Humor, Satire & Parody Dares

I came here looking for some dares and couldn't find a one! This forum is looking a little lonely without a good dares thread. I always turn to them when I'm out of ideas or need some quick inspiration. The rules are simple. If you come up with something so ridiculous that you think no one could possibly ever fit it into a rational plot, or maybe something so mad-hatter silly that you wish you could use it but can't, or you come up with a scene involving ninjas, dinosaurs, rocket propelled grenade launchers, [i]and[/i] time travelling super-babies, then post them here with corresponding bonus points for difficulty.

I'll kick it off.

Have a character who has a name with a silent letter in it, like "Jo[i]h[/i]nathan," and have him get really offended when people call him "Jonathan."
Bonus points if he or she also corrects punctuation.
Bonus points and cake if he or she never explains themselves, just repeats back what they said with grammar/letters fixed.

A: "Hey Jonathan."
B: "Excuse me?"
A: "What?"
B: "It's 'Hey, Johnathan.'"
A: "That's what I said!"

That's all I got for now! Can't wait to see some more ideas.

Challenge: Have a character disrupt a police officer on patrol.

10 Bonus Points: The police officer is on a horse.
20 Bonus Points: The character, in addition to his/her disruptions, slaps the horse's butt and send the horse running.
30 Bonus Points: The character gets away with it.

Inspired by the post above:

Have a key moment in your plot interrupted by something mundane, normal and expected. Like a high speed chase interrupted by a traffic jam, or a police car pulling them over. Or someone's quest stopped by a charity volunteer in the street 'Can I have a moment of your time to talk about ----".
Bonus points if most of the characters go along with this without worrying too much.
Double bonus points for having one character who is annoyed and gets progressively moreso until they burst out with a summary of what they were doing and why it's important and could they please get back to SAVING THE WORLD (or whatever).

Have a character who narrates their own life
BP If they're not aware they're doing it
DBP If, because of that, they end up insulting one of your other characters
TBP If the character lets slip something important during the narration which helps your characters

I think I may have taken something similar from someone else before, but this is from one of my novels. (A monkey called Thack, who didn't know who he was, and as a talking monkey was shunned in society.)

Have a character get into a fist fight with a health food mascot.

Have one of the characters shout "STOP!" and make the reader think something really important/crucial just happened, when they were actually shouting at an ice-cream van because they want a cone.

Bonus points if the ice-cream van doesn't stop.
Double bonus points if everyone starts chasing the ice-cream van, including random people who aren't otherwise related to the plot but randomly decided that they needed an ice-cream.
Triple bonus points if the character who shouted at the ice-cream van in the first place finally gets their ice-cream, after chasing the van for a few blocks, and then they drop it almost-immediately afterwards.

Haha, everyone else's are great, I'll try all of these if I can get them in. :)

Here's another one:

Dare: Your character, in an attempt to shut up an annoying and/or evil character, throws something at them and misses.

10 Bonus Points: The target was only a handful of feet away.
20 Bonus Points: The thrown object was elastic, and bounces back and hits the character who threw it instead.
30 Bonus Points: Your character ends up on the ground, and the target laughs so hard at this that they trip and fall on the thrown object.
50 Bonus Points: Your character gets a ticket for littering.

Is it fair to take all of these? I mean, I should be writing my story right?

Eh, who cares, I'm lousy at coming up with gags, the best I have is Mermaids/sirens talking in bad valley-girl accents because it worked well for them in the 80s.

Have a character who summons frogs using the magical spell: "Here froggy, froggy, froggy"

BP if it works
DBP if it summons more frogs than the summoner can handle
TBP if it actually summons pigeons

I have used to froggy spell, but with hamsters.

There must be a room in which the floor is a 3D map of the world.

BP if there's a Sharpie War.
DBP if it accidentally reinacts WW2.
TBP if nobody realizes it until the very end of the story.

Have the debonair, suave, mysterious gentleman in your story, who may or may not be the villain (or is the red herring), or even the potential romantic partner..... have a terrible lisp.

BP if he compensates by never using words with 's.'
DBP if someone finds out anyway.
TBP if he has a deep, dark secret (like owning a puppy-killing factory) that is still seen as less important than the fact that he hid his lisp for years from the main characters.

Any phrases literally happen. Like if someone says, "Curiosity made me do it," then a guy names Curiosity springs out of nowhere and screams that it wasn't his fault.

Have a character break the fourth wall, and then introduce a character, a builder who begins to rebuild the wall as the story continues. He’s the narrator of the rest of the story.

Use the phrase, "No human has passed a Turing test in 150 years..."

Put this randomly into your story:

- Someone goes to a curtain shop (or some other shop) but the curtain shop sells carpets. The guy who goes gets really angry at the person at the pay desk. The person at the pay desk then calls their manager, who then calls their manager, who then calls their manager and so on. The person, in retrospect... should get quite tempermental.

As I stole a dare from above I suppose I should leave one.

Have a character with an obsession with rubber ducks.

BP If this obsession gets in the way of important scenes, when he sees a rubber duck he just HAS to have and gets a little side tracked.
DBP If someone uses his obsession against him, i.e. kidnapping his rubber ducks and holding them for ransom.
TBP if the character with the obsession is otherwise evil and heartless.

Very interesting dares and several may be added or at least modified. For that, I feel I should add something to this wonderful collection.

Dare:
You, the writer comes and interrupts the story with an important announcement.
BP: The important announcement is that you are going to start the next chapter.
DBP: As you write the next chapter during the announcement, you keep changing the opening sentence for the next chapter.
TBP: The characters in the story come to stop the announcement.
QBP: As they come to stop the announcement, they actually start to encourage you to continue it.
With a Cookie: Your doing the announcement against your will, includes being cuffed and pushed to a writing desk, tazered to write, etc.

Have a Character Say "Why YOU-"
* If the character is overweight and male (or male-ish)
** The character reaches out to strangle the person
*** The character accidentally kills the person.
**** The character is supposed to be really good or graceful.
***** The person killed was supposed to be the hero of everyone.

Dare:
Bright green ninja cows
BP: with radioactive axes