Gay sex???

I have a gay sex scene and it is really important to the plot of the character.

I read a lot of slash but cause I'm not a guy I have no idea how to write it, I only really understand sex from a girls point of view which makes this really hard, I've tried this [writing gay sex] before but it always turns out super shit.

Please help me someone.

I found the most erotic gay fection to be written by women. Have you ever read K.A. Mitchell's books? She's phenomenal! And she only writes MxM. She would be a great reference for a scene done well, and she has quite a few books out there (available in ep-format as well as print).

I've found that the best way to write an erotic scene with two male characters is to primarily use the bottom's POV. It's just been my experience, when posting my pieces on the Web where you get reviews, that my readers are mostly looking for this type of POV. Strangely enough, I find my het scenes harder to write. LOL!

What in particular do you find is your sticking point?

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Well, it's difficult to say without being too explicit, so I'll stick to some main points (moderators please edit at your discretion if necessary):

1) There can never be too much lubrication used, ever. The sort of lubrication boys can use is different from what girls can use. Which isn't to say girl's can't use it at all, you just don't want it touching your female parts, and if that's so necessary, it makes it less appealing to use at all.

2) Relaxation is important. If you open your mouth, it will relax your other orifices more. Good trick to know. Nothing can be forced pleasantly.

3) There is a "ring" to get past, which widens with relaxation, and calm, caring, persistence. This can break though, and once gone cannot be replaced very well... another issues than can be run into is "blow out," where the insides get pulled outside on exit... :( (It's amazing how many prosthetic surgeries are done on this area)

4) The prostate gland is stimulated via anal sex in men, and acts as a G-spot. This is probably why women, while they can enjoy anal sex, never get to enjoy it as much as men do.

5) A gay male friend of mine said (and others in the conversation agreed) that it is akin to the best bowel movement ever... I have to imagine then that having a prostate makes that more enjoyable for guys too?

If you have gay friends and you feel comfortable doing so, ask them to read what you've written and provide some "real-world" perspectives on what would and wouldn't "fly" during an actual gay sex scene. You can qualify it by saying you don't want to get overly personal or pry into their own sex lives, but just want an objective point of view. Usually, people will be cool with giving you some constructive crit as to where you're going astray. :p

Speaking from personal experience here. If you have any burning questions that you can't get answered you can nanomail me.

To begin, a lot of gay couples don't have anal sex at all, because it doesn't appeal. In this case oral sex proceeds much like between straight couples.
Some gay couples use condoms, primarily to avoid STIs. But even if they know they have no such infections, they might use them anyway to reduce the amount of cleanup required afterwards. It depends on the person.
You have to go slowly with anal sex; just trying to stick it in there will be very painful and can cause serious injury (which was my problem with brokeback mountain. Just licking your fingers and rutting away wouldn't work.) The most common method is for the top to loosen the bottom up by inserting one finger, then a second when he's used to one, then usually moving onto the penis when he's used to two.
You can use water-based or silicon-based lubricant. The former dries out after some time and may need to be topped up, the latter is really annoying to clean up.
The enjoyment from bottoming can come from the sexualisation of the ideal (getting off on the fact that you're doing it) and stimulation of the prostate (which is a small nub that's less than a finger's distance from the anus. The top doesn't need a large penis to give this stimulation to his partner) and also the feeling of "fullness" can be nice for some guys. It's (as I'm sure you could tell) an extremely intimate act, and the level of connection the bottom feels with the top can be thrilling.
I haven't used them myself, but poppers are quite popular. They're an inhaled drug that completely relax the muscles of the abdomen, which makes penetration a lot easier. However, they can have bad side-effects. Wikipedia will have more information if you're interested.

http://squidge.org/~minotaur/classic/eroc.html
Warning: Link is NOT safe for work. Mods, feel free to delete this post if this is not allowed!

There are lots of good pointers and tips here, and it's a resource I think most people writing m/m erotica should read.

If you're over eighteen, I'd suggest watching some gay porn. Obviously, visual pornography isn't always representative of real relationships or real sex (it tends to be more acrobatic and involve more positions than most people bother with, and it may focus on acts that look good on-screen but don't necessarily happen that much behind closed doors), but it's a good place to start, particularly if you choose the amateur genre. Also, a lot of the advice here is focusing on anal sex, but the focus on that tends to come from heteronormative expectations of what constitutes sex, which doesn't always apply to men who have sex with other men.

Thanks everyone with your comments, they've been really helpful, I am going to talk to my friend who is an exabitionist and wont have any problem talking to me about such things.

My characters wont use lube or things like that because of the time periode but other comments were helpful, going to use the poppers idea that was awesome.

Thank you all.

Well, you can either PM gay writers (happy to answer questions here), or it could be worth checking out writing written by gay men which have sex scenes. I know a few besides me if you'd like some ideas.

Cheers

Matt Lang

Minotaur's Sex Tips is also a pretty good reference:
http://squidge.org/~minotaur/classic/eroc.html

I don't know it this works for everyone else but I can write gay sex scenes by reading them. Tons of them. Try nifty.org, which has tons of gay erotica or gayauthors.org if your looking for more novel-ish stuff and not just stories (but you might have to dig deep on there to find actual sex scenes). I don't know if it will be easy for you to put what you read into your own words and to really understand what's going on but it works for me considering, I'm a girl who's straight and a virgin but can write gay fiction & gay sex scenes. So, again, read, read, read, so you can get an understanding as to how it works and how to put it into descriptive and erotic words.

For the couple in my book, talking is just as important as the actual "intercourse." It releases tension and builds trust. They talk about what they want and don't want, and the one who's new to sex asks a lot of questions. (ie: Why do you shave your chest hair? Answer: I like the look.) But it makes him feel comfortable, and it ends up working very well.

I also like including laughter in sex scenes. In one scene my bottom gets ticklish and can't stop laughing. Needless to say, he feels much better when his partner laughs with him rather than growls that sex isn't about laughter.

http://www.squidge.org/minotaur/index2.html

You can never underestimate Minotaur's Sex Tips for Slash Writers.

those fans of Minotaur know he died recently, right? RIP :(