So Lost! (boy troubles, help, please!!!!)

Zaramora_Gladen — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 13:05:35 -0600

Hey, guys. I'm in a serious pickle right now!!! So, I have a boyfriend, right? He and I have been together for 22 Months (yesterday!!!!!) I love him dearly, and when I tell him that, I mean it. When I say it, I mean it. I have not fallen out of love with him and I still want to be with him for forever and ever and ever! But this year I have this NEW friend. He IS a boy, and he is very handsome (although he doesn't think so ^^') HE likes ME (for some reasons I have yet to understand) and it really hurts him. I feel AWFUL about it because I am the problem and we're always hanging out. I want HIM to be happy, and I feel awful because sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be with him. I don't want to, thinking about leaving my darling makes me cry, but I want them both to be happy. I'm not going to leave my love, for I love him more than anything else, But last night I had this weird dream. I was at my friend's house (the boy) and him, someone else, and me, were hanging out it his bedroom. I was in his bed all curled up in the blankets (ALONE) and happy, laughing, and he starts teasing me to get out. I cry back with a "NOOOOO" and he jumps on the bed, starts to tickle me, and then kisses my face and my lips a few times to add to it. I THINK that I was still with my dearest in this dream, but I don't know, because it felt like all of the times when my love DID kiss me. I mean, the heart flying, face almost red (I'm rather dark skinned), super happy, etc. Now I don't know what to think. I feel absolutely lurid for dreaming that dream, and wish this wasn't all so confusing. So, what should I do? What does my dream even mean?

Re: So Lost!

Sarcastic_R_Us — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 13:20:16 -0600

If your new friend can't respect the fact that you're already in a relationship, then he's not your friend and you need to either smack some sense into him or tell him to leave you alone. He is not your boyfriend and it is not your responsibility to make sure he's happy, especially since it appears he will only be happy if he's with you. It's terribly selfish of him to assume that you would do anything other than stay with your boyfriend who has been around far longer than him. If you love your boyfriend more than anything else, then don't leave him. Simple as that. There's no need to overthink or overcomplicate the matter. Dreams are your subconscious dwelling on present problems or main focuses in your life. All that dream says is that you're constantly thinking about this, that it's a problem to you.

Re: So Lost! (boy troubles, help, please!!!!)

Zaramora_Gladen — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 18:30:18 -0600

Oh, dear, he wouldn't do anything rash, or to break boyfriend and I up!! I know it isn't my responsibility or anything, but I AM his friend. And what are friends for in the first place. He's never happy, with anything, honestly. I really shouldn't. Oh, that does make sense.

Re: So Lost! (boy troubles, help, please!!!!)

broadwaybound1000 — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 18:32:20 -0600

Don't worry about the dream! You can't control it! Stay with your BF!

Re: So Lost! (boy troubles, help, please!!!!)

Sarcastic_R_Us — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 20:11:01 -0600

[quote=Zaramora_Gladen] Oh, dear, he wouldn't do anything rash, or to break boyfriend and I up!! I know it isn't my responsibility or anything, but I AM his friend. And what are friends for in the first place. He's never happy, with anything, honestly.[/quote] I didn't think he would do anything rash. But sitting around moaning and making sad faces at the fact that you aren't with HIM is annoying and disrespectful. Also, "what are friends for in the first place?" This sentence baffles me, to tell you the truth. What in heaven do you mean by "what are friends for"? Yes, you are supposed to be nice to your friends and try and make them happy. This does not include guilting yourself about dating someone else or allowing the sad person to do it either. [quote]I really shouldn't.[/quote] You definitely shouldn't.

Re: So Lost! (boy troubles, help, please!!!!)

Chestergirl28 — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 20:51:10 -0600

My dear, take it from the girl who has been in your friend's position (one guy in my friend group, multiple girls, you know what I'm saying?). Let it be.

Re: So Lost! (boy troubles, help, please!!!!)

EmmaMayfield — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 23:33:55 -0600

Don't believe the dream. Stay with your guy.

Re: So Lost! (boy troubles, help, please!!!!)

Hunger Ludinivalis — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 17:22:30 -0600

You're not going to be able to make everyone happy; simple fact of life. You either make your current boyfriend happy, or you make this friend of yours happy. If the only way that your friend will be happy is by dating you, then he won't be happy. But he'll move on; he's got plenty of life ahead of him. Trust me, I know. And don't trust dreams. I've had multiple dreams in which I kiss my crush. It's just because you've been dwelling on this so much. Hope everything works out in the end :)

Re: So Lost! (boy troubles, help, please!!!!)

Caroline11278 — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 19:24:44 -0600

This 'friend' of yours, well, when I read your description on him, I got this queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Stay with who makes you happy.

Re: So Lost! (boy troubles, help, please!!!!)

Coffee_Plate — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 20:36:57 -0600

You are not the problem. Seriously. The fact that you exist and this other person happens to like you is beyond your control. Even moreso since you're already dating someone. People can't control who they are attracted to, but that does not mean they can't control the situation. If anything, all of this is on your friend. If he decides that he can't handle you being in a relationship with someone else, forget him and his happiness (in that aspect). It's his project and he needs to own up to his feelings. If he has enough emotional maturity, he'll manage. If not, accept it and move on with your life. You wouldn't be able to make him happy, even if you do start to date him. Why? Because you'll be unhappy and that's not a great basis for a healthy relationship. And with regards to the dream thing...if dreams foretold the future, I'd probably be in prison right now with triplets. I have no desire to go to prison (or have any kids for that matter). Having certain dreams doesn't make you a bad person. To act out your dream, well, that's another matter.

Re: So Lost! (boy troubles, help, please!!!!)

Angryman — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 04:27:04 -0600

Look at it this way: if things with your boyfriend don't work out, you know you've got another option. IF it comes down to that. In the meantime, feel bad for your friend, but don't change things if they are working for you. Now, on the subject of dreams, if every dream was a sign of things to come, then by now I should have a few superpowers and a rifle that can't decide if it's a .22 semi-auto or a bolt-action cannon. Dreams might show some insight of what is on the mind, but ultimately, it's just general mayhem.

Re: So Lost! (boy troubles, help, please!!!!)

Zaramora_Gladen — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 21:10:28 -0600

Thank you guys! It does help a lot. AAHHH, I should stop looking so hard into things.