Useless Superpower

Okay, this thread isn't my idea. I just liked playing it last year and I don't think it's up yet, so we may as well start again.

Basically, you give the person below you a superpower they may not find completely helpful. So without further ado, I will assign the next poster the amazing ability to sense a few moments in advance that their telephone will wring. However, this premonition will cause them to space out and fail to answer said phone.

That sounds like a great superpower to me personally; I'd have an excuse other than fear of telephones to avoid answering them. Person below me has the amazing telepathic power.... to make people sneeze.

Ooh, how exciting!

The person below me has the power to conjure medium sized hairballs out of thin air.

*cackles*

The person below me has the ability to tell the time to miliseconds, without a clock.

The power to always have ingredients "line up" (i.e. your peanut butter and jelly always run out at the same time, as does your cocoa and marshmallows, chips and salsa, etc)

That's convenient!

The person below me has the ability to smell people and accurately find out their age based on scent.

Mwa ha ha!!! I am THE SNIFFINATOR!!! Even antibacterial soap will not hide your age from me!! You may not feel threatened by my powers now, but you will! YOU.....WILL!!!!

The person below me has the ability to turn any small electronic device into Cool Ranch Doritos.

Dear god, that sounds like the perfect superpower for me... well, okay, depends on how small. Maybe I could finally find a use for those dang Tamagotchis...

The person below me now has the power to know exactly how any particular book, movie or play will end as soon as they set their eyes upon it.

Oh ew. That's a bad superpower.

The person below me can now control the length of their hair, as long as it's under 2 inches long.

I am giving up that power. I like my hair long-ish, thank you very much.

The person below me can tell the gender of an insect just by looking at it.

I hate bugs.

The person below me is able to trick cops into thinking THEY were the breaking the law. It only works for five seconds though.

I'd love that power. The person below me is able to levitate 6 inches off the ground, and move, but only backwards.

(@*&%? That's fantastic!!)

TPBM can communicate with photocopying machines and bend them to his/her will.

That would be a neat party trick, and I could totally do magic at kids birthday parties, so I'll take it happily.

The person below me has the power to make dead dry leaves on the ground become green again, but it doesn't work on anything else

Considering I work in an office building ... I will rule the world!!!

TPBM can rot any food they touch instantly.

And the annoying thing is I eat alone!

The person below me can run round the world in a second, but can only stop at the place they started.

TPBM can curl their nose hairs.

TPBM can turn any color of chalk into red chalk

Yay, red chalk is pretty!

TPBM can turn on the sticky keys function of a keyboard with their mind.

TPBM can tell when someone is lying, but can never prove it.