Weird stuff you've overheard

Jazzinsomniac — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 19:02:09 -0600

So, starting this up again since the site relaunch. I think mine would be when my sister was talking to my mom, just a bit ago, she said: "So I was taking a nap... on my floor."

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Sunday — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 20:39:27 -0600

"But then she drew a phone on the banana she gave me for lunch, and I just knew she was the one".

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Swiftflame — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 21:33:14 -0600

"Non-Euclidian carrots!!!" "Just you wait, I'll get you. WITH A SPOON, SO THAT IT TAKES LONGER!" My house produces a lot of odd phrases.

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GallifreyGirl — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 05:06:15 -0600

"Dead people always win staring contests; it's not fair! I should bring my uncle back from the dead…"

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Kiwi-kauri-kid — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 06:47:22 -0600

"What has that got to do with the price of fish?"

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Generalist — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 10:17:08 -0600

On rare occasions I ride some of the high usage, frequent stop routes that go from one end of town to another. I sit in the back of the bus and mind my own business. Things get really interesting when you have people talking to friends about how they just got out of jail and are trying to make connections with other friends.

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Silhouette. — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 11:23:49 -0600

Eeeep! This was my favorite last year. I actually wrote one down with this thread in mind. On a bus, a MAN and his ALSO-MALE FRIEND were having this conversation, and let me just stress that they were dead serious. "I have the unfortunate habit of picking up girls in lesbian bars" "That's actually not so bad. No competition"

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scammer — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 12:40:52 -0600

One day last year, I was walking home from school and I overheard my neighbors talking about sea cucumbers. No lie.

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DragonShade — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 14:35:58 -0600

With my group of friends, I'm always hearing strange things. Last night I had my friend Anna and her husband Donavan over and she and I walked in to Donavan talking on the phone. "No, no. It's not toxic, it just depends on how much she drank." -pause and then eyes gets really wide- "You did what?! Take the cucumber away and don't drop her on her head again!"

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murphyslawyer — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 00:56:47 -0600

Well, I didn't overhear this; I said it. But it's funny. :D "Therefore, why am I still wearing pants?!"

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skatepixie — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 03:33:05 -0600

My friend and I were out to dinner the other night because she had just gotten diagnosed with cancer and needed distraction. The ladies in the next booth were talking about how one of them was on a plane and the engine caught fire and how she was praying not to die and the whole bit. I wonder if they overheard us talking about cancer.

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Lydia_Ember — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 06:01:08 -0600

Once I had the following exchange with a classmate: her: This tastes like poison. me: It's that bad? her: No, it's awesome. It just tastes like poison. O_o

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Sunnyblob — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 19:12:17 -0600

"So her ear was basically a butthole?"

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megaminxwin — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 19:45:45 -0600

'So when did the Second World War start?' 'The 1970's?' 'No... anyone else?' '1942?' 'Close, but not quite. Anyone else have an idea? '1939?' 'Correct.' This happened just a few minutes ago in our history class. It isn't too weird, but it is rather depressing that it took our class three goes to get the starting year of WWII correct.

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Fishwall — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 20:19:01 -0600

"I swear that dog looked like my mother!"

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jblanc — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 01:25:17 -0600

"My mom says I can't date you because you might be my sister!"

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boysloveboys — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 03:06:20 -0600

"Stop touching my eraser penis!"

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Kimber1y — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 10:46:18 -0600

My kids --- My daughter (3) "look I can scratch my ear with my toe!" My son (9) -- "Big deal I can pick my nose with mine"

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rachael.leann — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 14:41:40 -0600

"I don't care about the mating rituals of fish."

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Jazzinsomniac — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 17:56:39 -0600

"Sabrina's boy...acquaintance"

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Chuvak — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 21:58:58 -0600

"He is the official photographer for the city of Austria" Something I overheard at a wedding.... :)

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Swiftflame — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 22:04:28 -0600

"Stop stomping on the Hindus!"

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AnimeUSMC — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 02:16:47 -0600

Cop: Your eyes look a little read, have you been smoking anything? My friend (who actually HAD been smoking...): I dont know officer, but your eyes are lookin a bit glazed. Have you been eating donuts? Yeah... I can't believe he actually said that >_<

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boysloveboys — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 11:10:16 -0600

That's a good one. Ahaha.

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Neke — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 11:13:33 -0600

"Oh, yeah. Their mother fell off a cliff and I need to go to the hospital." -My dad, referring to me and my sister to a family friend he was asking to look after us for a while. We'd known nothing of the incident, so it came as a bit of a shock to us. (This post reminds me so much of deargirlsaboveme. =u= )

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imawesome — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 19:02:36 -0600

"What are you-- a butter homophobe?" Yup, that's my best friend for yah.

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zitheeb — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 23:17:15 -0600

Not really overheard, since this was part of a conversation between me, my older sister (22) and my younger sister (10): "You are not allowed to wear jeggings. All jeggings should be gathered up and burned is a giant bonfire of the f*cking vanities." Overheard quote from my mom: "But if you wanna be the next Michael Jackson, that's you've gotta do!" Then the random: "Mmmm, biology." "I'm gonna marry a squid!" "No! I don't want to know the mechanics of anal sex! Just no!" "I'd like an extra virgin latte with soy." "Well, she's a girl, but she still has all the guy parts, which she likes to put in little dresses sometimes..."

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AnimeUSMC — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 01:00:02 -0600

Yeah... I'm just thankful I wasn't arrested as well! O_O

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Jennie Mars — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 11:52:39 -0600

(conspiratorially) "My wife thinks I'm wearing toe socks!"

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sapphistry — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 12:20:35 -0600

"What is the logic of a cube?" Gotta love being at art school!

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Sebz — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 20:01:22 -0600

These are great! We actually have a website for things like this from my home town: http://overheardinathens.com/

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RedxLuna — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 20:32:17 -0600

"We can kiss and it won't be gay because we'll both have our shirts on." "Did we really just roll around in the compost?"

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Mae 13 — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 21:22:33 -0600

Random strangers having a conversation: "I don't see why you can't just give me the monkey." You do know you're acting like a child about this, don't you? I'm not giving you the monkey, and that's my final word."

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lilly32261 — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 21:41:08 -0600

The first one reminds me of a conversation two of my uncles were having once: "It wasn't gay until you started moving around!" (It was an interesting start to an amazing day)

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loracarol — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 23:01:06 -0600

The cute guy in my communications class: "Real men wear MANLY beards!"

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purty_in_pink — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 23:49:42 -0600

I'm going to decorate my house with a ton of crazy shit when i grow up! Like cocaine, everywhere! -Cocaine isn't a decoration! --I'm picturing you in a fancy mansion with a bunch of creepy portraits of people who aren't related to you. :)

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wombatrider — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 02:30:51 -0600

It's wasn't really memorable dialogue… but once while accompanying my sister to the local public library for a resume printing sesh… there were two men beside the computer my sister was on, surfing some swingers website… and they were going on and on and on about how they wanted to have a threesome. Talking about the girls they were looking at. It was so odd. I was amazed the library would let that happen. I mean… they weren't exactly quiet about what they were doing, and there were many small children about.

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wombatrider — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 02:34:05 -0600

Oh, and last weekend I heard a what had to be 60-some year old woman talking to her gal-pals while walking down the street: "I am dying to read the twilight novels! When I went to the library, though, they had a huge wait-list." She sounded downright heartbroken about the fact she couldn't check it out of the library. Incredibly enthusiastic about reading vamp novels. Like crap-your-depends excited.

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Magpie Ilya — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 04:32:02 -0600

At work this week: "Mom! I'm not afraid - I used the butcher knife to cut bacon!" "Oh, now I know why it's always so blunt when I need it - because you use it to chop wood." And my absolute favourite: I was standing in the bank, and suddenly, behind me, very loudly: "Yeah, sure, I'm just standing in the bank with a gun -!" I turned around veeery slowly... but the guy was just talking on the phone. Guess that was supposed to be sarcastic.

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GreaseLightning — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 11:17:46 -0600

In rehearsal, a girl talking to the director: (it really was a chocolate muffin) "Hey, do you want my muffin?" "That's inappropriate to ask your director." Random Kids: "MY POOP IS GREEN!" "Not the crotch! Don't hit the crotch!" Oh, rehearsals...

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Jacquipuff — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 13:12:41 -0600

I just want to say that this one made me laugh out loud. Good job.

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Jacquipuff — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 13:23:25 -0600

Once when walking home from work, I passed a guy on a cell phone walking in the opposite direction from me. I only managed to hear one sentence of his conversation while I was in earshot: "Yeah, and there was blood EVERYWHERE!" My boyfriend and I had a fun time trying to come up with different scenarios he could have been talking about (like he hit an animal really hard with his car, his girlfriend had a very heavy period, he's really an assassin, etc.).

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PhantomDream — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 16:18:33 -0600

I think I posted this last year, but: "She says to put duct tape on it." "She wants to put duct tape on EVERYTHING!"

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rachum_05 — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 18:34:30 -0600

The phrase 'crap-your-depends excited' will now be a part of my everyday vocabulary. Thank you, I'm practically rolling on the floor laughing at that one.

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Arazia — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 18:35:41 -0600

This isn't really weird, but it's a little strange, at least for me. Walking out of my D block class, I heard "...Yeah, like that's a good way to impress a girl." I turned around to see who it was, only to hear "Shit, Emily heard that!"

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MusicalRaven — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:57:46 -0600

"*Singing* I was a bull frog..."

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GreaseLightning — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 21:17:46 -0600

Guy on the phone at Burger King: "Yeah dude, I failed my drug test! I know... Yeah, they want to get the U.S. Marshalls involved...and they were yelling at me like, 'This isn't the first time!'" I can only imagine...

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coffee-in-teacups — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 21:35:48 -0600

"She put on some Russian music and told me to start dancing!"

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MusicalRaven — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 00:18:58 -0600

On a game my friend was playing. "...gets made out of the blood of hobos who get arrested for vagrency."

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dancer_kirsten — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 06:08:38 -0600

As my brother and I were walking down the main shopping street: "And he had a 150 lbs scrotum!" Nothing more, nothing less. We looked at each other, like "did we just hear that correctly?". Yep, we did. Boy, I really want to know the rest of that conversation.

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PianoPlayer22 — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 06:56:21 -0600

On the bus: "Or if you name your kid Pothead. Then he becomes a chef when he's older and puts pots on his head!" There are a lot of odd conversations on the bus. xD

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thewritingballerina — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 13:41:23 -0600

Ouch.

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Sat, 22 Oct 2011 13:47:48 -0600

I walked down the stairs from my cousin's room and just heard my dad (in a conversation with my mom and aunt) say, "okay, I'm wet," and I was a little weirded out. I tend to have my iPod turned up loud at school and really couldn't care less about what my classmates are saying, so I don't have any more...

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walker13 — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 16:37:49 -0600

My friend chatting with me about yucky days: "i feel like someone replaced my neck with a painful erection. I'm very stiff and sore."

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Mewshiro — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 18:23:58 -0600

During a math club at school, which is usually pretty serious, I happened to come in late and I heard this: "So, tattoes and sleepovers, that sounds fun. I can make a mobius strip out of bagels. I say we all order bagels for the next meeting."

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Silhouette. — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 19:11:10 -0600

Ahem. My dad and my aunt's brother-in-law: "Oh, I haven't seen it. I haven't had internet for a year." "What? No, this video is from '78"! That was probably only hilarious at the time.

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the_irish_one — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 16:31:12 -0600

my office is a great place for these. "this apple is tiny! it's like a child! i can't eat a child!"

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Xrosfire — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 19:41:43 -0600

"I WISH I COULD FIND LITTLE BOYS' PANTS" --very loud woman at thrift store the other day

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Sarahswati — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 17:21:24 -0600

I'm sitting at a Denny's with my sister and there was this group of teenage boys at the table behind me. I heard one of them say, in an urban accent, "My favorite book is The Cat In The Hat!" Maybe I'm weird, but I found the juxtaposition of the titel of the book, the accent, and the fact that they were teenage boys to be funny. :)

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Jazzinsomniac — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 17:35:03 -0600

Well, I didn't really overhear this, as much as it was said directly to me. But my boyfriend found out that Koala bears sleep 22 hours a day, so we were hanging out after school, and he's like "You're my koala bear" Not that funny, but cute in a way

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AlainaintheSky — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 20:53:26 -0600

One day, someone randomly screamed "LESBIANS?!" The next day, someone said: "After that incident, I'm going to be wary about girlfriends..."

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myviolettears — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 01:26:15 -0600

I overheard these today. Like that time you licked my head? You mean penis? (At school, all-girl school)

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Arazia — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 17:10:19 -0600

Not really overheard, because I knew what they were talking about and I was there, but "I'm going to go get some ice cream." "Oh, you mean sex?"

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JustinJans — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 17:56:41 -0600

1970's? I can understand someone saying '42, but the 70's?

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JustinJans — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 17:58:28 -0600

"I've had to pee for 4 hours, but I keep forgetting." Yeah, don't know how you forget something like that.

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Tue, 25 Oct 2011 18:02:53 -0600

One girl in my class suddenly shouted, "YOU DON'T HAVE MY VIRGINITY!" during some quiet conversation she and her friends were having while the teacher was talking... I think her friends were just as confused as the rest of us.

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Coffee8Kristin — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 18:21:38 -0600

This isn't really weird so much as it is stupid but I live in New Jersey and in seventh grade we were going over the map one day and one of my classmates said "Wait were on the atlantic ocean? I always thought we were on the Pacific." 14 years old she was...

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wombatrider — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 01:18:40 -0600

No problemo ;-) I only say it because of the new Depends commercials. Where the confident gentleman winks or whatever at a passing woman. "Hey baby… I'm wearing adult diapers. And I'm ok with that. I'm still smooth, baby."

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britthatsit — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 06:33:16 -0600

Wo~w...

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GuardianOfTheFronds — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 09:05:29 -0600

Talking heads on the news, referring to austerity measures and drastic budget reductions as "taking a haircut". And this thing about "underwater mortgages". When I hear that someone's house is "underwater", my first thought is that a dam broke or something.

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MusicalRaven — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 16:09:58 -0600

I do. I've actually done that before. XD

Bdgbdg — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 20:03:22 -0600

"If I legitly offered you a chicken right now would you accept it?"

Re:

Alais DuBois — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 20:09:02 -0600

/snort

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Alais DuBois — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 20:10:52 -0600

"It's like riding a unicorn. Except it's purple, 300 feet tall and covered in chainsaws." I really have nooooooooo idea.

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arielhoopes — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 20:44:37 -0600

In my history class today discussing World War I: "So, where does Hitler and the Jew thing all play into this?" I just... I mean... like, seriously?!

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Audra Dancer — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 03:16:38 -0600

The feeling of overhearing someone being an idiot... Priceless.

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arielhoopes — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 10:36:50 -0600

Exactly. I felt like a genius after hearing that.

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Jazzinsomniac — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 11:15:40 -0600

Oh dear, no, just no. There is no way that that is okay to not know that that's a completely different war.

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GreaseLightning — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 11:52:27 -0600

"And then I told Abigail Adams, go make me a sammich!"

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HeyGirlsName — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 04:59:17 -0600

Maybe the person's name was Jeremiah? Aw, damn. Now that song is stuck in my head....

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louellena — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 12:37:25 -0600

Overheard sometime in the past year or two on a bus: "I want my children to be like giraffes: long and tall and.... I want my children to see the world for what it is - and fix it."

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Magpie Ilya — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 13:07:47 -0600

Many years ago in History class: "So where was Stalin from?" "Italy?" And in Geography: "What are India and Pakistan arguing over?" "The West Bank?" At least those answers were given with a questioning tone - at least my dear classmates weren't totally sure!

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Magpie Ilya — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 13:08:22 -0600

Just remembered a gem from my botany class: "But how do I make the reindeer puke?"

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Dudekcm321 — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 13:50:01 -0600

Fourth grade boy: "But mom I CAN be Lady Gaga for Halloween!" heard that yesterday when I went costume shopping. yup.

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Reaven — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 15:00:51 -0600

In the bus today; 'Rick, stop it. You can't keep calling me, no, I'm talking, you're listening! You can't keep calling me, saying you're in hospital, that just so wro- you ARE? Omg! What happened?!' O.o Girl at the uni; 'well, if I do my nails right now, I won't be able to make my exam.. like, impossible, you know? So... should I?'

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Liniya — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 15:02:55 -0600

When I was working at a sub shop, I over heard three of my customers talking about fourth degree murder. And how one of them has never heard of it before. I desperately wanted to know why they were discussing the degrees of murder, but I didn't feel it was polite to ask. <.<

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Arazia — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 15:04:26 -0600

"But I don't want to expel him!" It wasn't even a teacher talking...

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Alix-indigo — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 15:46:18 -0600

No Joke: I love you man, i f***ing love you So funny as I'd watched the film like two days earlier!

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adklib — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 16:48:20 -0600

"He had a bible stuffed down his pants." "Which version?" I work at a college. 'Nuff said.

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MusicalRaven — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 19:00:40 -0600

"Why don't we put the trash in my dead pineapple?"

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loracarol — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 02:23:38 -0600

At Shari's during the NaNoWriMo kick-off party, near the college campus: "Only college students celebrate halloween for five days." I don't know, if made me laugh. :D

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pbdq — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 11:51:07 -0600

"I think that the trouble of actually catching a hedgehog and then grinding it into a snortable powder would not really be worth the resulting high."

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comfyhobo — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 12:15:25 -0600

"Everyone's wearing f***ing speedos."

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novia — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 12:37:34 -0600

Someone in my class thought that the revolutinary war ended in 1985.

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Dandelions fly through blue air — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 09:53:39 -0600

"You see invisible smurfts jumping over an invisible dragon in the cafeteria." ...we weren't even near the cafeteria.

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sonneh-starrr — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 10:47:03 -0600

What I heard walking back from class the other day: "And I'm KNOWN for never having an energy drink. That's my thing! And so he gives me this drink and tells me to try it because it's absolutely amazing, so I take a drink...and it's disgusting. I ask him what it is. It was a 4Loko! He ruined me!"

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emmamore — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 23:01:43 -0600

It wouldn't surprise me if something me or my sisters said wound up on a forum like this. Sitting in the union at the uni a few days ago: "77 cents is sexy! Yeah 'cause centavos is really sexy,"

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loracarol — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 22:12:46 -0700

During Soul Caliber 4: "Okay, Okay, I'll stop being Penisy" ...

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HeyGirlsName — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 14:17:14 -0700

One in my English class, as we were talking about analogies: "Wait. . . bagels are made out of bread?!" *headdesk*

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RissaRae — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 04:06:57 -0700

"I cut ju with my mayonnaise!" yes... it was JU. Not YOU... JU. "So yesterday I painted my toes with old liquid eyeliner" Long story. So many many more. I hang out with weirdos, it's entertaining

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Aisling Banrion — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 06:30:34 -0700

"I kick karma in the face!" That was a kid in one of my classes...

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meg_nicholle — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 12:46:39 -0700

Overheard in Wal-Mart walking past a man talking on his cell phone. "I don't know... Just send the Asian guy after him!"

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lionhuntermo — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 17:25:36 -0700

I remember passing a guy singing about how amazing pie is in a really off key tune, but for the life of me, I can't remember it now...

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loracarol — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 22:22:11 -0700

"The spiders are from the devil" during CPR/First Aid. "I have a friend who gives head massaged!" [points at head] "Head!" [Points at *ahem* nether regions] "Not head! Though, I'm sure both would feel good..." My roommate. >_>;;

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Impact_Elite08 — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 22:49:22 -0700

I just wanted to say that I, for one, take naps on my floor all the time. Once I put on all my ski clothes, to test it out before a trip, and it was so warm and comfortable I fell asleep in the hallway on a pile of laundry.

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Alice Majella — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 03:27:47 -0700

I started at the top of the thread and tried to incorporate each one into my nano. But this has well and truly thrown me.

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eowynspen — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 22:39:07 -0700

(That awkward moment when I read this, laugh, then remember that I LIVE in a fancy mansion with creepy portraits of people who aren't related to me)

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shifterous — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 15:55:34 -0700

Seconded. There's just something about the floor... Convenience, for one.

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shifterous — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 15:57:48 -0700

Yeah, my dad was totally a general in that one.

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Magpie Ilya — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 16:05:34 -0700

I don't think I've ever taken a nap on the floor. But I have spent several nights sleeping on carpets (under a cloak). And I almost took a nap in a tent. Inside my living room.

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jen101 — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 18:53:16 -0700

These were from a group of boys in one of my classes: "Women bodybuilders are super hot." "How do you spell Heidi?" And my personal favorite, which I overheard from two girls behind me while walking in the hallway at school: "If you wear a necklace, big knockers show." Yeah. . .I didn't know what to think about that either. :/ haha

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Isabel1993 — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 21:06:42 -0700

From someone right before college finals: "Thank goodness creation is done."

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Viola Alfiere — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 21:36:12 -0700

Between my big brother and my little brother, when they were watching a Schoolhouse Rock video on the American Revolution or something: "Wait, George Washington was a general then? I thought Britain won!" "The American Revolution? Uh, no." "So we lost the Cold War?!"

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Betty Blue — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 11:06:08 -0700

"A woman is weak when she allowes a man to take her from behind; and only the man being fucked from behind is gay." Yeah. Thanks to you, classmate M., now we ALL know when a woman is weak and when a man is gay...

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Christina Huling — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 17:38:06 -0700

This wasn't technically overheard, since my friend said it to me, but I still have no idea what she was talking about. "At least you don't have a floating banana head."

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

foxfang32 — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 22:15:08 -0700

My mom had said something to my brother, I didn't hear what she said but my brother replied saying; "Don't spell at me, my mind is weak and fragile" X3

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Elinde — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 11:57:27 -0700

"I like the number 2." "I know what you mean, kind of curvey, like a swan. I like 5 too." "Yeah, 5s are good, not quite as good as 2 but still pretty snazzy. I hate 7s though." "Urgh, 7s!" "I kind of like them." "What the hell's wrong with you?!" ...Yr12s are weird.

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

mycatduncan — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 12:09:32 -0700

My friend, who was on the swim team, overheard this as she walked past the boy's shower room to get to the girls': "No, you idiot, it's shampoo first and THEN conditioner!" It's now something we randomly bring up.

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Inkling Dreams — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 12:28:05 -0700

"She's mine! I claimed her, I'll pee on her to mark my territory if I have to!" - said when I was a wrestling manager, I fell asleep on the bus and awoke to guys threatening to pee on me. "No, I promise, it's a perfectly legitimate excuse. You go to a Catholic school, how can the teachers not accept that God told you math homework is unnecessary?" - my friend advising another friend of ours, who attended a Catholic high school, on how to not get in trouble for forgetting to do her homework "Just because I don't have one doesn't mean I can't stroke it!" - she was talking about beards... no one believed her "The reason guys like boobs is because boobs look like butts. It's scientifically proven!" - my brother said this the other day while talking on the phone....

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Aiyandra — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 05:10:08 -0700

While on a bus drive with my class: "We should all bring mandarins tomorrow. It would be like a mandarin-peeling orgy!" "Stop! Unborn babies don't cry!" - Said by one guy to a second, who was hugging the first one from behind.

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

GallifreyGirl — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 06:06:43 -0700

Quoth my art teacher: "…and the baby Jesus is like a peanut." Don't ask.

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Steampunk avi8or — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 13:17:10 -0700

Person 1: Did you know Russians hate the Japanese? Person 2: Why? Person 1: Pearl Harbor I think. Facepalm

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Chestergirl28 — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 17:18:57 -0700

"No, honey, I don't think beer is as popular in Morocco." "I'm in Italy- where are you?.... Canada? Why are you in Canada?" (To be fair, I was at Epcot when I heard those) "I meant a bat like the fuzzy brown thing, not the one that hits balls!" quote my English teacher, cue muffled snickers from all 8th grade boys "And then we're going to get married once he can't get in legal trouble for molesting me!"

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Magpie Ilya — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 10:32:55 -0700

While cleaning up my computer, I found several lines I'd written down and saved in random places: "Mornings should be abolished as a matter of principle." "That sounds as if my main character is in a relationship with a squirrel." "We have humans, too. They just don't last long." They're all from write-ins. When we kept meeting in the off season, we sometimes played "Who am I?", and I wrote down these questions: "Am I on underwear?" "Can I be touched?" "Can Legolas defeat me?" "Do I know more than Paris Hilton?" "Do I have hair?" "Am I about soap?" I don't like playing that game myself, but I do love listening to the questions!

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Chestergirl28 — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 14:25:21 -0700

Dude... you may have overheard my friends and I talking. I'm the one that likes 2!!!! My friend (We'll call her LE) would be the one who likes 5 My other friend (LN) loves 7.

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

GallifreyGirl — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 16:47:41 -0700

Girl in my class: "MRS. B., WHAT DOES A HOE LOOK LIKE?! I CAN'T FIND THE HOE!" Cue several minutes of quiet giggles and innuendoes from the rest of the class while she showed the teacher the kid's puzzle book she had been doing. And then, a few minutes later… "WHY IS THAT LITTLE GUY IN THE OTHER LITTLE GUY'S BUTT?!" That one, I can't explain.

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Axael — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 01:24:23 -0700

I have oodles. Working retail and having my sort of friends...things happen. "No, see, thats how I know I'm pregnant!" "Who waxes it? An angel? The wax angel!?" "I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHERE THE WALRUS GOES!" "He looks like Ned Shneebly. School of Rock." "Great, another person I can't keep a straight face around." "Its...Sandwich Day." - said in ominous tones "...Oh god, ____'s working today too." "Don't worry, it was just Cthulu rising from his slumber." "Give them about 30 seconds to clear the pathway, then I'll go in dual wielding a mop and broom, and Fus Ro Dah the coffee aisle. Cause that coffee is stale, and I am the Coffeeborn, and I gotta do something about it." I really did Fus Ro Dah the coffee aisle. And yes...it worked.

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Ell-chan — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 04:19:46 -0700

Me and my friend have weird conversations.... Him: Have you got the kids? Me: Shit! I forgot! Him: Doris is hungry! Me: But I forgot them in the basement! We joke about feeding another friends dog with little kids that live in my basement. "There's a dead badger in my car" "I know. It's mine"

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

xxbvbarmygirlxx — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 04:33:18 -0700

At the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 midnight showing: "Dude I'm so tired, but I'm totally psyched."

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Axael — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 21:31:53 -0700

"They're clear cutting all the donut trees. Donut crisis." "Quarterphobia: the fear of 25-cent coins in large amounts."

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

WritingGeek97 — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 16:31:00 -0700

"Happy birthday to you. Honk. Happy birthday to you. Honk. Happy birthday, dear [name]. Happy birthday to you. Honk. Honk. Honk. Honk."--Dad

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Moonlightwriter — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 21:46:03 -0700

"Son, you haven't lived until you've tickled a marmot." "And then the cockroaches ate their faces off." "Why" "Because they're evil. What else are they supposed to do? Cure cancer?" I love ski lift conversations so much.

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Chestergirl28 — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 08:02:03 -0700

"And I said 'you're such a f***ing w****!" And this is something I witnessed/overheard: I was in the bathroom/girls dressing room at the boys school where I'm doing a play. I open the door to the hallway to find all the guys out there doing this gorilla-esque hooting and chanting and stomping. I promptly closed the door and went back in. One of the other girls then opened the door and said "It's a primitive male mating call! To each other!" And then, there was. "No, Theo. A is the smallest size, D is the largest size. NOW do you understand?" All of this occurred backstage at rehearsals... the price I pay for loving acting.

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

WritingGeek97 — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 11:06:32 -0700

"When you think of Escamillo, think of Inigo Montoya on steriods." That was during the music class that Mom teaches. We were doing Romantic Era opera. XD

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Magpie Ilya — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 07:23:31 -0600

"Geeks. G - E - E - K!" Not so weird, maybe, but a little out of place at medieval dance practise! The dance names are always confusing everyone: "The Siege of Saint what?" "Merlot. That's booze." (Actually, it's St. Malo, but I only found that out when I googled it) "What? A llama called Lancelot?" "No, no, no, the Lama Lancelot." (The dance was really called La Matelotte.) There were plenty of other funny lines that I've forgotten - medieval dance is a treasure trove for weird/funny lines! But I remembered one from a fantasy festival: "I can't drive in a corset!"

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Lydia_Ember — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 17:04:04 -0600

Guy walks into the library late last night. "I have acquired cream cheese." Apparently there was a sale somewhere. Last week, director of said library says, "Hi. I have a hole in my head." She said it was a blister, but still...

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Magpie Ilya — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 14:26:59 -0600

"Then you have to bring boxes full of water." ... my boss's wife. I think we've been talking about boxes too much this week.

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Smsohynerdfighter — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 14:24:13 -0600

"Dude, Pickles, your hair is SO soft." "I know dude. But yours is softer." This went on between to guys... *Facepalm* "Its not healthy for you to eat feet!" My mom yelling at my dog!

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Chestergirl28 — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 17:51:40 -0600

Me and my friends at lunch... P---- "I'm putting butter in this." L---- "Ewwww!" P---- "Whoa! This is REALLY good!" Me: "That looks really good!" L---- "No it doesn't, it looks awful!" Me: "What is awful about putting butter in our cafeteria's chicken a la king?" L---- "LOOK AT IT!" Me: "It's not gross! L---- "Yes it is! Butter?!" Me: "BUTTER IS THE ANSWER TO THE WORLD'S PROBLEMS!!!!" Yeah... not my most intelligent moment...

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Magpie Ilya — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 12:14:57 -0600

Bride, just before the wedding ceremony: "Tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock!" "Hey, am I that drunk? Is that soap?" "It's a rock."

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Laughing-Mockingbird — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 16:55:02 -0600

"This is getting so confusing - see? Tango! - but I think I can figure out what's going on." Said mostly in a calm voice, except for the excited tango bit. "Is that water?" "No, it's...panda fluids." "How do you get the fluids out of the panda?" "You juice it - like with oranges! And then it's screaming and crying - " "No, clearly you tap it." "Like a beer keg?" "Chug, chug, chug!" "One should not chug panda fluids!"

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Cinderpaw — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 19:42:45 -0600

I walk into the kitchen and hear this: "How could you draw on my hottie?" This was my mother. She has a mug with Captain Wentworth on it because she thinks he's... incredibly attractive, to put it lightly. My dad had drawn a moustache on it.

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

almostalice — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 19:25:47 -0600

"Dude, you know what sucks?" "What?" "Everything!" "Do you hear that? Listen. Do you hear that?! That's the sound of bacon being dropped into the pan. Today a child will be born unto us, and his name will be bacon. Do you smell it? Smell it!" "I smell it!" "Everything does not suck."

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Carpe Verba — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 20:43:18 -0600

^ win "You're not reading the Bible: that's Beowulf!" "Oh, that makes sense...."

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

thrilleraddict — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 21:39:52 -0600

This was mostly a bit awkward but still a bit weirdishly funny. Dad-" You're giving off heat, you got a fever? " *feels my forehead* Don't remember my response. Dad-" Maybe you're ovulating. " Me-" Nah, finished that about a week ago. " ( didn't know what else to say!!! *facepalm* )

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

CountryGirl13 — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 06:11:25 -0600

Me and my friend... "But the Mennonite lady, too, has secrets..." The guys in my homeschool class, all at once: "Broooomance!"

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

firelight_cinderbrick — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 10:14:24 -0600

[quote=Swiftflame] "Just you wait, I'll get you. WITH A SPOON, SO THAT IT TAKES LONGER!" [/quote] I wonder if this a reference to the spoon killer video on youtube...

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Buffy871 — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 15:32:34 -0600

Overheard at work from a guy wasted on some drug or another. I work overnight at a Waffle House. He said, "we've been at war with Vietnam for thousands of years. That's a Biblical war!" He then proceeded to insist on cleaning under the cash register for me.

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Septadius — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 19:00:14 -0600

Friend 1: "My wife was killed last night," Friend 2: "That sucks. Did you ever remarry?" (I later found out that they were talking to TES V Skyrim)

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Shiori 4 Phoenix — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 15:50:15 -0600

This one is partially weird and partially pet-peeve-activating: Classmate: I literally DIED!

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Earthsick — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 04:25:35 -0600

More like overread: "The Police Authority Drama" (instead of "The Police Authority in Dalama") titles for stuff jump at me, lol

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

crazygirl9310 — Tue, 01 May 2012 07:44:57 -0600

"So, are Franz Ferdinand and Franz Joseph the same person?" - History of Civilization II (how did you ever make it to college?) And this one I've said on more than one occasion, but it probably would be weird to overhear it: "Stop kiling me!" ^A completely ligitimate thing to yell when the person controling your character on HALO keeps getting her killed or when you're playing and your friend keeps killing you.

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

MusicalRaven — Sat, 05 May 2012 19:20:31 -0600

"It's smells like cats in here. Do you think it smells like cats?" "What does cat smell like?" "You've never smelt a cat?" "Who smells cats?!" "When a person has a cat, they smell cat." ~Woman's bathroom, Walmart.

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

thrilleraddict — Mon, 07 May 2012 12:45:13 -0600

" Why is there an egg under my chair? " Perfectly reasonable explaination for this: Two year old, enough said.

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

crazygirl9310 — Tue, 15 May 2012 11:27:13 -0600

Also, the best way to get your guy friends to stop assassinating you on HALO: "Stop killing my unborn babies!" It got even better when I was playing with my "big brother" and my guy friend in the preistly discernment program and my big brother assassinated me. My friend in the priestly discernment program said "You stabbed her in the womb, what kind of sick bastard stabs a woman in her womb? You should be ashamed of yourself." And that was the end of people assassinating me, now they just hit me with rocket launchers.

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Magpie Ilya — Fri, 18 May 2012 12:40:49 -0600

While waiting for the train today: "I'm half Greek and half Serbian. I have fourteen fathers."

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

Chestergirl28 — Wed, 23 May 2012 08:03:23 -0600

At the salad bar, two guys walk past: " So I said, 'Why on Earth would I wear a sombrero?'" "Hey- it's for the lax game!"

Re: Weird stuff you've overheard

johnny13 — Wed, 23 May 2012 14:45:35 -0600

oh, wow