You Know You're Writing Lit-Fic When...

This thread brings me so much joy each year, and it is my pleasure to bring it to you again in November 2011!

You know you're writing lit-fic when...

- You're thinking you might be sci-fi, but you don't think you're sci-fi enough to be sci-fi, or you might be romance, but you're not romantic enough to be romance, or you might be... [ad infinitum]

- People ask you a direct, simple questions about your novel and your answer always seems to be "uuuuhhhhhh..."

- After planning your novel for weeks, you realise you have neglected the plot.

- Thinking about your novel always seems to lead to what feels like a tiny existential crisis.

...You have to force yourself to write an actual action-y, conflict-y event, and reward your slavish efforts with some rich, yummy character development in the name of a reaction. The action takes 5000 words. The reaction takes 50000.

- when your outline actually says a lot of the time, "... And then the main ponders about this for a bit."

- when the conflict is almost always internal.

- when people ask you about the plot and you say, "There isn't one, really..."

- when people say it's impossible to write a novel without a plot and you say, "Well, it's just all about the characters."

- when the fact that your character likes open floor plans or dislikes the color yellow is actually extremely important to the plot.

Inquisitive Person: What's it about?"
Me: People.
IP: Who's the main character?
Me: There isn't really one?
IP: Who's the antagonist?
Me: Society.

- Your story might be better off as a series of photographs.

- You're attempting to braid together ~30 short stories.

- Your outline is covered in ?'s.

- You run out of character names halfway through the outline, and can't think of any that are "real enough - but not too normal".

&....

- Your MC is "that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach".

if that is your MC, i want to read your novel.

... it can't be summed up in one word less than the complete manuscript length

... your theme is 'themes'

... the plot is how your book's voice changes

-When you have a character rush out to save the world, only to have him stuck in the middle of another character's monologue about how there aren't any heroes.

-when you can write five thousand words and then realize that your character is alone in a room and hasn't said a word the entire time.

...your characters spend a hell of a lot of time in coffee shops

When the entire novel is written in the interrogative mood. I am not doing this, but I noticed Padgett Powell's novel(?) on a shelf while I was out and about today, and I could not help but add this.

- when you're on chapter 3 and you haven't yet flushed out any of the characters to your readers.

- when you break so many rules of writing and it either works...or you don't care.

- when you can't quite seem to fit your writing into any other genre.

--When your British Literature Professor complements your style of writing. (Junior Year)

I swore I was writing chick lit last year, but that was because I thought Lit Fic was too cool for me... now I'm officially aware it was lit fic because these pretty much all apply. The one of "people ask what your novel is about and your reply is 'uhhh'" is RIDICULOUSLY true. It's happened on numerous occasions.

When the characters of your entire 50,000 word nano all start in the same setting and none of them leave by the end of the novel, making the whole story a continuous stream of events in a short few hours window.... this is the excuse for a novel that I am attempting to create this year!

You have been told that your novel is not so much a novel but really more of a concept :)

—when you keep making footnotes, and then keep telling more interesting stories in the footnotes than you do in the main text

—when you're mixing in so many facts about this-and-that, I mean complete non sequiturs or barely sequiturs, that you start to wonder if what you're writing is really fiction

—when you get about 50K words into the thing, you get distracted by the thought that you're actually writing a huge interconnected multilevel personal essay, which of course will be impossible to sell to a publisher, let alone market

- When your MC's chosen occupation is just an excuse for him/her to get mired in existential angst.

- When your settings are just new things for the characters to get philosophical about.

- When your MC has meaningful interactions with his semi-sentient clairvoyant household appliances

- When a character dies because you need the drama, then comes back as a moldy piece of fruit because you still need that character as a counterpoint to your MC

- When you tell people about the clairvoyant microwave and the moldy fruit character and explain their relevance to your theme of self sabotage and they just, sort of, look at you.

- When you sit back after planning and think "you know what,even I probably wouldn't read this."

When you finally hunker down and write your synopsis, it takes a half an hour and ends up reading as fallows:

Boy and Girl and Boy.
It's a tale of sex, romance, drugs, more sex, betrayal. hate, love, 48 fifths of whiskey and 3 bottles of vodka and what it means to define yourself, and to fit in, all while having something to do with the Pink Flamingo pool.

There are so many cigarettes in your novel you gave up quitting.

You already know you are going to give up sleep.

You're not sure if you're stable enough to be writing about anyone who is that messed up.

When you have perhaps 1K of conversations in the whole book, and perhaps 30K worth of internal monologues.