure that he's still convinced that I hate him. I don't blame him, because I've never been very nice to him. He would make some comment that wasn't normally that bad, and I would say something just to piss him off. I don't blame him for how he reacted. I just want him to know as more than the crazy bitch who hates him for no reason. Oh, and I can't really avoid him, because our lockers are right next to each other and we have the same home room. Stay strong, stay beautiful, and keep on hoping for all of you guys who are struggling.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Labyrinth Rose — Tue, 01 May 2012 23:30:14 +0100

You guys are all so sweet :3 So therapy on Saturday was alright. My mom had to stay in for like twenty minutes because she thinks my worst problem is nobody likes me. Lulz. She calmed me down a lot about my screwing up. Those three months haven't been erased. They weren't for nothing. Now this time, I'll do even better. Relapse is a part of recovery, right? I didn't have time to discuss hallucinations. Next time, I hope to have the guts to bring it up. Stay strong, my loves<3

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

CountryGirl13 — Tue, 01 May 2012 23:47:11 +0100

I'm sooo glad everything went okay :) I'll keep praying for you. You can fight this!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Wed, 02 May 2012 21:02:45 +0100

Remember that she's trained to deal with this kind of stuff. Hallucinations are probably no big deal to her. You are so brave and awesome for doing this and she will recognize that. And as always to anyone that might need it, stay strong and stay beautiful because you can overcome this.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

chibi_bunni — Sat, 05 May 2012 13:23:44 +0100

ADHD, predominantly inattentive type :c. Oh well :3

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Sun, 06 May 2012 01:10:18 +0100

Welcome bunni! I'm sure that you'll love it here!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Randumbz — Sun, 06 May 2012 21:54:51 +0100

I have social anxiety disorder (i diagnosed myself lol) and i'm narssisistic. Does that count?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

エログロ — Sun, 06 May 2012 22:05:00 +0100

I hate how they have that "H" in the official acronym to mock me. I have many gripes with the DSM (I'm a casual psych nerd, haha), and the ADHD diagnoses are prominently included. Like. It's just a blatant contradiction, what were they thinking? ADD worked just fine, methinks... (Though my meds make me hyperactive communication-wise and unable to shut up, seen in cases such as now. But actually getting off my butt? Nope.)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

エログロ — Sun, 06 May 2012 22:19:58 +0100

Have you tried speaking to a guidance counselor, school psychologist, or any other trusted adult about it? Mental illness is just as serious as physical illness. When you get the sniffles, you don't declare yourself as having pneumonia, and you shouldn't do the same with distressing mental symptoms! A cold is a cold, and so is a little anxiety or melancholy, but even colloquially used terms such as "social anxiety" actually have a serious diagnosis and implications attached to them. Yes, it's very possible to pick out symptoms that are disrupting your life, but it's very hard to try to make sense of them and get treatment without outside evaluation from someone medically trained. Sometimes from multiple someones, if it's dangerously serious or if you want to try medication. Not to mention the idea of someone living with untreated disorders is a very sad, and very dangerous thing. You're a young person, and letting issues go along without trying to solve them can be problematic in the future. So I'd REALLY suggest speaking with someone, and trying to get some counseling, if it's really that bad? A guidance counselor or a school psychologist is probably the best place to start, if you're uncomfortable talking with your parents about it. These sort of issues aren't uncommon, and they are trained to deal with and help you!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

cutiepa2te — Mon, 07 May 2012 05:49:52 +0100

Bipolar. As bad as it gets sometimes, it's uber-fun at times -- which is why is manic and not major depression, I guess.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Randumbz — Mon, 07 May 2012 07:00:50 +0100

It's ok, I can fix this

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Telsanasee — Wed, 09 May 2012 03:32:15 +0100

I'm crying right now. I cry for the stupidness of reasons, honestly, it's just so dumb. I've got social problems, in virtually and in reality... and I suck.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

EmmaMayfield — Wed, 09 May 2012 04:35:16 +0100

Telsa, don't be so upset with yourself. *huggles* I have extreme social probls IRL. Probably because I'm afraid of people in general now. Things happen, we mess up, it's life. But you can message me, okay Telsa?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Wed, 09 May 2012 21:10:29 +0100

I'm scared. I'm scared as hell. I cut last night for the first time in 3 months, and dare I say it, it helped me keep my sanity today. I would be a mess if I didn't cut last night. I'm afraid that I'm going to start resorting to this. I don't want that. My best friend is becoming like a big sister, as she's 16 and I'm 14. And I need that sister figure right now. Yesterday I revealed to her that I've had some self image issues. And that's a big step for me. Half the reason that I can trust her is that I think that she's gone through some of this too, since she's alluded to cutting or suicide attempts. I'm still scared. I'm scared that the guy I like might be catching on, I'm scared of people finding out about me, I'm scared of being hurt. And to think that my friends say I'm the bravest person that they know.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Alias Cyborg — Sun, 13 May 2012 05:57:18 +0100

[quote=Rensy] There's this insane, crazy, loud person trapped by a shy, frightened girl. [/quote] You capture me exactly. I haven't been diagnosed with anything, but... that's me.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Alias Cyborg — Sun, 13 May 2012 20:33:48 +0100

I know you posted this seven months ago... but whatever. I had amblyopia when I was five... but they fixed it mostly so my left eye's 20/20 and my right eye's 20/35 whereas the right eye was once worse than 20/200, I was definitely legally blind in my right eye. (Doctor asked me to read the big E on the eye chart, apparently I said "What eye chart?" This with my right eye.)

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Sun, 13 May 2012 21:27:21 +0100

I had such a nervous breakdown last night. I don't know why, but it as triggered when the WiFi went out. I curled up on the ground and screamed and sobbed for an hour, until my mo gave me a clonazepam. And then I kept screaming after my sister went upstairs. I didn't eat more than a bite of my dinner. And after my mom came down, I just kept sobbing and I talked to her about everything. I tried to kill myself. I tried to jump out of the attic window. My mom didn't let me, and then I talked to her about something I'd tried explaining before. I really think I need treatment. I have a therapist, and I see her once a week, but it isn't helping. And for the first time- she actually understood what I was saying. Maybe it was her having to keep me from killing myself that helped her realize that I need more help.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Chestergirl28 — Sun, 13 May 2012 21:29:48 +0100

Tree, I went through the same sort of thing. I'm still afraid. Only two people (outside of my family) actually know. It helps to have a few people who know- I'm glad you told your best friend. Next year, my best friend and I will be the exact same ages as you two, and I bet we're as close too. It really helps. Doesn't make it all better (as you can see from my post), but it does help.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Alias Cyborg — Mon, 14 May 2012 04:16:03 +0100

I may have posted here before. I may not have, and I can't really remember because if I did introduce myself here before, it was about six months ago. Anyways. I'm Gracie (Not my real name, but my screen name) and I'm diagnosed with ADHD and I'm not diagnosed with anything else but I suspect that I have some form of Social Anxiety Disorder. I want to see the psychiatrist I had before who helped me with the ADHD and some anger issues and some friendship issues but I'm too. Freaking. Scared. To even bring up the subject with my parents, and being the lovely young age of thirteen I can hardly go and see her myself. Anyway, I'll be joining you here.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Mon, 14 May 2012 12:05:51 +0100

Yay! New people! Or person, technically. But I'm still happy that you're here!

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Mon, 14 May 2012 12:06:16 +0100

I'm Abby, by the way.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Mon, 14 May 2012 12:10:23 +0100

You are so brave and awesome for trying to get treatment. And also, you need to remember that we will miss you if you kill yourself. You are worth something to us. I've been dealing with some faintly suicidal thoughts lately, but I just try and think a out all the people who would miss me.

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

kittygirl27 — Sun, 20 May 2012 15:38:13 +0100

Oh, hey guys... *face-palm* I need to remember that this thread exists. Anyway, hi. Stay strong, please, and be yourself, and you are wonderful and beautiful just the way you are (or something like that). Depression sucks; hidden multiplicity isn't helping it. I think I might be bipolar- I'll be in a good mood, and then something really little will tick me off and I'll be irritated and upset until something else triggers happiness. Is that bipolar, or just mood swings? These past three weeks have really sucked for me, and it doesn't help that I'm not really able to get more than 30 or so hours of sleep a week (that's roughly 4 hours per night). I hate not being able to sleep, but it's better than the nightmares that I have when I am sleeping. It's probably a good thing that A suppresses the memories of my dreams, else I might have snapped already. If nothing else, I'm gradually beginning to be scared of myself. Today, now, I'm home alone because the rest of my family is hanging out with my out-of-town family who I won't see for another 3 years minimum unless someone in the family dies. I'm home alone, supposed to be getting ready for my concert later today, but the second my mom left the house my first thought wasn't 'oh, cool, I'm alone' or something normal like that, it was 'You know, this would be a perfect time to start [cutting]. No one's home, and they're not coming back for a few hours or until I call them, so I could just bleed out right here, right now, and no one would even know.' And then, after everyone [being everyone else in my head] started freaking out and convincing me not to, I had a nervous breakdown. I haven't had one of those in months. Oh, also, for the new people, I'm Kitty. I'm so lost right now. Help?

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

TreefrogWarrior — Sun, 20 May 2012 21:31:08 +0100

First and foremost, *hugs* Remember that if you are gone, we will miss you. It's scary for me to think that I might never hear from some of you guys again, but it's even scarier to think that I've had thoughts that made me consider things. Second, you need sleep. I used to be the same way, but then I started being getting a bit more rest and things got better. Third, you need to find an activity that can take the place of cutting. Mine was music. Also, it helps to just tell yourself that you can overcome this. Another way to help combat cutting is using laziness to your advantage. I found that it was easier for me to resist if there were no blades/knives/other sharp or potentially hazardous objects around. If they weren't right there, then I could tell myself no. Lastly, just stay strong, stay beautiful, and remember that you have a place in this world, and not buried six feet under. That goes for everybody on here, whether you are currently struggling or not. Love, Abby

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Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the *insanity* [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]

Re: We've got the insanity [Teen WriMos with Mental Illnesses]