Funny Things Which Happened To You During Sex http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809 Coffeedrinker The title says it all. Sun, 30 Oct 2011 09:53:33 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_294111 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_294111 Lasergirl My ex husband and I were going through the book '101 Nights of Grrreat Sex: Secret Sealed Seductions for Fun-Loving Couples' which are little envelopes that have scenarios in them. They give you a very short teaser of what is inside, but you don't know what's in there until you open them. Our deal was that we'd pick one out for each other and we'd both do one each week. We'd each done a few and they were fun, so we kept going until one fateful evening... My ex ended up having to do a strip tease and also give me something romantic during the striptease that I could keep. Like a reverse tip. Bless his heart, he tried. My ex dances like a puppet handled by a Tourette's victim on crack, but he tried. We were both trying hard not to laugh, and I had to keep viciously pinching myself not to bust out laughing. He is finally down to the money shot and whips his shorts off to reveal a glinting, shiny gold something nestled at the base of his shaft. He had bought a herringbone bracelet and wrapped it around himself so it looked like a cock ring while he was dancing. Meaning to show my loving appreciation, I went to pull off my gift and ended up yanking out a whole bunch of hair that had gotten entangled in the herringbone's intricate slivers. It would not have been so bad had my ex not yelped and jerked back, which made me jump back, but unfortunately with my fingers still inside the loops of the bracelet. Sincerely meaning to say I was sorry, somehow out of my mouth came "OMG, I have got to tell my girlfriends." I tried over and over to apologize without snorting from trying to hold back my laughter. We spent the evening with a movie, popcorn, ibuprofen, a cold pack, and the silent treatment. lol Sun, 30 Oct 2011 20:27:34 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_302779 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_302779 Coffeedrinker I once had a spontaneous date with a longtime friend and bottom for a playparty, calling him in the afternoon whether he felt like scening in the evening and he accepted with only minor hesitation in his voice. It had been touch and go for me, because I'd a cold and just stopped sniffling that afternoon (nothing as awful to watch as a sadist with a handkerchief constantly blowing her nose). At this party it is the norm that you play publicly, surrounded by at least a couple of dozen if not way more people at each station. My friend was slightly edgy while we waited for our turn at the Saint Andrews, but whenever I asked what his problem was he shrugged and smiled sheepishly, claiming it was nothing. He is one hell of a gorgeous guy, 6 feet tall, dark hair, huge grey eyes, nice face, very muscular not too bulky frame with broad shoulders, a bit of a runner's or swimmer's figure. People gather when we play. And so they did then as well. Something was definitely not "right" as he was squirming and clenching his butt and when I took off his thong this just got worse. So I started off and even though the music was quite loud I thought I heard faint "echos" with each whup of the warming up flogger. And he was really squirming at the cross now, making gyrations I did not understand at all. Onlookers also noticed and started to giggle, especially when my next hard slap brought on an echo so loud I finally realised what was happening. He was farting with every slap! I tested my theory, and yes, every slap elicited an immediate fart. I doubled over laughing then, couldn't keep my act together, I laughed till I cried. I couldn't even look at him, I immediately split up again, and after my first peals he laughed as well and also was unable to stop (which DID warm him up very nicely). So when I got back some air, I sidled up close to him, and tried to find out what was wrong. He wailed and wanted to know whether I didn't smell it and then we both laughed again, because of course I didn't, my nose was closed from the cold. After that he was able to let go of his shame over the fact that he'd eaten a dish of beans and bacon earlier that day and quite simply had bloated beyond recourse by the time he met me. Well, we did have us a nice scene after the comic relief, but it is one which I always will very fondly remember... Mon, 31 Oct 2011 06:52:55 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_315672 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_315672 BaKa-NEKO Aside from violent bouts of elbowing each other in the face, I've fallen off the bed on a number of occasions (Tiny college dorm-grade bed, trying to balance on the edge of it). I've dealt with my suitemate taking sort of loud poops in the bathroom while I was having sex, too. My boyfriend and I had a good chuckle about that. Shame, I was thinking that I'd have a lot to offer, but I guess it turns out that most of the funny stuff happens immediately before or after sex. Looks like I'll have to go out of my way to stir up some trouble &gt;:3 Wed, 02 Nov 2011 04:50:58 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_378800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_378800 Jylland Came on her forehead, dragged it across with my thumb while I whispered, "Simbaaah" into her ear. Wed, 02 Nov 2011 05:17:28 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_379422 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_379422 Heartside The times my head hits the wall or he lets out an involuntary snort during a moan are especially hilarious. :p Queefing is also always a source of laughter. Wed, 02 Nov 2011 08:19:08 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_382817 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_382817 royalcarrot Consulted the hubby for some moments he found hilarious aside from the typical falling off the bed/couch etc. The best one involves our kitty though. Miss Zelda is a wonderful cat but she's also 17 pounds of fierce, clawed, war-beast. A few months ago while we were having a tumble I became aware of her tail tickling my toes. I kept squirming my leg further up his to try and get away from her which enticed her to a) notice that my toes were wiggling around under the sheet and b) to naturally give chase. I cracked up, called time out, and sat the kitty aside the bed. Five minutes back into the heat of things she attacked his hand. Lather, rinse, repeat. Finally I reached up and put her in the padded cat bed in the window over the bed that is hers, scolded her, and shut the curtains behind her. Everything went well until she decided to rejoin the fun by leaping down from the window directly onto hubby's head knocking his face forward into mine and splitting my lip, bloodying his nose, and causing both of us to alternately scream and laugh. Neither of us could deal with our respective injuries because one look at the other would send us off again. I kept waiting for the police to show up from all the screaming, find us both covered in blood, and be convinced we were brawling. Miss Zelda for her part finally got the cuddles she wanted, but since we've taken to shutting her outside the bedroom when we can for fun times. :P Second funniest time needs a little explanation. On our first major vacation together celebrating our 9 year anniversary and long overdo we rented a cabin in the woods. I never drink because I have the lowest possible tolerance for alcohol but we had wine coolers with our hot tub soaking and I was well and truly tipsy. We decided to curl up on the couch with a movie which happened to be My Neighbor Totoro, IMDB it if you haven't seen. It's very good and very sweet. Later in bed, still tipsy and very giggly some odd noises on the roof kept drawing my attention. I suddenly announced mid-coitus that it was Totoro come to take me away on a magical adventure, screamed of course at the top of my lungs. Hubby hasn't let me live it down to this day but I do have quite the Totoro collection out of it. ;) Wed, 02 Nov 2011 18:01:30 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_395270 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_395270 gardenswing This wasn't exactly sex, but it was pretty funny. One night, while I was sleeping next to my boyfriend, my foot was incredibly itchy. I was comfortable and didn't want to move too much, so I used one foot to scratch the other vigourously. Out of nowhere, my boyfriend sidled up to me and started caressing me. This surprised me because it was quite late and we were both tired. I told him gently that I was too sleepy to start anything, and he was okay with that. I started scratching my foot again. He asked me, "Are you scratching yourself?" I told him, yes I was. He said "Oh. That's not what I thought you were doing." I guess my vigorous motion made him think of something else! I'm surprised he wasn't annoyed that I turned him down, if that's what he thought I was doing. Thu, 03 Nov 2011 01:40:37 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_411396 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_411396 oneautumnday My god, this is a thread almost custom-built for me. I have: Farted during orgasm (come now, who hasn't?) Sneezed while on top of a guy (he said it felt pretty amazing) Scratched the hell out of a guy's leg during a position change Come within seconds of peeing in a trash can while my partner apologized to his roommate's visitng parents about the noise Had a cat come sit on my face while on my back Thu, 03 Nov 2011 04:31:16 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_417122 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_417122 bettchan I got bit by a mosquito. While I was being tied up. D: Thu, 03 Nov 2011 16:12:11 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_429368 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_429368 dee-fault Sometimes silly songs pop into my head for no reason. This is all very well and good when I'm cooking or playing video games or whatever, but mid-sex? Not so good. Especially when I can't help either laugh at the lyrics or start singing them. This utterly, utterly baffles my boyfriend. On one occasion I started giggling to myself (everything is so much funnier when you're trying not to laugh), smiling, bf asked what was up. So, naturally I sang him the little ditty that I had not heard nor thought about since primary school: On Top of Spaghetti, that old favourite. To my shock and horror, bf had never heard the song, so I ended up teaching him all the words and the two of us sang the song about four times together while we were still having sex. It was a special, wonderful experience to say the least! Thu, 03 Nov 2011 16:54:21 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_430463 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_430463 Zinnith My sort-of-BF and I are both plus-size. Let's just say that some positions work better than others and some positions does not work at all. Also, I have a tendency to start guffawing whenever something goes wrong. The first time it happened, I had a hard time explaining to him that I wasn't laughing at <em>him</em>, I was laughing at the absurdity of the situation. Fri, 04 Nov 2011 21:39:48 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_471111 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_471111 apriljoanne It seems since getting married I can never not have sex without my pants completely disappearing. Seriously. There is a pants eating monster somewhere in my mattress. Other than that, nothing stands out so I'll have to think about it for awhile. Fri, 04 Nov 2011 22:09:01 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_472037 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_472037 apriljoanne Oh! I remembered one! :D Guys parents came home randomly and I had to hide under the bed and sneak out the window. Kind of awful in the moment but pretty hysterical now. Especially since the whole experience disoriented me so much, I got on the wrong bus and went 40 minutes in the wrong direction! Fri, 04 Nov 2011 22:10:25 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_472083 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_472083 stuthehistoryguy My old girlfriend and I had the most adorable dog in the free world, but he would not leave us alone when we made love. He's part scenthound, and one particular scent that he's attracted to is, shall we say, uniquely female. You can fill in the blanks, but let's just say that, had we WANTED the dog to do what he did instead of trying to avoid it at all costs, we could go to jail (well, maybe not in West Virginia :) Sat, 05 Nov 2011 03:55:36 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_481273 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_481273 i am the moon Isn't this also a text from last night? Sat, 05 Nov 2011 20:41:38 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_498671 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_498671 stuthehistoryguy [quote=dee-fault] Sometimes silly songs pop into my head for no reason. This is all very well and good when I'm cooking or playing video games or whatever, but mid-sex? Not so good. Especially when I can't help either laugh at the lyrics or start singing them. This utterly, utterly baffles my boyfriend. On one occasion I started giggling to myself (everything is so much funnier when you're trying not to laugh), smiling, bf asked what was up. So, naturally I sang him the little ditty that I had not heard nor thought about since primary school: On Top of Spaghetti, that old favourite. To my shock and horror, bf had never heard the song, so I ended up teaching him all the words and the two of us sang the song about four times together while we were still having sex. It was a special, wonderful experience to say the least! [/quote] This sounds incredibly romantic, actually. You really need to use this. Sat, 05 Nov 2011 20:56:23 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_499089 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_499089 Laughing Panther I had a partner who throught it would be great to tie me up and then use magic shell (the ice cream stuff) to make molds of my body. Except she didn't realize that what you pour it on has to be cold for it to word. She kept yelling "it wont go hard, it wont go hard!" Once I figured out what was going on I nearly died laughing! Tue, 08 Nov 2011 15:57:24 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_575035 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_575035 serotonin My partner and I just discussed this story, with sound effects. Tue, 08 Nov 2011 16:18:27 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_575411 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_575411 serotonin While tying someone in the dark, I shifted position and slammed my knee into her nose, nearly breaking it. My partner mentioned getting a foot cramp during sex. The resulting howls (of OH MY GOD pain) made her partner at the time think he was the best lover ever. Tue, 08 Nov 2011 16:22:15 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_575485 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_575485 Shannanigan After eating All-You-Can-Eat hot wings one night, and really eating all I could, I was giving a guy road head while he drove to pick up a friend of ours. At a stop light, he took the opportunity to shove my head harshly onto him. Usually, I have no problem with this. This time, with a belly packed full of wings and bleu cheese, he managed to hit my gag reflex just the right way. Partially digested hot sauce, chicken, and dressing, pretty sure ALL of the contents of my stomach...all over his lap. I apologized profusely, but then just started laughing. He didn't know how to respond at first, seemed to realize that it was either laugh or cry, and thankfully chose to laugh. We pulled over near some woods; he used his boxers to wipe off as much as the mess as he could, and tossed them in a dumpster. He made me finish the job after showering later that night. No reference to wings after that was ever the same again between us. Tue, 08 Nov 2011 18:45:06 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_578102 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_578102 JamesComstock My roommate did that last time his ex was over... totally heard it happen from the other room XD Wed, 09 Nov 2011 00:26:23 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_585662 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_585662 JamesComstock One of my exs and I were in her parents basement and her younger (like, 10-year-old) sister came down and said she was bored and wanted to know what we were doing. We'd barely had time to cover ourselves with a blanket so we told her we were cuddling and watching a movie. She wanted to know if she could join. Well of course my ex couldn't say no... her sister grabbed another blanket and cuddled in with us and we spent the next half hour trying to get clothed without the little girl figuring out what was going on. And we only had a half hour because when the movie ended we had to go to supper. Awkward at the time but hilarious afterwards Wed, 09 Nov 2011 00:39:39 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_585946 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_585946 Bella Bonnie Hi guys, I'm not even in your genre, sorry for board hopping, just procastinating...but something funny did happen just the other week. I was looking for my underwear. Everywhere. Now it's quite important I locate the crumpled knickers as I have a cleaner who comes in every morning and he (yes it's a he!) makes my bed and I'd hate for him to find it. He's had to deal with worse before, but still. So I look and I look. I turn the bedroom upside down. Hubby is lying gorgeously on the bed, but not helping. I think he should because he's the one who threw them. And then I see the whithered thing. It's on MY BABY's head. She's still happily sleeping in her cot at the bottom of our bed... Wed, 09 Nov 2011 18:38:59 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_600787 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_600787 wildecross I was recovering from whooping cough (which took about 4 months) and was messing around with my ex one night... let me say that my coughing fits associated with that illness set off my gag reflex rather often and apparently cold also made it worse. I had eaten ice cream before we started going at it and I was on top. My throat started to itch and the fit started up--these coughing fits could last for a while ranging from a few minutes sometimes...or more. I was still on top and being penetrated as I was coughing repeatedly, trying to suck in enough air (sounding quite terrible in that endeavor) and I felt the gag reflex start to catch in warning. I managed to not throw up on him directly, but right next to him. He was kind of creeped out...I can't remember if we finished or not. On another occasion when I lived with my parents they came home unexpectedly early one night and I needed to get dressed post-haste. I hopped off of my bed and stepped on a glass jewelry box that I had forgotten about... the lid shattered, but I reacted fast enough to not get glass in my foot which would have probably tripled the amount of time it would take me to dress. The guy I was with commented on my cat-like agility. Wed, 09 Nov 2011 20:12:08 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_602524 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_602524 L0VEjoy this literally just happened to me. My gf went out to eat with her mom and i figured i would have time to masterbate before she got back. well, i guess i took too long cause she came back home. i didnt hear her come in because i had headphones on, and i was in the room with the door (i thought) locked. she came in a started laughing at me. i got real embarrassed. she left the room, and i was about to end it, i lost the mood, but she came back in. i thought she was going to laugh again, but she came over to me without a word, and starting giving me a blowjob. Wed, 09 Nov 2011 20:21:58 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_602721 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_602721 Walt3rd We were making out, and a bit more, on the Sleeper train that travels between London and Scotland one night, both a bit drunk, and we were in a 2nd class sleeper, which has beds similar to bunk beds. We were on the top bunk....when the train suddenly put on it's brakes. Good things they have straps to keep you from falling, that's all I'm going to say..... Thu, 10 Nov 2011 08:27:12 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_615108 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_615108 pythie Yeah, I can have periods in the heat of sexual activities where it turn out funny. It's usually what I say or my partner says and we both end up in laugh. It's a bit hard to calm down and be more serious after those unintended punch line. But it's great for releasing tension! Thu, 10 Nov 2011 15:48:50 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_618886 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_618886 studentofrhythm I'll just say: A man should wear gloves if he handles hot chiles beforehand. Otherwise . . . And smearing cold yogurt on afterwards as an antidote might not be that much better. Thu, 10 Nov 2011 19:49:07 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_622842 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_622842 i am the moon Hahaha maybe he's the original texter! :D You are living with a legend, my friend. Thu, 10 Nov 2011 21:25:34 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_624721 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_624721 jonsbride1009 i read this and squeaked with laughter to the point i woke my husband. i currently can't breathe with hysterical laughter. Sun, 13 Nov 2011 06:55:06 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_671550 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_671550 Pixelsheen I have two. In college, in my dorm room, my (at the time, new) boyfriend and I are...attempting a new position, let's say. I had a single room and it was summer term, so we were being a bit rowdy with it, and then BLAM!!!!!! The transformer, that was about 4 feet outside my dorm's window, blew!! My poor boyfriend quite literally appeared to FLY across the room, ending up crouched in the corner. I fell of the bed and rolled under it. We ended up looking at each other for a few terrified breaths, then laughed so hard I thought my ribs were going to break. Second! My fiance (same fella as above) and I are in the basement of his parent's place. It's the middle of the night (like, past midnight) and since we'd been up playing video games, we weren't tired. So we started fooling around and things have gotten quite serious when he pauses (still perched above me) and cocks his head, then leaps out of our 'bed' that we'd made on the floor, grabs his underpants, and races into the bathroom. I'm laying there just utterly lost, when his little sister, his mom, and his step-dad come down the stairs!! A TORNADO warning had just gone off! His parents gave me the "what's going on here" look, then my fiance came out of the bathroom and talked to the family while I (trying not to laugh) wriggle around under the blanket getting dressed. =P Mon, 14 Nov 2011 07:06:29 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_688169 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_688169 ikemiker This is just like what i was going to post. One night (man, many years ago) I was parking with my then BF and we were having sex, my feet were waaaaay up in the air, and suddenly I got the worst foot cramp of my life, in both feet. I started screaming, "My Feet!!! MY Feet!!" and BF was completely confused, he thought my toes were touching the interior light, and maybe it was hot or something. Tue, 15 Nov 2011 05:29:24 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_703941 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_703941 Relocation Why was she laughing at you? Tue, 15 Nov 2011 06:37:06 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_704729 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_704729 Wiseferret An ex described that as "Pussy distraction technique"- the cattus interuptus that is. Wed, 16 Nov 2011 00:05:20 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_715859 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_715859 Seafoam I was having sex with my ex and and someone kept calling me over and over again and I wouldn't answer it. My Bill Nye the Science Guy ringtone kept going off. We both kept singing the theme song while we were going at it anyway. See, nerds can get laid :P Wed, 16 Nov 2011 03:28:06 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_718257 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_718257 Junk Box 99 OW. Gotten that stuff in my eyes enough times to know how it feels. I've had my hands burn from cutting up severely hot peppers! Heard a related story from someone who worked in a restaurant that had a sauce made with habañero peppers. Guy sorting ingredients forgot to wash his hands BEFORE going to the bathroom. The boss let the guy go home for a shower... once the laughter died down. Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:51:39 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_726212 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_726212 Junk Box 99 <a href="http://xkcd.com/400/" rel="nofollow">http://xkcd.com/400</a> Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:53:32 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_726234 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_726234 Seafoam hahaha that's incredibly appropriate!! Thu, 17 Nov 2011 04:20:09 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_735029 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_735029 kitten2469 oh wow.. lets see.. I've had both my cat and my dog crawl over my legs and over my hubby's legs while we were having sex. I had one of my cats actually try and play with my toes and no matter how high I pulled my leg and feet up he kept chasing my toes. Of course all women have the occasional qweef (darn spelling) during sex.. those are always fun. I've almost feel off of the bed and the arm of the couch. Thankfully never had the hot pepper incident.. but I find mint tooth paste can be very refreshing. My ex and I were getting it on and I was on the bottom.. he always pulled out even when I was on BC. So after a particularly vigorous evening, he pulled out, shot his load and I ended up with it not only on my head but in my eyes. I burned so badly, and almost instantly my eye lashes started to glue together. I was hollaring at him the whole time he was laughing and walking to the kitchen to get a rag. It was so wasn't funny to me. Lets see.. I've had coughing fits during sex. Thankfully have never puked during sex no matter how drunk. I was once screamed loud enough that the neighbor who lived behind my ex's parents house heard me, even with the windows closed in both houses. That was sort of embarasing in that "Yeah that was me" sort of way. This wasn't sex.. but my hubby and I were actually making out in the back of the Church van after a concert. :-) We were all the way in the back and had the thing so steamed up that every window in the van was fogged up. I know that somebody had to wonder what we were doing, but since it was full of other married couples, no body said a word. lol That's all I got for now... but I'm sure there has to be more. lol Thu, 17 Nov 2011 21:44:43 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_744289 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_744289 Sodapop34 I don't have much, other than one time my boyfriend had me against the wall and dropped me! it didn't hurt that bad, as we never tend to pick up our clothes and there was a nice squishy pile to land on! May i add, i really enjoyed reading this thread! Fri, 18 Nov 2011 05:05:47 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_749626 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_749626 Spirit Bear Sliding off the full wave water bed because of the satin sheets. The cat jumping up and either standing on me, or getting in my face wanting to know what is wrong, and what is going on. My mother calling. Fri, 18 Nov 2011 17:17:32 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_754271 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_754271 KitsuneAsika I love Totoro, and that story made me giggle my head off. Sat, 19 Nov 2011 06:57:23 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_763201 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_763201 Dragon Gate Oh my gosh, I haven't laughed this hard in weeks! Wow. That's one for the record books. Tue, 22 Nov 2011 12:37:53 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_803016 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=1#forum_thread_comment_803016 Dragon Gate I was fooling around with a guy and we're of the school that covers just get in the way. So we're on top of the blankets, stark naked, with him down by my knees putting his fingers to enthusiastic use. I'm close, open my eyes, and see his black cat standing on the dresser at the head of the bed staring at us bug-eyed with a look on her face that just screamed "What cha doin?" She could have had the caption "Basement cat is watching you fornicate" His fingers, and the rest of him, kinda lost enthusiasm. Tue, 22 Nov 2011 13:47:23 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_803398 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_803398 Maydeleh I had a jury-rigged shelf at the foot of my bed, very creative, a board balanced on a futon frame. It looked great. I just didn't realize the new bed with, with sufficient encouragment, nudge it loose. There was stuff on it. A lot of stuff. So we hit a high point, and the shelf pulls loose, and crashes down on the bed, and both of us scream. Wed, 23 Nov 2011 04:58:11 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_813420 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_813420 Clairabel I'm not an erotica writer, but I thought I'd hop in on the conversation! Me and my ex were at school at the time of our being together, and his parents being the strictest parents I knew had banned him from seeing me during exam time. It was horrible, I missed him so much. The one Sunday, the night before our Maths GCSEs, he told me his parents were going to an Indian wedding - they'd be out all day so I could come over. We hadn't seen each other for six weeks, so when we got through the door, it started. When we got upstairs it obviously all got a little animalistic and we went at it like the clappers. At one point he suggested we go downstairs in the nude and get some sexy food. Yes, sexy food. I laughed and said no because I thought it was a silly thing to do. Good job really. His parents came home ten minutes later - and we were still naked! I could've died, we had to dress really quickly, lie about me being there to revise with him, then I had to get out quick. Not only did he get in massive trouble for having me over, he had to stand in front of his desk where he discarded the condom, and explain why there was a sorta bloody stain on the bedsheets (We hadn't been doing it for long...) As I went home, I cringed about our near-miss - and could've died when I remembered his suggestion at going downstairs! What if we'd been caught! Good times. Shame he hates me now. Wed, 23 Nov 2011 22:17:46 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_822351 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_822351 angonzo My boyfriend and I were heatedly making out to music from my iPod. Just as we started to get hot and heavy, the song started to play "Dude Looks Like a Lady". Needless to say, we burst out laughing and the moment was lost. Wed, 23 Nov 2011 22:50:28 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_822779 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_822779 La Luna Unita SO glad this has happened to someone else, too... well, not happy that it happened to YOU, but you know what I mean. Misery loves company in this case! Sat, 26 Nov 2011 04:09:29 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_847207 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_847207 murphyslawyer I like water. Combine water, soap, and my guy's hands, and I get ideas in my head. But we have problems with that because my shower is annoying small, so I usually get pushy, tell him to get out of the shower, and we end up in my room across the hall. And then, at some point, he comments that we got the bed all wet and all I can do is laugh and say "Who cares?" Also had the bug-eyed pet incident happen. I'll be on the bottom, enjoying all that's going on---and then I turn my head, open my eyes, and holy shit, there's the dog staring at me like "HI!" &gt;.&lt; Sun, 27 Nov 2011 04:27:12 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_858589 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_858589 calenlily Grabbing a condom and just before getting it open realizing what I grabbed was actually a lube packet. My bf banging his head on the bottom of the top bunk getting into bed. Me putting my underwear on inside out afterwards (and of course he had to tease me about "Harder than it looks?" All of which are quite minor, almost inconsequential things. But the funny part is, all of these happened on the same night. And that night was our first time (and therefore there were also all the little awkwardnesses that come with that.) Actually, here's another good one from our first time. When he was first attempting to enter me, he could not find the hole. He did not seem to process the fact that he did not have particularly fine motor control in the pelvic region. You know that scene in <em>Return of the King</em> where Shelob is chasing Frodo kind of awkwardly jabbing with her stinger? That image popped into my head and I absolutely could not get it out. Mon, 30 Jan 2012 11:27:07 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_1102030 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_1102030 ashleynichols I had a friend with benefits early on in college, but he was a virgin and wanted to wait awhile before going 'all' the way. Silly kid. We're fooling around one night and tried for anal. The following conversation followed. Me: "[insert name of partner], you're inside me." Partner: "Yeah, I know." Me: "No, you're INSIDE me." So that was how he lost his virginity. I've heard of wrong hole experiences but normally it's the other way around. Tue, 14 Feb 2012 15:28:31 +0000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_1139044 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_1139044 Hope Lanchett Elbowed my boyfriend in the face punched myself in the face giggled while on top (which he rather approved of) Generally, we laugh a lot Mon, 26 Mar 2012 23:41:52 +0100 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_1240643 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/erotic-fiction/threads/14809?page=2#forum_thread_comment_1240643