Has this been done? Weapons for fighting Zombies

Unless maybe you're in Texas, the average Jane or Joe isn't carrying a weapon around with them and most of us don't have one in our houses or apartments.

What do you have in your house RIGHT NOW that you could use to protect your family if sirens were suddenly screaming all around you and someone was moaning and pounding on your door?

No points for responding with "my phone." No one who can help is answering.

My collection of canes, spades and rakes in the shed, knives in the kitchen (though I'd want protective gear on my arms if I was getting that close), curtain rods, the top of the toilet cistern (as seen in Zombieland), various brooms and other thinner polearms around the place, heavy wooden objects; bookstops and the like, heavier metal kitchen appliances; toasters and stuff, hedge trimmers if I have them. I think that's about all.

Oh, and the decorative swords I have around. They may not be sharp, but there's certainly a lot of weight behind them (certainly enough to smash a zombie's skull)

Wow, I need to shop. We don't even have a decorative baseball bat. And we're in a condo so no gardening tools.

Kitchen knives if I had to get close. Brooms, mops... stuffed animals? Tupperware? Crap, we're dead.

Damn, all the powertools are in the shed.

From the kitchen I'm thinking knives are probably fairly useless vs zombies but there are some heavy pots and pans that would make good bludgeoning weapons.

Depending on the type of zombie they might not like flyspray in the eyes either. Hmm, is that stuff actually flammable like in the movies...?

The Skillet! :)

Big. Cast Iron. Contrary to what you've seen, it won't flatten a face, but the feel of it when you swing it...

Definitely go for the skillet! :-) I think I'd also use some of my posters from research conferences... their tubes have a nice reach and could possibly break a skull if needed. Beyond that, I think my lamp would be my only other good option. I live in a tiny studio apartment with few good zombie-killing weapons.

Seeing how I'm living in a college dorm, I don't have very many things to use against zombies. I have a steel trash can, stereo speaker set, some chairs... I suppose I could disassemble my bed and play whack-a-mole with the pieces!

Next to the front door is a coat rack. It's kinda flimsy, but it might work. The chairs at the kitchen table are pretty solid and might buy me some time to get to the knives/pots/pans or, in the other direction, the fireplace where I have an iron poker and shovel. Hm, I don't have much else bludgeon-y that would cause enough damage. I mean, I could run them over with the vacuum or start throwing books...

To be honest, I feel like in the zombie apocalypse I would either die immediately or hide in the attic and slowly starve to death.

In my parents and I's house we have: some hunting guns, an ax, a stapler gun (not sure if that would really help much but when you're desperate you gotta try everything), power tools, garden shears, countless buckets of paint that we could use for bludgeons (some of the metal ones would make a good dent, I think), some plywood that could cover some of the main doors and windows, pretty heavy and big metal dog food bowls, decorative sword, heavy furniture to block doors if possible, blanket rack that's light enough to use as a bludgeon but heavy enough to at least knock a zombie back, standard kitchen knives, scissors, the wok and other heavy pots and pans, the legs can be broken of the chairs and tables to create jagged ended spikes of sorts (if there was enough forewarning for this, also if there was more forewarning the legs could be sharpened to a point), handrails on the stairs have the same possibilities as the long furniture legs, my brother's weight lifting thing (the bar and individual weights could cause some damage) and the books if worst comes to worst.

It occurs to be that one could theoretically have fun with, say, perfume dipensers. And the contents of the cabinet under the sink, with bleach and other such things.

Also, depending on a novel setting, drugs. What would lsd or marijuana and crystal meth do to zombies? Surely someone would try and find out.

My laptop is pretty heavy, so I could use it to throw at a few. There's also several guitars/basses, and two heavy keyboards in my room alone, as well as my cornet and trumpet, both in hard cases. However, there's hardly anything in the rest of the house.We've got some knives for cutting meat and stuff in the kitchen, and I'm pretty sure if you aimed a few of my dog's toys at zombies, you'd be able to do some damage.

Not much around here that would be practical, I'm afraid.
Heavy items for (awkward) throwing: stereo speakers, printer, laptop, tea pot, Play Station, tv.
Other than that, I guess wine bottles could work as clubs, and perhaps my electronic keyboard, though swinging that thing would not be very practical... There's also the possibility of filling a bag with the heaviest of books, but you probably couldn't kill many, if any zombies in that way.

Zombies are very difficult to kill but notoriously slow movers. Could something be quickly rigged up using electricity? A nice electrified floor might stop them for a while. Possibly for long enough to set them on fire. We have petrol in the shed for the lawnmower and I'm sure there's quite a lot of inflammable substances around the home. Of course then you have to escape from a burning building.

Okay, I feel reassured that most of your asses are going down with me.

Electrified floor!

My set of Ninja stars might finally come in handy!
Besides that and the normal things like kitchen knives and brooms, I am screwed.

*cough*TSoD*cough*

No but seriously, I have a wooden practice sword, knives, cast iron skillets, chairs... And I know some hand-to-hand if necessary. Also, I have a dog that'll smell them coming.

Well - I have an electric fan. If I take the cover off that, I am pretty sure it would be quite useful (if somewhat limited in range).

The usual assortment of knives and frying pans (and trust me - whacking a zombie with a frying pan is fun!), my girlfriend's cans of hairspray along with a gas lighter to create a portable flame thrower, a coffee table and some chairs to hurl at people, and one or two network cables I can use as garotting wires.

Suffice to say, I have put a lot of thought in to a possible zombie attack, and have planned accordingly :)

I'm living in Japan. I have two wooden swords, which my character will use.

In an average household, I would guess that a carving knife would be good: cut the muscle groups that close the jaw. A character who works as a butcher, in rendering meat, or meat packing could probably render a zombie harmless in six cuts: one for each side of the jaw, one each for the muscles to close the hand, and one for each Achilles tendon.

Tag line: IN THE LAND OF THE ZOMBIES, THE MEAT PACKERS ARE KING

As for what is at hand, it's not fair in my case. I have a samurai sword (a cheap, but effective one) and a 12" khukuri. (Note, whoever writes for cracked.com has no idea what a samurai sword is capable of, just in case you've read the latest zombie article.)

By the way, if you are doing a zombie uprising, it's worth noting that cutting is a skill that must be learned. I don't think one can just grab a machete and effectively disable a human body that is lurching at oneself. FWIW.

Mag light (one of the big ones), zombie-hook (I think it's for ice or hay...it was never really determined, but I have it and I will use it), sword.

Other than that I think I'm doomed. I don't even have hairspray! D: