Winning was a disappointment.
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Copyright © 2012 The Office of Letters and Light :: All posted novel excerpts remain copyright their authors.
Winning was a disappointment.
I got to the 50K.
I can't see the purple bar because of the browser that I am using.
Although I can print a winner's certificate, it doesn't have my name in it. I have to put it in there myself.
The thread in which I announced my win got locked so no one can add a note of congratulations.
This is a pretty empty feeling "victory".
:-(
All I am left with is an empty feeling . . . it's over . . . that's it.
I am trying to hold on to a sense of accomplishment . . . but having a hard time doing even that.
I am also trying to hold on to the writing habits that I have developed over the last month. Sadly, I am finding that it isn't that easy to do. In fact, it is harder to write now that it was a couple days ago . . . before I became a winner.
I guess it might be different if I had been regular NaNo instead of a Rebel. Maybe then I would be celebrating having my own novel in my hands.
I have my collection of debris.
Waah Waah Waah! I am being a crybaby. Well, a bit of a crybaby. Finding that other thread locked this morning robbed me of even a smattering of good feelings about "winning".
Anyone else dealing with a sense of emptiness after reaching that 50K goal?
Re: Winning was a disappointment.
Well, it was not so much announcing your win as asking a technical question about the site, which has been asked before in the tech help forum (hence why I didn't move it.)
You are, however, welcome to post a shoutout in the Shoutouts forum (there's a long thread for winners there!)
In the end, all that matters is the manuscript. That's the real prize of the event, the real thing to cherish. We've got winner goods and shoutout threads, even a winner's tshirt if you want to buy one, but it's all icing on the cake.
You finished a novel. That's something to celebrate. :)
Re: Winning was a disappointment.
Dragonchilde,
Perhaps that was what it looked like to you . . . for me, it was basically expressing the same things that I said in this thread. Since this was my first NaNo, there was no way for me to have known that my experience wasn't the norm.
From what Kaleidoscope27 says, this let-down feeling I am experiencing isn't that much out of the ordinary. I am glad to know that I am not alone.
A funny thing happened for me when I read: I Wrote A Novel, Now What. It took me back to the 2007 version of this site. Even as a first-timer, I could recognize that as a technical problem and I reported it on the appropriate forum.
As I explored that old version, I got to see some of the Purple Winner bars from back then . . . and something like that would have been neat for me to have gotten when I validated my word count.
I understand now that a glitch deprived me of that celebratory moment.
A word of understanding or compassion from you in either thread would have helped.
Both Rabini and Kaleidoscope posted before you. Their posts let me know that my feelings of disappointment or let-down were understandable and shared. Your words did not do that for me.
I know that you have a job to do but it might help if you took a moment to see what it feels like from my side.
BTW -- I am disabled. I haven't been able to work since June 2009. Although I have applied for disability, my case is still in limbo and I have had no income since June 2009. I am not in a position to buy myself any icing on the cake.
Words of understanding and support from you in the original thread would have been nice. Even a congratulations for reaching 50K.
The title of my other thread was "Am I A Winner?" You might have said, "Yes, you are a winner!" before you locked the thread.
Sadly, you have not helped to make my first NaNowrimo a rewarding experience.
Maybe next time.
~ ~ ~ ruwth ~ ~ ~
Re: Winning was a disappointment.
I'm genuinely sorry you feel that way. I know it may seem like I'm not being compassionate; However, I deal with a large volume of posts (at any given moment, there are tens of thousands of people here, and they're all posting like mad!) I don't always have time to stop and personalize every message. I wish I could; I'm not, however, superwoman. I do try, but this year, I've been absolutely over-my-head swamped with the site, and you can see by my word count that I've even failed at that for the first time in five years.
This means that unfortunately... those extra few moments are often not there. I assure you, though, that I do know what it's like on your side. It was never my intention to deprive you of any feeling of joy. I just have to do my job, regardless of how long you've been here, you know? If I took the time to check the join date of every person who posted, I wouldn't have time to do much else! Your question was answered, it was asked in the wrong place, so I had to do what I do every time I see a post like that: I closed the thread, and redirected you to the appropriate place.
As someone with a husband going through the same process, my sympathies are totally with you. I wasn't implying that you should, just letting you know that the option was there if you wanted it. We're a bootstrapping non-profit here, so our goodies tend to be virtual. With over 300,000 participants, and tens of thousands of winners, we can't afford to send everyone a t-shirt (boy, but we wish we could.)
Unfortunately, I'm very, very bad at reading what's not written. Your entire first post was asking about how the site worked; your question was answered, and there was already a thread about it in the appropriate place, so I closed the thread and redirected you to where you could find more information. Your question was answered, so I didn't see the point in reiterating what others had already told you.
I don't think there's anything I can say that will make you feel better, but I will say I'm sorry, and I hope you understand that offense was never intended. I tend to be very business-like when I'm working, and don't have time for a lot of the social niceties when I'm up to my eyeballs in work, you know? I'm not trying to be rude, but I do hope you'll forgive me for not always having time to answer the questions or get into the conversation when I have a job to do.
Re: Winning was a disappointment.
Dragonchilde,
I think you are wrong about there not being anything that you can say. What you have said here has certainly blessed me. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond here. I should have been a bit more understanding of how broad your responsibilities are . . . since I see you everywhere!
i not only forgive you . . . but trust that you will forgive me as well,
Thank you for going above and beyond this time! I truly appreciate it!
~ ~ ~ ruwth ~ ~ ~
Re: Winning was a disappointment.
I guess I am not alone . . .
Now I am reading: I Wrote A Novel, Now What?
If you, like me, are experiencing a sense of let down, you might want to take a gander at this as well!
Write On!
~ ~ ~ ruwth ~ ~ ~
Re: Winning was a disappointment.
I hear you... I got to the 50k point and my novel is not even close to being done. But now I'm feeling like I reached some milepost that really has not much meaning to me because my goal was to finish a DRAFT. So now I haven't reached MY goal, but I have reached A goal. I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm actually going to do my own little nano in mid-December to mid-January (no school...) and try to immerse myself in a way that I was unable during November.
Re: Winning was a disappointment.
Robini,
CONGRATULATIONS for writing almost 60,000 words already this month!
Best of luck with your plans for your school break NaNo kind of thing.
How far are you from finishing your first draft? Will another burst of commitment get you there?
It appears that, like me, this was your first year of participating in NaNo. It was a bit of a comfort for me to read what Kaleidoscope27 had to say:
You have your what-to-do-next.
One thing I did today was to visit your profile here . . . your working title made me laugh! So did your hobbie section.
Like you, I reached 50K this month without having reached my personal goal. My plan for NaNo was to write several articles and I was not successful at doing that - hence the "collection of debris". But, also like you, I can take a moment to congratulate myself on what I have accomplished this month . . . and continue moving toward my own goal.
Keep writing . . . keep moving toward YOUR GOAL!
Thanks for your words of understanding!
~ ~ ~ ruwth ~ ~ ~
Re: Winning was a disappointment.
Yes! Congratulations to YOU! I realized later last night that I did not say, "Welcome to the Winners' Club!"
Welcome to the Winners' Club!
Now you can tell people you've written your rough draft and you are editing it... Once you start doing that, satisfaction may grow...
Tell as many people as you can!
Re: Winning was a disappointment.
Ah, welcome to the Post-NaNo Blues. It doesn't make a different if you rebel or do NaNo "properly." You still get that feeling of "now what?" at the end. Believe me, this is my 9th year and I still hit the end and sort of sit there wondering what to do next.
Just focus on the fact that YOU, yes, YOU wrote over 50,000 words in 30 days. Be proud of your own achievement! It's not about purple bars and certificates. It's about what YOU managed to do. In years past I used to put the final copy of my NaNo draft on my USB drive and wear it round my neck for a few hours in recognition of my winning.
Re: Winning was a disappointment.
Kaleidoscope27,
The Post-NaNo Blues, eh? Somebody should have warned me! LOL
Well, since this is your 9th year, I can see that there is life after the Post-NaNo Blues! You survived and returned for yet another year.
* * * CONGRATULATIONS on your 9th WIN! * * *
Great advice!
Thanks for the words of encouragement . . . and for letting me know that I am not alone.
Write On!
~ ~ ~ ruwth ~ ~ ~
Re: Winning was a disappointment.
Ruwth - Congratulations! Well done - it must have been something to make the commitment to 50K when you have a disability to distract or encumber you, plus unemployment to just give you that extra sense of good cheer that comes from not having an income. So well done for taking up the challenge, and for doing it!
And a purple bar and certificate - who knew? My husband's done this for years and never mentioned it. However he is very un-material and probably just didn't notice. I didn't realise this, but will look forward - without too much expectation - and hope it works on my browser.
I was way off 50K this morning. I was thinking of maybe setting a date in December. And then I thought - gee, I wonder what I'd have to do to make 50K? So I worked out that if I averaged 20 wpm (I type over 50) for all the time I set aside (I too am not working just now), I would make it. Today I've written well over 6K words, and might make it to my 8K target. I never had any idea I could do this. Not so much a feeling of achievement as astonishment.
I hope such a feeling will come over you at some point too - surely you deserve it, even if the technology is conspiring against you.
As for what next... I wouldn't call what I have debris, but it's certainly badly written and disorganised, and is going to need absolutely loads (months? years?) of editing before it is even slightly worth showing to anyone. It's meant to serve a purpose and it just doesn't right now. However, I have written some stuff, and I couldn't have reorganised and edited it if I hadn't written it first. I don't think I expected words of genius from myself, having never written such words before, but I'm pleased that somehow I have generated enough material to make about half a book (100K would be normal for what I'm doing). So it feels like I've got myself up onto the first step of a long staircase, which is a good deal better than still being at the bottom, or not even at the bottom yet.
Good luck with your continued writing and editing, as well as with that disability claim - I hope it all goes brilliantly in the end, and that you feel a sense of achievement for your persistence as well as the outcome!
I am seeing PURPLE! :-)
JK,
Thanks for your wonderful message!
I waited until today to reply . . . and guess what: I can see my PURPLE BAR today! :-)
It is so silly but seeing it and the word WINNER put a smile on my face!
It helped me to feel like a winner.
I am a winner . . . with or without that purple bar. NaNowrimo has change me as a writer.
I join you in having a feeling of astonishment at the change in my writing. Not that I am writing better. I am not doing that yet. I am writing faster and I am having fun writing. I wasn't really having fun or enjoying writing before NaNowrimo because I had a horrible, nagging, interfering internal editor who was never satisfied with anything that I wrote.
During NaNowrimo, I ignored her! Now I am able to witer without her interference . . . for the most part . . . and it is much more fun. My NaNowrimo project is a bunch of debris but things are changing for me now. I wrote another article this morning. Was it well written? Probably not. Does it need revision? After NaNowrimo is over.
I believe that participating in NaNo this month has moved me along the path to my goals as a writer.
I am a member of Writing.Com and I want to be a successful freelance writer.
That link will take you to the blog in which I am recording my steps in that direction . . . slowly . . . very slowly.
Slow but steady wins the race, eh?
Looking forward to seeing that PURPLE BAR under your name tomorrow!
Write On!
~ ~ ~ ruwth ~ ~ ~