Horrible,disrespectful people who are earning themselves a redshirt award!

Okay, so I was just on the bus home, catching up with a friend I haven't seen in about a year when I noticed that the girls in front of me (I say girls, they were about 17ish) decide to start mimick everything that I say with an over the top lisp. (note: Nobody has ever pointed out a noticeable lisp on me and I'm almost 20) I'm not particularly bothered by what they say, as I'm not easily offended, but the fact that I was sitting right there next to them was irritating. As I got off the bus, I was tripped and called a 'retard'. Of course, my patience snapped and I threw a lot of terribly inhuman words at them, told them where to put something, and stormed off the bus. The girls were vaguely familiar, but honestly I was too annoyed to care.
Pretty soon, I might start to feel paranoid enough to not want to catch that bus again. But until then, I'm ANGRY. I'm going to give these girls the most gruesome RedShirt award ever - anyone want to help me with some twisted ideas? :D


(I promise that I'm not usually this messed up!)

Deep breaths, just take deep breaths. They sound like bullies to me, and if you ignore them then maybe they'll leave you alone. Besides, if you take revenge into your own hands, then there will be a feud between you and those girls. Just act as if you don't see them, ignore them completely, they are probably looking for attention and if you give them your notice you are giving them attention.

Don't insult the red shirts! It's not their fault that Kirk liked having a crew of sacrificial ensigns.

Well, I do have some pretty twisted ideas, but posting them might get me arrested, so I could PM you with them. Of course, their all lethal, so I don't think you want that.

*Consults her Poison handbook* Oooo that sounds fun!...Eeeewwwww, awesome! ;)

One of my favourite words in the English language is 'eviscerate'. Driving nails into eyeballs works quite well, or first victims of a horrible new plague (eyeballs melting is a common symptom in post-apocalyptic nightmares). Seen that bit in 'Shaun of the Dead' where the pain-in-the-backside teacher gets ripped apart by zombies - intestines like pasta, very pretty. Having someone flayed, or turning inside out (think salted slug) is also effective. Or being pushed face first into a cauldron of boiling oil and having your face cooked before it slides off your skull (okay, I nicked that from Clive Barker).

It depends on your genre. Having someone keel-hauled works very well in a pirate narrative - I'm never going to write pirates, now, but I did once promise that fate to an avatar of my history teacher. I also once planned a session of character torture in my old school science lab. Bunsen burners, oh what fun! I might still write that, actually.

Also I find that being truly sadistic towards a faceless character - or even one of my MCs - works off a lot of frustration. You don't feel the need to put in physical features/ attributes, you'll know it's them.

I'm with Angryman, besides, it gets worse than that. As in I've seen worse than that and heard worse than that, so yes, it can get worse.

If need be exchange words, but do not retaliate with action.

Or, of course, one could have them charged with assault--that tripping business sounds potentially quite dangerous.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, everyone below the age of 20 needs to be beaten once a week.

My first thought was next time you see them on a bus, pay a hobo to go over and do something hobo-ish to them. What specifically is up to you, you can get ideas from popping hobo into the search box of FML. My only experience with busses was in chicago, so I can't say if you're town's public transit is as hobo-infested as Chi-town, but if it is, it's a useful resource.

Whenver I'm called a retard I make a point of saying that retards would probably be insulted to be classed with me. :o)