Oh god I can't be funny this fast.

When I started this month, I thought that comedy sci-fi would be the genre for me. Heck, I've written comedy for a few websites and gotten paid for it, but that was mostly nonfiction and the majority of the humor stemmed from the insanity of the 'author' personality I was using.

I need help. I'm really struggling to write humorous, dialogue-rich fiction and especially writing it this fast. I can write a lot in a day, but it's generally 12 different things at once, adding to each as ideas come freely. Doing one project and trying to be remotely witty is just insane to me.

I keep churning stuff out and making markup comments that say, "Rewrite to actually make this funny or at least entertaining." It seems that when I actually think of something that makes me laugh, it's something that I can't use in the novel. And anytime I think I'm in a good flow, I realize that I've just stolen material from someone like Douglas Adams. If it's original and funny, I realize that I've just cheated and had a character soapbox for a while--in essence doing the same old nonfiction comedy by smooshing it into dialogue.

Help. I need advice. Thank you.

Don't worry about it. It doesn't have to be perfect by 50,000. It just needs to exist. It's perfectly valid to go back and make it funny.

i have the same. i'm not funny when i have to think fast.

Just be ridiculous. I don't see why that salmon hat can't talk.

I'm not trying to be funny, but my characters get themselves into the kind of fixes or problems, of their own making, that are funny when they happen to some one else. The witty part remains to be seen.

why don't you try going with purposefully shitty and potentially hilarious?

Some little pieces of advice (my plot has turned too funny by accident):
- Talk about 'universal truths' that are pathetic. Ex) Media is always inflated. No one wants to hear about how a farmer successfully plowed his field just like everyone else.
- Read just a few pages of one of Terry Pratchett's books and you'll be inspired to write with satire and puns. Read a bit of pride and prejudice to be inspired to intelligently and humorously poke fun in conversations.

Yes you can.

You might not write the witty dialogue you want, you might not have the time to add those pivotal details that make something funny.

If you're going to rip off an established author, try to think about the last time a book made you laugh in public, and steal that?

Don't try to do everything just keep words rolling. Even if you just get a situation and you can't find suitably witty dialogue, or you get some dialogue but it doesn't relate to the plot, that's fine, it's all words and it'll all come in handy in the edit.

It's also easier to be funny once you know your characters better and you'll find the gags coming more naturally in the second half.