Dear Author

syikana — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 18:27:14 -0400

Characters not happy? Now they can write to you as well. Dear Syikana, Seriously you're going to put me through hell aren't you? I'm not even techincally your MC. I'm a SMC. Your MC's best friend remember? She should be going through hell not me. No love. Owen.

Re: Dear Author

LadyJaneway — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 20:08:14 -0400

Dear LadyJaneway, My middle name is DELTA CENTER? Seriously? Seriously? You are aware that this is a novel set in the 21st century and not some 1950s sci-fi magazine piece, right? Yours (but only through copywrite law and not through any sort of love), Metis "Delta Center" O'Limpea

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AlainaintheSky — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 20:53:06 -0400

Dear Alaina, Please start actually planning what may or may not happen to us soon. It seems all up-in-the-air. We get that you're a last minute planner, but , really? C'mon! November's almost here. -All Your Characters

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CadaeicCicada — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 01:32:55 -0400

Dear Author - You hate me, don't you. You keep killing people I care about! STOP IT! You're ruining my life. I REALLY don't like you. -Kyria

Re: Dear Author

Arlequin — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 01:39:17 -0400

Dear author, Won't you please stop getting distracted by your flashy little sods and pay attention to those of us who actually deserve to have our stories told? Thank you. Sincerely yours, The Hon. James S. Wyndham

Re: Dear Author

Lapica — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 02:41:37 -0400

Em, Because honestly I refuse to call you mum (you are ten different types of clinically insane), but that's not the point - the point is, you have to stop. High school will be fine if you just STOP YOUR MEDDLING. I AM NOT GAY. not yours in the least, Jay.

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aidenandorinforever — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 05:51:13 -0400

Dear Gwynn, I hate you. Why me? Why do I have to be the one that everyone hates. Why am I the bastard son of the Duke and the evil sorceress? My life sucks. And my jerk of a cousin/brother isn't making things any better. You know what I found today? A man thong. Aiden's man thong. I think I'm going to kill myself. Oh but wait! I could just kill Aiden and then I'll be next in line for the thrown...BUT NO. You won't let me! Because there's a "sensitive side" to me and deep down I "care" about Aiden. Pfft. Who are you kidding woman? I hate you, Orin

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J.E.Blackworth — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 06:25:01 -0400

Dear Author, you're a dick and one night I will douse you in gasoline, let's see how you like that. Kisses from a now lipless firedancer, Lorenz.

Re: Dear Author

turntechswaghead — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 06:37:55 -0400

Dear Jade, Really, now? I try to save the planet and what do I get? A leg blown up and paralyzed in the other! Go to hell. -Screw you, Vay

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Haselnuth — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 08:04:13 -0400

Dear Haselnuth, I know you have a thing for that superhero. I understand that. But it's only 13 days left. Could you please leave that guy alone on focus on me? I am the MC. I should have a personality. I should... hello, I am standing right here.. Oy! Ugh, I give up. But don't say I didn't warn you. Jack

Re: Dear Author

tatu_luver — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 09:48:27 -0400

dear tatu_luver please please please stop procrastinating from writing our character profiles!!!!! WE NEED PERSONALITIES NOW!!! forget about the tv and your facebook and focus on us no love your characters

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TheGildedFox — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 10:36:59 -0400

Dear GildedFox, Who do you think YOU are? You really think that you have what it takes to write about me? You think that a naive piano teacher from Kansas is going to be able to capture my genius on the written page? Come on, even Gary Oldman couldn't do me justice and he's the greatest actor that ever lived. Yours Reluctantly, Ludwig van Beethoven P.S. You're very lucky that I'm interested in this Sophia character or else I wouldn't have anything to do with this debacle. Now...I'm not seeing any sex scenes in this outline of yours and it has me a bit concerned... *** Dear GF, Stop giving all my good scenes and lines to that silly female protagonist that you've made up. She's not even real...I was actually there! And stop staring at my glass eye. In good faith, Ferdinand Ries **** Dear GF, Just because you had trouble playing my oboe concerto in high school does NOT give you permission to portray me as a pompous @$$ in your so-called novel. Nevermind the trouble between me and Ludwig, that is none of your business. Perhaps if you had spent more time practicing your oboe concertos instead of sitting around daydreaming about Beethoven we wouldn't be in this whole mess in the first place. Not Entirely Yours, Joseph Haydn *** Dear GF, First off, I'm flattered by the fact the fact that you've decided to create m and bless me with talents and wit and I'm even more excited about the idea of meeting the great Ludwig van Beethoven. But I've got some issues. Some of these things you've got me doing seem a little out of character for a woman in Napoleonic Era Vienna. But I'm intrigued, so I'm giving you the benefit of doubt, but don't get me wrong. I'm not at all comfortable with the situation you've put me in and I'm going to fight you every step of the way. You've got me giving up a comfortable lifestyle with a reasonable man in order to follow my passions and ambitions on some sort of risky adventure with a tortured and temperamental genius. I'm not so sure that I'm okay with all of this just yet. What do you think this is, Jane Eyre? Trusting you won't mess this all up Sophia Reynard (a.k.a. Fredrik Rheinhart) *** Dear GF, Do you hate me or something? I do everything to treat your female lead with the respect and love that she deserves. I offer her stability and unconditional love. And what do you go and do? Make her fall in love with my best friend. Nice. Insufferably Jilted, Lorenz von Breuning P.S. Look, I know that in real life I died of Typhus at 26, but can't you take some artistic liberties with that or something? Please? I'll be a good, well behaved character, I promise.

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Mellow Orange — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 10:39:55 -0400

Dear Mel, Kazm here! Just wanted to say...why are you wasting time on this NaNo thing? Write my story!! NOW!!! I'm getting sick of wandering around in such an old airship. And I'm getting hungry! Do you realize how hard it is to find a good chef these days? Where di Reuben go, anyway? I want my chef back!!! T_T And why aren't I in that new story you're doing? You're writing about the guy who killed my sister!! Why?! How come he's the main character?! Me: *interrupting* He is not the MC. He is the slightly insane love interest. Kazm: *shoving me out of his letter* Then the MC is even more insane, for falling in love with him! Anyway, write my story!! Now!!! I'm bo-ored!!!!! with love, Kazm. ~ Dear Miss Creator, How do you do? My name is Laurence. I suppose you knew that already, but you seem to be forgetting, lately. Anyway, best of luck writing Sparrow's story this coming month. sincerely, Laurence 'Luck'. ~ Dear Ms. Mel, Hi!! It's me, Cole!! I just wanted to check in and make sure you haven't forgotten about me!! cause it's really cold down here, and I really need to go find Ki soon...poor Ki, she must be so scared...A-anyway. Thank you for putting up with me for so many chapters, and please don't forget to write the rest of them!! (And thanks for making Part 2 from my POV! I'm really having fun with that!!). Love, Cole.

Re: Dear Author

Elementalpixie — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 10:57:20 -0400

Dear Author, Listen, I've got an idea. Instead of writing something new, why don't you just rewrite the first book instead and miss out the bit where we go to the Club and Kit meets Brian? Not that I've got anything against Brian of course, he's pretty cool (don't tell him I said that). Actually he's pretty hot too (where on earth did that come from? Definitely don't tell him I said that). Anyway as you know I've had a thing for Kit since, well like forever so if you could like sort of change history I'd be eternally grateful. Not I'm not totally in love with Lex of course, but Kit's just well, you now, I don't have to tell you what he's like. Anyway I guess you won't so if you could just mention my dark grey eyes and nice cheekbones from time to time I'd be pretty happy with that. Hugs, Francis Cahill X Dear Francis, You guessed correctly. And did anyone ever tell you that you talk too much? Ang X

Re: Dear Author

sunnan — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 11:13:28 -0400

Dear author, yeah, I get it you are acting slightly insane when you see me, your MC, in front of your eyes, and those eyes glaze over and all you can do is drool in a damn cup and go all ga-ga, but I *CAN'T* run through the entire story shirtless. You put me in an African war zone, fercrisssake! I refuse running around shirtless 99 per cent of the story! You choose if you want to create another MC that will co-operate with you, or not. I shouldn't be writing letters to you, Lake - - - - - Dear author, am I a coward or am I a brave one? Please choose a goddamned direction for me. Stop drooling over Lake, and start thinking about me as well. I'm starting to lose faith in you. very puzzled, your -currently- nameless FMC

Re: Dear Author

Leonin — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 11:40:34 -0400

Dear Leonin, You realize that I am a parallel to GOD! That is right, I am God. You are my creation. Thus everything I disagree with won't happen in your novel because I don't want it to. Wait... You are going to write it anyway? Leonin, you realize you have created a paradox, don't you? With Eternal Love, First Father

Re: Dear Author

Ophelia Ann — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 19:46:38 -0400

Dear Ophelia Ann, What the hell? So not only do you stuff me in a world of misery, you steal my name too? Seriously, what is WRONG with you? Sincerely, Ophelia-Ann ------ Dear OA, Who are you? What are you? And how can you make me dance like a marionette? Wait...don't answer that. You might make me do things. However, I swear to Buddha, if you make me bang someone during this here Zombie Apocalypse (won't let that happen, mind you), I will gut you. Remember? Survivalist. I know things that WILL make you bleed. From Your Friendly ZA Survivor, Camille

Re: Dear Author

Halo2 — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 20:04:18 -0400

Dear Halo Are you going to find me a name? I'm getting a little tired of being known as MC2. And 'I think it's going to start with P' isn't going to be enough once we get to the first of November. And whilst we're at it, where are all the other characters? Get a grip, please Yours, MC2

Re: Dear Author

Foxstar2000 — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 22:01:07 -0400

Dear Foxstar, Please give me a second name. I mean, really? How hard is it to find a name that fits me? Just, ask your friends or something. Do SOMETHING, please. Sincerely, Snow--- Foxstar2000, Stop giving me background. I have always been heartless and I have always been hated and looked down upon instead of that Snow---. Stop making it seem like this all stems from one little incident when we were kits. Nightflame

Re: Dear Author

thecandiedmango — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 22:14:11 -0400

Miss Mango, I don't appreciate your manipulation of your life. I was perfectly happy as a lonely, bitter scientist-bachelor. I don't need you setting me up with an intelligent, attractive woman of whom I'll never be worthy and I most certainly don't appreciate your desire to crush my soul after developing the beginnings of a legitimate emotional connection by making me a passive participant in the murder of her sister. Respectfully, Dr. N.M. O'Faolain Mango, Seriously? You killed my sister? That's not cool. And I realize that my fascination with Dr. O is a bit... excessive, but you don't have to TELL everyone about it. Final note: how the hell am I supposed to take down a corrupt organization? And which corrupt organization am I supposed to destroy? WHAT'S GOING ON HERE I still like you, Eva Mangolady, I don't want to die. Please don't make me hurt Eva. Yours, Beck

Re: Dear Author

rasei — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 23:41:45 -0400

Dear Rasei-sama This is Mariko. Please pick which story idea to go with. It is hard waiting, not knowing if it's your life going to be drag into pubic life or that kinda cute ex-Library over there. (Marcus mumbles under his breath, "Why is it I cannot get a girl friend if I'm so cute?" Kotoma whispers, "Maybe if you don't lead on with a lonely innocent girl with a kiss then hit her over the head and leaving her on the ground for the factory to pick up, you would have a girlfriend Marcus." Marcus whisper back, "You're not innocent! You pointed a gun at me and kidnap Hime." Please be quiet you two... Anyway please make your desicion soon. Also you need to go finish those English papers. They are only 500 words each... Your very old, confuse character, Mariko Dear Rasei, Please make sure that Onee-chan doesn't get into much trouble with her broom. It was hard for her to get her job at the Tea House. Also, why is my father trying to kill me? Kyou Dear Rasei Please, Please PLEASE allow me to kill Jimmy. HE IS GETTING ON MY NERVES! CAN HE STOP TALKING TO ME PLEASE! the pilot of Mecha Techno Mark 3 Jasime Story idea one: Marcus, Kotoma, Jasime Story idea two: Mariko, Kyou

Re: Dear Author

Rosefighter — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 23:51:55 -0400

Dear Author, Well Partner, I know that you live where I use to roam and all. But still what's with all the cogs and metal? Plus I never shacked up with any girl for longer than a night. Plus what the hell is it with you having her take me out of my rightful place and placing me in the future of a different time where the actual me died and I get to reinact him and visit his grave!!! Plus you are disgracing Captain Lee. He was a good man who gave me my first gun. So unless you have somehting good cooked up, not including where you found out about the names, but seriously little is known about my early life and I prefer that. -Billy the Kid Dear Author, When did my brother become a mindless cyborg?! He was perfectly fine before I died and then he becomes a mindless idiot. He then forgets about my beloved daughter and becomes a Cad of the highest order. I demand you bring me back from the dead to help my poor daughter against the men that she doesn't really understand. Also thanks for the gag that prevents me from telling her everything! No love -Maxie Dear Author, We are not speaking as I see what yhou have planned for me, the FMC. I suggest you poke Will with a stick first. -Nicola

Re: Dear Author

Knight — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 23:59:38 -0400

Dear Knight, Do you enjoy my pain? Yours, ALL OF YOUR CHARACTERS EVER

Re: Dear Author

TewiInaba — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 00:04:25 -0400

Dear Authoress... Let it be known that I need a personality and a solid backstory as soon as possible. I can't be the dashing love interest without one, now can I? Waiting impatiently, Kieran. To that girl, Get my backstory straightened out and smooth out those plotholes or else I will show up in your sleep and devour you in an eldritch way that will never leave you, thereby sending you crying to the closest person while I laugh at your pitiful suffering. Taking tips from Hazama, Claos. Esteemed Authoress, If it's not too much trouble, would you please give Vioanary a backstory? I know she would like one very much, but if you can't, that's okay. She's been complaining about it a lot, though, which is why I'm asking you. Again, if you can't, that's fine... Um, also, do I, um, have to be tortured graphically? And finally, I think sister is right. Please smooth out our backstory, please. Love, Altantsetseg.

Re: Dear Author

Elfdragon12 — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 03:11:07 -0400

Dear Elf, It might be a good idea to come up with some of my backstory, right? You know, since I'm the main character and--oh, right, I should be telling you, huh? Well... Moving on. You do know that, with that book cover you're planning, you're just begging to get tentacle porn fanart, right? And most of them will have me as the star of it and that's just creeping me out. Do I really have to go with Oiserdi to see those things that drive people insane with fear? And speaking of that guy... I'm glad that we get to come to an understanding and all that, but are you really going to couple us off? That's kind of weird. Granted, better than those creepy tentacles, but I dunno. You've seen how his smile almost literally goes from ear to friggin' long ear. It's weird. At least you won't use some sort of lame cop-out about him kissing me to give me magic or something... Right?! A little worried for her safety, Marilyn ----- Dear Person who calls herself my creator, I'd really like to go back to unlimited touching of Marilyn. Her reactions have been fun and I really like touching her. Nice and soft. Though this romance thing that supposed to come out of it sounds pretty nice. Also, you can have little tidbits of the things I've done in the past, but don't bother with a comprehensive life story. Even if you had all the time in the world, it wouldn't be enough for you to get it all done. Oiserdi ----- Elf, There is no way I'm dealin' with a rat. I know you said cats are too cliche, but just to let you know, I'm allergic to them. Yeah, didn' know that before, did ya? That rabbit idea of yours ain't bad (oh yeah, I know you hate that word, I just don't care). Mind comin' up with my backstory before you get too busy writing how weird that one guy is, hun? And my major is music. Just go find somebody who listens to different music than you do and find out what is good before you try to get preachy about 'good music'. And while I do listen to pop music, I think we can both agree the trashy, little, white girls are no good. People with actual talent, I'll listen to them. Work of drawing my hair too. Yours Truly, Deonne P.S. I play flute, tenor and alto saxophone, piano, and basson. Who cares about low brass? (Oh yes, I did!)

Re: Dear Author

Umbellifera — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 05:52:49 -0400

Dear Umbellifera, Firstly, I think you have a stupid name. But at least it's not as bad as my name. Why'd you do that to me? You honestly think that's funny? Also, so far as I can see, your plot can be summarised as 'authoress systematically ruins my life'. You're evil. And if my life is going to be so awful from now on, will you please decide soon whether or not you are going to kill me, and please make it some time soon. Yours sincerely (gah!) Scholastica Tomyris Nagy. PS. At least you can make me less ugly, right? PPS. I will conspire with your Inner Editor, and with the Forums, to make your life miserable in November. I will. PPPS. But my personality means I am no good at conspiring. You're evil. Very evil.

Re: Dear Author

Fishwall — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 06:01:56 -0400

Dear Fishwall, Go soak your head. Love, Your still nonexistent characters.

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ObiKimono — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 06:39:43 -0400

@thewriter: No. --Charlene

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Halo2 — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 07:04:08 -0400

Dear Halo The other MC is a girl? Seriously? How long have you known this? I just hope to god that it's staying platonic. Not that I don't trust you - actually, ignore that. I definitely don't trust you now. I can see that this is not going to turn out well... Ren

Re: Dear Author

Mischief Managed. — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 07:22:24 -0400

Dearest Mischief Managed, Please don't make me the good cop the WHOLE way through. I understand the whole contrast between characters thing, but can't a girl have a little fun? Let me...I don't know, shoot somebody or something! Oh, and this plot idea so far makes it seem as if I'll never get a rest. Us characters DO have rights, you know. And brains. We aren't 100% stupid. - Allison.

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PlasticSmoothie — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 08:50:49 -0400

Dear Plastic, Who do you think you are to try and decide what I think of certain people? Lots of love from Sara, Danielle, Toby, David, Jessica, Sophia, Matthew and May.

Re: Dear Author

azrel — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 09:47:36 -0400

Dear Azrel, I hate you. Do you enjoy my suffering? It was bad enough watching our village and parents die of plague... but now you want to kill off Markus, my twin brother. In a very painful manner-while I /watch/. Also? Get that damned king AWAY from me. I don't want to be his whore. I just want my twin undamaged and not dead (OR a zombie. Those are gross.). OH. Also? Plz to be turning off the UST between me and Conor. He's the king's son and I want nothing to do with that family. No love at all, Illiam

Re: Dear Author

stellameimei96 — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 10:06:45 -0400

Aloha, Stella: Eh, all dat trouble makin' me look like Jason Momoa, and den you tell me I'm not da love interest fo Veronica from da PI? Plus you not like write dialogue for me in Pidgin cuz you t'ink is gonna make us both look stupid? Ho, tita, at leas' you make me former US Army intelligence so I can move my house Ewa Beach side, no have to deal with braddahs in Waianae givin' me stink-eye fo working wit dat lolo high-makamaka Haole family up at Black Point. Hoo-ah, Kalani Aloha, Stella: You don't have to make me look like Nathan Fillion if I'm not going to be the love interest either. Seriously. Regards, Linus

Re: Dear Author

emberwing — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 10:20:39 -0400

Dear Author I wish to inform you in the most monotone voice that I am rather annoyed. I do not sound annoyed for I cannot since I can feel no emotion. But that is okay. What is not okay is going back and forth between my story and the other one. Make a choice. I've been left hanging lng enough. It's becasue I'm dead, isn't it? -Jasmine, child ghost of number 12 Welkings Street

Re: Dear Author

ichigoneko — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 14:21:36 -0400

Dear Ichigoneko, Steel-toed boots are so very last year. Can't we figure something else out for me, you know, with a little style? I'm not exactely ground crew for these missions you know. Think of at lease one alternate type of footwear. Thanks, Renata

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Blueocean — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 15:12:54 -0400

Dear Blueocean, OK, so I know I'm not the main character, but what is this with you wanting to call me Nicolai? It's close, but that's not my name. It's Nico. Just Nico. Read the name tag. N-I-C-O. Nico. Please get this right before you sit down to write me into the story. Thanks. Nico.

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xandert — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 15:24:16 -0400

Dearest Xandert, You've made a complete mess of my well-ordered, lovely life, and you best fix it! Otherwise, you'll be given a stark reminder as to why my nickname is "Terror." Tara

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deneco4 — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 15:25:27 -0400

Dear God, thank you for making me just like you.

Re: Dear Author

AustinKW — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 15:32:49 -0400

Dear Austin, I know that this is my story (well our story) but is it really that important to have this level of darkness? This is a small down, no shakeups and everyone knows everyone, to be honest I am scared. I don't know what to do and my family is in danger. What do I do? Rose Cross (Don't worry Rose, I'll guide you) ___________________________ Dear Ms. Austin, This is Rhys, hello. I am new to this profession and now I've got all of this pressure to do a nearly impossible job. She was abducted by a very scary underground cult? Seriously lady, I'm sorry ma'am that was rude, but this is one heck of a starting case! And Rose, we grew up together, I don't want to let her down. Don't let me let her down. Rhys Whitlowe (You're stronger than you think) _____________________ Dearest Author, Why don't you just let them give up, they can't stop us, we are ordained by a higher power in this venture. To disobey what we are setting into motion will only mean destruction for all of those involved. I really wish them well and Elise, well, I have quite a soft spot for this one. Don't they know that she will be honoured as this sacrifice and her son will be a god on earth. Forgive them for they know not what they do. Alexander Hunte, Second Circle (They will try until they can breathe no more) _____________________________ Dear keeper of my soul, Please don't let me die! I didn't know! They are so frightening below, all of the girls call it hell. It must be Hell because there is no darker place than where I sit. I am doomed. I feel it, there is no sense in pleading. If I must die author, save my son, you must save my son. I am only fifteen but my love for him exceeds my love for me. If I am to die, it is my only request that you save him. Elise Cross (The cards have been drawn, we can only play the hand we are dealt)

Re: Dear Author

AliceUnrequited — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 16:15:35 -0400

Dear Gabriel, Why did you spend so much time with us, only to relegate us to menial background characters if we're used at all? It's not our fault you can't do anything right. Sincerely, Eulalia, Seth and Heinrich

Re: Dear Author

Zahra — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 16:26:05 -0400

Dear Zahra, it's only late October and we already see in your outline all the crappy things that are going to happen to us this November. It's so not cool! (And yes, we've been snooping around for details, thanks for finally writing an outline!) We don't want to break each others hearts, we've known each other for ages! So if you'd be so nice to change the plot? Otherwise we'll be very cranky this November ... "Love", Julia and Benjamin

Re: Dear Author

KonataIzumi1 — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 16:58:45 -0400

Dear Author, Go die in a hole. I'm getting beat up by a bunch of jock meatheads because you decided to make me homosexual. I got nothing against them but not getting beat up everyday would be nice. Screw You, Jace Dear Author, Why did Jace get to write first? I'm your MC so shouldn't I? You put me in a group consisting of: A scene queen A Steampunk chick A pair of twin anarchists A punk rocker A skater punk and a gay kid who's obsessed with tea an Visual Kei AND I'M NORMAL! HOW DOES THIS WORK? HECK, I WANT TO BE THE ANTAGONIST FROM NOW ON! AT LEAST SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO GET DOUSED IN SPIKED PUNCH AT DANCES! I seriously hate you right now, Alicia Dear Author, If you don't have Alicia give us back our flamethrower, we will eat your first born child after roasting it under our lightbulb. (Don't question whether or not it's possible because you know that we can make it happen)] Sincerely awaiting the return of our entire gun arsenal, Drean and Drake Jesterson (A.K.A The Anarchy Twins)

Re: Dear Author

Lisa.Vail — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 17:06:14 -0400

Dear Lisa So, this story is just going to be a really big guilt trip? You're going to make me, my friends, and my parents go through a ton of overly-emotional rubbish? Not to mention, the end is TOTALLY predictable. At least make my life interesting! Um. Please. Oh, and, uh, give me a name please. It's 13 days left till NaNo starts and you haven't created so much as my name. Son of Lord whose name I have yet to decide

Re: Dear Author

Nathan Free — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 19:38:55 -0400

Dear Nathan, Hey—hey, yeah—we have storylines too. God pay attention to us, Emmett and Annie

Re: Dear Author

your biggest fan — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 21:58:18 -0400

Dear (not my) biggest fan, *singing* It's my story and I will talk if I want to, talk if I want to... And I'm not talking *sticks out tonuge* And you can't make me. (laughs hysterically) November is going to be so much fun since your whole plots revolves around me and my backstory. :) That is if I actually had a backstory. Oh yea I don't have one because you haven't given me one, because I won't tell you anything about me! *dancing around the room and singing* It's my story and I will talk if I want to, talk if I want to....... Love, Piper .

Re: Dear Author

Rezicca — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 23:24:29 -0400

Rezicca, I don't think you understand that you have a problem. First, I was suicidal. Alright, makes sense, I guess. Next, you made me gay. I don't really know what to say about that, but you're lucky it was Seito and not anyone else. Now, I'm a capo. At 31. A capo. Okay, I get it. My father is dead. I'm the underboss. Sure, sure. Now, you have plans to kill me? Uh uh. Not happening. I don't love you, at all. I wish you'd leave me alone. ~Vincent. /-/-/-/-/-/ Rezicca, Why did you kill my family? You just.. you're a monster, you know. First, you kill my family. The yakuza is now after me. The. Yakuza. You stuck Vincent in the mafia, and now you want to kill him. You want to kill everyone I've ever loved. You are a monster. ~Mazaki Seito

Re: Dear Author

epguinn — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 23:50:51 -0400

Dear epguinn, Okay, you did alright the firsrt time around. I ended up corrupting a noble young hero and got a bunch of money out of the deal. However, is it asking too much for some competent henchmen? I mean, I'm losing track of how many walls Mr. L. has blown up and Mr. K. needs to grow a spine. Other than that, I heard you were considering putting in some romance in this sequel. Pleeeaaassseee tell me you were joking. And if you weren't, please tell me it will happen when I'm not in the scene. (I know I'm your MC, but I was absent half of the first chapter in the first book, so there can be scenes without me.) And by the way, if you think you can write me anyway you want, guess again. I've proven already that I can think for my self. (Whose idea was it to light the soccer field on fire? Oh, that's right, MINE!) Yours, but only because without you I wouldn't exist, Ashley Cole (aka Brimstone) P.S. Would you mind killing off Reginald? I can I be the one to bring about his end?

Re: Dear Author

Masked Maiden — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 00:11:01 -0400

Dear Masked Maiden, You are evil and you must be destroyed. No love, Hitori

Re: Dear Author

finchgeam — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 06:48:01 -0400

Dear Adrian(me), Why? Why do you keep working on your villains so much? You know there is more to the world than evil! I think that you must have some over obsession with Lovecraftian Fiction. I get it the guy was a good writer, but seriously, if I'm not battling a giant alien god, I'm most likely in some weird paranormal romance plot. That's another thing, Why the hell do you write so much paranormal romance. What are you trying to prove? That you are better than Stephanie Meyer? Is that it? Leave your hatred for that book out of your writing and also give me something to work with. You expect normal people to be able to defeat an entire pantheon of evil gods? It doesn't work like that... Also what is up with your heroes moral values? They go all over the place, you make it seem like the evil gods are better than the main characters. Seriously, I remember you wrote something were a guy had an affair with his 14-16 year old maid, got divorced and went to jail and you seriously expected us to believe he was the good guy. We were supposed to sympathize with him. You know that is not what the book Lolita was about, stop trying to rewrite Lolita in fantasy settings it doesn't work. Another thing is you overuse of characters that you like, INVENT NEW CHARACTERS god dammit, don't just write sequel after sequel with the exact same plot and characters. Yours (sadly). Zaumu

Re: Dear Author

finchgeam — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 06:57:11 -0400

Dear Adrian, Don't listen to her, she's just jealous because you haven't paid attention to her in years. I actually like my existence here. I mean I am the freaking god of everything, which is pretty cool. One thing I do wonder though, why do you insist on having me in female form, even though I'm technically male? I get that you have a, whatchamacallit.... gender-bender fetish, especially when it comes to literature, but I would like to be in a male body at least once, please. Except for that you are basically doing a good job. I have really very little complaints beyond the above, I love the fact that I'm this wise god, who knows like a lot. I also love your design of me and the other gods, especially mine, I mean I love the Odin mixed with Loki mixed with Skadi kind of look and personality you gave me. Love it Yours, Skaadlok

Re: Dear Author

IntoTheLiquidSky — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 11:41:22 -0400

Dear Nikolai; I understand that these things happened because of Mikkel's twisted influence - but... did you have to put such a gaudy mask over her? I can no longer see her smile (not that she ever smiles anymore...), she looks like a statue and I worry the weight is making her uncomfortable. She is lethargic. Wasting away. This is unacceptable and I do not condone this sort of treatment. I returned here to set things straight - not to have the only thing I love turn into a sack of... nothingness. Also, Sofija says that she would like a newer wheelchair. And that she hopes you burn in an unpleasant place for the mask. Sincerely, Dr Emil Christensen Dear Lady, Could you pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease give this job to someone else? I came here to hang out with my friends and check out some local sights. Not to play Hero for a bunch of people who stole my phone and my passport, killed Charity and set our hotel on fire. And I sure as holy hellion did not agree to taken down Big Bad Momma! I just want to go home to my crappy IT job and my parents and Wing Wednesday at the pub! Pleeeeeeeeeeeease don't make me do this! I hate you forever and ever, Shiloh DeAR [illegible text], wHY MuST i WEAr This mask [illegible] YOU kNOw I cANNoT HuRT yoU i i I WILL not huRt YOu ha Ha hAA HA HAh ha BURNBURNBURNBURNBURNBURNBURN SooOfiJA

Re: Dear Author

MissAngelAdorer — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 12:46:36 -0400

They hate me by now so let's see what they have to say. Dear Author, Why do I have to stop whining? It's first person—that's the point! And we're the same age; you whine too, you know. What was that argument with your mother this morning? Eloise. Dear author, I'm her father, so why don't I get a bigger role. And neither does my wife; that's not fair! Write us in more or find some new parents for our daughter. Mr. Malcom (and Mrs. Malcolm) Dear author, I'm a sweet but fiery girl who loves to laugh and sing. Sound familiar? I'm basically Eloise's friend who is a younger version of your sister. Get that? Now write it down! Scarlett

Re: Dear Author

GreaseLightning — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 13:26:39 -0400

Dear Author, Seriously? Why am *I* the crazy one!? I'm the narrator! Stanley's the killer! Why isn't he crazy!? -Colm Dear Colm, I am. You're just crazy too. Sherlock. -Stanley Dear Author, Did you HAVE to kill me? Really, I get why you did it, but was it necessary? -Your Victim, Layla Dear Author, Really? 3 abortions? Am I that much of a slut? -Cherry Dear Author, Stop portraying me as the needy wife! My daughter died and my husband's crazy, I think I deserve some slack! -Marguerite

Re: Dear Author

Doal — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 14:16:23 -0400

Dear Doal, You keep saying how you have two FMCs this year, but you never spend time askinng me about myself! You're always prattling on about Ines and her surroundings- what about me? I'm just as valid as a character...in fact I should be easier to write. You don't have to research 1936 Spain in order to properly develop me! Also, I'm not so sure I want to die. You keep threatening me, but perhaps in time I'll reroute your bloodlust. You'll have to wait and see what I think come November! Haha, sucker. ~Sophia

Re: Dear Author

Kerantli — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 14:35:36 -0400

Dear Kera We are your MUSES! We have been with you since you started writing! So why are you relegating us into background characters for when life gets tough for Sam? Please use us for something more than that. Make us save the world, rescue someone, anything other than own the local sex shop! Please! Yours Grey and Cleo. --- Kera I'm only a recent addition to your (rather active) imagination, but really now, I have been gay in three of your stories, bi in one, and part of a triad in a fourth. I think it is high time that I was straight. I know you have a very pretty brunette in another story, why can't you pair me up with her? Sure she is part tiger, but I do like a bit of a challenge. Please? Nick --- OI YOU, WRITER GIVE ME SPOTLIGHT! i know I'm a jerk. ok, i'm a huge jerk. but i shouldn't be left behind! gimmi a chance to make some more trouble than what you have planned. Nathan

Re: Dear Author

Archipelagos — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 15:59:01 -0400

Dear Maggot, I deserve better than this. I deserve better than you. Sincerely, The Celebrant.

Re: Dear Author

glynes — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 16:05:40 -0400

Dear glynes, I have to say this every year: These are SO not my people!! Please try to write in someone I can like this time. Thank you, The Recurring Curmudgeon

Re: Dear Author

callmeIndigo — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 20:30:44 -0400

Dear Indigo, Thank you so very much for adding another hundred years to my miserable existence as a sentient sword. But that I could return the favour. Sincerely, Cole

Re: Dear Author

miss.little.me — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 21:16:28 -0400

Dear Person That Really Needs To Die, I was perfectly ******* happy, until you made both my sister and I get kidnapped!! And look you've made me swear, all 22 years of refinement down the drain, when you decided to meddle. Sure Lina is happy. but thats because she likes beating the **** out of people, and she can actually handle being interigated. I really hope you can get us out of this dungeon. Oh! Yes, what the **** is with those mangy mutts. I know they are our ticket out of that place, but really!!! WERE-WOLVES!!!!!!!!! They are not my idea of proper company. Sincerely, Lissa (The sensible one) Hello lady, Yeah, I know that Lissa has probably already gotten to you about all of this and all, but I'll still throw my two cents in. GIVE ME MORE CARNAGE!!!!!!! You switch to Lissa's point of view the second I let myself loose. You can't see or hear anything of what I do, it's all left up to the imagination. Oh! wait, that was on purpose wasn't it. haha well you can, umm... ignore my little rant up there. Anyway, on to more important things, like that sexy were-wolf. Did you know that his brother is a half-ling? That is just not suposed to happen, but your the author so you know all of this already. So, these wolves help us escape, how do they do that? Well, bye till November, then you will never get me out of your head and all of your dreams will be of what happens to flit across my mind!!!!!! get ready for absolutly no sleep. -Lina (the crazy, scary, scycotic one) Dear characters, Please as your creator, DON'T LET HER (lina) NEAR ME, I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!! Sincerely, your creator

Re: Dear Author

ryder631 — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 22:25:19 -0400

Jack, Couldn't you make me something better (urp) than a drunk novelist turned vigilante? (throws up vigorously into flowerpot) eh, you're just gonna kill me off at the end like all your other MCs aren't you? Aren't you?! Be seeing you soon, Johnny

Re: Dear Author

tokatoes — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 01:10:40 -0400

I know you're in AP classes have piles of homework every night and almost never get to see your boyfriend anymore since he went to college but you do realize I have yet to be put on paper and as of now am wandering around in you're brain right? I mean c'ome get with it woman what's you're problem? Oh and can you stop changing my name a gazillion times PLZ its really confusing. Oh and I wanted to ask you to make sure that you write Zane in with at lest one flaw or how am I supposed to fall for some other guy. And did you really have too make me think like a kid I mean all I want is to blend in not stick out. What is your obsession with me being well liked? The confused Ashly...... no wait Rebeca?......... No No No I remember it's Anastasia now right? You SUCK!!!!!!!!!

Re: Dear Author

guardian-hope — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 03:45:20 -0400

Dear G-H, We are minor characters that you expect to be major. Seriously, stop stressing, we'll take care of those kids you forgot about. We'll take them all home and teach the boys to fight in a kilt and the girls how to kick butt in the most serious of manner. Also, Rune and Robin are not girls' names, stop stressing. You have enough to worry about. We can take care of ourselves. Merry Meet, 'The Twins'

Re: Dear Author

Rubyfruit — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 03:49:56 -0400

Dear Rubyfruit, Could you please, pretty please, come back to my story arc? I know you're having fun with this new story, but you haven't touched mine since last November and it was just getting to the fun part. I love my new role as the one who betrays her former friends to the antagonist, so please come back around to it. Thank you, Staci. P.S., [em]Anastasia[/em]? I realize that you liked the movie as a child, but I would not appreciate that name being my "real" name....

Re: Dear Author

animenut2020 — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 04:37:34 -0400

Dear Author, I have accepted the fact that you decided to make me the father of the MC. I may be the character that helped spawn this entire universe, but I'm happy to play second fiddle. Then you put me in prison. Okay I'm still involved in the plot, but I would greatly appreciate it if you would keep me alive. I know your toying with the idea of killing me in prison but you just killed my son's mother. Surely you can't put my son through losing another parent so soon. He did so well on the Mary-Sue litmus test, do you really want to mess that up? Humble and imprisoned, James aka Triton Author, I can't be evil. I know you haven't fully decided yet but I fight for truth and justice. I'm upset enough that you killed my wife. Don't make me evil. That's an order. Cease and desist, Union

Re: Dear Author

Captain Lonewolf — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 04:43:03 -0400

Dear Author, I have a bone to pick with you! How DARE you try and pair me up with some random pirate sorcerer just because you think we're a "quirky couple." Ugh! I can't even say that with a straight face and here you are adding little romance bits here and there in your outlines! This is an OUTRAGE. Pair me up with somebody else, it can be anybody! Muffler, Benjy, even that ugly sailor man that works in the ship opposite us but NOT Loone. Hating you always Axiom P.S: I burnt your letter as soon as I got it. PPS: I ripped up that silly signed photograph of you too.

Re: Dear Author

FantasyGirl14 — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 05:47:39 -0400

Dear Author What are you trying to do to me!? You killed off my mother, you don't even know who my biological father is, your having my adopted mother try to kill my adopted dad and my best friend, and I find out she got my mom murdered by her boyfriend, who I hate!?! What the fu**! And let me tel you, if you had kept Cain being dead, I would have snapped your little neck. I know I'm an awesome badass and everything, but there's only so much I can take! Love, Logan Bayard. Dear Author So... I died... And then I came back... And no I'm engaged... What!? When did this happen!? I die!? And now I find out Logan's getting kidnapped in the next book!? All because of a dare!? Your lucky I'm more mature then Logan. Love, Cain. Dear Author Well, you did flesh me out a bit, but where's my back story!? I run away from an arranged marriage? What is that!? No I want something better! Love, Marco. Dear Author I die!? You kill me!? How could you do this to me!? I order you to bring me back to life right now!! Love, Jestelle.

Re: Dear Author

Ria Lize — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 06:34:06 -0400

Dear Author, Where are the 'friends' you promised to introduce to me? Also, give me a name already. Love, your unnamed, lonely MC. :(

Re: Dear Author

Hermit Witch — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 07:14:43 -0400

Dear Hermit Will you please stop calling me Crow. I'm a raven, a RAVEN I tell you. And stop encouraging that bloody cat. Its bad enough the fluff ball even has to be there without you making him my nemesis. And how come he has a name? We're both familiars so how come he gets to be Sage whilst I'm plain old Crow (and its RAVEN). I've got my beady eye on you and if you don't want your eyes pecked out you'll listen up because i'm not telling you again, I'm not a crow. I'm a Raven. Yours Crow *I mean Raven

Re: Dear Author

TreRose — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 07:20:52 -0400

Dear Author, We're here. You just have to find us and give us homes. Love, your characters. Dear Author, Please give me a simple name. One syllable will sound best. Cheers, Male Character.

Re: Dear Author

theindefiniteone — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 07:59:47 -0400

Dear Author, Please give us our real names (that won't suck like our nicknames because you just suck like that). Please also don't make us all cheesy. Make us interesting. And don't use words like honkey-tonk. Don't. Just don't. AND FOR THE LAST TIME GIVE US OUR NAMES ALREADY. ARGH. Sincerely, Your characters, especially Sorley (I need a better name or else I won't be your villain), Her (I want my name!) and Marcus (I'm your MC. Please.)

Re: Dear Author

Rubyfruit — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 11:23:15 -0400

Dear Rubyfruit, Why am in charge of a squad of ninjas now? It's not that I hate it, I'd just like to know why I have my own team of ninjas so that I know what to do with them. --Nicole Dear Rubyfruit, "Stella" is a nice name. More importantly, it's the "real" name that you wanted. My parents can just be weird like that, or I can be named after a relative or something! I've just given you more words to explain how a fifteen-year-old got to be named Stella"! Love ya lots! Stella

Re: Dear Author

vanchidel — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 11:47:25 -0400

Dear Author, just letting you know we have decided which one of us will be told from the first person, and which one from the third. I, Marija, am the lucky one whose all sentences will include "I", while Valentina has agreed to be written from the third person. I am very happy you allowed me to be a writer in your story, although sometimes I seem suspiciously similar to you, so I hope you intend to change that. Since I expect quite a lot of suffering by your hand, I think I`m entitled to this one request. Cheers, Marija. Dear Author, SHE IS LYING!!! I did not, and DO NOT, want to be written from the third person! I am the MAIN character of this story of yours, and it is the story of MY life that makes your plot interesting, so I demand a fair trial by which you will decide to release me from hell of third person! (and please... would you ALREADY decide how I look like, what my sexual orientation is and how weird really I am... I feel quite disoriented when it comes to my identity. Ok?) Valentina.

Re: Dear Author

Blueocean — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 14:17:11 -0400

Hey, Blue, What's the deal? I've been Cayden's friend for a LONG time. I really like him a lot, but he is still in love with Kalista. I get that. Those two had something, but she's long gone. Married. Got kids and all that. Yet he can't get over her. I'm kind of OK being more like a sister-figure to him -- at least I get to be around him. But what's with this new chic you're bringing into the story? I don't like her. Something about her doesn't sit right with me. I know she saved his life and all that, and I appreciate it. But he'd better not fall in love with her. That'll make me REALLY upset. Please convince him that he's supposed to be with me. I'd appreciate it. - Anika Rastaban. (Hey, I can't make him do anything he doesn't want to. You know that. I've been trying to get you two to hook up for three books now. If he's not into you in that way, I can't change that. Sorry. -Blueocean) _________________________________________________________________________ Hey, Author. Stop messing with my life. First you take Cayden away from me and had me believe he died. I'd finally accepted that and married Tavin. And then you let me find Cayden. He was right there for an entire book and a half! I'm really not happy about this. And now Anika is trying to get at him. Make up your mind. Either let me have him, or get him out of my life. WHAT??? You're sending him 6,000 years into the future? Back to our time? Ooh you just wait. I suppose it's for the better, but really? Why not just send him there without putting me through that heartache of learning that he's still alive RIGHT AFTER my wedding to someone else. You've got a twisted sense of plot, you know that? Angrily, Kalista. (Hey. Chill. It had to happen. You'll see him again, but learn to be happy where (and when) you are. Tavin is good you you. You'll have many happy years together. I'll write those in later. Do you think it was any easier on Cayden seeing you in another man's arms? Besides, he'll be out of your life for good pretty soon. Just go with it. I'm sorry that you two can't be together. Life's rough. Deal with it. - The author)

Re: Dear Author

KaityGirl — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 14:41:22 -0400

Dear Kaity, Stop trying to make me the bad guy. I'm not saying I'm a good guy because, let's face it, you patterned me after every d-bag you ever met during college, but deep down inside you know I'm not the Big Bad. I'm redeemable. So stop being vindictive and redeem me already. Corbin PS - If Wren gets magic then I should get some too, seeing as how we're TWINS. Besides, you know your plot won't make it to 50000. Can you say subplot? Not that I'm going to tell you WHAT subplot you could do. You're the writer, you figure it out. ----- Dear Kaity, While I love being the one with all the witty one-liners, if you're really going to make me the MC then you're going to have to give me some depth. Also, this plot you're thinking of....I do NOTHING in it. What the heck kind of MC is that? I'm not the damsel in destress type. Stop making things happen to me and let me make things happen. Wren ----- Dear Human, I will not be staying in the warehouse the whole time. You have been warned. Neema

Re: Dear Author

Lufia_Metallium — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 17:27:14 -0400

Dear Author, I'm glad you're working out my background and all, but don't you think you should work on my present? My past life seems pretty solid to you, from what I can tell. But really, why am I an anthro major? What's my girlfriend like? Let's think about the serious things before November comes around. You don't even know my parents' names, or my brother's, for that matter. Or what kind of person I am aside from an anthro major and gay. What sort of characterization is that? It's kind of pathetic. Do something about it, and soon. Okay? Yours (literally, good grief), Mandy

Re: Dear Author

mukava — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 08:27:09 -0400

Dear Author, Please have the guts and the means not to make me a female cliché. I already feel like it. Even though you don't know my past, you could at least find out what I want in life and what I do for a profession. Don't make me a catwoman just because my actions are not fully judgeable as good or evil. I'm not a femme fatale nor a trophy girllfriend (if I somehow MUST get involved in a romance), remember that! Best hopes, 8 Dear Author, Even though I'm a conflict-seeking jerk, I'm not a complete douche. I don't turn into a nice guy overnight, either. Tom

Re: Dear Author

pheenie.marie — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 09:15:18 -0400

Dear Author, Why can't I say Authoress anymore? Since when is that sexist? Ugh. Whatever... Look, woman, its about time you yank that stick out'cha butt and just write about me. You know you want to. I'm awesome. I've been rattling around your brain (which by the way, is mad crazy, mama) for a g-damn year and its my time to shine, baby! C'mon, I know you got me listed as a side character on that stupid little list of yours, but we both know I'm gonna steal every scene I'm in and you're gonna end up writing me into all sorts of places you didn't plan on doing. So anyway, honey, let's be real, right? Stop pussyfooting around crying about which story you're gonna write this year, cuz we all know that of all the in-freaking-sane people you got running circles all up in here (and trust me, woman, they is some CUH-razy folks) I am the one you love the most. Ain't that the truth? Sincerely and some sh*t, Duke Collins P.S. Don't you dare let that Hannigan b*tch kill me off. It ain't my damn fault her cousin wanted me so bad. I mean, look at me, mama - I am one sexy mofo. I know about a woman scorned and all that, but daaaaaamn. Make her get over it. Yeah? P.P.S. Don't also let me turn into a zombie. I'd rather you just let Hannigan blow my head off. Before the plague, Thanks.

Re: Dear Author

bk42189 — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 10:54:04 -0400

Dear BK42189, This is your last chance. If you can't manage to bring it this time, then I'm just going to become one of those thousands of "coulda been great" ideas that you've had. Time to make me great. Yours truly, Geppy

Re: Dear Author

bradyac — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 11:41:57 -0400

Hey Brady Bunch You are not WELCOME and I sure hope I forget YOU after this... and...pretty please....with all kindness...give me my freakin' memory back! -Aspasia

Re: Dear Author

GreaseLightning — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 11:59:35 -0400

Dear Author, For real? You're killing me here. First you kill me, then you make my parents abusive, and then you make me sell my body. Okay, that's great and dandy. But I actually need a REASON to start selling those photos and myself, you know. I wouldn't do it just for shits and giggles. Don't ask me for help, you're the author here! You think of something! That's your job, not mine! -Layla

Re: Dear Author

dp99 — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 20:32:18 -0400

Dear Author We appreciate you've been busy. But you have seven days in which to read everything we told you last year, and then get your head around what we warned you was going to happen next. Hurry up, already! We're waiting. And if you keep us waiting too long, then we might just start becoming that little bit un-cooperative. You have been warned. Sincerely, All The Characters

Re: Dear Author

highlandgirl — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 22:44:23 -0400

Dear highlandgirl: Seriously? I thought I was a trained demon whisperer who went psychotic and killed people... Not posessed by my own work of art! Gosh, now I'm not really in the story. I'm just a body, aren't I? ARENT I? I hate you. Oh yeah, and give me a freaking name already.

Re: Dear Author

AllyCatXandi — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 01:38:03 -0400

Dear Author, I'm a little insulted by the substandard amount of research you've conducted in regards to my story. Yes, it was a spur-of-the-moment decision based on an outline from a long time ago, but that's no excuse. If you fail to edit after the month is over, I will systematically torture every other character in your head until you do so. Lots of love, Sivan

Re: Dear Author

Shahmeran — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 03:17:30 -0400

Dear Author, Ok, I know I'm a slave, but could you please decide who I belong to? Also, I'd appreciate having some other characters to interact with, you know, aside from the occasional glimpse of that pretty blonde. I'd also really like you to decide whether she's my half sister or my lover. I'll tell you right now, she is most certainly not both. I don't care what happened in that book you just finished reading. No. Just... no. And one more thing. You've given me the task of saving the world from the mage guilds... but neither you or I have ANY IDEA HOW TO ACCOMPLISH THAT TASK. Could you maybe work on that? Thanks, Leod

Re: Dear Author

Ciera_Linnert — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 05:08:49 -0400

Dear Ciera I might need a name and a purpose, sometimes soon. Random

Re: Dear Author

charleenlynette — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 10:17:08 -0400

Dear Author, We've talked it over, and we accept your deal. As long as you put in the work on each of us (and don't go skimping on the secondary characters! - we need your love too!), we'll do our best to work with what you give us, and not just turn into . . . what was the phrase you used? "Stick figure zombies" who occasionally give "inappropriately dramatic monologues"? We aren't looking forward to that any more than you are, so it's in ALL of our best interests to work together on this. You said you already have the plot ready to go. That's great! We're excited about that! But that also means you have one week to flesh us out, give us backgrounds, personalities, motivations . . . it's up to you. Otherwise you'll be stuck with emo zombies, and no one wants that. Well, maybe in a YA novel. Sincerely, Jennifer, Tori, Mitch, LaShawn, Jill, Rick, and Linda

Re: Dear Author

moonmomma — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 13:02:34 -0400

Dear MoonMomma, Jeez, here we go again. What is this, fanfic #839752 you've written about us? Obsessed a little? Why can't you leave us alone for a while, go torture the characters in some other canon. Like, whatever happened to that Rurouni Kenshin/Little House on the Prairie crossover you thought of once? Sure, you were mostly asleep at the time, but hey, I bet no one's ever written that before! And more importantly, you'd be leaving me out of your weird imagination for a while. Kindly advising you to get a life, Naru-chan

Re: Dear Author

The_Disposable_Sophronia — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 13:35:04 -0400

Dear Sophie, First; if you pat me condescendingly on the head and say "Elementary my dear Watson" one more time I will haunt your mental-space for EVER AND EVER and you will never finish another story because you'll be too distracted by me. So. Yeah. Secondly; will you shut up about that bloody box? It's not even crucial to the plot. Well, ok, it's a catalyst, sort of, but that's a minor detail. So stop going on about all the photographs and sentimental stuff my mother left me - it might make your readers go all teary-eyed, but it sure as heck doesn't have any effect whatsoever on me (aside from, you know, mild annoyance). Oh, and I refuse to fall in love with Ernie Brockett. I refuse to even get a tiny bit emotionally attached to him. And if you ever attempt to write a sequel in which he and I have kids or something, I don't care that I'm fictional - I WILL find a way to kill you. (Ugghh...I wish I hadn't brought that up. Images...) Anyway. Yeah. I think that's about it. Yours (reluctantly) Watson

Re: Dear Author

Imaginative Insanity — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 13:35:45 -0400

Dear Author, Well, I was going to write you a scintillating letter about how much I hate you for giving me a horrible life, but after talking with everyone else you've stuffed in your head over the past several years, I don't suppose my history is so bad. At least I have a family-- regardless of the fact that they're not actually mine. But honestly, can you find some creativity for once? I'm blonde. You're blonde. Half of the MC's in this place are blonde! And don't get me started on the idea that Angel looks EXACTLY like the love interest in every single one of your previous stories. There isn't a single exception there. Oh, and on the subject of my powers . . . I was genuinely thrilled to see that you weren't trying to recycle your silly bluelighter powers AGAIN until I realized that changing one's appearance is, in fact, something that the bluelighters (which take up about half of your head, by the way) can do. Giving me one of their abilities instead of all of them is not something new! Finally, people here can write other people into existence. Don't even pretend that you didn't steal that idea from Myst. It's your favorite game. Ever. Just because it's people rather than places being written, yet again, does not mean you're creative. Sincerely, Eliza P.S. Do I really have to wait until book 3 to fall in love? If you keep this strictly NaNo . . . that's 3 years. Just saying. *** *** *** *** *** Dear Author, You came up with my character from about 10 seconds of a dream. My dad is emotionally unstable, my mother is dead, and my sister is missing . . . well for the first book 2 books at least! You have to admit, when she comes back, things aren't much better for me! Tell me how in the world Eliza's life is better than mine when she's the MC? Sincerely, Tasha

Re: Dear Author

Comma-Guitar-Pirate — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 01:49:17 -0400

Dear Comma, Glenddywyll and Melia BOTH shall be mine, and will both be okay with it. Just you wait and see. You shan't know what hit you and I'm going to laugh and laugh and then do just a bit more laughing. It's bad enough that you're intending to make my son into a guinea pig for some mad alchemist in Agoria, but now you want to kill me? The most amazing character you've ever written? I think you're in over your head. I'm going to rebel so hard your head will spin around backwards. Also, if you kill me, my mangled corpse will haunt your nightmares for years to come. Hugs and Kisses <3 Ornos P.S. All right, I'll allow you to kill me as long as my death is valiant and tear-inducing and I'm remembered forever as a hero. But only under that condition. ------------------------ Dear Comma, Don't worry, I'll keep my little brother under control. He's just had a bit much of that dwarven ale is all. I promise I'll do my best to keep him out of that as well once the story starts, I don't want him stumbling through the entire thing pished off his backside any more than you. That would be just a bit inconvenient... albeit amusing. Sincerely, Carnus

Re: Dear Author

esfilce — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 03:43:16 -0400

Dear Author, We realize there is nine....no ten actually. Sorry, latest addition. Maybe even eleven if you get bored of us but please, make sure you give all of us some time, ok? We know you have your favorites, they tend to speak to you louder, get more of your time but there is more of us here waiting to have our stories told too. Thank you, All eleven (so far..) of us. P.S. Don't even THINK of a 12th, young lady. Just don't.

Re: Dear Author

Audra Dancer — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 05:34:21 -0400

Dear Author, I certainly wish you write me having enough cigarettes with me during our mission. Without them I think I won't make it through "the epic adventure thing" you've told us about. Also, I'd like to know what it is just to equip myself reasonably. - Ione Sigun Kha'Taal, who does not enjoy surprises

Re: Dear Author

AceOfHearts — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 09:38:03 -0400

Not-so-Dear Author. What is this? Do you realise that Jep and I go back years? Years! Years of being friends- just friends mind you. I don't know where this sudden, ridiculous idea came from but get rid of it immediately. I absolutely will not allow this to happen. It will only end with my shooting him and you know it. Yours unfaithfully Captain Yadria Duarte. Dear Author The Captain and... me and the.... alright. If you want, I mean you know best. Seriously though, no. What in the world are you playing at? -Jepson Burne PS. Do you realise she is a good foot taller than I am if not more? The very thought is terrifying. Not that the Captain isn't an attractive woman in her own right but... friends! We are very good friends and that is all! Hey Author! Sup? I'm all new, so I don't really know how this works, but I'd like to request sex. Please and thank you! -Panagoita Clemens <3

Re: Dear Author

cappytullm — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 09:56:21 -0400

Dear CTM, WOULD YOU HURRY UP AND WRITE ALREADY?? I'm just a character thought that's ready to be a lot more! Hurry up. November is coming here pretty soon!! Yours truly, Character Thought P.S. Plot Idea and The Stupid Title are getting pretty upset too.

Re: Dear Author

Tigers Eyes — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 10:16:12 -0400

Dear Tiggy-Author-Person GIVE UP NAMES ALREADY. -Yours Annoyed, All your characters.

Re: Dear Author

pyrooftheblackparade — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 10:20:34 -0400

Dear Author. Being able to communicate with the dead and see foggy visions of the future was okay, but now you have to make me so finely attuned to evil in the world that I spend half of my life passed out and I can't remember ANY personal details of my old life? I'm only 13! Half-love, Kyremma.

Re: Dear Author

annamoseleywrites — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:09:07 -0400

Dear Author person figure thing....(My name is Anna, you know that right?) ....I know that, now shut the hell up and let me rant! *Clears throat* Ok, dude, I totally get that the story has to start off somehow but do you have to -completely- embarrass me? I mean I'm like drunk off my ass, under age, AND then I end up seeing a dead body. Seriously? SERIOUSLY? I thought you liked me! What the-- Oy Chris you can't use that language in the forums! GET OUT OF MY LETTER SAM!! Fix this problem before November!! NO love whatsoever, Chris

Re: Dear Author

VampireAngel13 — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:29:54 -0400

Dear Bitch STOP IT ALREADY! You keep pulling me in 57 different directions and I can't take it anymore! I don't want to be the hero, I don't care about that lady and her stupid kid and if demons take over the world it might actually be more fun. All I want to do is sleep, and you keep trying to drag me out of bed and give me nightmares over and over! You suck! And what's up with David? Why is he so uptight all the freaking time! I can't stand living with him!! He needs to get laid. Hook him up with that one nosy chick (what's her name? Oh who the hell cares, it's all about me and you know it) or something. While we're on the subject of stuff, I would also appreciate not getting physically, emotionally or psychologically maimed for once, so lets make this one easy. It would be great if I could be home on the couch in time for Iron Chef. Oh and I just realized I'm supposed to get through this thing sober. SOBER?! What the hell. Send over some booze now or I'm going to find some way to crawl out of your subconscious and kick your ass. You know I will. I'd do it now but I haven't had any coffee yet and I'm too tired. Later. I promise. So there had better be alcohol in this thing. Hate your guts Alex Dear Creator Person I really like Evie, could she stick around and not die? I promise to try and make Alex do what he's supposed to, since that seems to be my main purpose in life. Thank you for letting me have a bigger part these days, and I can't wait to save the world! Love David

Re: Dear Author

collide — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:38:38 -0400

Dear Collide, Considering I'm based off of a person you know in real life, please don't kill me. I might get angry, and you don't like me when I'm angry, remember? From, Journey

Re: Dear Author

GreaseLightning — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 14:08:02 -0400

Dear Author, HA! HA! HA! I knew I would get you to crack! I win! From, your character who IS sleeping with the MC.

Re: Dear Author

Toasty Toast — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 14:52:25 -0400

Toasty, Dude. The cold shoulder. It hurts me, man. It hurts me right here. I mean, seriously. What the hell? I was part of the A-team, I was ready to kick some ass and save the remnants of humanity. And then you go an sideline me like this? What the HELL?! I've been talking with Trinity, and we're pretty ticked at you for this. I mean, I suppose compared to Blaize and Void we have it easy... I wouldn't wish their respective fates on my worst enemy. Or maybe I might, since that enemy is YOU! Anyways, you will find my application to be a main character again on the reverse of this letter. You know what you have to do. -Red

Re: Dear Author

Whip-poor-will — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 15:35:52 -0400

Dear Ms. Whip, It has come to my attention from sources that would like to stay anonymous, that you might know the whereabouts of a missing girl by the name of Patricia Storm. She was last seen by a social worker investigating claims of child abuse. Unfortunately before anything could be done to help the child, the residence she was staying at with her Aunt and Uncle burned to the ground. Patricia was the only body not discovered in the rubble leading those to believe she fled, possibly even started the fire herself. We wish only the best for the girl and hope you will do the right thing and turn her over, or at the very least give me the address of the last know place you have seen her. Sincerely, Detective Gabriel M.Rowan

Re: Dear Author

fargreencountry-swiftsunrise — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 16:37:11 -0400

Dear fargreencountry-swiftsunrise, Why yes, I did purposely decide to be born a millennium sooner than you anticipated, throwing your plots all out the window and making you weep at the hard work you did to find my previous name and the gnashing of teeth over finding a new one. You also had to find a new family for me. Nothing wrong with my old family, but I felt you were lingering too much over the Eleanor connection and not enough on my wife or the fact that you made me a shape shifter for no good reason. Morgan is much happier though. She doesn't have to go mad from loneliness... again. That is always a good thing. So, though you may be tortured, turn about is fair play. Sincerely, Randulf, previously known as Raoul

Re: Dear Author

QuiSaitRien — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 17:29:33 -0400

Dear QuiSaitRien, While I appreciate the fact that I had a very nice life up until the story starts, you promptly send it all to hell. I like my eye, I don't want to lose it. I don't want to acquire a limp. I was perfectly fine before. Also, while I appreciate the fact that you're writing a love interest for me - a sailor? Really? He didn't even graduate high school. Vaguely irritated - Prof. James Northaway. Dear QuiSaitRien, I hate you. You wrecked my boat. And the professor can go where the sun doesn't shine, I'm not going with him. By the way, why shouldn't I make a deal with Loki, again? Not yours in the least - Robert Hollow Dear QuiSaitRien, So instead of going to premed school, I'm setting up a clinic in the middle of a ruined town during a war of the gods? Gee, thanks. I'm going to have inadequacy issues, I can see it already. I hate you - Erin Dear QuiSaitRien, Who am I? -Dustin

Re: Dear Author

Jhinnua — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 18:09:54 -0400

Dear Author, I was wondering if I'm going to actually be in the story, or if you're taking this thing in another direction. I seem to have been relegated to 'background character', but you keep insisting that I'm the main. It's really confusing. Nothing is happening to me. Also, why the hell am I being shipped to a place full of the things people want to keep me away from? I don't get it. Regards, Brady --- Dear Jhin, I was just wondering if we could keep my background secret? Please don't let my mother find me. I beg you. I'm happy where I am right now... I get to help people. I have friends. I don't want that ruined. Please. Love, Grace PS. Please don't take Tyr away either. :( And have him sane. Please.

Re: Dear Author

CarsonFaircloth — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 19:20:36 -0400

Dear Carson, I have some choice words for you. First: What's up with the date May 16th? Seriously? Second: Really. I want to know where you got that date from. The "date everything goes wrong" for poor little me. Third: Why me? And what's up with the last name you gave me? Bendtsen? Are you serious? Fourth: Okay, so an underwater world of magic and myth is nice and all...but the dark bits about gods and titans about to wage a ridiculously bloody battle that has *nothing to frickin' do with me*? Too much. Fifth: While I'm at it---why does my dad have to suck so bad? Can't he be one of those cool, take-me-to-the-movies-and-then-icecream dads? Obviously *not*. Only a sadistic, psychotic, cynical bitch would make me go through the things you're going to make me go through. P.S. I'll take back my last statement if you change my last name. Or at least take the "t" out of it. Without Love, Sorra

Re: Dear Author

Jennifermwcg — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 22:33:47 -0400

Dear Jenni, Look, I understand you killing my brother. I even understand you killing my mum. So WHY did you make me go through some of the TWISTED THINGS your SICK MIND came up with! Haven't I suffered enough?! Ps. PLEASE don't make me lose my eye! D':

Re: Dear Author

Jennifermwcg — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 22:34:10 -0400

*PS With no love whatsoever, Hanna

Re: Dear Author

Katsa — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 00:09:38 -0400

Dear Katsa, Really? REALLY? I hate you. Kora Dear Katsa, Who's brilliant idea was it to have me be the bastard child of a Barjunni noble and a Durassan slave girl? Was it YOURS? I hate that. I hate Durassans but now I've got to keep the woman around because she's my mom. You make life too complicated. Alden Dear Katsa, Why did you have to think of Mariz? He can't do anything right. Hakan Dear Katsa, I hate Hakan. Kill him as soon as possible. Mariz

Re: Dear Author

King Caspian — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 00:22:54 -0400

Dearest Author, And when I say 'dearest', please know that I exaggerate. Greatly. First off, you've been ignoring me. For /months/. And now that you've decided to glance at me again (forsaking that ridiculous Pheidia creature in that inkling-of-a-detective-story-in-the-back-of-your-brain), what should you do but make my life about as nasty as the curse words you keep making me bite off the end of? I'll tell you. NOT ONLY have I somehow managed to discover this miraculous Sword of Prophecy, but NOW you've fallen for that Bread-boy who's a rip off of someone else's character, a mere baker, and are close on your way to making /him/ the MC. Really. As if Gary could keep everyone's interest like I can. Please stop trying to kill me. My side /really/ stings, and I'm constantly tired because of the strange magic stuff that's been going on...not to mention I haven't had a decent card game in /weeks/. With all due respect, I wish you would take a little more care with me (and Hilde, poor woman) when writing our story. Just a little more care. Please. I have nothing else to say to you. Finish my story, or I swear, I'll sic my dragon on you. Or Geoff. Or that bl***y minstrel Orlando. Or the princess's rotten grandmother. Yours adoringly, Theophocles

Re: Dear Author

StuartH — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 10:03:00 -0400

Stuart, I've been checking through your plot notes and am shocked to find I'm being lined up as a baddy when I started out so pleasant. Please tell me what I did to deserve this? Where did that past violence come from, as I'm sure I don't remember it? Tom Hey Stu, There must be some mistake. Really. I'm the FMC's BFF! There's no way these things can be happening to me. And what's with this whole dying thing? I think you've mixed me up with Tom. Lisa Mr H. I would like to point out that my reclusive nature and current wooly character are solely down to your inept planning to this point. Maybe if you had spent less time playing favourites with the FMC, you might have more appreciation of who I am. Flynn

Re: Dear Author

Normana — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 23:01:14 -0400

Ace, Dude, you already know how I feel about all this. You know I'm tired of all the nightmare crap, and you know how not-keen I am on going nuts, and -- whatever, all that other junk. But you're gonna do it anyway, so what's the point in complaining, right? I guess this is what I get for being into horror; I upped my chances of being chucked into a horror novel by like, a hundred and fifteen percent. I guess all I can say at this point is rock this shit. Don't get all weird about your ideas again, alright? Own the crap out of this thing. Even if I have to put up with nightmares and temporary insanity, it'll be at least, like, half worth it if everybody comes out of this thing with a real, legit first draft. So. Get it, gurl. Galen

Re: Dear Author

BlueEyesDontLie — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 00:18:36 -0400

Dear BlueEyes, I am a main character, if not the main character. Arthur and Jack are cute and are great characters, but they have no conflict. Their romance goes great. I have a love interest who has tried to kill me! So get to fixing that outline! Sunshine

Re: Dear Author

hannah.t-d — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 00:41:22 -0400

Dear author, You keep picturing me on the large size. Maybe you think the name you have given me as a place-holder is a 'fat name'. But remember! I am a starving student! I run around the city from job to job barely earning enough to make rent, let alone eat. You know I miss meals constantly. Where is the fat coming from? If it's coming from my name, then I give you permission: change my name. I do not have it in me to be a fat girl. Sincerely, Your starving character

Re: Dear Author

Kiwi977 — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 02:55:10 -0400

Dear Kiwi, For pete's sake! Please stop obssessing over your camp nanowrimo story and how you're going to edit it! I'm vying for your attention and I don't vie very often. Trust me, I'm usually just fine being by myself but right now you've planned to have me get stuck in a small town with absolutely no way our and no one I know. And please decide whether I'm a 35 year old truck driver or a college student in a U-Haul, I'm tired of jumping from role to role. At least I've got a loyal best friend (well so far anyway...). Sincerely yours, Thad

Re: Dear Author

MysteriousFlower — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 03:49:14 -0400

Dear MysteriousFlower I am going to give you hell because thats what I do to everyone else so why should you be any different? And you had better make sure that Kate... oh well... nevermind. I WANT a chance of happinessand I want this bastard of the streets! DO IT! Eve

Re: Dear Author

soccernines — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 11:14:57 -0400

Dear Author, What is up with you? You are totally messing up this book. Stop killing my friends!!! It's not fair and I miss them so much! You need me to save the world, but I can't do that when I know that half of my friends are in mortal danger!!! Now, please bring them back to life BEFORE november starts!!! No Love From, Aleana, Journie, Tobi, Tyler, and Logan. P.S. It's funny that you k now exactly who is going to die even before you started writing. Thanks for that consideration.

Re: Dear Author

TheEvilMatriarch — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 16:52:39 -0400

Dear Author, Learn how to insult people. That was not a jibe worthy of me. Sincerely, Crystal

Re: Dear Author

mikescott — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 17:16:48 -0400

dear author... Bug-pits? Really? I used to be the Mistress of all Character Hell, and in my first scene, you put me in a bug-pit? HONESTLY. Malevolently, Susan.

Re: Dear Author

Maiira — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 19:27:33 -0400

Dear Maiira, You had this great idea for our story, and now November 1st comes and all you want to write is that stupid fanfiction. Why are you so intent on that, anyway? The characters are both blatant Mary Sues and you know it. And yet here you have this wonderful, well-rounded novel idea that you haven't even started yet. Shame on you. Love always, Lydia

Re: Dear Author

kas890 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 19:37:35 -0400

Dear Kas, Glad to see you give me such an interesting start. I mean, really. All me and Kay did were run around in crowds of sweaty people and drink soda. But that aside, I'd like to say something about this whole demon-falls-in-love-with-me thing. I have a feeling he's going to kill someone I like, and that's just not nice. Not to mention that the first draft of me as a character was a 24-year-old journalist in the 1700s. Now I'm a 16-year-old modern day girl with journalist parents. What's up with that? Love forever, Rose Dear Kas, Don't kill me. Please. Kay

Re: Dear Author

purpleraya — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 19:47:17 -0400

Dear Author, WHAT?! love, Janie

Re: Dear Author

Terpischore — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 19:47:49 -0400

Dear Terpischore, I had a nice life. A comfortable life. I wasn't much fun or very adventurous, but at least it was safe and I was fundamentally decent, if ignorant. Now I'm some sort of cold-hearted killer acting as a double agent. What the hell? Love, Ardal

Re: Dear Author

PoisonTheCity — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 19:49:20 -0400

Dear Author, Please decide once and for all what the relationship between Larus and I is. This constant switching around is getting awkward. One minute we're all cuddly and the next - poof! - we're siblings. Sincerely, Naromi. P.S - If you're even vaguely toying with the idea of considering getting me killed later on, I'll come through that screen and show you exactly what I can do with that fancy sword you gave me.

Re: Dear Author

MarBar23 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 19:51:59 -0400

Dear Mar, You killed my brother & my maybe boyfriend. Now you sent me back in time & want me to fix this whole mess!? This is so not the roadtrip I had in mind. Lots of hate, Mel.

Re: Dear Author

WileJ — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 20:54:13 -0400

Dear J, Please consider treating my daughter Eliza and her madcap mission with the utmost respect. Her heart is not something to simply be tossed about like a boat at sea. And do ensure she has a happy ending, preferably with a certain barrister she's been highly attached to since a young age. Furthermore, killing one of her prospective husbands in a gruesome fashion is much frowned upon and may result in several characters running rampant. Also, if you could cut down on my being bullied by my sister-in-law, Lydia Harper, such action would not only be appreciated but much rewarded by my becoming a better man. Sincerely, Lord Bertrand MacGavin

Re: Dear Author

mirandakane — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 21:02:32 -0400

Dear Miranda I really do not like that you cut me out of your story all together. You may be okay with it but I am not. I really would like back in. Love, Daisy Dear Miranda My chemistry with my daughter-in-law is revenge for what you have planned for my son's marriage. Don't mess with my kids and I won't mess with your story. Cannon.

Re: Dear Author

Grey Wings — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 21:04:38 -0400

Dear Author, I know your inspiration for me came partially from a song, and I realize you think that your idea is very clever and interesting. But really--did you have to screw up my life this badly? I had a loving (though somewhat selfish) wife that I loved dearly, a beautiful castle, loyal subjects... and you took it all away! And then made it my fault (albeit indirectly). And now, over a century later, I'm still holed up in my decaying castle trying to fix everything that YOU made go wrong, and I just know that you're going to make me do horrible things that I wouldn't normally do, but as I'm now somewhat insane with grief, you think it's okay. Was and is all of that really necessary? I'm really not happy with you, Evitrus

Re: Dear Author

Silver.Quillpen — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 21:15:16 -0400

Dear Creator, Would it kill you to give my brother a thought that isn't related to the supernatural? Seriously, and could you please, please, please stop making me cut my track and field meetings? Despite what you might think, my coach is going to kill me, and then you won't have a female protagonist to work with! And really, while you're at it, can you move along? I still don't understand a thing that's going on with me, and I would like to get to the important parts of the story now. Oh - and get me some cake in the next chapter. Strawberry shortcake sounds good. Sincerely, Cora Dear Creator, Could you give me my body back already? Seriously, it's my body at stake here, and it is in the possession of what could be a madman! I mean, I don't know what the guy's doing with it! It's not that dead people and disembodied souls are bad company or anything, but I'm starting to find it awkward to talk to humans... and that's never a good sign. Also, I've noticed you smile suspiciously in my direction a couple times now. If you did anything to my body, I am going to kill you. I don't care if you're my creator. -Feine To my dearest Creator, Could you disregard that previous letter and just let me keep this form? Really, we can both see that it suits me so much better, and I definitely like this body better than what mine used to be. I'm making better use of it anyway. So, I guess I'll see you around - don't worry, I'm not expecting a reply. You know who I am.

Re: Dear Author

Aardappel-Potato — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 21:26:48 -0400

Dear A-P, Won't you give me a better name? Sincerely, Ashamed MC -- Dear A-P, I'm the best character, so why do I have to die? That is so not cool. Begrudgingly, The Hot Blonde -- Dear A-P, This isn't Beauty and the Beast... Love anyways, Still Not Taking Off The Mask -- Dear A-P, Stop writing these letters and get back to work. I want to make my entrance. Annoyed, Should Have Been The MC!!!

Re: Dear Author

StarmyStaryu — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 21:30:05 -0400

Dear Author, Look, I love fantasy as much as the next girl, but clearly you've got a rom-com young adult novel itching to burst out of your chest like an alien of pens and paper and...writerly...goodness... Okay, that got away from me. The point is, I'm totally cool with being in a kitschy little romance thing. Heck, I'm kinda stoked. Besides, you had no idea where that other plot was going. This little thing you just cooked up in five minutes? Yeah, that's got a beginning, middle and end for you to build off of. So...go with the flow, I guess. Geez, I should've had Spencer write this. He's the English nerd. Love, Sophie

Re: Dear Author

Kidrylm-writer — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 22:28:31 -0400

Dear KW, (nice originality on the name there girly) What's wrong with you?! How dare you make a fantasy world that has no way out!! Every time a characters goes from our reality into some made up la-la-land, there's always a way home! Is there anything? Portals? Potions? Time Travel? Heck I'm desperate enough to go with ruby slippers at this point. Stranded and scared I'm starting to like it, Mykal *************************************************************************** Ignorant Imbecile known as "KW", Why are YOU in charge of writing this? I'm the mastermind! My creativity orchestrates the take over of two ancient armies! My subtlety is such that no one even knows I'm the over-all villain for the first book of the trilogy!!! When you give up your play acting and actually want a GOOD novel, call me...if I haven't killed you yet. Signed, Oh wouldn't you like to know

Re: Dear Author

RaptorsAndCoffee — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 13:00:08 -0400

Dear RaptorsAndCoffee, I can't help but notice that we're nearly 6000 words in now, and you still have not mentioned one thing about my appearance. I understand that this story is mainly concentrated on my inner thoughts, my desires, and my sense of justice, and also that you have felt any in-depth description of my appearance would feel forced. However, I *would* like to come across at my best in this novel (I am an eligible young woman, as you know), and to that end, I feel that it would be good if you could at least write something about my beauty. It doesn't have to be in depth, but perhaps you could give me particularly stunning cheekbones, or mention something about the light dancing on my beautiful blonde (red? brown? black?) hair. I noticed that Elle has been described as "beautiful" already, and she didn't even exist when you started writing this story. Just a small point of improvement. Yours, Marissa Dear RaptorsAndCoffee, You should really fix my personality. As in, give me any personality. Preferably a consistent one. I know I was only put into this story because Marissa needed someone to travel with, and I know you don't care for me very much, but I think you might grow to like me more as a person if you gave me some form of attribute, anything at all. It's hard to like a blank slate, after all. Emma. PS: mentioning once that I "like rumours" is not a personality. It's filler. Dear RaptorsAndCoffee, Is Elle short for something? And am I ever going to be given a surname? -Elle

Re: Dear Author

Mouki25 — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 13:25:28 -0400

Dear Author, Stop doing dishes and laundry, and give me a name, and something to do. Right now I'm sitting in a blank room with no door. Get me out, and get me started!! bored and anxious, Character #1

Re: Dear Author

MysteriousFlower — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 13:25:38 -0400

Dear Author, did you really have to bring her into this? I was quite allright without an unexpected ex-girlfriend. no love, Eve

Re: Dear Author

Calievas — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 13:41:13 -0400

Dear Cali, Do not make me flirt with this police woman that is delivering me to the mental institution. What are people going to think of me when I show up at the place with an extra charge of sexual harassment on my profile? I better get to use a goddamn toilet when I get there because man its been half a day since I've pissed! With anger and frustration and I AM NOT AS BAD A PERSON AS YOU ARE MAKING ME TO BE, Jode. ps; where the hell did you get that name from?!

Re: Dear Author

Oraicia — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 13:49:35 -0400

Dear Oraicia, So, I thought you'd been planning on making me the ship's captain? Or leader, or whatever? That went well, didn't it? I'd like to know how I ended up as the one who sits in the background, watching situations develop and occasionally giving his two bits of knowledge. And wasn't I also going to be a girl, originally? Yeah, thanks for the gender change. I feel loved. -_- -Marshall Libby (who's a guy)

Re: Dear Author

CyberInkBlood — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 14:01:48 -0400

Dear CyberInkBlood, I want to thank you for making me so stunningly attractive that your main character can't stop fantasising about my eyelids, and I'm only a little bit concerned that she seems to be completely destructive. And I appreciate that you gave me a beautiful, kind and rich wife, but why don't I have an alibi for her murder? I really don't feel like you've given me much of a chance, isn't your main character going to descend into alcoholism or something before she ever gets to solve my case? And, you might find this a little petty, but my NAME. Sol Silvers? What, exactly, did I do before marrying my wife? Model space-age Y-fronts? Yours, Sol Silver Innocent until proven guilty.

Re: Dear Author

HatchetGirl — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 15:11:51 -0400

Dear HatchetGirl, Believe me, I don't like to whine, but you really are pushing your boundaries. I find it ridiculous that you made me homeless within six months. It's clear that it's tough to pay rent in New York, but I'm not stupid enough to forget to apply for a job to pay the rent. Also, did you have to make my first real alliance a pure idiot? Thanks a lot. Cow. Your MC, Karen Cassidy. Dear HatchetGirl, Hello! Thank you soooo much for giving me a role in your story! It's awesome to have a big role in a story, you know? No? Oh right, you're the author... Annyywaaayy! I heard what you're planning on doing to me with your plot twist. I don't like it! Cut it out! Please? I didn't do anything wrong...Did I? But other than that, I'm happy with your story! Lots of Love, Lily Spencer. Dear HatchetGirl, I know I haven't appeared in your story yet, but after hearing about what you're going to put me through, just so you know: I hate you. No, seriously, I hate you so much. I get it; I'm kind of the bad boy of the story. Why make me the character that suffers the most? Screw you. I want out. -James Reed.

Re: Dear Author

sephrenia — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 20:15:40 -0400

Dear Sephrenia, Are you a complete and total F***wit? No, really, I want to know. It's the only explanation I can come up with that would have me as a mother of two, in a hotel at a business conference and waking up to zombies. Okay, I admit the zombies are kind of cool, but that's not the point. All you've done so far is have me wander around said hotel, finding a couple of people and getting into arguments. As for giving me a provisional drivers license instead of the full one I had a minute ago, I can only ask, what are you smoking and, can I have some? Oh and this G.I Jane/Martha Stewart personality crossover isn't working for me. Sort it out, or I'll sort it for you. Yours in Irritation, Sally. ************* Dear Sephrenia, I'm 16, not 6 so why have you stuck me in a hotel with two boring old women who have absolutely no clue about what they're doing. Seriously, I think you gave them a total PMT overdose or something. Oh and, what are you actually doing about this plot thing? Yeah, you know, the bit where we actually get to do something? 'Cause from where I'm sitting, having a can of garden peas thrown at my head is not actually helping. Couldn't you have had a zombie or three walking the halls as we went downstairs? Somehow, a hotel full of people disappearing and all the zombies being magically outside is not all that believable. Dumbass. You're just full of epic fail. Deal with it, lady. Hatin' on you, Spiv ******** Dear Sephrenia, First you have me wandering around the hotel with nothing but a flower vase as protection and then you set me up with someone who could be my mother. No, really, she is. She totally tells me what to do and then I find out she lied about the drivers license? You're sick in the head. Oh and don't think I'm taking the lead down the tunnel, I'm not that daft you know. Yours, Anne **************** Dear Sephrenia, It was pretty cool that you let me be all macho and stuff, but you're making me out to be a total douche at the same time. My girlfriend is laughing at me, the others you threw me in with are absolutely barking and the one guy on the whole thing is taking orders from someone, who in my not-so-professional opinion, is a sandwich short of a picnic. Couldn't I at least have a PSP or something before I die of boredom? Cheers mate, Darren ******** Dear Sephrenia, No, just no. I wouldn't be seen dead with a guy like Darren and somehow, I'm his girlfriend? I'm telling you now, the second a zombie shows up, I'm tripping him up as I run past. I'll be glad to see the back of him. You should have had him as a member of Trailer Trash International or something. I could've had a Fraser or even a Connor, they were just to die for but nooooo, you had to put me with him. Kill him off, or I will. Yours resentfully, Sarah.

Re: Dear Author

Bleistift_B — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 05:00:08 -0500

Dear Bleistift_B, First you kill my brother off screen, then you bring him back and have me fight him?! Seriously, what in all what's unholy is WRONG with you?! And no, it doesn't matter that I just slaughtered random people, I have to beat up someone who is already beaten up enough to die and let me tell her: "go off and kill yourself, if you know what's good for you."?! But you'll do what ever you want anyway, not listening to us tortured characters in your head, when you're writing something horrible again, right? I hate you! I really, really hate you! But please give me a happy ending anyway, will you I've suffered enough, don't you think? Sincerely, Malik Sita

Re: Dear Author

VGJekyll — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 06:38:19 -0500

Dear Author, How is it to find out that we, the characters, start revealing our not so pleasant sides the further you get into the story, hm? Must be strange to find out that an old man like me has done pretty bad things in my past. Of that young Gabe is going to turn into a vengeful bastard once he learns my magic and trade. Oh, and when he has his right arm back. The kid is still pretty pissed off that you made people cut it off for a rape he didn't commit. I promise you that in the second book, he will be not only the Main Lead, but also an Evil one. Oh... and my grandson will become a cross-dresser and dominate the third book. If you ever get to writing it. You'd never expected that, didn't you? Cheers, Marius

Re: Dear Author

Eternal.Fiend — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 06:38:53 -0500

Dear Author, Urm..... why would I care about Audrey? Your other characters make an excellant point. Please, work it out before I start acting like someone completely different. Perry P.S Please stop making out to be the bad guy now. It's getting old.

Re: Dear Author

Ellen.Mirch — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 09:34:06 -0500

Ellen, Stop torturing me. Just stop it. You keep putting me through things that would kill other people and I'm honestly getting tired of it. Sincerely, Sasu.

Re: Dear Author

Chaos-Insanity — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 09:45:34 -0500

Writer, Please stop killing us off, only to use the divinity clause to drag us back. It's not cute, it's not subtle and it's not funny. It's mean. While we're on the topic, stop making us sleep with each other. You may think Vesapian/Daimeon and Rai/Veselko is oh so desu desu kawaii desu ne yo but we don't. Seriously, Vesapian is more likely to neuter Daimeon with a pair of rusty pliers rather than sleep with him. And he needs those genitals. Love, Your characters

Re: Dear Author

ElliMelody — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 11:59:45 -0500

Dear ElliMelody, Please, stop making me pass out. Twice in just the first chapter? Really? And a trip to the hospital after that second time? You keep doing this to me, and I keep having these visions, but nooooo, everyone just thinks I'm insane! I AM NOT! Just figure out why I'm having this visions already, because event he others are getting bored! Also, do I, or do I not, like Gideon? You've crossed out love-admitting scenes a thousand times, claiming its too early for me to admit it, and yo don't know for sure if I ever will. Make up your mind already! I don't even care anymore if he likes me back!! -Elodie Sissel P.S. Does he like me back?!?! ====== Dear EM, Stop making me follow Elli and Lotty around like a lost puppy. I am a dude. seriously, we don't do that. (and i don't care if you know a guy who does, he is a little baby anyway) Decide whether or not I like her already, and get on with it! You always say I'm around them, but I never actually do anything! Some one-on-one time with Elli would be nice. Yes? -Gideon Jasper P.S. Don't even think about that plot twist idea you came up with while writing this, about me dating Elli's twin sister for a little while. So. Not. Cool. ====== Dear EM, You make me sound quiet and boring. All I EVER do is stare at Elli and go to the bathroom(seriously, wtf on the last one...) You also forgot about me the first half of the first chapter. Then said I was in the bathroom the whole time. Gee. Thanks. -Lotty Sissel ====== Dear EM, I appreciate being so notable in the story, but I'm not always boy-obsessed. Yes, I possess a self-proclaimed notebook of cute guys with a self-assessed IQ, but all I ever do is read and bug Elli about not having a boyfriend. I thought this was about Elli's mental state, not her relationship status. I would appreciate a more friend-like position, instead of that annoying girl who always spend her time with you just to bug you about not having a relationship position. -Mackenzie Keane P.S. Decide whether or not I gain a relationship with Victor. It always seems like I'm flirting with him...his IQ is like...12. ======= Dear EM, I'm not an idiot...i may not be 'bright', but seriously? not knowing the difference between geometry and geography? That was a bit too far... -Victor P.S. Why does everyone else have a last name but me?

Re: Dear Author

NobodyFair — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 12:19:05 -0500

Megan. Look, we need to talk. Yes, you've got my character right and that is wonderful. But i will not, repeat not, be dating anyone, also, how come the butler gets to be so badass? I'm the main here. Can I haz hug? I didn't want to see that dead guy in the extreme knitting section. yours, Albert. P.s. If I am already tempted to use the shovel on you. Your spelling is god awful. Love.

Re: Dear Author

sarinn — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 12:56:39 -0500

Dear Sarinn, Is it too much to ask for *someone* to be happy? Gwen ===== Dear Creator, Because of you I throw up when my eyes are open, am borderline insane, don't call anyone by their given name, hear voices that don't make sense (even to me), am pretty sure you're going to either kill me or have me get vamped, and I just felt one of my friends die, kind of like how Obi-wan felt "thousands of voices suddenly go silent" when Alderan blew up. And do you have *any* idea how hard it is to properly accessorize when you have a purple blindfold on all the time? As soon as I make up my minds, we're going to have some words. 3 Nikki

Re: Dear Author

Lowehart — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 13:37:29 -0500

Dear Lowehart, Can I do something other than whine, complain and get scared or disgusted all the time? Also, a surname wouldn't go amiss. Love, Kate

Re: Dear Author

TwilightSparkle — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 15:14:17 -0500

Dear Twilight Sparkle, I want to see. Is that so much to ask for?! Sincerely, Houston. ~ Dear TwilightSparkle, Tell Cyrus to stay away from my man. She actually LISTENS to you! Frustratedly, Raven. ~ Dear TwilightSparkle, Yeah. Um... I'm good, actually. Yours, Foghorn. ~ Dear TwilightSparkle, So first I get to hook up with Raven... and now Cyrus is here? Did I do something really good or really bad to deserve two hot chicks who'd shoot me if I stepped out of line? Confused, Goodwin. ~ Dear TwilightSparkle, WHY THE CRAP AM I PREGNANT?!? YOU COULDN'T HAVE WRITTEN A CONDOM INTO THAT FLASHBACK?! Angrily Yours, Cyrus.

Re: Dear Author

5kybound — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 15:23:53 -0500

Dear 5kybound, Please make me the protagonist, instead of that douchebag. He's a moron, and I don't see how he will become as great as I somehow seem to think he will. And what's with my name? Please find a replacement name. Pleaaase? Oh, and do me a favour, write in some nice girls. Please? This is like sausage city... Be safe, Serron

Re: Dear Author

ilookedinthebox — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 15:35:34 -0500

Dear Alex, I truly appreciate the fact that you have been thinking about me for the last several weeks, hell on the surface my life seems pretty chill. Why am I not happy then? And why can't I REMEMBER anything? Where do you get off making people seem crazy? I.... I mean... am I crazy? Confused, Georgia Dear Person, Do you know what a ' Con-Dole-antes' is? cause September still hasn't told me. Sorry! Gotta go! Grammie mad mac and cheese! luv, Georgia, age 8 Dear Puppet master Look, I don't want to tell her what it means. She forgets anyway though...right? So I never have to tell her what a condolence is...right? +September P.S. I wouldn't mind if there was just a little tension between us when she grows up. ya'know for variety. Dear Alexandria, It has come to my attention that you have put me in a very tight spot with my grandaughter. I will have you know that I do not appreciate this one bit, and if I had it my way I would never have to tell you. Now, go take a shower and find pants without holes in them. If you must write about me I would at least like to be written by someone who is somewhat respectable. Oh, I almost forgot, take that crap out of your face you aren't a pin cushion. Sincerely, Elsinore Mocher.

Re: Dear Author

MiaarXxX — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 16:40:59 -0500

Dear MiaarXxX I thought you wanted people to like me? I thought you just wanted me to seem badass and maybe just ever-so-slightly bitchy? So why am I trying to convince Nathan to kill someone when I don't even have a reason? Love from (haha, yeah right) Lilith

Re: Dear Author

fictionalboyfriend — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 17:33:27 -0500

To The Strange Woman Who Refers To Herself As My "Author": I was less than delighted to make your acquaintance, especially given your predilection to make predictions about my future and imply that you have total control over it. Imagine, then, my shock and abject horror when all of your predictions came to pass. Including the one regarding Miss Eleanora. I may never sleep again. So, given that you do, indeed, seem to hold some measure of power over the events currently unfolding in my life, I have a few questions for you concerning the abovementioned events. Why has Charlie usurped my role as the rebellious daughter? When am I going to have a chance to escape Mother's endless rounds of parties and dinners and balls and visits and teas? When am I going to attempt to write an article and present it to the staff of the Examiner? That is, after all, the whole reason why I agreed to come to London in the beginning. Also, might you convince Mother to relax her schedule enough for me to be able to correspond with Veronica? She is, after all, my best friend, and she will be married in - in less than two months! And if you have your way, I will be unable to attend the wedding because I will be trapped in the London Season. Oh, my feelings are not good enough reason for you to allow our correspondence? Very well, then, but I invite you to also consider this: you told me that my correspondence with Veronica is a vital plot point. You are at least a quarter of the way through my story and you have yet to include it. I suggest you get cracking. Sincerely, Alexandrina Katherine Lydia Henry (Miss)

Re: Dear Author

GreenSweatshirtGal — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 18:46:54 -0500

Dear GreenSweatshirtBitch, Listen, I'm grateful you let me punch Douchey McDoucheface in the face, but come on. I was ready for a fight scene; I was ready for some hardcore laser fist action! And what do you do? You interrupt everything and put in a fluffy friendship exposition/introduction scene instead! And then what do you do after that? You write a letter in the other topic complaining about how I didn't use my laser fists on him! Fuck the police, Brossard Lewelyo ~ Dear GreenSweatshirtGal, I need more blankets. Love, Ceceliese Ninon

Re: Dear Author

nanoJuu — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 19:00:11 -0500

Dear Juu, I don't understand why you're making everyone surrounding me crazy. Why is it that everyone who says they love me ends up hurting me? Real life doesn't work that way, does it? And if it does, is it going to get better? Brielle

Re: Dear Author

writeandknow — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 19:36:20 -0500

Dear Elizabeth, Surprise! I'm not from India. I'm from somewhere else! Good luck figuring out where! Johanna Dear Elizabeth, It took you three days to figure out my sexuality. Two days to figure out my religion. And now you're going to stick me working in a room with her? I didn't sign up to be a kidnap victim. I'm an FBI agent - I'm supposed to be a hero! Colby

Re: Dear Author

Emz_Sophie — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 19:47:00 -0500

Dear Emz_Sophie, Since you're the one who's writing this, could you make it a bit more cheerful. And WHY IN THE WORLD did you have my father force 6 year old me to kill a kitten? You have a cat for God's sake! You shouldn't be trusted anywhere near animals after what you wrote. And by the way, I'm not gay. So stop giving me a squeaky voice and a fear of people. Couldn't I be more masculine? I found someone I hate as much as my father: the person who created him. Levi Dear Emz_Sophie, Since when am I crazy? Have you not seen my brother. He can't even figure out how to freaking add! But I'm the mental patient? And really? You named my brother after a curse word. Unoriginal. Kaylee Dear Emz_Sophie, Please do me a favor and stop messing with my love life. Every time you do, you kill them. Is it so much to ask for a living girlfriend? Sam

Re: Dear Author

tsukkuyomi_kokuryuu — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 01:03:55 -0500

Dear Tsukkuyomi, You named me after you and you're making me not only deal with a murder but look for my twin brother. My SICKLY twin brother. My SICKLY twin brother who might be dead. I hate you SO much right now. Love, Tsukkuyomi Kokuryuu Dear Tsukkuyomi, I'm not a manipulative bastard. Love, Seimei Katsuragi Dear Tsukkuyomi, Please stop scaring me with the storm. It's not funny. And please don't make me look at the dead body either. That'd not funny at all. Love, Kiyoshi Minoru Dear Tsukkuyomi, Fucking bitch. Stay where you are because you're dead. NOT love, Kazuya Saito

Re: Dear Author

LightlessRain — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 01:13:47 -0500

Dear LightlessRain, Thanks for making my life miserable, you jerk. Sincerely, Scherzo Dear LightlessRain Where am I??? WHERE AM I?? I'm like the life of the novel! I demand a grand entrance right now! Echo Dear LightlessRain Don't listen to Echo. He's not even a main character! Instead, give more spotlight to me! Saya <3 P.S. Also, how dare you make Sebastian the main antagonist! I thought it was supposed to me, or at least Lyle??? :( Dear LightlessRain, Please use the other characters. I'm overworked enough already. Hima

Re: Dear Author

littlewisp — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 01:37:29 -0500

Dear littlewisp, You were going to make me into a badass with real motivations and a wealth of feelings beyond 'grumpy' and 'amused.' How's that coming along? Oh yeah, it isn't. If you write in one more argument that's a retread without any progression of my badassery with the MC -- who, by the way, I am way cooler than -- I am walking. I hate you. Rax ;_;

Re: Dear Author

Desert.Moon — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 03:30:08 -0500

Dear Desert.Moon, I am kind. Truly, I am. Please. Just stop telling everyone I'm manipulative and cruel. I'm a good person. And you were supposed to rescue me. Desperately, Merle

Re: Dear Author

Timpeni — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 03:48:07 -0500

Dear Timpeni, Mon amie, must you make my little sister one of the antagonists? And what do you mean Allison is going to fall in love with that unromantic and graceless Dane Søren? He is not a good fit for her! She needs someone that can take care of her! Even Aaron is a better choice! Please... I really do care for Allison. She is mon amo-... never mind. Please, don't make her meet up with that Italian, Giuseppe! He's a mafiosi, and he's going to hurt her! And another thing: How can she fall in love with HIM? She'll be heartbroken once Giuseppe dies or leaves her... Just... don't hurt her much, okay? Crying, Léon Labelle

Re: Dear Author

Nyn — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 04:19:47 -0500

Dear Nyn, I thought this story was about me. Can we please cut short the snogging (or skip it altogether) until I'm the one who's doing it? Thanks. Impatiently yours, Kieran Nyn, Dearest, Thanks for all the snogging opportunities! Much obliged, indeed. Kennith P.S.: Neacal says to shut up, but he's just being shy. Dear Nyn, Why on earth did you damn me to this perpetual embarrassment? Le long-suffering sigh. Regards, Neacal P.S.: Uhm, please don't take that to mean that I'd appreciate you killing him off. P.P.S.: Seriously, please don't. P.P.P.S.: Please? P.P.P.P.S.: Ken just said I'm cute... Please feel free to kill him off whenever you see fit...

Re: Dear Author

Egress — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 04:31:28 -0500

Dear Author, Please stop making everyone act weird around me. I didn't do anything. - Aeval Author, I demand an explanation for why the hell did a psychopath with gardening shears went after me. Still waiting, Akihito

Re: Dear Author

rainbowdiva1 — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 20:30:10 -0500

wat the hell are you thinking destroying a opperfectly nice fairytale an putting me though all this i hate you

Re: Dear Author

Taleigh Rae — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 20:53:47 -0500

Dear Rae, First off, that's not even your real name. Secondly, why are my parents fighting all the time? Why can't I be a happy kid with a happy family? WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST HAPPINESS!? I live in an empty marble mansion. Also, the headmistress's name is Ms. Lilac. Really? What do you have against her? And if I'm not working my butt off to get an A in EVERYTHING, I'm getting chased! I have to be bullied? Thanks. Oh, and thank you for Uncle Bruce and Victor. Can I live with Uncle Bruce for the rest of my life? Your character, Johnny Stanley Bumble. (I HATE MY LAST NAME.) Dear Taleigh Rae, I hate you sometimes. You gave me a gothic older brother. Who's beat me up and threatened me. REALLY? YOU SUCK. But yeah, thanks for Mister Bruce. My life was dang good there. But then, you shove this 12 year old into my life. I look at this kid, and I think of me. Thanks. THEN, you suck us back into Starland. You make me take an oath to save the world. You could at least let me tell Kai I like her..... Yours because you'll hurt me if I don't sign this nicely, Victor Mason. Dear Rae, WHY DO YOU TORMENT ME? You throw me into the gang. Okay, I can handle that. You give me the classic "my drunkard father beat me" backstory, okay, I can do that. But then, you give me a chance to turn good. I thank you for that. But you make being a good guy so hard! AND THEN YOU CAN'T DECIDE IF I LIVE OR NOT? WHAT THE *bleep* I. HATE. YOU. -Zane Grayson.

Re: Dear Author

Odysseygurl — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 21:25:52 -0500

Dear Odyssey I'm enjoying this happy bit of back story, I think it will make me a more complete character with a better understanding of how I handle relationships, but I'm ready to grow up now. I've been ten years old for the past 9,000 words for God's sake! How the hell can I have an epic adventure as a ten year old? It's time to cut the cord. I know you like my brother, he's a cool guy. I like him too, hell I idolize the man right now, but if I'm gonna step up and meet the big bad he's gonna have to move out of the way. I'm ready for this if you would just give me a shot! Sincerely, Daunye P.S. I'd rather he not die though, this is my brother after all. Please take that into consideration. Please...

Re: Dear Author

Eigee — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 21:50:30 -0500

Dear Eigee, This is Isador. STOP TROLLING ON ME PLEASE. Oh, and I hate my name. Thank you. I hope you lose NaNoWriMo... just because you're plain evil. Wait, no! I was just kidding! Please, PLEASE KEEP WRITING!!! I don't want to have no future!!! Please!!! I want to know what happens to me next. PS. A girlfriend would suit me just fine.... someone pretty, please :) Say yes?? Please? Preferably the girl who sat next to me on the plane, the brunette. You know who, you wrote her! :) Love, Isador Jale

Re: Dear Author

DarkCoffeeJazz — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 22:47:30 -0500

Dear DCJ, I know I'm supposed to be this awesome assassin type character, but I think it's a bit unrealistic that I can go faster than 3 guys who have had the same training as me, and kill them without using any magic whatsoever, while retaining my speed. I know I was protecting your MC, and that he's going to eventually be able to handle himself, but come on. Don't Make Me Kill You, Gareth Dear DCJ, Thanks for not letting me die in the first few pages. But do I really need to be saved all the time? I mean, sure, I get that like, one awesome scene where I save everyone through a fit of ingenuity/deja vu, but then I passed out, making the other two characters save me yet again. And where did those three assassins come from? I mean, it's like you were told to just add ninjas, or something. You really shouldn't do that for no reason. Your MC, Jace Killian.

Re: Dear Author

stuckonaleaf3310 — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 13:44:38 -0500

Dear Ladybug, You make me sick. Do you realize I am in year fourteen of my life AND I DON"T HAVE A BOYFRIEND YET?!?!?! I have a three boy best friends named Teddy, Val, and someone who's name i can't remember right now cuz HE ONLY TALKS LIKE ONCE and then you pair up Teddy with Halle and leave me with VAL!!! AND I"VE ONLY KNOWN HIM FOR LIKE A DAY!!! Don't even get me started on stalker Sean Sherwood. With SERIOUS CONSTERNATON IN CAPITALS, Nicky Caden

Re: Dear Author

Star-Gidget-chan — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 13:57:18 -0500

Dear Gid, PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!!!!!!! Mark.

Re: Dear Author

Patron1121 — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 14:02:07 -0500

Dear Author, Who the f*** is that creepy girl that keeps starin' at us? -Kerzse Dear Author, Please give me a name. It's quite irritating not having a name. -Random girl who keeps staring at the two aliens in disguise.

Re: Dear Author

nome_de_plume — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 14:03:32 -0500

Dear NDP, You do realize that you spelled your handle wrong, right? Oh, what's that? The correct way was taken? Mhm. Likely story. Do you know me AT ALL? Really. Falling in love with a 17 year old? It's already bad enough I'm sleeping with her. That could stick my ass in prison for the rest of my life. Oh yeah, I see the way a spark just went off in your head. Don't. You. Dare. If you send me to prison, so help me God, I'll break that fourth wall and destroy you. Vlad. NDP, Thank you for giving me a twin sister so that you could take her away. No, really, I totally appreciate it. And thanks for forgetting half the time that I'm supposed to be in school. I get that it's not integral to the plot, but it's integral to myself as a teenager. Pleas figure out what you're doing. Lola.

Re: Dear Author

Star-Gidget-chan — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 14:07:52 -0500

Dear Gid, Can you please stop making me look like I really care what Julieta says? I mean, I know I'm going to end up stuck with her at the end, but can we make this slowler? I mean, I really really hate her. All yours, Carlos.

Re: Dear Author

stuckonaleaf3310 — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 14:11:56 -0500

Dear Ladybug, I don't understand. You make me sick. I am in the middle of my fourteenth year of life and you do THIS to me? Yeha, sure, I have to find my special someone, but WHO THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE? First you give me killer good lucks, which makes me undure whistles and cat calls on teh bus everyday my older rbother Isaac isn't their to shush them. Then you make me be all nice and force my popularity meter down to negative twenty. Then yousurround me wiht boys and take them away one by one WITH SLOW TORTURE. All I have left now is Val! mY best Friend! Who, i might add i HAVE ONLY KNOWN FOR A DAY! Don't get me started on stalker Sean Sherwood. Gah, Nicky Caden

Re: Dear Author

stuckonaleaf3310 — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 19:10:45 -0500

IM sorry i keep doign this. I can't help it

Re: Dear Author

Mellybeans0919 — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 19:16:57 -0500

Dear Mellybeans, We have been waiting all day to see where we are going to fly. You have abandoned us. Please figure out soon what is going to happen to us. Thanks. -Characters

Re: Dear Author

stuckonaleaf3310 — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 19:19:54 -0500

Dear Author, I am sorry I gorgeous and rich and all. I can't help it, you made me like that. Could you do me a favor and tell me who the heck is in my locket? I've been wondering for like fourteen years now. Any hints? And please, send Romain and Keilani off somewhere. They may be my twin little brother and sister but they ARE DRIVING ME NUTS. Love, Rhiannon PS-I seem to have a stalker. His name is Sean. You couldn't get rid of him for me, could you? Dear Author-who-is-not-mine, I am now sorry you made me so, as you say it, handsome? Do you know how weird I look? In Resea everyone has blue, black, purple, or blond hair. But NOOOOOOO. You have to give me black-blond streaked hair. YOU COULDN'T HAVE MADE UP YOUR MIND OR SOMETHING? And NO ONE is Resea has black brown eyes like mine, Missy. What is up with that? Cordially, Aedan, Prince of Resea PS-This girl keeps showing up in my dreams...like every year since I turned two...mind telling me who she is? PPS-And please, help me before Mother and Father pair me of with Calista. She is as evil as a snake pit, I don't care if she's the only princess eligible. Unless you made the missing kingdom of Amoral, which used to be closer. Until you KILLED EVERYONE OFF I mean.

Re: Dear Author

MusingCoyote — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 19:30:00 -0500

Coyote, WHAT. THE. HELL?! A /muzzle/? /really/? and do you have to keep separating us? you /know/ that we've both got abandonment issues out the butt. you'd better wrap this up with a happy ending soon. with all due respect (which is none.) Aden and Jeric Esahc, If you could see it in your heart to plot out a satisfactory conclusion some time in the next century, I would very much like to see my familiar again. I'll try and keep Aden's temper under control Stop listening to sad musicals while writing our story, Espin

Re: Dear Author

Labyrinth Rose — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 20:10:56 -0500

Dear Casey, No, no, really, Sian and I could work as a couple! I know how the story ends, and it cold work! Look!! *le shows Author an image of the end* See? It's perfect! Oh please oh please I like her so mmuch... -- December. Dear Casey, WHY did I have such a horrible childhood?? A CLOWN?! REALLY?? Come on, I thought you loved me! I know it all contributes to making me me, but please! Refrain from including even MORE torture! -- Clara.

Re: Dear Author

Emelyasunny — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 21:22:51 -0500

Em, Thanks for deleting the character of my boyfriend, killing off both my brothers, then saying "Psych! One's actually alive!", making my twin betray me, and failing to kill of my twin's boyfriend (He was so sick he should have died!) . Are you trying to make me miserable for the rest of my life? -Dalis

Re: Dear Author

Senna25 — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 23:34:10 -0500

Dear Author, Why did you make me stab a dog in the eye? There are other ways of getting rid of giant dogs, alright? But why the eye??!! Sincerely yours, Nathan (Len) Dear Author, Why are you adding more love interests even though I already got enough? Seriously, I already chose. And also, lay off Aiden, okay? Just because he's being non-supportive doesn't mean you should just kill him off... Love, Liz

Re: Dear Author

Livinlife — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 23:35:19 -0500

Dear Life, Seriously? You just killed off ALL of my friends and family, and now you want to make me insane as well? GIVE ME A BREAK. Sincerely, -Kate

Re: Dear Author

Jet Black So Cool — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 00:41:28 -0500

Dear Jet, thank you very much for turning me gay. Seriously, is that all you can do to me? Plus, my name. SYNTH. You, my friend, have a knack for naming your characters badly. And why do I have orange hair? Sincerely not yours, Synth X.

Re: Dear Author

HollyAnneH — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 06:35:13 -0500

Dear Holly, I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH LEO! He is my best friend and I don't have feelings for him like that so stop trying to make up have romantic moments every 500 words. Yours, Emma Overman

Re: Dear Author

Cainz — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 07:13:41 -0500

Dear Cainz Why did you have to kill all my friends and my mother? And why do even have to be the main character, I don't want to! I want normal life, without traumatic past, weird haircolor or poor family! And now - now I see those weird guys all the time, I don't know what is real and what's not and Mercury is acting strangely, and taking that stupid girl with us. Thank you sooo much. Sincerely, Walter

Re: Dear Author

Katsaurs — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 07:27:23 -0500

Dear Katsaurs, Please stop letting my friends break into my house to check I'm ok, especially at odd hours in the morning. My sister has been on her honeymoon for barely 15 hours and I'm certain I'm independant enough to take care of myself. I have a damned military background for Etro's sake. Seriously, stop it. Regards, Lightning P.S: Your Author name is stupid.

Re: Dear Author

Kristina Michelle — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 09:20:15 -0500

Dear Author, I know what your game is. It won't work. We will not be silenced. Viva La Resistance! -Tarrow Dear Author, I don't like people. That includes you. -Josiah Dear Author, I still love you. <3 ~Calloway

Re: Dear Author

apocalypticangel47 — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 11:22:10 -0500

Dear Apocalypticangel, The first draft had some bad text, so I get why you wrote me into this story, but I'm not as feisty as I was. I cursed out enough people to start a blood war in the first one, and now my worst line is "Go to hell" ? Did you lose your spark? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy this one is going to be longer than the first and make me sound less like a child, but I want some zing to my words. Minor characters are getting better insults than I am! Think of me when you can make it back from your paper break. I really need the attention! Sincerely, Cameron Long, MC

Re: Dear Author

talia_sparkle — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 11:27:10 -0500

Dear Talia, Why do I have to be a psycho? I was leading such a happy little life until you came along. Now I have to want to kill people? Seriously?? What happened to you as a child to make you so messed up? You'd better give me a happy ending. Harriet

Re: Dear Author

wordlover1613 — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 12:20:20 -0500

Dear Abbie, I thought I was going to be killing some zombies not living through some crappy high school life. Seriously, add some action now, this if terrible, I don't like Asher, the twins are creepy, and why the hell do all my friends want to kill me and not the man eating zombies? Valarie Kate Sollers

Re: Dear Author

Betty Blue — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 13:08:45 -0500

Dear Betty You want me to leave my ship? Remember, it was you who got me stucked in here! You planted this robot in my head, you gave me a bitchy ship and you made Pan leave. I never wanted to fall in love, but when I did you had to destroy everything! You better give me Pan back or I´ll stay drunk as Bukowski right here where I am. Romin Dear Betty I know we don´t know each other. Til now I don´t even have a name. But please, please let me join your story! I´ll be serving Pan her meal right now and then I´ll talk to her, and you must let us become friends! Please! Subcharacter without name Dear Betty Let me go around and kill people! My, you made me leave Romin, and now I´m having some fun in chasing after bad guys. Stop complaining about this, you cunt, and stop complaining about my language! I don´t vare if I´m a fucking princess, I want some fun and right now I´m having fun. Wouldn´t you like to end the story now while I´m happy? I don´t want to go back to Romin. He´s boring. Pan

Re: Dear Author

mutewitness — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 13:33:13 -0500

Dear Mutewitness, Thank you for throwing in a prologue that will now set back whatever I'm supposed to be doing. I believe I'm stuck at the Professor's house of all places. Can you please take a break and at least finish this scene, and get me out of this place! Sincerely, Louisa B. Hewitson.

Re: Dear Author

Betty Blue — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:13:46 -0500

Dear Betty How nice of you to shoot off my hand. Yeah, great. I see it in your eyes - you´ll make me suffer much more. Thanks for putting this hate in my heart. Honestly, why do I have to chase after Pan now? Did I have a terrible childhood? What´s wrong with me? Why am I a maniac? Hell, take me out of this story, I don´t even want to be there. or at least give me a good reason for tracking Pan down! Jef

Re: Dear Author

Writing_Ninja — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:18:59 -0500

Dear Author, You're bad at writing characters. Seriously. That action made me look like a girl. I will never EVER say "let me grab my bag." My man card was stolen. Thanks, Malik

Re: Dear Author

Abenstern — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:39:06 -0500

Dear Alice, I know its kind of annoying that I want to be pregnant with Reno's baby and that its giving you a hard time, but I can't help it. I just really love him and want to have a family with him. Please let me have the kid, even if its post story! I don't want him to leave me and I'm afraid that if I don't give him some kind of attachment then he will leave me. Love, Shin

Re: Dear Author

RosemaryJayne — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 12:22:57 -0500

Dear RosemaryJayne, We were perfectly ready to get married and settle down at 12k words, so what do you do? You throw us apart for 6 months, and make Ellie pregnant. Seriously? By the way, where the hell did the bloody cat come from?! Yours Sincerely, Lucas and Ellie P.S. No more gunfights please.

Re: Dear Author

wordlover1613 — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 15:22:01 -0500

Dear Abbie What happened to bad ass twins? We are just the biggest weirdos ever. And why does Caleb have a boyfriend but I don't. We do everything together, if he's dating someone than either I have a different girlfriend or we're both dating the same girl. Also, what the hell is with the mind reading, we can't read minds and yet we somehow know what everyone is thinking, how the hell are you going to explain that one? Love, Caleb and Cole

Re: Dear Author

Creative — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 15:43:54 -0500

Dear Creative, You. Are. Not. Creative. At. All. Where am I going, what am I doing and why do I keep having stupid conversations with my 'best' friend, and we seem like we hate each other, what's up with that? And you sure as hell ain't igniting the earth to make it an alternative hell for me, just...no, please don't, I don't appreciate it. Also, I worry too much, you know how annoying that is? -Elizabeth P.S - Get a grip, and write the dang story without igniting the earth. Dear Creative, I need a name. And...I know it's part of the plan, but is it absolutely needed that I die? I mean c'mon, choose someone else! - Nameless Brother of Elizabeth

Re: Dear Author

Iago Grey — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 15:59:28 -0500

Dear Iago Grey, We would like to question several points. For starters, why is that we are perpetually facing the wrong direction? We have been made to turn around more times than is necessary. Why must everything happen suddenly, and not take its time? And can we find no other way to express exasperation than by sighing? Also, Nicholas would like to know why he has to be miserable for the majority of the novel. He, like Alf, is not pleased by what you are about to write, at all. Rhys, Alf and Nick.

Re: Dear Author

kay.mindless — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 16:14:18 -0500

Dear Kay, If you make either of us fall down that hole, we're both going on strike then you are really screwed. So stop thinking about it and how. We are willing to go down the hole with a rope, but that is all. There will be no accidents with the rope and there will be nothing that happens to trap us down there. The only thing that will happen is we will safely climb down, we will explore, and we will safely climb up. Those are our conditions and they are non-negotiable. - John and Sarah P.S. No rocks will hit us in the head on the way down either.

Re: Dear Author

suaru_chan — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 02:06:36 -0500

Dear suaru_chan, Listen, I'm really glad to have this story being re-done. You've given it more detail, did a plot outline and even went so far as to make multiple 'Plan B's, just in case we hit a roadblock or twenty. So yeah, thanks for that. I just have, well, several questions and several things that need to be said: 1) WTF!? The novel opens with my mom having died. Seriously? I mean, no 'how-do-you-do, nice-to-meet-you'? Just 'oh, by the way; DEATH OF YOUR MOTHER!'. Do you really dislike me that much? Don't even give me that 'emotional experience of my own lends you better emotional quality and depth.' We both sobbed through the entire chapter. It was awful and I was a wreck for days afterwards. I still hate you. 2) The family drama that goes on. I mean, isn't that a little much? You took grandma and pushed her ass off the deep end. I've seen 'crazy' with more sense than you've given that woman. Can you possibly make her more stable, please? But just so you know, I love my grandpa. He's awesome. Thanks. 3) I love my little sister and my dad. Leave them the hell alone. I will cut you. 4) Shadow-man = No! Do. Not. Want. For freakin' serious; he gives me the heebie-jeebies! Can't you be like a normal author and give me a bad guy that isn't part of the spiritual realm and can't, you know, kill people with a freaking touch by basically raping and tearing their aura apart.... HE KILLED MY MOM!? What the heck!? Why?! She goes from dying of a natural cause to having been murdered and it takes me THAT long to find out? Screw you. Hate you even more now. 5) I. HATE. YOU. Did you not hear me? I said to leave my little sister and dad alone. I didn't exactly say to leave my grandparents alone, but still... Killing my father and grandparents in one go? Really? Thaaaaanks. My sister and I will be just fine, never mind the emotional scaring. Oh and the whole thing with me getting to walk in and find my father's mutilated body? I will have nightmares for the rest of my life. You are evil. I didn't realize that asking for a normal bad guy meant you would be killing more of my family. You are like a crack-pot genie. 'Make a wish and it will come true, just all kinds of messed up'. I hate you even more now. ...I give up. I can't even list anything else because I'm afraid that you'll get a moment of inspiration and the world will explode or something almost as drastic. You need to be on medication and a leash. Just do me a favor and make sure that we - my sis and I - have a little bit of happy mixed in with all your evil and what not, will you? Oh and romance. I'd like to have some of that before you go and screw me over again. Not nearly enough love, Seraphina Cathal P.S. I'm a WHAT? You can't just pick a species/race and stick with it? You really have to dabble and mix me up like I'm a freakin' cocktail? FML.

Re: Dear Author

Betty Blue — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 06:36:44 -0500

Dear Betty Yeah, great. Did you really do that? You really made this maniac blow up my shuttle? Do you know how much I loved this shuttle? And thanks a lot for my burned hand. I think it´s really funny to grab a hot piece of metal and burn my hand until you finally allow me to put it down. And NO! I won´t cry or go mad about what happened to my ship. If you´re gonna make me a sobbing, mad girl I´ll go on strike. I won´t go mad, I´ll be able to go on, okay? Is that so much to ask for? You´re so mad, Betty, you should let some kind of bomb explode the whole universe we´re living in. Otherwise I think all of us are going to become crazy. And, by the way, I won´t do my hair in green. I like that violett. Stop complaining. Pan

Re: Dear Author

Moisoha — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 06:42:23 -0500

This is a slightly different note than many of the others... Dear K, BAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh my goodness you have no idea how much fun it is to mess with you! you see, we have all formed an "Anti-K" group and we have no intention of listening to a word of what you have planned. I didn't even read the outline you gave me, I just tore it to bits. Sure maybe we'll let you have the goat cheese and the mini giant space hamster... and even the vampasquitoes, but actually follow you plot? You must me kidding, maybe even drugged. I have a whole different plan of what's going to go on. No, I'm not going to tell you what that is. Bainte P. S. no, I'm not going to tell you which of the main characters dies either. Fufufu...

Re: Dear Author

CypherLx — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 06:49:26 -0500

Dear Cypher, Remember when you were talking about us to your fiction writing classmate and she said, "You made Christmas scary?! You're mean!" Don't you think that should have clued you in? Seriously, if you're scaring college students with just vague descriptions of what you're actually writing, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO US? Isn't it bad enough that we've had hard lives? Then you sic the big, bad, evil on us and wonder why we're going through bouts of depression and considering suicide. What did you think would happen? Do us a favor and stick with Halloween. We want our Christmas back the way it was. May God have mercy on your soul (you psycho). And may we somehow find it in our hearts to forgive you (though that's not very likely). Sincerely (regretting being your characters), Nick and Angela

Re: Dear Author

PastExploits — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 13:23:45 -0500

Dear Exploits, Is there a reason I never use contractions? Why does my brother get to use them, in is dialogue and in his narrative. There is no fairness to the way you write at all, and, frankly, I am tired of talking like this. I can be casual! I can, really! Also, is there a reason why you hate me? You have separated me from my family. You have made me the only daughter in a loveless marriage and family. I have never known my twin brother, my mother is afraid of me, and I am starting to think I have developed- what do you call them- ah yes, 'daddy issues.' You have made me go against my morals more than once- witchcraft? Is that really what you think of me? Losing my virginity to the first man who gives me the time of day? I really hope you do not think that is in character. When December comes you will have to do a major revision. Also, if I want to shag my brother, you are going to let me. He is the only one who is nice to me around here, so please, let us be. Regards Anabella Serafina

Re: Dear Author

eowynspen — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 14:49:52 -0500

Dear EowynsPen, ...Well, this is going to be uncomfortable. -Gabe Dear EowynsPen, Gabe does WHAT and Brigid does WHAT and I do WHAT with them and... just... WHAT? WHY IS HIGH SCHOOL SO HARD??? -David EowynsPen, Really? You give David all my secrets? I mean, all the important ones? Do you have any idea HOW LONG I kept those secret? Seriously? I hate you. Go die in a hole. -Brigid Dear EowynsPen, Thanks for crippling me, bitch. -Liz Dear EowynsPen, My son is never leaving the house again. -The collective parents of Gabe and David

Re: Dear Author

meggie358 — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 15:42:51 -0500

Meg, Are you kidding me? First, I kiss Fiona, the hottest freaking girl in the whole kingdom, then it turns out that she was using me, plus she was an enchantress using her power for evil, so I'm not supposed to like her anymore? What if I do still like her (and her body)? Huh? Have you ever thought about what my freaking feelings might be? And then Piper Knight....damn it, you just had to give me her as a partner, didn't you? She is practically the most insufferable person on the entire planet, and we just kissed, not becuase we wanted to, becuase we were forced to, and I actually enjoyed it! Why do I enjoy the kiss of the girl I hate instead of the girl who would let me fondle her all day? Why am I suddenly feeling like this about Piper? Are you trying to make me go insane with filling up thoughts into my head? God, just please make sure that I don't die at the end of this idiotic journey you've put me through, I will come back to life just to make sure you die a painful death. Another thing: who the hell is Daniel Year Clerk? It would be so much eaiser just telling me and Knight who he is instead of us wandering around the whole of Amberleaf like clueless fools, wouldn't it? Just take that into account next time you bring him up, because if we find out who he is we might actually be able to crush the Shadow Stalkers. Regards, Tobias Graham Sloane P.S. Why is Knight so good at archery anyway? Why can't I have a special skill, like, I dunno, picking up hot chicks? Wait, I'm already able to do that.... Miss Meg, I'm not trying to be a bother, I just have a few questions and statements that I think should be brought to your attention. Why did you have to give me four older brothers? No offense, but I really can't stand them have the time when they try to protect me even though I perfectly capable of taking care of myself. And my father....don't even get me started on my father. You just had to let him send me off to a safe house didn't you? And I bet you loved writing about how uncomfortable I was when I found out that my safe house was going to be Tobias Sloane's house. And then, you have the nerve make him safv me like I'm so damsel in distress - which I wasn't, thank you very much. Also, why is it taking us so long to actually stop the Shadow Stalkers? And couldn't you have given Sloane a brain that is filled with things other than sarcasm, arrogance, dirty thoughts, and just random filth? It would have been much more helpful. And make him seem much less attractive....damn it, did I really just say that? Look what you're doing to me! Though I don't want to admit this, I feel like I'm falling for him, and, in case you've forgotten, you've given me someone to be in a relationship with. Remember? Riley Clarke, the prince of the kingdom of Amberleaf? And, as a concluding question, what is the reason this Daniel Year Clerk person is so interested in me? It scares me, actually, bt don't tell Sloane. I'l never hear the end of it. Sincerely yours, Piper Elizabeth Knight P.S. Is there anway you could possibly stop Sloane from calling me 'princess'? It's rather annoying, and I am so close to ripping every strand of that dirty blonde hair off his head and watch him write in pain. Just saying.

Re: Dear Author

Betty Blue — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 16:15:27 -0500

Dear Betty this is an open letter to everybody. We are not satisfied with the way you´re writing. You can´t always complain about us doing never what you want us to do and then have a bored look at HIM´s facebook-page and freak completely out. And why? Because Ville Valo was elected the Hottest Dude Of whatsoever. Yeah. Congratulations. You should have turned back to us then. But no, you´re throwing in a HIM-CD although you KNOW you can´t write with your favourite band playing along. So you sit there singing like a drunk while we´re waiting for our story to develop. You really can´t do this to us! Keep your passion for finnish music away from us and push it beside when you´re working with us! And why did we start this letter the way this damn open letter to Tarja ends? Hm? Oh yes, Betty, that´s all your fault. You shouldn´t listen to HIM while writing. You know it wouldn´t work. Tomorrow you´ll be here again, lady, and your CD-player will be turned off. We don´t want to hear anything about HIM while our document is open. If you keep on rather listening to HIM than working with us, we´re gonna fuck and kill each other and end your story at 40k, and then you´re screwed! Yours, your characters from "New World" P.S.: What kind of title is that???

Re: Dear Author

izzyhindle — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 16:20:17 -0500

Dear Izzy, Why are you so mean to me? It seems like nothing good can ever happen to me. First, I get my ex pregnant, then her parents bitch at me, then my parents bitch at us, and now I'm flipping out over...LEAVES?! Ugh. -Logan Dear Izzy, YOU. MADE. ME. GET. PREGNANT?!?!?!?!?! -Michaela Dear Izzy, When will we become relevant? -Gail, Helena, and Clara

Re: Dear Author

TitleWhatTitle — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 16:29:31 -0500

Dear TitleWhatTitle, Why did you make my dad abusive? And why the hell am I so short? Please stop making me spout random statistics and facts like a good 18-year-old genius. Thank you for making me a little taller during the journey though. Now, if only I could become taller than Tazera so she might look at me in another way other than the small cute one. From, Alphonse. Dear TitleWhatTitle, Why'd ya make me 'ave such bad grammar? I may be a street kid bu' I'm not stupid. Yer say it's jus' an accent bu' it kind of annoys me and yer word document. Don' yer see all them squiggly red lines? From, Cobber. Dear TitleWhatTitle, Thanks for killing me off later in the novel. Jerk. From, Tazera. Dear TitleWhatTitle, You've made me such a posh twat. Thanks. You know I can't stand Cobber, so why put me in a barrak with him? I hate you so much right now. I do like how you didn't kill me when I got stabbed by those conveniently placed pirates, though. From, Fondricht. P.S- THINK OF A FREAKING TITLE ALREADY.

Re: Dear Author

BooKeeper — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 19:13:33 -0500

Dear Author, Um, excuse me? I see that you are making funny pictures to tell you to stop procrastinating, but... you're procrastinating. And I'd really like to be on my adventure now, so, if you could please get back to writing, that would be appreciated! Thanks! Odd (p.s. Those 47 words could have been towards your novel count.)

Re: Dear Author

The Dark Enchantment — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 09:51:31 -0500

Dear Author, Congratulations, you hit 50,000. We're not done yet. You promised us a happy ending and we are going to ensure you deliver. Or we'll just eat your brain. You pick. Now, stop stressing over things that can be changed in editing and write. Now. No, not later. Now. Sincerely, Nathan and Vi

Re: Dear Author

kay.mindless — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 10:24:01 -0500

Dear Kay, Does your fantasy world look like a classic movie? I thought not. So, stop writing me as if I'm the lead male in a black and white film. -John Dear Kay, If you don't stop bringing up that 'incident' I will show you that I do have a backbone. -Sarah

Re: Dear Author

Betty Blue — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 13:20:12 -0500

Dear Betty we HAD fun, hadn´t we? Yeah, I loved my role. I mean, okay, I was a maniac, but at this sadistic scenes I started to like it. I know I had to die. I was your villain. But it was FUN!!! But did you really have to make me kill my mother? Lia and I must be the only characters you really liked, in a way... Yours, Jef Dear Betty That was such a great time. I like the last words you gave me, and I hope you´ll rescue Chillon. He doesn´t deserve to be down there with his mad mother. I´m not mad at him for ripping off my leg. He´s used to starvation, of course he will eat anything he gets his hands on. Rescue him, will you? (No, probably not.) And please don´t let Pan die. I know it´s great for your story, but I really liked Pan... by the way, it was such fun the last scene. "The heart´s on the left side, sonny." I really enjoyed saying that. Yours, Lia BETTY! That´s not okay! You ALWAYS told me I´d survive and be happy with Romin! And now you bitch made Jef nearly kill me? ARE YOU MAD??? I hate you! I know you´ll let me die, I know you will! Go kill someone else! Pan (ANGRY) Betty, you´re such a cunt. You made me fall for Pan. You made me nearly an alcoholic. You gave me depression. You gave me this robot and my f*cking shuttle to annoy me. You made me suffer and suffer and suffer. IT´S ENOUGH NOW! I hate you forever for killing Pan. And don´t say "ah, come on, she´s not dead yet". She´ll die. She´ll die in hospital and I can´t even hold her in my arms! Make her survive, Betty. Please! There´s no sense in my life without her! What should I do if she dies? Ah, yeah, I forgot. I´m to bring her corpse to her mother and then commit suicide. Great fate. At least I was your MMC! You had Jef as a Villain and Lia as a victim, so why do Pan and I have to become victims, to? Why do I have to be such a tragic hero? I DON´T WANT TO BE TRAGIC!!! I want to be happy. With Pan. You´re such a beast, Betty. I hate you. Don´t let me die painful. Romin

Re: Dear Author

Shaluna — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 21:55:37 -0500

Dear Author, I know you kinda want me to grow up already, but really I like being a teenager. It suits me better and I get to feel the first love when it's just very new and all. Just one little request, could you make Katariina's divorce happen a little sooner? I really would like to be with her and just her. And why do you have to make Kevin so nice? I would be a lot easier to hate him for being married to the woman I love if he wasn't so goddamn nice. We'll I guess I'll manage, since I know they are gonna get divorce when I turn 18 (and move to her house <3). (I know glimpses about my life after that and it seems really scary. Please don't kill me, thanks!) Yours truly, Hanna Harmaaranta Dear Author, why do you make me fall in love? It's so not me. And suddenly I have have all these feelings and I feel lost? WTF are you doing to me? Well, I guess I'll manage if you keep Hanna at bay. She could be a little more submissive still, I think she's not as devouted to me as I'd like to. Katariina Rosendahl P.S. Thanks for letting me kill people! That's awesome, I've always wanted to do that. I just hate that I have to wait for that until I'm 35.

Re: Dear Author

CB_Young — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 22:15:07 -0500

Dear Tuesday CB, You have the entire day off, and you should take this opportunity to get caught up on that word count. Your homework is already done, all you have to do is put the Flash games down and write. If you do not, you know how angry at you Wednesday CB is going to be. Love, Monday CB

Re: Dear Author

Mika Mika — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 00:56:35 -0500

Dear Mika, Um wow, there's a lot of author-hate going on in here. But on behalf of myself and everyone else (at least the ones I talked to and yes that includes Violet) we'd like to thank you once again for choosing us this blessed November. You know, it wasn't easy beating out the competition in the back of your mind for this opportunity. Yes, unbeknownst to you we had been brutally warring it out with the other stories for this prize since September, you were too busy with school to notice. It was intense, yes, but we had a few tricks up our sleeves. We knew it would take an extra something special for you finally let us out. That's why after sitting around for three years waiting for you to find time to finish our plot, we decided to take the initiative and write the rest of the framework for you, literally the week before Nano. Goodbye writers block. This is how much we love you (and how desperate we were!). We are honoured that you chose us as your "debut" novel after our long rocky friendship. Of course like everyone above, we could complain about your procrastination and some plot peeves, but we all decided encouragement is the best policy. Really we appreciate this so much! I know this is a huge step for you and you are doing so well keeping your head above the water. We're glad to be your creation. No one else could do what you're doing for us. And we're lucky that you're the type who commits to her projects. So, all we have to do is encourage and cooperate with you and make this process as painless as possible. We are simply happy with each and every word you write each day. Love, Brian and The Others (P.S. The rest of you could be a little encouraging and less berating to your authors. Really, I am apalled at your behavior. They are trying their best. Complaining and bitching won't make them want to write your story any more. Just some advice. Cheers :))

Re: Dear Author

Reuna — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 14:36:01 -0500

Dear Author, I can't believe you did this. What exactly is the point in finding a job for us where the work uniform is topless? Jeez... Disturbedly yours, Landry and Alice *** Dear Landry and Alice, I honestly didn't know that would happen. I'm sorry, I'm completely at a loss right now =( I have no idea what your work is going to be. I'm hoping it won't be anything... weird. Sincerely, Your author

Re: Dear Author

callmeIndigo — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 17:40:25 -0500

Author: [explosive swearing unfit to be printed anywhere, ever] If you kill Duke I will hunt you down, Fourth Wall of no Fourth Wall. Do. NOT. F[rea]king. Touch. My. Boyfriend. --Rebecca

Re: Dear Author

Immortal Obscurity — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 19:05:07 -0500

Dear Crazy Author Lady, Thank you so very much for listening to us, when we begged you to change the ending at the last minute. Everybody (except you) knew that we were meant to be together, & that it was only a matter of time before you saw the light. Thanks for cluing in! Much love always, Val and Tavia - Dear Crazy Author Lady, Never thought I'd say this, but thanks for making me get a clue. Now that I think about it, I suppose that using dark magic to steal Val away from Tavia- not to mention losing my soul in the process- was actually a really crappy game-plan... Whose idea was that, anyway? Peace out, Scar. - Dear Crazy Author Lady, First, you let the Dark Lord break into my mind. I figured it was a one-off, so I played along with it... but that was BEFORE you made him steal my soul... Again, I took the hit, but THEN, you made me pop out his demon seed- have you gone completely and utterly mad? Pretending to be the Mistress of Death is one thing; giving birth to his evil spawn, is something else entirely... This is beyond forgiveness, dear author, and here is where I draw the line. I've accepted my fate, and I am quite happy to raise the child as my own. So, why don't you sod off and go learn some REAL magic, before I am forced to dispose of you. Hanging in the balance, Shadowsong. (your rootless and first-name-less FMC) - Dear Crazy Author Lady, We love you! Thanks so much for giving us our happy ending- we knew that we wouldn't have to work hard for it, but we've thoroughly enjoyed the ride. Oh, and thank you for uniting our families- Romeo and Juliet would be jealous! Much love always, Sestiva and Patrick.

Re: Dear Author

Senom299 — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 19:12:42 -0500

Senom, I'm going to give you three choices. You listening? Good. Here they are. One: You write these last two scenes of Prelude so we can call it a volume and get started on whatever you're doing for the series anniversary next month. The semi-easy option. Two: You just quit now and leave us alone forever and ever. The easiest option. Three: If you don't have the story finished tonight and you're still trying tomorrow, I'm coming out there. I'm warning you. I don't know if your forehead can take any more shots, but we're about to find out. Think about this. Lily

Re: Dear Author

shockvaluecola — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 19:45:54 -0500

Dear Keyboard Chick, What the hell have you done with my balls? Can I man the fuck up, please? I'm acting all sappy and shit and my reaction when Joy hits me is to run away? I will hit her the fuck back! Okay, except I won't, because I'm...feeling something. (Author: You're stupid in love with each other.) Shut up. And because I want to make sure she feels bad about doing it first and knows she shouldn't. Seriously, no matter how I...feel (Author: Love.) SHUT UP! No matter how I feel, Joy's essentially an overgrown, angry toddler, and I can't put up with that forever. Also, where did my awesomeness go? I am amazing, and I know it, and I spend the whole fucking book questioning everything. There are hardly any descriptions of how good I look in whatever I'm wearing! Shame on you. ~Alexander Ursus di Leo. Dear you, Fuck you. Stop using me as a mouthpiece. Although, yes, I would totally be fine with a guy hitting me if I hit him, but you didn't have to be so fucking clumsy about it. No love, J Dear Carley, Oh god, if these two do not get a happy ending, I will shoot you in the head. They are driving me crazy. That's all! <3, Darcy! Dear Miss Author Lady, Hey, don't worry about it! I'll get a bigger role in this next book. I know, I know, you wanted me to have a bigger part. It's okay. I don't mind. I promise. But hey, I'm a midwife and Joy's having a baby in the sequel, so you have plenty of time for me then! It's all good! :D Love, Gary Wilmott Dear Carley, Yeah, Gary may be all happy-go-lucky about it, but I got like two scenes. I was supposed to be a lot bigger. What the hell? Expand on me, now. -Alec Shapiro

Re: Dear Author

pleonastication — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 20:06:11 -0500

Dear Author, Please stop re-writing this one scene over and over and over again. Re-living the same day in every possible way is not as much fun as it was when we started. Just move on already, for our sanity and yours. - Your very fed-up characters.

Re: Dear Author

Vena.rac.Masama — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 20:27:31 -0500

Dear Author: Gee, thanks for giving me an impossible situation. I have to now tell a teen that his dad died, have to jump universes, and all the while I CAN'T EVEN WALK....And did I mention the bit where you threw in the weirdo who keeps messaging me? You told me when I signed up for this crazy deal that it would probably be a romance or a teenage adventure or something. Um. Yeah. I appreciate the funny bits and Ben and Keeva are great to have around, but....NOT. FREAKING. COOL. -Neon Dear Author: Wow. If you let me in, you must be DESPERATE. I mean, lay off the scifi channel....or something. I'm like...Data. Except, I'm mimicking a dead girl. I'm in love with a guy who killed himself in another universe. And while I think I have a damn good grasp of what's going on, you must be joking when you think it will be an easy-peasy solution. We need Madame Taylor, who's dead, and we need Sir Norwood, who's also dead, and we probably can do without you. Keith and I might be able to handle this, actually, if we rope in...you know...the rest of the company, NASA, RKA, JAXA, ESA and pretty much any other space agency you can get hold of...according to events that are happening in YOUR universe, we probably SHOULD rope in the Aussies. Can you let the professionals take over, though? -Bet

Re: Dear Author

Lalina2005 — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 20:36:12 -0500

Dear Author, What the heck were you thinking starting a work out routine NOW? You haven't exercised in over EIGHT years and you pick now to do it? Really? REALLY? Now look at you, you're tired and your muscles hurt and you are writing slow as molasses. How are we ever going to finish this journey you have us on if you're too tired? *sigh* Look, we're happy you're trying to make some changes in your life, we just wish you'd waited till December! Please don't abandon us in the pursuit of abs. Love, The Gang

Re: Dear Author

GermanMickey — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 21:46:47 -0500

Dear Mickey, I despise you to the fullest. Your story is going nowhere fast, you make me fall in love with a girl who is still a minor, and I'm supposed to be a depressing tragic hero. Really? Really? I'm an author in this so called novel of yours and I'm ten times better than you. Sincerely, Dedric Wayne

Re: Dear Author

your biggest fan — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 15:56:22 -0500

Dear Jerkface, Will you figure out if you're going to marry me off to Thomas or if I'm going to leave him at the alter?

Re: Dear Author

Creative — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 10:04:40 -0500

Dear Creative, WHAT THE HELL!!?!?! YOU PROMISED. You promised we would be okay, but nnnoooo, you end the story with us going into eternal torture? THANKS. Thanks a whole lot!! - Adin and Elizabeth

Re: Dear Author

Angryman — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 02:51:12 -0500

Dear Angryman, I just want to know one thing: Did I REALLY HAVE TO BE SHOT?! I know we share some similarities, but I didn't want getting shot to be one of the differences! No back stage passes for you when The Oni make it big! Sincerely, Simon Heidahl

Re: Dear Author

Lalina2005 — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 22:26:45 -0500

Dear Author, This is the third night since December started that you haven't written a damned thing. You promised you were going to buckle down tonight and instead you've left us hanging. Again. Ok, fine Benji still hasn't let you know how he plans to light the night up. You still have no idea how Cole is going to unravel the mystery and save people or how Regan is going to help him. And yeah, you're pissed at Sean cause he's being a jerkface... these are just excuses! And if you put fingers to keyboard you'd find all the answers you're looking for! You're off the hook for tonight but you better pound out thousands of words to make up for it starting tomorrow night and ALL weekend. Lock your kids and hubs in the closet or something, would ya?? Jees. No love, Your Disgruntled Characters

Re: Dear Author

Writerwithasword17 — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 16:33:14 -0500

Dear Author person, Ok you really need to give me some courage or something. I can't be a mouse all my life! Oh, and that little incident with the branding irons....thanks for that. THAT IS DEFINATELY GOING TO SCAR! Sincerly, Ember

Re: Dear Author

DancesWithWritersBlock — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 22:47:19 -0500

Dear DWWB, First and foremost, why in gods name do you keep procrastinating!?!... I think I speak for the rest of us in your imagination when I say, make up your #$@*&^ mind woman! Write something! I don't even care if it isn't even my story, it's just getting REALLY tight in here and hopefully if you finish something it won't be so uncomfortable for us characters in your head.... Now, once I got that out of the way, more about me. Why won't you figure out what happens to me? I know the main idea is to set me up with a girl named Reagan who is a little less then half my age, but I heard you throw around "September 11th," "Amnesia," and "Domestic Abuse," and "Kidnapping." Please decide! Your driving me absolutely mad! Love, Dr. Derek Holt PS: Did you HAVE to visualize me as the actor Patrick Wilson? I can just feel you mental stripping me right now, and it's kind of inappropriate... I blame it on that show you watch every Friday...Stupid CBS.

Re: Dear Author

AvryRedwun — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 01:11:25 -0500

Dear Av, Really? Realy? You threw me into this crazy situation, never actually bothered to get to know me, FORGOT about me on several occasions and had to write me into a scene, and then you just... kill me? Just like that? It was not even a fatal wound! Just a little bite out of my shoulder... and SINCE WHEN were the fangs of those creatures poisionous? On a quieter note, did you stop to think about how crushed my parents would be? How I never got to say goodbye? I saw that you included live coverage of my funeral. Did you even glance twice at how hurt my family was? Did you ever think that maybe I had something more to say to them? Like 'I love you'? I would have hugged my baby sister goodbye had you given me any fair warning. Thanks, at least, for writing about how I saved big, tough Reni. It was good for her to be shown that she can rely on others a bit. She had been stuck on that planet too long. Give my love to the others and to my family please. I will enjoy watching my baby sister grow up, from Heaven. Odd, I never realized how cute she was when I was with her... Yours, Landon.

Re: Dear Author

Silver Fallen — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 23:49:39 -0500

Dear Silver, Can you please figure out why I am horribly disfigured and yet still peppy and cheery? Oh, and at least give me something decent besides being a pain in the side. I want something to do. I'm bored out of my mind. A lot. Maybe just a game or something to play during long desert rides. Please? Oh and make him stop being so moody and pouty. Thanks! Hera Dear Author, Seriously? You are a sadistic, horrible person. Isn't it bad enough that I was orphaned and have a low enough self esteem? Then you have to go kill my brother and everybody who ever meant anything to me, and get stabbed in the back. Thanks. Thanks a lot. I hope your heart weighs more than that stupid feather and your soul gets devoured. I want my brother back! And I'm really sick of the stinking PTSD you decided to give me. I just love the wonderful reminders of watching my loved ones being murdered, oh and then nearly getting raped and beaten to death. Please go die in a hole, or I will kill you myself. Slowly. And painfully. You know I will. Ammon

Re: Dear Author

lionhuntermo — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 16:43:08 -0500

Dear Arielle, Why do I have a girl's handwriting? And what's with this dog collar? Do you hate me or something? Sleep with one eye open, Grey ~~~~ Dear Arielle, I'll run over Rose too (I've already hit three other characters from three other stories with Roth-Ann, what's one more?). But you owe me. When I eventually get to New York (if I don't go to jail for all these near murders/murders) I better become famous or something. Ready to roll, Cassie ~~~~ Dear Arielle, Why DO I always get the crazies? Signed, An Irritated Alanna

Re: Dear Author

Alice Rocker — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 09:46:38 -0500

Dear author, Why? Seriously? Why? More loose ends? Do you WANT to finish this story? And are you TRYING to kill me? Because I think you are. I know that was supposed to happen but really? REALLY??? Must you make my life difficult? Amnesia? Really? We're never going to get anywhere if you make me FORGET everything!!! And especially if you sit there and research amnesia and fribullation or whatever it's called for hours! Can't you just leave me be? I liked where the plot was going! Why'd you change it at the last minute? Don't make me go on strike. Threateningly, -Cinni Dear author, Thank you for my wonderful new friend, even if she does freak me out a bit. I appreciate you trying to rehabilitate me after you attacked me with wolves and then practically killed me. But I would really appreciate it (even more) if you wouldn't wipe Cinni's memory. I really would. I really don't think there needs to be that twist. I really don't. Can't...can't it just go as it was supposed to? Please? Hopeful, -Salem Author, Why did you make my backstory that suckish? Why? (Twins: Why not! Moora: BECAUSE IT SUCKED.) I really didn't need that. But at least you gave me a happy ending. Now, stop messing with Salem. Seriously, -Moora

Re: Dear Author

finchgeam — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 14:05:03 -0500

Dear Author, I am the first person you thought of in this universe. I thank you for that, but I need to ask you a question. Why are you only NOW ... a year later giving me screen time. Heck ... up til now I wasn't even mentioned. Whatever ... Sincerely, Phoenix

Re: Dear Author

Red Queen — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 16:32:09 -0500

Dear Red Queen, in response to your (laughable) complaint we are getting it on too soon (Tyra: Getting it on? Seriously? You couldn't have said it a bit more gently, like, "grow close" or something?, Petri: Honey, come on, everyone knows what's going on, probably even the dude who serves beer at the inn, so let me just name it, alright?). You see, we like each other. Ever heard of "love at first sight"? (Tyra: Really now?, Petri: What now, woman? First too straight-forward, now too cheesy, decide on something already!) Anyway, even you know we are made for each other. You did say we're gonna get married, didn't you? So why on earth do we have to wait two more months until we are even allowed to make out? We are both grown-ups, so stop making things awkward for all of us and make it official already! Please. This is ridiculous. Impatiently, Tyra & Petri (very much in love with each other)

Re: Dear Author

goblingirl — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 12:36:08 -0500

Dear Katie, You could at least have warned me before throwing in Naeema (I like her though, don't think I don't) and making me one leg of a triad. I don't mind sharing but I'd have liked to know beforehand, y'know? Love, Zulie PS: Quit thinking about Portal 2 and work on our outline, please. PPS: Neither of them will ever ask you this, but could you just let Maria and Daiya kiss already? The tension is killing them. Dear Katie, Okay, so this Nisha chick is actually my girlfriend who got erased from reality. I can dig that. I mean, she's cute, she's kickass, she's got a great sense of humor--I would totally date her. That part makes sense. That part I like. Me being an interspaciotemporal criminal? Not so much. Come on, woman! Why me? What have I done? Or rather, what will I do? At least tell me what exactly is so horrible that the knockoff MIB are willing to screw up every timeline everywhere just to erase me! Some love, Shannon PS: you haven't figured out what crime I commit, have you?

Re: Dear Author

Debesmanna — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 04:17:38 -0500

Dear Debesmanna: We understand your need to have a vibrant, varied, and endearing gay main cast. You have issues with society to work through. However, just because you're gay, that doesn't mean that every single one of your characters has to be. Love, Your Supporting Cast PS: It's just very statistically improbable.

Re: Dear Author

Alice Rocker — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 19:49:17 -0500

Dear author, I get it. You obviously don't like me. And you know what? I don't like you either. And guess what? You are NOT killing me off, no matter what you think. You don't kill people off in a humour story. That's just wrong. Especially me. I'm too interesting to kill off. Why don't you kill off Gary? At least I have a personality. (Me: He has MPD, okay??? Darren: SHUT UP, THIS IS MY COMPLAINT LETTER.) If you kill me, I will come back and haunt your butt for the REST of your life. You can't touch this, -Darren

Re: Dear Author

TheEvilMatriarch — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 11:04:25 -0500

Dear Author, Stop being a sadist. I don't understand why you enjoy seeing me get hurt, or planning to maul me, or whatever you're doing, but it would be nice if you stopped laughing. Please, think of the kittens. Sincerely, Crys PS: Crystal? Really?

Re: Dear Author

Ginaxx — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 16:27:11 -0500

Dear Gina, You need an antagonist. I get it. Why does it have to be me? I was perfectly happy living in the castle with my father. I don't care that my mother left me as a child. And no, I don't really want to start a war and reclaim old territory. By the way, I do want Viviane to be with me, not Aiden. And I swear, if you kill me off, there will be hell to pay. Yours Truly, Peter

Re: Dear Author

Steampunk avi8or — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 20:58:16 -0500

Dear Avi8or, Stop accidentally typing my name as Sergeant Gay. Thank you. -Sergeant Gray

Re: Dear Author

finchgeam — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 18:26:46 -0500

Dear Creator, I wish you'd stop putting me into every single thing you write ... I need a day off you know... Sincerely, Lourdes "Lola" Lourdes P.S: I find my name weird....

Re: Dear Author

ElliMelody — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 20:13:51 -0500

Dear Author, I understand that you had to give me and my sister a depressing, tragic backstory, but really? I'm a 24 year old angst-ridden teenager! What 24 year old hides himself in his room all day and refuses to eat? No self-respecting one, that's for sure! And if you call Leta my "dear/beloved sister" one more time without sarcasm, I might puke, which won't bode well because you have made me eat nothing in weeks but a bite here ad there of raw rabbit. -Blake P.S: Must you really destroy everyone I love? First my mom, then my dad, and then you kill Brogan! By the hands of my own sister! Really? Really?! ___________________ Dear Author, You say you love me, yet you kill me off in the prequel! what did I ever do to anybody? You nearly made your friend cry when she read my death scene! And I know that you wanted an epic end scene, but really? Did you have to make it my death scene? -Brogan

Re: Dear Author

Carpe Verba — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 21:18:30 -0500

Dear One With the Pen: You've put off editing. Fair enough. But I know you. If you don't buck up, we'll be left in an unedited state for the rest of our lives! I want to know this story. You want to know this story. And neither of us want your friends to see shabby work. So play nice. But you don't have to worry. I'm finally learning what you mean by all that cryptic stuff. So I promise that giving Asper the dagger he needed to kill Hugo was on purpose. You saw what happened! And I have more up my sleeve. Olivia P.S. I won't talk to Raymond. So Hugo's a stepping stone, then: now you'll be able to write a real death instead of a scare? You're sick, but okay. Whatever comes of it, make sure Riz's isn't lame. She deserves better than that. In Response to The One With the Pen: A back story? You want to pity me? I'm a villain! You should love to hate me! But I suppose, since you've given me a daughter, you've cursed me with a soft side. I've never been one for words, but if you pay attention, I'll let you in on a little secret. Lord Archmage Braen

Re: Dear Author

Isabel1993 — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 15:19:24 -0500

Dear Author: Really? You write nonstop for three months, and when you finally decide to take a break it's when I've just been dumped on a dying planet two thousand years in the future? You have no idea what you're doing, do you? Look, the next time you write a book, for the sake of your characters try a little planning ahead of time. Amber Dear, sweet, loving, writer, who I am trying not to hate: I just want a normal life. I would never run off after Amber and end up stranded in the middle of some monumental event in time. Either change the story or stop writing me out of character. Gary

Re: Dear Author

StaticMud — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 11:50:09 -0500

Author: I'm sorry I don't have any hobbies and all I do is organize my boss' files, but it's your fault. After all, this is your story. You could have made me more interesting if you wanted to, but I will try to work on that back story thing for you. It was a little strange to suddenly come to existance at the age of 23. - Keena Author, I'm sorry my friends don't like me like they were supposed to. I ended up becoming a little distant and cold and not so much angsty as just flat. I should have tried to live up to the expectations set by my epic introduction. I DID invade the city because I ran out of cigarettes, so I could try to pull more stunts like that. And I'll work on a childhood. Hollowpoint Dear Author, How about Vladmir? Will that work? And I'll try to write a story of how I was raised for this position and thrust into power. Also, I signed up for Evil 101 so hopefully that shall remedy some of my failure at being an evil dictator. Sincerely, Vladmir (?) Dear Author, Well, how about you have Martin and Keena meet up earlier, or extend the dinner scene? And James can help get Keena out of the actual ship? That will give us both some time to develop ourselves. Yours truly, James and Martin Dear Author, We WOULD if you would LET us! You should have planned this whole thing out better so everything didn't come off so flat and wooden. World build a little, maybe! Everyone else

Re: Dear Author

dancer_kirsten — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 07:15:37 -0500

Dear author, I would like my balls back, thank you. I know I was the workplace pariah before, but now that you've dumped me on this godforsaken farm with a wife and two kids, I've become so metrosexual it's making me puke. Thank God my wife knows where to find my balls, because you sure don't seem to. A very disgruntled MMC who wants his masculinity back.

Re: Dear Author

PeverellSister — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 14:07:48 -0500

Dear Author, I demand that you stop trying to control me. As if I, Penfold, would allow a carrier to work for me. It's absurd. No, it's worse. It's something I would never do. I don't care what sort of story you are writing, and I don't care who you think is the "good guy." I want to lead my people out of Grubindy, and nothing will stand in my way. Even you. Sincerely, Vincent Penfold, who would like a better name as well My response: Gosh, I hate you Penfold. I have a story to tell, and you do nothing but get in the way. I wish you were going to die at the end of the book. Dear Miss Author, What's going on? I thought that I was supposed to have a job with Penfold, but apparently that isn't happening. He's locked me in some room now, and I don't know why. I'm scared. Is this part of the plan? Love, Sydney, who is confused by the constantly changing plot. My response: It's supposed to happen. Penfold started messing with the other plotline, because he wouldn't give you any autonomy, so, yeah. For the moment, be scared. Be very scared. Dear Author, I'd like to ask you about something, if you don't mind ma'am. I think it's hard to have a personality if you take away the thing that defined me in the first draft. I couldn't do magic. That was important. Now you give me amazing sorcerer powers, and I don't know what to do with them. You aren't going to make me a better sorcerer, are you? Like I get to be the most powerful sorcerer in the world and Sydney turns into a werewolf when we break the barrier? Yours, Mark Halgren, who needs a reason to get kidnapped My response: Sorry about that, Mark. I didn't even think about why that wouldn't work. I think they want you because you were on the team of sorcerers, not because you're super-powerful. Just because you actually know the spell they crafted. It's a bit weird, and it's not just straightforward telling the box what to do, because the moon doesn't work that way. Author: Sorry for the short notice, but I was wondering if I'm allowed to wear mascara. I know I'm an old lady, but I never like going with the cultural trends, and I want to act a bit younger than my age. Oh, and could you find another way to describe me other than my eyes? I'm getting a bit tired of just grinning and widening my eyes. I do more that that, you know. :) Just another thought: what's up with Vinny? I want to tell Sydney and Mark--when I meet him-- about that, but how much am I allowed to say? Just wondering. -Ursula, who wants to see the outside world again. My response: Go ahead and wear mascara. I don't care. You're only allowed to mention Vinny Penfold's first name to Sydney and Mark. You can call him Vinny and that's it. It's supposed to be a surprise at the end. Sorry for the long post. I'm just right in the middle of trying to figure out my second draft, and all these plot holes and character problems are popping up everywhere.

Re: Dear Author

PeverellSister — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 16:47:40 -0500

Dear Author, Please give me some backstory and my world some description. Everything that happens goes half-explained, and it doesn't make any sense. I need some life here! Please! -Sydney, speaking for all the citizens of Grubindy.

Re: Dear Author

Fantasy-Is-Reality — Sat, 03 Mar 2012 14:44:30 -0500

Dear Author, Please give my city a name at least. I am basically its leader, since the humans don't exactly have the numbers to defeat me, and even I have a name. I need names for places within the city too, don't forget! So stop finding songs for me for different parts of this story and do what I have asked! I realise you need songs to write but the events they are for don't happen for a good while. Yours, Lucifer.

Re: Dear Author

mutewitness — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 11:50:48 -0500

Dear Author, Seriously, you're only on page 4 and you already had me get beaten? Also, are you EVER going to finish this novel? Yours, Louisa.

Re: Dear Author

arualo — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 11:55:51 -0500

Dear Author, Are you ever going to write what will happen to us? Don't leave us hanging like this! It has already been three months, come back, please! Yours, Annika

Re: Dear Author

Smsohynerdfighter — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 19:14:12 -0400

Dear Author, I love Malinda! You made me miss her every time she approached me, made her fall in love with Bret, AND THEN MAKE ME LOVE HER!!!!!! How why? You better make my girl perfect?! If you don't, I'll give you the plot twist you've been wanting! Why do you hate me, Chris Dear Author, How long will it take for you to get to the point where I can marry Malinda? Oh and I really think Klayton is gay for me, so could you like..... change that? Impatiently Bret Dear Author, I have no idea if I'm straight or not. Please help me decide! I really want Chris... OMG! Did I just say that Bye, Klayton

Re: Dear Author

Fantasy-Is-Reality — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 08:46:03 -0400

Dear Author, Am I telekinetic or am I not!? You're so indecisive...And why don't I have music!? Lucifer gets music. Yours, Roksana.

Re: Dear Author

Beebee2121 — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 11:07:06 -0400

Bee, Actually, things are looking very nice over here. I'm not crazy about the musical idea and the fact that you're making me sing to my plants makes me come off a like a schizophrenic, but I'll with it, I guess. Maybe you should actually write something instead of sitting around and brainstorming. You've got the idea. Go with! Uncharacteristically optimistic, Sacha Durand Hey Bee, Can I have a story? Pretty please? I'm really good in the RP forums, but I'd like a story. And a world. And a plot. It'll be awesome! I promise! Caspar P.S. I want a last name, too!

Re: Dear Author

finchgeam — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 11:15:16 -0400

Dear Author, Well, I don't know of this Haruhi chick, so I have no idea. If you are talking about the unpredictable part, I can't help it, I love life and life should be lived. From what I hear Haruhi is obsessed with the paranormal. I'm not .... I just love life, that's it....

Re: Dear Author

MyMuseIsDead — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 12:45:28 -0400

Dear Az, Look, I know ALL ABOUT being OCD. You're the one who cursed me with it, remember? But it would be really, really cool if you could stop world-building and finish the first novel. So, you know... we can write the second one for this pretty competition here? Two chapters in a whole year is kind of sad, even if you did have to re-write every Greek and Roman legend. ~Lorelei 'Lori' Thene Dear Az, I'm flattered that you spend so much time writing about Nate and I falling for each other, but... Don't you think you should write things that people will actually read? And not things you're keep shoved in the bottom of your closet for the rest of eternity? ~Domitius 'Dom'/'Miti' Artemin Dear Az, You gave me the best boyfriend ever... Even though he's not really my boyfriend. But you also made me suicidal... only not really. I"m really confused about whether you like me or not. I mean, you saddled me with Roxxy... but she's got to do everything I say. What do you WANT from me? ~Nathaniel 'Nate' Pluto Az, What do you mean I had sex with Roxxy? ~William 'Will' Le Herme Bitch Who Ruins My Life, FOR THE LAST TIME. I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH NATE. I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH WILL. I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH NATE. I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH THE KEEPER. WHY AM I SOME SORT OF DEPRAVED PANSEXUAL TO YOU? I kill things. THE END. ~ Roxxanne 'Roxxy' Mars

Re: Dear Author

New_Light — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 19:08:50 -0400

Dear Freak Controlling My Life, Are you freaking kidding me? "Hmm I think I should write a story about a guy who lives in a post apocalyptic world who only cares about his little sister and generally pisses people off by breathing because that doesn't scream the Hunger Games AT ALL". And as for Nessa? Seriously, nothing will EVER happen between us. She's a bitch. -Micheal (You haven't even given me a last name. Let's just say it's Everdeen and completely screw originality.)

Re: Dear Author

New_Light — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 21:06:17 -0400

You're both retarded. -Nessa

Re: Dear Author

PeverellSister — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 09:27:49 -0400

Dear Miss Fail--I mean Author, I don't even care about being polite at this point. What the heck are you doing to this world? First you kill my best friend, then you turn me into a werewolf, but even that's not the worst of it. I'm living in a world where nothing is explained, nothing makes sense, the sensory details make my head hurt (see, I was justified in thinking that it didn't mean I was turning into a werewolf. It was your fault that it started with a headache!), and I don't even get where I am! I don't know what's happening, I don't understand this pack, I don't understand this world! Do I have the stupid box or not?! Stop changing everything on me. It's bad enough what's already happened to me that you meant to happen without you making it worse for me! And I don't know about you, but I just want Ramon to leave me alone. Can you at least do that for me? Or can you give me a way to get him to leave? I mean, even for his sake, just let him leave me alone! Sincerely Yours, Sydney

Re: Dear Author

bookwormwen — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 16:00:22 -0400

Dear Creator, Thanks for abandoning us last November. We were actually going somewhere with this novel, until you skipped a writing day, and then you just left us alone. Some of us want to actually stop the treason plot, and win the war, and prove that we aren't the arsonists who set the infirmary on fire. So, you think you could maybe come back and get things moving again? Sincerely, Drea and the rest of the cast

Re: Dear Author

skymessenger — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 15:19:23 -0400

Dear Writer, HEY! You just changed my story, and my life, AGAIN! Come on dude. I was just fighting dragons when you switched me over to a demon ten times my size. You've been jumping me around for years trying to find me a place to stay, Kinda getting impatient here! How about I lead you to the story myself? I try to write what I want. And.....crap the demons back. Dont think this over! We are so not done discussing this!!!! - Riley/Sora/Sky/Viri

Re: Dear Author

Story of Latea — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 11:04:28 -0400

Dear Mussulini --No, not you, Mu! It's very nice of you to set me out on an adventure, and thank you for helping me start and finish goals. Without you, I would never be here. At all. Neither would Lopus, same with the others in the cast. We're all here because of you, and we don't want that to change. You're really writing a lovely story here! -Latea M.

Re: Dear Author

VanillaBean14 — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 20:29:55 -0400

Dear Stupid Writer - You killed my mommy and daddy and destroyed my house and killed a lot of people and grandma says you're mean and I hate you. -Theo Higgins, age 11 P.S., I don't like it here in grandpa's town. It's not my house. --- Dear Author, Why, why, why, why, WHY?! Why did you pair up Miranda and I?! She's a crazy lady! And why do I have to be the woobie? Why?! Are you sick in the head? I don't want to be stuck in a bed for a week suffering from god-knows-what! And why did you make me drink vodka?! I'M ONLY SEVENTEEN! DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY LIVER WILL BE IN A FEW YEARS?! AND SPEAKING OF ALL OF THIS, I - *the rest of this letter was censored by the recipient and deleted before being posted because we value your sanity* Sincerely, Theodore "Theo" Malcolm Higgins II --- Dear Author, Theo is a sweetheart, even if he IS a grumpy Gus. Thank you for sending me on something EXCITING, and more importantly, WITHOUT THAT CRAZY SNIPER VANDIVOND! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Theo is so cute when he's embarrassed. But he's no fun when he's bedridden. Why is he always in trouble with something? Are you up to something? Sincerely, Miranda Halloway P.S., Rolf says than you for forwarding him the letter from his sister. But he could have told you that. Bye! --- Dear Author, Thanks for giving me the letter from my sis. And the cake. It's my birthday next week. Can I have a special part of the chapter to myself? <3 Rolf --- Dear Authoress, Why. Just... why? -Raoul --- Bleh. -Brent and Vera

Re: Dear Author

FantasyGirl14 — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 11:16:41 -0400

Dear Fantasy, You. Killed. Me. Why? I was the good one for evil's sake! Sure, I come back, but you still thought it was okay for you to kill me. And, I know I'm the level headed one (compared to the others, which isn't saying much) but I'm still pissed. You're only making me the main character in the next book to buy me off so I won't hate you. -Sincerely, Cain. P.S. If you try and bash my skull in again you'll find me slamming your head into a force field. See how you like it. Dear Fantasy, Just because I'm the daredevil flirtatious sort-of asshole sometimes does not mean it is okay to pull this shit! My mom was murdered, I was KIDNAPPED and raised by my mother's killer, then my adopted father is almost murdered -I don't even know where my real father is- you try and kill off my girlfriend (Cain said she'd be writing you, so I'd watch out. She's pissed.) and then you make me have to kill my adopted mother? What the hell!? What'd I ever do to you? And by the way, I would never have lost to that perverted asshole. -Logan. P.S. I get kidnapped? Again!? Dear Fantasy, I'm pretty good, actually. I'm kick butt, Logan's threatened by me, I take down the second villain (admittedly after Logan roughed him up a bit), and I get to take on a mob. So, yeah, thanks. -Marco. P.S. Though I'm still not happy about the whole 'run away from arranged marriage' thing. Kinda cliche. Dear Fantasy, Why? My life was fine, and then you send her. She's weak, she's annoying, she's useless, and she's here for the whole series!? How will I ever deal with her without killing her? Necko's ruining everything. I was happy just being with Ander and Soyya, but now Soyya's acting like a love sick puppy, and thank you by the way for having me be in love with my mentor, who I could never be with, because that's just the icing on the cake. Ander could have been my age, or I could have been his age, but no. It's like you don't even want me to be with him! -Yours, Nera. P.S. She doesn't even know how to fight! Dear Fantasy, I'm the cute little brainy pipsqueak boyish character. I know that, and I've accepted it. But, the first girl I fall for is a lesbian? Come on, that's a little harsh! Can't I get something for once? -Soyya P.S. *reading further in the notes* She falls for her!? Dear Fantasy, Get me out of here! Narenica is crazy, Soyya likes me, and I'm surrounded by demons! I don't like it here! They're all evil, and violent, and they are going to kill me! I just want to go back to LaCitus, that's all. I miss my parents, and my friends, and I do not want to be here. My first day here I'm beaten to a pulp and kidnapped by a demon princess! Do you find this funny or something? I mean, it's not enough I'm practically a rag-doll and can't even stand up for myself, but then you send me to one of the most violent and depraved places in the universe!? -Best wishes, Necko. Dear Fantasy, You've been putting the others through a lot. What with Nera being in love with me, Soyya being in love with Necko, Necko being stuck here in hell, and all of that stuff. So, I consider myself lucky for the most part. But stop picking and Soyya, he's a good kid. -Ander. P.S. Do I even do anything in this book? You haven't even told me what I'm supposed to do. Dear Fantasy, I, as the main villain, deserve to be heard. You kill me? I die!? What kind of bullshit is that! And my own son betrays me, falls for a common girl, then kills me? Just because I bashed her skull into a magic wall? It was only a little! I am getting outta here some day and I'll have your head! -Sincerely, Jestelle. P.S. He marries her!? Dear Fantasy, I'm the second big bad in the first book and I suck!? I can't even hold my own against a teenager! -Astithe Dear Fantasy, Pathological? Really? I mean, really!? You'd sink that low? I am so not pleased! -Path P.S. Even Myth gets a better name than me! And Theo is down right lucky! Logical is not a decent ending for a name! Dear Fantasy, It's so funny watching Path freak out. -Mythological/Theological/and siblings Dear Fantasy, Thank you! I'm a prince, I'm hot, everyone loves me, and Path is hot! And he's got that whole sexy repressed thing going on. Yeah, my life kinda gets sucky, what with turning human and all that, but I prefer to look on the bright side. -Ari Dear Fantasy, Stop writing these and figure out your damn CampNaNo! There's only two months! -Path, Ari, Nili, and co.

Re: Dear Author

Kaite_Somerdorf — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 20:16:55 -0400

Kaite, I know things never looked good from the start last year. The plot was absurd, and the number of words that actually told of our adventure was even more so. But, I do think it was very cruel of you to abandon us like that. I appriciate it that you did some writing with us today, but it doesn't feel enough. Levii's pretty disappointed, all things considered. And Archibald... you never even introduced him! He just sits here, crying as badly as I would if I was chopping him up - not to be compared to a murderer, but he IS an onion, after all. I just think that, with more time, we could have gotten somewhere. Sincerely, Dust (on behalf of Levii, Archibald, and the rest of your insanely unique characters) Kaite, Yeah, I know you're just trying to write a story. And, I also know that you woud never want this stuff to happen to people you actually know - after all, we're just replicat of those you love on paper. But does that mean that you don't care about us at all? You know, that was totally out of my character. But, it kind of speaks the truth. You ARE, after all, ruining our life. You make me split up with my wife - huge blow, especially since we've never fought before. (And don't say it hurt you as much as it hurt us - YOU'RE not the one who's married.) You make us get kidnapped, and shoved together in a little basement for an unknown period of time. You feed us raw eggs at one point, and nothing else. Yet, you have NO plan for our child as well. And, to make matters worse, it seems like you've got Mandy contemplating suicide, our sadistic kidnapper jamming something in someone's bone, trying to assasinate at least one of us, and you intend to have one of us nearly die. If I'm correct, most of this stuff happens to Mandy, and I'm forced to watch it unfold. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I WILL BECOME AFTER NaNoWriMo? I will be an empty shell of myself - and, worst part is, I have no idea if I'll even be ALIVE. Where's the coveted, freeing ending you promised, like every other author? What happens to Mandy, mysef, and our son? Please, I'm not trying to condemn you or anything, I just want a few answers and for you to know what it feels like being me. -Calvin Park P.S. If you're going to torture me so, could you include something about Hebrew in this novel? Just for my sanity? And, oh - one last thing. Braden McKnabb seems pretty excited about writing an NaNoNovel inside your Camp NaNo. Just thought I'd share it with you.

Re: Dear Author

skymessenger — Tue, 01 May 2012 10:23:58 -0400

To: Writer Squeak squeak squeak! Bark bark hisssss! Bark! Hisssssssss! Squeak squeak bark squeak squeak squeak?! Bark bark squeak bark! Bark bark bark bark?! Squeak squeak bark squeak hissssssss....squeak. Squeak squeak HISSSSSSSSS! Hisssssss! *tiny pawprint* Rough, cleaned up, translation (Whoa whoa whoa! Your main character is the ditzy girl I'm paired with? NOT ME?! Helloooo!? How many other weasel/mongoose/fox combos have you met?! I'm sure any reader is much more facinated by me! And how come I can't speak till chapter 5?! These weird sqeuaking and barking noises are nuts....though I do love the hissing. Anyways, FIX IT OR I BITE YOU! I'm serious!!! Signed, the weasel)

Re: Dear Author

Nocturna — Tue, 01 May 2012 11:01:04 -0400

Nocturna, Dearest... Don't give up now. After almost three years the end of this thing is almost in sight. You need to finish this book, you're so close!!! Please keep going; don't leave me on the bridge with this lunatic forever. Come on, you can do it. I believe in you. We ALL believe in you. Well, except for Byron, maybe, but he doesn't believe in anyone other than himself because he's Mr Self-Obsessed or something. But the rest of us are rooting for you. Get us to the finish line and we'll all go out on a mad absinthe spree to celebrate. Even Tom, although I'm not strictly sure ten year old Victorian urchins should be drinking absinthe. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. And speaking of bridges, I'm kind of in a bind here. Help me out. I put up with the torture and the surprise of my mother turning up and the murder of Molly; the least you can do is finish the story and let us tie up our loose ends. You can do it!!!!! With fondest regards, Charlotte (and Dimitri, Tom, Harry, Thorne, Bramble, Jaq, Shelley, Byron (reluctantly), Tabitha, Sir Robert, Queen Victoria and the Shades of all those you killed along the way - planned or otherwise).

Re: Dear Author

ashybear — Fri, 04 May 2012 03:39:21 -0400

Dear Ashleigh, Why'd you kill me, huh? I was your your favourite minor character. You hated Cristo, yet you only made him disappear. I bet he's still alive. And what about Javier? I know you suspected my feelings towards him, but now he's on his own. He's hurting. I hate you for killing me!! Your favourite character, Luc. Dear Ashleigh, Why did my daughter have to die? What did she ever do to you? She was just a little girl? She was innocent. That was so pointless. I miss my baby every day. Parkes Evanny, Soldier of the West

Re: Dear Author

elvendork — Thu, 10 May 2012 01:07:31 -0400

Ceb, Babe, I know it's been hard with the whole bit sbout you being nocturnal and having to room with a night-sleeper for the next three months, but that doesn't mean you can abandon us. Get your act together before we revolt and decide to hang out in the Shadows Trilogy (Because you can edit during the day, but can't write. Yeah, that makes sense). - Jules, Fitz, and Bit Ceb, ....so I'm evil now? And dead? I don't understand. I just don't. - Ash

Re: Dear Author

Beastfire — Thu, 10 May 2012 23:37:52 -0400

Dear B****fire, What is your problem? Did I have to die at 26? And from bisection?! Also, I don't appreciate you sending Jesse after me. My eyelids still hurt from being stitched open. Also, why do you like abusing poor Spencer so much? You've given the guy night terrors. And he's gone full-vegetarian, can't wear a regular necktie to work anymore...hell, he can't even look at BLONDES anymore without starting to cry. If his issues start to mess up his not-yet-born child, I will END you. Actually, y'know what? I may not even wait until then. I'll get aunt Beast on the phone. We'll find your house. The fourth wall will not protect you, woman! Much "Love", Travis

Re: Dear Author

CBehrens — Sun, 20 May 2012 12:20:26 -0400

Dear Chloe, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?! Honestly? I have never been so out-of-sorts in my life. I have a routine. I rather LIKE my routine. Why are you turning my world upside down? I told you at the beginning of this that I wasn't shopping for a relationship. Nor was I window shopping for one. I just wanted to finish my college career and move onto the next phase of my life. You've turned this into a romance novel? Seriously!? This is just as unlike YOU as it is me. Also, I don't do well with crying, so I'd appreciate it if you stop trying to make this happen. As you can see, it's not working in your favor, anyway. And I don't want a stinkin' sequel! You've put me through enough. Thanks, Berlyn PS - you couldn't have found a more stunning man to antagonize me with. Thanks for the eye candy.

Re: Dear Author

Ambrele — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 22:04:06 -0500

Dear Ambrele, Really? You just suddenly had to change the entire plot and make everything backwards? Stop toturing me, I know you will kill of one of my friends soon. God you are a hurtful person... Plus this name! How on earth do you come up with these random names? Also can you make the story any more predictale come on! Send us a curve ball! I'm yawning over here! No love and seriously bored Amara

Re: Dear Author

CDominiqueGibson — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 23:12:45 -0500

Dear C. Dominique, My, I do say, your name is more contrived than this plot you've thrown me into. That explains it all. Regards, Ethan Clairmont Tombalt III Esquire

Re: Dear Author

Windstorm 124 — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 22:22:16 -0500

Wild North Dear Marie, Let me get this straight. You are going to kill my (Secret) twin sister, put me through torture, have Daniel and Martin figure out my past, and THEN you're finally going to kill me in some heroic way. Seriously? Why can't you kill me BEFORE the torture or something. The Snakes aren't exactly nice people... Especially not my brother. Oh and by the way, I HAVE NO LOVE INTERESTS PEOPLE WHO HELP MARIE!!! Kira

Re: Dear Author

Kidrylm-writer — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 22:17:19 -0400

This Lorenz fellow sounds EPIC.

Re: Dear Author

The_Seventh_Sage — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 22:08:13 -0400

Your characters and my characters, if they ever met, would make a support group called CWP, "Characters Without Profiles" and talk about us behind our backs :D.

Re: Dear Author

Aerlinn — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 11:57:22 -0400

Oh my gosh, I want to read this.

Re: Dear Author

samhinrichs678 — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 03:51:56 -0400

[quote]P.S. You're very lucky that I'm interested in this Sophia character or else I wouldn't have anything to do with this debacle. Now...I'm not seeing any sex scenes in this outline of yours and it has me a bit concerned... [/quote] [quote]P.S. Look, I know that in real life I died of Typhus at 26, but can't you take some artistic liberties with that or something? Please? I'll be a good, well behaved character, I promise. [/quote] Both of these had me laughing so hard I thought I was going to read my fiance. I really, really want to read this.

Re: Dear Author

fpwriter92 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 17:28:15 -0400

All right. I really want to read this now >.<

Re: Dear Author

Kidrylm-writer — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 22:19:35 -0400

*grabs popcorn* Ooh! This sounds really good!

Re: Dear Author

Haruka_Otaku — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 10:37:37 -0500

Oh! I need to read this!

Re: Dear Author

rachum_05 — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 15:53:33 -0400

My characters are poking me in the face and asking where that sign up sheet is!

Re: Dear Author

thecandiedmango — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 22:16:08 -0400

That should be "I don't appreciate your manipulation of my life."

Re: Dear Author

thecandiedmango — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 00:55:11 -0400

I lol'd. This is how it should be.

Re: Dear Author

stuckonaleaf3310 — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 15:10:34 -0500

I love the name Nicolai. I used it too. SUCK IT UP, NICO! I love your name too.

Re: Dear Author

mccicc — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 13:29:19 -0500

Profiles? No WONDER my characters are wandering around aimless from one side of the room to another and back again and doing NOTHING but telling their backstories (which I'm not even sure are GOOD backstories) and flashbacks (see earlier parens). Sheesh.

Re: Dear Author

annamoseleywrites — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 19:33:21 -0400

I died of laughter reading this! Ooooh man it sounds like you're going to have some serious fun doing this! Best of luck!

Re: Dear Author

TheGildedFox — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 03:27:24 -0500

[quote=samhinrichs678] [quote]P.S. You're very lucky that I'm interested in this Sophia character or else I wouldn't have anything to do with this debacle. Now...I'm not seeing any sex scenes in this outline of yours and it has me a bit concerned... [/quote] [quote]P.S. Look, I know that in real life I died of Typhus at 26, but can't you take some artistic liberties with that or something? Please? I'll be a good, well behaved character, I promise. [/quote] Both of these had me laughing so hard I thought I was going to read my fiance. I really, really want to read this. [/quote] I'm trying to figure out how someone reads a fiance, but thank you. :-P

Re: Dear Author

annamoseleywrites — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:14:17 -0400

*falls off of chair laughing* Oooh man I soo want to read this! I wish you the best of luck in writing this...it sounds like dear Watson is getting a mite bit frustrated.

Re: Dear Author

annamoseleywrites — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:09:30 -0400

I would so read this. XD

Re: Dear Author

pyrooftheblackparade — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 15:52:22 -0400

Awh, why thank you! :D

Re: Dear Author

annamoseleywrites — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 19:23:30 -0400

Ok, I just had a blast reading this! Haha, sounds like you're going to have one heck of a story and a really fun time NaNoing!

Re: Dear Author

VampireAngel13 — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 22:26:43 -0400

Thanks! XD I hope so!

Re: Dear Author

ilookedinthebox — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 15:36:50 -0500

[quote=TwilightSparkle] Dear TwilightSparkle, WHY THE CRAP AM I PREGNANT?!? YOU COULDN'T HAVE WRITTEN A CONDOM INTO THAT FLASHBACK?! Angrily Yours, Cyrus. [/quote] this had me laughing for like a good minute.

Re: Dear Author

Moisoha — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 06:45:49 -0500

Okay, sorry, I wrote Bainte's and then the other two were begging me to write theirs too. So here we go: Dear K, ... Keep writing. All will end well. Iquai Dear K, I swear it's all Bainte! He's the evil mastermind! I would tell you what was going on, I really would, but he won't even tell me. He made me swear not to tell you. You know I can't break a promise, what kind of King would I be then. Sorry, I really want to tell you, but he made me swear. Dariin. Ah my other characters are so much nicer.

Re: Dear Author

PastExploits — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 13:25:17 -0500

P.S. I should note that I mean to shag my older brother. My twin is not even in the country, and frankly, he looks too much like mom. Good day.

Re: Dear Author

shockvaluecola — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 19:47:08 -0500

Dear Lily, Yeah, don't you fucking love how much abuse these skull things can take? Her brain makes an awesome punching bag. -Joy Stratford.

Re: Dear Author

Angryman — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 02:53:14 -0500

Dear Simon, You were only grazed. Quit your *****in' and get back to your music and wife. I mean, at least you hooked up with Samantha, right? Your Author, Angryman

Re: Dear Author

Angryman — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 02:55:46 -0500

Dear Angryman, I realize that you have a bizarre sense of humor, but I would like to know why it is that I'm appearing in so many of your stories. More importantly, how is it that I went from a male stripper, to a male hooker, to a SWAT sniper? Kind of a random job change in the end, don't you think? Inquisitively Yours, Antoine

Re: Dear Author

Angryman — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 02:58:29 -0500

Dear Antoine, You've seen how poor the economy is recently. It's why you went from your first job to your second. How it is that you got hired as a SWAT sniper is beyond me. You must be a really good shot (that's what she said!). Looking forward to your next career choice. Your semi-friend and wholly author, Angryman

Re: Dear Author

finchgeam — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 14:17:00 -0500

Dear Phoenix, Sorry ... I really am. I don't know I guess I got carried away with writing about your sister and your dad. I just forgot about you okay. But being a writer is like being a single parent of 35-40 children. People are going to be forgotten. But I guess I could've at least have a character mention you, so I'm sorry about that. On the bright side, I'm at least writing about you now. Sincerely, Creator of your Universe

Re: Dear Author

mutewitness — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 11:51:34 -0500

Omg, I do the same thing with the songs! It's such a distraction for me though.