Sharing your work with family/friends.

I'm in the middle of writing something that actually might be publishable (with a lot more hard work, and a LOT more editing.) The only thing is, I'm writing about really delicate material and I'm sure my book has a very key audience. I just feel very uncomfortable with relaying my excitement about my book to my family. I really want to share my excitement, but if it does get published I think I'd be really embarrassed if say, my dad reads it. Which I know he will want to do.

My question is how do you guys- other erotica writers, specifically writers of very taboo subjects- handle this sort of thing?

I've already told my mom about the subject of my book, and I've told her straight-up that she is under absolutely no obligation to read it simply because I'm her daughter. I think she was a little relieved to hear that, to be honest. I love her support and all, but I really don't think men having graphic sex with each other holds any interest for her, and I know she was thinking something along the lines of "oh god, I don't want to read this, but my daughter wrote it...what do I do??"

My dad definitely would have interest in reading this, haha. I'm not actually sure he knows what I'm writing about...I'm sure my mom has told him by now.

And my grandparents...hahahaha, no.

My friends, however, already know all about how pervy I can get. So yeah, if any of them are game, they can totally read it.

So far, my parents have just been over-the-top supportive of me and my writing because they know it makes me excited and happy to do it. So a healthy parental response would be such support, I would hope.

Everybody in my family and my husband's family know what I write and some have even read some of it. My parents are not the types to read erotica, so I'm safe there. But my mother-in-law read my book and promptly passed it along to other family members. My brother tried to read it but didn't really get it. No one has treated me differently -- honestly. I mean, what if I wrote detective novels about a gruesome serial killer and described that in great detail? Would they think I fantasize about doing that? I think people have a way of separating story telling from the story teller.

However, my friends tease me mercilessly. But that's what friends are for.

Huh. If I were to publish any of this, no, I don't think I would ever let my parents even know it existed. I love them, and they are very very supportive of me, and unless it's one of my more respectable writing projects, just no.

My husband wouldn't want to read it, because stuff with guys and guys is not his cup of tea. He would be supportive, just not, you know, reading-level supportive.

Friends I would be selective. Some of them would be very approving. Others might have issues with my particular subject matter. But it wouldn't be disastrous.

My parents think it's historical fiction. Which it is, just with a lot of graphic sex and sexualized violence.

rkammer, only two friends know that my NaNovel was originally outlined as an erotic novel. One of them teases me mercilessly, so I get what you mean about that.

My other friend isn't into heterosex but has expressed interest in reading out of curiosity and/or to help me out, which is nice.

But my family? Oh lord no. It's far too kinky. The only people who have read this so far have been my fiance and people who have one particular kink in common with me. This kink has a very sparse Zeitgeist, so I'm trying to contribute.

The more I think about it the more I worry about its publishability. The story deals with incest (consensual, between brother and sister.) With that rash of Amazon deleting incest erotica from its 'shelves' I just worry if any publisher would even want to pick it up.

Having a down night =/

I haven't written any erotica yet, but I'm planning on writing one soon. I haven't even written that story onto my novel page here yet because I'm not sure I even want the wrimos in my region to know. I figure if I ever write something that's good enough to be published, I'll put it under a different name or something, as I'm not sure my parents would ever be *that* supportive.

While what I'm writing isn't exactly erotica, it does have its erotic moments. I'm not crazy about the idea of sharing it with family entirely, but I'd let them read it if they want to. Just with a disclaimer as to what they can expect so they can bail if it weirds them out. Most of them wouldn't mind what I'm writing, I just don't know how they'd feel about it.
Friends? Sure, whatever. lol

I ventured into the erotica thread with actually a similair question. My novel is mainly thriller/crime but there are certain moments between my two female MC's where they do have sex but I cut out the scene before it gets too graphic because of the same reason and because my mother in law has offered to read it once I am finished editing....

My mother in law reads a lot, and she says herself there is graphic sex in plenty of them (hetero, homo, lesbian, whatever) and it doesn't bother her one bit - even if she is in her 70's. I am just unnerved by the idea of her reading MY work and reading that type of scene in something I wrote.

Any suggestions on how to overcome that?

omg, I'm so happy that I found this thread! This is a question that has been bothering me for quite a while now. every time my Mom finds me writing she leaves me alone, but afterwards she always asks what I'm writing about mainly because she sees I'm very excited about it and of course she's happy for me and curious about what could come out of it. the problem is that I write gay romance and some scenes are pretty graphic. I'm definitely old enough to write such stuff and me and my mother talk openly about sex with no problem. I also told her that sometimes (which is actually all of the time, but she doesn't need to know that) I read gay romance. However, if I'd ever get publish I'd be really embarrassed to tell her what my stories are actually about. I'm always vague about my answers when she asks what I write and I tell her romance or girls' stuff, but I can't help feeling that she'd be totally disappointed if she knew how erotic my scenes could get. not to mention my Dad. on the other hand, if I'd lie to her and tell her I write something else instead, she'd probably brag to all the extended family members and things would be even worse.
That's probably the reason why I don't think I'll ever have the courage to submit my works to any publisher, despite dreaming of seeing my stories wrapped in pretty shiny covers and fangirls writing nice reviews about them. hah... life is so unfair! Why must parents be so nosy!?

@Mysteriosflower, you could try giving her a personalized copy with the hot scenes cut out. or just tell her that the editor asked you to absolutely write sex scenes as a marketing strategy or something if that'll make you feel less shy.

Two words: pen name.

I don't mind sharing my work with my friends, but I'd spontaneously combust if someone in my family read it. :-)

My boyfriend, yes but with some editing. Other people, I guess not. Not even with editing. I am not ready and it's my first erotica anyway. I don't expect to publish it. I wanted to experiment out of my comfort zone and try something new. I'm satisfied with that. It was a success for my goals.

My family won't read my work. They just basically tell me that they don't care and that just because I'm related to them doesn't mean they have to care.

I wish this was my problem sometimes though.

I posted on my facebook that I'm finished with my work, and I will be publishing it on a blog, and not everyone will receive the blog address.

I treat my readers very well (not.)

My novel, though officially science fiction, has its erotic moments, which wouldn't be a big deal except that there are elements of BDSM, which I'm pretty sure my mother has no idea I KNOW about (much less write about). Thing is, though, my family is aware that writing a book is a big enough accomplishment that, even if they didn't want to read it, they support me. That's pretty much how I view books that aren't my cup of tea -- I'd rather not read it, but kudos to you for writing it.

My thirteen-year-old brother, however, is a different matter...not sure how I'm going to feel about that...

My family not just knows about the erotica I write, they are aware of me being a BDSM Top and poly.

They actually all like reading the books and my father as well as my brother have on occasion helped. ;-)

LOL - why do you think I'm not a woman?

Very much female here.

well, because it's just hard to imagine a father and a brother being so open minded about their precious girl. Kudos to you! your family rocks!

My family is really open about everything. My sister and my mom want to read my book once I'm done, and they're straight! I haven't heard anything from my dad, but he works weird hours and I don't see him much. I imagine he'd like to read it if he got the time. It doesn't bother me...my family knows I'm pervy anyway. They're good free editors too, which will be important if I ever try to get published.

I'm late to the topic... but, still wanted to say, I've shared with my sister in law (who was less judgy than i thought she'd be). I've let my brother read only screened chapters LOL, and i told my mom what i'm writing. She was supportive, but embarrassed, the convo was quite hilarious. She still wanted to read something, so i wrote a short - not smutty - story just for her.

Also, i totally agree with the pen name suggestion.