Does anyone else know how it feels?
Display mode:
Who's online
There are currently 5151 users online.
About | Staff | Help | Terms & Conditions | Codes of Conduct | Privacy Policy
Copyright © 2012 The Office of Letters and Light :: All posted novel excerpts remain copyright their authors.
Does anyone else know how it feels?
Hey guys, my family is moving back to the states from Japan in April, and I was wondering if anyone else knows what it feels like. I mean, I don't really have any friends, but I'm leaving people that I know and that I have come to care for, I am leaving the country that I like and feel comfortable in. I guess that what I am trying to say is that I am depressed. This isn't the first time that we've moved and lost friends and acquaintances, and it won't be the last. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to make it easier? I've tried writing letters and e-mails, but the person on the other end always ends up forgetting about me and ending the communication.
Re: Does anyone else know how it feels?
Lots of people move frequently throughout their early years, most notably military families. You might see if someone in the military lounge has any tips.
(By the time I was 18 I had lived in two countries, three states and one province, and had moved more than a dozen times. My wholly unhelpful advice is: Look forward, not back. :-/ )
Re: Does anyone else know how it feels?
I was an army brat up until I was 10, so I know how hard it is. There is nothing to make things easier. However, social networking makes it easier to stay in contact with people, so if you and any of your friends are on Facebook or Twitter (or any of the others), I'm sure that would help.
Re: Does anyone else know how it feels?
I moved 3 times growing up, at age 7, 11, and 16. The only time it was easy for me was the first time, which makes no sense at all because that was the only time I was moving to a foreign country where I didn't even speak the language...
I'm very shy and it takes me a while to make new friends, but I think what made it much worse the last time I moved than it had to be was that I was super depressed about moving and didn't really make an effort. I realize now that in the first couple of weeks, there were a lot of people who actually did reach out and try to get to know me, but I didn't respond because I was too preoccupied with feeling sorry for myself and missing my old friends. This is the one thing I would go back and change if I could, so I guess my only advice would be to not do that.
And even if you're not feeling up to it, try to get involved with clubs or activities that you're interested in - that's what finally helped me to make friends the following year (just in time to graduate and have to do it all over again in college. Lol.)
Re: Does anyone else know how it feels?
Yes, getting involved in the community does help, it just seems that we don't make friends until it is almost time to leave, and then we lose them.
Re: Does anyone else know how it feels?
I think that happens when you need a lot of time to actually become friends with someone. I moved here two and a half years ago and still don't have more than acquaintances. Some nearly-friends, maybe, but I'm gonna move by the end of the year anyway, so I have to start over again.
That happened to me every time I changed schools. Pre-School to elementary: I was in the same class with one of my friends. Elementary to (academic) high school: two people I knew, one friend stayed with me. And that was when we all stayed in the same area.
Today, after moving several hundred miles away from home, it's pretty much the same. The difference is that today I stay in contact with those I really care about. Via IM, mostly, with some via email. And we meet each time I visit my parents. Well, I guess that's a bit trick when speaking about a USA - Japan distance, but there's always skype or group chats, and if everything fails, we text.
Re: Does anyone else know how it feels?
I've moved about 20 times in my life, once to a new country, and between 2 states in the US. From grades K-12, I attended 9 different schools. I completely understand how it feels.
The good news is, it gets easier, adjusting AND keeping in touch. The older people get, the friendlier and understanding they are. And the older you are, the more freedom you have to explore hobbies and extracurricular activities that will enable you to meet more people that have more things in common with you, so you'll strike up a friendship faster.
Things are a bit easier nowadays to keep in touch, since things are so much more instantaneous now. You can keep in touch with phones, webcam, facebook. Also, the older people get, the more appreciative they are of their friendships, so they are more likely to keep in touch by letters/email.
Good luck! (and take plenty of photos)