First person and characters who wouldn't say certain things http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-101/threads/50172 vampyre_smiles In my story, I switch between two view point characters. Sophia is very sheltered/innocent and the worst word she says is darn. Li on the other hand has a pretty dirty mouth. If it's a single swear or string, I just write that he swore, but using certain curse words is just how he talks... Sometimes I have the first character quoting the the other when I'm in her point of view for a scene. But assuming she's just telling the story to the reader, well, she wouldn't be using those swear words even if Li would. So how should I handle that? Mon, 13 Feb 2012 04:18:32 -0600 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-101/threads/50172?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1136148 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-101/threads/50172?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1136148 TheBnf I think that if the innocent character is actually quoting the other, then she should use the curse words. After all, the narrative would be in her head so replaying what he said wouldn't be an issue for her most likely. However, if she's paraphrasing, as in not putting quotation marks around it, then just simply say the message. For example: Li: "What the F--- is this S---?" then it is either exactly like that, or: Li asked in a mildly angry way what was happening Like that. Mon, 13 Feb 2012 05:52:49 -0600 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-101/threads/50172?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1136209 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-101/threads/50172?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1136209 DozyCat "Gosh golly darnit!" said Li, except he didn't. "Li said he wouldn't come with us." I omitted the swear words; mum didn't need to know. Li gave a soliloquy with the fridge and saucepans as audience; the gist of it was that he didn't want mac and cheese for dinner again, but there were lots of words in there that had nothing to do with mac and cheese or dinner at all. It depends on the narrator's voice and how she's quoting him - is she repeating what he said, in conversation, like in the second example, or is she writing the story as they go on their adventure, and writing down what he says? If it's the second case you could just completely omit the swear words in Li's dialogue altogether, as though the narrator has censored him when she's telling her story. The reader will pick up on the disrepency between Li's and the girl's way of showing Li's dialogue, and assume he's swearing but she's not repeating it. Mon, 13 Feb 2012 07:37:24 -0600 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-101/threads/50172?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1136269 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-101/threads/50172?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1136269 larelmian A few suggestions: He swore. He cursed. He muttered profanity. (Yeah, simple, straightforward, and short. We get the idea; moving on.) He called him something I would never say, though I secretly agreed with him. Bad me! Of course, it really all depends on the writing style. Is the character one who will censor others? Perhaps she will ask him not to use those words around her, thus resolving the issue by simply removing it. It can happen. Tue, 14 Feb 2012 23:29:04 -0600 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-101/threads/50172?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1141074 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-101/threads/50172?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1141074 Bookworm140 I don't swear but I'm frequently around others who do. If I'm going to be quoting what someone said, like a boss told me to relay an instruction and the instruction used profanity, I relay a sanitized version of it, and mention that it's sanitized. I don't was to pass on the profanity. "Boss said to take the scrap to the dumpster, but this isn't a quote." or "Boss said you better get the parts done soon, but that isn't a quote, I cleaned it up." Some people who don't cuss come up with some way to get the message across without the cussing. Either they won't quote or they paraphrase. And that person will have the reputation for not cussing, so the listener will understand that it may have been cleaned up. At one point at work another employee walked by me and another worker and said something. I could tell from the tone that what was said wasn't a nice thing, but I didn't hear what was actually said since I have poor hearing. I asked the one I was with what was said and he said the guy "let out a bunch of insults," he didn't quote because he wasn't the type, and I didn't need the details, I knew the speaker. It's not always necessary to use all the profanity that is used by a character, but there might be cases where some level of profanity might be used to get the point across. But you have to consider your audience. If you want to appeal to a wider spectrum of readers, you have to keep the level to their comfort zone. If your audience is to include people who do not cuss, you will have to settle for mentioning that they used "flowery language" instead of using any of the actual words. Personally, I don't read books with a lot of pervasive swearing, but I read some with a little if it's only used to get the character's voice across to me, and not just for the shock value. You can be a bit creative on some things: <em>"What did Joe say to you?" "Let's just say he didn't think my parents were married."</em> The reader will get the message. A person who does not cuss, and who doesn't want himself to be seen as a cusser, will come up with ways to avoid the words. I do, and so would a character who doesn't cuss. And people who cuss know that people like us exist. Hope this helps. Wed, 15 Feb 2012 10:30:45 -0600 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-101/threads/50172?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1141586 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-101/threads/50172?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1141586 vampyre_smiles I was using the suggestion of paraphrasing in the story when Sophia is passing along something Li said to another character. I also use, "he swore" or "he cursed" or similar when it's a swear and he could spout off anything and it wouldn't matter. If I have Sophia clean up things in the narrative and add tags when Li is speaking directly to someone and she's narrating, that almost seems like it would be as annoying to some people as leaving the swearing in would be to others. Or maybe it just annoys me, I don't know. Though if I continue with this story next Nano, it would add to my word count... Wed, 15 Feb 2012 15:46:03 -0600 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-101/threads/50172?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1142053 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-101/threads/50172?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1142053 darlingNib IMO, when Sophia is narrating, reality can't be covered up, including the parts the character finds offensive. When you make a decision to abstain from a behavior that happens frequently IRL, you can't make everyone else abide by your preference. So when she is remembering, or working something out in exposition, shield the cursing with a tag. However, if she and Lin were to have a conversation and Lin curses up a storm, write that out word for word, maybe showing some discomfort on Sophia's part. Censoring everything annoys the reader and makes the character annoying, too, because it seems like they can't handle the world for what it is. Even tho it's fiction ;p I don't curse either (except around my husband when I'm very angry), but I kind of enjoy hearing others curse. Some people have a real flair for it and I think it's hilarious. The Lies of Locke Lamora was an amazing book and there is a lot of cussing in it. My favorite cuss is apes***. I die every time. So I thought I would share that because I don't think you need to rely on the preferences of the audience to make your decision. Wed, 15 Feb 2012 23:09:19 -0600 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-101/threads/50172?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1143300 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-101/threads/50172?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1143300 vate A Christian lady of my acquaintance would say "He blessed me in a most remarkable way", which would convey the message without the details Fri, 17 Feb 2012 10:05:22 -0600 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-101/threads/50172?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1146795 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-101/threads/50172?page=1#forum_thread_comment_1146795