[Mystery, Thriller, & Suspense] Requests for Readers

Please use this thread to find a reader for your novel! When posting, please remember to use the Template as listed in the sticky thread at the top of this forum! PLEASE read the guidelines before posting... not reading the guidelines results in unnecessary questions and the possibility your request will be ignored.

Please use the preview option when posting. At this time, there is no ability to edit, so what you post WILL stay as is.

Post your request here for your readers. It does not have to be for the novel you wrote for National Novel Writing Month. (If you are interested in something posted here DO NOT respond in this thread, send the poster a NaNoMail.)

Do NOT contact someone about reading their novel if you have no intention of providing feedback.

Copy and Paste Template:

Title:
Length, Draft and Language:
Brief Summary (not more than 300 words)
Sub Genre & Keywords:
Known Issues:

Critique Requested:
Critique Tolerance:

Experience & Goals:
Method of Communication:
Anything else? Disclaimers?

[Removed]

Title: Boy Detective
Length, Draft and Language: 64k, VERY ROUGH Nano-first-draft, English
Brief Summary:
Colin would much rather be Nancy Drew than a university student. Conveniently enough, someone else would rather be the villain. Items are going missing from Colin's hall, and it's the perfect chance to play detective. But the thief is toying with him, and some people seem to think that he's the culprit. Things go wrong, his romantic life gets overly confusing, there is blackmail and kidnapping and drunken stupidity. Is Colin even sensible enough to solve this mystery instead of making everything worse?

Sub Genre:
Humour. Does YA apply to university settings?

Keywords:
university, gay romance (sort of)

Known Issues:
So, so many. It kind of turned into "a bunch of random things happening" as opposed to...a plot...and there are also a lot of story threads I either forgot about, didn't get around to, or lost interest in, so they come up once and never again and are probably extremely confusing. I think I forgot about practically everything at some point, and I rushed through any explanations I actually did write because of memory/attention span/time constraints. BE WARNED.

Critique Requested:
I'm a bit more interested in what you want developed further/where you want the story to go rather than having the stuff I didn't develop sufficiently pointed out (because I didn't sufficiently develop anything...). But I'm definitely still interested in any input, apart from typos/grammar (can find that myself for now). I may also have some really random questions I'd like you to answer.

Critique Tolerance:
Can tolerate anything; keep in mind that if I edit this I'll probably take it apart completely. You're encouraged to tell me to slaughter my main characters, tell the story in reverse order, add random new subplots in place of others, etc.

Experience & Goals:
I've written a fair few novels and this is certainly not the high point of my work, hah. I don't plan to pursue publication for it but I'd like to edit it just for fun.

Method of Communication:
Nanomail, then exchange of emails from there.

Anything else?
Lots of gratuitous profanity! Seriously, don't read this if you're likely to be bothered by that sort of thing. Also sex. And first person. And idiot characters.

Title: Totally According To Plan

Length, Draft and Language: First draft of whole piece, but second draft of what went in that piece. (See expert for writing style). English language. The first portion of the draft is 38k words.

Brief Summary (not more than 300 words):

A federal agent is kidnapped while working undercover and is sold to human traffickers. He must try and survive in a world that is totally unknown to him.

A fifteen-year-old is trying to survive being abducted by human traffickers. Having been sold by his father two years ago he just hopes to get out "someday." After the two-year date, though, he just hopes to survive.

Joshua Martin is a federal agent. He'd always hated Colby Mohegan until he worked a case with him. He still didn't like Colby after that. And then... his partner went missing. And he had to find him.

(Better synopsis on profile).


Sub Genre & Keywords: Mystery. No keywords that I can think of.

Known Issues:
Right now I have no middle plot. I'd like to know what I have now is solid before moving on and establishing a firm middle plot. The book deals with human trafficking, gay men and domestic violence towards men, so if you aren't comfortable with those subjects, it's probably best that you don't read it. There is also some violence in the book. I'm not that great at writing torture; though...

Critique Requested: Anything and everything. Right now I have no middle plot. I really need a good, solid, firm grip on my beginning before I move on. Just... Anything.

Critique Tolerance: As long as you aren't out and out insulting me, I'm fine. I have pretty thick skin.

Experience & Goals: I've been writing fanfiction for years but this is my second attempt at "real" fiction. A sample of my fanfiction can be found at my pen name known as Writer With Sprite. I have fairly decent grammar in most places. I'm a freelance writer.

Method of Communication: Please email writeandknow (at) gmail (dot) com or nano mail me.

Anything else? Disclaimers?

Be warned. It's a first draft. While the spelling and grammar are 95% fine there ARE some things that are going to need... completely rearranged.

Thanks in advance...

Title: "write place wrong times"
Length, Draft and Language: English, the whole novel is 50,555
Brief Summary (not more than 300 words):
A series of interconnected misadventures push a freelance writer/retail worker, and his wife, into becoming conspiracy theorists in the span of one week,
Sub Genre & Keywords: Thriller
Known Issues: I don't name too many characters. Things might be too obvious for my liking.

Critique Requested: Anything is fine
Critique Tolerance: I've been writing for print media for 17 years and have developed a pretty thick skin,

Experience & Goals:I've been writing for print media for 17 years and would like to branch out into another media.
Method of Communication:email, start with nanonamail
Anything else? Disclaimers?
I just rushed through it so there might be a some typos. While there is neither profanity or sex, if you are emotionally trapped into the designed paradigm, you will find something that offends you.

Title: Down By The river
Length, Draft and Language: about 100 words over 50k, first NaNo draft, English
Brief Summary (not more than 300 words)
"A day in a suburban Pennsylvania town turns dangerous when a local woman is found shot near her husband's construction site and a child is found dead in the woods. When Neil Mullen is found at the scene of the crime with his wife's body and the only pieces evidence incriminate him, he's taken into custody on the spot. Lieutenant Joshua Haight, their next-door neighbor, takes the case on reluctantly as Nancy, Neil's wife, lies in a coma in the hospital. She wakes up to find her husband could be given the death penalty for one count of murder and one count of attempted murder. She and the lieutenant race to answer two questions: Is her husband a killer? And if not him, then who?"

Sub Genre & Keywords: Modern Fiction, Suspense
Known Issues: Plot inconsistencies, frequent POV changes

Critique Requested: Anything from locating the inconsistencies to a review of the clarity and credibility of the plot as it progresses.
Critique Tolerance: I can handle criticism but strongly encourage constructive criticism concerning both form and content.
Experience & Goals: This is my first NaNoWriMo, but I have been studying communication and journalism for 2 years now and have some experience with writing both fiction and nonfiction. I plan to revise and edit this novel fully.

Method of Communication: Email and NaNoMail preferred
Anything else? Disclaimers? As with other NaNo works, the editing process has only just begun, and you would be looking at completely unreviewed content with this book, so expect something rough! However I am very proud of my work and I do think that I have created a very stimulating, engaging read, and I appreciate anyone thinking of testing it out and helping me get it to the level of a smart, structured work of literature!

Title: Ryan Ferring: Book One
Length, Draft and Language: 61k, 1 (but two if you don't hurry, since revising will begin soon), English

Brief Summary (not more than 300 words)

Ryan is a normal American teen. His life goes on in a mundane rut. Gabriel is a planner, a torturer, and a revolutionary. Ryan wants his life to change; Gabriel wants the world to. My aversion to spoilers makes me want to end here. If you want a better idea, I'd be willing to send you the prologue without any commitment.

Sub Genre & Keywords: Terrorism, America, attacks
Known Issues: Full of typos since I did 90% of the writing on my iPod. A section or two may be out of order or missing, but so far I haven't heard that any are.

Critique Requested: Whatever you'll give me! Short opinion, list of likes and dislikes, massive critique detailing all my flaws, everything helps.
Critique Tolerance: Honest. Don't be rude, but don't sugarcoat it.

Experience & Goals: I started creative writing in April due to some teenage heartbreak, but never exceeded four thousand words in anything I wrote. This is by far the longest thing I've ever written.
Method of Communication: I can give you an email address if you want, but it's all the same to me as far as text-based communications go. No Facebook though; something impersonal.

Anything else? Disclaimers? Awesomeness may melt your face off. Just kidding. Maybe if you don't like terrorism or it upsets you; it's the central point of the book.

Title: The Fear of Cats

Length, Draft and Language: 50K-70K, draft 3, English

Brief Summary (not more than 300 words)
A small town detective with a phobia of cats, a family that puts the fun in dysfunctional, attempts to solve his first murder case.

Sub Genre & Keywords: It's a bit of a cozy mystery.

Known Issues:
Description, pacing, and transitions.

Critique Requested:
The actual writing, like diction and such, and the above things.

Critique Tolerance:
High. My skin weights fifty lbs, just because of it's thickness.

Experience & Goals:
I've been writing for a few years, nothing professional. Would like to get this published eventually.

Method of Communication: E-mail.

Anything else? Disclaimers?
I absolutely love cats, but my MC has a deep hatred and fear of them.

I'm willing to beta read for you as well. I like swapping. I have broad interests.

.

Title: Pinion

Length, Draft and Language: A little over 55k, first draft, English

Brief Summary (not more than 300 words)
Alex Harding, guitarist for the infamous industrial band Psychonautics, has gone missing. His band mates team up with the police in a desperate search to find their friend, although it seems as if no one knows where he's gone.

Well, someone knows. But they aren't telling.

Sub Genre & Keywords: Erotic fiction, suspense, music

Known Issues: A lack of knowledge when it comes to mental disorders, the Californian law system, and general police conduct when it comes to missing persons.

Critique Requested: What you think should be added/taken away to make the story more consistent and interesting. I'd like to know where I make mistakes with character names, point of view, etc. Anything else you'd like to add.

Critique Tolerance: Medium-high. I like honesty and can handle having my mistakes pointed out to me.

Experience & Goals: This is my first real attempt at original fiction and at writing a full-length novel. I plan to rewrite the entire story, and then I'd like to get it published.

Method of Communication: Nano mail first, then email.

Anything else? Disclaimers?
There's a lot of graphic description of sex, torture, and rampant homosexuality. Read at your own discretion. (:

Title: Unknown (working title)

Length, Draft and Language: 45 453 words, second draft, English

Brief Summary: The story is about a girl who disappears in the summer 1988. Her body is found 20 years later. The story is told by the family members and other people who were close to the missing person and in the epilogue the missing person herself will talk about her life and decisions as well. The story is not really a thriller, it is more like telling about a lifestory of one kind.

Sub Genre & Keywords: New York City, missing person, friendship, adventure, hitchhiking

Known Issues: English is not my first language so grammar is probably the biggest issue for me. Also, I am slighty worried about the story being too complicated or if it has too many or too few characters.

Critique Requested: Is the plot really working out? Is the story interesting at all? Is the protagonist or other characters type of people a reader cares about? Is there something too much or too little in the story? Is the story believable at all? Also, I have never been in USA so I would really appreciate it if the mistakes I've probably made in geographic things would be pointed out, too. Really, any kind of cricitism is highly appreciated and warmly welcomed!

Critique Tolerance: A constructive criticism is always welcomed :)

Experience & Goals: This is my third NaNo novel but I have written all kinds of fiction pretty much all my life. My goal for this story is to be able to share it with my English-speaking friends and that they could understand and maybe even enjoy the story :) I have no strick deadline for this work.

Method of Communication: NaNomail is fine - and maybe e-mail later on :)

Anything else? Disclaimers? There is nothing too graphic or gore in this story but it handles things like death, suicidal thoughts, going missing and stuff like that.

Thank you so much!

Length: Almost 30,000 words
Draft: Second
Language: English

300 Words or Less Summary: How would you react to looking in the mirror and seeing a face that wasn’t yours? Finding hair that belonged to anyone but you and the body of someone else entirely? AJ almost threw up after having a panic attack. Not to mention the entire past week has been erased from her memory, her psychotic ex suddenly comes into the picture, and a so-called “guardian angel” appears at her side to help her get her face back. Who in the world could have stolen her face and why? And what does her dead brother have to do with it all?

Keywords & Sub Genre(s): Angels, Demons, Ex-boyfriends

Known Issues: I can tend to be wordy and overly describe things.

Critique Requested: Anything you see that doesn't fit or mesh well.

Critique Tolerance: Bring it. I may not be happy to hear that something in my novel isn't right, but I'll get over it. Constructive crit is better than lies.

Experience & Goals: This is my…third real novel. And also my shortest.

Method of Communication: I strongly, strongly prefer to use email because it’s easier.

Disclaimers: There’s a touch of profanity and a bit of graphic violence, but not a ton.

Thanks for your interest (:

Title: The Silent Treatment

Length, Draft and Language: 46k words, nearly last draft, English

Brief Summary (not more than 300 words):
While rebuilding her life after escaping an abusive boyfriend, twenty-five-year-old Kat Shergill doesn't expecting to find a piece of forgotten movie history during a bout of retail therapy. But there it is: a coil of long-lost silent film tucked inside an antique from an estate sale. Unfortunately, Peter, the handsome host of the sale, disappears before Kat has a chance to return it to him.

Curious, Kat watches the strip at the University of Memphis. She's shocked to witness the brutal murder of a famous 1920's star by a fellow actor. Against Kat's wishes, the head of the department alerts the media about her valuable discovery, though Kat intentionally omits the violent ending on his digital copy. Although she has no way of contacting Peter, who she keeps thinking about, guilt at being unable to return the piece, and unwillingness to reveal her idol, Frederic Schiller, as a murderer gnaws at her.

After a news article cites Kat as the film's owner, Peter intends to ask her for the polite return of his heirloom—Schiller was his grandfather. However, her call center job keeps her out of the apartment so long Peter risks breaking into her place; public attention would call attention to Peter, who is in hiding from his abusive father. Kat and Peter unite to retrieve the film from the university archives and steal back the duplicate.

Sub Genre & Keywords - silent film, abuse, murder

Known Issues - this draft has already been critiqued and edited a few times

Critique Requested - wanting to self-publish this book soon, but not before I know it's as good as it can be. Please mark anything - plot, characters, line-by-line.

Critique Tolerance - interested in a good final copy, just be tactful ;)

Experience & Goals - I've written multiple novels -- there's actually another in the series after this one. I have queried a few agents and publishers, but nothing came of it.

Method of Communication - email is the best way to get me ... i like comments within the document instead of tracking.

Anything else? Disclaimers (violence, strong language, graphic sex, etc.) Mention turnaround time for feedback if you have any deadlines.
Some language, some violence, but nothing excessive.

Thanks :)

So exactly how do you do this?

Title: Jasper City
Length, Draft and Language: Just over 100K, first draft, English
Brief Summary (not more than 300 words) A man and his family, wronged by the post-apocalyptic dystopia in which they reside, decide to take down the corrupt Mayor. The Mayor, in turn, sends his second in command to stop them. Things get complicated from there.
Sub Genre & Keywords: Thriller/suspense, post-apocalyptic, Dystopia
Known Issues: There are a few appendices at the end that will very likely be cut out. Two characters (little twin girls) need some fleshing out, which I am currently working on.

Critique Requested: Please bring up any issues that you find, and advice on the above known issues, if you have any, would be appreciated.
Critique Tolerance: As harsh as you see fit.

Experience & Goals: This is my second finished manuscript. I'm in the process of editing the first, with the goal of having both ready for publication by the end of the year.
Method of Communication: Email me at kgasbarro [at] gmail [dot] com.
Anything else? Disclaimers?: Strong language and violence, especially that directed at small children.
Thanks in advance to anyone who picks this up! Normally I'd let it breathe a bit more, but I'm too fond of this story to put it down. I'll still need some fresh eyes though.

Title: Quintin Blackwell
Length, Draft and Language: 31 thousand something words, english, but warning there is a bit of french thrown in too, but not much
Brief Summary (not more than 300 words)The detective committed the crime he's solving? How can it be? Was it really him, is it someone else? Twisty, and influenced by the works of Edgar Allen Poe, The Sherlock Holmes adventures and The Strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
Quintin Blackwell has a dark and ominous past and it seems to be coming back to him wanting revenge. That's just the half of it though, the good half. Quintin has a so called condition that when intoxicated by a specific substance, Quintin takes on a whole different persona. Two minds one body, like they say two heads are better then one, but when one mind is insane and the other sane, I'm not too sure if that statement applies. Quintin's other half goes only by Quintin's last name, Blackwell. He smokes, he drinks, he fells no pain, he is a cockney, and not to mention he has NO sense of right and wrong. Blackwell may get hurt, but Quintin feels all the pain, the two communicate through thought mostly. Then bad becomes manageable and then becomes inevitably worse. Murders start to occur in London, each one connecting to Quintin Blackwell the armature detective with a dark side.
Sub Genre & Keywords: Mystery, Horror, Science Fiction, Adventure, Thriller, (maybe even fantasy)
Known Issues: I can't spell, there may be some grammer issuses, the point of view (i think) jumps around a lot ( i think i like it that way though) some other stuff, the ending kind of cuts off (hope you like cliffhangers!) I don't know if what I saw clearly in my head was actually just as clear to someone reading it

Critique Requested: I need to know if people will like this, any mistake found would be helpfull to me
Critique Tolerance: anything, I want to here it (just don't crush me) thanks

Experience & Goals: Uh basically nill.....This is my first draft of my first manuscript, ever Goals: I would like to publish someday when I'm older
Method of Communication: Email: trumpeter13@comcast.net
Anything else? Disclaimers?
Violence, perhaps strong language, not for small childern, P-13 to maybe even R, Um, don't even ask me 'What is wrong with Quint?' I couldn't even tell you (I don't even know) and if it's not to much troble please tell me who you like better Quintin or Blackwell.

P.S. I really wanted the reader to think they fiqured it out and then have them question if they did or not. It's really so that they may or may not find out all the answers before the detective. I think that it's like you're standing there and he's kind of withhold information because of his own safety and because he wants you to figure it all out on your own. Basically your the third person Watson to his Holmes kind of. (I wanted people to really get sucked into the book and to connect) Enjoy :)

Title: BOOK LOVERS (extract on author page)

Length, Draft and Language: 236K (Sorry about the length. It started life as two books and refused to split.). Copy-edited. Theoretically finished and being sent to agents. English. Happy to swap manuscripts. See 'Anything else' below.

Brief Summary (not more than 300 words)
Emotionally scarred by the death of her husband, Sussex-based researcher Meg Ian is confused by her unlikely attraction to Frenchman Marcus Dee after an apparently chance meeting. That it involves the book ‘Justine’ by the Marquis de Sade only increases her confusion. Worse, she thinks he might be a sadist, a suspicion seemingly confirmed when Marcus attempts to persuade her to use what appears to be a bondage device he calls the star. Panic-stricken, she flees from him.

Later, Meg encounters Marcus with his new partner, Justine. Instigated by Justine, a friendship develops between the two women. Torn between fear for Justine’s safety and her suspicion that Marcus is using their friendship to draw her back to him, Meg employs private investigator Jules to help her research Marcus’ background. Unable to tell what is real and what is manipulation, Meg finds that each new discovery serves only to increase her emotional and intellectual confusion. She is aware she is being changed, but doesn’t know how or how much. Then someone tries to kill her and she realises that to survive at all, she will have to betray those she’s come to love most.

Not so much a whodunnit as a who’s-doing-what-to-whom, Book Lovers is a mystery. Well, it's a mystery to me. Several mysteries. It's kinda complicated. If you like twists, you might enjoy it.

Sub Genre & Keywords: mainstream, love story (NOT romance),

Known Issues: Kind of cross genre. Everyone who has finished reading it at various stages has placed it firmly in the mystery category - so far - BUT it has been also been suggested it might be Sci-Fi, erotica or romance, However, the science isn't fictional, nor a major part of the actual story (don't be put off). There is a fair amount of (not graphic or 'anatomical') sex, for highly relevant reasons (honest!). If you've read the Stieg Larsson Dragon Tattoo/Millennium triology, it's much tamer than some of the content in them (great books though). Despite the opening of the synopsis, there is definitely no S&M. While there are several love stories entwined in it, they're not exactly romantic.

Critique Requested: I'd like to know: A) how readable is it? and B) what genre do you think it is? Read as much as you want, stop when you want. As long as you let me know the answer to B), and which page you stopped reading at and why (if you did), I'll be happy. Anything more will be a welcome bonus.

Critique Tolerance: Previously worked in marketing. I'm used to being insulted by experts.

Experience & Goals: Fair amount of non-fiction and copywriting experience. Ditto proofreading. Some copyediting, including fiction that's been published. Main goal is to get this book published in the right place. First in a series.

Method of Communication: initially by NaNomail, then by email.

Anything else?: Am looking for as many readers as want to give it a go. Target market is women 30+ who like mysteries, but story has also appealed to slightly younger women and one male aged 30. Within broad limits, I'm happy to return the favour, up to and including proofreading and copyediting, for several writers in this genre or the mainstream category, subject to seeing opening chapters and synopsis/summary.

Disclaimers?: Adults only (min 18+). Some sexual content & small amount of swearing. If either might offend or discomfort, please don't read it.

Title: Visits

Length, Draft and Language: 78K words, first NaNo draft, English

Brief Summary:
Tony Lansing has just killed a young woman.
He’d never killed anyone before even though there have been plenty of people who’ve crossed his path who deserved it. He’d just never had the nerve. For sixty years, it had always been easier to turn tail and run.
Until now.
Now he knows that he can stand up for himself. He knows that he doesn’t need to take everything that life dishes out. He can push back. He can get even.
And it feels so good.
So he makes a list of all the people in his life who’ve done him wrong. His ex-wife, a former lover or two, an old friend ... they all make the list.
But as Tony pays unexpected and very unwelcome visits to old acquaintances, he learns that getting even has a price. A price much higher than he’s willing to pay.


Sub Genre & Keywords: Thriller, Murder, Revenge, possibly Mystery although the identity of the killer is known from page 1

Known Issues: Pacing.

Critique Requested: Anything ... let me have it. Anything that can help me get this ready for self-publishing is welcome.

Critique Tolerance: Anything I need to hear but if it’s really bad, try to let me down easy.

Experience & Goals: This is my first novel and hopefully not the last.

Method of Communication: Nanomail to start; email after.

Anything else? Disclaimers? Not appropriate for younger readers. Some swearing and violence.

Title: Headache

Length, Draft and Language: 46K, completed (?), English

Brief Summary (not more than 300 words)

Katie, a college student, has found a murder confession in her used textbook. The female victim disappeared six months earlier while jogging through a neighboring area, and nobody can think of a reason why she'd leave on her own or someone would want to kidnap her. Katie has been arrested for minor infractions in the past, and is afraid of the police, so she doesn't report what she knows. Instead, she tries to figure out who wrote the confession and why they killed the missing student, without telling even her best friend what she's doing.

Sub Genre & Keywords: missing person, college

Known Issues: I've asked a few friends to read my novel, but work/kids/college seem to get in the way. Or maybe they've started my novel, realized that it stinks, and are being kind to me? Either way, nobody besides me has finished reading my novel, so I don't know if there are any issues.

Critique Requested: Anything constructive would be appreciated :)

Critique Tolerance: I want to know what you really think!

Experience & Goals: This is my first novel.

Method of Communication: NaNoMail

Anything else? Disclaimers? I guess my novel would be rated as PG. There's no sex or profanity, but Katie's no angel, either :)

Title: Exchange (working title only)

Length, Draft and Language: ~40k, 2nd draft, English (and a little bit of German, but you don't have to understand it)

Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): Kat has gone on an exchange trip to Germany with her college class, and happens to run into her ex boyfriend. After rekindling with him, but being whisked away, she's afraid she doesn't have a chance with him. However, he shows up in her hotel room, telling her she's in danger, and takes her to a safe place. When she comes out, he's gone -- someone wants her to know he's been kidnapped.

Sub Genre & Keywords: Amateur detective, Bavaria, Kidnapping, American college students in Europe

Known Issues: it's the 2nd draft. the basic structure is there, but it needs a lot of polishing. Also, this is the second in a series, and I need to know what someone would need to know if they haven't read the first one (because we don't always read in order, do we?). Pointing out any questions regarding backstory would be really appreciated.

Critique Requested: content -- minimal copy editing, if any

Critique Tolerance: as long as it's constructive and not rude, I'm okay with it. I am much more okay with you saying you're bored at a certain place and telling me what lost your interest than struggling through the whole thing and leaving annoyed comments that do neither of us any good.

Experience & Goals: I have a novel and several short stories published. Interested in continuing this.

Method of Communication: email works best -- will give it to interested people who nano-mail me.

Anything else? Disclaimers? I have not had much luck finding readers in the age group I'm actually targeting -- need someone 20-40 y/o. male/female doesn't matter.