Funniest line in your story

Basically, comment with the best/funniest line of your Nano.
It can be dialog or the way you worded a sentence.

Mine would be:


“How much did I drink last night?” Eric said hesitantly.
“Well,” Derik leaned against the wall, “since you both have your pants on, not enough.”

I started a paragraph today with "By the light of Tommy's face..."

Yeah, even with a phosphorescent face that still makes me giggle. Or maybe it's just because I've been writing since 7 pm.

Okay, so after my MC meets the top-secret organization, on the top-secret half floor of a rundown building, and basically gets held captive there for a while and threatened, the guy who's been threatening her turns to her and says,

"Do you need parking validation?"

Quote:
“Absolutely not!” Kit roared. “That’s like trying to tell Doctor Cat he’s not a doctor! It can’t be done and furriness and cuteness will prevail!”

I just had to make a Doctor Cat reference somewhere...I love that comic haha

I wrote a scene in the first chapter about my main character, Junis, sneaking out of her bedroom window to take a spin on her flying whale, Oshen.


A shadow passed in the corner of her eye and Junis quickly snapped her head in its direction. A large stingray was slowly descending. Its flat, grey body was angled down and the rolling fins fluttered along its sides. Junis hunched low in her saddle, whispering to Oshen, “Steady. An enemy is approaching.”


Oshen indifferently flew on, and the stingray passed beside them with only the slightest acknowledgement.


“Coward!" Junis called after it.

"What's worse than being in the middle of nowhere in Maine?!"
"Being in the middle of nowhere Wisconsin?"
"No, because in Wisconsin there's a beautful four laned road that will get you out of there! In the middle of nowhere Maine, it's a two laned road that takes you to the middle of nowhere New Hampshire!"

I have two. c:

Quote:"You're not really the sharpest needle in the haystack, are you?" she stated.

Aha. Yes I am.

Quote:Clara never figured out what irony really was, but knew there were moments where things seemed cynically funny, and guessed that that was what irony was.

The wording is terrible, but I'm not touching it until December. I need some comical relief come that time because I'm definitely going to be stressed. orz

I found another one:

Quote:
They leaned in to read what he had written, excited…until they saw the first line.
"And then, there were ferrets."

Mine's a mixed fan fic on video games and original characters, so that's where the humor lies.

Quote:"All of the-"
"Is that truly essential, whomever you are?" asked Link.
There was silence.
"Thank you."
He walked up to the fallen wizard but, before he could say anything, the mysterious voice said quickly, "All of the enemies have been defeated. Link relized the power of Nayru's Love Sigma."

He's really going to hate that line in my NaNo. That was only the third time I used it.

I'm partial to this from my story "Greenleaf, Vermont was founded in 1791 by settlers from Massachusetts who weren’t particularly good at naming towns."

"Because I can." - the bad guy.

In reference to the MC (Bayard) who doesn't know how to use his one and only weapon:

Daithi placed his tattooed hand over his face and sighed, “We’re doomed.”

This is right after Riley uses a super cheesy pick-up line on Tay, which, by the way, was "If you were an angle, you'd a acute."

She promptly stomped on his foot.
Riley winced and grimaced. "Dude! You're wearing heels!"
"And you're wearing the delusion that one day I'll go out with you. So we're even."

"Who called?"
“Just the President. No biggie.”

She could hardly believe what she was saying, but it turns being cursed by a man with giant wolves for pets really opens you up to the possibility of things like time travel. At that point, he could have said the rainbow really WAS made out of Skittles and she might have almost believed him.

Hmm...I'm not a good judge of my own comedic prowess, so I'll post a couple quotes and let y'all decide.

Context: attempting to climb down from a tree. Everyone is laughing at the protagonist.
"Well, she couldn’t help it if her wayward hair now had pine needles in it and she probably looked like an extremely hungover monkey!"

Context: trying to convince a man that something odd is happening. Said man frequently doles out to teenagers his Glare of Unwarranted Suspicion.
"'Coincidence,' Pumroy repeated, giving her the Glare of Possibly Slightly Warranted Suspicion."

Context: unimportant.
"'I’m thinking. Um—yeah, this will work.' Des said. She took a deep breath, then gripped her hair on both sides of her head and spoke in a despairing voice. 'This is awful! We’re stuck out here, we can’t see anything, we have no food or water or shelter, and every time we try to leave, we end up back in the same place! This couldn’t get any worse!'
Instantly, it started to pour.
Des stared up at the sky. 'No freakin’ way!' she shrieked in delight."

"And then there was her writing; for years she had written romance novels about living people. Now that she was dead (undead, actually), she’d have to completely change everything to meet the expectations of a reader base she had no idea about. Did dead people even read romances about other dead people? She covered her mouth with both her hands, sick at the idea of having to write a sizzling sexcapade of a skeleton and his rotting bride."

I have a terribly dark sense of humor.

"Sorry," April says, "But I've got to dash!" God, she thinks, what was that? Her first witty remark as an outlaw and it's 'sorry, I've got to dash'? Horrible form.

She is least worried about Mae. Mae is quiet, Mae will not maim assorted small mammals.

Lucinda is wary of March. She has freed both Mae and April from their prison, but the boy is still suspicious. Something about his bone structure, she decides. His femurs look particularly dubious, but Lucinda hesitatingly agrees to release him after his fifteenth request.

I am partial to all three of these.

Sorta long, but I just wrote it and fell in love with my characters, maybe it's just because I'm so tired.

Cameron pushed open the doors to the school kitchens.
“They don’t lock the doors?”
“False trust in their students, apparently,” Cameron said, smiling. “Leaves more opportunity for adventure.”
“Adventure being messing around in the kitchen.”
“You’ve got it! See, you’re starting to get the hang of my logic,” he tapped his temple twice before turning to call out for Lana and Gavin.
“Where’d you guys go?” he asked the air.
A cabinet burst open and Gavin came tumbling out onto the floor at the same time as Lana jumped out from behind a shelf of cooking pans. They both pointed sporks at us, Gavin after he sat up in a daze.
“Expelliarmus!” Lana shouted before doubling over with laughter.
“Of course Lana is the one to make the Harry Potter reference,” I said, grabbing a spork from the opened package on the counter nearest me.
“That was a Harry Potter reference?” Gavin asked sounding rather confused.
“Yes, Gavin,” Lana said crossing her arms. “How much you want to bet I’d win if we had a war right here, right now?”
“A lot,” I answered, “considering you are the only one of the four of us that is capable of making Harry Potter spells and enchantments.”
“You have a point there,” she put the tines of the spork between her teeth, crossing her ankles, swaying back and forth, and staring off into space, deep in thought.
“As I always do,” I said haughtily.
Cameron scoffed and I shoved him. He threw an apple at me under hand. I threw it back at him like a baseball with just as much force. It hit him in the back of a head with a thunk.
“Ow. Hey! What was that for?”
I stuck my tongue out at him.
Lana giggled, “That was a hollow thunk.”
“Well, everyone, you’re free to pick on me now,” Cameron pushed his glasses up on his face and swung his head Napoleon Dynamite style. “Gosh.”
“Vote for Pedro,” Gavin said with an accent, climbing to his feet.
“Harry Potter, Napoleon Dynamite, what next?”
We all exchanged glances.
“Hey you guys!” we all called in unison.

I think it might be cliche, but it's still funny. My MFC telling her husband, post-coitally, she's pregnant:


“How did that happen?” he asked.

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “You’re a doctor and a father of two, and you can ask me that after what we just did?”