You are a young man in a homophobic society. One day your best friend, who was raised in a more accepting, open society, comes out to you and admits he's gay.
The kicker is you are buried fairly deep in the closet. And you have a crush on your best friend.
If I'm at "I know that I'm gay but I don't want anyone else to know": check that we're not about to get walked in on, then say "me too" and jump his bones. Assuming he's receptive to that.
If I'm at "I don't want to be gay, and I'm going to deny it as hard as I can": I'm going to be very conflicted. I'm probably going to panic at the prospect of confronting this issue. I'm going to be torn between my fear of being gay and my feelings for my friend. Maybe I'll be hostile, and refuse to accept what he's telling me, to mask the fact that I'm also gay. Maybe I'll try to understand how he's at peace with being gay, because I wish I could be too. Maybe I'll still make a move on him, but be riddled with self-doubt and shame afterwards.
So then he is likely to be hostile, he's likely to denounce his ex friend who he is likely to see as having betrayed him. At best his ex friend has or will call attention to him. Part of him is going to be thinking about ways to limit the damage. Attacking his ex friend and focusing the attention on him, is one way to prove his loyalty to the group.... (the homophobic society in which he lives)
So maybe you are a better person than some? Or maybe you are less fearful of a homophobic society than others? Or maybe we simply have different understandings of what a real homophobic society actually means? Like all things when it comes to humans there is a wide range of possible responses, some better than others.
Well, it is homophobic but not like Westboro Baptist church homophobic...more like a sickly sacchrine "Now it's only a phase and if you report these feelings to us we'll help you so you can find someone of the opposite sex to love and make babies with..." Which isn't any better than a society akin to the policies of the Westboro church but...yeah. The reason for their apparent homophobia is because they're trying to encourage the breeding of their members.
Hm, I wasn't trying to imply either of the things in your first two sentences at all. I'm just assuming that me and this friend are very close-in which case I'm just avoiding this subject at all costs and pretending I never heard anything.
And I appreciate your answer. Thanks! My MC isn't a particularly violent character himself so he'd probably have more of a reaction like what you said, Malcolm. Thanks again!
Well personally I'd lock the doors, shut the blinds, and jump his bones. But I am completely okay with my own sexuality and frankly unless I lived in a society that would get us killed, I wouldn't even mind being caught that much. I've been attacked for being bi-sexual, but I am who I am and no amount of slamming your fist into my face is going to change that.
However I imagine if I had not yet accepted my own sexuality I would probably freak out. My reaction would probably be to get away, far, far away because even though he is my best friend, he's making me deal with issues I would much rather pretend were not issues at all. Plus depending on exactly how homophobic this society is, I might even argue that it is totally within my best interest to try to distance myself and stop talking to my friend altogether, lest I be caught and get into trouble as well. I might also argue that is for my friend's best interest too, no temptation for him either.
So, your best friend is coming out...
You are a young man in a homophobic society. One day your best friend, who was raised in a more accepting, open society, comes out to you and admits he's gay.
The kicker is you are buried fairly deep in the closet. And you have a crush on your best friend.
How would you react?
Re: So, your best friend is coming out...
Depends on what you mean by deep in the closet.
If I'm at "I know that I'm gay but I don't want anyone else to know": check that we're not about to get walked in on, then say "me too" and jump his bones. Assuming he's receptive to that.
If I'm at "I don't want to be gay, and I'm going to deny it as hard as I can": I'm going to be very conflicted. I'm probably going to panic at the prospect of confronting this issue. I'm going to be torn between my fear of being gay and my feelings for my friend.
Maybe I'll be hostile, and refuse to accept what he's telling me, to mask the fact that I'm also gay. Maybe I'll try to understand how he's at peace with being gay, because I wish I could be too. Maybe I'll still make a move on him, but be riddled with self-doubt and shame afterwards.
Re: So, your best friend is coming out...
The second option. My MC's in denial about his own sexuality and afraid of the consequences of what's going to happen if he's discovered.
Thank you so much! :D
Re: So, your best friend is coming out...
So then he is likely to be hostile, he's likely to denounce his ex friend who he is likely to see as having betrayed him. At best his ex friend has or will call attention to him. Part of him is going to be thinking about ways to limit the damage. Attacking his ex friend and focusing the attention on him, is one way to prove his loyalty to the group.... (the homophobic society in which he lives)
Re: So, your best friend is coming out...
"Homophobic society" changes this question a lot, as does theoretical me being "deeply closeted".
I wouldn't break off the friendship but instead bury my feelings even deeper and avoid the subject as much as possible.
Re: So, your best friend is coming out...
So maybe you are a better person than some? Or maybe you are less fearful of a homophobic society than others? Or maybe we simply have different understandings of what a real homophobic society actually means? Like all things when it comes to humans there is a wide range of possible responses, some better than others.
Re: So, your best friend is coming out...
Well, it is homophobic but not like Westboro Baptist church homophobic...more like a sickly sacchrine "Now it's only a phase and if you report these feelings to us we'll help you so you can find someone of the opposite sex to love and make babies with..." Which isn't any better than a society akin to the policies of the Westboro church but...yeah. The reason for their apparent homophobia is because they're trying to encourage the breeding of their members.
Re: So, your best friend is coming out...
Hm, I wasn't trying to imply either of the things in your first two sentences at all. I'm just assuming that me and this friend are very close-in which case I'm just avoiding this subject at all costs and pretending I never heard anything.
Re: So, your best friend is coming out...
And I appreciate your answer. Thanks! My MC isn't a particularly violent character himself so he'd probably have more of a reaction like what you said, Malcolm. Thanks again!
Re: So, your best friend is coming out...
Well personally I'd lock the doors, shut the blinds, and jump his bones. But I am completely okay with my own sexuality and frankly unless I lived in a society that would get us killed, I wouldn't even mind being caught that much. I've been attacked for being bi-sexual, but I am who I am and no amount of slamming your fist into my face is going to change that.
However I imagine if I had not yet accepted my own sexuality I would probably freak out. My reaction would probably be to get away, far, far away because even though he is my best friend, he's making me deal with issues I would much rather pretend were not issues at all. Plus depending on exactly how homophobic this society is, I might even argue that it is totally within my best interest to try to distance myself and stop talking to my friend altogether, lest I be caught and get into trouble as well. I might also argue that is for my friend's best interest too, no temptation for him either.