Male feelings during sex in a relationship

Briefly: he has just married his bride (a virgin). He is experienced yet loves her deeply. He wants to make love with/to her without scaring her. So far so good. However,, I'd like a bit of input as to the male experience during sex: the buildup, the climacteric and afterwards. Also how it feels to be masturbated by your female partner and given oral sex. Thx for any help x

Good question, I'd like to know also!

Answered similar threads and been criticised as Neanderthal in my tenderness. I also point out that reality isn’t (IMHO) what a reader wants when they pick up Erotica.

I suspect 99% of the feelings and experiences are similar. Nervous about how good compared with (not relevant for your question) excited by the feel of the flesh. Remember guys don’t have the whole body erogenous zone thing. This means that a large part of the stroking/ massage/ head & foot rubbing is only done to add pleasure for her. However, raising her to an orgasm orally, or manually is intoxicating and befuddling.
I suspect the “release” is similar. Every sense focused in a single place, blackout/ flashing lights.

The other mechanics you asked about:

Masturbation – Exactly the same for both. Even though the parts are larger and easier to find it takes a lot of communication to get the feeling right. How hard/soft to squeeze. The speed and angle etc all of these are really just as important and don’t come naturally to either gender (IMHO), we have to learn about each other’s needs for it to be great. The other game that is the same – when yes means yes/ no means no/ yes means no / no means yes. You know what I mean. It’s all about to happen and you want the sensation to last forever, but then you also want the final stroke as well.

Oral – I think that for many, the offer of oral is a “special” treat and so when a woman is giving something “special” it seems churlish to say, ‘that’s not all that pleasant,’ This is a personal feeling – I am looking for a tight, hot, wet place, that’s got the added interest of something inside that plays an active part of the game. I really never expect teeth – but hey!
Suction, pressure and angle all count and need to be communicated/ learned. I don’t think any woman has the knowledge built in – but how would I know? I don’t know all women!

Tried to be a honest /candid as possible.

Seems to me that there are many myths in the world. That all guys feel/think/behave/act/believe in the same way is at best, an untruth. Certainly their are guys interested in perpetuating that belief, for a number of reasons.

I've never really been able to get into another's head and craw around, see just what they are thinking and feeling, I have however observed. Many people live their lives in fear, and that is true for both sexes, in my opinion, they want to hide. They believe they are safe, if they maintain a distance, if they remain detached.

There is in my opinion a difference between having sex, (a selfish act, the focus on me) and making love, (where I choose to focus on my partner, and her joy if you will)

To me oral sex, rather than making love orally ~ would be the more selfish act, and it's about illusion. There is the illusion of dominance that I'm in charge, in control, when my most vulnerable part is in someone else's mouth. A simple closing of jaws, and I could die very easy! Its about trust and surrender. Do we see it differently? I suspect that in the back of our heads we may very well see it differently. At least I suspect my partner never had the thought that I could bite down and she would bleed out? If I truly care about my partner, then there are limits. I want to believe I'm in control, but I don't want to turn my partner off. In one sense the deeper it is the better it feels, (to me) and I believe that is programmed into males, by biology. Now me I don't want to gag someone I claim to love. That's not what my concept of what love means. At odds with that is my desire to feel as much contact as possible, to experience as much sensations as possible. In my opinion it certainly can be more enjoyable for a male, than normal intercourse. The ultimate sex organ is the brain and what is going on inside it, what we are thinking and feeling, and imagining. What we are pretending.

I'm kind of curious, he is experienced? And he loves her? Is he honest? Really honest? Does he know himself? If he is, it seems to me that he knows at some level if he caused her to love him, he will cause her pain. Love doesn't happen with out pain! Love and pain are parts of the whole. Rather than worrying about causing her pain, I believe it would be more likely (if he truly loves her) that he would worry about giving her enough joy, enough pleasure. Making love with someone, is beautiful always. That other person is where ones mind is focused, on giving them pleasure, on taking them to new heights. If I'm truly focused on your joy, on what feels good to you, what need do I have to worry about causing you pain then? Granted if my focus is on me, on getting the maximum pleasure that I can, then yes I'll need to worry about your pain to some degree. But is that love? Or is that simply wanting to get the maximum use out of something before needing to replace it?