[YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

Dragonchilde — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 23:33:32 -0600

Please use this thread to find a reader for your novel! When posting, please remember to use the Template as listed in the sticky thread at the top of this forum! PLEASE read the guidelines before posting... not reading the guidelines results in unnecessary questions and the possibility your request will be ignored. Please use the preview option when posting. At this time, there is no ability to edit, so what you post WILL stay as is. Post your request here for your readers. It does not have to be for the novel you wrote for National Novel Writing Month. (If you are interested in something posted here DO NOT respond in this thread, send the poster a NaNoMail.) Do NOT contact someone about reading their novel if you have no intention of providing feedback. Copy and Paste Template: Title: Length, Draft and Language: Brief Summary (not more than 300 words) Sub Genre & Keywords: Known Issues: Critique Requested: Critique Tolerance: Experience & Goals: Method of Communication: Anything else? Disclaimers?

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

GabrielleLaRue — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 05:42:21 -0600

Title - (Skyways) On Length, Draft and Language - About 45kish; First/Mid-Second Draft; English; First Person partial stream-of-consciousness Brief Summary - Gabriel Reinhart has always had anxiety attacks. Because of these, he's never had many friends and copes with the loneliness by trying to escape through drugs, music, and maybe even death. Can a new girl, Megan, save him? Or will she cause more trouble? Can his best friends Prosper and Kayden protect him from his own mind? Or will he have to save himself? Sub Genre & Keywords - Escape, teenagers, music, bands, guitar, piano, drugs, Xanax, Vicodin, alcohol, life, depression Known Issues - A little bit of lost plot, perhaps some characters aren't focused on enough. Also a lot to do with me being highly inexperienced with drugs and alcohol (therefore inconsistent possibly), and the fact that I am not a guy and not positive on how the male mind works. Potential British spelling. Critique Requested - I would like to know how the story is in general, the emotion and steam-of-consciousness, character development, and language used. I often write for British characters and am largely in the habit of it, so sometimes it sneaks into American characters' stories. In addition, I sometimes use a larger vocabulary than a normal teenager would, as my brother noted (though I'm a teenager myself), though I feel Gabey here is a little poetic. Just use your discretion Critique Tolerance - Tell me the truth. Tear it apart. This is my baby--as is the main character--but it needs to grow up, and I need to let it go. Experience & Goals - This is my third novel; someday I do hope to publish. In fact, this is the only one being set up for publishing Method of Communication - Email is probably best; just NaNoMail me and I'll give it to you/email it to you. Other option suggestions welcome. Anything else? Please excuse my product placement; I just don't want to approve of certain products so I want to be very clear they aren't there. This wasn't for NaNo. Strong language, suicide, drugs; Intended for a teenage audience, but not a weak one. Make no mistake, this is NOT NOT NOT a children's book. It is meant to bring up mental issues and teenage depression. It is meant to be a little gross and painful to read (not in the, er, Twilight way... more in the 1984-Miniluv way...not suggesting I'm Orwell at all, just to be clear, haha). My brother's one of the few people who has read and and said a few lines were really, really harsh, but that's the way it should be. In short, Gabe has a crazy little mind, so don't freak out if you look into it. Thanks!

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

TortugaRachel — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 06:50:11 -0600

Title: Thief of Dreams Length, Draft and Language: just over 50K words, in English Brief Summary: at end of post Sub Genre: Adventure, maybe Historical Fiction Keywords: murder, intrigue, irony Known Issues: I use a lot of alliteration, which some people find hard to deal with, and a lot of adverbs and adjectives. Critique Requested: anything you feel you specialize in, I'll take all the help I can get Critique Tolerance: tear it apart! Experience & Goals: This is my first novel and I would like to submit it for publication, eventually Method of Communication: E-mail is my preference, and I will send a copy in electronic format (please specify preference of format - .doc, .docx, .pdf, etc.) Anything else? Disclaimers? Seriously, tear the thing apart, make it bleed and cry out in anguish please SYNOPSIS: Lady Catherine gives birth to a son, the product of an illicit rendezvous and her father orders the infant killed. A servant steals the baby away to raise it away from the nobility but is killed in the process. The baby is found and adopted by an inventor and his wife and raised as their own, as just another commoner. The truth of his heritage is discovered and his family flees to avoid being broken apart. The family is tricked into returning to their hometown where the parents are imprisoned. The truth of the betrayal is discovered and the noble child decides to take up his rightful position as heir. As part of his new duties, he must travel the realm and mingle with the commoners under a presumed identity so he can become aware of the needs of the people. During one of his travels, he meets and falls in love with a beautiful girl. Around this time, a gang of bandits has heightened their threats to the peace, menacing travelers and hijacking merchant caravans. The nobles hire hunters to track and find the leader of the bandits. During a botched robbery, the location of the bandit compound is discovered by a pair of fugitives. The bandit queen learns of this and sets a trap for the fugitives. The trap goes off wrong and innocent people are killed, leading to the bandit queen’s arrest and execution. It isn’t until the evidence that the sentence has been carried out is presented to the nobles that the young lord discovers the bandit queen is the woman he fell in love with.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

MariaElaine — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 11:29:55 -0600

Title: Another Chance Length, Draft and Language: About 52,000 words Brief Summary : Seth, a recent high school graduate from the Bronx, lands the job of a lifetime. He becomes an assistant gardener at a mansion in Oyster Bay Cove. At the end of the summer, Seth is invited to move into the servants' quarters. His life takes a turn for the better until he is overcome by temptation and steals from his employer. He is arrested and, after a hasty plea bargain, spends time in jail. Seth must then rebuild his life and come to terms with himself. Sub Genre & Keywords: Troubled teens, jail Known Issues: I can't think of any. Critique Requested: Please critique the plot, specifically, mc's motivation for stealing. Critique Tolerance: Any. I want the truth. I can take a beating. Experience & Goals: I've written 2 novels and co-authored one. Method of Communication: NaNoMail me.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

32AurorA05 — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 14:13:02 -0600

Title: 80 Divisions Length, Draft and Language: 54,300 words, First Draft, English Brief Summary: It's at the end of the post. :D Sub Genre & Keywords: Horror, Fantasy, Mythology... Known Issues: Inconsistency errors Critique Requested: Anything's fine. Critique Tolerance: I don't care. :D Experience & Goals: I don't have much experience. x3 I've written a lot of fanfiction, and have written a few other random things. I write like... every day. x3 Method of Communication: Email. Brief Summary: Nobody ever went farther than the first room. The house had a certain ominous feeling about it that made people turn around immediately. But what happens when three sophomores from the local high school make it past the first room? What is in this house? Unfortunately, making it out with their soul intact will be more difficult than they thought. Inside the house is one of the most frequently used entrances to Hell, without dying, of course. Luckily, they've only got three divisions to get through. But when you're dealing with Hell, three divisions is sometimes too much. Another problem? The devil doesn't seem like too bad of a guy, despite the fact that he keeps all 'children' - or, anyone twenty-three or younger - near him, and the fact that he stabs people when he gets annoyed. Communication is getting tough as well, when two of them don't know sign language and the other one is mute. And somewhat self-absorbed, and seems to always know the answer to everything. Not to mention the fact that he's the one that practically led them to Hell. Somehow, they gain a guide that knows way too much about Hell to be normal. Oh, and did anyone mention the fact that he was a mass murderer when he was alive? No? Well, there's that too. Not to mention werewolves and a certain boy in Division 80 who can control you for up to three hours at a time. Who's on their side? Have they been betrayed? Did they do something wrong, will they be able to get out? How many times can you die before it gets unhealthy?

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

Joselyn — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 19:43:27 -0600

Title: Deathwalker Length, Draft and Language: Approx 108K, First Draft, in English Brief Summary: Olivia's life comes to an abrupt end when a run-in with a mugger in the park leaves her with a bullet in her chest. She finds herself transported to an afterlife just as dangerous and unpredictable as the real world. It is an ever-changing universe that she soon realizes she has touched in her dreams - a universe where she can be killed just as easily as she was before. But not everyone who dies is left in this afterlife. In fact, Olivia discovers that she is one of a few souls who has ended up there - along with Paul, an innate fighter and survivor who died over 800 years ago, and the rest of his little gang of departed souls. They are no closer to understanding their purpose in this afterlife than Olivia is. But, haunted by voices on the wind and the face of a ghostly child, Olivia may come to understand why she is there - and what she needs to do to escape it. Sub Genre & Keywords - Speculative, Adventure, Romance Known Issues - As far as the writing itself goes, I know it is a little too wordy, and I know I tend to fall back on cliches a little too much (just in the writing, not in terms of plot - so, cliches like 'the shock hit her like a sledgehammer' or 'ice blue eyes') Critique Requested - Plot and Character, mostly, as general or in-depth as you want to go. Anything else that stick out to you. Critique Tolerance - Any and all! I can take it :D Experience & Goals - This is my fifth completed novel, and would like to publish eventually. It is likely, after getting some initial feedback, that I will rewrite. Method of Communication - Email. Just NanoMail me for the my email. Anything else? I'm mostly just looking for some general feedback; what did you like, what didn't you like, etc. If you have time for a more in-depth critique, that's great too :D

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

GabrielleLaRue — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 21:18:17 -0600

Just wanted to add, you can e-mail me directly at nlcompson (at) gmail (dot) com.... and if you don't want to rip it apart and do like super critique, that's fine. People telling me if it's readable or not is just as awesome.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

izzyhindle — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 22:14:18 -0600

Title: Footsteps Length, Draft and Language: 50,006, First Draft, English. Brief Summary (not more than 300 words) Michaela Fields is merely average. A high school sophomore living in a wealthy community with busy and rich parents dealing with average high school problems. Her boyfriend who broke up with her because of his parents, grades, the usual. Then, something happens that spins her life out of control; she gets pregnant, and the child is her ex's. Now she is forced to deal with a whole new set of problems. But when the unthinkable happens, the couple is completely unsure of how to cope. But she'll never be sure exactly whose footsteps anyone is going to follow... Sub Genre & Keywords: Romance, Teenage Drama, Pregnancy Known Issues: It's pretty cliche and slightly Mary Sue-ish...it's fairly crappy in general. :P Critique Requested: Anything! Critique Tolerance: Medium. Don't go too easy, but don't be ridiculously harsh. Experience & Goals: This is my first novel. I'm definitely not publishing it anytime soon, but maybe some day. Method of Communication: E-mail, Facebook, whatever. Anything else? Disclaimers? Uh...there's some language. But there isn't like, twenty curses per page.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

itsbells — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 01:06:46 -0600

Title: Full Circle Length, Draft and Language: 50131, Draft 1 (Straight out of NaNo :), Strong Language Brief Summary: Senior Year, a round of mini-golfing and a road trip to NYC turn out to be more than Annie bargained for. Her, Jacob & Kelsea have always been tight: Annie and Jacob work together at his family's cafe, Kels and Jacob have been dating since sophomore year, and Annie and Kels wound up best friends. But when Annie drinks a little too much, and sleeps with Jacob at a friend's party, their friendships fall apart. Sub Genre & Keywords: Romance, YA Known Issues: I write my paragraphs in circles during NaNo to boost word count, and it goes along with a previous NaNo, so some plotlines kind of appear of nowhere. Critique Requested: Anything! Critique Tolerance: Medium - I would love honest feedback on the plot, (I know there's some angles I just ought to get rid of) characters and writing ability. Experience & Goals: High school student, 4 (won!) NaNos, and just self-publishing...I would like to get the kinks out before it goes on my (and possibly some friends') shelf. Method of Communication: Email? Whatever works for you. Anything else? Disclaimers? They are not the most well-behaved characters, so there is some language/sex/underage drinking. Its directed towards high school students.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

LuLiLa — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 05:10:42 -0600

I've also posted this in the horror/supernatural section since it fits there too but: Title: Clockwork Spirit Length, Draft and Language: A little over 50K, 1st draft, English. Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): Boe and his friends were orphans. In a not so distant future the food sources were becoming lower and more and more people were deciding to give up their children. That’s why when the twisted scientists Dr. Luis and Dr. Smith offered the attendant at the orphanage a bribe to skip the “adoption process” and simply take the children she accepted their offer. But now Boe and his friends were put into peril. The scientists were experimenting with replacing failing body parts of children with electronics but as they near their “deadline” they began to rush their work and replace parts that were previously working fine. Boe became afraid and attempted to escape but he has not factored in the variable of weather and died alone in a snowy forest. But Boe’s spirit was not gone, even from the world of the dead he acted as an outside observer and tried to change the fate of his friends. Meanwhile Dr. Luis and Smith became frantic at the loss of a test subject and Boe started hearing them talk of a “deadline” for their work. Were these two scientists working for something even larger? Sub Genre & Keywords: It's a ghost story with some sci-fi aspects mainly for the YA age group. Known Issues: Some plot holes/hard to describe logically things, too few paragraph breaks and confusing sentences + much more XD. Critique Requested: I'd like to know of what you like and if there are any major issues in your mind though I am very sensitive about criticism. Critique Tolerance: As I said before, I am VERY sensitive about criticism meaning I probably shouldn't even be posting here (I cry at many comments) so try not to be too harsh about it, just help me if there are some major issues, I know my writing style is very confusing at times but I like it like that. Experience & Goals: This is the longest thing I've ever written, I am only 14 and before NaNoWriMo the most I'd ever written of a story was around 15K so I'm not too experienced. Method of Communication: I'd prefer NaNoMail though will do e-mail if necessary. Anything else? Disclaimers? My story has some swearing and a scene with a dissection of a child in it so if you are not comfortable with that type of thing do not read it. Also this is my NaNo story for this year so if you want to you can read the excerpt (which has been just editted slightly in what I have now) to see if you are interested.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

rckjones — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 09:31:38 -0600

Title: Chubby Running Length, Draft and Language: 50k words, 1st Draft, English (a small portion is in Italian, but it's intentionally supposed to be not understandable to the reader and characters. If you do speak Italian, that would be a BIG bonus as I'd love to have someone correct my Italian grammar!) Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): Gretchen Strunk, 12, didn't ask to up and move to Italy at the start of middle school, but that's what happens to a military brat when the Air Force says so. But the Land of Pizza and Pasta proves to be a bad thing for an obese girl who's already self-conscious about her weight, and the kids at school have already come up with a list of unoriginal nicknames to make sure she never forgets it. To top it off, Gretchen's dad was deployed soon after their arrival in Italy, leaving this daddy's girl without her one big supporter. On the suggestion of a trusted friend, Gretchen laces up a pair of running shoes and begins getting up early in the morning for secret runs. But will she ever be fast enough to outrun the bullies and insults? And what about that cute Italian boy and his xenophobic father? But when an international incident strikes the host town of this small military base, Gretchen will find that her troubles are just beginning... Sub Genre & Keywords: Realistic YA Fiction Known Issues: There are several abandoned plot lines that need to be reintegrated when I rewrite the second draft. The novel as a whole is too short, and the ending comes on VERY fast and needs to be expanded and paced better. Critique Requested: Any and all feedback is welcome. I'd love it if a reader would call me out on bits that are inappropriate for the characters' age. Since I'm 26, I fully expect that there are some dated bits about my teenagers that are not accurate for someone in this day and time. Critique Tolerance: High. I consider any and all criticism to be a gift, and would appreciate both the gentle and the harsh. Experience & Goals: I've never published, but I would like to attempt to publish this novel after some cleanup. I've written a couple of other novels in the past and many short stories. Method of Communication: NaNoMail for introductions, and then email. My novel is posted on Google Docs, and I can just send you the link and give you commenting privileges. :-) Anything else? Disclaimers? If you don't have time to read my whole novel, I'd be ecstatic even if you just read a few pages and give me your thoughts. :-)

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

ajc — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 09:47:42 -0600

Title: Beware The Night Length, Draft and Language: 72,000-odd words, English, first draft and unfinished Brief Summary : Alice Newhall always knew she was extraordinary, but she didn't know about her powers until she started Ashyre Academy, a school for young teenagers coming into their powers. The school has a place in her past, as her long-deceased mother had once attended the prestigious school and grew into her own powers. Armed with the knowledge of fulfilling her curiosity, Alice will learn what she needs to come into her own powers. But danger lurks in the ancient corridors as a legacy dispute three generations in the making threatens to tear the student body apart. And with a single death comes a cryptic warning, to beware the night and all the remains hidden in the darkness. Sub Genre & Keywords: supernatural teens, fantasy/mystery, cliques, power of friendship, death. There are no vampires and no supernatural creatures other than elemental-charged teens. Known Issues: Tangents. My characters go off on them all of the time. I tried switching points of view from the main character (Alice) to another main character. I am also hopeless at judging the pace of a scene and know that it slows down significantly. I also haven't been a teenager in over a decade, so trying to step back into a girl's shoes is hard enough without the teenage issues. I'm hoping Alice is teenage-y enough! Critique Requested: I would like a critique of the plot, as well as a critique of the characters, the tone and the pace of the novel itself. So: plot, storyline, pacing and characters. If you have any other comments, I am more than open to them. Critique Tolerance: I would prefer constructive, but harsh would be adequate, too. If you hate it, tell me why you hate it. I'd prefer it be constructive other than "this sucks." Experience & Goals: This is my first jump into a new genre and I am extremely nervous about sharing this with anyone. I have written NaNo for eight years now and only have one solid piece of finished work and that took two NaNos to write. I don't know if this will ever be published, but I'd certainly love someone else to look at it with fresh perspective. Method of Communication: NaNoMail me. The draft is in Googledocs format, three chapter chunks at a time. Anything Else? Disclaimers? : There is death in this book, as obviously there's a bit of a mystery.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

TrueLoveWaits116 — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 10:39:07 -0600

Title: Anja Length, Draft and Language: 23k words.. Its my rough draft. English. (Some Latin, but the English definition is given.) Brief Summary (not more than 300 words) Anja and Sven, even though they are adults and should be responsible, aren't very responsible at all, within a year after they got married, the pranks and troublemaking got worse. And it had to be because Sven wasn't always working out in the stables anymore, Or maybe because they just had more fun being torublemakers then being responsible, What ever the case may be, Anja's paren'ts were fed up with all of the mischeif, it needed to be stopped. As soon as possible, and that could only be achieved by sending them away, because they doubted they would even be able to get them to stop. After quite some thought, Queen Amelia and King Xavier decided that they would confine Anja and Sven to a cottage in the woods that was to be guarded by soldiers, which were to be the escorts for them if they wanted to leave as well. They liked it for the most part, aside from kissing the castle. It meant Anja could have a garden and Sven could do plenty of hunting. Though, they did wish that sometimes, just sometimes they could have a bit of freedom. They are Prince and Princess of Adenworth, afterall. Sub Genre & Keywords: Fantasy, Witches, Known Issues: Time period accuracy, It should be in Renaissance times, but not sure if it actually looks/sounds like it to the reader, its confusing, due to long nights without sleep trying to write it, it's also not in chapters.. I kinda.. got out of doing that, even tho in the beginning I meant to, Critique Requested: I'd like critique of the plot and characters, really.. of all of it. Critique Tolerance: Constructive, but also harsh. If you hate something, come out and say it, if something's confusing say it. Just say it. No matter how rude it could sound, it doesn't matter to me. I can deal with it. :) Experience & Goals: This is my first NaNo, and It was a big step for me.. :) I'd like someone.. OTHER then fam to see it.. for once... Method of Communication: NaNoMail me, Its on Yarny, so I may have to get your email to send it, Anything else? Disclaimers? There is alot of fighting, and descriptive violence in the fighting, and many injuries. And having to deal with such. I hope you'd like to read it, :)

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

alina.aviya — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 12:38:44 -0600

Title: Next of Kin Length, Draft and Language: just over 50k! Third-ish draft. Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): A teenage girl reads the journals of her estranged and recently deceased father, which change her relationship with him. Sub Genre & Keywords: Contemporary, family I'm looking for something really specific, and that is: a critiquer from Northern Ireland. The aforementioned father is a Belfast native, and although I've listened to many hours of Northern Irish people speaking, I would still like to have someone do a check for authenticity in his voice. Heck, you don't even have to read the whole book, just the parts "written" by him, which total somewhere from 20-25k. Critique Tolerance: Considering I'm just looking for voice/dialect critique... infinite. :D Experience & Goals: I've been writing seriously for about four years, and this is my fourth completed novel. Method of Communication: Nano mail is fine initially, then email? Anything else? Disclaimers?: YES, important: Hardly any of the book actually takes place in Belfast, and the Troubles are not much dealt with directly, but there is a lot about their effect on the characters. The book does not have a sectarian, religious, or political message. (Except maybe "war sucks." :P) I did my best to handle the issue with sincerity and compassion. All that said, I'm sure it will be upsetting to some readers due to the subject matter. May be triggering on the issues of depression, suicide, PTSD, alcoholism, and violence. If any Norn Irish folks can help me, I will be eternally grateful! I'm also more than happy to swap critiques!

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

sarcasmgirl11 — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 18:49:27 -0600

Title: Sanity: Questionable Length, Draft and Language: Around 51k, 1st draft, English (1st person with like one paragraph of 3rd person at the end) Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): Aiden is a sixteen-year-old girl who leads a fairly normal high school life, with one exception; almost every night, she travels to an alternate dimension to fight zombies. When she has a fight with her best friend and zombie-killing partner Meg, a series of events is set in motion that change her life forever. Sub Genre & Keywords: zombies, romance, music Known Issues: General grammar issues, discrepancies, "excitement" in the plot Critique Requested: Pretty much the whole thing in general... mostly how the plot flows and stuff Critique Tolerance: Constructive, but fairly harsh as well Experience & Goals: This is my first year doing Nano, and although I've written a few poems in the past this is the first thing I've written with any sort of length to it. I plan on just doing that self-publishing thing, so I just want to improve my book for myself and a few of my close friends to enjoy. Method of Communication: Nano at first, and then perhaps e-mail? Anything else? Disclaimers? There is a little bit of blood, but it's pretty mild.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

superstarlala — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 18:58:11 -0600

Title: My Little Secret Coffeehouse Length, Draft and Language: 20K, 1st, english Brief Summary (not more than 300 words) Naomi thought she was just average. She had good grades and great friends and she loved music and performing. So one day when a mysterious box and envelope with a key and directions is dropped on her doorstep she decides to follow it and she ends up finding a pretty old building in the "secret" part of town. When her best friend, Hannah sees it, she has an idea to open up a secret coffeehouse- only for teenagers. And without thinking Naomi says yes, and with the help of Hannah and her two sisters, they start a coffee house. But soon the letters keep coming, and trying to deal with school, running your own coffee house, and keeping your overprotective parents from finding out may be enough to make Naomi break. Sub Genre & Keywords: Known Issues: some random tangents, grammar Critique Requested: just generally plot, not grammar so much Critique Tolerance: anything as long as its really critique Experience & Goals: I've been writing for years, i hope to get something published Method of Communication: internet, nano mail Anything else? Disclaimers? nope, except it sucks

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

ir0nna — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 20:16:46 -0600

Title: Inane Verbiage Length, Draft and Language: 51k+, first draft, English. Brief Summary (not more than 300 words) "All Latrina Vomere wanted to do was kill that pesky creature. And then get on with her biology textbook and figure out just how the crap her ghost of a mother ever managed to conceive her. And then read a little Latin, maybe find out why her father decided to name her after a toilet (as if that last name of hers wasn't already enough!), and then stare at her peridot necklace for another while, perhaps. Although why, she honestly has no idea. It's not as if it's that pretty anyway. And then that… insect just had to waltz so conceitedly into her life. So now she's stuck with an infuriating jackass, a miser of a guardian, and a crazy Egyptian pharaoh (who was supposed to be long dead, dammit!) that wants to turn Earth into The Amazing Cat Planet of Ay. And that necklace of hers? It might just be the key to saving them all." Sub Genre & Keywords: Adventure, Fantasy and Humor. ~~Or at least, that was what I planned for it to be.~~ Known Issues: rather awkward writing, lack of sub-plots and a couple of spelling mistakes I likely missed out when I was half-asleep and typing. Critique Requested: writing style, mostly - and how the plot flows. not so much of the plot itself, really, because that itself needs fleshing out. a LOT of fleshing out. critique on characters would be good too, especially the main ones. Critique Tolerance: as long as it is constructive, anything will do, really. Experience & Goals: third year of nano - and still kinda stinky at it. i would say that i had the most fun writing this particular novel, though. goal-wise... well. almost everyone wishes they can get published somehow - and i'm no exception. Method of Communication: nanomail first, then email. Disclaimers: a lot of parentheses and dashes, a ridiculously-long epilogue - and there is absolutely no sub-plot. And overall ridiculousness. as well as the fact that i'm a terrible, terrible writer.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

goomgirl — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 21:24:22 -0600

Title: For the Love of Valentino Length, Draft and Language: 50,023; English Brief Summary: at end of post Sub Genre: Fantasy, Romance? Keywords: queer, good vs. evil, teen Known Issues: Verb tense is inconsistent throughout, I know. Critique Requested: Plot. Specifically the fantasy plot. I may have focused too heavily on the romance aspect. Also, does it feel like a book 1? And any other critique (except typos, I have people on that). Critique Tolerance: tear it apart! Experience & Goals: This is my first novel and I would like to submit it for publication. Method of Communication: E-mail is my preference, and I will send a copy in electronic format (please specify preference of format - .doc, .docx, .pdf, etc.) Anything else? Disclaimers? Feedback on age appropriateness? SYNOPSIS: Valentino is a young teenage elf who has been enslaved. His master forces him into prostitution and assassinating, which he prides himself at being very good at. He yearns for a better life, specifically among the Khamnóirí, a group dedicated to serving the people, and protecting them from the evils that come every few hundred years, known as the Dark Siege. When a "handsome Prince" from Rhaynland visits Valentino's town, the elf becomes determined to join him, in part because he is attracted, but also because he is intrigued by the "human noble." The prince promises to come back for the elf, and rescue him from his slavery. Thus ensues Valentino's internal struggle, adventure, and more! (I'll give a better synopsis if needed, I just hate giving things away.)

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

RockfordBuckeye — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 21:25:50 -0600

Title: Working Hunter Length, Draft and Language: Around 54000-55000 words Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): Katie is a 16 year old high school junior that struggles with balancing her difficult family, school life and passion for riding horses. A car accident forces her to change her priorities and through her rehabilitation she learns to become a better friend and daughter while desperately struggling to regain her life with horses. Sub Genre & Keywords: family, mental health, rehabilitation health, mild romance, horses Known Issues: ending is perhaps too rushed, overly medical at times, too dark of a theme between katie's home life issues and rehabilitation. Did I develop the protagonist enough before her accident so that the reader can fully relate to her devastation? I would like to round out further the healing of the relationship between Katie and her parents. That is still something I would like to refine more. Critique Requested: Construction - straight forward. Critique Tolerance: I don't take things personally! Just tell me what you think and be direct! Experience & Goals: No experience as a writer - this is my first attempt at a novel. I do not have a background in humanities - my background is purely medical but I have always, always wanted to write! Method of Communication: nanomail and then email if you are still interested! I am extremely fast reader and definitely "have opinions" so I'm happy to swap. I would send my working draft as a .pdf. Anything else? Disclaimers? I'm a little afraid I might be too old to relate fully to "kids these days" and that sometimes my desire to be "realistic" may bog down the plot line with too much detail that might bore a YA reader. Thanks so much. Very excited about this - living out a dream I've had for a long time!

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

JettaBaby — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 22:58:57 -0600

Oh, boy. Here I go... Title: Moondance Rose (currently, unless I can think of something better) Length, Draft and Language: 50,063 words including bonus scenes and features, about 47k without. First draft. English. Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): Jessa Kevlar was an average 14 year old girl, with good friends, good grades, and a good life. Then one stupid descision gets her in trouble with the law. Jessa is sent half way across the country to Kiska Ranch, a working ranch in Tentille, Montana, where juvenile delinquents go to make up for their past wrongs. On the same night that Jessa arrives, a horse is rescued and brought to Kiska Ranch. Pure white, but starved, neglected, and close to death, there seemed no hope for her. Jessa volunteered herself to rescue the horse, despite knowing the many challenges she would face. After that fateful night, things seemed to be going pretty well for Jessa. She made new friends, including daring Mila and rainbow-haired Emily. She learned to ride, something she found that she enjoyed. She worked hard, but had fun. Then one dark night, an escape gone terribly wrong threatens all that Jessa has, including her life. Sub Genre & Keywords: Horses, Delinquents, Ranch, Adventure Known Issues: Tenses (first and third), not a strong enough voice I think, but I'm not really sure... Critique Requested: Everything- I want this to be... well, as perfect as possible. Critique Tolerance: Lay it on me. It doesn't hurt my feeling, it only helps me. Experience & Goals: First year doing NaNo, although I've been writing stories as soon as I could pick up a pencil. Method of Communication: NaNoMail, if possible. Anything else? Disclaimers?: I specificly put no actual swear words in this, so that it is appropriate for all audiences. Also, this is very fast-paced and adventurous. A *few* longer dialog parts, and no lengthy scenary descriptions.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

Living-Learning-Eating — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 00:23:37 -0600

Title: The Crazy Patient Unit Length, Draft and Language: 50,174words, first, English. Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): Things aren’t exactly going as Na’ila planned them to. For starters, she didn’t plan to be offered deferred admission to her dream school, Southern California University. She also didn’t plan on, in a fit of frenzy brought on by her newly mangled five year plan, blowing all of her savings on a plan ticket to – of all places – Germany. And she definitely didn’t plan on living for four months with grandparents she hasn’t spoken to since before her milk teeth fell out. But this eighteen-year-old wannabe pre-med student is about to learn that life rarely goes as planned. Between changing bed pans, bathing old people, making cultural faux pas right and left, and landing her first boyfriend, Na’ila has her hands full – but then there’s a disaster at work, a major mystery involving filched pharmaceuticals, and a new best friend in danger of losing everything. Na’ila puts on her Big Girl Panties and get to work to solve the mystery, and learn a lot about life, love, and herself in the process. Sub Genre & Keywords: YA Chick Lit Vein, Travel, coming of Age, Adventure Known Issues: I don't know - but I want to make it awesome and submit it to agents! Critique Requested: Everything - it's my dream to be properly published, so I want this to be amazing. Critique Tolerance: Be as brutal as needed, just let's get this done. :) Experience & Goals: I'e been writing stories for as long as I can remember and have several full-length manuscripts lying around and gathering cobwebs. I want that to end! Method of Communication: NaNoMail or Email Anything else? Disclaimers? This is meant for fans of Meg Cabot, Sophia Kinsella, etc. It has a point, but it's also meant to be mainstream and fun to read - please don't choose it if you're looking for dark fantasy or whatever. Thanks so much!

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

Living-Learning-Eating — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 00:28:04 -0600

Title: Elsbett & Robin Take On A-Nasty-Sia Length, Draft and Language: 31,263 words, draft ten (at least), English Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): Can two kids save their castle on their hill, its ill-tempered moat, and the mysterious Enchanted Forest around it? If you want to know, and are brave enough to hear of all their wild adventures and misadventures along the way, Elsbett & Robin Take on A-Nasty-Sia is the book for you! In the story, Elsbett and Robin live in a castle on the teetery-tottery-tip of a tall hill in a magic land where things are rarely as they seem. When their home is threatened, and their guardian, a kooky old Professor, is incapacitated, it is up to the two to save the day! Sure, being a kid is hard. But try being a kid in a place where you seem to be the least magical of everyone. Welcome to Elsbett’s life. But when Elsbett and Robin unearth a plan to turn their castle into a luxury shopping resort, clear the Enchanted Forest, and turn their dragon, Lula, into nothing more than a glorified taxi—the audacity!—her magical abilities, or rather lack thereof, become the least of Elsbett’s concerns. Despite the obstacles that stand in their way, from living with the conniving plotter to being poisoned, Elsbett and Robin manage to save their home and loved ones. In the end, when she least expects it, Elsbett’s magical talent finally pops up and, as they say, ‘all is well that ends well’. Sub Genre & Keywords: Middle Grade, Magic, Fantasy, Adventure Known Issues: I don't know...I tried self-publishing, but haven't seen much success (and agents requested partials and fulls, but all ended up passing in the end) Critique Requested: Everything! Critique Tolerance: VERY high. You can say anything - just please make it constructive! I want this to be awesome. Experience & Goals: I've been writing forever, I want to be properly published. Method of Communication: NaNoMail or email Anything else? Disclaimers? If you like books like those in 'A Series of Unfortunate Events,' please read this!

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

Mattimis — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 01:17:41 -0600

Title: Longing Guitarists and Imaginary Demons Sub Genre & Keywords: Loneliness, rock band, finding acceptance Length: About 68k words Draft #: Third and a half Language: English ----- Brief Summary/Synopsis: You know how the saying goes: there’s no place like home. But home isn’t where Michael Zhang is. Home is thirteen hundred miles and three states away. Home is in California, not Colorado. Home is where he used to have everything a sophomore boy could ever want: self-assurance, friends, and a life of his own. But now he has none of that. In fact, between the bouts of nervousness and self-doubt plaguing his soul, he might even have less than he originally thought. Thrust into an unfamiliar world, all Michael wants is one thing—-to be able to call it his home. Luckily, there’s one thing he does have left: his acoustic guitar. And when he’s unexpectedly offered a chance to perform at the local Battle of the Bands, he realizes that he just might be able to find a place in Colorado, one chord at a time. Now if only those demons within will let him…. ----- Critique Requested: Any, although brutally honest would be preferred, so I know what needs to be done to make this novel good enough to be published. Critique Tolerance: Any. Known Issues: Frequent usage of colloquial grammar, the story seeming like it could essentially be two separate novels Experience: First novel, although this NaNoWriMo I've written a second ("Longing Guitarists" was written during NaNoWriMo 2009). Goals: For eventual publishing (I will be looking for agents in December and beyond). Method of Communication: NaNoMail me, and then I'll give you my email address. Thanks in advance for anyone who'll help me out. =)

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

djtrousdale — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 09:29:50 -0600

Title: Correspond Ants Length, Draft and Language: 60000 words, first draft, english Brief Summary: Dojo is a lonely black ant in a colony in a house in a neighborhood in California. His only friend is Tomtom the grasshopper, a musician who ran away from his family. The house is also full of spiders, who gobble up the ants wherever they find them. The house is owned by Tina, a perfect mother who enjoys writing letters to all of over a hundred extended family members. When Tomtom disappears, Dojo gets so lonely he does a little experiment. He writes tiny notes in the corners and margins of Tina's letters whenever he gets a chance. There are no replies for a long time. Just as he's about to give up, he discovers a tiny message from "Rae", a female red ant from Tina's cousin's house. Soon the two start a correspondence and become pen pals. But there’s a problem: it's 1998, and an invention called the World Wide Web is gaining popularity. It sounds scary enough to the bugs (and the spiders know it), and when the humans switch to electronic mail, neither ant can communicate. So, around Christmas time, when Tina sends a package to her cousin, Dojo hitches a ride to meet Rae in person. What he finds out will surprise him like nothing else. (Tina's cousin is Larry, and his is the largest subplot. He's a computer programmer with a layabout wife and an estranged son.) Sub Genre & Keywords: animals, bugs, spiders, adventure, scary Known Issues: I don't know exactly who my audience is. It's a little wordy for kids, but the content may be a little kiddish for adults. Critique Requested: Predictability, mainly. I want this to be interesting and keep the reader guessing without completely alienating or losing them. Critique Tolerance: High in this regard, medium in others. Experience & Goals: Fifth year participating and winning Nano. Out of them all, I am most satisfied with this. No real plans to publish quite yet, writing is mainly a hobby. Method of Communication: Email and chat. Nanomail me for either. Anything else/disclaimers: Should be safe for everyone.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

KrazyKelia — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 17:14:33 -0600

Title: (Still haven't thought of a title) Sub Genre & Keywords: Fantasy, Faeries, family Length: About 49,000 right now Draft #: 1 Language: English ----- Brief Summary/Synopsis: Valerie used to believe in Faeries. But that is stupid, not possible, and completely insane. But there is no other explanation for the strange creatures she finds dancing in her woods, creatures not quite human who trap her with their allure before she can have second thoughts. But even when she finds her way back home, nothing quite makes sense, they left her with half scrambled memories of a man who is as impossible as the faeries themselves. She couldn't have seen her father with the faeries because he died ten years ago. So yeah, I hate writing summaries :/ if that interest you at all, please message me for a sample! I hope it's better than it sounds. ----- Critique Requested: Anything really, I'll have some specific questions about plot and ending and character interactions and writing quality, but I'd appreciate any feedback. Critique Tolerance: Say what you really think! Known Issues: It doesn't really feel ended, one part has to be rewritten, unsure about some plot things. Experience: Seventh novel written, though I haven't majorly revised any of them (except for rewriting completely one). Goals: Just to finish revising this one since I don't think it's too terrible. Method of Communication: NaNoMail me, and then I'll give you my email address.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

hennaflwr — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 19:56:41 -0600

Title: Strong Enough to Let Go Length, Draft and Language: 59,229 , 7th-ish draft, English, First Person Brief Summary (not more than 300 words) Sub Genre & Keywords: Older Adoption, Korea, United States Known Issues: Lack of emotion (I've been told), flow Critique Requested: readability, how to improve emotions, flow Critique Tolerance: Moderate Experience & Goals: I have written many novels, but never published. Actually, I've never tried. Nothing's been worthy yet Method of Communication: NaNoMail please Anything else? Disclaimers? I'm not really sure with authenticity and I know there's a ton of stuff about food! I'm going to fix that.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

hennaflwr — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 20:13:05 -0600

Ooops! i forgot to put my summary. So Yon is a defector who escaped North Korea with her sister. When So Yon is taken to an orphanage, she can't bear the thought of never seeing her sister again. Eventually, she is sent to America to be adopted. This causes much distress for her, but she keeps contact with her sister through letter writing while trying to fit into American culture. Eventually, So Yon must make a decision to let go of her Korean roots and the idea of ever seeing her sister again. The question So Yon must face is if she is strong enough to let go of her past.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

Learned — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 21:12:21 -0600

Title: The Lady of Shalott  Length, Draft and Language: 51K, 1st draft*, English  Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): (please find at the end)  Sub Genre & Keywords: historical fiction, science fiction  Known Issues: pacing, characterization. *If you're willing to wait until February and read the second draft, then contact me now and I'll keep in touch with you. That would be awesome, and I prefer second draft readers!  Critique Requested: This was the first draft, so I'm not as interested in line-by-line critiques. I know the characterization and plotting is messy, so my main question is what works for you, what sticks out (either positively or negatively), and how the novel makes you feel.  Critique Tolerance: Anything is fine.  Experience & Goals: This is my first completed draft of a novel. I would like to publish.  Method of Communication: NaNoMail, then I'll give e-mail address Brief summary: Set in England at the dawn of the first millennium A.D., The Lady of Shalott is the story of a young man who encounters a legendary woman living in an invisible tower. Every legend has a grain of fact … Artur is a twelve-year-old Celtic shepherd who's afraid of the dark. He lives in a mud hut near Stonehenge, where strange lights are seen in the sky, and where King Arthur and the wizard Merlin are rumored to lie sleeping, neither dead nor alive. Deep in the forest with his sheep, he strikes up a conversation with a disembodied voice. It is the Lady of Shalott, cursed to live in an invisible tower, a woman who has never before been seen by human eyes. He visits her again and again, and begins to fall in love, but he has no idea who or what she truly is. As England descends into madness and war, Artur must conquer his deepest fears to learn the truth about the Lady of Shalott and risk everything to save her if he can.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

ashiibrook — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 02:49:03 -0600

Title: Shattered Length, Draft and Language: 50 006 words, 1st extremely rough draft, English Brief Summary (not more than 300 words) warning I’m not good at writing summaries:- In the most tender time of their lives, twins Faith and Hope Starwell, and their younger sister Charity, are whipped up from their ordinary faery lives, and thrust into the world of being crown princesses as their father is forced to take his rightful place as crown king. Meeting a crew of new and wonderful characters, including their mentor, Matilda Lightwood, who is falling in love with their father; the council princess Carly Horrigan, who is hiding behind walls of steel; Clydie Angel, Charity’s lady in waiting with a gift for animals; Sarah Palter, whose kindness may not be her only gift; and of course, get a glimpse inside the girls memories at Angel Starwell, their long lost mother. Welcome to the hell of high school ,while being princesses. Experience the heart pounding terror, the exciting action and the overwhelming joys as their goddess Serena gifts each and every one of them, and yet it all just becomes Shattered. Sub Genre & Keywords: Fantasy, faeries, goddess gifts, love triangles Known Issues: My plot really should extend over more like two to three books, and I have really short chapters and then really really long chapters. -.- Also I give one of my characters late in the book an age of 11 and he seemingly grows up into a 13-14 year old’s behaviours. Any help reaging my other characters so his age would fit in (you’ll get what I’m asking when you read it) would be more than welcome. Critique Requested: Anything is welcome, but please help me with chapter breaks and better names for my characters. Critique Tolerance: Don’t be rude, but don’t be soft, I need to hear how to improve upon it. Experience & Goals: I’ve been writing since I was young, this is my second NaNo and I’m looking to sell the createspace version of this book on Amazon. Method of Communication: NaNomail me and we’ll go from there via emails. Anything else? Disclaimers? This book ends up being a poltical anogy with some darkness mixed through. If you like the House of Night series with the goddess styleness, you’ll love Serena, and if you love love triangles, well then, there are plenty of them here.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

C. M. Koenig — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 17:07:24 -0600

Title: Heart and Prophecy Length, Draft and Language: roughly 50k, first draft, American English--be aware that what I have at the moment is only the whole of Part One. There should be three parts (two more shorter parts) so be aware this cuts off at a very, very high-action moment--for the sole reason I want future readers to turn to Part Two and also because that's where it ended at 50,000 words. Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): Peter has been an outcast for a while. His childhood was anything but boring and his fondest memories involve him sitting watching Westerns on a TV while an old woman spun tales of time before and monsters, stuff almost familiar. He is and was a Traveller and now he’s diagnosed with DID. He doesn’t have it, though. It isn’t his fault the ghosts ask him to talk for them. In other news, everyone in town has gone insane. Of course, his input isn’t taken very well. He has been checked out and declared to have a mental malfunction. So, obviously, it’s not like he can tell anyone about the ritual murder or the baby that appeared in the chifferobe that he’s relatively sure was demonic. They’d merely think him crazier. So, what’s a boy to do? Well, probably anything but he does, but he’s trying. Now if he can only find the real Chosen One so he can get the heck out of dodge with his little adopted family and never go back to the town that seems to be chock full of darkness, the dead, and ley lines. Sub Genre & Keywords: Urban fantasy, paranormal, supernatural, ghosts, fey, tarot cards, friendship, wannabe witches, Supreme Awkwardness, humor Known Issues: Grammar (somewhat). Flow/pacing. Critique Requested: All-over proof-read if possible. I'd prefer focus on grammar and flow/pacing (obviously), but notes on character, overall goodness, plot, and such would be lovely. Critique Tolerance: High. Don't flame and I'll basically be a-okay. Experience & Goals: I've now completed NaNo twice. I wrote my first novel four years ago and completed many other poems, short stories, and one novella. I also completed one first draft of a novel over last NaNo. I've also worked on many novels since then but none completed. I hope to eventually be published if not with this book. Method of Communication: Email, NaNoMail. Anything else? Disclaimers? Not particularly. No swear words (unless you're British and count 'bloody' because both Peter and his friend Kas find it lovely because they can never get in trouble with their foster mom for it!), only a few minor implications. It can get a little scary, I guess. Definitely for 12+, maybe 14+.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

Mattimis — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 03:14:18 -0600

Another known issue: There may be too many excess/unneeded words

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

Mother Goose — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 11:48:02 -0600

Title: THE POINT Length, Draft and Language: @ 59,000 and counting. It's in 1st draft stage (with some revision already) and in English. I must say here that the story is not finished, but will be by the end of next week. I wanted to get this request up before people started disappearing back into their real life worlds. Brief Summary: Someone is at the point of dying - a knife is at his throat. What has brought him to this? For years Vic Clements has been identified as a homosexual, and bullied repeatedly. His teachers and principal know, but won't help. Now in his junior year of high school, he cuts himself and attempts suicide. His parents send him to a Reparative Therapy boot camp/clinic where he is tortured into being straight. When he returns to school his one friend, Ruby, decides to be his girlfriend to cover for him, but the bullies turn viciously on her. Someone is killed, another attacked, and there is nowhere to turn, no one who will help. Vic has run out of options. He can't take any more. Brent Greene is terrified of being identified as gay, and searches out every opportunity to display his 'manly' heterosexuality. The senior running back on the football team bullies to drape himself in shadow, to avoid the same spotlight he turns on Vic. His desperation to be normal drives him to extremes of cruelty. The epic struggle between these two young men draws in other students, then their entire school, and eventually the small Minnesota community in which they live. Will Brent's drive to hide his homosexuality lead him to murder Vic? Or is the knife in another's hand, THE POINT being driven home by someone else? Sub Genre & Keywords: Mainstream Lit; bullying; coming of age; LGBT; teens Known Issues: I have trouble keeping my tenses straight. I slip from past to present tense without being aware I've done it. Critique Requested: Grammar; flow, dialogue, pacing... the usual. (Please don't tell me I'm wrong about the gay bullying though - If you disagree with preventing gay bullying then this book is definitely not for you.) Critique Tolerance: I can take it, but I'd like it presented as a learning opportunity, rather than a judgmental critique where I'm found lacking. I respond well to praise (who doesn't?) and could use that whenever you feel so moved as well. Experience & Goals: I have sold eight short stories; seven have been published in anthologies. One of the anthologies won a Lambda Award. This is my first NaNo novel, but I've written four other novels before this. Eventually I'd like all three of my YA LGBT novels up for sale through ebooks and POD. Method of Communication: Nano mail to start - and then email. I'm definitely self publishing this book through ebooks and Print On Demand. I want it to be as perfect as possible by Feb. 1st - a personal goal I've set myself. Beta Readers will be officially thanked in Acknowledgments, and will have my undying gratitude.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

Maemi — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 20:00:58 -0600

Title: Nowhere Fast Length, Draft and Language: ~58k words, second draft, English Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): Niel's mother loved trains, so after she died, he spent most of his time going out to see them. It didn't matter that he lived too far away from the city to see a passenger one; it just made him feel better. And then he meets Sam, a college student with smiles to spare. Niel feels selfish feeling so happy, mostly because his father hasn't gotten over his mother's death. He's also not willing to come out to his friends, so while he and Sam are out having light saber duels and possibly falling in love, as far as his father knows, he's with his friends. And as far as his friends know he has a mysterious girlfriend from Canada. Sub Genre & Keywords: Romance, LGBT Known Issues: Nothing I probably wouldn't mind having pointed out again Critique Requested: Anything you can find; if it bugs you, it'll probably bug others Critique Tolerance: Nothing brutal, and I prefer critique with suggestions for how to fix it or questions that would lead me towards my own conclusions than just "This is wrong, fix it." Experience & Goals: I'd love to be able to use this novel in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award this year, but that means the critique might have to come fairly quickly. I've been writing for years and study it for my college major, so you shouldn't feel afraid to use big words with me XD Method of Communication: What I'd really love to do is find someone who'd be willing to have the entire document emailed to them, or maybe just a chapter at a time, and then for us to convene over instant message or something. I tend to write better with a live opinion feed :) Anything else? Disclaimers?: If anyone is interested, please NaNoMail me rather than replying to this topic. I'll be lurking the site, but am more likely to see an annoying message that pops up on every page than this.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

Dillusional writer — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 15:46:44 -0600

Title: Recollecting Length, Draft and Language: 50,561. Extremely rough draft (trying to edit a few chapters a day though). English. Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): The town of Worchester, Rhode Island, is in for a big surprise when Carolina Scotchers and Boston Rogers meet on the first day of Pre-School. Instantly, a great friendship is formed, and neither is seen without the other. As Boston and Carolina grow up, other relationships form, a hobo is fed and clothed, Girl scout cookies are sold, and a story is written. Suddenly the two are hit with adulthood, and everything that comes with it. Moves are moved, jobs are made, birthdays are celebrated, and dinners are ate. When a family crisis happens back in Worchester, what do the two friends do? [/not the best...sorry...] Sub Genre & Keywords: journalism, kids, love, moving, christmas, stroke Known Issues: Run on sentences, sentence fragments... The writing style probably changes about over the course of the novel, probably darastically too... how well it all flows is probably an issue too. Critique Requested: I would like to know if the way I'm writing through my MCs mind confuses the reader. Coninuity in general... Making sure I've portrayed a boy well, and falling in love well. I would like some help coming up with a better summary/blurb as well, please. Critique Tolerance: Go ahead and say whatever, just not that I'm a terrible writer and my novel's terrible too. Experience & Goals: I post ficton stories on a writing website, and have been for about a year or so. A few articles of mine have appeared in school/camp newspapers. Recently placed in local poetry contest (though I stink at writing poetry...). And wrote a speech for an event called Original Oratory.(/is that what this section meant?) Goals? I'd love to be a published fiction author. I'd also like to get the five free copies CreateSpace is offering, and I'd prefer it to be a fantastic novel instead of just a really really really rough draft. Method of Communication: Email would be best for me, but nanomail if you need to. Anything else? Disclaimers? I might have one or two swear words in there...but nothing else.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

Jayne2 — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 03:43:21 -0600

Title: Knots & Frays Length, Draft and Language: Approximately 60k, though I am happy to only have a few chapters critiqued (each chapter is roughly 2-4k). It's the first draft (there's some slight editing). It's in English. Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): See below. Sub Genre & Keywords: LGBT, coming of age, family dynamics, alcoholism, paranormal (this is very minimal and only appears towards the end of the novel), romance. Known Issues: It's very character driven and probably missing a major plot. It's got a lot of little plots all over the place that may or may not join up at a point. Critique Requested: Namely on the characters and themes. Critique Tolerance: I'd like constructive criticism. You can leave that up to your own discretion to decide just what exactly that means. Experience & Goals: I have completed a novel previously and have been quite serious about my writing for several years. I may look to publish in the far future, but right now this novel is for me. Method of Communication: NaNoMail and then we can move onto Email. Anything else? Disclaimers? It's about two gay characters, so if this bothers you in any way it's probably not the novel for you to read. Sex exists but it's mostly eluded to. There is death, but it's not graphic by any means. There is some swearing - some of it rather major - but all of the harsher terms are used in (what I consider at least) understandable context. - Summary - James and Brandon were considered so different, but that didn't mean they weren't compatible. James may have lived his life on the edge, slept with any man who gave him a second look and dropped out of school to never look back, but that didn't mean there was more to him than that. Brandon may have come from the perfect family who appeared to accept everything he did and wanted, but sometimes theoretical ideas weren't accepted when they became a reality. Through each other these boys will be able to fill in the gaps there life has been missing, and maybe be able to move forward from the knots they have found themselves trapped in.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

luvinpadfoot — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 11:38:00 -0600

Title: Liar Liar Length, Draft and Language: 66,123 words, 1st draft, English Brief Summary: Abandoned by her father as a child, Riley has built up walls to keep from being hurt again. Years later she meets Damien who becomes the first boy to get through her walls and reach her heart. Damien loves her dearly, but also missing a father and bullied by his brother, he has a dark side that could end up hurting Riley more than her father ever did. Sub Genre & Keywords: Romance, Drama, Abuse Known Issues: Awkward phrasing, word choice, grammar, technical stuff. These are mostly things I can fix when I go back and edit. It's a bit redundant to have someone else point it out to me as well, at least on the first draft. If you want to make general comments that would be fine, but every little thing would just be too much. Critique Requested: I'd like if the critique could be more story oriented. Comments on characterization, the plot, scenes that might be missing, scenes that are useless, subplots, anything that has to do with the story would be greatly appreciated. Also, just general comments on what you noticed about anything (including technical stuff). If there's something you noticed a lot that you think I could work on, that would be nice. Critique Tolerance: I like to think I can tolerate anything, but try not to be unnecessarily harsh. And please tell me one thing you liked about the story, even if it's something small. As long as it's constructive criticism it should be fine by me. Experience & Goals: I'm very new. I've only been writing for a few years and this is the first story I've finished of this length. That being said, I am looking into the possibility of publishing at some point. So don't coddle me because I'm inexperienced. Method of Communication: I would prefer email and MS Word comments. Disclaimer: There is sex (not graphic). There is physical abuse (graphic). There is strong language, although not very much. Turn around time: I'm not picky, but I would like to start revising by February. That's a month and a half away, which shouldn't be a problem (although if you would like more time, just let me know and that will be fine). NaNoMail me and I can answer any questions you have or give you my email. Thank you in advance!

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

She BElieVIEd — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 20:29:08 -0600

Title: Evol Length, Draft and Language: 111 pages so far, draft number one, English Brief Summary (not more than 300 words) They're taking over. Our brains. Our hearts. Not inside our bodies. If you past the test. If you prove your superb intelligence--they will let you live, inside a new body. Inside the body of a robot, indestructible, impossibly knowledgeble, and not you. For some, this is a dream, if they're lucky enough to pass. Even with all the right answers, they have to like you if you want to continue on, if you want to succeed by winning your own life. And every emotion inside you will go away, minus love. They say this will cause love to rule over all, to create a world of peace. They couldn't be more wrong. Sub Genre & Keywords: Hmm. I can't really think of anything... Known Issues: Grammar/spelling mistakes. Like I said, first draft--anything you catch, you can share with me. Critique Requested: I want to know what you liked (if anything), what there should be more of. I need to know if it makes sense, if you can pick up on the drift of things and begin to understand how the world works in Evol. I need to know what you think of character names, and of my use of the five senses. Critique Tolerance: Give it to me hard. Unless you feel completely incapable of saying anything bad...then you should probably work on your editing skills. I know I have minor and major mistakes, both. Experience & Goals: I don't know if this material that can be sold. Mainly because, I did not write it for that purpose. I write because I enjoy to write--and I'm VERY curious to see how people react to anything, my writing included. Method of Communication: Nanomail whenever possible. To send the actual story, though, email seems to work best. Anything else? Disclaimers? There is death--murder--but it is done in such a way that I think it is not a serious issue as far as being too gruesome or puke-inducing. Thank you!

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

Karen Smith — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 13:16:25 -0600

Title: None at present, just Hazel 11 This is a very rough first draft just over 50,000 words. Summary: Seventh grader Hazel Whitmore and her mother have moved back to the rural Missouri town where her mother grew up, a big change for a New York City girl. Suddenly Hazel is in a small rural school of about 200 students K-8, no cell or regular phone, no Internet, no friends. Somehow Hazel must find a way to fit in even though her paternal grandfather is waging a vendetta against the two leaving Hazel isolated and outcast at school. This vendetta ends up tearing the grandfather's family apart leading to terrible consequences. The story is coming of age. There are some mean tricks played on Hazel. It does end with murder and attempted murder but is not graphic. This is a VERY rough draft as I have not had an opportunity to even read through it since November. I assume there are spelling and grammar problems here and there. Some substories may be left dangling or in need of better development. I am interested in knowing how well the storyline hangs together, things that don't ring true, substories that just don't work. I am a bit thin-skinned but do all right as long as reasons for the criticisms are given as I want to improve the story. This is a rural novel with a rural setting. It is the second in a series but should stand alone. I can be reached through NaNo mail then by regular email.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

bikegirl115 — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 21:27:18 -0600

Title: Fallrain Length, Draft and Language: About 52K words, 2nd draft, English Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): In a small town in Washington, it never stops raining. But when a group of schoolchildren are six years old, a woman and her son, Caleb, disappear and life gradually goes back to normal. Their freshman year of high school, six students who were friends with Caleb try and figure out what happened nine years ago and how this relates to their relationships with the town and one another. Sub Genre & Keywords: Magical Realism, I would say, Character-Driven HS Story Known Issues: It has become very lit-ficcy for a YA novel. I tell and don't show, and I am also over-wordy at times. There are some scenes that don't contribute to the story and don't flow well, but I don't know how to get rid of them. The dialogue is at times stilted, and I don't know how well I got the male characters' voices. I am aware some of my characters are bordering on Mary-Sue-ness (I actually don't know how much of an issue this is in context but just be warned). Critique Requested: Story (eg, useless subplots, paragraphs/chapters that just don't contribute to the story at all), Characterization, and Readability Critique Tolerance: Be honest, but not evil. Experience & Goals: I write compulsively, but this is the first novel that I want to try and get published. The goal, then, is to get this published. Method of Communication: Email is good! Anything else? Disclaimers? It's PG (maybe verrry mild PG-13) rated- eg some high school sex humor, mild swearing, but nothing bad, no actual sexual content. It's in 3rd person and switches POVs a few times. I think it's pretty funny :)

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

Little_Alex — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 23:38:06 -0600

Title: Outside of Us Length, Draft and Language: 64k, 3rd draft, English Brief Summary (not more than 300 words) Sixteen year old Lauren Campbell is ready for a change, and a boarding school 300 miles from all her bratty “friends” back home is just the ticket. She makes new friends, much better friends who treat her like she’s human, and aside from a small group of bullies, the move seems to be for the better. She didn’t figure her problems would get worse. When someone on campus is raped, Lauren takes the initiative to figure out who is responsible and bring them down. After all, she’s had a life of bad people before this and she’ll do whatever it takes to make her new home worth the move. But Lauren is convinced evil is a force found only in certain people and not others. What she discovers on her pursuit of truth could wreck her. Is one of her trusted friends responsible? And is she capable of evil, too? Sub Genre & Keywords: contemporary, boarding school, mature reader Known Issues: comment on everything Critique Requested: anything that sticks out to you Critique Tolerance: Give it to me straight, I can take it Experience & Goals: this is my second full length novel. First one I've spent any time editing. My goal is to have it ready for ABNA this year Method of Communication: nano me and I'll give you my email address. We'll go from there. Anything else? Disclaimers? I know it's short notice for ABNA, but even if you can read through it and give me a good critique of the first 3000-5000 words, I'd be entirely grateful! This should appeal to fans of John Green.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

Little_Alex — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 23:39:03 -0600

I should also mention it deals with some very mature themes, so please be aware of this

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

PiccadillyPink — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 18:50:57 -0600

Title: The Spare (working title, but don't love it.) Length= 89,970 Draft= mostly first draft, beginning parts are onto second draft Language=English Brief Summary (not more than 300 words) Evie is determined to follow in her mother's footsteps and attend Oxford University. Leaving her father and home behind in Seattle, Evie set out on an adventure, England and Oxford all in one swoop. Once she arrives in England she finds herself making friends with none other than the youngest prince of Britain. Over time these two start to fall in love and have to conquer his family and her lack of social status. Sub Genre= YA, Teen, Romance Keywords= romance, England, Paris, Oxford, Royalty Known Issues: Obviously, I need a better blurb - what I have sucks! :) Grammar is not my strong suit, and a better title would be awesome. Critique Requested: Anything! Critique Tolerance: As long as you don't tell me it sucks I'm good. Experience & Goals: Ultimately, I'd love to swap novels with someone. I'm looking for help making my novel the best it can be with the ultimate goal of querying agents. Writing is my passion and I'm always striving to get better, any help is much appreciated. Method of Communication: Email Anything else? Disclaimers?

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

RobWeb13 — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 15:20:06 -0600

Title: Sawyer Laurent and the Mistress of Ink Length, Draft and Language: 60,400, First draft, English Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): Sawyer Laurent has just turned thirteen. Sawyer Laurent feels normal. Perhaps not normal; she's wise beyond her years, fancies reading above fashion or dating, and finds herself being selected for a most definitely fatal test called Oneiris where she'll be put to sleep (presumably forever). However where Sawyer expects to find a land made of dreams, she finds two new best friends and a new realm entirely based upon magic. With the imposing threat of a dark witch looming over the new found friends and the entire realm, Sawyer must find the truth behind the Oneiris, uncover the secrets hidden deep in the history of the realm, and importantly yet, identify the butterflies in her stomach that might just reveal her first crush. Sub Genre & Keywords: Magic, Fantasy, Myths, Creatures, Monsters Known Issues: Grammar and many small mistakes Critique Requested: Yes, please! Anything and all! Critique Tolerance: Well, I'm sensitive, I admit. But I need to be hit hard with it! Experience & Goals: Third finished novel-- first one I actually like. (; Going to try and sell it on Smashwords and Amazon Kindle. Method of Communication: E-mail. Shoot me an e-mail please, as I'm not on NaNoWriMo nearly as frequently, yet my phone has my e-mails so I'll always get them. Ottervine@gmail.com Anything else? Disclaimers? Maybe for fans of Percy Jackson, Hunger Games, Harry Potter, Mysterious Benedict Society. Give it a try!

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

mistygal01 — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 05:54:56 -0600

Title: Northwood Length, Draft and Language: 77,500 words, First draft with one round of rewrites, English. Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): Maia doesn't know what to think when Jem arrives to ask her father if he can make him a new saddle. There's something odd about him, that's for sure. Then he leaves, and it looks like that will be the end of it. But when Maia returns after exercising her horse to find her home in ruins, her mother and brothers taken and her father left for dead, there's only one word on her Dad's lips - Jem. Knowing he is the only clue she has as to why this terrible deed has occurred, Maia starts out on her mission to find him, the truth, and whatever else there is to be found along the way. But discovering the legendary land of the Northwood and its people torn by centuries of war and hiding is not exactly what she had in mind, nor is falling in love with the boy whose own deepest secret might lead to the destruction of all that she holds most dear. Sub Genre & Keywords: Fantasy, magic, myths, legends, romance Known Issues: Grammar, spelling etc has not been checked as I am currently concentrating on getting the plot nailed down. (however it is not tooo bad) Critique Requested: I'm looking for someone to pick over the plot itself... does something not fit? Does something such and such a character do seem totally out of place? Stuff like that. Critique Tolerance: I'm open to anything as long as its constructive, no matter how harsh. Just dont be mean. Experience & Goals: Second finished novel, aiming for publication. I'd like to have this ready to start submitting by April/June. Method of Communication: Email Anything else? Disclaimers? Anyone who likes books such as The Iron Fey series and others that draw on myths and legends and creatures like faeries and mermaids and things should find this a good read (that's the goal anyway lol)

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

beanza3 — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 13:20:06 -0600

Title: The Innocent Flower Length, Draft and Language: English, First Draft, Currently Unfinished Brief Summary (not more than 300 words) Eugenics: improving the human species by encourging reprodution with people who have desirable genes, and discourging it between people who don't. The America society has been reformed around this concept, and the government and education system has been updated. Alomst 100 years after the start of the Eugenics Reformation, there are still radicals, those who disagree with the ideals of it. Three months before her 16th birthday, Avery becomes one of them. Her nerves facing the IQ test (a compilation if IQ, sports ability, a physical, and full genetic runthrough) are comman. She becomes elightened to the lies of her society as she finds out that she can't take the test... She'd fail. She sends herself off to the military, losing her closest friends in the process. As the president's power starts to threaten her newly made friends, this budding sniper needs to decided who's side she's on, and what she'll do to protect those she loves. Sub Genre & Keywords: YA, Dystopia Known Issues: Pacing, Comma issues/Run Ons, Inter-character relationships Critique Requested: Someone who'll pick over the plot issues and inconsistancies, and how the characters relate amongst each other. Critique Tolerance: High: harshness is appriciated Experience & Goals: First novel, I just want this as complete and well-done as possible. Method of Communication: Email Anything else? Disclaimers?: It's not fully completed yet, so anyone who's open to critiquing around Febuary would be lovely! :D It's pretty gory, violence-wise.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

harrypoter4ever — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 16:18:28 -0600

Title: The Sapphire Chain Length, Draft and Language: Unfinished, English, first draft Brief Summary (not more than 300 words) Falyn is mysterious teenager. Nobody knows her. One morning she wakes up in a hospital having no memories. She runs away from the hospital and meets two people. Kieran Blackthorne and Gabriel Rivter. Both ran away. All of them have a bonded with a wild animal. A falcon, wolf, and stag. All six of them have telepathic abilities. They have to an use object belonging to Falyn to defeat their foe. Can they do it? Sub Genre & Keywords: Adventure Known Issues: Character relationships, pacing Critique Requested:Someone who is picky about grammar and plot Critique Tolerance: High Experience & Goals: First time, aiming to get it published Method of Communication: email

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

TheatreLvr08 — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 09:25:32 -0600

Title: Untitled Length, Draft, and Language: Approx. 51, 800 words, first full draft (most parts have been revised numerous times, by myself and others), English. Brief summary: Eliza Laraway is dying. In 2033, at twelve years old, she was diagnosed with the Attenuate Virus, a disease that has killed all those afflicted within three years of infection. Nearly three years later, Eliza enters into the final and worst stage of her illness, and the doctors have little expectation of finding a cure in time. On her fifteenth birthday, a boy named Jonah Teagan breaks into Eliza's hospital room, claiming to have a cure for AV and guaranteeing her a dose if she comes with him. Figuring that she has nothing to lose, Eliza elects to go. What follows is not only the journey of her life, but the journey to save her life. SubGenre & Keywords: Friendship, death, quest, treatment, illness Known Issues: Though I was able to make up a lot of the medical stuff due to it being a made up disease and sci-fi, I'm sure there are some medical constants that I've gotten wrong. I show rather than tell more frequently than I should. Critiqued Requested: The plot and its pacing, the realism of the dialogue, characters, and reaction to illness. Any other feedback is welcome, too. Critique Tolerance: Give it to me. Experience & Goals: This is my third completed novel. I wouldn't mind publishing it someday. Method of Communication: NaNo mail initiall,y then e-mail. Anything else? Disclaimers? I am sorry to write this, but please only take the novel if you're willing to critique it and send it back. It sounds silly, but for the past two years, there has been a person or two that never gets back to me at all. I am perfectly fine with you taking months to read it; I would just like feedback eventually :)

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

rosainverno — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 13:36:25 -0600

Title: Legend of League Park Length, Draft and Language: 50,000; draft 2; English Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): Gioia Rinaldi is the star pitcher of Tusky Valley's Girl's Softball Team, but she wants more. She wants to play professional baseball, but everyone around her says it's impossible for a girl. When her brother is recruited to Cleveland's farm team (The Akron Aeros), she wonders why he can have her dream and she cannot. She decides in college that she will work as hard as possible to play professional ball anyway. Audrey Dawson has been thrown for a loop as she learns that now her beloved father is sick with ALS. The only constant thing in her world is baseball and a love of the Detroit Tigers. In order to keep sports in her life, she decides to become a journalist covering baseball for the Wayne State newspaper but it's not as easy as she would like. When their worlds suddenly collide, the girls find themselves fighting for their dreams and a little help from old stadium ghosts certainly won't hurt matters any. Sub Genre & Keywords: High School; Sports; Baseball; Coming of Age; Feminism Known Issues: It's a bit choppy. I'm better at writing dialogue than description. Critique Requested: Everything, though I'd prefer focus on plot and flow Critique Tolerance: High. Please don't be rude, but no need to spare my feelings. Experience & Goals: This is my third novel, but first in this genre. I plan to publish independently. Method of Communication: e-mail Anything else? Disclaimers? None really. The book does have a feminist bent, but I try to keep soapboxing to a minimum.

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

Jewel Leigh — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 14:12:35 -0600

Title: SUMMER RUSH Length, Draft and Language: 90,000 words, draft seven, English Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): Self-proclaimed chocolate addict and daddy’s girl, Lexi Breckerson’s perfect world has two things: her dad and gymnastics. Then her gymnastics obsession starts affecting the rest of her life, and her dad threatens to send her to a mega strict gymnastics academy hours from home. She has to behave herself this summer or it’s bye-bye chocolate breakfast muffins, friends, and dad. With summer comes the annual visit of Lexi’s arch-nemesis, the shamelessly wicked yet disarmingly funny Rush, and it’s impossible for her to behave when he’s around. The moment he starts flirting with her best friend, all plans for a truce go out the window. There will be retaliation, consequences be darned. When Lexi’s actions endanger Rush’s life, her perfect world starts to crumble. Can she face giving up everything if it means protecting the boy she’s come to love? Sub Genre & Keywords: Humor, romance, gymnastics, relationships, rivalry Known Issues: After seven drafts, I can’t find problems anymore, so that’s why I’m begging for help :) Critique Requested: Characterization, setting, pacing. Critique Tolerance: Extremely high. No holds barred. Experience & Goals: I want to start querying agents for this novel sometime this year. Method of Communication: Email Anything else? Disclaimers?: I’m not the fastest critiquer in the world because a) I like to take my time, and b) I have a lot of school, but I WILL critique all of what you give me and send it back to you as quickly as I can. I'm an English major and interned at a publishing house, so I like to think I'm a pretty good critiquer :)

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

thrilleraddict — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 11:49:24 -0500

Title: untitled as of now Length, Draft and Language: 50,846 words according to my Word Processor. 1st Draft. English Brief Summary (not more than 300 words): Stephanie Hunter is a normal high school student with a wonderful boyfriend. She has a past, but that's all over and done with. Until one day she finds a piece of paper in her locker. Then her life turns upside down. Sub Genre & Keywords: Suspense? stalker, stalking, rape, sex, boyfriend, love, abuse Known Issues: I usually write in first POV so this novel's a little different from my usual work. Critique Requested: Help on the description. As I said, I haven't worked much on this POV so the description probably isn't the best. Tell me if the characters are acting true to their personalities. And I just finished this first draft. Tell me what to change with the sex scenes, because I know they probably suck. ( It's my first time writing sex scenes. ) Critique Tolerance: Give me the truth, but say it nicely. Experience & Goals: Never published, I haven't finished the first draft of anything in a long time, if ever. Method of Communication: NaNoMail. ( My email's got some weird spam thing popping up in the little message tabs when I log on. >_< Don't want it to infiltrate my other emails and give everyone spam. ) Anything else? Disclaimers? There's some sex scenes between the two MCs ( protagonists ) and the lead FMC's parents. Conservative Christians will probably not want to read this story if they don't like sexual activity described or a few curse words. ( Only used near the end of the book a few times. I hate books where there's a cuss word to end every sentence. ) There's also a couple of rape scenes. I feel really nervous to even be thinking of letting anyone else read this first draft, but I know that having someone critique it will make it better. :)

Re: [YA & Children's Lit] Requests for Readers

twilight guardian — Wed, 23 May 2012 05:06:18 -0500

Title: Whinahin Length, Draft and Language: 50k only halfway done, 2nd Draft WIP, English. Brief Summary: Planes of existence fold over each other like layers. Separate, yet sharing the same space. A forest that holds magical creatures is in recovery after the tragedy of losing the leaders of their kingdom and adjusting to the unsettling knowledge that the replacement through heritage is a child. Alissa is a twelve year old with the responsibilities of her species being forced on her. She has no choice but to accept her role when inhabitants of the forest begin to fall ill and rips through the layers separating her world from ours begin to pop up in mass. Sub Genre & Keywords: Fantasy, YA Known Issues: Weak intro, a bit of telling instead of showing, lack of scenery description, weak middle and end to what has been written so far. Possible bad dialogue. Possible confusing events. Critique Requested: I want someone to help me with what I did right and wrong. Where my weak points are and possible suggestions on how to make it better. I want to learn better writing techniques and to fix writing messes or bad habits that I've most likely gotten myself in to. Grammatical errors, things that I can't fix with a simple grammar checker, etc. I would also like to know if how I have it written is at all entertaining or just a bore. There is also a bad area that I've written myself in to that I would like to correct, if anyone would be so kind as to help me with that. I can't move on to the rest of the novel without sorting this problem area out first. Critique Tolerance: I'm afraid I'm a bit of a wuss, but lay it on me! Experience & Goals: This is the first time I've written this much. My first NaNo All other experience I have is at most 4-6 chapters to a few fanfics. I also do paragraph role plays, but that requires certain writing methods that don't always translate to novel writing. I hope to finish this novel and get it published. Method of Communication: NaNo mail, Skype, Gaia Online, Yahoo mail/messenger Anything else? - A few bits of strong language here and there. Whining. Fight scenes with an instance of gore.