I can't write a happy couple.

So, I'm an incurable romantic and think that love is pretty much the solution to all of life's problems. Until yesterday, I was blythely wandering through life considering that this worldview informed all of my writing, and that, sure, my characters do crazy, ardent, dangerous - sometimes even hurtful - things, but they do them for love and that faith in love shone through everything I've ever written. Then, yesterday, my husband made the comment that, "you really can't write a healthy relationship can you."
"Of course I can," I reply, "what about Sophia and Julian? They're made for each other."
"You said, 'I don't know if they're going to stay together'"
"Oh, that was just to cover my back in case people start saying the relationship is abusive because of the whole... Okay, no, that one is a bit messed up. Fair point. But there's Gail and Tom."
"They don't end the book together, though, do they?"
"Well, only 'cos Gail dies. And because she ditches him to protect both of them from... Well, you know. It's complicated. But she really loves him. That's what makes the whole prophecy thing work, that's she's able to feel because of him. And, Rowan, of course. I mean, yeah, she's sleeping with Rowan, too but... " I saw his point. "There's always Siobhan and Riss."

And that's the problem - Siobhan and Riss - my 2010 Nano, the Nano whose plot ran utterly into the ground because Siobhan and Riss got together and then would not get out of bed. I have one couple - ONE couple fall in love with each other in a totally uncomplicated, undoomed way and the whole book that they are in falls apart because there's no drama. When I actually try to write a Romance, the drama that drives there relationship is of the 'mutually destructive and totally unforgivable' type. When it's a subplot, it had to go wrong, or the plot disrails.

He was absolutely right. I am incapable of writing a healthy, happy relationship, for all that it should be easy ('write what you know' and all that). And I thought I wrote romance.

Anyone else? Any tips?

i don't know a whole lot about writing romance. but i would say the first thing you should do is define what you consider to be a healthy relationship. once you get that it should help.

Make problems be external, not internal. Meaning, the world around them is falling apart, not them. Have them be each others' rock during the trials and tribulations. Have them work together, not against each other.

Interesting quandary.

When you're plotting, are you thinking about how the characters' choices will effect the relationship? For me, the central purpose of any scene, excluding the black moment, is to bring the characters closer together, to build the relationship. Those things that drive them apart also have to give them a chance to trust each other.

Hmmm. Thanks for the thoughts.

@aliaswriter when I have external problems, the world brings them together, and then either drives them apart or just destroys them. I think I write a fairly bleak universe; they might be each others' rock, but then someone comes along a smashes that rock for the exigences of the plot. Actually, I also seem to be incapable of writing a mentally balanced character which tends to mean a good dash of pride and some self-destructive tendencies sabotage all their best chances... Yeah, hopeless case, but it does seem like a way of doing it. I am thinking of returning to Siobhan and Riss and working along those lines - they are solid, but everything else falling apart. Except that plot-line does land Siobhan in hospital with a punctured lung and Riss moving halfway across the country, so I'm not sure how that's going to work out.

@Viorey-Linger I think part of my problem is that I don't write Romance, just 'x' genre (normally fantasy or horror) with a strong romantic theme, so their relationships are incidental when I'm plotting - what I focus on is atmosphere, or the spiralling disaster of their existence, or the 'quest' or 'battle' central to the plot. My characters are my focus, but I think a lot about how they would respond and how to drive them to an end point, what happens along the way with love and betrayal just sort of happens. Perhaps I end up with a pretty high injury rate because of that.

Still, something to think about...

Just because they're dysfunctional doesn't mean they can't be happy. ;)