Things non-writers don't seem to understand about writers/writing

That I'm not insane for thinking a 1.5k research paper due in three months is "easy as pie".

I also really agree with the person who mentioned your writing being an abject representation. Being an avid fanfic writer, this happens to me pretty often whenever someone IRL finds out I write for several slash pairings.
"Can I read your stuff?"
"Umm... you probably won't like it. A lot of it's LGBT."
"Oh, I didn't realize you were gay."
"*headdesk*"

Also, that I can't be a writer unless I'm trying to get published and do it professionally. Which, yes, would be awesome. But that is so not why I do it.

This.

My mom gets worried when I spend so much time developing my characters. She thinks I obsess over them, and that it isn't healthy. *facepalm* She thinks that they're me, even though I've told her countless times that they *aren't* and only have small parts of my personality--and those are all unintentional, dangit!

Also, I don't think that people realize that just because a lot of my work is dark and twisty...doesn't mean I am. It's not *my* fault my MC is kind of an apathetic pile of slop that basically just sits in the Emo Corner for the first 200 pages or so. I've been trying to talk her out of it, make her less cliche and annoying, but she just won't listen...

*cries*

I'm actually terrified of showing anyone else my work because of this. One of my main characters is a manipulative b**** but that's her, not me. Another one of my characters is a compulsive liar, but I'm really quite honest. And another one is suicidal while I'm quite cheerful most of the time.

My younger brother used to write some pretty dark poetry (I don't think he still does) and one of his teachers found it and there was a whole big mess with our parents and I think the school councilor to find out if he was suicidal and depressed. He wasn't.

This happens to me too. Usually with a time limit: "by tonight" or "by tomorrow evening".

If we were entertainment for hire, people wouldn't be shocked when we say "Sure, I can write that for you, but it will cost you."

I have actually found a perfectly acceptable cure for the 'could-you-write-this?" syndrome. My sister asked me to write her wedding sermon, and I did. I did something very similar to a cartoon my daughter had been watching nearly non-stop for the last month. The type that pretty much is a honey-do list. They have told everyone they knew about it, up to and including posting a short video of the vows and such on the web.

Have fun with a project, use a little sarcasm, and no one will ever ask you again.

I hate that. I've been writing a lot at work, during down time, to help reach my word counts (still failing, though xD). And I get a lot of people that come over and be nosy, all leaning over my shoulder like, "heeeeey, what cha doing?" followed by "what are you writing?" followed by "can I read it?" as they tried to read it over my shoulder. B**ch, please. You don't know me like that, back the fck up. I mean, hello, personal bubble, anyone? Because of this, I've resorted to using a coded alphabet from when I was younger and back in school. They all think I'm crazy(er than they thought before), but at least they're not trying to read it over my shoulder anymore. People don't seem to realize that asking to see our unfinished, unedited, fresh from our veins, straight from the womb writing is like asking to see us naked, in public. In fact, I think I would more likely do the latter. Dancing. Possibly on TV.
The other pet peeve I have about non-writers is the "why do you write so much/all the time?" thing. I get that a lot at work. Just because I have a job, doesn't mean I'm not an aspiring writer. You don't have to be homeless and starving to be an artist. I mean, you don't ask a painter why he paints so much.

I'm horrified to hear that people are rude enough to ask this sort of thing. Sheesh, if you were a bus driver, would they say "hey, will you drive me around town for free tomorrow?'

This.

My sister found a stack of my poems, and then asked me to write a song for her band. I don't write for other people, I don't write requests. Its MY personal thing and people need to stop being so damn nosy. (Spesh as my poems are a way for me to deal with crap - funny how they all want to read my poems and rave about them, yet when I want to TALK, oh no, not interested -) Ugh!
Also, TELLING COMPLETE STRANGERS ABOUT MY WORK! Err no. My story i share little bits here and there with people I chose to share with. Not someone YOU work with. Ass.

Anyway. Sorry Rant over,

As much I hate to say this, my sister doesn't understand one thing about writing. She gets poor grades in English and her stories are the absolute basics.

She's a great artist, but when it comes to words she sort of fails...

violetgateway wrote:
As for the writing something for someone, I'm okay with that most of the time if it's for a friend, but one person has crossed the line. She asked me to write a story about her and her crush together. I can't do that, no way in hell. It was quite creepy of her to ask that of me to be honest.

Oh my God, that kind of reminds me of someone I knew in highschool. She didn't go to the same school as me, but I'd sometimes invite her to events like school plays and such. She liked to pair up the people at my school, like how one might pair up their favorite characters in a fanfic. She didn't seem to understand how it was kind of disturbing for me to watch her make up her mini-fanfics about my classmates. I can't imagine how I would have felt if she'd actually asked me to write it out for her.

Totally understand the faces thing, I do the same when I'm drawing, haha.

I talk to myself all the time, writing or not, lol. I'm used to the "crazy faces" people give me, though I still notice them, it mostly just makes me laugh now.

I have done that. I will have dialogues with my characters, ones that I don't write down. Generally I am attempting to argue the character into doing what I want it to, and far too frequently I am losing the argument.

My sister actually keeps a pillow she throws at me when I am doing NaNoWriMo while out with her. (At home she doesn't bother finding a pillow, she just hits me on the back of the head.)

As for the "crazy" look, it doesn't bother me. I already know I am crazy and revel in the fact. Who'd want to be sane? They don't attempt NaNoWriMo!

So. Much. Truth! It's not so much with writing anymore, but I'm a musician and my parents acted really surprised that I'm getting paid to sing a wedding. And they're the same way! They think that music and the other arts should be hobbies, not something you study at school and try to incorporate into making a living. I also hate the sing something for me RIGHT NOW. You wouldn't ask an architect to draft a building RIGHT NOW, so you can't expect a musician/artist/writer/etc. to perform/draw/write/etc. something on a moment's notice.

And, as far as writing goes, my parent's never seemed to grasp the concept that it's NOT OKAY to read my work without permission. When I was younger, my mom found poems and stuff I'd scribbled down in my homework planner and read them. I got really made at her, and she insisted it was fair game because it was in a book labeled "homework". Well, if she'd had HALF A BRAIN it would have become very clear after the first line that it WASN'T homework, so she should have put it down. Several years later, she found a folder I kept a few songs I'd written in and instead of having the decency to just give it back to me she read them and started SHOWING THEM TO OTHER PEOPLE. At one point she made me so paranoid that I learned the runic alphabet and anything I wrote by hand was written in runes so that people could sit and stare at the page all they want and never be able to read it.

It's not as much of an issue anymore now that I'm in college, but I'm still pretty careful not to leave anything where they might find it and I literally have a fight or flight reaction whenever my parents come over when I'm on the computer and I close the window immediately. Doubly so if I'm writing something. My dad gets a good laugh of watching the sheer panic when he comes charging over to my computer in an attempt to get there before I have a chance to minimize everything. -.-

TheGildedFox wrote:
Also, as a full time musician/artist/writer, I find it alarming how people expect me to do my job for NO MONEY on a regular basis. "Hey, can you play at my sister's wedding?" "Hey, can you design a logo for our club" blah blah blah. You probably wouldn't ask an accountant to do your taxes for you for free...especially if you knew they were hurting for cash, so why its okay to ask an artist to work for free...I don't know.

This extends to my seething hatred for creative internships that amount to slavery. No, you should not be able to take advantage of an eighteen year old kid to make him prove he's 'hungry enough,' you vultures.

While it's sad that you lost a friend. I think you may want to ask yourself how good of a friend was she if you didn't give her a chance to explain. Please don't take offense to this. I read something recently that made me look at this differently. If you care about the other person, than within any relationship, they have the right to say "No" to anything. Yes it can hurt, if we make it about us. However, please remember it as about you giving a friend the space she needed and realize it wasn't about you.
Consider changing the memory to "When a friend had the boldness to tell me what she needed and I gave it to her"
You seem like you have moved on and gained understanding. kudos for you, for this would have been hard for me too. I had a similar experience and it took years to get "me" out of the situation and forgive them. After that I can think of them and have good memories. I wish you the same.
Thanks for sharing your life. :)

ARGH, yes!

This. Totally.

This, definitely. Especially when the characters boss you around—this one time, my friend said the phrase "epically amazing" and her character overheard it, then refused to do anything until she was allowed to say "epically amazing" in the novel.

Also this!

We're writers, this is a perfectly normal thing. Just because society has this negative idea about seeing people other people can't see doesn't make me a total loony.

Tatsuya wrote:
That it is possible to hear voices and still be sane.

This, 100% and underlined.

I agree with this, so much

This! Definitely this.

This. If anything, it helps.

Oh God, this! This so much!

This totally happens to me! I go on talking aout how I'm only "looking in on" my characters, and I really have no say in what the characters do. They either look at me funny, or look at me confused.

Yeah, I've gotten strange looks anytime I talk about my characters doing something I didn't intend or want them too. I get a lot of "Just rewrite it than" and they don't quite understand it doesn't always (if ever) work like that.

Oh god, yes. This. And I hate the "Well, just rewrite it and don't make them do that" thing that Esibby mentioned. Because when you're that connected to your characters and one of them decides to do something you don't like, that's just too bad. It's the only thing that character would have done. And if you try to go back and rewrite it, you can, but then everything that happens after that feels wrong and forced. And nobody gets that.

Oh gosh yeah! You just can't explain "He hasn't told me yet."

Yeah! People don't understand that the characters sometimes just run off without you.. if that makes sense.

Agreed! Even my brother (a fellow NaNoWriMo-er) doesn't get this!

I relate to this so much! I convinced my housemate to do NaNo but when I say how I didn't plan for some of the things to happen, they just did because the characters wanted it that way, she looked as me as though I had sprouted an arm in the middle of my forehead.

This! Nearly the entire way through my 2010 novel I had no idea who was the traitor. I found out right at the end, and when my mum read it, she said it was a good twist, and when I responded with "You're telling me - I didn't know it was them at all!" she just gave me with really weird look and went "But you WROTE it. How could you not know who the traitor was?" Because he was hiding well, that's why! Though, when I read the book back, there were little hints of it throughout the novel that made sense, even though I hadn't been thinking about it at all at the time.

TheDreamAuthor wrote:
That when I tell you an idea I had or some whim I had about a plot direction, I don't need you to pick out every single solitary detail that doesn't work and why. I only thought of it two seconds before. Clearly it's far from perfect. I'm saying it out loud to you so I can think about it and reason it out. I know I need constructive criticism, but questioning me incessantly about the tiny little details when all I had was a broad, general idea with little focus is not helping me. At all. It just makes me annoyed that I don't know the answers and when I tell you "I don't know yet" you say "You have to think about this! I'm just telling you because it doesn't make sense! You need to do this, you need to do that!" Huh, I thought I was the one writing this novel, not you. Let me figure it out on my own time!

This. This is why I very rarely succumb to the temptation to tell my husband about the super-awesome-wonderful idea I just had, even though I really want to share it with someone. He likes to nitpick and, while it's nice that he's interested and wants to know more, there are times when it's appropriate to keep your remarks to "Wow, that's sounds awesome, I can't wait to see how you develop that!"

TheDreamAuthor wrote:

My characters lead the story. Seriously, 3 pages into November this year and already Ian was going the wrong direction, Erika hit someone in a car, and Jason turned into a blubbering fool-- plus he didn't even have the earring with him, let alone give it to Erika, and so didn't comply with the one and only reason he even got to be in that scene.

I'm facing the same issue. Corbin decided that he wanted to overtake my novel. Eileen was supposed to be the one dictating the story, but she's sitting back and letting Corbin have all of the cool powers I never ave him. She also freaked out over a murder when she was supposed to be the calm one and learn about everything Corbin's teaching her so she could teach it to him. But no, Corbin decided that he wants to rule my novel.

PlasticSmoothie wrote:
I hate, hate hate hate, HATE when people seem to think that everything I write is something I want to do or is a representation of myself in some way.

THIS. Oh, so much this. I've had times where I've made the grevious mistake of explaining my characters to people. The normal is response is, "Oh, she's you right?" The answer is no. They have parts of me yes, that's inevitable. Is each female character a direct representation of myself? Absolutely not. I don't want to write about myself. I'm writing about this specific character, not me. D:<

'There's also something about everyone who's not into writing immediately assuming that because you enjoy writing, your goal is automatically to become a new Stephen King or J.K Rowling.'

This! Recently we've had builders in and while they were working I was writing on my netbook. One of them asked if I was doing homework and when I said I was writing a novel he went "Ah, so you want to be the next JK Rowling, eh? Make loads of money and all that." No. I would not necessarily like to make loads of money with my novel, I would just like to write my novel. XD I just sort of smiled and went back to writing, but then later another of the builders asked what my story was about. When I said sci-fi he laughed, went "Sci-fi?" and then laughed again. I still don't know why he was laughing. Maybe he didn't expect a girl to be writing sci-fi, or he thought it was too geeky? I have no idea. I just sort of gave him a >_> look and went back to writing. XD

PlasticSmoothie wrote:
I hate, hate hate hate, HATE when people seem to think that everything I write is something I want to do or is a representation of myself in some way. Whenever we read a particularly gory short story in a class in school, all my friends go around: 'Wtf, the author must have some serious issues'. They never seem to understand that just because you write a story about something disgusting or creepy it's not because you would like to do what your characters do in said story.

I know! I was talking about how two MCs died, and I was going, "Yeah, so then I killed Josiah because he was in the way of keeping Lily from dieing before reaching the story goal, which leaves the way cleared for Sky to go on and do what she needs to do" and a little old lady over heard me. (This was after church.) She went and talked to Dad (who is the pastor) about it, and he said, "Oh, that's ok. It was in a novel she was writing." The lady said, "Oh. Can I read it?" "You can buy it from her off of Amazon, but she says it really isn't good and so I wouldn't, if I were you." Poor old lady. :P

RainbowConnection wrote:
That no, it's not okay to just go into my writing folder and read whatever you please without asking me first. Or that they can't sit behind me and watch me write. It drives me insane.

That fexes me greatly. (Fexes so is a word, darn spell checker!)

JettaBaby wrote:
That I'm not crazy for setting my alarm to 5 am so I can get up early and write.

I get up at 4:30 some days so that I can write.

----

1. No, I don't plan on majoring in English. Or minoring. Or going to college all in one fell swoop at all. (I'm going to take 1 to 3 classes a semester/year until I finish the major and minor, most likely. Maybe more if I'm feeling adventurous.)
2. No, writers do not have to have an English degree of any kind. I'm going to get one in classics and philosophy and history because those are the things that will help me the most. With a minor of voice because I love singing and music.
3. Yes, I can easily write 4 page papers the day before the first draft is due.
4. You need to pad your criticism with good things otherwise you won't be allowed to read anything I write again, but don't just use good things, otherwise you won't be allowed to read anything I write again. (Mom.)
5. If you don't know how to critique, just go ask Dad. He's good at it and will give you a good lesson about it.
6. I won't write things for you unless you pay me and ask me at least a week in advance. Nyah. *pokes tongue out*
7. Philosophy sounds really boring, but it does help with making characters. Sorry.

That's the question I always get for NaNo - "What do you get out of it? Are there any prizes?"

That's. NOT. THE POINT. I'm taking part in NaNo because I want to write - nothing more, nothing less.

My answer to this: Yeah, there's a prize. A book that nobody else has ever read!

Of course, that's generally met with bewilderment.

THIS. Every time I tell someone I'm doing NaNoWriMo, I get this question. Each and every time. The point is, I have a hard time writing today without a reason (I'm still looking for a job in a career that involves a lot of writing, though it's the boring, formulaic "insert your facts into a pre-written format" type of writing), and NaNo is that reason. I don't care if I get a prize-I care that I have an excuse to write.

I tried compiling a list of comebacks on my blog for that question. I'll just copy and paste it here:

-The certificate if you win. Sure, this isn’t a massive thing, but it still gives one a sense of achievement.
-A massive writing community
-New friends
-A completed manuscript, or a massive head start on one
-Accountability. So many writers (myself included) tend to procrastinate if they’re not held to their goals. NaNoWriMo imposes a deadline and, with the aid of the community, gives you a kick in the pants to finish what you started.
-Increased literacy, which is particularly potent for students
-Greater appreciation for writers, novels and the written word in general
-Possible publication. NaNoWriMo has its success stories, such as Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen, which started off as a NaNovel and now has a movie based on it.

Although non-writers probably won't really care about most of these, perhaps some shall be converted :)

When I told my grandparents I was doing NaNoWriMo, they suggested I should do it like a charity walk--have people sponsor me and donate so much money per word to some charity. I got irritated. Look, it's not *supposed* to be charitable. If you want to donate to the OLL so that it keeps going, that'd be great, but the reason I'm doing this is because I want to be a *writer.* I've wanted to be some kind of storyteller pretty much always since I was old enough to have a dream. Usually it's been writer. So would you kindly stop badgering me about making my life's dream more *charitable*?

Yes! this happens to me all the time. I often stop and think for a while, and to think better I pick up something (like a sewing project) that I can do by instinct. anyone who knows me doesn't bother me but everyone else starts talking to me and breaks my concentration and then I have to find a shovel and the feeding bowl for my plot bunnies.

Wolf Tears wrote:
That said, it is even less okay to distract me when my fingers are flying over the keyboard and I'm focused intently on the screen. If saying my name once or twice doesn't get me, come back in ten minutes and try again. Working up a good run is often hard, and I will not appreciate it if you interrupt one. At all. In fact, I may try to tear your head off and feed it to my plot bunnies.

Yes! This is my first year NaNo-ing, and I've never written long pieces before (I'm mainly a poetry-writer), and the first day, when I was very deeply into my writing and had this wonderful steam going, my boyfriend tried to get my attention. I nearly tore his head off! He has learned...

Yes, I want some plot bunnies. And I hate it when someone knocks at the door, or the phone rings.

Wolf Tears wrote:
When I go deathly still and stare out the window for fifteen minutes, fingers poised over the keyboard, I am working. Sometimes writing is furious typing and scribbled notes, but not always. Sometimes I need to think things through, or perhaps get myself into a specific emotional state so that I can write a difficult scene. I may not look like I'm doing anything to you, but in no way does that make it okay for you to break what might be a vital train of thought.

That said, it is even less okay to distract me when my fingers are flying over the keyboard and I'm focused intently on the screen. If saying my name once or twice doesn't get me, come back in ten minutes and try again. Working up a good run is often hard, and I will not appreciate it if you interrupt one. At all. In fact, I may try to tear your head off and feed it to my plot bunnies.

This.

'When I go deathly still and stare out the window for fifteen minutes, fingers poised over the keyboard, I am working. Sometimes writing is furious typing and scribbled notes, but not always. Sometimes I need to think things through, or perhaps get myself into a specific emotional state so that I can write a difficult scene. I may not look like I'm doing anything to you, but in no way does that make it okay for you to break what might be a vital train of thought.'

Oh yes XD When I go to my grandparents' house at the weekends for meals, after dinner I always get out my netbook and start writing, and my family wait until I stop to think for a moment and then go "Rebecca! Rebecca? Are you listening? I'm talking to you! REBECCA!" until I lose my train of thought or that amazing (or so I thought anyway XD) sentence I was just about to type and go "What? D:<" they just tell me they wanted me to look at something on the TV or go and find something for them. I know they're my family and I love them, but it's so annoying when they go "But you weren't writing, so it didn't matter if we interrupted you!"

Seriously who in their right mind thinks that's okay! I don't understand these read over someone's shoulder people. That is such a heinous crime.

JettaBaby wrote:
That the reason I type before going to bed is because that's when inspiration strikes me, not because I don't want to go to bed yet.

Aw yes, that moment just before you fall asleep when inspiration slaps you back awake. That's why I sleep with a writing utensil and a piece of paper by my bedside at all times.