Nano Quackers(for nanoers with mental illness) http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971 restlesslilly Anyone out there? I know we'd been going strong for the past few years. Come on in, pull up a comfy chair, grab a snack. I brought donuts and nachos! Don't mind the squeaky ducks all over the room. Welcome old members and new! Please introduce yourself and tell us about your novel! I'm Cathy. 25. Married mother of 2 little girls. This is my first Nano in years I haven't been pregnant! Going to attempt to win Nano this year, even with a toddler and infant. I was diagnosed years ago with bipolar, ptsd, borderline personality, and anxiety disorder. Struggled for years a lot but finally at a place where I can function mostly normal and take care of my family. This Nano I'm being a rebel. Deciding to write a memoir about my past struggles. I think I'm finally at a place in life where I'm ready for that. So, what about you? Sat, 15 Oct 2011 08:27:19 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_69509 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_69509 sunydaze Hi, I'm Rachelle. I'm 31, and I have bipolar II and anxiety disorders. I've been dealing with mental health issues since I was 15. For the most part, I've been stable for almost 3 years. I live with my fiancee, one of our best friends (the one who introduced us, actually), two dogs, and one cat. It can get pretty hectic in our apartment, but I love the living arrangements. This is my first time doing Nano. I've wanted to for the past few years, but first I was in undergrad, then grad school, and now I can finally write something other than a term paper! My novel is going to be a memoir as well, about my pregnancy and coming to the decision to place my son for adoption. I'm struggling with the language to use, because he's at the age where he wants to know about where he came from, what it was like when he was born, etc. (we have an open adoption), so I'd like for him to be able to read the finished product, but I'd also like it to be something both adoptees and birthparents can read as well, and since I was an adult when I became pregnant, I don't want it to be some YA teen pregnancy book. Sat, 15 Oct 2011 09:51:08 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_70263 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_70263 Strawberry.Suite Quack-quack-quack. Recovering from major depression here! I am doing a heck of a lot better than I was when I first started up NaNo, especially now that I'm in a relationship that doesn't suck and back in school to boot. I still have my down days, but every day I hope to remind myself and others that life is totally awesome, even when it feels like it sucks sometimes. I mean, we live in a world where pygmy marmosets are real. How can that be a bad thing? Sat, 15 Oct 2011 10:21:18 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_70594 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_70594 restlesslilly Welcome! Nano is awesome! Feel free to drop by the Rebels forum too, for us folks who aren't writing fiction. Good luck! I like your book idea. I'm sure your son will love reading it when it's finished. Sun, 16 Oct 2011 10:43:52 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_83146 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_83146 restlesslilly *Quack!* hehe....I agree! Very glad things are starting to look up for you. :) Sun, 16 Oct 2011 10:44:45 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_83151 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_83151 Aneith Hi, I'm Aneith and I'm a borderline (in remission) and an abuse survivor. I also dissociate and suffer from low self esteem, certain schemas/core beliefs, and agoraphobia/anxiety. I often feel like my thoughts are on a completely different track than most people. I am med free since I have a very bad reaction to them. Instead, I learnt and continue to learn skills to deal with my issues. I am currently in a self esteem course. *crosses fingers* I have a two year old boy who I will also be teaching these skills to since pretty much everyone can use them. :) I'm enjoying life for the most part. I still feel like I have a long way to go to get better. That would be ok since I like the journey except I've been stuck at the same place mentally for a few years. I would like to get better self esteem and stop being so afraid of people. It's nice to meet you. Sun, 16 Oct 2011 15:41:50 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_86705 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_86705 Sue-Hooper1979 Hello, I'm Sue, 32 from Wales UK. I'm new to NaNo but not new to the concept, I've just never taken part before. Interesting to read about yous who're writing memoirs - I'm taking a break from writing mine to do NaNo fiction. I've been writing about my mental illnesses for a couple of years and just had my old hospital lawyers give me the A-OK to publish what psychs etc wrote about me. I've worked hard on it but taking a break will be fabulous. I do alot better now. I actually managed to fall pregnant (very, very lucky) and am now mum to Katie. I have a very long history of OCD and anorexia (years of hospitals, psychs, meds, CBT etc) and the end of my memoir is my giving birth etc...so I have a positive ending. Wishing you all oodles of writing luck for NaNo 2011 :) Sue Mon, 17 Oct 2011 08:41:07 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_95555 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_95555 spursbythebeach Hi everyone. I'm 26 and in London. This year has seen me face my biggest struggle with mental illness and I've had to and will have to deal with a lot of triggers. November is going to be a difficult month but I really want to do this. I was diagnosed with Bipolar for about 5 years then this year I moved and deteriorated and got diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder. I find writing a massive help and I think I'm actually going to start writing my autobiography. I've had a very chaotic life and people have been nagging me to write my story for years. I'm currently attending some therapeutic writing courses and they've inspired me to go for it. I think it will be difficult but could help me to finally begin to make sense of/come to terms with what I've been through which I think would make a huge difference to how I manage my mental health. Good luck everyone :-) Mon, 17 Oct 2011 11:13:39 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_97191 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_97191 Gradine Hello! My name is Alex; I'm 26 and live in Humboldt County, California. I've survived depression for well over 10 years, and the last few years I've spent volunteering in mental health advocacy and awareness-raising. This is my second NaNoWriMo; last year I won pretty handily; this year I'm not so confident (I'm working 40 hours a week now; as opposed to last year when I was working about 40 hours less.) This year will also the first major story I've worked on that wasn't primarily about depression (either literally or allegorically), though the majors themes include the cycle of violence, loss and guilt, which are more than just a little bit tangentially related to mental health. I'm excited to get back to the grind; I haven't gotten much chance to write since last year's NaNoWriMo, and this year I want to do more than write 50k words... I want to write a complete novel. Tue, 18 Oct 2011 10:18:19 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_110339 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_110339 PinkCow I feel like I'm a little belated in replying to this, but maybe not? Anyhow, hi everybody! I'm Joelle and I was diagnosed several years ago now with severe OCD. (Also mild depression and generalized anxiety disorder, but the OCD is definitely the worst of it all.) I don't actually write about this at all, but it still affects my NaNo experience--especially when I'd rather be writing than checking the light switches over and over again. Anyway, I just thought I'd stop in and say hi. Looking forward to this year's NaNo! Tue, 18 Oct 2011 18:59:45 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_117836 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_117836 Riyoha Hi! I'm an old hand quacker.....been here since it's first year I think (no, no, don't try and remember me...I was under a different name them ^_^) I'm a paranoid schizophrenic with a side order of ADHD, Depression and transgender...ness! (the transgenderness is something that wasn't mentioned in previous years...it's only very recently I've been able to talk about it....and now I'm on the road to become a girl ^_^) Anyways....I recognized a couple of you, HI LILLY AND SPURS!! ^_^ and HI NEW PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW!! I'm the local lovable failure ^^ Tue, 18 Oct 2011 20:00:24 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_118717 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_118717 Cadaverine I nearly missed this ^-^ Major Depressive Disorder or whatever they're calling it these days. I haven't had a major depressive episode in years though I've had periods of feeling very down. I keep an eye on my symptoms so that it doesn't creep up on me, and I try to stay healthy by exercising and taking St John's Wort when things begin to go downhill. I also have occasional bouts of anxiety and a random anxiety attack now and then. (By the way, if anyone hasn't tried St John's Wort yet and you've had issues with [or don't want to take] prescribed medication, I really do recommend it. It works wonders with few to no side effects. Just talk with your doctor if you're on any other meds and remember it will stop the contraceptive pill from working.) Unfortunately summer's coming up which always makes me feel down, because it's so abominably hot, being stuck inside is frustrating and the sunlight is just too bright. Anyway I'm glad to find people here who... get it, I suppose I could put it. I'm not feeling at my best at the moment so it's nice to have this thread here. Wed, 19 Oct 2011 02:36:00 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_122130 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_122130 rosepetal720 You all sound like lovely people and I'm so glad we have this opportunity to get to know each other better and support one another! I'm a recovered anorexic of 8 years (yay!) and I recovered anxiety/panic attack disorder of 7 years. I've suffered from major depression since I was around 13, and it took a full decade to find a medication that worked for me. During that time, I had about one bad episode a year (no joke; that's like ten percent of my life). I finally discovered Lamitrogene and haven't had a problem in two years! For any of you who are frustrated with the healing process, I offer encouragement; it's long and it sucks, but it does work. Ever since I recovered from anorexia, I've felt a duty to tell my story, but I don't know how. Since my depression is purely chemical -- no abuse or divorce or anything like that -- I don't know what I would focus on. Maybe someday I'll find my way. Until then, I write mostly historical fiction and my book for this year is a retelling of the legend of the Amazon warriors. Wed, 19 Oct 2011 10:49:33 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_127016 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_127016 Mystic Dragon Hihi! I'm back for another year...niceta see familiar names and some new ones, too!! ^^ I'm Nikki...I'm 28 years old, and I have Asperger's Syndrome (high functioning autism), General Anxiety Disorder, and OCD. I see them as both a blessing and a curse, cause if it wasn't for the trouble I had with all of that, I wouldn't have turned to creative outlets such as drawing. Writing, I've been interested in since I was a little kid, but I didn't know I could learn to draw or would be able to draw until I started to to it as a way of dealing with anxiety. On the other hand, they make it hard to find and keep a job. Being unemployed is great for focusing my attention on making a comic or writing (NaNo), but not so great money wise. -_- Lesse...I like helping, just don't ask me any relationship questions, since I have the emotional level of a pre-teen! ^_~ I'll still listen, though! I'm not an auditory learner, but since this is the 'net, I'm a-ok with it! If I can make at least one person smile, I'm happy, so I'm one of the folks that you'll often see acting as a cheerleader and encouraging everyone. ^^ I want to raise awareness of mental issues, and that we aren't to be feared, and we're not psychopathic killers or anything like that through my drawing and writing. I have a couple ideas this NaNo, and one of them ties into promoting equality and tearing down the walls of discrimination against people that don't seem to fit society's standards. Anyways, niceta meet everyone! Thu, 20 Oct 2011 19:47:07 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_150903 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_150903 Cadaverine Are anxiety disorders common with Aspergers? I hope you don't mind me asking - I think I've seen a few people around on the internet now who have both Aspergers and anxiety problems. (Unless... they're all you XD) I find Aspergers and Autism generally so interesting. It's like a different way for a mind to work, and it's wonderful in that sense, but I can imagine it's difficult also, particularly socially. Thu, 20 Oct 2011 20:39:19 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_151561 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_151561 tigerlily515 Another BP'er here - bipolar disorder. I have been episode free for awhile now, and thanks to a doctor who agreed to allow me something besides Lithium......I actually feel creative again (actually, I just feel in general again). Fri, 21 Oct 2011 09:50:54 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_157308 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_157308 Mystic Dragon Doubt they're all me, unless I have clones out there without knowing it. XD I've only met other Aspies on the 'net, so I dunno if it's common. I think that the anxiety definitely comes from having Asperger's, particularly social anxiety and anxiety related to social situations. Usually, large disorders (like autism) have smaller disorders that branch from them. Yea, the social aspects are the hardest...I tend to have odd pauses and tones when I speak (like ending a sentence like a question even though it's not a question, or unusual pauses in random places). On the phone, I call myself "dead air space", since I have even more trouble with those sort of conversations. I don't mind questions; asking a question means that someone is trying to understand something, and that's always a great thing. ^^ Fri, 21 Oct 2011 10:50:48 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_158071 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_158071 CheshireKat Hey everyone, returning Quacker here! This is my 3rd year doing NaNo, and my 3rd year as a Quacker. :) I'm Kat, for those who don't know. I have bipolar disorder, panic disorder with agoraphobia, and ADHD Combined type. I have been previously diagnosed with PTSD, but through a lot of hard work and clawing my way out I officially no longer meet the diagnostic criteria... something I am very proud of! :) Mental health aside, I work in IT support and am in the home stretch of a degree in Psychology. The book that I've been outlining for the past couple of weeks is literary fiction (par for the course for me) and is the story of a woman who, through a series of events, is forced to return to the small town she grew up in and come to terms with the life she lived, the life she left, and the person she became in the process. Anyway, it's nice to see everyone here, old and new. Can't wait to spend all of November frantically writing with you all! Fri, 21 Oct 2011 16:28:00 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_162265 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_162265 restlesslilly Hey all, I'm still here. Just having a stressful few weeks. Sickness of whole family and my first time ever dealing with a sick kid turned into 2 sick kids, cough I had for 2 weeks that finally is mostly gone, and then found out my house somehow got lice...I haven't left my place in almost a month so it wasn't me! But of course since I have the most hair on my head, I had it the worst :( So been treating my hair like crazy(I sat for two hours straight going over my head with a comb. Before then my husband checked my head at least half a dozen times and I made him check after as well several times) We've all been lice-free for days now though and I scrubbed/sprayed/wiped down/bagged up/ and washed everything in my house. Floors/carpets/furniture were all cleaned and sprayed too. We overdrew our bank account partly due to buying the stuff lol. So, I've been going nuts over that. Gonna treat our hair again in a few days to make sure they are gone. Ick! Luckily my kids haven't noticed half of their toys missing. On the positive side: My house is super clean now! Fri, 21 Oct 2011 17:25:27 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_162922 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_162922 Cadaverine When one disorder is often present with another, it's called "co-morbid" :D I thought I'd share because it is such an awesome term. Fri, 21 Oct 2011 18:06:58 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_163403 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_163403 keyjennic Hi, my name is Jennifer and I suffer from diagnosed clinical depression. I have undiagnosed very mild OCD, (which makes it hard to stuff that inner editor in the box) hoarding disorder and overeater disorder. These are very mild, but they flair up from time to time. The depression has been hitting me very hard the past few weeks, but I'm still here. My depression the past few weeks has been caused by my OCD flaring up and the need to be and the house to be perfect. My depression has casued my overeating disorder to flare up also. Such a vicious cycle. Here's to a calm and successful NaNo Fri, 21 Oct 2011 18:59:31 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_164067 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_164067 keyjennic Where are you? Summer is ending here and Fall is starting which has a serious affect on me. I made the joke about needing some sun lamps like they use on snakes and lizards in the pet stores (no offense intended) and if someone could provide a bowl of water, a rock and a log, I'd be happy. Here's hoping your summer is a good one and you feel better. Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:06:29 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_164167 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_164167 likelolwhat Hi all, I'm Kayla, the depressed Aspie. Well, not so depressed anymore, the meds are wonderful for me. I may end up writing a memoir one of these years, but first I want to get my baby (my novel, silly) out. I was originally diagnosed as bipolar, but as I grew up (I was 9 then, starting puberty) and my hormones evened out, I got reevaluated and medicated for Aspergers. The downside is, the same meds that keep me from lashing out right now (I turned frustration into anger) are making it very hard to keep my weight down. The other part of it is genetics, my entire mother's side is full of overeaters. I might have a bit of OCD too, but not enough for me to worry about it too much. I'm monitoring it though. Yes! All for a good NaNo and a good NaNo for all! Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:44:28 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_164670 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_164670 Writerfangirl Hello! I also have a question for you: are Asperger's and high functioning autism the same thing? I first heard of high functioning autism recently. The autism spectrum and creativity seem to go hand in hand. I've seen some autistic people create some stunning things. Like <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1223790/Autistic-artist-draws-18ft-picture-New-York-skyline-memory.html" rel="nofollow">Stephen Wiltshire</a>. I think OCD is actually on the autism spectrum too. And not to mention OCD is an anxiety disorder too. I'm not fond of the word "illness" or even "disorder." These things create a person's perspective and everyone has a differing perspective. I'm fascinated by different perspectives. Fri, 21 Oct 2011 20:51:25 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_165479 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_165479 Writerfangirl Hello all! I'm Jennifer. I have OCD, depression--mostly due to losing my mom last year--and some anxiety. For what is going on with me, I refuse to take medication--due to how one med I took did nothing, one med I took for something not even related exacerbated my OCD (prednisone) and my mom getting all the negative side effects of meds. I've worked through a lot of my OCD consciously and by using breathing techniques. My panic attacks lose their power when I remember to breathe. I think the depression is going to take some therapy, though. Even before my mom died, I began living a sedentary life style. My house is an utter mess and the fact that it is a mess is depressing and I can't always summon the strength to deal with it. I feel like I have more things relating to my mom to let go. She used to be my emotional rock in life and I've hard to learn how to depend on myself to get through my emotional stuff. Fri, 21 Oct 2011 21:04:20 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_165640 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_165640 Cadaverine Have you tried St John's Wort? It is a herbal supplement. Fri, 21 Oct 2011 21:25:31 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_165880 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_165880 gentillylace Hi everybody! I'm Katheryn. It's my third year in NaNo, and either my second or third year as a Quacker. I've been diagnosed with severe major depression with psychotic features and borderline personality disorder (in remission, thank goodness). I used to be diagnosed with PTSD as well, but no longer meet the criteria. (I suppose you can guess I am an abuse survivor, though as abuse goes, it was relatively mild -- but I had a very bad reaction to it.) My mother claims that I have OCD -- e.g., my having to arrange the dishes by type before I wash them -- and I also hoard and overeat. Medication was not very successful with me (Prozac in particular made me feel very anxious and upset) till I found a psychiatrist six years ago who put me on the right combination of meds for me. (By the way, I took St. John's Wort for several months some years before I found the right combination of meds for me. St. John's Wort did not do anything for me -- either good or bad.) It took me a while after that for me to get my creativity back, and when I did, I started participating in NaNo. Sat, 22 Oct 2011 04:18:11 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_168173 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_168173 jess.jess Hi, I'm Jess, and I have depression/general anxiety disorder/social anxiety/disordered eating. Diagnosed with anxiety seven years ago, and it all just went from there, and I've been put on medication for the first time this year. (Lexapro, the wonderful thing. Make me manic half the time and sad the other half, and my short-term memory is shot to hell because of it. I'm not actually sure why I'm still taking the damn things). I'm not really sure what else to say... honestly, I'm coming to terms with the fact that 1/3 of my life has been taken by mental illness, and I'm not sure that it's ever going to go away. On the bright side, I'm going to become a psychiatrist one day because I want to stop others from dealing with all this "crazy". And y'all are inspirational. No, seriously. Being able to get out here and say your truth--it's something I've only learnt to do, and I admire everyone that can, whether it be online or in real life. Sat, 22 Oct 2011 04:32:12 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_168225 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_168225 Aneith I'm off meds too. They were horrible. I'm one of the people for whom meds have a really bad reaction. For example, anti-depressants causing suicidal tendencies and overwhelming pain and depression. Haven't tried St John's Wort. I'm afraid of ingesting anything that could be used to "treat" depression or any other mental illness. I've been feeling much better since I've been off the meds. Sat, 22 Oct 2011 06:04:26 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_168698 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_168698 restlesslilly I don't take meds either. They always just made everything much worse, never better. Been off meds for a few years now and I'm okay. I'm glad for people who get better on them, I just never had anything but bad reactions. I tried St Johns Wort before, it didn't give me bad reactions but it didn't do anything else either. It's not easy, but I believe some people can learn to handle their own mental illnesses without the use of drugs. I had therapy off and on from 2005-2010. The skills I learned in therapy definitely is a major factor in how and why I can function now better than before. Sat, 22 Oct 2011 08:48:46 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_170066 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_170066 restlesslilly Welcome everyone and thank you all sooo much for sharing! I know it can be hard to open up sometimes especially since there is such a stigma on mental illness, but please know you are safe here to talk/chat/vent as much as you may need...and of course discuss our novels! Hello new members and old! (gentillylace, Aneith, Mystic, and person whom is here under new screen name! *waves* I just came up with a title for mine that I really like. I think you fellow Quackers would appreciate it more than anyone else on the board. I got the idea from a screen name I have used in the past, and then thought the rest of it from that. It's a little long, but I like it. Right now my novel's title is: Jaded Chaos: Going Against the Grain in a World that Claims to be Sane Sat, 22 Oct 2011 08:53:35 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_170113 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_170113 CheshireKat Sorry to hear about you losing your mom last year, Jennifer. Losing a parent is never easy on anyone, but when you have underlying mental illness to begin with it can really exacerbate symptoms. I would really encourage you to speak to a therapist about the grief and depression you've been dealing with over the past year since your mom's passing. Sometimes we get mentally "stuck" in grief and it takes professional help to get us out. There's nothing wrong with that... in fact, being able to step out and say, "I need help" shows just how strong and self-aware you are. As an additional benefit, the things you learn in therapy to help you get past your grief will help you in ALL aspects of your mental health and life. You've already shown how responsive you can be to positive training and reinforcement by teaching yourself how to use breathing techniques to manage panic attacks. If you can be that successful in managing your panic attacks with conscious breathing, I have no doubt that you would be able to work through the depression and come to a sense of peace and wellness in the end. Sat, 22 Oct 2011 09:07:23 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_170266 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_170266 Chester.Copperpot Hello everybody! I'm Chester. I've got clinical depression and slight anxiety disorder, but I've been on meds for two years now and that's helped keep it under control, along with cognitive behavioral therapy. Also having a job I love (working at an animal shelter), and getting regular exercise (running) has helped my situation tons! Glad to see everybody for another year! Sat, 22 Oct 2011 10:07:41 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_170941 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_170941 Mystic Dragon lol...quite appropriate, actually. XD Sat, 22 Oct 2011 19:56:23 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_178031 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_178031 Mystic Dragon As far as I know, Asperger's and High Functioning Autism (HFA) are the same thing. Typically, both fall under the category of ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorders). I was confused at first when I heard the various terms; I believe some people just call it HFA, while others call it Asperger's. Means the same thing to me, at least. I know OCD is a branch off of anxiety disorders...didn't know it was related to autism, but I wouldn't be surprised. There are routines in both OCD and autism that makes one nervous when they're broken; I have them, too. Mostly, they're little things, like the order in which I get washed up for bed. Creativity is a biggie...for me, since I can't speak for others, it's because I'm not good at communicating verbally. My words get minced, and I have difficulty getting my point across or expressing my emotions. Thus, I turn to art and writing to do it. I think it's interesting that you call it a perspective instead of an illness (if I'm reading it right...lemme know if not! ^^ ). I've always tried to find adjectives for it for folks that were sensitive to being labeled, but often had trouble...I like your term for it. ^^ Sat, 22 Oct 2011 20:02:51 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_178120 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_178120 Mystic Dragon I think it's great that you don't need to take medication; I've been trying to come off of mine, and it's a pain in the butt. Just as I came off one of them, not too long afterwards, I had a huge "contamination OCD" meltdown, so I was put right back on it. Then, as I was coming off it again, someone died at our dojo (literally, died there...I was there, as well as the rest of the advanced class), and I was put back on the meds once again once the impact of it hit me the next day. -_- I don't know what it's like to lose a family member (besides grandparents), but I had a friend who died of cancer last year that was like that for me; an emotional anchor, who I could always go to even though she had moved to another state years ago. My family is a bit messed up, so my friends just about were my family. So...all I can really say is, you're not alone. 'Specially not here in Quackers! Sat, 22 Oct 2011 20:13:18 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_178272 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_178272 CheshireKat I LOVE your username!! The Goonies is one of my all-time favorite movies. In fact, this may be odd but I remember that I was watching The Goonies on Halloween when I made my NaNoWriMo account 2 years ago. Funny how memory works like that... I can't remember anything of actual importance, but ask me what movie I was watching on Halloween in the year 2009 and I don't have to think twice about it. Sat, 22 Oct 2011 21:14:26 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_178952 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_178952 rosepetal720 Yay from a willingness to answer questions! I wish I had your bravery outside of the net. I think anxiety naturally follows any mental illness -- when your head doesn't work the way you want it to, it's natural to be anxious -- especially if your disorder affects your social life. Sun, 23 Oct 2011 00:22:41 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_180412 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_180412 rosepetal720 That's terrible! I wanted to tear my hair out just hearing you talk about it! (I meant I would pull my hair out from stress, but I see now how in this context, a literal meaning would also be appropriate.) Sun, 23 Oct 2011 00:26:43 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_180437 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_180437 rosepetal720 I'm sorry about your mom. I can't imagine how hard that would be. Fish oil is good too (not flaxseed oil; it does nothing for depression). I agree that therapy works wonders and it's possible to handle mental illnesses without drugs, but I want to put out there that it's not the same as "powering through" on your own. Some people either take meds or do nothing, and there's so much more to do that helps! Sun, 23 Oct 2011 00:32:20 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_180475 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_180475 rosepetal720 Why did you decide to go off medication? I've heard all kinds of reasons, but some people stop just because they think they should, and I never understood, so I was just asking. I found a safe medicine with no side effects, and I have no desire to go off of it ever, ever, ever. Why would I? Sun, 23 Oct 2011 00:35:01 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_180501 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_180501 rosepetal720 When I look back at home much of my life has been taken by mental illness... I stop looking back! ;) It can go away, though, I promise; you just have to find what works for you. Sun, 23 Oct 2011 00:37:51 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_180525 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_180525 rosepetal720 Ooo, I like "Jaded Chaos," and the rest I like too. I still haven't come up with a good title for my Nano book from last year, and it's driving me crazy! I don't know why it bothers me as much as it does. I think without a title, it feels like a series of notes instead of an actual book. *sigh* Maybe it will come to me in a burst of inspiration in the shower or something. Sun, 23 Oct 2011 00:40:25 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_180543 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_180543 rosepetal720 I decided just now that I will always say "mental illness" and never "mental disorder." "Disorder" sounds too permanent; "Illness" sounds temporary. Sun, 23 Oct 2011 00:41:57 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_180556 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_180556 restlesslilly Oh I understand, it drives me nuts when I can't think of a good title. I hope you can come up with something for your novel! Also, thanks glad you like the title :) Sun, 23 Oct 2011 04:22:32 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_181482 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_181482 restlesslilly *like* haha...illness is more accurate IMO. Honestly with people who struggle with mental illness, it's too easy to get caught up in all the labels doctors throw out. I prefer to say "mental illness" now rather than list all the labels/diagnosis I have been given. Sun, 23 Oct 2011 04:24:09 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_181489 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_181489 Cadaverine I don't know... I mean, like it or not my depression is a part of myself. It has given my life texture and made me stronger as a person, and in a way it will always be a part of me even if I never have another episode. I don't mind the permanence. Sometimes I do, of course.... other times I don't know how I would feel without it, or what I would do. Sun, 23 Oct 2011 05:04:42 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_181710 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_181710 CheshireKat I think it has a lot to do with the context in which you are living your life, and how that disorder/illness in particular impacts your life. I have bipolar disorder, and that is permanent. It's not bipolar illness, it is a mood disorder with chronic, reoccurring mood relapses that will most likely be a part of my life for the rest of my life. I would be deluding myself if I thought any differently, and if I denied its permanence then I would be less mentally equipped to fight through a life with bipolar disorder. On the other hand, for someone with a potentially non-permanent condition that can go into complete remission for years or even permanently, then I could totally understand preferring the term "illness" over "disorder" for yourself personally. It's a lot of semantics and you have to decide which one you are most comfortable with. My biggest thing is that I try to never, ever claim the disease - I try very hard not to say "my bipolar disorder" or "my panic attacks" etc. because I don't claim those things as central to me, just like I don't claim asthma as something central to me as a person. I am Kat, I am this person, I am not bipolar disorder. My name is not bipolar disorder, my name is not panic attacks, just like my name is not asthma. I have found that by making that distinct semantic dissociation - choosing to say "the bipolar disorder" or "the panic attacks" instead of MY disorder, I feel more empowered because I am refusing to own those things. They are side dishes, but the person I am is the main course. :) Sun, 23 Oct 2011 05:56:27 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_181967 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_181967 Cadaverine I dunno, I think of it in the same way as I think about my foot or my liver. I say "my" but they aren't defining parts of myself. It's a part of the way my brain functions. Sun, 23 Oct 2011 06:28:18 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_182180 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_182180 CheshireKat I see where you're coming from. My counter-point would be that your liver and foot really ARE physical, tangible, concrete parts of your body. They belong to you, that is quite obviously YOUR foot or YOUR liver. But depression, while of course a very legitimate and real illness/disorder, is also something that you can address in a cognitive-behavioral setting and, in ideal circumstances, make no longer a part of your life. You can't make your foot no longer a part of your life (well I suppose you could, but I don't think you would want to, lol) but you CAN choose to no longer claim depression as yours, but instead make it something you plan on removing from your life, and the sooner you make the decision to say, "That's not mine, I don't claim it" the sooner you are able to take cognitive steps towards disengaging yourself from the cycle of cognitive "traps" that can perpetuate depressive symptoms. Different strokes for different folks, but I went through quite a lot of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and that was by far one of the best things I learned in my time with my therapist. Once I stopped claiming those depressive episodes and panic attacks as "mine", they became more like an enemy that I could equip myself to fight against and defeat, and I started making much greater strides in my progress towards symptom remission. Sun, 23 Oct 2011 10:57:07 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_184694 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_184694 Aneith Personally, I find that description rather terrifying. The idea of one's mental states, thought processes, and emotions not belonging to oneself gives me the shivers. Sun, 23 Oct 2011 11:43:33 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_185263 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_185263 restlesslilly I agree with you CheshireKat. I used to believe depression was a permanent part of me. Something I just had to learn to embrace and accept. But, now I know that isn't true. Depression is something I still suffer from sometimes, but it's no longer a huge driving force in my life anymore. I finally reached a point where my mental illnesses no longer define me nor are they a huge factor I use to describe myself. I think how a person feels about their mental illness depends on where they are in the healing process or current cycle of emotions/illness. Someday I may feel differently again about it all. Depends on what happens in my life. Sun, 23 Oct 2011 13:37:52 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_186718 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_186718 weloveyoujamesarness Hello, I'm Megan. I'm just a girl with an anxiety disorder, though my therapist thinks I may be PTSD. But she has difficulty remembering very much about me from one week to the next, so it's entirely possible she's mistaken. I wish I'd found this group earlier! Sun, 23 Oct 2011 14:57:34 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_187789 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_187789 CheshireKat Hey Megan, welcome to the Quackers! It upset me a little to hear that your therapist has a hard time remembering things about you from one week to the next... might be time to find a new therapist, one who can actually remember what you tell them! Either way, welcome - we won't forget you from one week to the next. :) Sun, 23 Oct 2011 15:40:21 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_188449 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_188449 CheshireKat Lilly, I think you're probably right, it depends on where you are in that stage of healing, recovery, remission, whatever you want to call it. There was certainly a point in my life when I DID consider those mental illnesses that are written down in my medical charts to be a part of me, a descriptive part of me, something that was as essential to who I was as my hand or my foot. But now I realize that while my brain may have produced bipolar disorder, that does not make ME bipolar disorder, nor does it make it "my" bipolar disorder. I don't claim that disorder, it's not something I embrace. I think of it more like a little dragon that follows me at a cautious distance, waiting for me to become vulnerable so it can try to strike again. Will it always follow me? Most likely, yes. But that doesn't make it ME, it just means that it is something that I will deal with from time to time throughout my life. Aneith, what I'm talking about isn't the idea of a person's thought processes, emotions, and mental states not belonging to or being under control of the person - actually, it's the opposite. Those things DO belong to you, they are yours, and as such you can choose to decide what parts you embrace and want to keep, and what parts you don't embrace, don't claim, and want to work to eradicate or at least keep at a manageable distance. So when a person says, "my bipolar disorder" then to me that is akin to saying, "This disorder is mine, I claim it, it is an integral part of me." That is, personally, something I do not want. Some people of course feel differently, and maybe they feel that they have to claim it in order to come to peace with it. But I feel that semantics are important and they are strong, and the way you talk about the illness is in effect mirroring how you are dealing with it - keeping it close to your heart, or fighting it off. Sun, 23 Oct 2011 15:46:13 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_188531 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_188531 bookblather Hi everybody! I'm Kat, and I have clinical depression and chronic anxiety. It's pretty under control, but I never really know when it's going to break out. I'm just glad I have writing; it really is an awesome outlet and a great way to keep myself out of the really bad episodes. Sun, 23 Oct 2011 16:03:45 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_188819 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_188819 weloveyoujamesarness Unfortunately, she's the only one qualified in the area that I can get covered by insurance... long story.... But I'm glad! And thanks! Sun, 23 Oct 2011 16:47:01 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_189411 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_189411 Vyctori Actually they've shown St.John's Wart works just as well as sugar pills. It's entirely faith based. Which is actually pretty amazing if you think about it. Sun, 23 Oct 2011 17:00:31 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_189605 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_189605 Vyctori I've been diagnosed with OCD, ADHD and Asbergers I also had temporary social anxiety and depression when I was younger, I view all these as disorders except for the Aspie-ism which I view as a different order. :p Sun, 23 Oct 2011 17:04:15 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_189670 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_189670 decafmirth Greetings Quackers, I'm Liz. I'm 31 and live in Bristol in the UK. I was diagnosed with cyclothymia (rapid cycling bipolar disorder) and nonspecific anxiety disorder some years back. I was unmedicated for a long while, treating the illness with CBT, supplements, diet and exercise. Unfortunately, I've been stuck in a depression rut for just over two years now (I miss hypomania, despite its downsides) so I am back on the meds. My GP suspects my diagnosis is no longer accurate but he believes our local community mental heath team are unreliable and he fears for my mental health should I have to deal with them. The plan is to wait until I'm back in a safe space before he re-refers me to a shrink. (For non-UK folks, the NHS may be free [for a given value of 'free'] but levels of care vary as wildly as for countries where healthcare costs. In my previous area I had weekly CBT, saw a psychotherapist fortnightly, had monthly meetings with a shrink and had 24-hour telephone support. In this area I have my GP. The rest is up to me.) I'm a NaNoWriMo newbie. My creative side has stagnated so I hope to rekindle it in a structured way. I've planned writing into my routine ready for next month and I'm hoping that the process will be revitalising rather than stressful. I'm aware I've rattled on somewhat but I just want to add how grateful I am to find this group. I'm looking forward to writing with you all. Sun, 23 Oct 2011 17:04:33 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_189676 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_189676 Vyctori I don't like Illness myself it makes me think of places like Arkham and Bedlem, the places they sent the people who had the really hardcore sicknesses. I use different order as I see both positives and negatives in these "disorders" Sun, 23 Oct 2011 17:06:40 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_189700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_189700 Aneith We'll have to agree to disagree because I don't understand. How can you change things that aren't yours? I just don't see that working out. I agree that the way one talks about their illness mirrors how one is dealing with it, but my view is probably the opposite of yours. All the people i've met who don't claim their mental issues as theirs are either abusers, alcoholics and/or drug addicts, or (at best) really annoying people. Basically, the people who blame everyone else for their problems because they refuse to accept that they have a problem. On the other hand, the people I've met who accept their mental issues as theirs are the ones who are working on them and/or are in remission. Sun, 23 Oct 2011 18:18:45 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_190725 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_190725 restlesslilly Welcome all who have posted! Thank you all so much for posting and sharing. Even if we disagree on some things concerning mental illness(disorders etc whatever you wish to call them!) I am so glad we are all here to support and encourage each other during Nano! Sun, 23 Oct 2011 18:42:48 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_191099 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_191099 CheshireKat I think you're misunderstanding what I mean when I talk about "claiming your mental health issues" as yours. I'm trying to think of a way to word this that you will understand. Think about saying, "That's my hand." Yes, it is your hand. Your hand is part of your body, it's a permanent (hopefully!) part of your body, and whether or not you like that hand you are stuck with it forever. There is no changing it, there is not much improving it, it's just your hand. On the other hand (seriously no pun intended but that worked out well) when you say, "my bipolar disorder" it's different, because bipolar disorder isn't a physical thing attached to your body that you cannot change. There is a difference between saying, "I'm going to have depressive episodes for the rest of my life, that's just the way it is" versus saying, "I'm going to battle with bipolar disorder for the rest of my life, but I do not have to just lie down and accept these episodes. I can take medication, engage in therapy, improve my diet, commit to exercise, etc. and decrease the intensity and frequency of those episodes. I'm not claiming the fate of having severe episodes for the rest of my life that I can exert zero control over." One is empowerment - deciding that you have the power to say NO to these illnesses, and to use force and positive change to decrease symptoms and improve functioning. But if you simply say, "yes, that is my illness" then to me it's like saying, "I accept everything that comes with it, and I am powerless to change that." It's funny you say that about alcoholics, drug addicts, etc. because the people I know who are engaged in those behaviors are the ones who see those behaviors as an immutable, permanent part of their functioning. They are the ones who said, "That's MY addiction, that's MY alcoholism, that's just the way I am, can't do anything about it." Sun, 23 Oct 2011 18:47:26 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_191174 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_191174 adorable fluffy kittens Hiiiiiii. Bipolar I. Fun stuff. Quite possibly somewhere on the autism spectrum, but, you know, undiagnosed because I didn't get <em>any</em> mental health care until I was 22, at which point the bipolar disorder had already been raging for over five years. Social anxiety because I seriously DO. NOT. UNDERSTAND. how 'average' people think, which makes it difficult to communicate with them properly. Right now I'm unmedicated, because I live in the U.S., in a state with sorta crappy mental health care, in the county with the crappiest mental health care in the state. I was put on lithium wrong, and since it wasn't working since I wasn't getting anywhere CLOSE to an effective dose, I just plain quit. I'm seriously considering taking a little... erm... inpatient <em>vacation</em> before NaNo starts. Just a little something to get me more balanced than I am, because right now I'm in a bad, bad spot, and I don't just mean Yuma. (Though Yuma really is a bad, bad spot. NEVER EVER COME HERE.) Sun, 23 Oct 2011 20:15:45 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_192363 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_192363 CheshireKat Truth! :) Sun, 23 Oct 2011 20:17:43 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_192376 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_192376 CheshireKat Hey there Kittens, welcome to the Quackers! If you feel that a "vacation" would be the best thing for you right now mental health-wise, then don't hesitate to take one... we'll all be here when you get back. Sorry to hear your access to mental health care is poor, that definitely makes it more difficult to get the proper care that you need. I hope that the inpatient facilities where you are give better care than outpatient providers do. Sun, 23 Oct 2011 20:19:34 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_192406 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_192406 adorable fluffy kittens Thanks for the welcome. :) I've been informed that my outpatient care will more than likely improve if I take the step of going inpatient, because people higher up on the mental health hierarchy will be paying attention to my case at that point. Though, thanks to nearly six years of care, I'm pretty sure I know what I ought to be on for optimum functionality (Lamictal and an as-needed anxiolytic), it's nearly impossible to get any of the outpatient clinics around here to LISTEN. Blaaaaaargh. Sun, 23 Oct 2011 20:37:13 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_192651 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_192651 rachelynn I've been shy all my life, thought I had Social Anxiety when I was 13 years old. School was SO hard for me, I became so anxious, depressed, and sick that I had to quit after 9th grade (in 2004), finished 3 more years of school at home. Have had Agoraphobia/Agoraphobic tendencies. Since 2007 I've been seeing different therapists. I'm dependent on my family to make phone calls and get me things I need away from my house, I mostly just feel safe at church, and some small stores. 2010 was the first year I began to leave my house by myself. I'm surprised at my ability to handle being in a crowd and around people now, I have less of a feeling of people staring or watching me, and just so I don't become trapped. So I've improved some, but it's hard to imagine myself ever being able to be independent. I almost feel like a perpetual kid. And it's pretty much impossible for me to really talk much to anyone, or have friends in person. Sun, 23 Oct 2011 20:42:15 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_192724 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_192724 rachelynn I forgot to mention that I think the world outside is just so overwhelming and unsafe. I also fear death a lot, so much sometimes I think that just walking down the road could kill me, or if not that at least that I would get stuck and never be able to return home or I would get hurt. Sun, 23 Oct 2011 20:46:20 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_192784 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_192784 rachelynn I think writing allows me to express myself more and "talk." I also think it allows me to go places and do things I wouldn't normally be able to do. Helps me escape. I also have this need to tell stories and write. One good thing about being at home a lot, is the amount of time I have... so that helps me in being able to write 50,000 words in a month. Sun, 23 Oct 2011 20:51:57 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_192861 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_192861 Aneith Oh, but you can change your physical body with exercise, nutrition, and medication (for illness). The brain is also a physical part of one's body. Personally, I prefer saying "my disorder" because, to me, it means it is mine and therefore my responsibility. It is my mind and therefore under my control. By "my disorder" I actually mean "the parts of my mind that I want to change," but that takes longer to say. lol I hope you don't mind me. I mean no harm and I am certainly ok with you having your opinion. I'm just a nerd. :) Mon, 24 Oct 2011 03:46:33 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_195784 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_195784 Mystic Dragon Welp, for my anxiety, I don't plan on going off of them...I think the real reason is that I was able to go quite a while off the OCD meds without a problem, so I know that I CAN function without at least those. That, and the price is pretty high. If it's an expense I can live without, I choose "without" in today's economy. Mon, 24 Oct 2011 14:34:20 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_203487 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_203487 Mystic Dragon *waves back* Love the title; we all know the world isn't sane at all. ;p Mon, 24 Oct 2011 14:37:39 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_203536 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_203536 Riyoha I had something I meant to post here....but I forgetted it alllllllll! _^ Is anyone gonna go to any local meets? I want to....but I'm worried as it'll be the first thing I'll be doing publically as a girl ^_^ Mon, 24 Oct 2011 15:57:42 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_204743 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_204743 blissfulrain Hi everyone. I'm 21 and I'm pretty sure I have depression and possibly an anxiety disorder for at least ten years but I haven't been diagnosed yet. I've finally realized and come to terms with this fact and I'm planning to seek help in January when I leave home. My mom's uncomfortable with it cause she doesn't want me to face the kind of labels and stigmas attached to having a mental illness and I think the thought of me having depression scares her. Anyway any advice for someone like me who's about to go seeking professional help? Mon, 24 Oct 2011 16:36:54 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_205348 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_205348 decafmirth I'm planning on going to my local meet. It's at a location where I used to go for a stitchnbitch so I have no location-based anxiety. Hurrah! I'm not far down the road from you, Riyoha, so NM me if you want someone to go with or to be writing buddies or whatever. (Same applies to anyone else in south Wales or the south-west of England. I'm in Bristol.) Mon, 24 Oct 2011 16:44:45 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_205491 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_205491 restlesslilly Sometimes a "vacation" is needed, it's something I have done several times in my life. It helps. Hope you can get to a place of feeling better soon and that your medical care improves as well! Welcome to Quackers! Very glad to have you here :) Mon, 24 Oct 2011 19:36:36 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_208370 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_208370 restlesslilly Just wanna say I relate to what you've typed sooo much! I am the same in a lot of ways. Some days I am okay, but most of the time I am content to just be at home. I can function well enough to care for myself, keep a clean house, and care for my girls...but even though I want to go back to school and work again someday...I am still afraid I might not be able to handle it. Mon, 24 Oct 2011 19:40:09 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_208427 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_208427 restlesslilly Some people judge but it's best to just ignore that. My own family refuses to believe my diagnosis of bipolar because I have always made sure to stay far away from them during the bad times, especially during manic phases or mixed ones. My husband and closest friends are the only ones who have seen me at my worst. It's hard. But it's much better to get help and try to get to a place in life where you can function, think, and live happier than to avoid it, ignore it, and suffer just because a few people might judge and criticize. Good luck to you! Welcome to Quackers! Mon, 24 Oct 2011 19:43:42 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_208488 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_208488 restlesslilly Most likely not, mostly cause there are none super close by to me and I still don't drive. Also because I don't really have much interest in going. I say if you want to go, go! :) Just be yourself and don't worry about what others may think. Mon, 24 Oct 2011 19:45:34 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_208538 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_208538 Mystic Dragon Hrm...but, and this is out of curiosity after reading the discussion, what about something like autism? To be honest, I don't know how the thought process for bipolar disorder works; since I went to a high school with other kids that had mental "disorders" that prevented them/us from going to a "normal" high school, I've seen just about everything under the sun. However, that doesn't mean I know how it works in someone's mind who has it... Anyways, with something like anxiety, I agree; it's not "my" anxiety, it's just something I hafta learn to live with and deal with for my life. Autism, on the other hand...this is "my" Asperger's, because autism is such a wide spectrum. I've met other folks with Asperger's (online, mostly), and heard other stories...some of them are good with auditory information, and horrible with visual information and puzzles. Others (like me) are the opposite. Some people have mental retardation that comes with their autism, while others don't; the hyperfocus that comes with autism is different from person to person (for instance, we're not all super focused on music, or animals; we might have different interests from one another). Some are high functioning and can hold a job, while others that are also high functioning can't. I believe autism is a part of who I am; I see the world differently from how a "normal" 28 year old sees it. If I didn't see it like that, then I wouldn't be "me". On the flip side, I don't believe the anxiety or OCD defines me, or is who I am; and maybe the autism isn't exactly "who" I am, but at least part of who I am. I'm not trying to argue; I remember you from previous NaNo years, and I typically try not to start things, anyways. I just suddenly got to thinking "what about autism, which is so broad" when reading through how the thought process works on whether one can call it "theirs". Pure curiosity that made me respond, really. That, and I like hearing what other people think on issues, especially concerning mental diagnosis. Mon, 24 Oct 2011 20:41:22 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_209454 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_209454 Mystic Dragon Yip, yip! ^^ Mon, 24 Oct 2011 20:42:57 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_209473 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_209473 Mystic Dragon Last year, I went to local meets for my region...it was a BLAST! Mix of boys and girls; I had a lot of fun, and we typically would spend half the time joking around, and half the time word warring with each other. They're nothing to be afraid of (I'm sure other regions are similar in being fun). I'm terrible in social situations, yet I still felt included and found myself contributing to what was going on. I had to borrow my brother's laptop to go, since my hand can't keep up with my brain for writing speed and I only own a dinosaur of a desktop computer, but some people had notebooks, while others had laptops, and we all had fun. Mon, 24 Oct 2011 20:48:33 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_209548 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_209548 blissfulrain Thanks a lot! I've also tried to keep my really bad moments from my mom and majority of friends. I think what really got to her was the fact that I had what I call a break down in front of her and since she herself has to deal with a few anxiety issues I think it has more to do with general worrying about me. She just really wants me to be okay and she's not really aware of how bad it can be for me sometimes. I'm really glad you said it's much better to get help. That's really reassuring. I know I'm making the right decision but it helps to know I'm not alone. And also both of our usernames are adjective + part of nature. :) Tue, 25 Oct 2011 00:49:20 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_211798 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_211798 CheshireKat No I don't mind you at all! I love healthy discussion, sometimes I just beat a point too much because I really enjoy thorough discourse, especially about subjects that I'm passionate about like mental health. :) I get where you're coming from, I think we just disagree on semantic points but the general feeling is the same. Tue, 25 Oct 2011 04:38:29 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_213206 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_213206 CheshireKat Hey Mystic, I remember you too. :) How have you been over the past year? And for me, autism is a little different namely because of the axis it lays on. In the DSM-IV-TR autism spectrum disorders are placed on axis II, personality/developmental disorders, not axis I, clinical disorders. Axis I is home to the "clinical" disorders, the disorders that respond best to treatment, the ones that aren't necessarily considered permanent in all cases (though certainly in some cases they are). Disorders on axis I include and are not limited to depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, DID, etc. Axis II is different though, it houses a somewhat different set of disorders. These tend to be considered more organic, less responsive to treatment, essentially more "permanent" aspects of the individual's functioning. They include all of the personality disorders (histrionic, narcissistic, bordereline, antisocial, etc.), ADHD, and autism spectrum disorders. I think it makes sense to mentally delineate between axis I and axis II because in a sense, autism really IS part of who you are. It's not a disorder that came on abruptly, and it's not one that you can cure or put into remission via medication, therapy, or other lifestyle changes. Autism will ALWAYS be there, and you may find ways to function more effectively despite it but that doesn't change the fact that autism will never "go into remission" so to speak. I have ADHD and I'm not saying they are the same kind of illness at all, but in that particular respect they are similar - my ADHD really *is* my ADHD, it very much shapes the way I function in the world, and it's not something I can effectively treat and eradicate or put into remission, it never goes away. (Caveat: You can medicate ADHD, but as soon as you stop taking the meds the symptoms return, so the medication does not treat ADHD as much as it helps mask the symptoms. I don't take ADHD medication anyway because I have learned to function fairly well without it.) So that is just my personal view on the difference between those kinds of disorders. :) Tue, 25 Oct 2011 04:45:39 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_213256 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_213256 CheshireKat Hey Rachelynn, welcome to the Quackers. Your story sounds very familiar to me, because it is so much like my own at one point. A few years back I was severely agoraphobic. I was terrified to leave my house and go anywhere, even just walk down to the end of the street and back. I didn't even as much as pick up the phone because I was, for inexplicable reasons, afraid to answer the phone and have to talk to somebody. I quit my job, I quit going to school, I stopped seeing my friends, and in a span of 6 months I had gone from an anxious but functioning person to completely non-functioning. I spent a lot of time on the computer, trying to satisfy my craving for social interaction that way, or watching TV. (I think I watched every single episode of Roseanne and Family Matters ever made during that period of time!) What you said about the fear of getting "stuck" and never being able to return home is so, so classic of agoraphobia. That overwhelming fear of the world, fear for your own safety from things you can't exactly pinpoint, that's classic. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist or psychologist to be diagnosed? You sound a lot like you have what I was finally diagnosed with, panic disorder with agoraphobia. I'm telling you all this because there is SO MUCH hope for you. You aren't stuck like this, I promise. I finally got fed up and decided that I was either going to start living a life worth living, or die, and I didn't want to die, so I chose to live a life worth living. I started seeing a psychologist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and it changed my entire life. It took a long time (over a year) and a lot of hard work, but now I'm actually LIVING again. I have a great job, back at school full-time, hang out with my friends several times a week, go to parties, go to church, I have even gone on mini vacations by myself to the beach. :) And I can also do the little things that most people take for granted that I was without for so long, like driving myself to the grocery store, walking around the block with my dog, picking up the phone when it rings, going to the dentist, etc. You really can get your life back, no matter how long this has been going on for, it's never hopeless. I am convinced fully that if I could recover, anyone can, considering how profound my agoraphobia was. I started having panic attacks when I was 5 years old, so I was undoing almost 20 years of ingrained behavioral learning... and I still got better. You can too. Welcome to Quackers, and please, please consider asking your doctor to refer you to a therapist who specializes in CBT so that you can start getting your life back. You deserve it. Tue, 25 Oct 2011 04:57:07 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_213365 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_213365 Elina Trevisan Hello, everyone. I'm Elina. For pretty much as long as I can remember, I've had anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. Earlier this year, it got so bad that I was unable to work and had to quit. Thanks to an awesome therapist, I'm ready to enter the world again. Medication for me has been a struggle. They first tried me on one drug that made me suicidal, then the next one left me a twitching mess. I could barely talk because my jaw, lips, and tongue were not under my control. After that, my doctor told me to never take any SSRIs ever again. Thankfully, we seem to have found a drug that works out just fine. This year is going to be a little different for me, since my region's ML is in a different town (I'm in an elsewhere region) and I think I may have fallen into the role of local coordinator. Not entirely sure how that happened, but I'll run with it. Hopefully it won't trigger my anxiety. We'll see! Tue, 25 Oct 2011 10:28:02 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_216951 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_216951 tigerlily515 This discussion is so interesting - I am sorry now that I didn't check in over the weekend. It was hard for me to really get my mind around having bipolar in some ways...in other ways it sure explained a lot! The two books that I reread over and over are "An Unquiet Mind" and "Touched with Fire." I recommend them highly. Tue, 25 Oct 2011 11:12:22 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_217580 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_217580 Riyoha Are we all ready for the impending NaNo? I'm not...but I think I might be for once ^_^ Tue, 25 Oct 2011 13:59:28 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_220052 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_220052 CheshireKat Hey Blissful, I'm Kat, welcome to the Quackers! I did the same thing you did, I sought mental health treatment when I left for college. My family, despite being a sitting duck for mental illnesses, doesn't "believe" in them. The majority of my family has a very "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality, so if a person is having mental health struggles it is just assumed that they should "work harder" and "buck up" and that's all they need. I am constantly amazed when I look around and see so many of my family members with depression, anxiety disorders, alcoholism, drug addictions, PTSD, and bipolar disorder, but they all continue to blame it on other things - they think of it as a "family curse" and just keep their heads down and do their best to plow through life and ignore their illnesses as much as possible. Admitting that they have a mental illness would be tantamount to admitting "defeat" as far as they are concerned. As a result, some of them have ended up in and out of rehab, jail, homeless, etc. But that's beside the point. My advice to you is to completely ignore whatever your family's feelings are about mental illness, because their attitudes will not help you. Your mom is uncomfortable with the idea of her beloved child having a mental illness, and that is understandable - no parent wants the person they have birthed, raised, and loved to have such any kind of illness, much less something with as much stigma as mental illness has. It probably makes her feel like she has failed you as a parent, and she really does want the best for you. But if you deny yourself the treatment you need because of your mother's fear of stigma and labels, then you are condemning yourself to a lifetime of unnecessary struggle. It would of course be best to have your mom supporting you in your quest for treatment, but if she can't get in the boat then she'll just have to get left behind as far as that goes. You may want to consider writing your mom a letter explaining that you understand where she's coming from - that she loves you, she doesn't want you to be labeled, she is saddened by the fact that you are depressed - but that you absolutely must seek help in order to get better. Let her know that you need this help, and that you are not ashamed of depression because it is nothing to be ashamed of, and that you would really appreciate her support and understanding as you continue to seek treatment. If she can get behind that and be your cheerleader, that is awesome. If not... well, you tried, that's all you can do. You don't NEED your mom's permission, acceptance, or support to get help for depression, but it would be nice to have. It took my mom a long time to come around to the fact that I was severely mentally ill, but she finally did. I gave her a lot of reading material about bipolar disorder after my diagnosis, and at first she ignored it - "You DO NOT have bipolar disorder, you're not crazy" she kept insisting. But finally, after a few weeks, she gave me a call and said, "I read those things you sent me, about bipolar disorder... and I guess you're right, now that I read about it, it makes sense. I didn't realize what you were really going through. I'm sorry." It was the first time in my life my mother had EVER apologized to me about anything regarding mental illness, and it stands as one of the best moments in our relationship. Parents can come around eventually, if you give them the right education and some time to digest it. Not all parents will, but many do. Good luck! Tue, 25 Oct 2011 14:46:50 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_220848 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_220848 gentillylace I think I am ready. Can't wait for NaNo to start! (Though I will have to, of course.) Tue, 25 Oct 2011 19:18:26 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_224119 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_224119 likelolwhat I'll get back to you; right now I'm trying to build a time machine. *tinkers* Darn, still not November... Tue, 25 Oct 2011 22:39:22 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_225435 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_225435 restlesslilly Besides changing what I plan to write last minute cause I suddenly became bored with my memoir idea? Yeah sure. I have my computer, keyboard, and idea. That's all I ever have. Planning doesn't work for me Wed, 26 Oct 2011 04:59:43 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_227751 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_227751 tigerlily515 I just have this vague, nebulous wall of words floating around waiting to run over me on November 1. It's like impending doom or something. Haha Wed, 26 Oct 2011 09:13:07 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_230642 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_230642 setthetable hi quackers. It's good to find a place where I can be out and open and not hide. My laundry list is: BP2, PTSD with vivid flashbacks and depression. Who I am is Me. Imaginative, curious, and willing to try new things. I. personally, do have a medication regime. For me, I can say it works until it doesn't, then I know it's time to try something else. But this is just what I say for me. But enough about that, it is cool and windy, the leaves are making mysterious noises out side my window and the clouds are shaped like dreams. I feel I must outline one character. So.. till my next visit, be well, be strong, be fierce in your imaginings. s Wed, 26 Oct 2011 09:28:08 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_230835 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_230835 Mystic Dragon Hrm...I didn't know that there were different axises and categories. Makes sense, though... Thankies for explaining it! ^^ Good to see you again! Welp, not "see", since it's the 'net', but...ah, same difference... XD Wed, 26 Oct 2011 10:10:43 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_231553 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_231553 Mystic Dragon Welp, my characters finally told me their names, and have started to develop personalities...so, I'm almost all set! I just need to come up with three more puzzles for them to solve...maybe four, since one of them I came up with turned out to be a little more challenging than I had expected it to, which means I need to come up with another easier puzzle, instead. Wed, 26 Oct 2011 10:14:13 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_231600 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_231600 Mikita5510 not sure if im crackers or just crumbs but i have PPD(which my NANO is about) and anxiety both which I am on meds for my dd has AD/HD which does not help me at all i was doing good until a month ago when my older sister got herself into major trouble and i took over as older sister then i was worse than ever before now I am at my lowest and I have taken the world on my shoulders again and my shoulders are not big enough for the world and i am slowly cracking up. :( now my17 month old son has to have tubes in his ears while my head knows its an easy surgery my heart and anxiety are freaking me out so am i welcome in crackers or should i go toss myself into the garbage bin cause im just the crumbs? Wed, 26 Oct 2011 10:51:57 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_232202 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_232202 Writing_Fast I relate to so much of what you said! I have struggled with Socical Anxiety and things like going to school and work since about the same age as you. I was home schooled most of high school and when I started college I started with online classes. I have been in college for about 3 years and I am just barely attending classes face to face. I also have Agoraphobia tendencies, some days it's hard to leave the house or do something as simple as going to the store. I hardly make phone calls or talk to people on the phone because of those feelings as well. I don't think I have had a close friend since about grade school, it's almost impossible to really have friends in person. Wed, 26 Oct 2011 11:04:12 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_232398 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_232398 Writing_Fast I have struggled with things like depression and anxiety for most of my life. I'm 22 now and just started going to therapy for these issues. I'm taking advantage of my therapy that my school offers and I am now in individual therapy and group therapy. IT was incredibly hard to bring myself to seek help, I had just thought about seeking help for about 10-12 months before I actually went to therapy. It's incredibly challenging and scary, I know how it is to be in that position. My best advise is to seek a therapist and make the plunge and seek the help you need. It's never going to get easier and it's never going to go away. And I have to say that as much as I was not looking forward to going to therapy or talking about things that I have left alone for a REALLy long time, therapy has actually really been helping and it was not as bad as I had imagined at all. Wed, 26 Oct 2011 11:07:21 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_232442 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_232442 Writing_Fast Hi everyone. I'm Alyssa, 22 and I have dealt with depression/social anxiety/general anxiety/self-harm for about 8 years. although I think I have always had anxiety issues from the time I was really young. When I was younger though, everyone thought I was just shy and blamed my actions on that. I think that my parents are actually starting to face that I'm not just shy and something else is going on. When I was younger my mom used to tell me I would just "grow out of it". I'm now almost 23 and not growing out of it. I just recently started going to therapy provided by my school. I am in individual therapy and group therapy now for the past month or so. I have to say, going into it I was not looking forward to it at all. I didn't want to go to therapy or talk about these things I have pretty much been ignoring for years. But I did and it is going better then I had imagined. The therapist I am seeing is actually really great and she's helping me to see things a little bit differently, although it is really hard to pull myself out of this depression. I still struggle daily with getting out of bed and forcing myself to do those tasks that have to be done. Wed, 26 Oct 2011 11:12:33 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_232547 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_232547 CheshireKat Am I ready? I think so. Is my life ready to make room for NaNo? Absolutely not. I just got home from a 12 hour day between work and school, nearly fell asleep over my dinner, and I'm still supposed to turn around and go back to the hospital to visit my grandfather. I'm way too emotionally wiped to go there right now though, I really don't think I can handle it. I have been trying to get my school assignments finished ahead of time so that I will have less to do during the month of November, but so far that hasn't worked out so well... damn ADHD. I can barely get things done on time, much less ahead of time! Wed, 26 Oct 2011 16:38:18 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_238040 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_238040 David John Wellman Checking in. Quack quack. I suffer from major depression with psychotic features -- that is, I often feel very bad, and the voices in my head tell me that this is right and proper. I also suffer from dysthemia, which I would think is redundant, but no, it's a separate thing. And to top that off, major anxiety and panic disorder. I've lived with these things most of my mature life, but only sporadically got treatment for them until a couple years ago -- right around this time of year, in fact, right before nano -- when I had a rather severe nervous breakdown. I have been recovering ever since, and am accepting the fact that, like an alcoholic, I always will be. Certainly the good folks I met at last year's nano helped me (hey Minnesotans!), and were nice enough that I was able to be out of my apartment at write-ins for a few hours at a time. Today I can not only improve upon that, but have started doing a bit of work at home and planning for an actual career in writing. It's tough. Very tough sometimes. Like now, at 4:30 in the morning when I've had the day from hell and tomorrow won't be much better and it's so close to November and I should be in the zone but I'm not so much and there are so many distractions and this is getting to be a long run-on sentence but that's okay except it's not it shows no sign of stopping so I'm just going to stop it here in the midd *wave* Thu, 27 Oct 2011 02:27:24 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_244459 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_244459 David John Wellman I hasten to add; right now, at 4:30 in the morning, finding this thread has made me feel better. It's funny what life throws your way when you really need it the most. In this case, it threw you guys. Thank you all. And enjoy your flight. Thu, 27 Oct 2011 02:30:50 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_244484 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_244484 krminnj Quack! I was reluctant to post here because I was afraid to admit my problems to a bunch of strangers. But seeing so many of you being open and honest convinced me that I should. I have been on mediication for depression since I was eight years old (I am now 29). Depression has pretty much plagued me ever since then. I started to also have panic attacks and anxiety problems after my mom died a few years ago. I have been hospitalized twice, once after my dad died when I was 15, and once last year. I am happy to report that I am doing a lot better now. Things are starting to look up for the first time in a very long time. So I want to let all of you who are struggling out there know that even those of you who feel that your problems will last forever, there is still hope. I, for one, can't wait for NaNo to start. My novel idea is inspired by my struggles with mental illness. Anyone else using their own lives as inspriation? Happy NaNoing, and everybody hang in there. Thu, 27 Oct 2011 03:42:39 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_244850 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_244850 Nolo Quack-quack! I'm a 22 year old schizophrenic from Vancouver, BC. I was first diagnosed when I was 18 and in high school. I'm in university now, slowly plodding my way through an accounting degree. I live with my mom still. I'm hoping this will be my third win for Nano. Thu, 27 Oct 2011 04:36:35 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_245152 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_245152 restlesslilly You are very welcome to be here! Sorry to hear of the stresses you are facing. PPD is hard, I have been there. Glad to have you with us though, please stick around :) Thu, 27 Oct 2011 09:01:36 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_247828 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_247828 restlesslilly Welcome! Glad you are here Thu, 27 Oct 2011 09:02:10 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_247833 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_247833 restlesslilly I am glad therapy is helping, always good to have a good therapist! Things will get easier. Just keep trying, don't give up. It won't always be such a struggle. Very glad to have you here with us, thank you for sharing with us. Thu, 27 Oct 2011 09:04:50 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_247864 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_247864 Mikita5510 i am going to write a book for NANO about my struggles with PPD.. how I feel every day how its tough even getting out of bed some days, how I cry for no reason and I cant seem to stop even when I want to. how when im stressed out it gets worse. how along with the PPD, insomnia and anxiety come skipping along just to really screw with me.. and the depression gets worse and how nobody but those who have been there know you just cant will it away by putting on a happy face until it goes away.. Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:16:54 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_250650 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_250650 Mikita5510 by the way WOOF WOOF i hate to quack i am afraid one day I may quack up( ok that was a very poor attempt at a joke) Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:17:46 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_250665 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_250665 em_hum Hi, fellow head cases! Anxiety/panic/depression on and off and emetophobic (look it up, it's a ridiculous &amp; hilarious phobia, unless you have it.) Since... forever. I am mostly good, but still recovering from post-partum with my 3rd child who was born in Feb &amp; had some complications at birth (all is 100% now) I had a slight burst of mania last month which has burnt me out a bit. I am hoping to recover before the starting gun goes off. (in... 4... days...8... hours and.... OMG.) Thu, 27 Oct 2011 13:17:06 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_251579 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_251579 mandiiminx Hey all (: Checking in so I can find this thread later. Will share! Thu, 27 Oct 2011 16:21:16 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_254327 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_254327 CheshireKat Hey Krminnj, welcome to the Quackers! I'm glad to hear that you're doing a lot better now than you have been in the past, that is always a welcome achievement. :) I am using part of my own life as inspiration for my novel, in a sense. My protagonist has to deal with a lot of family troubles, and the heavy burdens she has to carry for them become too much. I can identify with that, as much as I love my family, because I have been through so much pain and loss and struggling with them. She struggles with wanting to stay and support her family, even though it is more than she (or any single human being) could or should ever bear... or leaving them behind and living a life for herself, a life she deserves, a life full of change and fear and risk, but ultimately, a life of achievement for herself that she never could have achieved if she had been locked down in that small-town life forever. It is a similar struggle that I have had (and in many ways still have). Thu, 27 Oct 2011 17:50:09 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_255424 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_255424 CheshireKat Hey Em, I totally understand what you mean about emetophobia, it is something I have dealt with for most of my life as well. Therapy has helped me pretty considerably, although I still become extremely panicked whenever I feel nauseous or dizzy like I am about to throw up. But the coping mechanisms I have learned in therapy help a lot, and I am to the point where I am able to manage those panic attacks and work my way through them. What is NOT helping right now is that I have some kind of undiagnosed gastrointestinal issue that makes me nauseous after almost everything I eat. It's been going on literally for over a year now, and the doctors have still not been able to diagnose it, although they think now that it is most likely a gall bladder issue. I go back to GI next week to have a different doctor give their opinion and see if they concur about the gall bladder. If so, it will probably have to be removed. Fine by me as long as I don't have to feel this sick every time I eat! Thu, 27 Oct 2011 17:52:41 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_255458 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_255458 Mikita5510 woof woof does anyone here wanna be my writing buddy?? i really need someone who knows what Im going through to kick me in the butt sometimes? i really want to do this but I am afraid my fear may keep me back. for me this is not just a 50k challenge anymore the story I am doing is going to feel like I am bareing my soul to the world and that is going to make me very hesitant to do it so I will need someone behind me other than that nasty voice I hear telling me "yes you can do it" I promise not to yell at you if you yell at me i will need prodding sometimes and maybe we can send each other a kind word or two Thu, 27 Oct 2011 18:40:50 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_256094 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_256094 em_hum UGH. Terrible. I hope you figure that out. Mystery ailments seem to plague those of us with anxiety and I don't think it is all hypochondria. I think the stress of anxiety messes with our immune systems, too. Anyway, I am mostly okay, also. I was much worse as a teen and in my early 20's. Only thing that drives me nuts is parents who let their barfy, diarrhea kids go to school and infect everyone else. I have 3 kids, so flu season is always nerve-wracking. Fri, 28 Oct 2011 12:22:14 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_267281 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_267281 restlesslilly Hey everyone! Mikita5510 has an idea of fellow quackers adding each other as buddies to send notes of encouragement, which I think is a great idea to kind of extend our support for each other a bit. Once they get the buddies thing up and working(so far my page says it's "coming soon" and will no doubt be up and working by the 1st) everyone can feel free to add me I will be glad to check in to see how you're doing and offer encouragement. It's always helpful to get as much support as we can during Nano, so if you'd like a bit of extra support outside of this thread the writing buddy idea is another option. I am so glad to have you all here to help and support each other. Hope everyone is doing well during these last few pre-nanoing days! Fri, 28 Oct 2011 12:29:22 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_267404 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_267404 Riyoha I don't post here enough ^_^ But yeah, moving out of my parents into a supported accomodation place Monday, also gonna get a more girly haircut and some slightly girly clothes (I'm gonna ease into the whole becoming a girl slowly...to make it easy on me and the others living there ^_^) Also, I think I've developed the ultimate writing system for NaNo...just need to check some facts ^_^ Fri, 28 Oct 2011 12:52:29 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_267792 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_267792 restlesslilly Sounds like you've got some positive things going on, hope everything goes well with your move and with easing into your new changes in life! :) Fri, 28 Oct 2011 15:08:13 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_270034 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_270034 CheshireKat Thank you, I hope so too. I've noticed that as well, many people with anxiety disorders tend to be more prone to either be frequently sick, or to be "sick" with something the doctors can't pin. I am not putting sick in quotations because it's pure hypochondria, but rather because I believe it's a sort of mind-body sickness that I hasn't been adequately diagnosed yet. I think there is a true physical illness out there, a kind of adrenal/immune exhaustion, that has not been officially recognized yet but is borne out of the physical strain that anxiety puts on our bodies. I know that during periods of time when I'm having more frequent panic attacks, I find myself also to be more tired, prone to indigestion/nausea, physically achey, and generally just more wiped out and prone to colds and minor infections than usual. It's as if my very bodily systems are worn out from the anxiety and are suffering as a result. Fri, 28 Oct 2011 17:31:54 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_272013 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_272013 CheshireKat That sounds like a great idea, I will definitely be adding any of the Quackers who want to be buddies once the feature is live! This forum is a great place for support but sometimes it's nice to get a personal message directed straight at you that says, "You're doing a great job, keep it up." Fri, 28 Oct 2011 17:34:16 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_272044 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_272044 CheshireKat I was reading a series of articles today in the New York Times that I really loved. The series is called "Lives Restored: Managing Severe Mental Illness" and so far it is 3 different articles (with a 4th one coming soon), each one chronicling the lives of individuals coping with severe mental illness and not just living, but thriving despite their conditions. I found the articles to be really well-written and inspiring, and wanted to share them with you guys before we set out to conquer our 50k word goals. Here is one of my favorite quotes from the series so far: "No one knows how many people with severe mental illness live what appear to be normal, successful lives, because such people are not in the habit of announcing themselves. They are too busy juggling responsibilities, paying the bills, studying, raising families — all while weathering gusts of dark emotions or delusions that would quickly overwhelm almost anyone else." And here is the link to the articles, starting with the first in the series. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did! http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/23/health/23lives.html?_r=1&amp;pagewanted=1&amp;ref=health Fri, 28 Oct 2011 17:38:46 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_272112 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_272112 Mikita5510 writing buddy thingy is up.. if anyone wants to add me feel Fri, 28 Oct 2011 17:43:51 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_272187 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_272187 blissfulrain HI Kat. Thanks for the advice. I'll definitely think of using the letter idea. I think that'll be a really good way for me to communicate with her. Thanks again for sharing your experience with me. Fri, 28 Oct 2011 22:59:17 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_276396 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_276396 blissfulrain Thanks for sharing that with me. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who has had depression in their childhood and is just going into therapy for it. For me the biggest thing that stood between me and therapy was recognizing and admitting I had a mental illness. Since it had been going on for so long I always doubted whether or not anything was wrong at all and that I was just overreacting. I'm also glad that you mentioned that therapy isn't as bad as people imagine and that it does help. That is really reassuring. Fri, 28 Oct 2011 23:44:52 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_276815 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_276815 restlesslilly Glad the buddy feature is working today. Everyone can feel free to add me. I'm facing some major stress today and am pretty distracted. Feeling terrified and sick. But I'm sure it will all work out...somehow. I really could use Nano as a distraction right about now. Maybe I'll do the unthinkable and actually sit down and do some planning/outlining for my novel. Ha. Sat, 29 Oct 2011 05:16:43 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_278971 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_278971 Aneith Stress does cause a lot of physical symptoms. (I'm also not meaning hypochondria although that would also cause stress.) Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:47:29 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_280444 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_280444 Aneith I'm just wondering... how many people here are also abuse survivors? And how many of us have psych problems that were caused by it? I'm a quacker because of mine, but it is possible I would have been odd regardless. I think it's literally the root of all evil. :P Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:50:03 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_280481 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_280481 restlesslilly *raises hand* Mental illness runs in my family but the main reason for my quackerness I think is due to struggles healing from a history of abuse and rape. I was in complete despair and psychosis for years. It's only been the past 2 years I've been able to function enough to handle life. I still have issues stemming from my past and I have to work every day to keep my emotions and mood swings in check, but I think my mental illnesses are more environmental than anything. Otherwise how else could I function without meds so well currently? Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:56:30 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_280559 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_280559 restlesslilly FYI all, I'm mostly okay now. The crisis has been averted I think. I hope! haha. Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:57:17 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_280568 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_280568 Aneith Oh good! *hugs* Sorry I'm not good at comforting words, but I do give hugs. Sat, 29 Oct 2011 07:59:25 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_280601 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_280601 CheshireKat Also a survivor here. Mental illness runs strongly in my family, so I think I probably would have dealt with some level of disorder either way, but I know it was made worse by what I went through. I ended up being diagnosed with PTSD 13 years after the event, and spent a year in intensive therapy working through it. Now I no longer meet the diagnostic criteria for PTSD, and I can confidently say that it does not control my life anymore the way it used to. But regardless of how much therapy I have, there is still a very biological, hard-wired "offness" about me that I don't think anything could have prevented. I was just made this way, for whatever reason. The only thing that brings me even close to the middle is a good mood stabilizer - without one, I'm all over the place. All of the diet, exercise, meditation, therapy, and healthy relationships in the world cannot stop a manic or depressive episode from happening... they just do. Only medication has been able to act as an anchor for me to keep me from drifting too far from shore, so to speak. Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:42:32 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_281190 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_281190 Mikita5510 im not abuse sufferer but i have always had depression issues i was also trying to deal with an alcoholic step mom who had 3 daughters who I was essentially raising, and I started to trying to kill myself at age 13 and very nearly succeed at 18. have been very self concious about my weight since 12 and very down on myself all my life which does not help the depression at all. I had a handle on it for many years with only minor flare ups which i pushed down and hide, after my daughter was born I had massive PPD and took myself off the meds after 6 months because my step mother in law threatened to take her saying I was unstable. So i told myself I was fine, when those feelings of wanting to kill myself would go through my head I would silence them by taking tylenol pm so I would go to sleep. When i got pregnant with my son the depression got so bad i went to my doctor because I wanted to get on meds, I was crying alot and thinking about killing myself and I knew that was not right because it would be murder as well but I was not able to control the thought anymore they were in a sense controlling me. He would have but he warned us about the affects the meds could have on the baby so we said we would wait so I just talked it out with hubby but it was not easy when he really does not understand at all. Even after 14 years he does not understand depression and anxiety and what I am feeling UGH oh boy sorry I guess I am having an off day must be the weather its kinda gross here and my 9 year old is off teh wall today and just not listening Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:49:34 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_281292 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_281292 Aneith @restlesslily: I function without meds as well. :) @ChechireKat: Interesting. I'm the opposite. When I was forced on drugs as a teenager, I went off the deep end and tried to kill myself several times. I'm also off. Not sure to what extent or what causes it, but yeah. I find this subject very fascinating. If I was smart enough, I'd become some sort of neuroscientist so I could figure out how brains work. @Mikita5510: *hugs* Sorry I'm not good with comforting words, but do have hugs. I have trouble explaining my problems too since it's somehow difficult for people to understand that I know I'm inferior. Sat, 29 Oct 2011 14:03:25 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_286285 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_286285 CheshireKat I had a bad experience with the first 5 drugs I was tried on... it took 7 years from the onset of my first major depressive episode (and multiple episodes of self-harm, attempts on my own life, outbursts of physical rage, and episodes of dazzling, exhausting mania) before bipolar disorder was finally diagnosed. For quite a while the doctors tried repeatedly to give me antidepressants to treat my severe depressive episodes, but most of them made me manic (a side effect that occurs in roughly 50% of patients with bipolar disorder if the antidepressant is taken without a concurrent mood stabilizer) and none of them worked. Finally I saw a new psychiatrist who said, "You know, you're probably bipolar, in which case a mood stabilizer would be better at *actually* stabilizing your mood." Like magic, suddenly my world stopped spinning off the axle at 90 mph. It was similar to the experience of putting on a pair of glasses for the first time when I was 12 - before then, nobody realized how bad my vision was, because I hadn't been to an eye doctor since I was 4 and had nothing else to compare it to. I remember walking out of the eye doctor's office with my new glasses on, staring wide-eyed at everything, trying to drink it all in. I didn't realize that you could actually see leaves on trees until that moment... the first twelve years of my life had been blurry. In the same vein, the first 20 years of my life had been "blurry" before mood stabilizers. Drug therapy may not be right for many people, but it's a necessary part of my life to function like a normal, productive human being. Like you, I wish I knew how it all worked! Sat, 29 Oct 2011 14:33:27 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_286764 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_286764 thelilacmuse Oh honey, a therapist like that made a comment that sent me on the epic spiral that led to me being in the hospital. Are you sure you have no other options? Sat, 29 Oct 2011 21:28:42 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_291129 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=2#forum_thread_comment_291129 thelilacmuse Oh my God, sometimes the relief of talking about mental illness with people who get it is just ridiculous. I am so glad I found this and PLEASE PLEASE anyone who wants add me as a buddy because I will probably be too scared of being disliked to add you. &gt;.&gt; So. Hi! Amanda, 23, severe recurrent major depressive disorder and eating disorder NOS in remission with some anxiety on the side. I started to really get my life turned around when I spent a few days in the hospital back in April. I had a therapist I looooooved and then went far away to grad school and now have one I ... like a fair bit ... Anyway, I'm hoping this'll be a positive mental health thing for me in that it will reconnect me with this thing I love. And I hope it will for you all as well. Sat, 29 Oct 2011 21:42:51 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_291347 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_291347 krminnj Thanks for the welcome, CheshireKat! Thank you for your kind words. I really like the sound of your novel!! I think so many people can identitfy with that struggle... Sun, 30 Oct 2011 06:08:43 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_295656 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_295656 CheshireKat Amanda, I had a similar experience with therapists. I had a really, really amazing one who helped me through so many things, but she was a grad student and she ended up moving half-way across the country for her post-doc training, so I had to get a new therapist. I like the new one okay, but we just don't have the same connection, and probably never will. I suppose that's alright, I can still talk to her, it's just not the same as with my first one. Glad to hear you're in remission, that's great! I hope very much that it stays that way for you. :) Welcome to the Quackers! Sun, 30 Oct 2011 07:09:31 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_296368 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_296368 thelilacmuse Yeah it sucks when you finally find somebody you like and then a move (whether you or them) interrupts the work you're doing. I'm glad I've got somebody looking out for me in any case though; it can be bad when I don't. Sun, 30 Oct 2011 07:41:36 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_296733 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_296733 Aneith :) I'm afraid of being disliked too. *hugs* Sun, 30 Oct 2011 09:02:13 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_298007 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_298007 ariesrising Hi, I'm Jen. I have been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, dysthymia (past episodes of major depressive disorder), health anxiety with OCD traits and seasonal affective disorder. Every year I hope I can get out to the Nano kickoff parties, and every year my anxiety flares up and I chicken out. I'm not on medication (aside from sedatives when absolutely necessary), but I am currently doing cognitive behavioural therapy. I think it's helping, but there are definitely days when I don't feel that way. Sun, 30 Oct 2011 12:54:48 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_302131 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_302131 tigerlily515 I will say yes to Quacky buddy requests. I've been adding people, but my finger is tired for the night. Actually everything is tired for the night. I'd like a bit of hypomania to kick in...... Sun, 30 Oct 2011 17:05:23 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_307452 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_307452 thelilacmuse 1. SAME re: kickoff parties. I was so sure I was going to go this year but then found myself making excuses. 2. EXCELLENT ICON CHOICES. Basically nice to meet you, Jen! =D Sun, 30 Oct 2011 18:50:18 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_309928 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_309928 ariesrising Nice to meet you too =) I always get excited to go to things weeks in advance, then when they come I sort of freeze and think "What the hell was I thinking?!" It gets frustrating because I am sure it won't be as hard or bad as I think. I need to be possessed by Pinkie Pie lol. Sun, 30 Oct 2011 21:08:10 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_313289 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_313289 Aneith Don't be offended when i don't add you. It's nothing personal. I just don't understand the buddy lists. The last couple years, they were just lists of people regardless of whether they actually talked to me or not. Mon, 31 Oct 2011 04:28:59 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_318339 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_318339 wombatrider I also find Asperger's and autism completely fascinating to me. I think I probably lost a babysitting job recently because I was too quick to say that signs pointed to autism. I think the woman was too focused on perfection, and not very open-minded. I don't think she liked me hearing what her grandchild was exhibiting, and my eyes lighting up when I figured I'd say "That sounds like autism!" .... I understand where she's coming from, but I guess I needed to exercise some restraint and sensitivity that I normally have at all times (sometimes, too much of either/or)... anyway... Yay for people who like to answer questions ;-) Mon, 31 Oct 2011 07:39:47 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_321426 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_321426 wombatrider Welcome back, tigerlily-emotions! Glad to have you around again! Congrats on the med-change, and good luck to you tomorrow/tonight! Mon, 31 Oct 2011 07:40:57 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_321443 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_321443 wombatrider You kind of sound like a friend of mine. You even have her name... you're just on the other side of the world, is all. I'm glad you'll one day help others... that's the very best thing to do once you recover from something, is help others on their own journeys. Mon, 31 Oct 2011 08:05:35 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_321954 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_321954 tigerlily515 No offense taken. I love that picture BTW Mon, 31 Oct 2011 08:49:32 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_323024 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_323024 Aneith Thanks. :) Alucard is awesome. I like your picture too. Mon, 31 Oct 2011 11:05:24 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_326572 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_326572 thelilacmuse Or some chocolate milk rain ... either way. =D Sadly I think I am a mix of Fluttershy and Applejack and just aspire to Pinkie-status. Mon, 31 Oct 2011 11:19:15 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_326945 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_326945 CheshireKat Less than 24 hours until NaNo officially begins here on the east coast of the U.S.!! Are you guys totally pumped about it? Slightly frantic? Wondering what the heck you got yourselves into? Mon, 31 Oct 2011 11:21:39 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_327018 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=3#forum_thread_comment_327018 Zumie Hahaha oh jeez how did I never know about this place til now! I'm Zumie--just got 'officially' diagnosed with major recursive depression the beginning of the year, though I'd suspected for years that I had it (thanks society, for spreading that toxic assumption that you cannot self-diagnose or you are an attention-seeking idiot!). Also have some mild anxiety issues when I'm doing too many things at once--I shut down and head to bed. This year I'll be juggling three art studio classes with nano, so, haha, I guess this is a challenge to myself?? It's nice to meet y'all. Anyone else feeling obliged to stay up until midnight just to write one word, or is that just me? Mon, 31 Oct 2011 11:59:12 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_327960 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_327960 wombatrider Oh cool… so I'm not the only one who's self-diagnosed a syndrome/disorder. I think I've got Avoidant Personality Disorder. I mean… if I had insurance, I'd be asking the doctors for their expert opinion… but I mean… the avoidant personality Disorder wikipedia article made me cry, it was so on-point. None of the other articles for thinks like major depression or whatever, ever hit home that hard. That night I read it, was an eye-opener… and I found a few online support groups… but Avoidants tend to … avoid things. Like diagnoses and support groups, whether they're online or off. I've tried to get people to try to connect on a deeper level… but I don't think that's why they're there. I think they go on there to vent and be done with it. Anyways… I've also been dealing with three years worth of constant depression. So uhm… quack! Oh, almost forgot the Original Poster said to tell you all about the future novel. It's about two young women, about my age. They're sisters, and one's run off with a bad-news boyfriend and is going to fall deeply in love with an even-worse bad-news-drugged-out-boyfriend... on the way to finding the father that left them when they were younger. The other sister is going to try and find her, and is accompanied by the first-bad-news-boyfriend's twin(possibly) brother. I am trying to make this brother a ghost-like thing, where he's in a coma and needs her to come help them, so they can get treated and stuff… so spirit-travels back to his apartment and recruits her on their quest. I don't know if that'll be written in or not. It's in my notes, but when I tried a test-opening-scene (don't worry… it was just a test, not a cheat-sheet)… it didn't go that way. So anyway… the villian's initials are VD… not sure why, I think because I was annotating him as "V.D" for Villian Dude in my outlines and character explorations. I think his last name might be Duncan… not sure on the first name. He's tied to the sisters by a link with their hippie-freak mother, who just died. Lots of death and drugs and dealing with little wayward sisters… almost like my life right now. (minus the drugs.) Mon, 31 Oct 2011 12:13:20 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_328330 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_328330 JStipe14 Quack, quack! Hey all! New NaNo participant, but not new to Mental Illness. I've suffered from social anxiety issues for as long as I can remember. My diagnosis of depression came after nearly 4 years of suspecting that I had it. Panic disorder started as a freshman in college, and it's decided to be stubborn- I can't deal with it somedays... rawr! My novel details a fictionalised account of my life as an undergraduate researcher with MI. Mon, 31 Oct 2011 23:51:50 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_344658 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_344658 allywa Hiya! I'm Ally, and when I saw this thread I knew I just had to post. I read most of the posts above, and I find that I may just fit in this group :) Let's see...I have Bipolar &amp; AD/HD. I'm a little bit OCD sometimes, but it's nothing major(sometimes, I count to 5 again and again and again at work....) These past 2 years for me have been terrible...I won't tell a sob story, but let's just say, I went through a lot. So much happened, and this past March I wound up in the hospital for attempted suicide. I know, that's very personal information to share, but I'm sure many of you have gone through something similar. I had to take a medical leave from college because of my depression. I'm doing a lot better now, but I still find myself spiraling from time to time. I have amazing friends and the best boyfriend a girl could ask for, and yet, I still find myself struggling to smile and be happy. If anyone has any tips...??? I take medication, and it helps immensely. I know a lot of people are opposed to it and think that you can just "mentally talk yourself out of a mental disorder/illness," but I don't think it works that way, at least not for me. If I don't take my medication, it shows. Particularly for AD/HD. I can't function. I admire all of you that have found a way to control your mental infliction, but I simply cannot cope without them. Hope to hear more from all of you :) People with mental disorders/illnesses tend to be the most interesting, creative people I know. Tue, 01 Nov 2011 01:59:59 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_346505 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_346505 tigerlily515 allywa, thank you for having the courage to share. I was in the hospital for the same reason in March 2010. It's a tough recovery, but you deserve kudos for being brave enough to make it. We both do :) I take meds as well. I do not always like the side effects, and I confess to missing the hypomanias....but.....how can I say this? After financial distress, attempted suicide, an affair several years ago, and other lovely choices I have made while manic or depressed.....I am more afraid of what will happen if I DON'T take it. Not to mention I have two children whose need for a stable mom outweigh my need for the rollercoaster (and make no mistake, I LOVED the rollercoaster). Everyone makes it the best way they can. Tue, 01 Nov 2011 04:49:22 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_349120 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_349120 restlesslilly Keep pushing forward and never give up! I flunked out of college, lost my job, and was in the hospital 3 times in the psych ward due to my struggles. Last time was January 2009, when I attempted suicide. You're definitely not alone, and please know this sadness that seems to follow you everywhere won't last forever if you keep hope and keep trying. I know how it is to be there, for years and years, and be convinced things will never get better. But they can. They will! You can get through this. You can find your happiness again. *hugs* Tue, 01 Nov 2011 05:18:43 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_349698 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_349698 restlesslilly I had so much fun celebrating my 1st Halloween with my girls(my first time celebrating too since growing up I never did) I got home at midnight, exhausted, and realized it was Nano! I gotta get writing! Hope everyone is doing well! Tue, 01 Nov 2011 05:20:25 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_349735 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_349735 thelilacmuse Find a GOOD therapist, if you've got the insurance for that. It was really quite amazing for me; I thought I hated therapy but I just hadn't met the right therapist yet. It's like dating or something. Also, know you're not at all alone. Going to a psych hospital is an experience that one can only know about if they've had it. Tue, 01 Nov 2011 11:54:43 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_358665 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_358665 thelilacmuse Set an alarm for midnight, put away the homework, churned out 1700 words. =D Feeling pretty good right about now! Tue, 01 Nov 2011 11:55:34 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_358695 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_358695 rosepetal720 I'm also a firm believer in therapy. If you could get through this on your own without therapy or medication, it wouldn't be a disorder! I found a good medication after searching for eight years, and I am never going off of it. Ever. I'm not even going to try: depression has taken enough of my life and I'm not going to give it one more second. I don't understand why it makes people so ashamed to take meds. I guess they just feel the need to have control. It doesn't make sense to me because without medication, I have no control! I'm glad all of you have come so far in your struggles! You're right; it's hard, but it gets better. Tue, 01 Nov 2011 13:48:34 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_362273 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_362273 rosepetal720 I started writing at midnight too. It was awesome! I stared at the clock, and when 12:01 am hit, it was take off! So much fun. I'm going to do it that way from now on. teralynpilgrim.blogspot.com Tue, 01 Nov 2011 13:49:44 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_362317 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_362317 rosepetal720 I used to handle my problems with sleep. If I have one piece of advice for you, it's to do whatever you can to break that habit. For me, it got so bad that I was sleeping 14 hours a day. I slept right through classes and work. Taking a nap seemed so innocent at first... I still can't believe I let it spiral out of control like that. I stayed up till midnight, and it was awesome! Tue, 01 Nov 2011 13:56:18 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_362549 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_362549 Mystic Dragon Our power was out from the snowstorm that hit. It went out Saturday sometime between noon and 2, and didn't come back on until last night...then, our internet went out about two hours after the power came back on, and was out until about 40 minutes ago. ...I thought I'd be starting NaNo a week late this year! I did get a good amount written, and changed my idea on the fly yesterday and solidified it today...kinda fun to do things like that. XD I'll definitely get to the other couple ideas I have, but I'm having a lotta fun with this one right now. And, now that we have power (and most importantly, HEATING), I can actually get things done. ^^; Tue, 01 Nov 2011 16:45:52 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_368640 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_368640 restlesslilly Good job everyone! Keep going! I, uh, I wrote a paragraph earlier! Woo! LOL Once I get my toddler to bed it's so writing time! Tue, 01 Nov 2011 17:08:19 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_369377 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_369377 CheshireKat Looks like everyone is off to a great first day of NaNo! My personal goal for each day is 2,000 words (trying to finish by Thanksgiving) and today I've churned out just shy of 2,500 so far, so I'm happy. :) Had an epiphany in the shower this morning that totally changed the way my story started, and it ended up being much more awesome than I was anticipating. For those who struggle with ADHD like myself, I thought I would share a tip that I've been using to help me focus and keep up with both NaNo and school work. I call it "chunking" the day, which basically means doing everything in chunks. Or, as my roommate described it, "Sandwiching torture between two slices of awesome." I allowed myself to write a chapter of my NaNo novel, then took a break and had dinner, allowing my brain to decompress from having to focus on writing (probably the most frustrating part of ADHD is not being able to sit and focus even on things you really want to do). Then after I had time to eat and let my brain rest, I spent an hour writing a 4-page paper for one of my English classes. Now I am taking another mental break to decompress again, this time by making another small meal and browsing the NaNo forums. After that, I am going to sit down and try to write another couple of scenes before I decide to crash for the evening since I have to get up so early for work tomorrow. The key to it is giving yourself breaks in between 30-60 minute "chunks" of productivity. This isn't just a coping strategy for ADHD (although that's what I initially learned it for), it can also be a good coping strategy to manage stress in general. Don't try to sit and focus on anything for more than 60 minutes at a time, unless you are REALLY enjoying it, otherwise your brain is a lot more likely to get fried. At least that is very true for me. Hopefully that helps someone along the way, enjoy the rest of Day 1! Tue, 01 Nov 2011 17:16:11 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_369630 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_369630 Lil Shiro I suffer from depression made worse by the fact that I don't talk about with anyone. Bottling up is bad. But my boyfriend has just been so wonderful, I've been doing a lot better, and that is why I decided to write a novel about us. I suppose it's embarrassing, but... you know... Tue, 01 Nov 2011 18:01:37 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_371312 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_371312 allywa Ugh, I just had a MAJOR mood swing tonight. Spent the hours I was supposed to write after a day of work crying my eyes out. I don't know if its the new meds I'm on or if work is so depressing that it's making me miserable. I haven't written a single word yet. I want to write so badly because I'm entering the hypomania phase of my mood swings and I have a lot of creative energy, but I don't know where to begin and its frustrating me. I tend to write the best during a mood swing. Is anyone else like this? Sorry if none of this made sense :/ Wed, 02 Nov 2011 00:14:14 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_381787 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_381787 allywa I go to a therapist every now and then...mostly just when something major happens in my life every few months. I should make more regular appointments, though. This past month has been particularly hard on me. I was sexually assaulted and had to go to the hospital, had foot surgery, got into a car accident, almost lost my job, and had to get a restraining order against my psycho ex that's been harassing me for 2 straight years. I felt like God was punishing me. I did meet my wonderful boyfriend though, who has been so supportive of me and accepts me, despite my mental...defects? I don't know what to call them. Wed, 02 Nov 2011 00:18:32 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_381860 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_381860 tigerlily515 It makes sense to me. When I am hypomanic I can write like crazy. I just dive in and don't worry about it because of course I am sparkling and wonderful and everything I write is brilliant - haha. I am the most interesting woman in the world when I am hypomanic. :) I wrote a little less than 700 words yesterday. I have lots of ideas for today, but I have to get ready for work first. Bleh. Wed, 02 Nov 2011 06:35:52 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_387854 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_387854 setthetable I am head to toe insomnia-ridden today. Work should be interesting... Right on and write on my brave quackeroos. -s Wed, 02 Nov 2011 07:50:02 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_389720 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_389720 Aneith I'm taking a self esteem course and today we talked about our inner critics as people separate from ourselves (and wrote them letters). I've already done this, but I still learned something. See, my inner critic is my weak side (and the villain of one of my nano novels :P) and, for some reason, I let her get away with things I would never let anyone else because of excuses I would never accept from anyone else. :P Sorry I'm probably the only person who finds that interesting. Wed, 02 Nov 2011 14:47:37 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_402661 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_402661 tigerlily515 I do. I have also explored the inner critic lately. Wed, 02 Nov 2011 15:32:32 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_404311 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_404311 closetomidnight Hey, I'm Erica. OCD, depression, and other general... not-great stuff. My NaNo this year is actually about my experience in the acute care unit of a psych hospital. My MC is based on me, but very exaggerated and she has more problems than I do. It's about half obviously me, half not me at all. I'm actually in the best place of my life right now, and I have a wonderfully supportive boyfriend, but it's still tough. I think I started to have a panic attack today, but I made it through. Sadly, bad feelings are gonna help me a lot this month with my writing! Wed, 02 Nov 2011 17:08:09 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_407884 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_407884 Mikita5510 woof woof of course this is my greeting LOL well since my emotions are wacko lately I went to my shrink and got out on more meds im now on abilify on top of my reg meds so im hoping this will help as well. ive actually written a dcent amount abotu 4k so far... ok more later the baby wants attention LOL Wed, 02 Nov 2011 17:14:18 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_408142 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_408142 Kate L Hey All! Been depressed for the past year; I've had to switch therapists and such. I'm doing okay with writing, but it's hard when my mood takes a downturn, which I've noticed tends to happen in the afternoons and meal times. Migraines aren't fun to write with either. So far I haven't gone on medication, but my therapist thinks I should, as do friends. Ugh, I already write 'dark &amp; dreary' now I'm depressed on top of it. Wed, 02 Nov 2011 18:08:55 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_410238 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_410238 CheshireKat I can't write at all when I'm in a hypomanic or full-blown manic phase. I simply don't have the attention span, I start writing something but don't get more than a paragraph or so in before I bounce to something new. I have many, many word documents saved on my computer that have bizarre names and consist of only one or two paragraphs, sometimes only a few lines or even just a few words. I can tell exactly what mental state of mind those came out of. I write the most (and the best) when I am depressed, but not severely depressed. When I become severely depressed, I lose my words and can't write at all, nothing will come. When I'm dark but not immensely so, I have just enough creative malaise (if you will) to power my engine. My writing is at its most poetic, its most raw, its most poignant when I am depressed. One of the things that worried me most about going on mood stabilizers initially was that I was afraid that I would lose my creativeness and my ability to write. My moods and my Muse are so enmeshed in one another that I was afraid that anchoring my moods would stifle my creativity. I am blessed enough to say that no, that is not the case. In fact, being on a mood stabilizer has actually helped me write more because I have longer episodes of normalcy in which I can think straight and actually focus on what I'm writing. My goal for today is 8k... I'm just about to break 7k so another few pages to go before the night is over! Wed, 02 Nov 2011 18:35:24 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_411196 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_411196 restlesslilly Welcome all newcomers! Lots of crackers, hugs if needed, and coffee/tea! er....I have a synopsis of sorts! Woo! 2,209 words so far. Hoping to hit 4k before bed. I'd love to go to bed now. But I'm making myself push forward. Hope everyone else is doing well! I love reading the updates :) Stay strong. Whatever life throws at us we'll get through...also whatever our novels throw at us....we can get through that too! Wed, 02 Nov 2011 18:49:57 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_411748 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_411748 Paulsnextwife Very interesting, Sue! Good luck to you too! I like that you're finishing on a positive note. I'm writing about mental illness this year, too. It's fiction, but it's me, and a lot of the things I write actually did happen (maybe I embellish some---to make it more interesting). You can do it, sweetie! Wed, 02 Nov 2011 19:54:41 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_413956 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_413956 allywa So, I didn't know where else to turn, but tonight was really bad. I had the worst mood swing I've had in a LONG time. Worse than last night's. My boyfriend got upset with me and I just lost control of everything. I wanted to die. I cried for an hour straight. He said he wasn't upset, that he was just tired. The thing is, I don't want to live without him. He's the only thing that makes me happy in my life. I sound so Romeo &amp; Juliet, dramatic, and crazy. He told me that there should be more reasons to live than just him and that that puts too much pressure on him. It sounded like he didn't really care at all. But honestly, if I lose him, I'm afraid I will actually kill myself. And that scares me so much, because I've tried before for a similar reason. Nobody understands. Why can't I be strong? Why do I let everyone walk all over me? Why am I SO sensitive? He promised never to hurt me...and yet I hurt so much...part of it is because I was in an emotionally abusive relationship 2 years ago that still haunts me and leaves me having anxiety attacks whenever the person I'm dating/likes gets upset with me. I haven't written a single word yet because I'm so uninspired and depressed. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know who to talk to. I'm so miserable. Whenever I try to write something, it's terribly sad. I thought about checking myself into the hospital, but that place just makes me even more depressed. I feel like I bother all my real life friends. I don't know if I'm more emotional because my psych upped my amphetamines or what. I thought maybe some of you would have advice. I could really use any words of wisdom or comfort right now. I feel so worthless and unloved. Wed, 02 Nov 2011 21:50:13 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_417628 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_417628 Mikita5510 @Allywa you are not worthless and unloved!!!! i think you are so worthy its not funny!! do not let those little voices that say mean stuff win they are not your friend... trust me I have those same little voices yelling at me saying all sorts of mean stuff stuff to me and I listen to them ALOT more than I should. In a way he is right you should have a reason to live that is more than him but I also understand your point of view.. you were hurt so you are clinging to what you love. What you should try to do is think about all the reasons that make you special, you are talented, beautiful, wonderful, special, creative, loved, blessed. as far as the writing goes why not write a horror novel you know something dark and mysterious or s suspense thriller or even just start to write and see what happens... go to the adopt section and see what you can find, who knows what you can find.... just remeber this you are not alone we are here for you *BIG HUGS* Wed, 02 Nov 2011 23:07:37 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_419470 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_419470 JStipe14 Gah! I hate social anxiety like there is no tomorrow. It's sucking to be me right now :/ Wed, 02 Nov 2011 23:42:03 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_420074 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_420074 krminnj Sorry you are having trouble, JStipe14. I also suffer from social anxiety to some degree. I really want to go to a write-in but I am scared of meeting so many strangers! Thu, 03 Nov 2011 04:03:09 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_423182 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_423182 restlesslilly *hugs* You sound so much like me. How I was years ago. My boyfriend was my entire world. I had nothing else. You feel that way maybe because you don't feel like you're strong enough to make it in life alone. But you are! With healing and therapy you can learn how to love yourself again and regain confidence in yourself. Regain your love for other things in life outside of your boyfriend. Him saying those things doesn't mean he doesn't care. I know because I talked all this over with my husband after years of him being with me in such a state. He told me he loves me very much, but being the only person in the world who gets to handle all my emotional problems and the only person I had for support and me saying things like how I would die without him put a ton of stress and pressure onto him. Him dealing with that for years, the stress of it all, actually made *him* depressed to the point where he had to get on meds. It took me awhile before I could finally realize it wasn't his job to fix things and bear the burden of my problems. And that's what I was doing to him. Once I realized that and put all that weight and responsibility onto my own shoulders again and no one elses my healing process actually got better and went a lot faster. But it's hard because it all feels so overwhelming we feel like we can't possibly handle it all on our own, so we try to make those we love help us. But they can't. All they can do is stay with us and offer support. But making them responsible for our entire happiness in life is actually hurtful for them. It makes them feel stressed to where they might say things that make us think they don't care, when that's not the case at all. I'm not saying all this to make you feel bad. I just want you to be patient with yourself. You will get through this time. Know you're NOT alone in feeling this way, and your boyfriend isn't alone with his feelings either. Just know things can and will get better! Let him know that you know you can get through this(even if you don't 100% believe that yet) I have also been in abusive relationships and it definitely makes having a healthy relationship afterwards difficult. But you ARE strong! The voices that say you aren't are lying. If you weren't strong you wouldn't even be trying anymore. IMO the difference between strength and weakness is keeping your hope. Keep pushing forward and keep the hope that someday things will change for the better, Anyway, I'm sorry if anything I said upset you. Not my intention. Just giving my own insight into things. I've been there hun. It feels horrible. Like things will never change or get better and that you'll always be anxiety ridden and feeling weak. But you won't! You can be happy again and you can learn to trust and feel safe again. Lots of good thoughts and hugs *HUGS* for you. You are not worthless, you are hurting and working on making sense of the world. That's a big difference. Take care! Thu, 03 Nov 2011 04:31:29 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_423539 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_423539 tigerlily515 I am wondering if hypomania is approaching. I now have over 4,000 words (after 600 or so the first day), and I am rapidly becoming the funniest person I know.... And while I should be concerned, all I can think about is how clean the house will be and how easy it will be to reach 50,000. Not to mention the woman I see in the mirror will be so freaking hot! Thu, 03 Nov 2011 07:47:30 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_427269 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_427269 Shaluna I've been diagnosized with depression, psychotic disorder nos, eating disorder nos, bulimia, bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder. My current, and probably accurate diagnoses are bipolar disorder (convalescence period from psychotic depression episode) and ed-nos (which is not very active, but still in the background). I've been on disability pension for 3 years and I've went to therapy for 2 years. The therapy has helped me a lot and I'm feeling better than in years. I still stay at home a lot and feel anxious/depressed quite a lot, but I don't blame myself for it and I don't let my anxiety stop me doing things I want to (like NaNo and art thing in general). Thu, 03 Nov 2011 07:59:23 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_427525 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_427525 restlesslilly Mania does have its perks. Stay safe though. :) Thu, 03 Nov 2011 08:07:27 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_427729 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_427729 restlesslilly Welcome and thanks for sharing! I still struggle a lot with anxiety and depression here and there, mood swings too at times, but I always try to remember not to let myself give up and go back to not doing anything. I think it's important to do something enjoyable at least once a day. No matter how small it might be. Hope your noveling is going well! :) Thu, 03 Nov 2011 08:09:50 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_427783 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_427783 Aneith Ugh. I finally got into my Mc's head and I'm still struggling because he's a male version of part of me and I don't know that part of myself very well. Also, I don't know what he thinks of the villain because he's supposed to fight her, but he's also supposed to empathize with her and I can't quite figure out the balance. Not to mention it's difficult to think of ways people can set themselves up as a team of superheroes especially if they have trust issues. Thu, 03 Nov 2011 11:17:49 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_432749 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_432749 Mystic Dragon For situations where a character sympathizes or empathizes with the enemy, they usually start where the character is completely opposed to the enemy, then realizes that they actually have a lot in common, but chose different routes (good and evil). As for a team of superheroes with trust issues...welp, to start with, they have a common goal, right? A common goal or meeting under dire circumstances where they're FORCED to watch each other's backs might help get that team on track. Just throw'n out some possibilities. ^^ Thu, 03 Nov 2011 14:53:02 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_439554 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_439554 Mikita5510 ok ive gotten to 4,978 and right now im on a downer trip and its not much fun atm. im just upset about well everything. ive been doing okay all day im just getting tired and the day is catching up with me. so my writing has kinda ground to a halt today. sigh Thu, 03 Nov 2011 14:53:34 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_439571 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_439571 TheBrokenDoll I'm a bit late to the party but can I still join in? I'm 28 from the UK. I have alternate bouts of depression, mania and anxiety. I'm about 6300 words into my Nano at the moment, let's see how that continues! I've had the story in my head for a while (2 years in fact) but due to the themes of it, always found it hard to write but now I'm on a roll! If anyone wants to add me as a writing buddy or find me on twitter then please do. I'm loving all the Nano updates on my timelines and finding some lovely to chat to! twitter.com/_thebrokendoll_ Thu, 03 Nov 2011 15:41:55 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_441240 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_441240 CheshireKat This is going way better than I had ever anticipated! I broke 10k today, totaled out at 11,556 words at the end of the night (which is really more like 1:30 in the morning, but whatever, details). I don't work at all tomorrow so I decided to indulge and stay up as late as I wanted to writing this chapter. I was worried about how I was going to get to this point in my story, because I didn't have a clear path, just a starting point and an ideal destination to use as a jumping board... but of course, as it always does, the path created itself with enough sitting, staring at the screen, and begging Muse to throw me a bone! lol I hope everyone is doing well and staying anchored. Remember, even if you're only writing 100 words a day, that's 100 words of progress you've made that you never would have made if you hadn't sat down and tried. Starting on anything, NaNo or otherwise, is half the battle. Here is one of my favorite quotes that is sort of NaNo-pertinent and that I think anyone who deals with anything, mental illness or otherwise, can really relate to: “If you have the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed.” - David Viscott Thu, 03 Nov 2011 22:24:32 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_452980 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_452980 gentillylace I'm keeping up -- I'm at 5543 words so far. I had wanted to get to 6k on Thursday, but considering that I slept for 12 hours (5 AM to 5 PM) and then had a church meeting from 6:30 to 8 PM, I think I did pretty well. I'll probably leap ahead on the weekends -- I usually do. Fri, 04 Nov 2011 00:19:55 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_454829 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_454829 heather.anne Howdy, y'all. I'll be 35 on Saturday, and I'm from rural Arkansas -- miles away from anything interesting. I'm currently in treatment for bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety, and ADHD, so I'm usually too depressed or too hyper to get anything done. I've had a lot of trouble finding that happy medium. I've been pleasantly surprised with my progress so far -- 8400 words. I started new medications a couple of weeks ago so maybe they're working. *fingers crossed* It's been so long since I've made any kind of progress with my writing. Fri, 04 Nov 2011 01:19:13 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_455483 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_455483 thelilacmuse I have been here. I think the worst bit for me was feeling like, I agreed that my ex shouldn't be the only thing keeping me going, but when I felt like she was and she didn't want to try to help, I felt even more worthless. Just keep going. Take care of yourself and stay safe as much as you can. You are the only person who can truly help you, and you're strong enough, it just might take some time and be a struggle. Be patient with yourself, love yourself, and know that you have lots of support and love. Fri, 04 Nov 2011 09:15:55 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_462692 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=4#forum_thread_comment_462692 the_awesome_puck I feel a bit late posting here, but oh well, here goes! Hi y'all. I'm 24, live in Michigan, USA, and have depression, ptsd, some agoraphobic tendencies, and a few anxiety disorders. I've been dealing with my depression since I was 15, and while the ptsd is nothing new, it's newly diagnosed. Thankfully my agoraphobic tendencies aren't so bad right now, since my dogs help me to leave the house (even if it's just for a little while for a small walk, it really helps me to remember that I can do this, and that something bad won't happen every time I leave my home), and so long as someone is with me, I'm occassionally okay with leaving the house during the day (so long as it's not for anything social, because that's a completly different freak-out, lol). I'm even now able to leave the house and occassionally do things like visit my doctors on my own, which is a huge step up from a few years ago. My other anxiety disorders went undiagnosed for years because some of the symptoms can be very similar to some of my physical disabilities (which is still causing problems as my doctors play a game of hot potato over who should be treating what symptoms). I'm currently on some medications and seeing a psychiatrist, though I'm not currently seeing a therapist after having several issues with therapy (and not having the money to continually play the 'find a therapist that doesn't send me into a downward spiral' game). I'm on Disability stipends atm, which is a huge relief, since I spent years with no income and no access to medical care. I'm having a really hard time with NaNo this year, and have only managed to write for one day. I can feel myself approaching a meltdown (I have them several times a year, without neccesarily always having a clear trigger), and am at the point where everything is overwhelming to the point that it's aggravating my SI tendencies. It's so strange - I feel like I can "write" for hours in my head, and, in fact, it's something that keeps me sane a lot of the time, but for some reason when it comes to putting words down on paper I completely clam up. Oh well. Hopefully things'll even out in a little bit. Either way, I still have plenty of time to catch up. :D Nice to meet y'all! Fri, 04 Nov 2011 11:58:43 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_466470 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_466470 TheBrokenDoll That's excellent! :) Fri, 04 Nov 2011 14:45:33 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_471303 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_471303 TheBrokenDoll That's amazing progress. Good luck on the new meds, hope they do wonders for you :) Fri, 04 Nov 2011 14:47:09 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_471349 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_471349 Mikita5510 ok this year is gonna be a weird one for me and NANO... these characters are not allowing me much room in writing them and they are taking MY life into themselves and writing the story for me based on what I went thorugh... my one story idea that I started almost got scrapped and another one was being worked on well that incorported itself intomy first one which was cool,,,, its like I am not even writing this year its like they are and its kinda freaking me out Sat, 05 Nov 2011 12:19:39 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_496528 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_496528 Eran of Arcadia I: Was diagnosed with depression, ADD, and seasonal affective disorder 8 years ago, a few weeks after my 21st birthday, although I had started noticing symptoms in high school. I was on therapy and meds for a while (Effexor proved to be the most useful), then sporadically throughout college. Since I graduated college I haven't been on any health insurance, and so I have been therapy- and med-free for several years now. This is Not A Good Thing, for me at least. I have had trouble with stress, especially lately, and I tend to get caught up in a vicious cycle where my depression makes me avoid doing things, which makes me depressed that I didn't do them, which . . . lather, rinse, repeat. I have lately taking to responding to acute stress by hurting myself, which provides immediate relief but is rather clearly not a good long term solution. Am skipping NaNo this year. Working full time and going to grad school are hard enough on their own; add ADD (heh) to the mix and it gets harder, add NaNo and forget it. Although the fact that I am here when I have all sorts of work I need to do this weekend should tell you something. Have met all sorts of attitudes in response to my issues. When I was diagnosed, I had a friend who suggested that it was "all in my head" (well duh) and I should just "get over it". The fact that I broke my arm shortly before the diagnosis (best birthday ever!) made a great analogy - I wasn't going to "just get over" having a broken arm. (Except I did, as treatment consisted of an X-ray showing a hairline fracture, a few tylenols, not using it, and letting my body fix it . . . but still.) Luckily I have a supportive family and a great wife. Sat, 05 Nov 2011 14:48:32 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_500652 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_500652 Riyoha Hi Quackers ^_^ (you wouldn't believe how long it just took me to spell quackers ^^_) I'm still at zero...and I've only just come up with my plot (kinda...still needs a bit of ironing ^_^) but I've invented my own novelling system that should let me outline and catch up all in around 15-20 hours then I should actually be ahead ^_^ Sat, 05 Nov 2011 15:11:33 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_501273 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_501273 restlesslilly Good luck with grad school and your job! I definitely understand not doing nano on top of all that! Sat, 05 Nov 2011 16:47:56 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_504087 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_504087 restlesslilly Welcome! Hope you are able to keep writing! Sat, 05 Nov 2011 16:53:54 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_504260 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_504260 restlesslilly Sitting here aggravated tonight for various reasons. I'm getting depressed I can feel it. I'm just annoyed at life. Annoyed at wanting to help people but never being good enough to do so because of my mental illnesses. Annoyed at being judged. Annoyed at being told I can't do things. Annoyed at being trapped at home 24/7 only getting to leave my house once or twice a month. Annoyed at everyone talking about Christmas when it's my toddler's 2nd Christmas and my infant daughter's first and it's doubtful we'll be able to get them much of anything. Which makes the fact that everything I had *wanted* to get my kids now suddenly my MIL says she's getting them just makes me want to punch her in face. Add onto all this my husband either being mean to me because he's trying to kick his nicotine addiction and is irritable or just wanting sex from me and never anything more and my kids screaming all day unless I hold them which makes getting anything done impossible...just...I just wanna lock myself in my bedroom all day and not have to deal with anyone. Somehow so far I'm keeping up with my word count mostly. Need a thousand words to reach today's goal. I think I'm using my novel as an escape from my reality. The fact that my novel is horror makes it nice. I can take out my frustrations on the people in my novel. Sat, 05 Nov 2011 17:02:35 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_504513 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_504513 Eran of Arcadia Thanks! I am really excited to do this again next year when I should be done with school (and have a job that provides health coverage . . . ) I am already planning it. Sat, 05 Nov 2011 17:11:58 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_504781 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_504781 restlesslilly Good! I hope you find a great job after grad school! Looking forward to seeing you here next year too! :) Sat, 05 Nov 2011 17:13:22 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_504825 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_504825 restlesslilly My toddler's kisses make me feel better :) Sat, 05 Nov 2011 17:13:39 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_504831 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_504831 Mikita5510 @restlesslilly at least yours is giving out kisses mine feels so crummy he isnt giving out kissses or hugs :( do you need to talk??????? Sat, 05 Nov 2011 18:12:08 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_506456 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_506456 CheshireKat I'm sorry to hear that things are so difficult for you lately. :( That sounds like a lot to have piled onto your plate. I just wanted to let you know that you're never "not good enough" because of the mental illnesses you have. In fact, you're in a better position to lend emotional support to friends and family than most people ever will be, because of what you've gone through with mental illness, not in spite of it. Your struggles give you a special lens by which to view the world, one that is more empathetic, more compassionate, more resilient, and more understanding than most. That is a precious gift, and I know that it's hard to accept and appreciate sometimes (even a lot of the time) but it's something to keep in mind. Is there any way you can get out of the house more than just a few times a month? Are you restricted by a lack of transportation or something else? Bus passes aren't very expensive and might be a good way for you and the kids to get out of the house and interact with society. It would make you feel a lot better, I think, to be out and about at least once a day instead of cooped up in the house. I go stir-crazy when I'm stuck at home all day for any reason, and I make it a point to get out of the house at least once a day, even if I'm only walking my dog around the block a few times. I have learned over the years that my mental health improves dramatically when I take the extra effort to make sure I get out of my house at least once daily, preferably more, and preferably for more than 20 minutes but for at LEAST that long. Bonus points for having 10 or more minutes of conversation with someone other than my roommate (as wonderful as she is, I need a variety of interactions to be happy). If you're restricted because of anxiety, then I think it's even MORE important for you to push yourself to get out of the house at least once a day. If you do it for a little while, you will find that you become a lot less anxious about it, until it becomes routine and doesn't bother you at all. Voice of experience speaking and all. :) Now I love taking walks, when it used to terrify me. As far as Christmas, I am sure you've heard it a lot already but don't feel bad about not being able to buy lots of "stuff" for your kids. For one thing, they're so young that they probably won't remember this Christmas anyway. For two, Christmas isn't about the stuff, it's about spending time with (not to sound trite) your most precious gift of all - your family. Go to a thrift store, buy a jigsaw puzzle with some missing pieces (not more than $1.00 probably), pick up a can of green paint, and paint the cardboard side of the pieces green and make a "wreath" to go around pictures of the kids. Use red puff paint to paint "berries" onto the wreath and write the year. Now you have a fun arts and crafts project the 2 year old can dabble in (mostly getting paint on themselves but hey, they'll have fun) and a keepsake that you can hang on the tree for years to come. I have tons of these that I made with my family, they cost very little and they mean a lot more than fancy things. I'm sorry if you didn't want a bunch of advice or words of wisdom, lol, that's just my default mode when I hear someone who is struggling. I hope that some part of that might be helpful to you in some way, though, even if just to know that someone out in the wide world hears you and empathizes with that feeling of uselessness, of irritation, and of feeling "not good enough." You are more than good enough. Now you go write that horror story and sic some zombies on your characters or something. :) Sat, 05 Nov 2011 19:42:03 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_509120 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_509120 harrowing Hello. Depression, anxiety, one suicide attempt, self-harming for over 7.5 years: me in a nutshell. Sun, 06 Nov 2011 01:26:37 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_516680 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_516680 Mikita5510 ok me not happy with this damn time change thing.. the kids were up by 6 when they were used to it being 7 and all I wanna do is sleep,,, I decided to kiss the sidewalk yesterday( it is a lousy kisser, it hurt my head). in other words I fell flat on my face and I am feeling it today and all I wanna do is rest I ache all over and my head is killing me only thing keeping me going is i know they will want to nap early or so i can dream right? Sun, 06 Nov 2011 03:38:55 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_517904 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_517904 restlesslilly Welcome! All sounds incredibly familiar except I self injured for 9 years and have been SI free since 2008. Hope your Nano is doing well! Glad you dropped by to join us! Sun, 06 Nov 2011 04:08:17 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_518216 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_518216 restlesslilly Same here. My youngest kept me up tossing and turning all night, then woke at 4am wanting a bottle and by the time I got her settled it was 5:30am and my toddler wanted up. Good thing for coffee! I hate Daylight Savings Time. It's just stupid! lol Sun, 06 Nov 2011 04:09:50 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_518229 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_518229 sarah_hart I'm Sarah, and I've been dealing with depression since I was 15 years old, and anxiety in the last year or so. I've been on and off medication; I have yet to find anything that works well enough for me, but that doesn't give me side effects that I can't tolerate. I've been in and out of therapy throughout my life as well, though I'm not currently seeing anyone. I'm not taking any medications currently and I'm still recovering from the after effects the last one caused (cymbalta). I'm trying to use NaNo as not only a way to further my writing career, or start it really, but as a form of self-therapy, as it has been for me in the past. I wish all of you the best of luck, not just with NaNo, but in dealing with your illnesses. I understand firsthand just how difficult it can be. Sun, 06 Nov 2011 13:58:15 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_530938 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_530938 restlesslilly Good luck to you as well! Sun, 06 Nov 2011 17:28:38 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_536656 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_536656 restlesslilly Woot! I'm on track with my word count, and even a few hundred words ahead! I'm impressed with me. Normally by now my story is running out of steam, my word count is way behind, and I'm giving up. but this year my story is just getting started! Maybe this is my year!(finally!) Hope you're all doing well and if you're behind, don't give up!!! There's still tons of time to catch up! Sun, 06 Nov 2011 17:30:38 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_536710 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_536710 JStipe14 I am ahead by a thousand or so words. on the other hand, my anxiety and depression are flaring so badly right now it isn't even funny. hope I don't end up in a scary scary place like I did in april... never again! Mon, 07 Nov 2011 00:35:44 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_545310 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_545310 Amy Geliebter Wow, I love this idea! I attempted suicide once and have been self harming for five years. I've had over ten diagnoses, but my current therapist (who I love) has me diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I'm going to individual therapy once a week, group therapy once a week, and also doing light box therapy at home every day. I've never been better! NaNo has really given me purpose this month and I feel great. (: Mon, 07 Nov 2011 09:38:51 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_551423 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_551423 Amy Geliebter hang in there! you can do it. &lt;3 Mon, 07 Nov 2011 09:39:25 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_551429 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_551429 dutchmoxie So, I'm back this year, but I've already gotten off to a bad start. I went to New York with my sister. Had a blast, but it was bad for the word count. Have to work hard to catch up... For those who don't remember or know me: I'm Inge, Dutch college student, 22 years old, diagnosed with Asperger's and currently on anti-depressants (suffering some stupid side effects at the moment, like hair loss and the lack of inhibitions when it comes to eating...) I didn't make it last year, but I'm hoping I'll be able to do it this year Mon, 07 Nov 2011 13:40:46 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_557009 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_557009 CheshireKat Hey Amy, welcome to the Quackers! It sounds like you're doing really well right now, that's great to hear. :) I am the kind of person who has to constantly be working towards something, I don't do well with stagnating, so NaNo is good for me too because it gives me something to work towards. At my job I have been promoted or given a raise 6 times in the past year, and everyone always says I'm an over-achiever... I honestly can't NOT go after promotions and raises, it's not that I'm a workaholic by any stretch, but I'm just the kind of person who needs to be working towards a goal all the time. Being in a work environment that encourages goal-oriented behavior is good for people like me, it gives me a place where I can thrive, like NaNo but paid. :) Mon, 07 Nov 2011 18:32:55 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_564223 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_564223 JStipe14 Thank you. I'm just constantly on edge all the time. It's driving me nuts. Combine that with a low mood, and it's the perfect recipe for disaster in my book Mon, 07 Nov 2011 20:59:08 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_567796 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=5#forum_thread_comment_567796 Mikita5510 ok today is a really bad day for me i keep trying to write luckily its a fiction based book on my issues,, i just cant stop crying today my husband and i got into a fight that did not help and i just cant get back up again...... i am trying but its so hard.. Tue, 08 Nov 2011 14:12:34 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_582775 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_582775 The Quill My first time ever on this website... I have to admit I'm very confused! But I love this group! I'm 18, with Major Depressive Disorder and extreme anxiety....yay! I'm so excited to find other people on this website who have struggled with mental illnesses. Thank you, whoever created this group! Tue, 08 Nov 2011 15:27:26 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_584441 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_584441 Mikita5510 welcome the Quill.....ill be more sociable at a later date its been a bad day for me im sorry :( im normally alot nicer Tue, 08 Nov 2011 16:56:46 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_586280 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_586280 CheshireKat I've had a slow last couple of days. My mood has been suffering a lot, I think the time change and the change in daylight during the days has hit me hard. I like waking up to light in the morning, but the early darkness is messing with my internal clock and mood regulation pretty badly. I've been trying to stay busy and social to combat the feelings of depression creeping in, but it's hard. Writing has not been high on my list because it's a solitary activity, and the last thing I need to do is hole up and be alone for too long. Today I am finally hopping on that word count, though. It's a good thing I got ahead so early, that way I could afford to miss a few days of writing here and there. My bare minimum to break tonight is 18k, but I'm hoping to get closer to 20k for the evening. Wish me luck! Tue, 08 Nov 2011 18:00:18 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_587579 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_587579 Mikita5510 @Cheshirecat I cant even break 15K sigh.... Tue, 08 Nov 2011 18:26:20 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_588118 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_588118 CheshireKat You'll get there! Slow and steady wins the race. I'm at juuust shy of 18k right now, and I really am going to push it and try to get all the way to 20k tonight. I know I would feel so accomplished if I did, it would really make my night. Tue, 08 Nov 2011 18:28:53 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_588178 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_588178 krminnj :Grumble: I am a little bit behind because my mood hasn't been too great lately. I am feeling better today, so hopefully I will catch up. Wed, 09 Nov 2011 05:13:14 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_596112 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_596112 restlesslilly Good luck! I knew my husband's days off would mess me up. I'm pretty behind. Gonna try to catch up today. Wed, 09 Nov 2011 05:47:23 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_596447 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_596447 JStipe14 Yay for waking up with a horrendous stomach ache and feeling like I've been stuck in brain molasses... well, not really! Other than that, one of my classes got cancelled, and I slept through one of them, so I have extra time to write. Wed, 09 Nov 2011 10:11:50 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_600346 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_600346 Mystic Dragon Hihi, quackers! Just a little past the first week...let's all keep try'n and not give up! Even if you're behind, there's still time! If you don't have a wordcount yet...welp, get a title! Then, you at least have one word, and it's a starting point! Those that are struggling or having bad days...try writing about them! Create a new story revolved around it, maybe! Writing is a great way to get feelings out...recently, I did a word war with someone writing a blog of her travels around the US, and another that's writing a non-fiction story as well! When I have bad days, it sometimes goes into my story...or as idea for a second story in case I finish the first early! *waves a "Go, Quackers!" flag* Wed, 09 Nov 2011 13:07:03 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_603645 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_603645 restlesslilly Great advice! Today, I've realized creating subplots is fun! I needed a break from my MCs so I'm focusing on the minor characters. I still have at least 1500 words to write to catch up but I'll get there! Keep pushing forward everyone! Wed, 09 Nov 2011 15:38:51 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_606376 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_606376 krminnj I think as someone who has dealt with mental illness yourself, you will make a more understanding and effective psychiatrist :-) Thu, 10 Nov 2011 05:09:02 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_617030 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=1#forum_thread_comment_617030 decafmirth I am about to leave the house to go to my initial assessment with a clinical psychologist at the organisation that provides mental health support to my area. My heart is pounding, I feel dizzy and nauseous, and I cannot seem to break out of a mental thought spiral that is predicting the worst. Ugh. Telling myself to take deep regular breaths, to take my time walking to their offices, and when I get there to just be honest about my situation. The worst that could happen is that they reject my claim for support. If that were to happen then I could appeal... So, the worst is not all that bad. On the positive side of things, I hit 17,000 words this morning. I hit a block two days ago and so switched writing tactics. I now write by hand in a notebook every time I am waiting for the kettle to boil or whenever I nip to the bathroom. I then type up my notes at the end of the day. Using that method I wrote over 5,000 words yesterday. It helped me to feel slightly less useless! Wish me luck at this appointment y'all! Thu, 10 Nov 2011 05:36:56 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_617323 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_617323 Eran of Arcadia Good luck, with the appointment and the wourcount! Thu, 10 Nov 2011 06:39:59 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_617993 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_617993 decafmirth The appointment went well. They have offered me a choice between group therapy and one to one support. I have to decide which I would rather have. I'm torn. I have had both forms of therapy before. I find group therapy useful because it helps me to feel less alone, but I find that one-to-one therapy helps me to find appropriate coping strategies more quickly. Gah. Thu, 10 Nov 2011 09:03:40 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_620079 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_620079 Aneith Bad news: My story is going at a snails pace. Good news: The reason it's going so slow is because I'm much more interested in all the progress I have been making in regards to my self esteem/mental health. Yay! Thu, 10 Nov 2011 16:44:31 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_628502 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_628502 JStipe14 I have to switch medications for my depression and anxiety today... oh joy :/ I hit 21056 words because I started incorporating my depression and anxiety into my story a lot more. My symptoms flared so badly that I slept through a class the other day, but I am hoping the med change gets rid of all that craziness. The joys of actually having a funny story about forgetting to take my meds one day! It did wonders for my wordcount :) Fri, 11 Nov 2011 01:59:12 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_635953 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_635953 CheshireKat I'm glad to hear your appointment went well. There are definitely benefits to both group and individual therapies, I guess you'll have to decide which one you need more right now. Good luck! Fri, 11 Nov 2011 07:34:26 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_638715 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_638715 CheshireKat I'm glad I got ahead when I did because life definitely got crazy for a few days! I keep having things interrupt my evenings and prevent me from writing... and I can't seem to write when there's daylight so it's seriously cutting into my word count. At least it gets dark so early now, thanks to the time change. That increases the number of dark hours I have to write during. :) My mood has been a little better lately. I had a very long talk with my best friend and it helped my outlook a lot. I was stressed out about certain things but after talking to her I realized that my true friends love me regardless so it's not worth stressing out over those things. Everything will fall into place eventually. I am realizing, though, that my therapist is fairly useless. It's not really her fault, either, it's mostly mine. I haven't been able to talk to her about any of this lately, any of my mood issues or doubts or the things stressing me out. We just don't have that kind of rapport. I could (and did) tell my old therapist everything, but it just seems like I'm never going to get to that point with this one. I've been seeing her for 6 months now, and we still talk mostly about superficial things, with the occasional mention of my medications thrown in for good measure. Sigh. I don't know if I should try starting over with a different therapist, or just stick to the one I have and try to open up more. I think I'm still stuck on the fact that she isn't my old therapist, which is of course not her fault and not something she can change. Maybe it just takes more time? Or maybe if you don't click after 6 months, you never will. I don't really know. Fri, 11 Nov 2011 07:41:11 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_638818 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_638818 Aneith It might be good to talk this over with your therapist. She might have some suggestions. Fri, 11 Nov 2011 13:03:36 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_644118 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_644118 Mikita5510 i wil have to make up today tomorrow I cant type at all I have been in a dream state all day half awake half asleep.....just cause im soo tired Fri, 11 Nov 2011 16:03:11 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_647513 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_647513 VikingPlumb Hi! I'm Z. I've been struggling with anxiety and depression since I was a kid, brought on by traumatic events and inheritance from my mother. I manage to work around it, and with the help of my meds I've been doing awesomely at this year's nano, even with the stress. It's actually a form of stress relief, being able to write and get feelings out. I'm glad to see everyone is so nice here, and so open about themselves. I feel like I'm not alone. Keep being awesome, wrimos. Fri, 11 Nov 2011 19:27:34 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_650358 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_650358 restlesslilly Welcome! Sat, 12 Nov 2011 04:59:12 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_655834 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_655834 restlesslilly I've been exhausted the past few days, passing out at 8 or 9 after the kids get to bed. Hoping to catch up soon. Hoping hubby will watch the kids and let me write before he goes to work. Sat, 12 Nov 2011 05:01:12 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_655852 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_655852 restlesslilly Maybe she just isn't the right therapist for you, I'd probably talk it over with her. If I still feel unable to open up after a month or two I move on cause it just means they don't make me feel comfortable enough to get the most I need out of it. good luck! Sat, 12 Nov 2011 05:04:40 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_655885 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_655885 restlesslilly I give up everyone. Life has been so stressful. We have no money and don't get paid for over a week. I have to do everything here at home and my kids are so little, my youngest just screams all the time. Plus my husband is little help. No one cares about my goals but me. So why should I? I loved my novel, but I deleted it. I'm done with Nano. Been trying since 2007 and have never won. Why do I bother?2007 and 2008 I was struggling with depression severely. 2009 and 2010 I was pregnant and trying to get stable mentally and financially and everything for my girls. This is the first year I really thought I would win, but I have zero support in real life. Zero help with my girls and everything else. Husband thinks he can work 40 hrs a week and then just sit on his butt. Yeah I'm nothing but a stay at home mom, but I get no time off! No breaks form anything. I have to do it all here. I'm just too stressed and exhausted and depressed. I'm done caring about myself. No one else gives a damn about me, why should I? From now on I guess I'll just cook and clean and take care of my girls and throw myself into it completely and do it perfectly. Since that's all I'm allowed to be interested in doing. Nothing but my kids and housework are supposed to matter to me. So, fine. I give up on doing anything for myself. I have too much stuff to do I don't have time for any of it anyway. I have to be a good mom and wife and who I am besides that shouldn't exist anymore anyway, least thats how everyone acts. So I guess I need to let go of anything else that brings me joy and happiness or makes me feel good about myself. It's all forbidden in my life. :( I miss my novel already, been holding back my tears. I gtg clean up my house more and get my kids up from their nap. Try to get my husband to wake up finally today so he can take me to my moms before he goes to work since I told her I'd visit. Good luck everyone on your novels and in life. I don't know if I'll ever be back to nano. It just seems pointless for me to keep trying every year. *hugs* I'll miss you all Sat, 12 Nov 2011 10:43:13 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_659611 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_659611 Riyoha Lilly, I wish I was better at this....that I knew what the right thing to say is, or that I even knew SOMETHING to say.... But you shouldn't give up, I can't pretend to understand what's going on in your life....but you have to keep hoping for things to get better and never give up. You can't let the world crush you or you might just never get up again....after all, every day that goes by is one more day the world isn't ending and we're not all being eaten by zombies/swallowed by a growing sun/wiped out by nuclear war/bacon/BEEEEEEEES! ^_^ Just keep fighting and things'll work out! If not...kick them till they do...in the nards ^_^ Sat, 12 Nov 2011 15:49:25 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_664835 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_664835 restlesslilly Thank you :) Sometimes it's hard to wanna do anything but throw up your hands and give up, but I know I shouldn't. I am sorry for the massive rant...I am thinking on whether to keep trying or not. If not I will be here to offer support to you all though! And most likely be back next year to try again. I know I could never give up Nano for good Sat, 12 Nov 2011 17:00:45 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_665963 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_665963 Mikita5510 @restlesslilly you CANT LEAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just keep trying whatever you write is just a step closer to the goal and if you dont make it this year then you will next year just dont LEAVE ME!!!! HUGE HUGS trust me if it were not for my sisters living here atm id have no help and no support either Sat, 12 Nov 2011 19:27:49 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_668406 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_668406 Cadaverine I've been a bit head-screamy lately, and I think it's because summer's settling in. Summer sun makes me anxious, and the world is far too bright for my eyes. I spend more and more time indoors and I move less because of the heat. I'm not sure whether these things are the cause of my feeling worse in summer or whether they're contributing factors. Worse part is that there's so little research on reverse SAD. You go to websites for help and people keep talking about light boxes and stuff... yeah, not so useful. Sun, 13 Nov 2011 06:44:50 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_674550 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_674550 restlesslilly *hugs* Sun, 13 Nov 2011 10:13:22 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_676148 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_676148 restlesslilly Yeah I rarely go outside during summer too, I actually like cold and dark of winter better. Maybe because I can relate to it better? ha...*hugs* hope you feel better soon! Sun, 13 Nov 2011 10:14:26 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_676162 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_676162 Cadaverine Thank you ^-^ and right back at you Sun, 13 Nov 2011 15:57:39 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_681217 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_681217 Mikita5510 what genre would I be in?? other than ugly and usless my mc is based on me and the story is a fictional story point of my life iwth my depression and anxiety disorder, real life stories told from a fictional POV...... Sun, 13 Nov 2011 19:40:17 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_685126 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_685126 restlesslilly How's everyone doing? I am thinking of doing my own writing and trying to think up another idea. Maybe if I start soon I can aim for 50k by Christmas or something. I tried getting my novel back but it must have been overwritten on my hard drive already :( *hugs* to all hope you're all doing well! Tue, 15 Nov 2011 06:02:44 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_707516 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_707516 restlesslilly All I can think of is mainstream fiction. it doesn't really fit with any specific genre Tue, 15 Nov 2011 06:03:31 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_707521 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_707521 Riyoha Genre?! BAH! That's one of them fancy publisher words! We don't need no stinkin' genre tags! ^_^ Just write what you want and let the publisher fuss and fret over what genre it belongs in ^_^ Also...MY EPIC NANO FAIL STREAK IS CONTINUING! BUAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHA! Tue, 15 Nov 2011 14:06:59 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_713876 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_713876 LucidaSans manic depressive here. was housebound for 5 years but i got out with the help of my mum. didnt have any other help. I got through it through writing poetry and living online. stil have it but now i take pills. which do help. Always wondered what id be like if i stopped taking them. I also have the most terrible shakes. so i doupt what i am writing will be readable. But i dont care because i had a lot of fun doing it. Though i now have a cramped finger.. Tue, 15 Nov 2011 15:19:30 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_715148 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_715148 restlesslilly lol, me too! I think maybe I should be proud of my awesome ability at not winning nano, ever. hehe. Tue, 15 Nov 2011 16:18:42 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_716071 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_716071 otagoite2002 I'm Lara, 23 years old &amp; from New Zealand. I've had something of a history with OCD (better now, *crosses fingers*). This year I've been introduced to panic attacks, so I'm working to get on top of that. I am a procrastinating queen :-D so haven't actually written a word yet (shhhh!) BUT I do have a plot, so that's a start..... Wed, 16 Nov 2011 02:22:13 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_722218 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_722218 Aneith I don't like summer either. The heat really gets to me and I get dehydrated and dizzy no matter how much water I drink. Wed, 16 Nov 2011 11:07:10 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_727131 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_727131 Aneith I understand. Even my former MiL (who one would expect to know what it's like and who pretends to be pro-woman's rights) told me that it was unfair of me to expect my ex to cook after work. I took care of our son who was an infant at the time, got up with him every time he woke up at night, and cleaned the house. I got no time off. My ex had evenings, nights, and weekends off from work. My ex's only chores were to cook and mow the lawn and he rarely mowed the lawn. Wed, 16 Nov 2011 11:15:08 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_727250 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_727250 restlesslilly I made sure my husband felt plenty bad about my novel. He even downloaded a program and tried to find it again after I deleted it but it must have been overwritten already. I forgive him, because I love him. He's a good man. But his work schedule makes him exhausted all the time and, honestly, pretty much useless when he's home. It's been aggravating and stressful. He just put in for a morning shift and he's the most senior officer who applied for it(He's a CO) so he should definitely get it. I hope so! Then he'll have no excuse for not helping me more. Wed, 16 Nov 2011 16:23:56 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_731899 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=6#forum_thread_comment_731899 decafmirth In my eyes, you are a winner already. (ETA: I wrote more, explaining why I think you are a winner but it made me cry. So, I deleted it.) Thu, 17 Nov 2011 06:56:22 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_739592 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_739592 restlesslilly Aww thanks! *hugs* Thu, 17 Nov 2011 10:37:41 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_741924 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_741924 Mystic Dragon Sorry I haven't been around the thread much to do cheering! Real Live suxxors bigtime. I keep getting stuck in my story...mostly cause it's a comedy (and fantasy, but heavy on the humor), and lately, things here haven't been too "funny". My dad yells at me at least once a night about jobs (and anything else under the sun he can think of), and no matter what I say back to him, he always says that I'm not trying when I'm applying all over the place. I even applied for a couple retail positions, and I fail hard at retail! I had to contact my local DVR, and I hate talk'n to them cause they always want nothing to do with me...found out that the job agency I was work'n with back in the summer still apparently has voucher time even though I haven't heard from 'em since the end of August. So, now I gotta contact THEM, too. Then, on Monday, I got a blow that got me sad for two days, and that was watching my favorite group on the Sing Off get eliminated for seemingly no reason. Mostly, though, the rut has been cause of my dad's yelling. I'm not even close to my goal. This month, I wantedta write at least two of the three novels I got ideas for (aiming for all three). Now, I'll be lucky if I finish the first one. -_- I feel weird saying that when my wordcount is high, but wordcount has never been my goal this month; completing my stories has. Thu, 17 Nov 2011 16:48:55 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_746711 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_746711 Mikita5510 oh I gotta do some bragging here so please dont beat me much..... I hit the 25K mark!!!!!!!! go me @ for me its a big deal with all the shit im dealing with at home its a big deal so im doing the happy dance!!!!!! Fri, 18 Nov 2011 09:51:46 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_754603 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_754603 Mystic Dragon Grats! ^^ Fri, 18 Nov 2011 12:39:28 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_756381 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_756381 JStipe14 almost have 33, 500 words... I have 33,497. I would have written more yesterday so I could say almost 34K or more, but I had a migraine and a brain zap from switching my meds around. those brain zaps suck rocks. my anxiety and depression are very tame these days- especially after switching meds :) hugs to all :D Fri, 18 Nov 2011 22:40:57 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_763060 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_763060 Mikita5510 @Jstipe that is great!!!! oh man those migraines suck... ive had one from them screwing up my migraine meds... i take a preventive med and the ins co and pharmacy could not agree with what my doc wrote.... it was a week long screw up with me suffereing.... Sat, 19 Nov 2011 03:31:46 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_764515 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_764515 restlesslilly congrats! Sat, 19 Nov 2011 04:29:18 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_764752 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_764752 restlesslilly Sorry life is getting you down *hugs* Awesome job at getting so much written though! Remember to be proud of what you've accomplished. Hope things get better soon! Sat, 19 Nov 2011 04:31:25 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_764769 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_764769 restlesslilly good job! you're doing great! :) Sat, 19 Nov 2011 04:32:23 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_764775 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_764775 CheshireKat Crap. Crap crap crap. I was doing so good for the first week... and then life got in the way. Now I'm so far behind! :( I've been so busy with work, school (November is by far the worst month of the fall semester... ironic that it's also the month we try to write 50k words during!), and my grad school applications. Every time I have a free moment to sit down and write, I feel like I should be working on my personal statement or my resume, not on NaNo. As much as I love NaNo writing, I just can't justify using my spare time to do that when I still have so much to do for my applications. On the plus side, I just got offered an interview for an intern position in a pediatric neuropsychology clinic that I really wanted! My interview will be shortly after Thanksgiving, so I'm excited for that. :) It would be great experience for me in a mental health care setting, since that's the kind of work I want to eventually do (mental health services, not necessarily pediatric neuropsych). So fingers crossed! I'm going to try to finish up my personal statement today so that I can spend all of tomorrow trying (emphasis on trying) to catch up with NaNo, or at least get slightly less behind than I am right now... because at this rate I might graduate before I hit 50k. &gt;.&lt; I hope everyone else is doing well! Sat, 19 Nov 2011 07:17:16 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_765704 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_765704 Aneith @CheshireKat: Good luck! :) I finished my self esteem course yesterday. Oh my goodness. It was such an awesome course. I think it did a lot for me. At least, I hope it did a lot for me. On the other hand, I went out last night and was way too shy. Also, I'm 23 and not ugly, but no guy has shown any interest in me in the past two years (unless you count my ex which I don't since I don't want that kind of attention). Now, I know I can do just fine on my own and I don't need a guy, so I feel like I've failed by feeling lonely. And I know that's ridiculous since it's normal to feel lonely sometimes. Sat, 19 Nov 2011 17:26:03 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_772547 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_772547 Mikita5510 swearing alert!!!!!!!! ok i woke up with one of my migraines how in the hell am i going to type anything today???? i took a pill and it is slowly starting to work but OMFG my head is killing me,, I even want to go to the ER for it it hurts that damn bad,,, Sun, 20 Nov 2011 03:43:45 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_777805 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_777805 Riyoha I have a question for you all! (not related to NaNo which I'm giving up on ^_^) For those of you who buy ebooks (off kindle store and stuff) I have a couple of questions (related to my current project) Assuming it was your kind of story, would you be interested in a series but instead of full novels it was told through shorter pieces (around 10-15k a piece)? And if you were, would you be willing to pay 99p (or whatever the equivalent ebook price is in your area) for one of these stories? Thanks quackers ^_^ Sun, 20 Nov 2011 13:52:22 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_782941 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_782941 restlesslilly I think I'd consider it if it had good reviews. I think new authors are normally putting their first story up for free and pricing the rest. That way those who like the first book/short story/whatever will be more apt to buy it than to spend money on something they aren't sure is something they like or want to read. That's just what I've seen on my nook from Barns and Noble. Tue, 22 Nov 2011 16:39:37 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_810027 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_810027 Sunechirei So, I figured I should comment here among people who might actually understand how messed up I am XD I'm 17, I've been diagnosed with a slight personality disorder, minor anorexia, PTSD, about 18 or 19 anxiety disorders, chronic insomnia (though this has gotten better recently), depression, maybe bi-polar disorder, and my therapist thinks I might be a shoe in for paranoid schizophrenia. Wonderful -__- My muses are voices in my head that tell me what to do and a lot of people think I should be institutionalized because of all my issues, but I'm so high functioning my psychiatrist doesn't see a point. I love to write fantasy though, and writing is the only thing that keeps me from going insane :) Hooray for writing! Wed, 23 Nov 2011 10:20:51 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_819460 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_819460 decafmirth I am so tired. OH was up late last night (I slept in a separate room but his game is Noisy) and it's my turn to let his dad in this morning. Father-in-Law said he would be here at 9. He is not here yet. (FiL and FiL's best mate, a plumber, have been refitting our bathroom for the last MONTH. We have a working toilet. The bath works but we don't want to risk using it 'cause we are not yet allowed to tile the room. There is no sink. There was a sink but it leaked so they took it back out. And yesterday I came back from housesitting at my sister's place to find out that FiL's best mate has gone away for six weeks on an engineering course. SO, it will be January at the earliest before the sink is refitted.) Because I am so tired, I am seeing things out of the corner of my eye, or seeing blurry movements in reflections. And I keep irrationally thinking 'DON'T BLINK'! Help! Thu, 24 Nov 2011 02:27:39 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_828743 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_828743 Mikita5510 you only have to worry about not blinking if they are weeping angels.. they be those things in the one with mat Smith the first one he did,,,,oh damn 20 minutes... Prisoner Zero has Escaped... that one... i am drawing a blank of what they were. yes I am a Dr who nut... i am sorry about your sink... the only thing I can do to help is this ((((hug)))) you are not alone... Thu, 24 Nov 2011 02:41:44 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_828774 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_828774 CheshireKat Something I have found to be true in my life is that people are usually a lot more attracted to attitude than they are to pure looks alone. If you carry yourself in a confident, self-assured way, that radiates a kind of attractiveness that you can't really describe, but it's really intriguing and engaging to those around you. When I stopped caring about what other people thought about me, I became more self-assured and confident, and in turn I suddenly found myself gaining the attention of men wherever I went - at work, at parties, etc. I had never had anyone interested in me before, but now they were, and it wasn't because I physically looked any different. It was because my attitude had changed. The awesome thing about that is that your attitude is a lot easier to change than most of your physical characteristics! I think the self-esteem course was a great idea, and I bet it has helped you a lot. That is the first step. Now you just have to really embrace the idea of being "good enough for yourself", so to speak. Not just good enough for others, but good enough for yourself - being good enough to be happy with yourself, with who you are and what you stand for, without needing to be validated by any other person out there. Ironically, once you reach that level of self-approval, that's when other people will start to notice you... and then you can decide if you want to be with them or not, and it will be entirely YOUR choice because you will be so at peace with yourself that it won't matter either way. I would also encourage you to look up the video "How to Be Alone" on YouTube. It will be the first thing to come up in the search if you search those words exactly. It is a performed poem and it is one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard, and I think every single person in the world should hear it at least once, and really embrace it. Thu, 24 Nov 2011 07:00:17 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_829847 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_829847 CheshireKat Happy Thanksgiving to all the Quackers out there! I hope that your time with family/friends will be affirming and pleasant today, and that holiday stress doesn't get the best of you. :) Thu, 24 Nov 2011 07:06:58 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_829881 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_829881 sunydaze I have basically given up on NaNo for this year. I did so well my first week but then I got caught up with one job not working out and then going back to my old job and having to work overtime to catch up on all the work that didn't get done for that week I wasn't there. I should change my homepage from Nano back to my email account or something because every time I see my word count, I get so anxious and feel like a failure. I know I'm not the only one that won't finish this time around, and it was my first year and I've learned some things for next year, but I've always had the issue of seeing only in black and white and to react more deeply to stuff than others. I suck at letting things just roll off my back. Fri, 25 Nov 2011 06:31:36 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_839667 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_839667 Mikita5510 im am trying but this shit is getting harder and harder and now my 9 year old has told me to my face that all I do during the month of NOvember is Type talk about a low blow and cut my heart out of my chest and stomp on it and hurt me to my very core and it sucks I was doing very good I had 2 good days and now I am lower than a pregnant snakes belly i cant seem to break out of this depression it has me wrapped so tightly in its shell right now that all that I can barely move and I hurt form head to toe. i takes everything in me to keep moving forward... and everyone is talking about christmas coming up if it were not for my kids id skip that damn holiday I swear to god I would... Fri, 25 Nov 2011 11:18:05 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_841943 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_841943 Mikita5510 [quote=sunydaze] I have basically given up on NaNo for this year. I did so well my first week but then I got caught up with one job not working out and then going back to my old job and having to work overtime to catch up on all the work that didn't get done for that week I wasn't there. I should change my homepage from Nano back to my email account or something because every time I see my word count, I get so anxious and feel like a failure. I know I'm not the only one that won't finish this time around, and it was my first year and I've learned some things for next year, but I've always had the issue of seeing only in black and white and to react more deeply to stuff than others. I suck at letting things just roll off my back. [/quote] im sorry you quit I know how hard it can be and trust me it took everything in me to stick it out this year. Sat, 26 Nov 2011 12:18:05 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_853660 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_853660 restlesslilly Good job everyone! Congrats to those who are plugging away and reaching 50k! *hugs* and well done to everyone else! Even if you only wrote a few words, at least you *did* something! That's more than most people do in a lifetime. Even if the goal to 50k falls short, you still tried aqnd that's what matters! I know I'll be back next year to try again like always haha. I can't stay away from nano! I also love this thread and the people in it. Thanks so much everyone who posted. I hope everyone is having a good end of November! Tomorrow is my 26th birthday. Yay another year older. I miss when birthdays were exciting! I am doing fine despite the blowout and failure of Nano. I just gotta keep trying! I love writing just gotta learn not to get so emotional about, life. :/ I'm sure I'll drop in again tomorrow. *hugs* Quackers! Stay strong and be happy! Tue, 29 Nov 2011 07:24:31 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_886867 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_886867 restlesslilly *hugs* if I didn't have kids I most likely wouldn't do anything for Christmas either. I didn't celebrate it the few years before becoming a mom. I was a total scrooge! lol I hope you're feeling better today Tue, 29 Nov 2011 07:25:51 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_886877 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_886877 Mikita5510 ok somehow I got done and @restlilly as far as I am concerened you are already a winner to me Just because you are you. I consider myself a winner because I got to meet you. you are very special to me! Tue, 29 Nov 2011 14:19:43 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_890974 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_890974 decafmirth I spoke with my dad on the phone earlier. He told me that he has been telling everyone that his daughter has written fifty thousand words of a novel this month. And then he told me that one of his colleagues told him that "fifty thousand words is not even long enough for a novel". My lovely dad answered, "When did you last write fifty thousand words in a month?" Happy me. But my dad's anecdote did make me stop and think. It does not really matter whether the final count comes in at no words or at fifty thousand words. The important thing is that we have each spent some time this month allowing ourselves to step out of this reality and into the world of our imagination. Yes, I am proud of hitting the month's word goal, but I am more proud of being here with you all, and of daring to do something new and different. Thank you. Tue, 29 Nov 2011 20:54:29 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_895843 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_895843 Mikita5510 [quote=decafmirth] I spoke with my dad on the phone earlier. He told me that he has been telling everyone that his daughter has written fifty thousand words of a novel this month. And then he told me that one of his colleagues told him that "fifty thousand words is not even long enough for a novel". My lovely dad answered, "When did you last write fifty thousand words in a month?" Happy me. But my dad's anecdote did make me stop and think. for me I admit it was tough, i had days when all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry..my daughter was especailly horrid this year there was so much drama going on inmy family life my moods were bouncing around more than a damn superball in a wind tunnel so I consider myself super lucky and super stpng not to have given up because I admit there were so very many times I wanted to. It does not really matter whether the final count comes in at no words or at fifty thousand words. The important thing is that we have each spent some time this month allowing ourselves to step out of this reality and into the world of our imagination. Yes, I am proud of hitting the month's word goal, but I am more proud of being here with you all, and of daring to do something new and different. Thank you. [/quote] Wed, 30 Nov 2011 00:24:16 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_897699 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_897699 restlesslilly Aww thank you! Ditto! I am so glad we met here! I love Nano best cause of the friendships, the people. That's what makes Nano great. :) Thu, 01 Dec 2011 06:12:44 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_914519 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_914519 Aneith Oh yeah! The self esteem course definitely did an awesome job on helping me feel better about myself. It's just going to take time to practice. And to remind myself that it's ok to feel lonely. Thu, 01 Dec 2011 18:55:51 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_919913 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=7#forum_thread_comment_919913 DisneyTime Hi all :) Quack quack. I'm either incredibly late or incredibly early, but had a read at some of the posts on here and didn't want to wait til October to say hello :P I'm a nineteen year old university student (genetics) from Glasgow, Scotland. I have depression (currently on SSRIs for the second time and determined to do it right this time) and an anxiety disorder. So lots of circular, unhelpful thinking, beating myself up, hating myself more and more with each second... Sometimes hallucinations. But also a lot of looking at the world and just being astounded by its awesomeness, and how wonderful people can be. So things are looking up, but I'm definitely still in there with the dark clouds and whatnot. I hope everyone's doing good today, I can't wait to get started on writing again, and I'm already looking forward to NaNo 2012 :) x Fri, 06 Jan 2012 10:54:17 -0800 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1036817 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1036817 Mikita5510 i know its NOT even close to time for NANO but I was curious if anyone here has Bipolar disorder? and if if affects your writing at all, i have recently been diagnosed as having bipolar disorder and I want to do this again this year but I do not know if this will afect it in any way... Tue, 10 Apr 2012 05:09:56 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1277936 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1277936 restlesslilly I think it really depends on how severe your bipolar is, there is a wide range of severity or where you are in therapy/healing. I do think my bipolar(my ups and downs in mood) is a major factor in me not yet winning a Nano, despite trying since 2007. I also do not take meds and am able to function, for the most part, just fine. Just remember the labels drs give you don't change who you are! I don't think being given a new diagnosis will effect your writing unless you stress over it and let it make things harder. that's my opinion anyway. A diagnosis is just a term given to help doctors treat you so that you can continue to heal, not a defining factor of who you are or what you can accomplish. Tue, 10 Apr 2012 10:34:34 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1278423 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1278423 restlesslilly Welcome! I am sure we all look forward to hanging out with you come fall! Tue, 10 Apr 2012 10:35:29 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1278424 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1278424 restlesslilly I think I will start trying to prepare for Nano early so I don't have to worry about brainstorming come fall. Especially since I am pregnant yet AGAIN, ugh, lol. I am due in August though thankfully so by November I should be good to go! If being good to go means trying to write a 50k novel with a 2 yr old, 1 yr old, and 3 month old plus preparing to start college again in January and keep up my new hobby! Speaking of my new hobby...I also have started freelance writing and have gotten a few things published online. It's fun and I hope it will help me build my writing skills. Maybe I will actually win one of these years! Tue, 10 Apr 2012 10:39:31 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1278428 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1278428 Mikita5510 im on meds but still trying to get things regulated, my bipolar is recently diagnosed so for now i am on a roller coaster of ups and downs I think im going to brainstorm as well because I am not sure if I will be able to do it this year but I am going to try. I want to do something totally different this year, but no idea what. Got any ideas for me? also how you doing havent talked to you much as you can tell Ive had alot going on?? Thu, 12 Apr 2012 06:52:16 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1283361 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1283361 restlesslilly Hopefully you will start feeling better and get more regulated in the coming months! I know things were pretty crazy for awhile when i first got diagnosed. It did take a few months, and trying meds and therapy, to learn to start having more control over my ups and downs. Don't lose hope it will get better! *hugs* Hmm I am not sure of what to write either. I am thinking of writing my memoirs this nano, since I have been wanting to. Or perhaps expand upon a short story I just got published. Cause I could definitely get a book out of it. Whatever we write about, lets keep trying! Even if we don't win every word is still a huge accomplishment. Thu, 12 Apr 2012 09:58:35 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1283569 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1283569 gentillylace Anybody planning to do Camp NaNo this summer? I intend to do Camp NaNo in August. Thu, 12 Apr 2012 22:58:03 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1285510 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1285510 Mikita5510 writing your memoirs sounds like a great idea and since they are something you know very well would probably make it easier to get to the 50K mark you know what I mean? i wanted to break out of my safety zone this year because my life is so chaotic I wanted to add to the chaos weird huh? I just thought that maybe if I did that it would help me to focus on something other than how messed up my life was if that makes any freaking sense at all. just not sure what would do that... so any ideas you could come up with for me would be cool Im not even sure of what genre are out there in NANO land.....ive done scfi and then last year thats it.. Fri, 13 Apr 2012 05:16:07 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1285770 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1285770 restlesslilly I know for me writing humor always makes me feel better. Just something zany and completely off the wall. Just something you can add anything to and have fun with. :) Fri, 13 Apr 2012 15:02:58 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1286750 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1286750 restlesslilly I am thinking of trying Camp this summer. I will need something to keep me busy in July and August since I will be 8/9 months pg then and getting anxious lol. I tried it last August but only got to 7k. it was fun though they have cabins and we could request each other! Fri, 13 Apr 2012 15:04:23 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1286760 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1286760 gentillylace Oh good! Let's do that! Writing 1667 words a day while 8/9 months pregnant -- that is some kind of pressure! I could not do that, I am sure -- but I have never been pregnant, so I do not know :-) What genre would you write during Camp? I'm planning a prequel to my 2011 NaNo, which is an alternate history where the largely non-violent French Revolution occurred in 1906: this prequel is set just before and during the Revolution, and is about the early life of the mother-in-law of the protagonist of my previous novel: http://campnanowrimo.org/campers/gentillylace/novels/come-the-revolution I am pretty sure one of my local NaNo friends will do Camp this summer, and I am trying to get a Facebook friend from France (who registered for NaNo last October: she is a teacher, which could explain why she didn't start NaNo, although she has a nice series of fantasy stories in English that I have read -- her English is much better than my French, by the way) to do Camp this summer. If you could do Camp as well, then I think my cabin could be well-nigh full! :-) Sat, 14 Apr 2012 02:15:23 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1288020 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1288020 restlesslilly Sounds good to me! :) I love your idea it sounds awesome! I would most likely be writing scifi. I recently wrote a short story about violent aliens coming to earth and claiming they had visited thousands of years earlier, altered the human, race to what they considered better, and have returned to try to force humans into service to fight their war for them...that they are currently losing. Since it was a short story, and my MC died at the end of it, I have tons I could do with the plot. I would be all for joining your cabin sounds fun! :) Sun, 15 Apr 2012 10:46:16 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1290942 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1290942 restlesslilly http://voices.yahoo.com/the-human-experiment-11176410.html &lt;-----the link to my short story Sun, 15 Apr 2012 10:48:00 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1290946 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1290946 gentillylace Very good short story. Perhaps you can focus on the reaction of Deaglan's family to the invasion of the Xplaxions in your novel? I'll request you for my cabin right now :-) Sun, 15 Apr 2012 21:35:15 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1292708 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1292708 Mikita5510 what is NANO camp???? Mon, 16 Apr 2012 09:12:08 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1293355 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1293355 gentillylace Camp NaNo is like NaNo, except that it takes place in June and August. It is sponsored by the marvellous folks at OLL: http://www.campnanowrimo.org/pages/about Mon, 16 Apr 2012 21:13:07 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1295560 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1295560 Mikita5510 i am actually gonna do it I applied for a cabin for people my age.. 40 years old.... wasnt sure what else to do.....im new at this and dont know too many Tue, 17 Apr 2012 19:45:39 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1297919 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1297919 gentillylace I am 45 myself... We can request each other for a cabin, if you would like :-) Tue, 17 Apr 2012 23:30:27 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1298535 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1298535 Mikita5510 when are you doing it?? I was thinking June Wed, 18 Apr 2012 06:28:21 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1298983 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1298983 gentillylace I am planning on doing it in August. Wed, 18 Apr 2012 13:49:21 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1299720 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1299720 Mikita5510 well i caould switch my plans to august not a big deal at least id know someone LOL Thu, 19 Apr 2012 05:42:43 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1301356 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1301356 restlesslilly Maybe we can all be in teh same cabin :) Thu, 24 May 2012 05:56:34 -0700 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1395308 http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/forums/writing-groups-and-clubs/threads/4971?page=8#forum_thread_comment_1395308