Living with OCD? http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204 Aneith What is it like to live with OCD? One of my characters has it and she has a compulsion to count things and struggles with intrusive thoughts (mostly violent). How might this affect her and what else might she struggle with? (I can read the lists of symptoms on the internet. I just find it's more helpful to ask someone who has experienced it since, you know, the lists don't include what it's like to live with it and how it affects daily life.) Mon, 13 Feb 2012 17:20:22 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1137428 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1137428 Itzika I don't have OCD per se, but I have General Anxiety Disorder with OCD tendencies. The OCD part has gotten better recently, but "better" doesn't mean "gone" and I remember the more severe time pretty well. Mostly for me it was germs. I never gave a crap about neatness, but if I touched something that even could be dirty I had to wash my hands--and I had to count the full fifteen seconds. (It was twenty, but my mom told me fifteen was enough, and I never looked it up in case she was lying--it was driving me crazy washing my hands that long.) I still wash my hands three times when I put on my acne meds at night. I don't know if it's OCD or something else, but I hate changing plans, and I hate people springing plans on me last minute. A friend invited me to a party on Saturday, and I was going to go because I couldn't think of a nice way to say no, but I was massively relieved when she changed it to Sunday--and then I didn't go anyway, because I'd already mentally arranged my schedule so that I had Sunday to myself. Intrusive thoughts were a big one. They're not the kind of thing I want to talk about publicly--suffice to say they made me very wary of myself until I found out they were a symptom of OCD. On that note, I still have obsessive thoughts. Once I turn something into a problem, I'll think about it obsessively for up to a week, even after it's been resolved. You can imagine how well my last breakup went. &gt;_&gt; Not kidding--I obsessed for the weeks he didn't even call me, and when he finally did call and we set up a meeting both of us ended up with the false impression the other one wanted to continue the relationship, and I had what I was going to say planned out, and I said it even though I was pretty sure it wasn't the right thing to say, and then I obsessed for days after because I didn't say something I wanted to. Relationships are messy, especially if they veer toward sexual--as in, I won't let it go sexual. That's <em>dirty</em> in my mind. I still do have one compulsion--I have a habit of swinging my feet and tapping my fingers in patterns that I need to complete if I can. I'm past the point where I get anxious if I can't finish, but it bothers me. Mon, 13 Feb 2012 18:03:25 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1137570 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1137570 M.Redd I have OCD. I think the main thing that a lot of people don't understand about OCD is the self-loathing that comes with it. Part of it comes from my version of intrusive thoughts, but some of it also comes from the idea that you hate yourself for being so weak that you can't just say no. That is really the hardest part for me. Mon, 13 Feb 2012 18:13:37 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1137603 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1137603 Itzika Oh, I forgot a part that you reminded me of. The friends I had at in high school (when it was serious) didn't take it seriously AT ALL. I'm pretty tall and I like high heels, and I like touching the top of door frames just because I can. I also don't drink enough water, so I frequently stop at drinking fountains to get a drink. One of my friends, at various points, declared these to be compulsions. I laughed at the time, but it's really not okay. These friends were so used to my acting that way that they didn't take either of my mental disorders seriously. Actually, one of them got upset with me recently for not reading sarcasm over the internet, when I've <em>never</em> been able to read sarcasm well, even in person. That's the kind of friends I used to have. Having supportive friends is important when you have, well, anything, and it's also really freaking hard. Mon, 13 Feb 2012 18:21:49 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1137628 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1137628 vate I grew up in a house full of OCDs. I channel mine into studying. The thing about OCD is: the person who has it doesn't suffer from it. The people around them do. Try to imagine "Why don't you ( something incredibly stupid and pointless )" 300 times a day. That is every 3 minutes, 20 times an hour, for 16 hours, every day. One topic of conversation. one, and only one. all day, every day. The same one topic from each of 5 OCDs The 1969 Z28 Camaro TheloveoftheloweredJaysus. when are you going to get married and give me grandchildren? Why don't you..... there must be some reason. all you have to do is just.... you can afford it. Welllllllll? 6AM to 9PM, all day, every day, 18 years. intrusive violent thoughts. gee, I wonder where that comes from Tue, 14 Feb 2012 06:23:07 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1138997 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1138997 Dav1d Like all things there is a range of responses... Perhaps it is locking the door to the apartment. You have difficulty with being sure you locked the door. You lock the door. Take two steps away from the door, and wonder did you really lock the door TODAY? Or are you simply remembering the last time you went out? So you turn around and go back and check it. :( and then you start to leave. You get a little farther this time, and now wonder in checking if the door was locked, did you unlock it, and forget to relock it? The thing is on one hand you know the door is locked, but on the other hand you are creative enough to come up with all these reasons why that door might be unlocked at the moment. So one more trip back to the door, it really can't hurt to be doubly sure te door is lock can it? And now you are actually on your way, worry free... Of course about now you are wondering if the stove is really off? We wouldn't want that to catch on fire would we? So back you go for one more check... Because going back and checking is much better than wondering if the stove is about to burst into flames until you get back. Of course now we need to recheck the door again.... Or simply arrange for your partner to lock the door and check the stove, because then it won't be your fault if the place burns down, or someone breaks in... Tue, 14 Feb 2012 06:49:13 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1139018 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1139018 Ender Delphiki OCD has 2 parts: Obsession Compulsion Reread these examples and recall as many as you can remember and see if you can identify the obsession (what is causing the stress/anxiety/uncertainty) and the compulsion (the action that must be taken to resolve the obsession). Like all mental disorders, there are varying degrees of how much someone's life is affected. A lot of people (myself included) are not diagnosed obsessive-compulsive, yet experience a degree of the disorder just the same. Tue, 14 Feb 2012 16:54:17 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1140147 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1140147 M.Redd Umm...please try to portray OCD differently in your novel. I for one have a personal policy that I will never force my obsessions onto anyone else. And I have told my roommates (or family, as the case may be). that if I ever do, they have the right to call me out on it. I've been called out on it a couple of times, but when they do call me out, 1) I stop 2) it's super rare in the first place. Obsessing on one topic is not generally a symptom of OCD. In fact, I am very eclectic in my tastes. I am technically a scientist, but I write professionally and creatively, I teach American Civics, I read linguistics books, play piano and violin, and play around in so many different other hobbies. Yes, I am a very successful person with OCD. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy was extremely successful, and I handle it well on my own. In fact, my therapist told me to stop going to therapy because I am quite good at handling it on my own. But, I can promise you that the people with OCD suffer. Even a successful one. Tue, 14 Feb 2012 20:09:30 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1140835 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1140835 Saspirilla This is my mum. I thought she was weird, then I stayed with my nana (her mum) overnight and she did the same thing. When I was home alone (parents on holidays, lucky sods), I found myself doing the same thing. I think this is more a habit than OCD, which is what you also need to consider. When these 'habits' start interfering with daily life, that's when (I think) OCD comes into play. Wed, 15 Feb 2012 03:37:11 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1141332 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1141332 Itzika Yes to the last. People with OCD definitely suffer from it. Wed, 15 Feb 2012 07:42:20 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1141540 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1141540 Aneith Rest assured that I am aware of that and disregarded the incorrect statements above as soon as I read them. Wed, 15 Feb 2012 13:06:49 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1141951 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1141951 aliaswriter There was another OCD thread, you might want to check that out too. It had a lot of responses. Wed, 15 Feb 2012 15:36:46 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1142333 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1142333 aliaswriter ps, I have OCD, and I agree, people don't understand it. It's hard on them, and they get easily annoyed by my tendencies, but it doesn't stop me. Wed, 15 Feb 2012 15:37:55 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1142337 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1142337 pointytilly This, this, <em>this</em>. I'm well aware how irrational it all is, and that only makes it worse. People will try to be "helpful" by pointing out how little sense it makes, and it's like...thanks for reminding me, now I just hate myself more, because I can see myself not only bothering myself, but hurting other people. And yet I can't <em>stop</em>. I've compared OCD at its worst to having a part of one's brain torturing you into obedience on both an emotional and a physical level—stress and panic attacks wear away a body just as well as they do a mind. Trying to resist it makes it worse, in the short term, like it's fighting against your keeping control of your own mind, but the best way to reduce compulsions is often to face them. This is especially sucky combined with depression, because the crushing amounts of effort it takes to do <em>anything</em> makes facing them even harder, and the inability to do so gleefully feeds back into the depression...ugh. If you (OP, that is) have any phobias and know that irrational can't-help-it feeling that dances more on the instinctive flight or fight buttons and can't be easily rationalized through, it's more like that, just applied to a thousand what-if situations regarding compulsions. Intrusive thoughts, in my experience, are the less-understood part of OCD...people might know the compulsions part (usually with a bunch of misconceptions, like "lol if I point out how silly it is I've CURED YOU" or thinking it's just being a bit picky/quirky), they often haven't heard of that half. I didn't know it was part of things for a while either. Most of my current ones are feeding off of self-injury issues. My actual self-injury tendencies are relatively nondestructive (fingernails/skin type things), the intrusive thoughts like to pick up on that and come up with things that are...uh. A lot more destructive. I don't actually want to do any of it. I imagine if your character isn't familiar with that being an OCD type thing, they'll be even more terrified and/or potentially fearing they actually want to (or might do) these things, rather than it being their brain essentially trolling them with nasty thoughts on loop. Knowing what it is helps me a lot, though it's still distressing and distracting. I also form weird associations that I have to try and avoid forming/try and shake, in that I'll be thinking "bad" thoughts while doing something. Nope, gotta do it over. It's now bad too, cue compulsions. So the two can overlap and feed off each other. If you want specifics on any of that/examples or what have you, PM/NaNo Mail me? Thu, 16 Feb 2012 04:31:01 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1143729 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1143729 larri2005 I haven't been diagnosed, but it's often like that for me...I ALWAYS lock the door and turn off the burner...but what if I didn't do it just this one time...? There is an element of reality to this paranoia, though, since I HAVE forgotten to turn off the burner and the pan on the burner has smoked and set off the smoke alarm. But...if I last used the stove 3 hours before I left the apartment, I'd likely know it if the burner was still on. But just in case, I get out the door and go back and check the stove one last time. (If I start checking 5 or 6 times, it will be time to get a formal diagnosis. It's a mild case...for now....) Thu, 16 Feb 2012 08:05:05 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1144000 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/reference-desk/threads/50204?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1144000