Need help with romantic plot

Hey all! First time NaNo'er, first time writing a real novel (fanfic not counting, haha). I appear to have written myself into a corner and have NO idea where to go. My husband isn't being much help either. =/

My main character has been dating this guy for three years, they're in love, everything's great, etc. She meets another guy (of course) and they become friends, but after a few months of hanging out, realize they have feelings for each other.

So, both guys are really sweet, and originally, I wanted her to end up with neither of them, that she would grow as a person. Long story, I have reasons for this, blahblah, but yeah.

I just wrote a scene where she and the new guy kiss for the first time. He initiated it, she didn't stop it.

This is where I'm stuck. Does she tell the boyfriend? If so, does he forgive her? That makes him a chump. Does he let her go? That makes him look better, but since she cheated on him, that makes the reader not have much respect for her, which I don't want. If they do break up, does she then date the new guy? That kinda makes her a bitch, and him the rebound, which isn't good for either of them.

I could go back and undo the kiss, but I needed some sort of conflict to move the story along, and ninjas didn't really work out. =) If I undo the kiss, and she and the new guy continue to flirt, maybe the boyfriend catches on, and finally dumps her. Again, that makes her a terrible person.

And her boyfriend is not going to cheat on her, giving her an easy out. I *hate* when that happens.

Is there any way out of this that *doesn't* make her a terrible person? Does that even *matter*? The book (turned movie) "Something Borrowed" comes to mind. The main character is a TERRIBLE PERSON and yet people rooted for her (I guess, I sure as hell didn't). I guess I could just grow a pair and make her kind of a bad person, but at least make her learn from her mistakes, and learn that things that she does have consequences.

What would you hate the least in this situation, readers?

I think the situation I would like the best is if she sits down and really thinks about her relationship. She doesn't tell him right away, but feels really, really guilty about the kiss. Eventually she tells the boyfriend and says she doesn't want to continue the relationship because it's not fair to him if she has feelings for this other guy. Try to make the breakup as civil as possible and the MC as regretful as possible to the ex-bf, if he's a nice guy. I think if the character handles it in a respectful way, and owns up to what she did, she won't be viewed as a terrible person. Especially if she ends up with the other guy and he's really great. Or, he turns out to be awful, and she comes back to the original guy and tells him she never knew what she had til she lost it, yada yada, asks for forgiveness and goes back to him.

I agree wtih 1eyedcat for the most part - I think you're fine leaving the kiss in. It doesn't make your MC a terrible person, it just makes her a conflicted person. It happens a lot in real life where you develop feelings for someone else while you're still in a current relationship. Maybe she contemplates why this new guy is making her feel the way that she does - is it something specifically about him that gets her going? Or is it because something is missing from her relationship? Your MC will need to think about these things and specifically why she let the kiss happen in the first place. From there, I'd say let your character lead the way. If she realizes that she does have feelings for this new guy, then she should break up with her boyfriend (but I wouldn't have her jump into a new relationship right away... she should take it slow). If she realizes that she's been looking for some new thrill or excitement but is otherwise satisfied with her current relationship, then she needs to come clean about the kiss and then explain why she thinks it happened and why she isn't ready to give up on the relationship. I don't think her boyfriend would be a chump for staying with her either - it's not like she slept with the guy or has had a continuing affair, it was one kiss. Surely it would make him a bigger person to forgive her and try to work things out then just automatically dumping her. Or maybe through this whole process she'll realize that she really isn't attracted to the new guy, but it made her realize that her current relationship isn't enough for her and she let's both of them go. Have her think long and hard about it, and then let your character lead the way in which direction she wants to take.

I know this answer comes a little late and I don't know how much help it might be this long after the initial post but ... don't be afraid to let our character do bad things, make wrong choices. She kissed the guy so what? People do bad things in real life all the time. It doesn't make them terrible people if they own up to them and try to make things better, as much as they can. Temptation is part of life and unless you actually include some real signs of this (kisses, affairs and so on) it doesn't have the same effect, plot wise ...

I guess hoping for happy-poly-times is too much, right? ;)