[Science Fiction] Request for Readers

Dragonchilde — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:25:18 +0800

Please use this thread to find a reader for your novel! When posting, please remember to use the Template as listed in the sticky thread at the top of this forum! PLEASE read the guidelines before posting... not reading the guidelines results in unnecessary questions and the possibility your request will be ignored. Please use the preview option when posting. At this time, there is no ability to edit, so what you post WILL stay as is. Post your request here for your readers. It does not have to be for the novel you wrote for National Novel Writing Month. (If you are interested in something posted here DO NOT respond in this thread, send the poster a NaNoMail.) Do NOT contact someone about reading their novel if you have no intention of providing feedback. Copy and Paste Template: Title: Length, Draft and Language: Brief Summary (not more than 300 words) Sub Genre & Keywords: Known Issues: Critique Requested: Critique Tolerance: Experience & Goals: Method of Communication: Anything else? Disclaimers?

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

creatorx2 — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 19:59:55 +0800

Title: One Hundred Percent 50000 words, Draft 1, English Language A dozen teenagers find themselves thrust into a highly dangerous reality-tv-show where there are no rules. They mostly get up to shenanigans for a while, then start killing each other, then eventually band together, revolt, and attempt an escape through the complicated confines of the inner workings of the Facility. This all happens over the course of a week and a half. It is not narrated in a very serious or dramatic manner. There is also a raven named Chad that bonds with an attractive dead girl whose eyes got burned out, just as an example of the over-the-top method of plotting I used. Sub-Genre: Humor, I guess. Near-Future. Young-Adult Romance, to a limited degree. Known Issues - There may be the odd typo, and I am well aware that present-tense may feel strange. Also various swear-words have been swapped out with a different nonsense-word based on the chapter so don't worry about the bizarre expletives. Critique Requested - Feedback definitely on the plot to some degree, but narrative structure is also important. I'd like to know which are the best characters and which are the best fight-scenes. Does its occasional abruptness work for or against the narrative? ...Is it relatively humorous when it's supposed to be? Do the fourth-wall breaks add or subtract from the whole thing? Etcetera, etcetera. Critique Tolerance - I would like as brutal and complex a critique as possible. I don't want fluffy stuff or vague generalities. Experience & Goals - This is my second novel but it might as well be my first because it has no resemblance to my other one in the slightest. I'm not a novice writer though; I do quite a bit, just not generally works of this length. Method of Communication - Email is good, but PM me first to exchange contacts. :) Anything else.... oh yeah, I am a relatively decent critiquer. I'm harsh but my critiques are about 1000% more in-depth than most. That's not an exaggeration. It's about 10 times the expected length, normally. Pages upon pages, separated into different sections for organization. Just letting you know. In fact, I am a critiquing god in comparison to some of the critiques I've gotten on other stuff. Like, three sentences, typed in an email. The first sentence was "so u write this pretty goodly." Disclaimers: Heavy violence; pretty much the entire point. Sexual content; not really described in detail but definitely unambiguous. Expletives; for the most part humorously censored out but certainly some still lying around. Disturbing imagery; corpses being pecked apart by crows, burned-out eyes, axes-through-faces, twelve-year-olds partaking in brutal violence, someone dressed up as a ferengi fooling around with someone dressed as a teddy bear, etc. Turnaround: I'd like to have a time limit, but I also don't want anyone to just rush through it. So maybe a month? But then it'll just get left to the last minute. So six weeks maybe, and don't get offended if you get lots of reminders. :) Thank you for your consideration :)

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

Tooterfish — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 23:09:00 +0800

Title: Gematria Length, Draft and Language: 50,242 words, First Draft, English Brief Summary: A lonely distress signal attracts the attention of bounty hunter and engineering genius, Cen. The escape pod from which the signal emanates holds a single man with terrible injuries and only one eye. When he comes to, he and Cen discover that he has no memories. He joins Cen's crew, hoping that their travels between the systems will reveal his true identity. But the longer the man is with Cen, the stranger things get. He has frightening proficiency with bladed weapons. He is pursued by a zealous warship captain for reasons unknown. People recognize him... but they don't. He dreams of numbers that he can't get out of his head. His damaged mind holds the key to the universe. As darkness threatens to overtake the Lurala System, and all the systems in the galaxy, the man with the missing eye must make sense of the numbers from his dreams. To find the key. To stop the darkness. To save them all. Sub Genre & Keywords: Space Opera. Gematria, number codes, bounty hunting, stupid robot Known Issues: The numbers in the novel are simply placeholders thus far. I'm sure there are some typos and weirdly-phrased sentences here or there. The novel is shaping up to be 100k+ words, but I've only written 50k, and only about 40k of those words are in order. I'll only send the 40k that are in order to prevent any kind of brain-melting due to missing parts. Critique Requested: Predictability, sense-making, and am I being too subtle with my foreshadowing? What is your opinion about Davis? Critique Tolerance: I prefer about 80% you-need-to-fix-this critiques, interspersed with 20% I-really-liked-this critiques. The positive critiques don't help improve my writing at all, but they keep me from crying myself to sleep at night! Experience & Goals: I wrote my first short story when I was 7 years old in the computer lab at school when I was supposed to be learning how to be a pioneer on Oregon Trail (I always starved, stupid game!) I've never published anything (unless you count short stories in my college newspaper, which I don't), but I think it would be super fun to do so. Method of Communication: e-mail! NaNoMail me for my e-mail addy. Anything else? Disclaimers?: The first section of the novel doesn't really contain any graphic descriptions of violence or sexing-type things. There are some minor swears (shit and damn and maybe ass, I can't remember) but nothing more than that. The most disturbing part of the whole story is the minor antagonist, who is a psychopath (literally), but he appears only briefly in the first part, so his crazy thoughts aren't being broadcast yet. Turnaround: I don't have any deadlines, and I know December is a busy time of year. I'm down with getting critiques back in January, after the holiday rush! :)

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

Napoleon — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 01:07:26 +0800

Title: Machinations of Human Contact Length, Draft and Language: 50,035, 1st Draft, English Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): Charlie, a thirteen year old girl raised by robots, is mysteriously sent away from the abandoned moon colony she's called home her whole life. Discovered drifting in space by a pilot from Globe (a planet not unlike Earth), Charlie encounters people for the very first time, and begins to finally understand what it means to be human. (It's more exciting than this, promise.) Sub Genre & Keywords: social sci-fi, Jungle Book-meets-Le Petit Prince-meets-Moon Known Issues: Lots of grammatical things of all shapes and sizes, the science sucks (it's first draft, after all, research must be done). Critique Requested: Plot, character development, continuity. Critique Tolerance: The whole kit and caboodle. I can take it. All I ask is for concrete reasons/examples of why you might like/dislike something. Experience & Goals: This is my first attempt at a novel (and it's not complete, mind you). I think it needs a loooooot of work both story-wise and structurally, but I do think there is something workable, somewhere, in it. Just trying to figure out what. Method of Communication: E-mail works best. But we can discuss other options via NaNoMail. Anything else? Disclaimers? There might be some allusion to sexual activity, some light swearing. I'm not sure the age-range of the novel (maybe it's YA? I didn't really write it as such though, despite the character being a young teen). Also, admittedly, this is my first attempt at writing science fiction and, unfortunately, I don't read as much of it as I should. Something to keep in mind on your end. As for turnaround time, I have no deadline, but wouldn't mind getting word back by January or February.

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

jabney — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 02:27:49 +0800

Title - Naming Rights - or - A Name For the Nameless Length - 52 k (as of Nov. 30) Draft - First (as of Nov. 30) Language - English Brief Summary - The youth (the nob MC) does not yet have a name. The MC's serf, Oogle, does have a name, as do all serfs, but the MC refuses to use it. It's a sibling rivalry issue of sorts because the youth and Oogle were brought up spending time together with Oogle's gran, Annamaude, a freed serf who makes a living as an unlicensed astrologer. They all live in the Realm which is run by the Council of Counts. The youth's Uncle Ray used to hold Annamaude's obligation and is suspected of having created, QER: Quantum Entanglement Radio, a disruptive technology that allows one-way reception of broadcasts from Terra. When Annamaude is imprisoned for mis-forecasting a retrograde movement by the asteroid, Cadilliac 59, (owned by evil Count Gregor), the youth and Oogle set off on a quest to clear her name by finding the original Ephemeris of Eleanor. The youth is aided by Count Greedo and his and Ray's company, QG (formerly, quantumgrab) in getting into Count Gregor's lair in the guise of a tribute band, the first on the planet. The band, Coughdrop Dolores 61 Revisited, pays tribute to the obscure Terran band, Coughdrop Dolores, which is said to have a cult following. The band members think that the gig for Count Gregor is at a launch party for the vast warehouse space the count has had excavated under the surface of Cadilliac 59. In fact, it's a launch party for a much larger, secret space in the hollowed out core. The youth also happens to be prophesied as The Chosen One, but he doesn't like to make a big deal out of it. Like many on his planet, he's not sure if he believes that sort of stuff. Sub Genre - Science fiction with some fantasy elements (e.g. a chosen one = yes, unicorns = no) Keywords - serf, class, nob, quantum entanglement, name, names, naming, astrology, chosen one, tribute band, worm-hole, language, the Realm, post-apocolypse, population control, android sex workers. disruptive technology, floating, bevo, orange blood Known Issues - The youth (the nob MC) does not yet have a name, nor do his peers of the same age and class. This is a bug as well as a feature. The novel is not yet complete, as it is envisioned as part of a trilogy. The youth's mother is named Mary Sue. Critique Requested - Your choice, of course but I'd like to know: Would you lend your copy to a friend? Would you want it back after they finished? If not, why? Would this work as something other than a novel? Critique Tolerance - Assume that this writer has a thick skin. However, if you savage the piece, please provide specific examples of what you consider to be good writing covering the same subject or subjects. Experience & Goals - I'm a lyricist trying his hand at a longer form work. Method of Communication - email preferred. I don't use Word and I don't have a Mac, so .txt files or AbiWord, or other free Windows or Linux-friendly would be good. Disclaimers - The youth's father and mother met in Antoine's, a brothel secretly owned by Count Gregor, when Elliot, celebrating his new MBA degree and name with a gift certificate from his much older brother Ray, got off the elevator on the wrong floor. Instead of the pair having relations with their respective android partners, the two actually made love to each other. The youth was the result. The mother, even though she worked in a brothel was technically a virgin (i.e. her hymen was intact) until that night. The sexual content itself is low, much like the sex drive on the planet. Turnaround time - No rush, but letting me know your broad conclusions before April (Script Frenzy) would be cool.

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

aiuku — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 02:51:22 +0800

Quest for the Marion 53,300 words, first draft, English Jack Satby, a shiftless second-rate smuggler, is intrigued when he meets Rezi. She's a Trader, one of a race of spacefaring people that live in kinship-based clans on spaceships and make their living by transporting cargo from one planet to another. Traders rarely travel on non-Trader passenger vessels and never travel alone. But Rezi is doing both. Satby learns that her ship, the Marion, has disappeared along with her husband and young son, and offers--with profit in mind--to help her track it down. But the Marion is just one of many Trader ships that have been disappearing, their inhabitants suffering from a strange disease known as deep space dementia, a disease that non-Traders insist is brought on by Traders' unnatural spaceborn lifestyle and genetic mutation. Is the Marion just one of the stricken ships, or is there another reason behind its disappearance, a reason that goes deeper than the aimless spread of disease? Keywords: New disease, space mystery, planet-hopping, new culture Known Issues: Timeline & event continuity Critique Requested: Structure, timeline, style/voice/tone, POV, characterization, worldbuilding, pretty much any issues found. Critique Tolerance: Be honest, but not gratuitously brutal. I can take it! Experience & Goals: This is my first novel, my first NaNo, and pretty much my first serious writing attempt since, like, high school. I don't necessarily want to get published, but I DO want to make this story the best it can be. Method of Communication: I prefer emailing Word documents marked with the comment function, or maybe using a shared Google doc. Ideally, I would like to send short sections that I've already fiddled with instead of the entire story, buuut I'm open to other methods. Other: There are a couple graphic scenes with violence and gore. No deadlines, but I don't want to go a month without hearing any feedback, thus why I want to send shorter sections. I'm willing to trade stories.

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

Lorata — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 07:32:05 +0800

Title: HORIZON'S VERGE Length, Draft and Language: 115,400 words, first draft, English, complete. Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): (mods: this is 299 words, I checked!) When a group of atavistic historical reenactors misuse Temporal Historical Society technology to travel back in time to 1806 and give themselves a new life in the past, they send four confused contemporaries into the future in their place: LADY JOSEPHINE BRANSCOMBE, widow of Geoffrey Branscombe (killed in action against Napoleon in Prussia), who would rather have her husband here than honour in his stead. Tired of the war and its blind patriotism in 1806, she has no desire to be blindly pulled into another. CAPTAIN HENRY FITZWILLIAM of His Majesty's Royal Navy, currently on furlough after a traumatic incident in battle and avoiding the conversation with himself about what to do if he can't take command again. Already facing an existential crisis,he finds himself at a loss as to how he can make himself useful in a society where he has no purpose. LIEUTENANT ARTHUR BENJAMIN HARDING, upwardly-mobile cavalry officer and ladies' man, recently distinguished in battle after a mad charge led his outfit to victory. Well used to the company and adulation of European women, he discovers that in the future he's as aesthetically appealing to them as Neanderthals to him. And ... LORD GEORGE BYRON, age 19, just published his first anonymous set of poems, and only beginning to set foot down the road to fame. Recently cowed into destroying almost all copies of his original poetry collection by a disapproving critic, he faces the knowledge of a lifetime of art and infamy he'll never get to experience. Thrust into the future with no way back, forced to assimilate new languages, cultures, technology, and biology, in a society embroiled in a war with echoes of the one they just escaped, the four must rediscover who they are, and on what side of the battle line they choose to stand. Sub Genre & Keywords: Time-travel, galactic war, politics, biology, inter-species relationships, same-sex relationships Known Issues: It's a first draft, obviously, so tons. Continuity, pacing, character, I'm sure there are oodles, not to mention typos. I also tend to repeat images or phrases I really like, if I haven't reread and didn't realise I'd used them already. Critique Requested: I don't need grammar or typos; I have a close beta for that. In this case I want broader critique: did things work for you? Did it seem unrealistic? Did this relationship move too quickly? Did this plot event get resolved too conveniently? Did I make a huge continuity error? The biggest thing is that I know I rushed through or jumped ahead in certain developments, in order to get the draft finished by the end of November, so I want to know if certain character/relationship/plot arcs move too fast or feel unnatural. I'm looking to expand this quite a bit, so let me know where I could elaborate more. Critique Tolerance: Hit me. Experience & Goals: Writing vet, publishing newbie. Never had anything make it to print, but I'd like to. Eventually I want this to get there. Method of Communication: Up to you. I'll e-mail you the document in whatever format you prefer (pdf, doc, Scrivener, whatever) and you can do what you like. I've had people add comments in Word, or directly annotate PDFs by hand, or type up pages of feedback in a separate file with page references -- it's all good. I'm on Japan-time, though, so email works better than IM. Disclaimers: This is not a capital-g-gay capital-n-novel, but it does deal with same-sex relationships now and then. If that's not your cup of tea, I don't want you to feel like I sprang it on you unfairly. Very little violence, absolutely no sexual content, and only minor swearing (one incident of the f-word, used for effect). Also, I'm a Canadian, which means I mix British & American spelling. Sorry!

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

nerrdygrrl15 — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 10:00:17 +0800

Title: Chasing Space Length, Draft and Language: 50,100 words as of November 30th, First Draft, English Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): It is somewhere in the distant future, and tensions are rising between the races on each planet of our Solar System (including Pluto, wouldn't want to leave Pluto out). Earth and Neptune are on the brink of war, and many civilizations seem ready to join in. Three orphans from three different orphanages on three different planets all end up on one space station for one reason or another. April, an alien abandoned on Earth, has headed there on a field trip. Mae, a Venusian native, has her transport ship hijacked and forcibly piloted to the station. March is returning to the station from military school in hopes of finding his womanizing father. All three orphans meet up by chance on the space station and decide that their lives would be much better if they stole a small spaceship and set off in search for their parents. They embark on their mission in the midst of interplanetary war, and their adventures begin! Sub Genre & Keywords: Aliens, orphans, rite of passage, coming of age, xenophobia, war, planet- hopping Known Issues: This is the first draft of the first novel I have ever written, and it's only about halfway done, so you can imaging all the glaring issues. I've tried to stop it at a good point, but I've already noticed that I seem to cram as much as I can in at the end. This will change once I begin the second half, because I can spread everything out, but yes, there are pacing issues. Critique Requested: Characterization, whether or not this story could be better in past tense, real-world things like if you would actually recommend it to others, pacing. Critique Tolerance: I'm not used to critique, but I need to get used to it quickly, so go ahead. Don't be too harsh because I would probably freak out and scrap large bits that may not need to be scrapped. Experience & Goals: This is my first legitimate novel. I have been writing for quite a few years now, but as I'm only 14, I don't have much real experience. I've written bits and pieces of other serious things and have around 7 or 8 stories I still want to write or create in graphic novel form. My goal is to gain information that I can use both for this novel and for other pieces of work, since I tend to repeat both my errors and my successful techniques. Method of Communication: Email is fine. I have Pages on my computer but I believe it can be converted into Word easily. Pages has the "comment" function that I just love, so if you have a Mac, that would be so great to use. Anything else? Disclaimers? There is mild swearing throughout but mostly in the first half (of this first half). There is mild violence in the first half and one slightly more violent scene in the second half that actually makes use of the Travelling Shovel in a... different... way. There is underage drinking in an unusual fashion in the second half. There is one kiss in the second half. Later versions contain same-sex undertones, so if you aren't open to that, this may not be the book for you. As for turnaround, I am away at a theater program this winter, not sure about the dates at this exact moment, but I'll keep you posted. I don't know how long it normally takes people to read books because I read very quickly, so just take as long as you need. Thanks! ~Hannah

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

KingRaven — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 13:13:50 +0800

Title - The Marvelous Adventures of Man-Man Length, Draft and Language: 2.5K (Short I know), second -ish draft, English Brief Summary - Blake Hudson is the school jock. Living in a world where super powers are the 'norm', he knows that he will never have any. He is neither a nerd or a billionare -playboy. So he sest his sights on becoming a policeman. Little does he know what awaits him, when, by some twist of fate, he does aquire powers. Sub Genre & Keywords - Superhero, origin story, comic book, high school. Known Issues - I know the title is stupid, it was supposed to be a parody at first! Critique Requested - This is the first comic in a 'dimension' that is unlike any other comicbook 'dimension' (ie. Marvel, DC), so tell me what you think! All of it, good and bad! (p.s. There are more superheroes, they just come in later.) Critique Tolerance - Anything! Experience & Goals - First comic. Method of Communication - Email Anything else? Disclaimers - This is in a script formatting as I am having it drawn. This universe is a collaborated effort of my artist (Shadow Hawk), my creative team (siblings), and me (The author). In no way do I claim full ownership of this (Even though I wrote it all).

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

Dizzytomboy56 — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 02:23:44 +0800

Title: The Planetary Network System Length, Draft and Language: 50,870ish (not 100% sure) - 1st Draft - English Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): (not actually decided what year it is in this story.) The Universe is very advanced, with hundreds of habituated planets containing billions of beings. In the centre of the Universe there is the Hub, a giant floating space station that holds about 15 billion beings. The PNS is an electronic system which holds the universe together by making sure everyone is connected together. The Supreme Commander is the ruler of the Hub, and therefore the entire Universe. He is there to keep peace throughout the universe and keep alliances strong so no major wars break out. Vice (MMC) is the second-in-command to the Supreme Commander, and is actually the one who does all the work because Imros (the Supreme Commander) only does things when it benefits him. Only a few actually know why Vice does everything for Imros. Ella, something of a childhood friend to Vice, is trying to destroy Imros because of what his father did to her family. The entire story revolves around Vice trying to stop Ella through many plans and schemes, both of them playing a dangerous game where the bodies of their pawns pile up around their feet. To protect Imros, his only choice is to betray him so Ella will be forced to make her move and he can finally get rid of her. Sub Genre & Keywords: Romance, betrayal, action, adventure, lying, sacrifice, er....there are probably a lot more, but those are the ones that come to mind. Known Issues: Pretty bad writing style as you start to get into it, repeated phrases when describing certain emotions and feelings. Chops and changes pretty suddenly as well. Critique Requested: I want to know if I managed to get my characterization down. also, how are my descriptions? and is my plot too complicated? Critique Tolerance: Just go nuts. I want to be a published writer in the future, so it's better to find problems early on. Experience & Goals: Method of Communication: NaNoMail me and then we can swap email addresses. Anything else? Disclaimers? - I have a problem with grammar, so parts may seem a little strange because I can never get how to end a word when you are using plurals. Also, the novel isn't actually finished, so about half way through it gets a bit choppy because I haven't written filler scenes.

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

nycavri — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 02:50:31 +0800

Title: You Are Not Here Length, Draft and Language: 50k, Second draft, English Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): A disembodied consciousness, alone in the dark, sees world after world through floating windows and struggles with who, what, why . . . Sub Genre & Keywords: Philosophy, Identity, Fourth Wall Known Issues: It is fair to say that this novel is meta. It plays with traditional concepts of the novel, specifically the relationship between reader and writer, character and narrator. It would not surprise me if some people found it pretentious . . . Critique Requested: Does the story flow? Hold your interest? Is there tension throughout? Between the Sci-Fi scenes and the introspection? Is the ending a surprise? Satisfying? Critique Tolerance: I'm a big boy - do your worst. Experience & Goals: I am a 4 time NaNo "winner" with a long history of writing and a non-existent history of trying to publish anything. In You are Not Here, I have finally advanced a piece to a place where I am ready for the world to see it, and need enough constructive criticism to edit it to query quality . . . Method of Communication: Email Anything else? Disclaimers? I kept this one intentionally PG13 - there is violence on a galactic scale, occasional close up gore, nothing sexual in nature and no offensive language.

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

henshinger — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 15:22:21 +0800

Title: Lucifer's Gauntlet Length, Draft and Language: about 50k, first draft, English Brief Summary (not more than 300 words) Gary was desperate to save his son, who was now a zombie in heaven. He threw away his life in heaven to steal Lucifer's gauntlet, the most powerful of all the gauntlets, and went back to earth to find a cure, giving up twenty years of fulfilling his purgatory. Angels and devils wanted the gauntlet and now he was chased by them. Little did he know that the zombification of souls was only a part of hell's plan to destroy heaven. Now, Gary must unite with the people who caused his problems in the first place to stop hell's invasion on heaven, where his son resides. Sub Genre & Keywords: Slipstream, angels, devils, time travelling, zombies, fourth wall breaking narrators. Known Issues: Poorly set up scenes, grammar, more dialogue than action in fight scenes, loophole in Gary's back story(I briefly forgot he died in the 80s) Critique Requested: Strengths and weaknesses(20%) Everything wrong with it and how to improve it.(80%) Critique Tolerance: I absolutely hate reviews that have nothing to say, but it's good. The strength to weakness ratio should be at least 1:2 meaning there should be two bad things for every good thing Experience & Goals: This is my first NaNo, but I wrote a novel before. Method of Communication: I posted my novel here. Just comment there. If you don't like commenting, NaNoMail me. Disclaimers: It's not yet done. I may have won NaNo, but it is currently in the falling action. Also, I classify it as slipstream and is a mix of science fiction and fantasy, so this is in the fantasy and sci-fi thread.

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

TimothyTurpin — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 20:52:48 +0800

Title The Tongueless Word Count, Draft and Language 50,094 words. First draft. All of it is in English. Brief Summary In a world grossly overpopulated, a shocking plot to depopulate the Earth is hatched by the New United Nations. Christopher O'Connor, a journalist from the local newspaper, doesn't believe the stories of a 'Relocation Initiative' that are being put out by the government, so goes to investigate. What he finds will change his life forever: He shall make enemies, find new friends, commit unspeakable acts and take a terrible loss... Trust me, it's better than that with a lot more in it, but what can you do with three hundred words? Sub-Genre Sub-genre would probably come in at Dystopian. Not sure if Full-On Mass Murder By The Hand Of An Evil General is a sub-genre, but if it was to be, then this story would be it. Known Issues Known issues. Yikes, there are a few. The biggest is that it's actually unfinished. I am very well aware that this is a very annoying thing for any reader who has not yet gone completely insane, so sorry. Secondly, the first 10K appear to no longer have a place in my story, so critique it anyway, but know that it's not making the final cut. Maybe for a sequel, but not in this one. Thirdly, continuity, typos and pace are real issues. I may have swapped names for certain places around a bit to suit my needs and insane hope that it would make things better. Now you know what you're gonna be up against, do you really wish to continue? Critique Requested Critique everything from characters to choice of words to the use of capital letters in certain places, alongside chapter titles and all that good stuff. Tell me if the italics are necessary or if they could be missed out any at all. Literally bombard everything. Leave no building left standing! Critique Tolerance I want someone to go the full way as far as critiquing my novel is concerned. Pick holes in everything you can: continuity, plot, pace, etc. etc. I want the full works, not some sissy stuff complimenting the use of possessive apostrophes and all that. A little bit of complimentary stuff would be nice, but don't push it unless you actually love it. As far as the ratio goes, let's say around 95:5. I'm pretty sure I know what I've done well, but point it out every so often. In conclusion, just drop a thermonuclear device upon the whole thing and blow it to smithereens if you can. Experience & Goals As far as experience goes, I'm not all that seasoned. I have had articles and stories published in books and stuff, though it hasn't been anything major. I have managed to write some sort of humourous stuff before (check out my blog and look at the posts labelled 'How the MPs Stole Christmas'), and I intend to do more of that. As far as goals are concerned, I just want a good novel that I can have read aloud to my grandchildren in years to come without me cringing and thinking, "Lord almighty, did I actually write this stuff?" Method of Communication Communications shall be dealt with over email or NaNoMail. Contact me at pisces.kettle@yahoo.com for more of that. Disclaimers Hah! Disclaimers. Yeah, I have a few. First of all, it isn't actually finished. Secondly, there isn't any swearing, apart from the odd 'damn!' or something similarly small and insignificant. There isn't any sexual content. I would say that there are some distressing scenes of medical gore and that. We have a sadistic General who may scare small children. It is rather gory at points in time, but if you don't mind the odd camel's guts getting spilt or a scene or two of very relevant torture in the form of forced surgery then you'll be fine. Timescale. I would like it back as soon as is possible, which should be stated in any email that you care to send me. This is so that I can begin work on the second draft as soon as I can, as I shall be finishing my novel during the time that you read the first half or so. OK folks, thanks for your time and stuff. Contact me through NaNoMail or the email address stated above please. Timothy Turpin out.

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

Evangeline Crow — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 03:46:33 +0800

Title: Monochrome and the Magpie Length, Draft and Language: 8K, Unfinished First Draft, English Brief Summary: Savoy “Mr. Magpie” Blue is an experiment. Fourteen years old and thirteen of those he's spent in Genetisystems' Aspen Pediatrics Complex, a research facility that has the sole mission of learning about how human gender and sexuality really ticks. Blue loves it there, he can do as he likes most of the time and is taken care of. But then he's Tagged, and his options are being sold out of the facility or being Chopped for parts. Now that he’s been sold, though, he’s been sold to an organization fighting against Genetisystems called The Bird’s Inn, and he’s left behind his best friend, and everything else, but he’s suddenly making more friends with people that are a part of the Bird’s Inn. So does Blue break the loyalties he has to his home, the place he’s lived for thirteen years, or does he side with the people who he’s now forming new alliances with? Is the decision really that black and white? Sub Genre & Keywords: Romance, LGBTQ/Gender Studies, Action, Dark Comedy, Tragedy Known Issues: The characters are all a bit flat, and of course, this is just the beginning of the book, I'm trying to figure out if it's worth writing the rest. Critique Requested: Characters, and mostly just what I have could be critiqued, and I could tell you about my ideas for the rest of the book as well, if you want to help shape those a bit. Critique Tolerance: I can take the harshest stuff as long as you're relatively polite about it and don't make personal attacks. Experience & Goals: This is my second novel, and I don't have any goals with it really. Method of Communication: Email or NaNoMail. Anything else? Disclaimers? Remember; this is a novel that will probably be upwards of 50K, and this is just the small first chunk!

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

moromis — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 00:27:58 +0800

Title: Deep Cerulean. Length, Draft and Language: 50,000 words, first draft, English. Brief Summary (not more than 300 words) The forces of the universe, gathering together the ones that can see the future, the ones that will bring about the end of all that exists, is stirring. Their journeys are distinct, winding and touching each other's paths, coursing through time. Each resists or accepts their destinies, fate, in their own time, but together they will undoubtedly end it all. Sub Genre & Keywords: Hard SF, apocalyptic, speculative fiction, perhaps biopunk. Known Issues: Little things, but mostly, is the plot cohesive and are the characters interesting? I know for certain that it follows what I want to read fairly well, but is it interesting to you? Also, I wrote in a few of my own hypotheses concerning time and human experience, so if you have actual scientific experience in those areas, I would REALLY like to hear from you. Critique Requested: Words I use too much? Odd wording, etc. Mainly general things, unless you think it requires an entire rewrite. Also weird formatting from the justification. Critique Tolerance: Pick up on as much as you want, be as brash and rude as you believe the changes require, but don't just beat around the bush. Experience & Goals: Have written on and off for a few years prior to this novel, never anything so large, but I have a strong desire to get this published. Method of Communication: Email. NaNoMail me to get my email address and the manuscript. I generally move very quickly and email multiple times daily. Anything else? Disclaimers? I have done a partial edit on my own already, but I would appreciate your help greatly. No disclaimers, I don't think the characters even ever swore. I wrote it to be very thought provoking and intelligent. Also, I can do any format but I would prefer if you use OpenOffice (it's free).

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

cathy1967 — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 23:10:18 +0800

Title: Dark Side of the Moon Length, Draft and Language: 50,559 - Draft 1 - English Brief Summary: Kyle Whitmore, son of a multi-millonaire, has been living the easy life, never needing anything other than his father's affection. He gets himself in trouble his father refuses to bail him out of and he is sent to LPC, a prison colony on the Moon, which is the last stop before death for all those sent there. He must learn to get by very quickly. Fortunately, Kyle adapts to new situations easily, but LPC may prove too much for even him. Sub Genre & Keywords: Horror/Thriller Known Issues: There will be typos and/or grammatical glitches. I have not read through it since I wrote it, but would really love some feedback on it. There is a lot of swearing going on and a lot of talk about sexual situations of a non-consensual nature. Critique Requested: Does it work? If not, what doesn't work? The typos and grammatical glitches I usually pick up on when I reread a story (and I do that a lot), but sometimes it's hard to see if scenes don't really match or characters seem superfluous. Continuity is very important to me. Critique Tolerance: Honesty is the main thing here. I won't get upset if I'm told it doesn't work. I just need to know why it doesn't work. Experience & Goals: I've written fan-fiction and published it online since the beginning of time (or so it seems). I pretty much know what I like, but this is my first real jump into original fiction. I would like to publish this online at some point (I actually have published the draft, but for some reason people don't tend to comment where I posted it). I have no idea if this is good enough to sell (I've never tried to sell a story before). Method of Communication: E-mail, chat (mostly Yahoo) Anything else? Disclaimers? Disclaimer would be swearing and adult situations. Nothing too specific on the latter, but there is mention of male rape. Oh, and I should mention that it's not done and at present I don't know where it will end. I usually write on a whim and the story grows on its own. I have no template for this tale. What I need now is to know if it works before I get back into it and finish it. I tend to write long stories.

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

Alerane — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 07:06:00 +0800

Title: The Facility (Working title) Length, Draft and Language: 25k (This is not the finished length, so length may be different by the time I am contacted. This is as far as I got for NaNo.) First draft, English. Brief Summary: The story follows a girl who ends up in a facility where researchers are gentically manipulating children and pitting them against each other in mental and physical tests. She has become so used to this routine that she no longer finds it frightening, only an inevitable cruelty. She is content to just repeat the same steps to avoid punishment forever, but then the routine begins to take odd and upsetting turns. People are going missing, things are changing and there will come an opportunity for the girl to care about what's happened to her again, but will she take it? Sub Genre & Keywords: Soft-sci-fi, mutant, scientific facility, bio-weapons Known Issues: Awkward sentence structures and an abundance of run-on-sentences. Lack of clarity in actions in some cases. Critique Requested: I am looking to make sure I am consistent in POV and my plot points aren't too subtle. I am also worried I may have left my readers' interest behind because I revel in odd little details when I read stuff myself so I find it hard to judge what someone else would find exciting/notice. But I do want critique overall, anything you can spot. Critique Tolerance: I can take anything dished out, believe me. I enjoy being torn to pieces. I have been in visual art critiques. I CRAVE feedback. Experience & Goals: My experience is limited to poetry and a few published comic shorts. This will be my first attempt to finish a novel. My goal is with eventual publishing in mind and eventually lengthening this into the 70k-80k range Method of Communication: I will be checking my NaNomail, but if you have a deviantArt account you can contact Alerane, my account there too. Once I get mail on either site I can give out my email there. Anything else? Disclaimers? Uh, disclaimer, this draft will be longer than listed unless someone contacts me before Christmas.

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

She BElieVIEd — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 10:25:52 +0800

Title: Evol Length, Draft and Language: 111 pages so far, draft number one, English Brief Summary (not more than 300 words) They're taking over. Our brains. Our hearts. Not inside our bodies. If you past the test. If you prove your superb intelligence--they will let you live, inside a new body. Inside the body of a robot, indestructible, impossibly knowledgeble, and not you. For some, this is a dream, if they're lucky enough to pass. Even with all the right answers, they have to like you if you want to continue on, if you want to succeed by winning your own life. And every emotion inside you will go away, minus love. They say this will cause love to rule over all, to create a world of peace. They couldn't be more wrong. Sub Genre & Keywords: Hmm. I can't really think of anything... Known Issues: Grammar/spelling mistakes. Like I said, first draft--anything you catch, you can share with me. Critique Requested: I want to know what you liked (if anything), what there should be more of. I need to know if it makes sense, if you can pick up on the drift of things and begin to understand how the world works in Evol. I need to know what you think of character names, and of my use of the five senses. Critique Tolerance: Give it to me hard. Unless you feel completely incapable of saying anything bad...then you should probably work on your editing skills. I know I have minor and major mistakes, both. Experience & Goals: I don't know if this material that can be sold. Mainly because, I did not write it for that purpose. I write because I enjoy to write--and I'm VERY curious to see how people react to anything, my writing included. Method of Communication: Nanomail whenever possible. To send the actual story, though, email seems to work best. Anything else? Disclaimers? There is death--murder--but it is done in such a way that I think it is not a serious issue as far as being too gruesome or puke-inducing. Thank you!

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

RobertLent — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 03:23:29 +0800

Title: Don Quixote, Warlord of Mars Length, Draft and Language: about 51,200 words, second draft, English Brief Summary (not more than 300 words) A sleepwalking Don Quixote gets up out of his deathbed, and while still asleep, gets on his horse and rides out. He winds up at a cave, awakes and enters, and suddenly finds himself on Mars. In the lower gravity of Mars, Don Quixote finds himself much stronger than he expected. Don Quixote finds that while on Earth he was a fool who only believed himself to have been a knight, on Mars finds that he really is one. Sub Genre & Keywords: I classify it as science fiction because it takes place on Mars. Traditionally, simply putting it on another planet places a book in the science fiction category, but realistically it could be in the fantasy or adventure categories. Known Issues: The language is a bit stiff and formal, but so is Don Quixote, at least the Ormsby translation that I read. Critique Requested: Where should I add more detail? Are there plot holes that I need to patch? Are there areas where I am too vague? Are there areas where I need to cut? Critique Tolerance: If you have suggestions that help to make it a better story, I'm willing to listen. Experience & Goals: This is the first novel I have written. I plan on publishing it through Smashwords, I don't expect it to be any kind of blockbuster. Method of Communication: E-mail Anything else? Disclaimers? The Mars I use is meant to have somewhat of a resemblance to Burroughs' Barsoom, but it is not Barsoom.

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

Macdp — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 22:57:45 +0800

Title: Bionic Length, Draft and Language: Approx 50k words, first draft with some grammatical edits (still editing), English Brief Summary: Victims of freak accidents are fitted with advanced prosthetics but are then turned into soldiers of a corrupt Government, and called Bionics. Zven is a particular Bionic and the story follows her and the people she meets as she seeks to do her duty,and discover her destiny. Sub Genre & Keywords: Dystopic society, advanced prosthetics Known Issues: Some awkward wording, some parts of plot not entirely believable or have bizarre explanations. Critique Requested: Are names and terms of various technology in the novel believable/make sense/understandable? Are action scenes exciting? Is the story too rushed in terms of moving along from one event to another? Is some particular wording poor or awkward-sounding? Do the constant changes in point of view enhance the novel, or just make it annoying? Are some parts of novel unnecessary? Critique Tolerance: Happy to listen to any critique. :) Experience & Goals: First serious novel I've started and finished (only written three short, more comedic novels before when I was very young), hoping to publish it via CreateSpace. Method of Communication: NaNoMail is great. Anything else? Disclaimers? Science of the story isn't totally accurate, but I tried. :/

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

MaraMoser — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 01:02:19 +0800

Hey guys! Ideally I’d like to swap with someone that has something of a vaguely similar genre and length. If you don’t have anything ready at the moment, I can always owe you one. :) Title: The Kinlan Roulette Length, Draft and Language: 69,000 words, third draft, English Brief Summary: Daphne Kinlan was ten years old when she invented the best killing machine in the world. Brutal as it is, no one can deny that the Kinlan Roulette is fair, and it’s done wonders for her overpopulated world. Eight years later, Daphne lives an isolated life in a high-class government apartment with only her bodyguard for company. Then he rescues a prisoner from the Roulette. The punishment for the crime is a public execution that Daphne herself is expected to administer. Instead she gives herself a fake name and she and her bodyguard take the first train to an unknown city. But when she’s disguised as an ordinary girl from the north, Daphne is vulnerable to the Roulette like everyone else. The cozy farming colony they’ve found is more dangerous than it seems, and the government is still looking for her bodyguard. Daphne can’t go back to the government or she will lose the only person who has ever treated her like a human being. But she isn’t sure someone like her belongs anywhere else. Sub Genre & Keywords: YA, post-apocalyptic, fantasyseque and definitely not hard sci-fi. There’s also a character who thinks he’s a cowboy, so…? Known Issues : Ehh, I don’t want to tell you them because I want to see what you notice. :P There shouldn’t be too many/any grammar or spelling problems. Critique Requested : As general or specific as you want. When I beta I generally make comments in the margins and then do an overall write-up for characters, plot, etc. Critique Tolerance : High. Go for it. Experience & Goals : This is my seventh novel. I have no immediate goals besides trying to make it good. Method of Communication: NaNomail me please! I typically send the whole manuscript at once through email, but we can swap the first couple chapters as a sort of test run if you wish. Anything else? It's not explicit but there are sexual situations, violence including that motivated by misogyny, and LGBT themes. Thanks!

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

Cool Author — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 07:05:06 +0800

Title: The Adventures of the Solo Musketeer length, draft, and language: 29473 words, draft 1, English Brief summary: This story takes place in three parts, so far, and each is related to each other in a way. In the first part, a man, Eric King, is unsuspectably thrown into a crime-filled organization named "Superhuman," and is forced to fight for survival against another Superhuman, named The Master. The second part has Eric's parents working as a team, in their teenage years, to overthrow the plans for nuclear war pitting the Under Earth against the Under Earth. The third part is not finished yet, but it's about a boy named Will Jordan who gets associated with a murderer named Pete. (I haven't yet written why.) And it's up to another boy named Conrad to stop them. Sub-genre and key words: sci-fi? Known issues: I'm not sure. Critique requested: Whatever you want. Critique tolerance: Anything. High as the sky. Experience and goals: Well, this is my first novel. I have no goals, except for it to be good. Method of communication: I'm new at this, so I guess nano mail me, and we'll go from there. Anything else: Well, it isn't finished, so it definately will seem uncompleted. There's absolutely NO cursing, unless you count words like 'dang' 'darn' or 'what the heck', things like that. Just tell me whether or not it's good. I'll appreciate the help. THANKS

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

Cool Author — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 07:51:49 +0800

Oh, right. About my book, The Adventures of the Solo Musketeer, i forgot to mention that there's some action, sometimes involving guns, other weapons, fistfights , or Superhumanish abilities, such as fire and electricity being used to fight others. Sorry.

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

RobertLent — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 23:29:37 +0800

[Removed]

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

RobertLent — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 23:11:43 +0800

[Removed]

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

mono ya mono — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 15:28:31 +0800

Title: 'Human Recording Length: 17,000 words. English. Brief Summary. An English teacher for Japanese people in outer-space, deals with his fears, makes friends with an old man, and fights aliens. The novella is less lame than the summary. Sub Genre & Keywords: Sci-Fri, Action, Drama, Alien, Japan, Culture, Known Issues: First half and second half may be too lop-sided in their content? Critique Requested: Anything and Everything. Is it too heavy-handed on the Japanese/Western angle? Is the dialogue (intentionally stilted at times to represent badly-spoken English) annoying? Critique Tolerance: Be as harsh as possible, I'm serious about making this story work. Experience & Goals: 2 years experience writing in my room. Goal: to produce something professional and true. Method of Communication: email, but please contact me here first so I can send a copy of the draft. Anything else? Disclaimers?

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

TheatreLvr08 — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 23:32:43 +0800

Title: Untitled Length, Draft, and Language: Approx. 51,800 words, first full draft (though many parts have been revised numerous times by myself and others), English Brief Summary: Eliza Laraway is dying, In 2033, at twelve years old, she was diagnosed with the Attenuate Virus, a disease that has killed all those afflicted within three years of infection. Nearly three years later, Eliza enters into the final and worst stage of AV, and the doctors have little expectation of finding a cure in time. On her fifteenth birthday, a boy named Jonah Teagan breaks into Eliza's hospital room, claiming to have the cure for AV and guaranteeing her a dose if she comes with him. Figuring that she has nothing to lose, Eliza elects to go. What follows is not only the journey of her life, but the journey to save her life. SubGenra & Keywords: Friendship, death, quest, illness, treatment. Known Issues: Though it being sci-fi and making up AV allow me a lot of medical liberties, I'm sure there are some constants about illness and treatment that I'm messing up. I show rather than tell more frequently than I should. Critiqued Requested: The plot and its pacing, the realism of the dialogue, characters, and reactions to illness and treatments. Any other feedback is welcome, also. Critique Tolerance: Give it to me. Experience & Goals: This is my third completed novel. I would like to publish this someday. Method of Communication: NaNo mail first, then e-mail. Anything else? Disclaimers? I am sorry to write this, but please only take the novel if you're willing to critique it and send it back. It sounds silly, but for the past two years, there has been a person or two that never got back to me at all after receiving my novel. I am perfectly fine with you taking months to read it; I would just like feedback eventually. :)

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

C.Angelina — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 01:40:13 +0800

Title: Eagle's Cry Length, Draft and Language: 78.000 words, theoretically a final draft, English language Brief Summary (not more than 300 words) Mica never wanted to be a hero, but in a world at war she doesn’t have much choice. The dragons are fierce, they are terrifying, and on the ground humans don’t stand a chance. In the air Mica is the best of the best, but even she can’t be everywhere at once. Eagle has nothing left. No memory, no friends, no goal but to head east and keep her freedom. Instead she stumbles onto a military base, gets mistaken for a traitor and condemned to death. Her would-be executioners offer her a fighting chance though, which for Eagle is the equivalent of escape. The Crazies have been trying and failing to continue on without their leader, Mica. Their sacrifice brought hope back to the world, but where do the heroes go after the world no longer needs them? A mysterious girl they were supposed to kill inadvertently sends the Crazies on their last mission, and this time they may be the one most in need of rescuing. Sub Genre & Keywords: Young adult, angels, dragons, the supernatural, Space flight, ect. Known Issues: I've had comments on my writing in general that I need some work on my world-building, but I'm not sure if that's an issue with this story. Critique Requested: Any and all types Critique Tolerance: Please be tough, as I want to get this published. Experience & Goals: Not much experience, but lofty goals. I want to get this published, either traditionally or self, and make a career out of writing Method of Communication: nanomail if interested, email after Anything else? Disclaimers? There is violence, but nothing gratuitous (At least, I don't think so)

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

Cannonball1978 — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 09:04:28 +0800

Title: The Blight (working)  Length, Draft and Language: 50-55k - DRAFT 2 - Eng.  Brief Summary: If the ground stopped rendering edible plants one day and whatever grew became deadly to consume, such a shift in the world’s ecology would be disastrous. Wild animals would perish in droves and food shortages would disrupt society. The unlinking of the food chain would prove an unfixable divorce between florae and fauna and the underpinnings of balance in the world would crumble. The Blight (working title) follows Fletcher and Ramona’s escape from such a pandemic. Surviving remotely in the hills, they grow a quarantined garden with whatever they can scavenge and by whatever means. As they protect their valuable clean soil and plants they are set upon by famine, wild starving animals, a clandestine agenda to cannibalize prisoners, violent gangs of farmers and other barbarisms in the rise of a dystopian survivor’s economy. As they change to survive, their means to adapt take a heavy toll on their relationship.   Sub Genre & Keywords: Science Fiction. Light Horror. Literary Style.  Known Issues: I'm in the middle of a second draft. One of the tertiary characters does not have a heavy enough purpose in the story.  Critique Requested: • I want to know where you stopped reading and why. • I want to know what you think of the writing and what you are taking from the story. • I'm interested in getting the characters to be deeper and more worthy of a reader's investment. • I'd like to know your take on the emotional curve of the story and if the highs and lows are placed well. I'm trying to contrast the lows with some well placed bright moments. • Open to poking holes in the world-building scaffolding.  Critique Tolerance: Borderline punching bag   Experience & Goals: I have no experience writing and editing novels. I have zero interest in fanfic and am hoping to generally stay away from overtly science-fiction-feeling writing that serves the built-out world, as opposed to the world serving the character drama.   Method of Communication: Email, chat, and I don't post anything online to assuage publisher concerns.  Anything else? Disclaimers? I'm halfway through the second draft, so you may start to notice that it takes a dip in quality after the halfway mark and then comes back up near the ending. I feel like I need readers because I'm starting to get book-blindness and need some objective/outside perspective on what I'm cleaning up in the second draft. My writing group isn't helping me because I need some people to read it in book format, not serialized chapters. I'd be happy to swap stories of equal caliber.

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

JohnR617 — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 09:03:55 +0800

Title: The Palindari Length, Draft and Language: Currently 200k, a third of the way thru 2nd draft, English Brief Summary (not more than 300 words) In 2018, a sociopathic serial killer is tricked into enlisting into a newly formed supernatural army of Satan – the Gibborim. An arrogant young computer code writer, CEO of a corporation within the military industrial complex, has developed the virtual reality technology necessary for this to happen. An ambitious and successful political blogger begins a personal quest to find out and expose the same technology used in convincing death row inmates in foregoing appeals and concluding their sentencing. An unassuming oilfield worker falls to a tragic accident only to be inducted into the opposing force created, after the Great Flood, by the Archangels themselves – the Palindari. Eden has been transformed into a training ground. Overseen by the Angels and administered by the cadre of Saints, the Palindari corps is being readied for a new fight as the Fallen Angels have learned to circumvent the greatest gift God gave to man - free will. Have you lived your life to be an inductee? Sub Genre & Keywords: Fantasy/Sci-Fi Known Issues: Structure, layout, run sentences - the lot. Critique Requested: Grammatical errors abound - Honest overview of composition and flow. Critique Tolerance: High. I believe in the story, but I feel this needs polishing BIG TIME. Experience & Goals: Have written short stories all my life. First time getting serious. This is the first book of three. If successful the other two will be written. Method of Communication: Will need an email address so I can grant access to my Box account (cloud storage service) where you can have access to all 46 chapters. Anything else? Disclaimers? It is graphic at times, strong language (as needed) and a bit over written :)

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

Yukinara — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 15:09:11 +0800

Title: Fallen Star Story: The Exile Length: 62,000 words, Draft: 2nd Language: English Brief Summary: Life has been peaceful for Kai, a seventeen-year-old living on a deserted island, until one day, catastrophe strikes his home. Separated from his beautiful masters, Kai becomes a mercenary and travels through the galaxy to find his beloved. Fighting through many hopeless battles, he must do everything to survive and reunite with them. Along the way, he meets new friends, faces dangerous enemies, and discovers a whole new world. This is an epic, futuristic fantasy story about a young boy who goes against unimaginable odds to discover his true feelings and identity. Sub Genre & Keywords: space opera, action, adventure, romance, young adult. Known Issues: tell, not show, word usage, not enough description Critique Requested: what work and what doesn't. Story flow, awkward and unnatural dialogue Critique Tolerance: honestly. I appreciate all kinds of feedback. Experience & Goals: Method of Communication: email, skype or any kind of instant messaging. Anything else? Disclaimers? None. This is a young adult novel so it's safe.

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

Jip — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 08:21:11 +0800

Title: Shadow of the Bloodlust Length, Draft and Language: 60,000 + (Work in progress and about a quarter of the way through the story)/Draft 1/English Brief Summary: Anna Page had ended up on the streets of dystopic Arkarius from a young age. It was tough being a kid, but when she is recruited by a mystery saviour, her life is turned upside as she realises there is a lurking terror in the slums of Arkarius far greater than your average vagrant would face. Her employer exposes her to a world of cybernetic, drug induced horror, and she become part of a crack team of mercenaries that deal with these terrors fuelled by revenge and hatred. However, when things go awry, it's up to Anna to continue the legacy, reform the team and deal with a new threat that is emerging on the streets. Sub Genre & Keywords: Action/Horror Known Issues: It's a first draft, so obviously there will be error. I'm basically looking for readability and whether the story draws you in. I think it might take too long to get to the actual story, but there is a lot of background of the main character that needs to be developed. Critique Requested: Do you like it? Can you empathise with the main character? What impression do you get of the setting? Critique Tolerance: I'll take anything, but if you tell me that you don't like it, tell me why. :D Be honest. Experience & Goals: This is a rewrite of a book I had ready for publication, but I pulled it at the last minute knowing I could do better. The novel is about 11 years in the making and has changed format so many times! Method of Communication: E-mail Anything else? Disclaimers? It's an adult novel and contains adult concepts. It's got swearing, rape, drug use and lots of other naughty things. It's not finished, but it is all planned out and has clear direction and plot. I need to know that whether the first few chapters are strong enough to draw the reader in, or if I should go with something else.

Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

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Re: [Science Fiction] Request for Readers

shaunchattey — Tue, 01 May 2012 00:47:17 +0800

Title: Emancipation Computation Length, Draft and Language: 2000 words so far Brief Summary: Fred is thrust into a world of social strife, alien life and robotics as humans and aliens begin to grate on each others principles and ways of life. Sub Genre & Keywords: Known Issues: Current writing is non-concecutive excerpts from what will be a finished story. It's the first full story I will be writing, though hopefully not the last. Critique Requested: Critique Tolerance: Experience & Goals: No experience, Goals are to finish he story for consumption of friends and loved ones. My writing is insufficient at best for a commercial sale ;) Method of Communication: Email Anything else? Disclaimers? Very early draft, mainly exploring characters and concepts. Thanks for any input!