Weird Things To Think Of During Sex

Sometimes people think of the moment, others fantasize about someone else or they are someone else. But some people's minds really wander.... a funny example that comes to mind is from the show Friends - episode "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy" a moment between Ross and Chandler

Chandler: Okay. You know... you know when you're in bed. With a woman. And, uh, you know, you're fooling around with her. And you get all these, like, mental images in your brain, you know, like Elle MacPherson, or that girl at the Xerox place....
Ross: With the belly-button ring? Oh, mwaaa!
Chandler: I know! And then all of the sudden your Mom pops into your head. And you're like, "Mom, get outta here," you know, but of course, like, after that you can't possibly think of anything else, and you can't, you know, stop what you're doing. So it's kinda like, you're, you know... you know.... You don't know!
Ross: Your Mom? you're telling me... you're telling me about your Mom? What is the matter with you?
Chandler: You said...
Ross: I said, "share," not "scare!" Go sit over there!


ANYWAYS, I'm looking for weird / funny / strange / odd / "scary" things that run through people's mind as a comedic relief in a scene.

So care to share...and if you want....feel free to scare!

You want comic relief?

Have one of your characters reach for the TV remote and change channels mid sex. ;)

Lying on your back, you just happen to see over your lover's shoulder, and you can see the poster/photo on the wall and the people in it look like they're staring at you and everything is suddenly really awkward now.....

Or... it's not that you're bored, exactly, but you're running your fingers in his hair and you remember that you need to pick up shampoo, and suddenly every little chore you need to do goes filtering through your head (groceries, laundry, bills...)

Oh my. ;-)

I seem to be too focused for such stuff. But I could serve with some highly funny exterior complications...

Sudden "Did I remember to's"

Like you're suddenly convinced you forgot to turn your straightener off, or that you left the stove on, or you forgot to lock the front door.

Does your MC have a dog? Make it a big dog staring over the edge of the bed so all the lovers see are the eyes...watching...judging...and then finally timing a perfectly aimed cold nose to the butt.


I have three dogs...We have to lock them out of the bedroom.

Weird you mention dogs - Once had a girlfriend with a rotweiller, it was trained not to jump on the bed, but anything that hung over the edge was his. I used to watch his ears circling the bed like a shark around a boat waiting for a careless hand, foot or well anything...Very distracting.

The other was an image of a pilot in a biplane circling into the ground after being shot down. To this day I have no idea why that would intrude, but happened for months.

Giggling because of what's on the TV is rude and a sign the relationship is ending.

Lightning spiders. That's all.

Oh god, this feels really good but if he moves his hand two inches over is he going to feel the pimple on my ass? Will he notice? It's probably like a golf ball right now I know he'll be able to feel it maybe I should switch positions but if I get on top will he notice the extra slice of pizza pooching my belly out? Maybe I should just slide down the covers and give him a BJ, he won't notice anything then...

Friend of a friend jumped out of bed because she realized how to solve some kind of problem with her lab. He was, apparently, rather upset about it. True story.

Have one of them start humming the Marine Land jingle mid sex.

True story.

Looking over their partners shoulder and seeing a bird out the window. Wondering what kind of bird it is then almost asking the opinion of the partner.

I used to always get songs stuck in my head... but not a lot of strange thoughts.

Every time my partner bored me ( the younger me) I use to sing "If I only had a brain" (wizard of oz). However I think the worse thing I did was started playing games on the ceiling, like connect the dots or tic- tac -toe. However now I don't have that problem. Thankfully.

Maybe once they (if they) reach orgasm, have one of the characters shout out something completely unrelated -- like, for instance, "It was at 2:00!". Ties in with the whole thinking-about-errands-and-things-to-pick-up-at-the-store, they would get so wrapped up in that, they would just shout out whatever's on their mind. Like a hair appointment they missed, scheduled for 2:00.

*shrugs*

I've never had sex, so...I wouldn't know. Yet.

I keep thinking of star trek when I am with my boyfriend. He looked kinda like William shatner and when I realized it was in bed. Now I'll really be into it and think "beam me up Scottie" and I really have to concentrate on not laughing. Thankfully I laugh at climax, so it's a good cover...

The Italian movie about Farinelli (a prominent castrato in Italy back with that was legal) - shows him writing poetry while having sex. He was very -clearly- not into it even though the girl was. That scene made me LOL - so there's one if you really want to go to the extreme... - though your character would probably get -slapped- for -actually- writing or reading during it - so maybe just reciting some mentally or something like that.

(Don't throw stones at me - yes I know there is very much a debate whether Farinelli would or would not have been capable of having had so many amorous, physical escapades as the movie portrayed him as having. That's beside the point of this post).

Quoting Deliverance whilst pegging. That was a good day. Pretty much any movie reference. The first time with my ex I quoted Dune. Twice. Or being unable to stifle giggling. Not a malicious giggling, just unable to stop it. Or in another case, somebody else in the bed (who's trying to sleep and not participating) talking to the active partners and actually asked them "What was that other 4 Non Blondes song I liked?" Any piece of random trivia: "Did you know vanilla and vagina come from the same root word meaning sheath?"

I have axolotls. They don't have eyelids. They can only stare. "Dude, your fish are staring at me." Added bonus for referring to one's partner as 'dude.'

Thinking about your nano plot :3

Through pressure of work you think of the email that you forgot to send. You could reach for your smart phone.

Mobile phone ring tone that makes you laugh.

A song that is played that makes you bounce in time to the music and boogie.