Memoirs?

lizzy12 — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 10:56:59 -0700

Anyone doing a Memoir? What are you writing about? I feel like doing a Memoir will be more motivating for me then just writing anything. I'm writing about my friends death, my grieving process and lessons learned through the experience.

Re: Memoirs?

tianakaesha — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 13:42:31 -0700

Me! I'm doing a memoir, My son died in labour July 14 this year. I have been blogging a lot of the process, but lots of people have suggested I write a book, and so that is what I am going to do. I have a working title "The Stillness of a Fox - Avery's Story" and an outline that I need to revise. I even have a mocked up cover to keep me motivated. I figure I should be able to write 2000 words a day since I automatically write blog posts between 500 and 1500 words, hopefully I can write 2000 words with a bit of effort.. I need to write this book, so I am going to be begging for a cheer squad here... I'm sad that this won't get counted as a proper novel though :(

Re: Memoirs?

lizzy12 — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 14:33:34 -0700

I think with topics that are so close to us it'll be easier to write and reach the 50,000 :)

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Marauders Girl — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 14:42:36 -0700

Tianakaesha, your story inspires me and I love your mock cover/avvie. But what makes you say it won't get counted as a proper novel? Rebels are loved and supported here at Nano just like people who are following all the rules to a T. Rebels are even welcome to validate at the end of the month if they want :)

Re: Memoirs?

Aranel — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 18:08:42 -0700

I'm taking a creative nonfiction approach to Nano this year and doing a memoir. I've done fiction the previous 8 years (mostly fantasy or sci-fi) and have had some successes. This year, I feel I need to do something more personal as catharsis. My daughter was born sleeping last month at 38 weeks. She was our first child and an unexpected pregnancy - my husband and I live in Japan, and we wanted to wait until we got back to the States to start a family - but we were very excited to have her and raise her in Japan. I kept wanting to write about the pregnancy and chronicle the experience, but I was always too busy or too tired. We'll be staying with friends and family in the States during November and December, so I feel it's time to write about my experience during this year as well as keep Lauren's memory alive.

Re: Memoirs?

Aranel — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 18:15:48 -0700

tianakaesha, I know what you mean about needing a cheer squad. I'm also writing about the baby I lost this year to stillbirth, and I'm not sure how my husband feels about it. It's still a very fresh wound for us, and he thinks I should wait. But I feel I need to tell her story now, while it's still fresh and raw in my mind. So, I'm willing to offer myself up as a cheerleader for you! Feel free to send me Nanomail or something if you need a pep talk. I don't have a problem giving encouragement!

Re: Memoirs?

vuajuno — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 19:56:43 -0700

Same kind of thing here. I'm writing about past relationships and how the grieving process has helped me get through them.

Re: Memoirs?

tianakaesha — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 20:52:17 -0700

I say write it now while it is fresh. While you can feel and experience every word you write. While you can talk about the grief as an opened wound. Easier to get the words out and much better to remember later on, rather than through the haze of time. I'll get my pom poms out for you too xx Feel free to check out my blog (it is in my profile)... i've been writing all about Avery since he died.. it's 3 months on Friday. So long and yet so short... I am dreadfully sorry that someone else has gone through the same thing... I would love to read your story in the end if you want to share...

Re: Memoirs?

tianakaesha — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 20:54:26 -0700

Only a month?... blessings to you and your husband. I know where you are at. Avery was born at 40 and 6, and died in labour. I have written all about it so far in my blog, but now is time to do it in a story.. 3 months for us... but some days it is like yesterday. here to lend and ear any time you want..

Re: Memoirs?

tianakaesha — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 20:55:30 -0700

I did not think memoirs could be validated at the end...? I was searching for the FAQs but couldn't look properly earlier.

Re: Memoirs?

saluk — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 22:01:04 -0700

There's no person reading the words to validate them. "I AM A FISH" repeated 50,000 times will be validated as a 200,000 word novel.

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SatyaPriya — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 23:36:00 -0700

I'm writing a travel memoir, based on the years 2008-2010, starting with a nervous breakdown(how cheerful) and ending with a wedding in Sth Africa(how lovely). I have my travel journals from that time, and keep adding to a list of topics as they come to mind. My plan is to just pick a topic and run with it until I get bored, then trust that the next topic will leap out at me. I will be challenged to complete NaNo because there are 6-10 days in November that are just wipe-outs for me. Hoping to connect with other memoirists for some chat.

Re: Memoirs?

MaccaGirl90 — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 23:55:32 -0700

I'm actually considering doing my NaNo on the past 3 years I've spent working for Disney and my experiences, memories, etc. I was inspired to do so after being interviewed by author Bob McLain (who does a lot of writing for Disney) about my cast member experiences on my previous two internships. It might be something I do, I haven't decided yet. I'd love to eventually write it regardless to show how wonderful it is to work for the company and to encourage other college students to apply for the internships available.

Re: Memoirs?

Bonnie54 — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 14:13:55 -0700

Unfortunately I share a similar topic, only my sons died as toddlers. I began this story last year and Yes, I was validated as a memoir. I am continuing this year because so much healing happened for me during this experience. It wasn't easy to sit down to each day, but in the end I was glad I did it. I was surprised at all the good memories that surfaced and that made it all worth while. When we get started I'd love to have you as a writing buddy!

Re: Memoirs?

Passion4Film — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 22:27:36 -0700

I am writing a memoir as well! I'm doing them as journal entries that others might actually want to read - that sort of thing. I'm going to go through all the people in my life - my opinions, experiences, memories, etc. I have done NaNo two other years so far (with fiction) and have yet to win, but I have a good feeling about this year!

Re: Memoirs?

sardonica — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 11:34:36 -0700

My current plan is to write a "quarter life" memoir, since I turned 25 this year. So I guess it'd actually be more of an autobiography. I'm also being rebellious since I actually started writing it already as a kind of structured journal, divided into parts based on my address(es) at the time. (On the other hand, I may still completely change my mind and write some fiction. Or maybe, if the memoir goes fast enough, I can try to do BOTH! hahaha)

Re: Memoirs?

TayaCurragh — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 11:59:56 -0700

I'm doing a similar thing to sardonica, I'm writing more of an auto-biography. Not sure if I'll be able to get it done though, as I'm at uni, but hopefully it'll work out :) Good luck to everyone!

Re: Memoirs?

LGrace — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 14:59:46 -0700

Hello: The Memoir I am working on is called "The DoorKeeper." I survived a stabbing years ago after my mother's funeral while visiting with a friend. Her 16 year old son stabbed her to death in the basement of their home. Without provocation he began stabbing me. God spoke and told me three specific things to do (and I obeyed those things) in order to get out of the house alive. I have always wanted to write and publish the faith journey of survival, healing and forgiveness that I experienced first hand. What do you think???

Re: Memoirs?

Mstermind1 — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 15:59:13 -0700

I plan to write a travel memoir this year - although I am such a rule follower in real life that this label of "rebel" may be my undoing :) I am writing about my recent two week trip to Paris --- which was 30 years in the making. This past spring, in the span of about 6 weeks, I lost my mother (which now makes me the matriarch of the family) - became a grandmother for the first time - and my youngest child graduated high school. I found myself in a new phase of life that I did not feel I was old enough to enter (I am 51). So I finally made good on a 30 year dream and "lived in Paris as a Parisian" for 2 weeks this summer. I lived in an apartment, spoke French, took 3,500 pictures and kept a travel blog. I want to format this adventure into a series of personal essays that not only document the trip, but also include the thirty years that have shaped my life so far.

Re: Memoirs?

lizzy12 — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 17:03:14 -0700

I would LOVE to here about those 3 things! :)

Re: Memoirs?

so_new_at_this — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 18:34:26 -0700

I'm planning on doing a memoir also. I've grown up amongst hard circumstances, poverty, neglect, verbal, mental, emotional abuse, another family member's mental illness, etc. I would like to fictionalize it a little since many of those involved are still living. It will also include my dad's death not too many years ago. I'm thinking of changing names, some details, timing of events, to protect the innocent and also to help with my subplot. I'm thinking of doing a historical fiction, based on some real events in my ancestors life. I think this subplot will help give the book some 'down time' relief of the harsh situations and some plot to it. I think I need to do this to help me heal, and go on. The abusers are still alive, and my dad's death is still raw. He was a victim as well as me, and another sibling. I could use some cheerleaders. And am willing to cheerlead others who already posted on this thread. :)

Re: Memoirs?

restlesslilly — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 19:49:03 -0700

I love all your ideas...I am a survivor of physical/emotional/sexual abuse and rape at the hands of about a dozen people throughout my life and spent my early adult years struggling to heal from it all, diagnosed with various mental illnesses, psych ward stay, suicide attempts, etc. I would love to write about it now that I've made it through...gosh now I'm not sure what to write. Best of luck to you all with your memoirs.

Re: Memoirs?

Passion4Film — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 23:01:27 -0700

I am so sorry! That sounds really interesting, though! Something that, although it is difficult, would really be good to put down, I think. Good luck! :-)

Re: Memoirs?

LGrace — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 06:41:58 -0700

Dear Lizzy Hello: Thank you for your response regarding my work in progress memoir non-fiction story I call "The DoorKeeper." After I discovered the dead body of my friend in their basement I went back upstairs not knowing what to do next. Her Son from out of no where blocked the doorway and stabbed me in the side of the face which caused my glasses (that I needed to see with) to leap into the air. I couldn't catch them fast enough as they disappeared through my fumbling fingers. The entity that was speaking to me, God, told me to "make him think you can see him." So it knew that much about me that I couldn't see the young man without my glasses. He continued stabbing me in the chest (14 stitches) and my arm. The second thing I was told to do was to "calm him down," so I began talking calmly to him. He stopped stabbing me dropped his head and left the kitchen. I stood there dumbfounded waiting for further instructions for what was speaking to me. As I patiently waited I heard the third thing which was "go." With that I unlocked the back door and started running down the street for help barefooted in my pajamas as I bled from head to toe. So tell me what do you think???

Re: Memoirs?

lizzy12 — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 08:47:46 -0700

As a religious person I think this is quite the experience! I'm glad you were in touch with God's spirit enough to know to listen to his promptings :)

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LGrace — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 09:29:38 -0700

Dear Lizzy: Thank you for your comment. You are right but where do I go from here???

Re: Memoirs?

lizzy12 — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 12:29:46 -0700

I feel like its such a short experience but meaningful that it'll be hard to write 50,000 words pertaining to just this one moment in time. Maybe have background about you and your friends relationship. A few chapters about her son and what ended up happening to him? And maybe include other religious experiences you've had? You could always write a story and have this event happen to one of your characters :)

Re: Memoirs?

LGrace — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 14:17:14 -0700

I agree with you as far as writing chapters about other religious experiences as well. God has also spoken to me in another situation where he has said "you don't have to lie," and when I was dating a guy I was told "he's married." When I confronted the guy about his marriage he said "who told you that?" Who did he think, God told me.

Re: Memoirs?

fleurdelibrarian — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 14:44:36 -0700

Hey guys, I'm working on a memoir as well! It's already about half-finished and I put it down for about six weeks when I got a little stuck, but I'm ready to get back to it. There are a lot of big, significant events that happened to me in a short amount of time, but it'll mostly be about losing my dad to pancreatic cancer and dealing with that grief while also learning how to live and be in college in post-Katrina New Orleans and dealing with the grief of an entire city as well. So, that's a convoluted answer, but I'm really excited about continuing this project as I've been really wanting to do it for six years now. I finally feel ready! And to anybody else who's writing about pain and grief, I'm definitely available to be a cheerleader whenever you need one!

Re: Memoirs?

writerwithoutborders — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 22:49:42 -0700

Your story is amazing. I think it would be a great subject for writing. I think it would be really captivating if you could describe how that experience affected you and your life. That could easily fill 50,000 words, I'm sure. Maybe start with the experience itself, ending on a cliffhanger (just as he starts stabbing you, maybe), and then flashback to explain how you found yourself in the situation and any relevant backstory. Then finish the scene about mid-way through the book, and then talk about how it's affected you. But I wouldn't worry about the organization or the "how to best tell this" now, just start writing, see what comes out, and then see what you have at that point. Good luck!

Re: Memoirs?

writerwithoutborders — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 22:51:32 -0700

This sounds really interesting and well thought out. You're off to a good start. Good luck!

Re: Memoirs?

LGrace — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 17:12:20 -0700

Wow!!! Thank you very much for your generous response. I have been wanting to get this completed for a while, Hopefully with the NaNo challenge I can get this goal accomplished. If you ever wanted to e-mail me privately please use doorkeeper90@gmail.com. New Brunswick Canada, is that where you are from??? - Lynette

Re: Memoirs?

mentalist — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 19:32:44 -0700

I'm going to be writing a memoir as well. It's good to know that I'll have the company of fine folk such as yourselves.

Re: Memoirs?

restlesslilly — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 11:02:16 -0700

Thanks :) I think this is definitely what I'm going to work on this Nano and work on my first idea(which I posted in non-fiction thread) later. Hopefully it will turn out well. :)

Re: Memoirs?

duelingbanjos — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 16:52:18 -0700

Hey everyone! I'm thinking of applying to grad school to get an MFA in Creative Nonfiction. I'm a Journalism major, and I took a class my sophomore year called Literary Journalism, and I fell in love. I've been a memoirist ever since. As of now, my plan is to write a memoir. I'm thinking of writing about the relationship between my father and myself, and the tenuous truces that have made up our lives. Good luck, everyone!

Re: Memoirs?

Craig — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 19:14:33 -0700

I just asked this quetion elseware. What about valadation? Why is memoirs such a bad thing in na no wri mo?

Re: Memoirs?

Aranel — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 20:30:07 -0700

It's not that memoirs are a bad thing exactly. It's just that Nanowrimo was intended to help get *novels* written - hence the name National Novel Writing Month. But there's nothing stopping you from writing a non-novel and getting it validated. A program checks the word count, and it certainly doesn't know the difference between a novel and, say, a cookbook. And we're obviously still welcome on the site, otherwise there wouldn't be a special place for us! So, no worries about not getting validated. Our word counts will be just as official as anybody else's. :)

Re: Memoirs?

koellegirl — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 11:09:44 -0700

I am quite happy to find, that so many are writing memoirs - and omg - what stories you have to tell. Mine seems so simple. The last 3,5 years so many things happened to me and my family. My husband died, my company nearly went bankrupt, I lost a very dear friend (not by death, but she stopped acknowledging me), found a new partner...And I started to think, how all this happened, how I have found the strength to go on, how my life has developed, how I still have some dreams, I want to fulfill. So I guess, I need to write about it all, even if it is only for myself. I also need to get back into writing, one of my great loves. By writing about myself, finding myself, I hope to get this love back.

Re: Memoirs?

Vidya Sury — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 00:36:48 -0700

I love reading memoirs. Been thinking of working on one myself. All the best to everyone. And a big hug to those grieving. I lost my mother last year and miss her terribly.

Re: Memoirs?

spidergirl — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 04:22:47 -0700

Hi everyone! I discovered memoirs a few years ago, and I'd never really thought about writing one, but an idea struck me a few months ago as I was thinking about NaNo. I'm planning on writing a memoir based on my work experience. I've had 14 jobs in the 14 years that I've been working, which sounds worse than it is. LOL I want to write about my daily struggles to find a new job (just got laid off again a few weeks ago), so it will be sort of journal-style, with my work history mixed in. I also want to touch upon how college didn't prepare me at all for the working world. (My degree is in English. Classes taught me to think independently and critically - which the working world does not exactly encourage.) Because I couldn't think of a title, I've called my NaNo novel "working title" but I think that actually fits, so I might keep it.

Re: Memoirs?

eberky — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 14:47:35 -0700

Wow, I'll have to come back later and reply to all of these threads, a lot of painful but inspiring memoirs will be written this year! I am writing a memoir as well. My husband was killed in action in Afghanistan two years ago and I will be writing the story of our lives together, his death, the grief that followed and is still present, and learning to live again as a young widowed mother of a toddler (who was 8 months old when his Daddy died). I expect it to be incredibly painful and hard to do, but I need and want to do it. For our son, for my husband, for myself. And for other widows who need a voice. I'm looking forward to getting to know you guys and the support of this group throughout the month!

Re: Memoirs?

paypete1st — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 14:52:35 -0700

I am NOT writing a memoir, although most of what I write could easily be turned into one. The difference is subtle - I am writing a novel (fiction) heavily based on actual events and experiences from my past. The format is that of a novel - although there may not be an actual climax and the protagonist may or may not undergo transformation. It's like what the travel industry calls a "trip to nowhere", and while things may end up exactly where they started I hope the reader enjoyed the ride. But there is an element of creativity as well, since sequences may be altered for dramatic effect, or composite characters built up to make the story simpler for the reader.

Re: Memoirs?

kvsmm — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 19:59:13 -0700

Write the story that you need to tell. It doesn't matter if it 'counts' to anyone but you and to God, but you will be happier to let it all out in a safe place - on paper. Been there, done that, and I promise you, the writing will start your healing.

Re: Memoirs?

passthepotatoes — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 22:05:32 -0700

I'm so glad to see so many people doing memoirs this year! I'm doing my first EVER memoir this year....yikes. My hope is that writing everything down will help with the grieving process, as well as save details that may be forgotten in later years for when I'll actually want to remember them. My piece is going to be about my father's struggle with lung cancer, and the lessons I've learned from going through such an ordeal as losing a parent. (as well as other little mishaps along the way for some much needed comedy, of course!)

Re: Memoirs?

Fiona W — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 10:01:14 -0700

I think what I'm writing is in the same category as what paypete1st describes—not a memoir, but rather a novel based on my own experiences—what is sometimes referred to as an autobiographical novel. Instead of writing from the point of view of Fiona Webster (my name) in the 1st person, I'll be writing from the point of view of Elsa Weaver (made-up name) in the 3rd person. I'm going to have the freedom to dramatize events, invent details or even whole episodes, etc. i hope that in writing it as a novel, I won't have to worry about anyone in my family objecting to my book. =sly grin= I've just now been rereading one of my favorite autobiographical novels, The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien. Here's a quotation: "You take your material where you find it, which is in your life, at the intersection of past and present. The memory-traffic feeds into a rotary up in your head, where it goes in circles for a while, then pretty soon imagination flows in and the traffic merges and shoots off down a thousand different streets. As a writer, all you can do is pick a street and go for the ride, putting things down as they come at you."

Re: Memoirs?

WindWell2794 — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 11:03:53 -0700

I am writing a memoir and a tribute. The memoir is my story going through a bone marrow transplant to save my life. I have a genetic disease. The tribute is for one of the girls who was with me in the hospital being treated for the same disease. It's fictionalized because I don't remember a lot of the details, but the med stuff will be the same.

Re: Memoirs?

sostinkinhappy — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 18:01:46 -0700

Have you read, "Your Life as Story" by Tristine Rainer? If not, it should definitely go to the top of your list of reading! Her book will help you immensely in your efforts to craft a story out of your very compelling experiences. I am glad you listened and are still here today - M.

Re: Memoirs?

sostinkinhappy — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 18:06:48 -0700

Oh, my heart just caught in my throat as I read this and my eyes are starting "to sweat." My husband retired last year after 24 years of service in the Special Forces and so I understand some of the sacrifices military families make, but yours is one I have not known. I am so sorry - and yes, you need to write your story for your son. It will be a priceless gift to him as he grows older. Sending lots of love and support your way - M.

Re: Memoirs?

Unforsaken — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 00:46:52 -0700

This'll be my first year doing Nano. I'm going to do a memoir of sorts. Starting with actual facts, but will move into fictionalizing the characters of my story that I don't really know and will probably never know. My family history is crazy - I'm the illegitimate child of a married "popular professional" who was old enough to be my grandfather. He died almost 2 yrs ago, having only acknowledged me by paying child support for 18 years, and through a cold letter written to me when I was 19. Growing up, people always told me it sounded like a soap opera. Then when I learned "the rest" of the story at the beginning of this year it got even crazier. I met siblings (old enough to be my parents) I barely knew I had, some of whom didn't even know I existed. And that's where it'll turn to fiction. Because of the time that's past (my whole life, 30+ yrs), most of my half-siblings seem content to not develop relationships ... but what if they did seek relationship and healing from family secrets? I think I might mentally/psychologically/spiritually be the healthiest one in "the family" because I was exposed to the truth early and never worried about hiding my father's depravity!

Re: Memoirs?

NewfiesRule — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 07:17:20 -0700

I've been thinking (someday, maybe not for NaNoWriMo) of writing an Anti-Memoir. I wonder how I'd have turned out if I'd had a different start in life. Would I be a whiny, spoiled brat or a serene, confident presence? (I'm neither!) Admirable that so many of you are brave enough to face up to reality, even if it's not very pretty.

Re: Memoirs?

virginia bluebell — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 00:28:03 -0700

I am having a difficult time forming a plot that I feel passionate about so I may do some sort of travel-memoir. My husband, dog, and I (+ baby in utero) moved to Japan last year on military orders. I am tumbling the idea of writing about my experiences here. Who knows, we'll see.

Re: Memoirs?

sf_writer_mdk — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 11:57:57 -0700

Hi. I read that about 3 months ago. I agree... It's a must-read. I'll probably read through some of it again over the next week. I also read "Fearless Confessions" by Sue William Silverman around the same time. Both are excellent reads.

Re: Memoirs?

gopangaea — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 06:39:48 -0700

Fiona, I'm intrigued by your posting and quote... I want to put a question out into the universe: I too will be doing a memoir based on 15 years of cruising on a sailboat, meshing with life on land, relationship issues, German Jewish relations, the joys and evils of technology. But my problem is this: how do I know what aspects of my memoir really do contribute to the effectiveness of my story? How do you "pick a street and go for the ride" when you realize that every street has fantastic detail and interesting subplot that may contribute to some positive shading of your story, but you still need to choose it? It seems like a dumb question, but it also is somehow at the core of the reason why I have a hard time moving forward.

Re: Memoirs?

Kitsune_Majere — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 14:51:49 -0700

I'm thinking about it. Either a memoir about my undergrad experience or a fictionalized version of that. I think it might be easier to go back and fictionalized it after I have it all written as it happened. I might end-up writing about more that just my undergrad, though. We shall see what happens.

Re: Memoirs?

Fiona W — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 15:47:07 -0700

For those of you who are going with a semi-fictionalized approach, I just wrote a posting in the "Autobiography?" thread about why I don't think I'm a NaNo Rebel anymore. What I'm writing could be called an autobiographical novel, which moves me (a bit reluctantly, I admit) into the Literary Fiction category. Anyway, there's a link in my posting that you might want to check out...and I'll keep checking back here to keep up with everyone's adventures..those Literary Fiction people are very helpful about matters of plot and so on, but only you memoirists know how much courage it takes to write about painful memories! Fi

Re: Memoirs?

RamonaSylvia — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 05:24:13 -0700

This is the second year I am writing memoir as a Nano-Rebel, and it is a wonderful way to open the subconscious, get back into those experiences, and capture the way they felt (or feel--I often write to process the here-and-now)--just push to write every day, and you will get to many amazing places. Sometimes I write a couple thousand words and realize it doesn't mean what I thought it meant, or I haven't figured out what it means yet. And that's ok. Don't question the value of your memoir before you even write it! Just write. And write. And write. Editing comes later. The Nano site is all about getting folks to write, and it doesn't matter--the Great American Novel or the Great American Memoir or the Great American Dissertation--don't know about the Great American Grocery List, but who knows? I might like to see that.... Being part of a community concentrating on a project (writing) helps us all to do our individual work of writing. I am taking two different memoir classes and am part of a small writer's group, and adding NanoWrimo will be a challenge to my schedule--but I'm up for it!! Glad to see other folks out there examining the meaning of their life experiences.

Re: Memoirs?

LGrace — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 07:10:17 -0700

Dear Sostinkinhappy: Thank you very much for your generous comment and for the tip about reading "Your Life as Story." Since I survived the incident I have been searching for what my purpose is in life. Maybe it is to write my story "The DoorKeeper," in hopes it will help others to find their way to heal. I have been told by various agents that since it is a memoir and I am not Stephen King that no one would be interested and it won't sell. One day I hope to prove the naysayers wrong. In your opinion do you think people would be interested in this human interest story/journey of survival, forgiveness and healing??? I look forward to your response. - Lynette

Re: Memoirs?

willwrite4chocolate — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 08:10:41 -0700

Wow! Your book sound great. Memoirist here. Well, with a little general nonfiction thrown in. I'm writing about my 2010-2011 journey from a depressed couch potato to a half marathoner. I don't really have a title yet. Working title is, "From my bed to the Half Mary."

Re: Memoirs?

Ivy9 — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 12:52:32 -0700

I'm really glad to see this group of people doing memoirs on here. I was getting discouraged and lonely until I found the rebels group and saw this thread. So far I have found Fearless Confessions to be very helpful (I'm only half-way through it), with it's chapter breakdowns, examples, and writing exercises. It seems like something that might be more useful during the revision stage, though, as I don't think I'm going to be worrying about beautiful imagery and metaphors this first go-round in November! Look forward to checking back in with all of you and seeing how the process goes for all of us.

Re: Memoirs?

keyanadrake — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 15:08:37 -0700

Hi. Not sure of the technical definition of "Memoirs" but I guess it's close enough to what I'm intending. I've struggled most of my life with PTSD, and that's what I'm going to be writing about this year. I write professionally (publishing my first book in the middle of Nov), and so due to my schedule I really only had two choices for NaNo this year, 1, be a Rebel and use NaNo to finish two books I'll be publishing next year, or 2 do one novel but non-fiction. I don't mind being a rebel, but I did want to actually write a 50k novel this year instead of bits. I didn't really realise until just now that non-fiction is considered "rebel". But it's all good. I love the vibe and pressure of NaNo.. it does amazing things for my creativity. :)

Re: Memoirs?

Debbe — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 17:26:49 -0700

I'm thinking of doing a humor memoir - Memories of a Prom Queen Wannabe (with apologies to the REAL prom queen).

Re: Memoirs?

Aranel — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 19:10:45 -0700

I've found that the Literary Fiction forum has been helpful for me as I plot and plan my memoir. I don't see any reason for a creative non-fiction writer to be afraid to visit there (though, I admit, I've not joined any discussions, just lurked!), because in some ways, memoirs can resemble Literary Fiction. Memoirs will still use plot and character arcs (and characters!), so if anyone's struggling, I suggest checking out that board. It might not be exactly what you're looking for, but it can help push you in the right direction. And that's if you're not even taking the semi-fictionalized approach - I'm straight-up nonfiction, but I keep going there! Thanks for mentioning the Literary Fiction forum here, Fiona! Good luck with your novel, no matter how you approach it!

Re: Memoirs?

Lydia_Ember — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 19:36:59 -0700

I'm writing a memoir for therapeutic reasons. Long story short, I know that the way I perceive things is effed up (EX: to this day I feel like I'm just a left over piece of a divorce since the way I think is so different from my maternal family), I know that my family's is largely a part of that, but I don't feel like I have "the right" to say anything about it. My guy doesn't think that holding it in for as long as I have is healthy, so I'm gonna try writing one on top of my other NaNo.

Re: Memoirs?

nolagirl — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 10:02:21 -0700

Wow. I haven't completely decided but I may also be writing about a baby I lost. I was in process of adopting and shockingly, got pregnant. It was a very difficult time because if the pregnancy had gone to term and I'd had the baby, I would have had to give up my adopted child (she was not yet with me but I knew who she was). My adoption agency does not let you adopt within a year of giving birth. Anyhow - I lost the pregnancy. And am now blessed with my adopted daughter. But what a long road this has been..... I tried writing memoir last year though and found it very challenging. Fiction in some ways is easier... but as of today I don't have a fictional plot worked out. I will make a final decision about what I am writing about this weekend.

Re: Memoirs?

nolagirl — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 10:05:03 -0700

Hi Fleur - I have strong ties to the crescent city. Katrina was a very painful experience for me. Perhaps we can hook up as writing buddies. Best of luck.

Re: Memoirs?

Nonfictionista — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 20:40:29 -0700

I'm also working on some essays to complete a memoir that I started in my master's thesis. I'm so excited to have this motivator. I've been working so much lately, and with 3 kids I don't get much time to write. I need a kick in the ass.

Re: Memoirs?

David Seven — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 04:44:17 -0700

I am getting married on 5 November (to a non-writer) So I will probably have difficulty carving out time for fiction during the Honeymoon. So.... I am writing the story of how we met and got engaged and married. That way we can do it together. She can tell the stories from her side, and I can put it down as research. :-) Don't think I will get 50,000 words, but you never know.

Re: Memoirs?

Debbe — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 05:55:45 -0700

Yes, I'm doing humor/memoir: Memories of a Prom Queen Wannabe (with apologies to the REAL prom queen!). Mostly about being second-best.

Re: Memoirs?

lizzy12 — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 15:39:23 -0700

So, as I mentioned before i'm doing a memoir about my friend and his death. A tough thing i'm trying to decide on is whats 'too much' to include. I kinda want to include EVERYTHING. But then if certain people read this they'll probably get really upset with me. Also, one of the main things I learned from this friend is how to truly forgive someone. And, I was going to do a chapter on this long fight we had. However, the fight surrounds a 3rd person. I can't not include her. He read her a letter that I wrote to him about her and how I was having a hard time being around her and issues she had. So, I want to include the actual letter ect but I don't want her to end up reading it ect. And, his mom is going to read this. She's very chill but at the same time i'm like 'ehhhh'. Do I stick to the hardcore truth. Good and bad? Or..do I bend it? He wasn't an angel. He made some stupid choices too. But, so does everyone :)

Re: Memoirs?

Lydia_Ember — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 15:49:58 -0700

Oh, that's sweet. I'm glad you could write a book for your sweetie ^_^ While I'm definitely gonna include him countless times in my memoir, that wasn't the book I wanted to dedicate to him. V_V Oh well. I can do it as a birthday present during Camp ^_^

Re: Memoirs?

Marauders Girl — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 19:01:37 -0700

I say include it all.. it's your novel you have the -right- to write it as you so choose. If that makes other people uncomfortable that's their issue - not yours.

Re: Memoirs?

Serena Mira Asta — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 19:20:32 -0700

Wow! Such great story ideas here - and some very sad ones. You all amaze and inspire me. I will be working on a creative nonfiction / memoir piece. I'll be writing a series of scenes or stories, sort if "islands" that I'll string together later. My goal is to write 50,000 words of new material during November. Go Nano rebels! (and yes, we can all be validated in the end - it's all about writing!)

Re: Memoirs?

wyrdbyrd — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 22:25:07 -0700

i'm writing a series of letters to my nephew, who is curious about the grandfather he never knew. It's only been in recent years that I've come to terms with the fact that I was raised by an abusive alcoholic and an enabler, but after some therapy I seem to be willing to face the task of describing what it was like to be raised as his grandfather's daughter. I'm taking my second memoir writing class from Hugo House in Seattle. Averaging out what assignments i've completed thus far and looking at my outline, I figure that if I produce a new scene daily, I have a good chance of completing National Novel Writing Month. I've accepted that I'm fictionalizing bits of the memoir in that I'm creating sequences where my father is telling me stories about his past, but that's mainly because I can't remember exactly how I learned the stories. Otherwise, it'll be as much non-fiction as my memory will allow it to be.

Re: Memoirs?

RacingWoman — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 05:44:28 -0700

I'll be joining the Rebel Memoirs too. In June this year I spent 30 days cycling close to 4000km on the course of the Giro D'Italia, one of the hardest Professional Cycling Races in the world before racing from London to Paris for charity. It was an epic journey physically and emotionally laced with some of the most incredible scenery you can imagine. So now I am going to spend the same amount of time writing about it. As the only woman on the trip, it was possibly the toughest thing I've done having been stretched beyond my physically capabilities trying to keep up with the men. I'm hoping NoNoWriMo will be an easy trip by comparison. I was able to blog up the entire journey, writing notes on my iPhone when we transfered and typing up blogs in the evenings. I'm touched by some of the stories above and hope everyone takes some comfort from writing about their experiences, it can be very theraputic, my writing kept me sane during my darkest moments.

Re: Memoirs?

fuziblu — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 06:15:47 -0700

I am delighted to find so many courageous people here. I, too, am writing memoir/autobiography. I have been working on parts of it for years. Always considered it memoir. But it covers such a long period of time. Most of my life I have alternated between the fire and the frying pan, running for my life and my survival. I finally realize that I have survived. I can stop running and write about it. Good luck to all of us.

Re: Memoirs?

_daisy_ — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 09:10:23 -0700

[quote=fuziblu] I finally realize that I have survived. I can stop running and write about it. [/quote] It's a wonderful place to be isn't it, enjoy the writing.

Re: Memoirs?

sparkoflove — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 09:55:39 -0700

Wow, there are some amazing memoirs that are going to be written in November! My memoir is a travel memoir, about my time abroad as a teen. I'm writing it for myself -- kind of in a therapeutic way -- and to remember the experience. It impacted me so much and I just want to always have a piece of it. I'm also writing it because I've told my friends stories from the experience and they say, "You should write a book!!!" So, voila.

Re: Memoirs?

JStipe14 — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 03:36:58 -0700

I'm writing about my experiences as an undergraduate research student and the impact of mental illness on my studies. Some of it will be fictionalised- names, places, dates- but the rest will all have a base in real life. I am being rebellious by using some work that I already began before I knew about NaNo.

Re: Memoirs?

Scribbling Sharon — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 08:27:03 -0700

Wow - there are some fantastic, moving and inspiring stories here. I am so pleased to have joined the rebels and feel much more 'at home' in this memoir family! It's my first time doing Nano - love the idea of the challenge and the support from lots of other people doing the same thing. My idea is a travel memoir - I went backpacking for the first time this year - at the grand old age of 41, with my 15 year old son. It was only a short trip but we went to three different countries - and as I've brought him up as a single parent I think it'll be as much about our relationship as the traveling. Someone somewhere on this thread (sorry can't recall who!) was asking if their human interest story/ journey would appeal to people - as an avid reader I am fascinated by other people's lives and experiences as I imagine so many other people are too. I'd say we all have a story to tell - so go for it! Good luck and look forward to keeping in touch with you all.

Re: Memoirs?

KKLangton — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 11:28:50 -0700

Hi, Will be be writing a kind of spiritual memoir--I've got forty years on this road. It will include the Sufis (American, British, and Turkish groups), Findhorn, Seth, Catholics, a touch of Hinduism and an encounter with an Orthodox Jewish rabbi, Interfaith Seminary, Unitarian Seminary, Wiccans, Buddhists et al (and not necessarily in that order). It will begin, as my search did, in the 1960s. But of course!! Lots of promise and lots of perils....;-) Kate

Re: Memoirs?

SVEllis — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 15:43:08 -0700

I'm not doing a memoir but I had a friend who wrote one for her entry last year and it was fascinating. It was formatted in the style of a scrapbook and it really covered her side of a very public rape case that she'd never commented on before. It was one of the most interesting things I've ever read.

Re: Memoirs?

Ms. Jboogie — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 21:10:51 -0700

I'm so glad to see other memoirists here! I am currently writing a memoir about the experience of caring for my grandmother, who had Alzheimer's Disease. She passed away on June 27, 2011. While her death has been very painful to deal with, it is her life, our life together, the way in which we dealt with her illness, and the lessons I learned along the way that I want to chronicle and celebrate. In addition, I want to write the kind of book I wish had existed when she was diagnosed four yeas ago. As others have previously said, write the story your heart wants to tell, and the fact that these stories are so close to our hearts will make it easier for us to write them. Good luck, everyone!!

Re: Memoirs?

Sascha — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 21:17:00 -0700

Hello fellow rebels! I had electric shock therapy in 2009 (I had planned to do NaNo that year apparently, tho that's not why I had ECT! haha how often do you hear shock treatment humor?) Anyway, the side effects from the ECT of memory loss and confusion caused me to forget my family (my husband and I divorced - I couldn't believe I was married to him), my friends, I lost years of my life and my daughter's childhood, my taste in foods changed...really I am a completely different person. But I am the same to everyone because I look the same, drive the same car, have the same kid. I say it is like walking around in a life forgotten...no one can possibly understand what it is like. I have fought to get my life back and learn to live within the parameters given to my by living with mental illness and ongoing side effects from the shocks. Now, two years on, I practice yoga daily, go to therapy once a week, my family is more familiar to me, and I have learned to let go of the past. I will be using flashbacks to illustrate how I got where I was in needing ECT in the first place (which I cannot remember so will be interviewing people and reading old journals and blogs). And the story will hopefully have a happy ending! Ultimately it is a story of hope and survival. I can't imagine writing anything else and I hope it will be both healing and insightful...it is good to finally be (back) here.

Re: Memoirs?

Leahwells — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 22:08:48 -0700

I am venturing into this realm for the first time. I will admit I am a tad nervous. My story is the struggles, the joy and the pain of living a lifestyle different from the mainstream, and even more different from others who are thought of when this lifestyle is thought about. It's titled Non-Traditional Polygamist Wife. The reason for Non-Traditional is we are not a part of any relgious sect, do not have a housefull of children (nor do we intend to), but have found a way of life that works for us. My husband encouraged me to write it, not so much as to change people's beliefs on the subject but maybe to provide an understanding that there are those of us, who do not fit into the sterotypes given to us.

Re: Memoirs?

fuziblu — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 22:27:18 -0700

I am reading a book you might find interesting. It is "My Life Deleted" by Scott and Joan Bolzan. He suffered a minor head injury and lost his memory. He not only did not know his wife, he did not know what the word "wife" meant. I am excited that you are writing your story and hope to read it some day. Welcome to NaNo and good luck with your writing.

Re: Memoirs?

fuziblu — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 22:37:49 -0700

Thank you. I think there are so many in our rebel group who will be taking a great journey in our writing - the journey of writing about the journey we have lived. I am so happy to be traveling on the same train with all of you for the next month. Blessings and the best of luck to us all.

Re: Memoirs?

Sascha — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 06:28:40 -0700

Thank you so much!! I will *definitely* pick that book up...

Re: Memoirs?

Alisha77 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 06:54:15 -0700

I am feeling better about writing a memoir now...I don't know if I will make it to 50,000 words but I will enjoy trying.

Re: Memoirs?

TheMomInformed — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 09:18:31 -0700

<---Memoir writer here as well. My life written out sounds fictionalized. LOL So, I plan on using it.

Re: Memoirs?

Passion4Film — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 11:36:59 -0700

Something I noticed - both here and at my Memoir-Writing Club in person - is that death is a big theme amongst people who want to write memoirs. I mean, obviously it isn't the only factor, and at a certain point, you're old enough to expect to have experienced death, but it's just something I've noticed - death influencing the need/desire to write a memoir. For me, my grandmother's death six months ago is a big factor. There's something about death that reminds us of our own mortality.

Re: Memoirs?

Lydia_Ember — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 17:10:04 -0700

That's interesting, Passion4Film. That is true for me, at least in some ways. The only death I'm going to really write about is my great grandmother’s, which is slightly ironic since I don't really know her. Still, they point is I don't really know my "own" family, so it fits. I'm glad I opted to include a "journal" I had started a few years ago. Since each page had 3 little comics outlining my point, I didn't think I wrote all that much. Each entry only took an hour, tops. After I tried to count them up, I saw that not only did that give me lee way in my off the books word count, but it's a way I find easy to describe what's going on. Somehow making a comic helps me distance myself enough to actually write it.

Re: Memoirs?

cstephen — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 18:03:44 -0700

I'm writing a memoir about my experiences with color blindness. For whatever reason, I've just been very passionate about trying to explain this crazy world to others. It gives me endless things talk about. Previous attempts to write a book-length anything have been thwarted by me worrying how polished my text is. I'm taking a different approach this time - pretend I'm writing a really REALLY long email to a friend. Write write write and don't look back!

Re: Memoirs?

cstephen — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 18:09:50 -0700

That sounds very interesting. I'd read that!

Re: Memoirs?

k.haskins — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 18:19:21 -0700

I'm doing a memoir. Its about breaking up with my gf of 3 years, and deciding suicide was the only way out of the pain (which, was never attempted, I ended up checking myself into the hospital for that reason). Then it talks about my recovery process, starting from the day I checked myself into the hospital though the rest of my recovery, including my diagnosis as have BPD, through all the therapy sessions-- until I reach 50k or until I decide it's enough... It's important for me though because this is something I never would've imagined to do, and now more than ever, I want to do something spectacular in my life. Writing a 50k memoir would be spectacular. PLUS I can internalize it all and have it to look back on and remember my struggle.

Re: Memoirs?

lizzy12 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 18:41:39 -0700

Thats so true! Personally my friends death has been so influential on me. It really changed my entire life

Re: Memoirs?

mo shaughnessy — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 19:35:47 -0700

itravel memoir two kids in love, from opposite ends of the earth, decide to take a road trip from buenos aires to new york city in the hopes of answering the question they've been asking themselves for seven years: where on earth should we attempt to raise a family?

Re: Memoirs?

MotionMystery — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 19:40:23 -0700

Yes I guess I am going renegade this year. This is my second WriMo. Last year I tried a detective mystery. It went poorly but I did it. This year I will try starting my memoir.

Re: Memoirs?

Heregoes — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 19:58:44 -0700

After taking a stab at writing some fiction after thinking about my own life all day and where to start, it seems like memoirs might be the place for me. I think I will write in some fiction around actual events, but don't really want to share it with those who have lived my life with me. I want to write about getting sober as a teenager, traveling internationally, and now living the life of a middle aged mom, so that is what I am going to start...at 11pm Nov. 1st.

Re: Memoirs?

rachelle.elisabeth — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 20:31:56 -0700

I was going to do a fictionalized memoir, but I started writing last night and today and it just wasn't working. So I'm officially writing a memoir I guess! I think the story I need to tell really needs to be mine, since it always was, not some other characters. Really I suppose I'm just covering the last few years of my life and how they've effected me, how I've grown - but mainly the relationship I was in and following all of that.

Re: Memoirs?

mstrom — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 23:27:52 -0700

I'd honestly be very interested in reading your book. I also had no idea that Electric Shock Therapy was still in practice today. Good luck with your nano writing!

Re: Memoirs?

Silatda — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 02:23:57 -0700

What I'm going to be writing is either going to be a memoir or a partially-fictionized memoir about when the "love of my life" (or so I thought) completely disappeared from my life one day, completely out of the blue after three years together, when I almost self-destructed, and the aftermath of that whole mess. I'm sure it's gonna hurt. A lot. But hey, catharsis over this may be just what I need to finally be able to slam that door in his face and stop looking back.

Re: Memoirs?

Mstermind1 — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 07:17:16 -0700

I think this is a great idea!

Re: Memoirs?

Ms. Jboogie — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 08:16:08 -0700

[quote=Passion4Film] Something I noticed - both here and at my Memoir-Writing Club in person - is that death is a big theme amongst people who want to write memoirs. I mean, obviously it isn't the only factor, and at a certain point, you're old enough to expect to have experienced death, but it's just something I've noticed - death influencing the need/desire to write a memoir. For me, my grandmother's death six months ago is a big factor. There's something about death that reminds us of our own mortality. [/quote] I'm also writing about my grandmother, who passed away four months ago. You are so right. Death reminds us of our own mortality. But, as we rise from the ashes and plow through our grief, we realize that we're stronger than we thought. Living our best life and learning life's lessons is the best way to honor our loved ones' memories.

Re: Memoirs?

sparkoflove — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 11:47:21 -0700

So, how's it going for everyone? Has anyone cried yet while writing? I have... and that's not really typical for me, so I wonder what this month is going to bring. I started the day off with a big case of writer's block. I just couldn't really write anything that I liked or that conveyed what I wanted to say. So, I took a break, did some cleaning, and tried to think of why I really want to share this story. I don't think it's enough motivation for me to write it out just to remember -- I have journals and photos for that. My ultimate goal for this story is to share it with others -- but in doing that, I'm trying to figure out what I want to say. What can a reader take away from my story? Is it just entertaining, is it just a difficult time and I am venting, or is there something more? As I started to think about the things I would like to say to the world if everyone stopped and listened, all of this emotion swelled up inside of me (cue the tears). I thought about the things that are the most important to me... the things I wish a younger me knew. The things I wish some of my friends knew. Not just about me, but about life. My values. What keeps me going. What makes something so daunting and scary (life) not so bad and beautiful. I'm not exactly sure of my exact direction or where I am going with my particular memoir, but I feel like I am getting closer. It's not just a recounting of events -- it's my emotional journey. I thought I was going to stay on the surface, but now I see I am going to have to dig deeper, expose myself and really search around my own soul for this story. In some ways, this seems much more difficult than doing it through the mask of a fictional character.

Re: Memoirs?

sostinkinhappy — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 13:19:01 -0700

[quote=sparkoflove] In some ways, this seems much more difficult than doing it through the mask of a fictional character. [/quote] More difficult yet so rewarding at the same time! Don't get me wrong, I love a well written book of fiction, but a well written memoir about *real* life is so much more interesting to me.

Re: Memoirs?

watercolour — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 14:06:01 -0700

I think maybe my post fits best in here. It's good to see so many people keen to write memoir for Nano again this year. In previous years I've written about 100k of memoir, which is growing into an autobiography. (yWriter has been a big help for keeping it all organised.) This year I'm ink-drawing and plan to create drawings of some of the jobs/people/places from memory, but I'll also be applying writing techniques like timed 'sprints' etc to drawing practice, so I have no idea how many pages to aim at yet or quite what will come out. I'm hoping my subconscious will wake up and play. Drawing under time pressure will force me to keep the pen moving, and that's all I want to do. Good luck all! I'll be following this thread to read about these memoir-nanos.

Re: Memoirs?

Heregoes — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 17:10:53 -0700

Wow, thanks for the list of questions. I was thinking I didn't want anyone to read this because it would block my writing right now. However, your questions evoked a sense of confidence in myself that one day I may share this work of whatever it actually becomes. I am now thinking that the audience will be my children and this is for them to read when they both become parents themselves - fictionally. Then I could actually give this to them to read when they are in their middle ages, kids or not. That is just an idea now as write this note back to you, to give me some direction through this. We'll see how it pans out again tonight. Good luck and thanks again!

Re: Memoirs?

CaptMonkey — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 21:13:48 -0700

I had considered doing a memoir this year, but since it's my first time participating, I decided to go with fiction. I think there's a good chance I'll do a memoir next year though. I really want to write about my time in the Air Force, particularly basic training. I enlisted in August 2001, just before 9/11. In fact, 9/11 happened during my second week of basic training, which was just about the strangest place to be for that. The only span of weeks during my life where I'm unable to read a paper or watch a TV and the biggest news event of my lifetime happens. And of course it has more effect on my life than most of the public who can watch TV or read the papers. It was an interesting experience that I've wanted to share.

Re: Memoirs?

ThresholdMum — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 02:02:40 -0700

hello fellow memoir writers I'm writing a travel memoir too, around transition to life living in Kenya (where we've been as a family for the last two years). I've been blogging for the last year, and now want to write new material to hopefully bring it together into a book. (One of) my difficulties, I don't have a sense of an ending yet as I still feel very caught up in it. But I'm hoping maybe the process of bringing it together and writing it will help me see what the episodes of the ending might be. Keen for Writing Buddies if this speaks to you.

Re: Memoirs?

harmonyinheartbeats — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 11:20:55 -0700

I appreciate this. :)

Re: Memoirs?

harmonyinheartbeats — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 11:21:08 -0700

I agree.

Re: Memoirs?

sparkoflove — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 13:33:10 -0700

To fictionalize or not? That is the question... So, I had a lot of breakthroughs yesterday, as I shared (see a few posts above). But at the end of the night, I suddenly realized: my story will be stronger if I write it as a piece of fiction, based on some true-life events (and now some not). I feel like so much has opened up in my writing now that the story is free to go in whichever direction I choose. I was having trouble with reshaping events the way I wanted them to be seen, but still sticking to the truth. There were lots of holes, many undeveloped characters, and missing essential details. Now that it's fiction, I can fill in those gaps and reinforce the greater, deeper message of my story. This may not be the right choice for everyone. Each person's memoir is different and is inspired by a different moment in our lives. We also all have different reasons as to why we're writing. Some people are doing it as therapy and some are doing it to share with their families or future children. Others want people to know the reality of their tragedy, to know that this event really happened and someone came out on the other side even stronger. There are some stories that would be weakened by fictionalizing and many times, comfort is found in the authenticity and reality of an unfortunate situation (and, of course, overcoming it). However, fiction -- for some of you -- may do your story a greater service. What is your message? What do you want to convey? Is that happening through your memoir? If not, maybe it's time to reevaluate. And if so, that's okay. The truth is in the message, not in the genre.

Re: Memoirs?

astrob78 — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 16:00:09 -0700

Well I guess this is the forum for me. I suppose I take, "write what you know" to heart. I have very little creativity for fiction writing, so I want to start on my memoir. It, too, starts with a death, but I feel like I have so many other stories to tell. Looking forward to the support!

Re: Memoirs?

pospen2011 — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 19:04:42 -0700

i am brand new to Nanowrimo, and really excited. I was approached about writing my book months ago and i think it is something that i am supposed to do, this is perfect! i have five kids and finding excuses not to sit down and write is really easy. My problem was that I could not come up with the story that i wanted to tell. i want my words to mean something, but i had no plot. I started writing on day one and it was all me - my story. I thought that maybe for my first go at a book, it wouldn't be such a bad idea. I have plently of material and i can get to my goal. finishing iis success - quality will come down the road!! now to get my sick baby to sleep for more than an hour so that i can stay on track!

Re: Memoirs?

Sparky66 — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 19:42:50 -0700

I am also new to NaNoWriMo. I am doing a memoir; but I haven't fictionalized anything as I read on the Help page in a list of rules. That would defeat the purpose of writing for me. I'm more interested in finishing than winning anything. This has been my dream for years, and I'm finally doing it. I have a good story about my own life, and I have a lot of people that have been telling me that I should write it down; to inspire others. So here I am... writing my story and hopefully starting a new career.

Re: Memoirs?

Writing_Ninja — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 19:45:54 -0700

It's only day 3 on nanowrimo. I have been trying to write a fantasy piece, but I've been having a hard time writing it because it seemed so fake. (Of course, it's fiction!) I was having a hard time writing emotion into my piece. It finally dawned on me to switch and just write a memoir. I've been having a hard time the past couple years. There's been a couple of deaths in my family, one was a suicide. Plus my health has been declining. So I'm changing. I hope I can make it. I have a little to catch up on. But nothing too bad.

Re: Memoirs?

TravisMaximus — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 20:35:26 -0700

I'm writing about recovering from an addiction to methamphetamine and my employment in a mental health facility.

Re: Memoirs?

Shaunaaah — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 21:14:57 -0700

I'm considering doing a memoir. I've always wanted to write about the impact my genetics have had on me (let's just say they're bad enough that I'm not having kids so that I don't pass them/it on). And I've been having a lot of difficulty getting myself into the mood for fiction and have been stuck in introspection mode. Except I have no idea to go about writing a memoir, I'm fairly sure I've never even read one. And I'm in my second year of university so I don't have much spare time.

Re: Memoirs?

Writing_Ninja — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 21:35:47 -0700

I never have written one either. I'm basing all of my thoughts off of my journal that I kept during my hard times. Mostly I'm doing a lot of reflective work. I'm going to share a few events that have a theme, explained what I went through, how hard/easy it was, and what I ultimately learned.

Re: Memoirs?

CranberryMars — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 22:02:43 -0700

Do it. Get it out. I am facing the same situation. So much sickness around me. I am weighing my options with whether or not to fictionalize anything. Many people will feel hurt when I write my real feelings.

Re: Memoirs?

CranberryMars — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 22:04:50 -0700

You know what? I think it's absolutely genius to show the parallel between your grieving and the city's grief. I would totally love to read that story. I am a person who has had to death with loss of my father. I am also a community activist who has fought hard for urban dwellers. I am so intrigued that you have drawn this comparison and I really want you to do it!!! It sounds like something that would be published.

Re: Memoirs?

nolagirl — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 06:57:44 -0700

Sparkoflove - I'm struggling because I'm only writing what I remember and its feeling very confining to try to stick to only the facts. However, I feel like if I am going to fictionalize - I should just write a completely fictional novel - but I have no idea for a plot. I will have to give your post some thought. It feels wrong somehow to fictionalize - but I think I may have to if I am going to get anywhere with this.

Re: Memoirs?

Writing_Ninja — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 12:17:57 -0700

After doing some writing today. I agree with you. Fictionalizing my memoir would be more powerful. I ran into the problem with trying to get my point across with the facts and not making the people look bad, even though there's some where I don't have kind feelings for. My main message was just overcoming things in life where people tell you that you can't. I've experienced so much "You're wrong." It wasn't getting the point across because I struggle with the balance of being true to people and sticking to the facts. But in truth, it's all emotional. It's the little things that built up over time. Fictionalizing gives me that freedom to freely express the things I would have been embarrassed to admit.

Re: Memoirs?

Heregoes — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 13:55:29 -0700

I was very productive today when I was writing. I only wish I didn't have to stop, but life does happen around writing I suppose. Funny how I saw all the warnings of the laundry getting piled up before starting this. I thought not me, I've got it together...7 loads of laundry later today piled on the bed needing to be folded and all I want to do is get back to writing...it's got me. I think what I want to get across will come through as I get deeper into this. Already things are rising through the stories and themes are presenting themselves. These are themes about myself that I didn't know were there - I learned a lot about myself today. I can't imagine this would be enjoyable for others to read unless I throw some compelling fiction in around it later...Well back to life, no time to write right now!

Re: Memoirs?

watercolour — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 14:37:35 -0700

For anyone new to memoir or struggling to get started, they say it helps to write some of the key 'scenes' from your life. Maybe make a list of some of the main events/experiences/'scenes' you want to include then write about them in any order. The hardest way is in strict chronological order. That can be a real 'plod' and tends to wear you down. It doesn't matter if you don't yet have an 'angle' in mind, or know what it is you really want to say. Once you get into the writing of it, sidedoors in your memory seem to open, so what you first wanted to say may change.

Re: Memoirs?

Unforsaken — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 23:23:37 -0700

I started reading Fearless Confessions: A Writer's guide to Memoir just before starting, as someone had recommended in this thread I believe. It's been very helpful. She says one of the things to keep in mind is that you're writing truth only as far as you remember and perceive it. As in, someone who was there with you may see the same situation in a completely different light. Your job is to write YOUR story, how you saw it. Most readers will be able to recognize that EVERY detail you write is not necessarily gospel truth, but it is what you experienced with perhaps a little extra color filled in. So for me I'm taking some dim memories (I'm writing about my whole life experience), and I'm just adding details that are not necessarily false, but bring to life some still images in my head. I've been quite surprised by what I've come up with as I allow myself to just write without stressing over if it's perfect truth and how I'm portraying others.

Re: Memoirs?

evelyn — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 23:30:05 -0700

Sometime earlier this year, my mom and I were talking about some of the really harmful things my father had done when I was a kid, my father being someone who falls closer to the far end of the range from "very difficult person" to "non-violent/high-functioning sociopath." I half-jokingly remarked a writing project that would have to wait for publication* until after she had passed on was: "Rotten Stories About My Father," and she immediately replied: "But hey! I'd want to read that!" So this year I'm going memoir-Rebel, with the ultimate goal of producing a reasonably readable draft of "Rotten Stories About My Father" well before my 84-yo mother should eventually shuffle off this mortal coil. (Any & all good thoughts towards her continued longevity warmly appreciated :). (*PS. Don't get me wrong - it's not like I have any writing projects published now, or even any at all close to ready for potential publication.)

Re: Memoirs?

Madding — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 01:09:37 -0700

I'm impressed with how brave so many of you are to tell such personal stories about your lives! I'm amazed at how well people can soldier on after such heartbreaking experiences as losing a child. I hope that this year's nano can be a part of your healing process. I'm doing a memoir this year for the first time, but it's mostly a humorous take on my miserable two years as a substitute teacher. I went to more than 50 schools ranging from poor inner city schools to the rich suburbs to even my own alma mater. I taught almost every grade and subject at least once and met some insane and interesting people (teachers and kids both!). I've toyed with fictionalizing parts of it, but we'll see what happens when I get to 30K and how many stories I have left to tell...

Re: Memoirs?

N_E_Star — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 06:57:44 -0700

I'm a doula and am also studying to be a midwife. You're story is the nightmare lurking in the back of my head every time I attend a birth, so I cheer you for the courage to share your story.

Re: Memoirs?

pfeifferswimmer — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 07:52:00 -0700

This is such an inspiring thread. I recently moved to Hong Kong as a Young Adult Missionary working with an NGO and through training everyone told me I needed to write a book. So well, now I am. Not sure how much past I want to include to still my point across and share God's work in my life but I guess i can figure that out as NaNo goes along. No idea how to write a memoir either this will be a learning as I go experience. Would love some Writing Buddies

Re: Memoirs?

purplume — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 14:10:09 -0700

I started out writing a book for a grandaughter and now I see it is a memoir. Since starting Nano I realize how much my inner 4 year old has been running my life. It will be about the dark secret she buried so deeply that I only found it 60 years later. You all sound so interesting. I feel at home here.

Re: Memoirs?

B. Susan — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 14:19:41 -0700

A lot of inspiring stories on here! I am doing a memoir about shame and secrecy around ethnic identity in my mother's family. (it's a pretty obscure one: Slovenian :-) I did the first part of it last year on NaNoWriMo. The book will probably end up as sort of a hybrid: a family memoir that incorporates elements of "straight nonfiction" ( examination of the genealogy craze in this country, personal DNA testing, etc.) Oh, and probably a recipe or two. Good luck, everyone!

Re: Memoirs?

_daisy_ — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 18:25:18 -0700

Hello Well it's five days in and there were some remarkable stories earlier in the thread. I hope you're all doing okay. I have started my memoir by writing vignettes from different times in my life as I wanted to go where the mood took me rather than stick to a chronological order. Having thought I'd start out with a few of the less emotional topics I have today been hijacked and felt compelled to write about the death of my much loved gran. There were tears, of course, but I am pleased that I have done it, it was nice to spend time with her memory at least this afternoon. I'm going to try and write about 'light' and 'dark' topics alternately as far as possible so I don't get too sad. The capacity for learning, reframing and letting go is going to be enormous on this journey, look after yourselves folks. hugs all round daisy

Re: Memoirs?

David P. Whittaker — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 13:39:46 -0800

As someone said, I feel better about writing a memoir now. I see I'm not the only one doing this in order to come to terms from loss. I lost my wife to pancreatic cancer in May. It was her fourth cancer in her all too brief life. She also suffered from rheumatoid arthritis, hypothyroidism, and once had complete heart block requiring a pacemaker. Despite that, she held a Masters in Music, founded and performed with a number of music groups, and composed music from arrangements of medieval music to interactive computer programs. She didn't just sit at home, either. We hiked Mt. Whitney before the snow melted, hacking steps in the ice, explored Denali park, flew through through Alaska and the Yukon, and stalked the streets of Paris at night together (where she found an old homeless Greek guitarist to sing with). She took every second of life, because she knew she probably wouldn't have a full life span. Up until a month before she passed, she walked a mile a day, even though she was getting 90% of her nutrition through an IV drip. Half a mile to the library, rest two hours with a mystery novel, half an hour back. Like the Little Mermaid, each step she took was like knives passing through her. But she walked until she couldn't. And she lived until she couldn't. I'm sorry, that was probably too long. I'm like that when I talk about her. Or, as you can see, when I write about her. But how could I not write about her?

Re: Memoirs?

Lydia_Ember — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 16:12:04 -0800

I haven't wanted to touch my memoir at all. I kept thinking it was laziness but now I see it's just pain. Lots of pain. I borrowed a book called "I Am My Mother's Daughter" a few days ago, but I didn't want to read it yet. I started to today and am still crying, mainly out of frustration and partially out of pain. This book wants the reader to do something I've more or less found it impossible to do: talk to my mother. Either I was rejected right away, given the false pretense that I was going to be granted time to speak but had to constantly let her finish or, most annoyingly, said what I wanted to say then hear some icy reply that made me wish I had simply kept my mouth shut. To this day I have issues with talking to others irl. I guess the only reason I'm posting this on-line is there's tons of pseudonyms on-line. That bit of distance makes me feel safer typing this out to total strangers than saying a word to my family. I'm more or less expecting to be rejected, even from my own significant other. I know this is hurting how I go about things and has twisted how I see a lot of things. I waft between blaming myself for wanting too much and raging at how incredibly difficult things can be for the dumbest reasons. I know I need to write this, but I don't want it to turn into 50K's worth of rants. I want it to be thought out. Do y'all think I should read some more on this subject and include my reaction as part of it? Should I want until the distant day that I actually patch things up with my folks? Should I just "man up", grab a case of Sam Adams and write?

Re: Memoirs?

Lydia_Ember — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 16:14:09 -0800

Hey, don't apologize for that. She sounds like she was a beautiful individual. I hope you find peace as you explore your life with her, both before and now in memory.

Oops I finished my Memoirs - now what?

Debbe — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 17:19:48 -0800

Well after 6 pgs & 3500 words, I'm done! I always knew my life wasn't that exciting. What shall I do? Shall I resurrect last year's unfinished historical novel? That will still make me a rebel.

Re: Memoirs?

ThresholdMum — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 21:03:14 -0800

@Lydia_Ember Thanks for sharing. My partner has similar difficulties and I know from watching him how incredibly painful he finds it all. A book I found very helpful when coming to terms with my childhood - and which I think would tie in well with NaNoWriMo because it gets you doing writing exercises - was Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing your inner child by John Bradshaw. It takes you (at your speed, when you choose) through exerc ises at different stages where you remember what was going on for the small you, and then write letters to the child of that age from you now. I found it very powerful, but most importantly it uncovers what was happening, but with a sense of understanding for the child then, and for me, a big sense of healing. A long way from rants, but a deep sense of pity and understanding, - and of feeling understood by someone who really knows. Do inbox me if you'd like to know more. I'm really glad to be part of this group and the inner and outer work we're all going through this month. Courage!

Re: Memoirs?

purplume — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 00:24:09 -0800

David, I think your book is going to be very heartfelt, like this. I am touched by yours and so many of the posts.

Re: Memoirs?

purplume — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 00:26:39 -0800

I agree that rants are draining to read and to write. I also think just write and you can sort it out later. It often seems like some of my best thoughts come during a word war when i'm not thinking too much. XD

Re: Oops I finished my Memoirs - now what?

purplume — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 00:28:14 -0800

Do you see any theme that emerged about you life or where you want it to go from here? You could stay a rebel or gasp, join the mainstream. Best luck whichever way you go.

Re: Memoirs?

Juliet Catherine — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 02:09:38 -0800

I am writing a memoir on my mom who Committed Suicide six years ago and how it was growing up with her demons. So far so good. Its been good therapy for me :)

Re: Memoirs?

Libithina — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 13:15:00 -0800

hugs you two, I too lost a stillborn baby boy Thomas to term in 1993, let me know how you go ~ Lib xx

Re: Memoirs?

Libithina — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 13:19:54 -0800

that is very raw after a month .. blessings to you .. for those that are writing about their stillbirth experience please let me know how you're going ~ Lib x x my son was born asleep 1993

Re: Memoirs?

Libithina — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 13:21:21 -0800

I'd love to read that about your exp as disney char ~ let me know how you go ~ Lib

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Libithina — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 13:24:35 -0800

I think people would find it interesting ~ let me know how you go ~ Lib

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LGrace — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 13:34:43 -0800

Dear Lib: Thank you for your comment. Would you add me as a buddy and tell me what you are writing about or tell me how to add you as a buddy???

Re: Memoirs?

lizzy12 — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 14:19:42 -0800

Hows it going for everyone? I'm having trouble because i feel liek i'm not making it interesting enough for others. It's so bland. But, there really is so much meaning in the experinces!

Re: Memoirs?

Madding — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 15:12:08 -0800

Progress Update: I've been surprised at how easy it is to add dialogue to scenes from my life...I guess because I tell these stories so often it's easier. I also am just letting myself spew out as much social commentary as I want for the sake of my wordcount...luckily I have a lot of opinions!

Re: Memoirs?

Heregoes — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 17:18:56 -0800

I feel the very same way. But I have put aside that for now and am just writing for myself right now then adding in more descriptions and filling in around the edges later. I don't know if it'll ever be interesting for someone else to read and I'm not so sure I will be ready to share it with someone sometime. So its still for me right now and for my kids in the distant future. At least not thinking about it not sounding great to someone else is helping me write more words. Good luck and let me know if you find any answers to this quandary!

Re: Oops I finished my Memoirs - now what?

Debbe — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 19:11:58 -0800

Thanks. I realized while lying awake last night that I really need to flesh it out. Especially the whole near-blindness episode, what it was caused by and how it was resolved. I think there's still a bit more to the story - then I may jump over to the other side!

Re: Memoirs?

Miss Procrastination — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 21:01:00 -0800

i started to write a fiction story this year, (my second year) but it's not flying too well... but i did go to Africa the summer before last, and i have had a lot of crazy things happen in my life lately, my best friend passed away, i worked at an amazing camp, and several people have told me that i should write a book about it. so i'm thinking i'm gonna fold up the mermaid story, and write about something i know.

Re: Memoirs?

Allival — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 21:33:53 -0800

I guess it's a common source of sorrow, although it sure doesn't feel common when it happens to you. Among a number of other topics, I'm writing about losing my baby in an ectopic pregnancy last summer. My condolences for your losses.

Re: Memoirs?

Lydia_Ember — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 06:26:14 -0800

My guy helped me come to a breakthrough. Apparently, since I'm so used to having to wait to get my emotional needs met, I don't want to ask for it now. I want love and acceptance, but I'm so used to being an outsider in that department. I'm also afraid of losing the few times I do feel accepted as I am. That's a fancy way of saying both this memoir and my main NaNo have taken a hit.

Re: Memoirs?

Mikko'sMommy — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 15:18:21 -0800

[quote=kvsmm] Write the story that you need to tell. It doesn't matter if it 'counts' to anyone but you and to God, but you will be happier to let it all out in a safe place - on paper. Been there, done that, and I promise you, the writing will start your healing. [/quote] Totally AGREE!

Re: Memoirs?

Mikko'sMommy — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 15:20:24 -0800

[quote=LGrace] Hello: The Memoir I am working on is called "The DoorKeeper." I survived a stabbing years ago after my mother's funeral while visiting with a friend. Her 16 year old son stabbed her to death in the basement of their home. Without provocation he began stabbing me. God spoke and told me three specific things to do (and I obeyed those things) in order to get out of the house alive. I have always wanted to write and publish the faith journey of survival, healing and forgiveness that I experienced first hand. What do you think??? [/quote] I'd love to hear this story. If readers don't believe God spoke to you, it will be fiction to them.

Re: Memoirs?

Mikko'sMommy — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 15:22:11 -0800

ABOUT LOSS I am so sorry for the losses I've read about on this page. Writing helps. And rules are made to be bent, twisted, and broken. If you don't believe me, ask your Congressperson. (No disrespect intended.) Lynn

Re: Memoirs?

sparkoflove — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 09:05:49 -0800

Update: So, I've decided to heavily fictionalize my story. It became a lot easier to figure out where I was going, I felt I could describe some people's personalities more accurately. But I also realized I really need to do much more planning -- increase the natural flow of the story. Originally, I was thinking: essays. But now, I want a cohesive story. It's stalled me for the past few days as I work on key structural issues and scene planning, but now that part's done and I can get to the crazy writing of it all. It's going... well, so far, but again, writing a book is kind of difficult (as we all know). One thing I've noticed about fictionalizing: There is more of a sense of detachment... and I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. In some ways, it's good because I can be outside of the character and understand her not as me and not get stuck on certain feelings I had, etc, etc. In other ways, I think I may be being too distant at times. So I want to still keep that raw, honest, exposed feeling in the book even if it's fiction. How's it going for all of you?

Re: Memoirs?

SueFair — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 11:07:46 -0800

I've started a memoir too and was discouraged by it until I started reading this forum. I love memoirs if done right and I think a LOT of you here will have fabulous ones in the end. I hope I will too - your courage has inspired me to keep going! Thanks!

Re: Memoirs?

WriverWriter — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 13:47:06 -0800

I called it chick lit because I planned to write from first person with humor and end up with a happy ending . The chick has a long drawn out crisis of chronic illness, verbal abuse and a grown son who is constantly in trouble along with her changing family of cats and meditation and introspection, she manages to find happiness in herself in a life in which the problems don't change but she does. Her outer life doesn't change that much until to the fantasy ending which actually is a real possibility. But mine is definitely based on my life. The fiction will be in the part that hasn't come yet and how I would like to see things work out. And, like a memoir there may be fictionalized accounts for protection or to keep the story moving. I wrote a lot at first that was kind of funny because I can find humor in anything which probably is only funny to me but there are some parts that were pretty seriously bad and as I write them I wonder how I will weave the story together. I write about subjects and ideas I want to address as I feel moved to write them and plan to put the order in later I love fantasy writing and mysteries but for me what comes out is the lessons and thoughts that I have. I am sure many of you have had the experience in which you tell someone a story from your life that you have kind of come to terms with and they look at you with such sorrow in their eyes that you realize the experience really was that bad. When I see that look I usually start backtracking and saying why it wasn't so bad I feel so weird when I see that look in their eyes.

Re: Memoirs?

Fiona W — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 21:11:38 -0800

Any of you memoirists experiencing pain from your memories? I don't mean just the obviously painful things to write about, but the good memories, too... Today while working on my autobiographical novel, there were tears streaming down my face and I eventually had to stop because I couldn't stand it anymore. And I wasn't writing about anything but memories of good times with a friend of mine, back in the 1980s. She and I are still in touch--it's not like I'm sad because of anything to do with her--it just felt like those times are so long ago and so far away... like the sweetness of the memories was killing me, because I'll never be able to go back there, never be able to relive even one day from that time period. It makes me feel nuts! Anyone else having such issues?

Re: Memoirs?

Lydia_Ember — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 13:32:54 -0800

I shouldn't have attempted this. There is so much that I'd rather have buried. So much I want to simply forget. A lot of it is the time I've wasted because I was too depressed to talk to anyone, so I spent several years of my life alone excluding school and such. I just wanna finish my other NaNo so I can prove to myself that I can write on demand, even though all this emotional stuff ate over a week of good writing time.

Re: Memoirs?

chimeracandor — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 15:56:20 -0800

I'm attempting an autobiography in pure poetic format. I'm gonna call it Fluid Insanity but at this rate it'll take years.

Re: Memoirs?

fuziblu — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 18:43:45 -0800

I don't think it matters how long it takes. I started my memoir several years ago. Planned to finished it this year. But I found myself at a point that was so excruciatingly painful, I sought counseling to deal with my agony. Am finally discovering the last missing pieces to my story and anxious to get back to the writing of it. But the time is not yet right - a few more weeks and it will be. Sorry Nano for the delay, and all you brave souls in memoir, I am with you in spirit.

Re: Memoirs?

MistyRider — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 07:57:32 -0800

Fuziblu, I hear you! I started working on my memoir around '97 and just couldn't do it yet and even became self destructive.. Everything was still too fresh and raw. So I put it aside and went on with life, and over the last decade or so I've periodically worked on parts of it. Last year's nano, I did over 50k words on it and since then have been slowly editing and adding more. I just have to pace it with the kinder things in life. My memoir centers around recovering from violent abuse. I was a single mother at the time and sometimes I have no idea how I got through it all. But I feel it's a story worth telling, that could be of some help to other survivors, and I've been getting lots of support from fellow writers. The biggest help for me is, like you say, timing it carefully and getting outside help if you need it. I am with you in spirit too, take all the time you need. :-)

Re: Memoirs?

fuziblu — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 14:51:34 -0800

MistyRider, thank you so much for your understanding and encouragement. I was also a single mother, and often wondered how I survived. My son was destined to travel my difficult road with me - which was his own difficult road too. He was terribly abused and terrorized on his fourth birthday. Learning this fact unblocked the hidden memories of my own terrible abuse at the hands of the very same person at nearly the same age. I had to survive in order to help him survive. I think, as mothers, much of what we survive is because of our children - because they give us strength, because they forgive us, because they trust us above all else, because we must survive to know that they are okay. Because they love us and we love them beyond all the love of storybook mothers. I'd like to stay in touch. How about you?

Re: Memoirs?

MistyRider — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 22:09:46 -0800

Wow, it sounds like a very horrible time for both you and your son. And yah, I don't know if I would have survived if it wasn't for my daughter. I had no option but to keep on going for her sake. I'd like to stay in touch too! I'll go add you to my buddy list and send you my email address. :-)

Re: Memoirs?

chimeracandor — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 17:17:02 -0800

Dear lizzy12 It doesn't need to be entertaining as you put it. It needs to be heartfelt odds are someone will get something out of it. if it never leaves your desktop than you learned something. As to anything else you're at least 16,000 words ahead of me and i estimate it could take me up to 6 years to finish the first draft on my novel. Good Luck.

Re: Memoirs?

Artesia — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 17:34:29 -0800

I just found this "Rebels" area and this "Memoirs?" thread, 20 days in. I've done, and won, NaNo before, always writing novels. This year on Halloween--one day before start day--I decided that I had struggled with a memoir for long enough and that NaNo would give me the prod I'd need to just get on with it, even though it was breaking the rules and working in nonfiction. And so, without much planning, I started writing. My story isn't as raw as some who have posted here. But I can attest to a couple of things. Writing about it when the events are still fresh is crucial, to get down the events in their most detailed form, if at all possible. In re-writing, then, you'll have a lot of material that is authentic to pull from. I am using journals from the period of my life in which things happened, as raw material to jog my memory, and I am extraordinarily glad to have them now, some 20 years later. But there is something to be said for allowing events to cool, for gaining perspective on what happened, too. It feels like I finally have the maturity to view what happened in a broader light and therefore the book will have a more rounded character. At least I hope so. Even though I've been writing all of my life, this memoir is the most difficult project I've taken on. It is just hard to get outside my own skin...to relive difficult events through narrating them...to know how much ought to be summarized versus dramatized. But I am learning a great deal through the process! I just wanted to wish everyone on this thread the very best in using true events from their lives to create something. Whether or not we win NaNo, we are doing something very meaningful to us, aren't we?

Re: Memoirs?

MistyRider — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 21:18:38 -0800

I just want to commend all of you on this forum for your courage to dig in and create art from your experiences, painful and otherwise. And to extend my sincere hope for those of you currently in tough places that writing will help you along on your journey. I've been going to a memoir workshop since September, and it's SUPER helpful to sit down with like-minded folks and work through the types of questions that we've been grappling with here, to get support for telling one's story, and to be inspired and moved by other peoples' stories. I highly recommend finding such a group to help you keep going after nano. Even though I haven't written much this year within nano itself - too much going on in the rest of my life - it's been worth signing on just to be a part of this forum and read all the good things in here. YOU ALL ROCK!!!!! :>)

Re: Memoirs?

Debbe — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 14:18:48 -0800

And wow, you're almost finished! Congrats!

Re: Oops I finished my Memoirs - now what?

Debbe — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 14:28:05 -0800

In the end, I decided to do Appendices to further explain in detail what was going on in 4 areas of my life. This allowed me to keep to the humorous tone throughout the book, and not detract from my original theme (i..e., not being a grand prize winner in any area of my life/falling short of my goals and dreams). And I urged the reader in the Aferword not to bother reading the Appendices, haha! As you can see, I'm already beyond 11,000! Still not enough for a NaNo win, but my memoirs will be pretty detailed! I think they are ok for any of my loved ones to read after I'm gone, and have attached a note and put them in the drawer where I keep my "death" documents!

Re: Memoirs?

ThresholdMum — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 21:02:16 -0800

I've got a quotation which I love which has been buzzing through my head this month. I wanted to share it with this great, courageous community of fellow memoir writers, before 1 December and we split up. 'Be patient towards all that is unsolved in your heart, and seek to love the questions themselves, like books written in a foreign tongue. (...) Do not seek the answers, live the questions.' Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet Living the questions is for me what this memoir thread of rebels has been about. Proud to be one of you.

Re: Memoirs?

Wills Nan — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 23:49:02 -0800

Hi All Just validated and won!!! Would not have done it without you. Thanks X

Re: Memoirs?

Debbe — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 05:16:31 -0800

Congrats to all who finished, especially those who won! But we're all winners, if we wrote down the story of our lives. I'm just shy of 12k, but my memoirs are finished, up to this point. Still a work in progress, but I'm off to Portugal. If for some reason I don't return, my memoirs are where my family can find and enjoy them. There's something very cathartic about giving ourselves a happy ending before the bitter end! Cheers - see you next year!

Re: Memoirs?

David P. Whittaker — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 12:51:26 -0800

I got through, too. I think that's a more accurate statement than "won". I like to write, but this month I really had to drag myself to the keyboard. Wrote a few light hearted short stories, just to take a break. But I've got a pretty solid 50K, totally rough draft but I'm not sure I feel up to polishing it and expanding sections. Not just yet. Congrats to all of you, no matter how much you wrote.

Re: Memoirs?

wyrdbyrd — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 21:45:09 -0800

I swear, there were points where I was picking at the keyboard, paging through scene notes and thinking, "Do I really have to dredge this stuff up *again*?" I let myself sulk, but then I yanked myself out of it and considered all the promises I'd made about how well I was going to treat myself if I actually won this year. I must admit, busting 40K felt a lot better than 50K. I was pretty sick of it by then. I think that next year I will try to do more social NaNo stuff. as that may help. Also, next year I am *so* not writing about my Dad again. ugh.