Does this ever happen to anyone else?

This year I''m writing (or attempting to write) litfic, and the other day I wrote this one scene where my main character faces serious hatred for the first time.

In this scene, my main character is threatened and insulted seriously by some other students because she is lesbian, and while writing the dialogue for the scene I found myself kind of shocked. What the other students were meant to say was repulsive, and the sheer hatred of it stunned me. I know that it's important for dialogue like this to bring a reaction in readers, but it felt like too much. It seemed too real.

Does this ever happen to anyone else? Writing litfic, I know that some pretty nasty characters can come up, and a lot of serious issues are dealt with where dialogue can sometimes become very heated. So, am I alone?

Any responses would be really helpful. :)

It's not you alone.. I have faced it myself as well, even this year already a couple of words in a very short time span. I'm sometimes even shocked of what my MC says to others or what he thinks but doesn't dare to say because he's too afraid. At moments I'm just disgusted by what he dares to say when another person has actually done nothing wrong at all.

I had this scene where he just throws an insult and a dead wish (in a very "I hope the King will chop thy head off" way) to a servant of my main side character... I was shocked about my own MC - whom I love dearly. I nearly edited it out because I was too shocked, but I kept it cause it'll eventually keep the plot going.

When novelists, of any stripe, are deeply engaged with their material, their own darker feelings and/or impulses may be tapped during the writing. It's a sign of being on the right track, in my opinion, when some of the dialogue, the action, whatever, is shocking to the novelist who just wrote it. Otherwise, your story will be all fuzzy puppies and white light. And that ain't Life!

Thanks, both of you. October Sea Breeze I think I know what you mean. :) Characters can be surprising sometimes. I like knowing that I'm not alone.
And Fiona, thanks. I'm glad I'm on the right track, that I'm not crazy.

well since my MC is slighly based on a real person nothing is shocking to me since I have heard it all. but I do understand what you mean I have already started to plan my story for next year LOL

I thought I was the only one whose characters said and did things to each other that offended even their creator! LOL

I tend to include the most horrific, perverted themes in my fiction, and I'm not at all the sort of person who delights in such stuff, not even vicariously or as a fantasy. But there is something to making a solution look really good in part by making the problem look really, really, bad. Sometimes I think only the most virtuous people can write truly dastardly villains. Consider it a gift-- and let's see the book!

Unfortunately, my character is loosely based off of my personality, and I'm a bit of a masochist, so... I'll let you do the math.

This happens to me often.

I have a very horrible and racist side character that bothers me to no end to have to write for. My main characters aren't much better..