My first date ever (And I'm terrified)

Okay, so I'm going on my very first date ever on Monday afternoon. And I'm so. Freaking. Scared. I've liked the guy for well over a year and things are finally starting to move. I don't know what we're doing, probably meeting for lunch or dinner. He's just as nervous as I am.

My biggest fear is that scary silence when no one knows what to say and it's just completely awkward and ohmygosh what have I gotten myself into?!

HELP. TIPS. HELP.

First of, congratulations! ^_^

If you're worried about awkward silences, ask him about himself. He's a guy, so I'm sure he'll ramble on and on about things you don't care about, but it keeps the conversation going! ;) The same goes for us girls. Most of the things we ramble, the opposite gender does not really care about. See? I'm rambling now.

Have you known this guy for long? Do you know about what he likes, dislikes? If you do, mentioning some of his favorite things to do or see may move the conversation along more. If you don't know what he likes to talk about, find out! This will hopefully in turn encourage him to try and find out more about you, too, so he's not doing all of the talking.

Also, remember to be yourself! Please, please, don't change anything about yourself to suit what he wants. It is very important in a relationship to be yourself from the start. If he doesn't like you for you and you keep changing yourself, you will not being happy being in a relationship with him.

I don't know if I've helped or not, but hopefully I've eased some of your fright. Just be sure to have fun! Keep the conversations lighthearted, joke around, you know. Try not to worry too much. I'm sure you'll be fine, and have a great time. (:

Evangaline656 is right. The only I'm going to add is relax. If you are too tense, then you won't be able to enjoy it.

Other than that, have fun.

Thanks, you two. I've known him for almost two years now and we've worked together on the school paper for a while, but it's such a different situation than that! It used to be easy to talk to him... before we knew we liked one another. Now he just kind of clams up. He cancelled /two/ dates last weekend because he chickened out. He actually asked his best friend to come with him. -_- More opinions! I need more reassurance!

My rule for my future relationships is to be friends with a guy before I start dating him. Try not to make it feel like a date right at first. Think of it as just 2 friends hanging out. I've never actually been on a date, but that's my opinion. I'm sure you guys will have an amazing time, and remember: Don't worry! Worrying can't add days to your life, and sometimes it makes you miss the best ones you have. If you are worrying about if your doing this or that right during the whole date, you are most likely going to miss out on the great time you guys are gonna have. So just relax, you don't want any grey hair by monday either:)
And this was said before but I willl say it again. BE YOURSELF! If he doesn't like you for you than (sorry) he's not worth it. You can't live a lie forever. If you change yourself so he'll like you eventually the truth will come out. It's unavoidable. Better to show him who you really are now rather than later. If he really cares about you he will like you for you!

JUST PANIC.

Just kidding. ;)

Matthew, dearest, you aren't being very helpful. xD

I understand where you're at now, Csjs. It can be awkward at first when confessing feelings for one another and stuff, but try your best to look past that. I can't tell your friend what to do, but Lily was right. Just act the same as you did before. Don't think of it as a date, just two kids hanging out.

Don't let his friend go with you guys. If that happens, someone is going to end up feeling awkward and out of place, whether that is his friend or you.

I don't really know what else to say but enjoy yourself! Remember to have fun. You don't have to be all serious on a first date. Right now you two are just testing the waters and seeing how the other fits in a possible future relationship. So take it easy, talk normally, and don't worry too much. (:

Good luck tomorrow!

Thanks guys. And it's TOMORROW. Oh my gosh alkjdfeirtjlkdfgjnmdfklgjireltjkdgf. I plan on opening with "So how was your weekend" and if nothing comes from that I'll just cry and fall on the floor instead.

And yeah, definitely not letting his friend come. That would be the most awkward thing /ever/.

I'm sure you'll be fine. Let us know how much fun you have. Or not, your choice.

This is written form a male’s perspective.

Everyone on here has it right—don’t change who you are, although why anyone would do that is beyond me. If someone asked you out on a date, they like you, so why would you even bother to change?

Besides that though, you should know that the boy is probably just as nervous as you are. My current relationship, if it can even be called as such, for I do not know what we are calling it at this moment, is very similar to yours. However, we always plan at the last minute, and we only ended up going on a date because our mutual friend’s plans fell through. So I asked her out anyways, and we just treated it as a normal hang out. That is, in my opinion, the easiest way to prevent it from becoming awkward. If you treat it as something normal, then it will feel natural, and neither of you will have to worry about anything.

Something else useful: if he can’t talk, find something to talk about, be it strange or boring, like the weather. If that prevents awkwardness then it is good. However, be warned that maybe he is enjoying the silence, because that is what happens to me. Remain in activities, be it conversation or whatever you go to do, even if it is to eat.

If you treat everything normally, or as close to normal as it can be, everything should work out fine. Just try to have fun; that is the most important thing. And be sure that it does not become too awkward between you guys—that would be unfortunate, as he is your friend.

I am sorry if this does not seem too helpful, but I just wrote what I know… well, I have some other thoughts, but me and my relationship are quite different than normal—mainly in that we told each other our feeling’s the day after!—so I do not know how much my experience would help you with your predicament.

I wish you luck!

~hoblaph

It is done....

And it went fantastically. It was a little awkward at first, but things got going pretty quickly. We went to the book store for smoothies and then browsed books for like an hour. And both agreed that we'd like to do it again. :) Thanks for your help!!! I would've been a blubbering mess without it.

Yay!!!! Congrats!! I'm so happy for you!

Double yay!!!

You went to a bookstore.

Good freaking job. :D Haha, I'm glad it went well!

I'm so happy for you!!!!!!!!

P.S. going to a bookstore sounds like my ideal first date :)

Bookstore AND smoothies? That's AWESOME!

I'm so glad it went well!

And I would've contributed my own advice earlier, if I had any... but seeing as I've never been on a date before, I figured probably better just read the advice and file it away for future first-date panic attacks.

Well, congratulations that the date went so well! I couldn't really offer anything seeing as I've never been on a date before, but thank you to everyone who posted advice seeing as I too am scared out of my mind for our first date (which isn't even for a while...).

Bookstores and smoothies sounds like it was fun! Mazal Tov! (Wait... um... that's Jew-speak for congratulations *face-palm*)

Thanks, all. :) I recently found out that one of my best friends suggested the bookstore idea to him, which was great. Anyone who is facing a similar situation should try it. After the conversation slowed down, we started looking at the books and comparing ones we've read and stuff, which opened up all kinds of topics. Perfect date for a wrimo!